A/N: HOLY GOODNESS! First off, your reviews, thank you! ALL of you! I mean, I was thrilled with every reaction because it's exactly what I hoped you'd feel. Please accept this virtual hug *hugs all of you*
Last chapter was such a challenge and I had a blast writing it. THANK YOU!
Here's some fluff!
"Anything?"
"No," she grumbled, "I swear to God if this crap comes out positive-".
Derek sighed behind the door. He tried counting back the weeks they had last been intimate. It'd been a while ago. A long while ago. Before Bailey's accident? He raised his brows as he realized just how long it'd been. Things had only returned back to some normalcy for two weeks but their schedules had been on opposite sides.
He crossed his arms and waited until she made a noise.
"Wait, Derek, there's something!"
He opened the door and stood behind her, "And?"
"Oh," Meredith placed her hand on her chest and sighed with relief, "Negative. All three."
Derek echoed her relief only to receive daggers at him from the mirror, "Oh you're telling me that sigh of yours was because you were distraught over not being pregnant again?"
"I can't. Seriously, no freaking way I can ever be again for multiple reasons!" Meredith threw the tests in the trash and opened the faucet, "You were there when I was told that if I was by some freaking miracle pregnant again-"
He shuttered. The thrilling moment of holding his third child for the first time was overshadowed by the very real fear that his wife's life was once again at the edge of the line. Arizona had been clear, the placental abruption combined with Meredith's past history gave them little to no hope at ever expanding their family this way again. A third pregnancy could be catastrophic after Ellis' birth. Arizona had explained that another pregnancy could mean that her life could be at risk or the life of the fetus could be at risk.
"Yeah, let's not relive that conversation. I remember," he mumbled as he rubbed his face, "Besides, I'm too old for another one. You'd probably teach it to call me grandpa."
"You'd be Grandpa D!" A giggle escaped her as she shut off the faucet and eyed him through the mirror. He shook his head but she managed to catch the small tug on his lips.
Time, aging, growing old, all of it had been one of his incredibly few insecurities. Not necessarily the physicality per se but he saw how there was more salt than pepper in his hair. It reminded him that time was passing too quickly and he had been scared to miss so much with their kids.
Meredith stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his neck.
She pecked his lips before whispering, "You still look good, old man."
He hummed amusingly as she kissed him again. And again. And another. A little deeper. A little longer before pulling back and pecking her lips again, "I'm sure the kids can manage for a bit. You wanna-?"
Meredith giggled as she kissed him again, "We can't, one of those three is gonna walk in on us and we'll end up traumatizing them for life. We never taught them how to knock and even if we did they wouldn't care."
"Oh okay," he patted her bottom gently as they kissed one final time and pulled away, "Alright well now that we've crossed out a possible baby number four-"
"You're having another baby?" A small voice called from the door of the bathroom.
Both parents turned to the door before Derek turned to his wife. She raised a brow in an 'I told you so' look.
Derek rolled his eyes before turning back to his daughter and smiled, "No, we are not having another baby, you are our baby girl and we're not even thinking about it."
"Not even close," Meredith smirked, "You are our baby and that's that."
Ellis smiled happily before frowning, "But I'm not a baby anymore."
"Oh, that's too bad," Derek clicked his tongue, "Hey, you want to help me with waffles? Go get everything ready, I'm right behind you."
"Got it!" Ellis ran out of the room as her dad turned to her mother and rolled his eyes before following her out. Meredith laughed. She was a handful. And more. But her dad was always up for anything and everything she wanted.
She followed the pair out thinking about the three tests in the trash bin. She couldn't deny the fact that there was the slightest tinge of disappointment when she read the words 'not pregnant' on those sticks. But realistically, another baby was not ideal. They were busy. Too busy. A baby requires time, attention and patience. Besides, the bathroom and their bedroom had been finally cleared of any children's books and toys. It was nice to not have intruders so often.
Derek had asked-once- if she preferred to look into adoption. She could still remember the way she nearly froze at the question and the lump that was hard to swallow.
"No, I-I think I'm happy with just Zo, Bails, and Ellie," she whispered as she tugged on the comforter.
"Okay," he turned back to his book without another word. She studied him carefully. Maybe this was his way of once again saying he wanted more. He did come from a big family after all. Five siblings and a soccer team of nieces and nephews. Why not add more?
Meredith sighed, "You're mad."
"No," he turned to her with a genuine smile. He closed his book and sighed, "I will gladly have as many as you want but-"
Meredith swallowed, "Ellis just started going to school all day and my rotation is full and so is yours-"
"You didn't let me finish," Derek kissed her quickly before smiling, "Look I'm a little happy you said that. I'm happy with the three Little Grey Shepherds, too. I think we're complete."
Meredith scoffed, "Little Grey Shepherds? Is that what we're calling them now?"
"It is now," he smirked as he leaned in to kiss her, "Besides, we'd have less time for this."
Meredith giggled as he hovered over and pressed kisses against her neck.
It was decided. A fourth wouldn't be in the cards. They had three when once upon a time, the possibility of one seemed almost impossible. They had been blessed.
Besides, Ellis being dethroned from the kingdom she ruled over would be tragic.
Saturdays were family days. Saturdays were for pancakes, waffles, soccer games, ferry boat rides, hot chocolate, or ice cream. For hikes and building forts. Movies and game nights.
For entwining hands together while their children walked ahead of them in the hiking trail they knew so well.
After weeks of fighting, it was comforting to know that they could still make their way back to one another. They walked in sync behind their children in the misty almost empty trail. The sounds of their boots hitting the leaves echoed alongside their chatter and giggles. Seattle rain seemed never ending and the three kids needed a break from the indoors. Clad in their jackets, they were up for a hike and were promised full fledged quality time as a family.
"He's doing better," she remarked as she squeezed his hand. She pulled the other in her black brown jacket and pushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear, "He's eating better, he's not tired as much. Hopefully Alex gives him the all clear soon."
Bailey walked ahead with his sister. They wore nearly matching green jackets as Zola stood out in a violet hue. His entire recovery had been nothing short of great and though he was still a little weary, he had shown no serious signs of PTSD- much to the relief of his parents.
"He's still not happy about not finishing the end of the soccer season," he sighed, "And he hates that he can't try out for hockey."
"There's always next year or he can try to work something out with the coaches," she pulled him closer and wrapped her arm around his waist, "Weren't we just bringing him home yesterday? How did we end up with three?"
"I know exactly how," Derek laughed as he rubbed her arm enjoying the warmth her body provided. Or providing her with warmth, he wasn't quite sure. Still the lightness of the day and the company he kept was almost perfect.
Derek leaned down to whisper, "She's worried they're gonna hate her."
He motioned to the trio walking a few paces ahead of them. They giggled as Ellis tried to run ahead. Bailey didn't follow as usual and Zola rolled her head in the way she always did when her siblings did something she found immature.
"Who? Zola?" Meredith blinked, "Why would she think that?"
"If she likes a school in another state, we'd be uprooting their lives here," Derek explained as he watched his wife keep an eye on their treasures, "She's worried they'll blame her."
"That's not gonna happen," Meredith shook her head, "Those three are inseparable. Even when they try, they find a way back."
"Mm, remind me when they're really going at it when they're teenagers and fighting over bathrooms and cars," he pulled her closer and pressed his lips atop her head.
Meredith sighed as she continued her watchful gaze. In the midst of careers and motherhood, it was easy to forget how much effort it required to embrace the now. The small moments life provided. Somehow the pain and the memories of dark events managed to stay with her. They forged her life, made her weary of love and scared to dive deep into the unknown. It made her run.
Now, Meredith Grey was learning the art of taking in what she had, even if it wasn't always perfect. But this moment was pretty damn close.
Meredith whispered, "You were right all those years ago. Years went by and we didn't even realize it."
Zola was nearly her height and Bailey was right behind her. Ellis was still growing but she had a feeling she'd have a growth spurt soon.
"Yeah," he whispered wistfully, "We need to tell them. We need to tell them that it may or may not happen before they fully turn against us."
They watched as Zola stood in front of her siblings as she seemed to explain something to them. Bailey grew bored easily and turned to continue his trail. Ellis stayed, curiously eyeing her older sister.
"They're not gonna be happy at first," Meredith sighed, "Maybe we should just, wait a few days and tell them we're going on a trip. Wait until she makes a choice."
"We should get going, it's about to rain," Derek pressed a final kiss to her head, "Hey! Let's head back."
Derek gestured with his head. The kids turned to him.
"Something tells me we should get pizza."
"This is the first piece of real food I've had in more than a month," Bailey made a sound that sounded like he'd been starving for years, "I missed it."
His parents laughed.
"Pizza is not real food," Derek scoffed, "I mean it's food but not one you should be eating too much of."
"Is that why you're eating the salad?" Zola raised a brow, "You know, he's saying it because of you Mom. Dad told me about the times when you would eat frozen pizza before work."
Bailey and Ellis laughed as Meredith nudged her husband sitting next to her, "Why would you tell her that?"
"Ow! I thought that would stay between you and me, Zo," Derek shook his head and winked, "Traitor."
Zola giggled. She bit on another piece before her dad spoke up, "You know New York is known for its pizza."
"How would you know you barely even eat it?" Zola looked up at him, "I like Seattle's pizza, anyways."
Zola gestured to her siblings. Bailey had been under the impression that she wasn't in fact moving anywhere. She hated the fancy school she toured in Seattle but no one- not herself or her parents- had ever mentioned moving. And she wasn't going to break it to them here in their favorite pizza place.
"Daddy, when are you gonna finish my treehouse?" Ellis chimed in, allowing to breathe in relief.
Derek sighed as he turned to his wife, "Hopefully soon. This rain isn't really helping me here."
"Ellis, are you gonna let us go to your treehouse?" Bailey turned to her, "Or are we going to be banned?"
"I am your favorite sister and Bailey is your favorite brother," Zola smirked.
"Mm," Ellis pondered, "Only if you can climb the tree. I don't want stairs."
"Well it's kind of too late for that," Derek chuckled, "You need stairs."
"No I don't," Ellis ripped off a piece of pepperoni from her slice and popped it in her mouth. Her green mischievous eyes betrayed her. She'd been teasing- an art learned from her father.
"Where in the world did you ever get the idea to climb trees?" Meredith laughed.
Ellis shrugged, "Mom, I like days like this."
"You do?" Meredith asked with a smile as she leaned forwards. Derek and Zola got caught up in some sort of conversation that Bailey joined as Meredith looked into her daughter's eyes.
"Mmhmm," Ellis nodded as she bit on her final bit of pizza, "They're my favorite."
Her husband was right. So much of Ellis reminded her of herself. She was strong willed, stubborn, and determined. And she had the biggest heart. Meredith made every possible effort to show her daughter she was loved. Truly loved. And that she grew up nurtured without any doubt.
"Me too, Ellie-Belle," Meredith smiled, "I love these kinds of days, too."
"Three down," Derek exclaimed as he entered the bedroom, "Out like a light."
Meredith smiled as she watched him prepare for the night. As he brushed his teeth, she could see the soft definition of his muscles, his defined jaw and his unruly curls. To anyone, it'd be a typical man doing such a mundane task.
Her mind however, had decided to play a game. A game in which it pretended that Derek Shepherd's hands were on her waist, slowly wandering up and down. Grazing her legs, her thighs, her torso. She imagined the weight of him atop of her as he-
"What?" his voice shook her from her thoughts as he mumbled. She looked up at him still brushing his teeth, turning quickly to the faucet.
"We haven't had a day like today in a while," she shook her head and pushed the comforter down as he laid down beside her, "We haven't put them to bed this early on a weekend."
Derek smirked and tossed the towel on the counter as he strolled to the bed. He climbed in teasingly and hovered over her.
"No," he kissed her once, "we have," and again, "not", and again.
Her eyes fluttered open as they met with blue irises. And there it was.
That look that quickly rendered her helpless and the look she hadn't seen in such a long time. Those eyes and that smile he was giving her could melt her all over again.
And in the sanctuary of their bedroom, all was forgotten. All the fear, all the pain, it was gone. They could give in. They could finally give in.
"Hi," he whispered.
She smiled, "Hi."
Their lips met tenderly. Softly. Like they hadn't done so in years. It was like falling down a well, and there was no ground to hit. But falling was blissful. They didn't have this years ago. No space to feel shy and bashful. Their relationship was always burning and passionate since the moment he sat next to her in the bar.
The sweetness and the tenderness was something they had grown into. He pushed her back gently and deepened their kiss. Her head hit the pillow and her hands were lost in his dark curls and his hands wandered down her body. Everything was lit aflame.
She couldn't help herself when she grinded against him and when she moaned softly. She could feel herself desperately relinquishing any control. His hands wandered up her thigh until they reached the waistband of her pants.
And with a sudden noise, they finally reached the end of the well and hit the ground.
"Mom! Dad!" an instantly recognizable voice caught their attention, "I can't breathe!"
They broke apart and pushed themselves off the bed.
"Zola," Derek mumbled worriedly as he pushed himself off the bed and ran out the room with Meredith following after him.
"Is it ever going to end?"
Derek blinked as he pondered the question.
"The panic attacks," Zola whispered, "Are they ever going to end?"
The lake was quiet. Peaceful. The calming sounds echoed around them as he sat in the boat with his eldest. All things he hoped would help Zola after her panic attack the night before. It was spontaneous and completely unexpected. He pondered her question as he watched the stoic rod.
"What do you feel when they happen?"
"It's like," Zola sighed, "My heart starts pounding. I can hear it in my ears. And I can feel myself sweat and-and-,"
He waited patiently.
"My brain won't stop. It just keeps thinking no matter what I do," she whispered.
She turned to him, "Have you ever had one?"
Derek blinked. Somewhere deep in his mind, a gunshot went off and the sounds of a little girl were muffled. A ferryboat horn blew and the sounds of a flatline rang loudly. Another gunshot, this time closer. And a truck horn blew loudly and a loud crash followed.
"I have," he muttered, "Especially after my accident when you were little. I couldn't- couldn't get into a car without feeling like the air out of my lungs was about to run out. The day we took Ellis home and I had to drive I-I-"
Another flatline.
"I couldn't breathe," he whispered before turning to her, "It's different for all of us, sweetie, but you're not alone."
"Panic attacks suck," Zola muttered as she leaned into her father. She was wise beyond her years. An empathetic child who carried too much on her shoulders and who had tried to suppress it. Because she was the oldest and her siblings needed her. He understood that. He knew where that thinking came from. He also knew that the newly found giftedness didn't help with her anxiety.
"Yeah," he chuckled as he kissed the top of her head, "they do."
"Mom," Ellis asked as she stuffed her mouth with a handful of popcorn, "Why didn't dad take us fishing?"
The trio were having their own morning. Meredith sat on the couch in between her two youngest with a bowl of popcorn in her hand. They sat comfortably in their living room huddled together watching some movie they had probably already watched a million times over. At least the kids had. Meredith could bet that if she had at least started the movie with them, she must've fallen asleep halfway through it.
She turned to her daughter and explained,"Um, Zo needed some quiet. She had a rough night."
"Oh," Ellis muttered as she tucked her legs under, "I thought weekends are family days."
Meredith furrowed her brows, "Well, they are Ellie. It's just that your Daddy thought it'd be a good idea to go out fishing to get Zo back in the right headspace."
Elli grabbed another handful of popcorn and stuffed her face. She turned back to the television and leaned her head onto her mother's shoulder. Things were changing. Zola had always wanted a baby sister and when she finally had her, she was more than thrilled. They were unstoppable together. Ellis followed her big sister everywhere and Zola always included her in everything. But lately, Zola had drifted and Ellis' innocent mind couldn't understand where she was or how she had drifted.
Bailey had some idea and their closeness in age at a time where things were changing for the both of them, only made them grow closer.
Bailey looked up with his brows furrowed, "Is Zo okay?"
Meredith smiled reassuringly and nodded, "She is. She just needs a little space today and you know your daddy. When he's feeling overwhelmed he-"
"-goes fishing," the trio said in unison.
Meredith closed her eyes and giggled at how well her children knew their parents.
"It's the quiet. I get it," Bailey sighed as he reached for popcorn, "I like it too."
Meredith sighed. The youngest Grey Shepherds had to know the truth soon. At least be warned of possible changes. Though they had tried to be understanding, she wasn't willing to simply pick them up and leave everything safe in Seattle and travel into the unknown without giving them some notice. Ellis Grey had done that to her years ago, and no child of Meredith Grey would ever feel that way again. If they picked up their bags and left, they would do it together. Happily. Sort of. Or at least understandably.
At least they'd know why and never wonder why.
"I know it's hard to get everything that's happening right now with me and Dad and Zo," Meredith reached for the control and paused the movie, "And I know it feels like the rugs or floors or whatever are being ripped right under you."
She turned to her son, "And I know how scary your accident was. So, I just want to tell the both of you that no matter what happens- even the scary things- I will always be right here. For you," she giggled Ellis' belly before turning to Bailey, "And you. And Zozo. Even when I'm not, I am always with you. And so is Daddy."
She twirled her head from one child to the next, "You're stuck with us whether you like it or not."
"I like it!" Ellis giggled happily.
Bailey chuckled- breathily like his father, "Me too."
A knock on the door interrupted them.
"I'll get it!" Ellis jumped up and nearly tossed the popcorn bowl over, "It's gonna be Scout!"
Meredith could've told her to wait but she knew better, and she knew who exactly was at the door.
"Hey," Maggie smiled.
"Aww," Ellis frowned before turning to the couch, "I thought it was Scout."
Maggie stood at the door frame with her mouth agape, "Well hello to you too Ellis."
"Ellis! That's not how we treat our guests, especially Auntie Maggie!" Meredith chided as she felt the sofa shift.
"Sorry Auntie Maggie," Ellis hugged her aunt as her brother ran up behind her.
"Hi Aunt Maggie!" He greeted her.
"Hey, it's okay. I get excited with Scout too," Maggie smiled as she embraced the pair, "And you look good! Your mom must've taken real good care of you didn't she?"
"We tried," Meredith sighed, "You okay? What's wrong?"
Maggie sighed as she reached the couch and sat next to her sister. She watched the kids run to the kitchen before turning back "When I texted I thought you said Derek was out fishing with the kids. I'm sorry, I thought you were alone."
"Zo had an episode last night," Meredith explained, "Derek thought it'd be a good idea to take her out."
Maggie nodded.
"You okay?"
"I just needed some sister time and Amelia is out of town," Maggie sighed, "But you're busy, I-I-I'll see you tomorrow-"
"No, stay," Meredith insisted, "But you're not just gonna get sister time, you're gonna get niece and nephew time as well."
Maggie couldn't help the smile on her face as the children ran back to their spots. Her sister was happy. Truly happy with the family she made for herself.
She just hoped she too, could get there with her own husband.
"Aunt Maggie!" Zola smiled as she got out of the car, "I miss you!"
The pair embraced as Derek got off the driver's seat and opened the trunk. He took out a cooler as he watched as his daughter happily embraced his aunt.
"Hey, I was just leaving! Your mom mentioned you were off fishing," Maggie grinned, "Catch anything good?"
Zola beamed, "Yup! We caught trout. Dad says it's a pretty big one."
"Well," Maggie laughed, "I know nothing about fishing so I can only assume you did good."
Maggie high-fived her niece and ran back into the house. Her attention was drawn back to the man who was closing the trunk.
"Bailey looks good," Maggie commented, "I'm glad to see he's doing much better."
"Thanks," he nodded, "You okay?"
"Yeah," Maggie nodded once, "See you tomorrow."
She walked back to her car as he walked back into the house as the air lingered with tension.
"Your dad could live off fish for the rest of his life if he wanted to," Meredith laughed as she sat on her chair and watched him stand over the grill.
"You need to stop before I don't feed you," He turned to her playfully.
She scrunched her nose and shook her head as she took a sip of the wine he'd poured over for her.
"Salt," he called out as his faithful sous chef stood a few steps behind him.
"Salt," Ellis echoed as she passed the shaker to him.
Meredith couldn't help the laugh that escaped her at watching the pair. She turned to the grass plains where her eldest were throwing a softball to each other, "Bailey be careful please."
"Yes, Mom," he sighed begrudgingly, "I am."
They continued to throw the softball around as Ellis furrowed her brows. Her eyes wandered onto the start of what looked to soon become a treehouse. Her dad had started it a while back but he had stopped working on it. She had assumed that now that Bailey was better, he'd finish.
"Daddy?" Ellis asked. Her dad turned to look at her, "When are you going to finish my treehouse?"
Derek sighed as he looked up at the construction, "Well chances are that this week there won't be any rain so I think I can continue soon. Sorry it's taking so long."
Ellis hummed, "I want a big treehouse. One that I can play in forever."
Derek smirked as he turned to his wife. She raised her brows amusingly as she sipped her wine.
"Forever?" he asked, "You want to play in there forever?"
Ellis nodded. Her green eyes shimmered against the moonlight, "Mmhmm. I'm gonna go play with Zo and B. Can you tell me if you need more help?"
Derek chuckled, "Yeah, go."
The little girl ran down the stairs and joined her siblings. She was something else and her father knew it. It hadn't been intentional to just abandon the started construction on her treehouse. He had plans, big plans, for that house.
"You are wrapped around her finger," Meredith taunted from her chair.
Derek shook his head, "I am. You are just jealous."
Meredith contorted her face into a look of distaste, "I am. I'm jealous our daughter has all your attention."
"Like mother, like daughter," Derek chuckled, "She also gets jealous and needs my attention all the time."
She sighed contently as she leaned back comfortably in her seat and ran her fingers on the back of her scalp. It was a nice chilly night to be sitting on the porch as the warmth of the grill hit her. This was her favorite version of her husband. She loved Dr. Derek Shepherd, the surgeon, but Derek Shepherd, the dad and husband took the first place prize. He was always at ease, laughing, and joking around. Doing dorky dad things around the house and listening to the kids stories as if they were telling him the secret to living forever. And when she had him to herself, well, he was still McDreamy.
There went her thoughts again, wandering into indecent territory. She watched as his lips touched the base of the beer bottle, how his fingers loosely held it by the neck and how his body relaxed. If they were alone, she'd approach him, press her fingers on the back of his neck as her hands snuck into his sweater. He'd turn around and kiss her, forgetting what he was doing in the first place. His lips would wander down her neck and she'd taunt him allowingher hands to wander to his chest. They'd travel lower and lower until the reached his-
"You're doing it again."
Meredith shook her head from her fantasy, "Huh? Wha- what am I doing?"
"You're staring at me like you're thinking of indecent things," He turned to her with a smirk before glancing at the kids playing away from them. They had no clue what was happening, "And in front of the kids? You are terrible. Terrible influence."
"You're the one who brought out the wine," she retorted, "You're getting me drunk to take advantage of me all over again."
"Mm-mm," he disagreed, "That was you. You got me drunk and took advantage of me."
The twinkle of his eyes met her own. A promise of later. Definitely later.
"Alright guys, come eat!" he called out to where the children were playing. He turned to his wife and quietly added, "Before your mom eats something else."
Her eyes widened as she reached for a cushion and aimed for his face.
No fantasy could ever live up to the real thing. No matter what wild scenario she could come up with, it never lived up to his hands moving up her back as she moved above him. It didn't live up to his lips pressed against her neck and slowly made his way down between her legs. It didn't live up to actually making love to him.
They were pressed against each other with only a thin coat of sweat between them as she writhed against him. She bucked back and forth chasing release. She could feel his fingers reach between them until they softly petted her. A moan escaped her at the sense of overstimulation.
Meredith didn't know how long they'd been chasing but she felt safe. So safe wrapped in his arms as he let her take control. There was little she could control in life, but this? She could control this.
She could control how she touched him. How she moved with him inside her. How her lips languidly bit his and earning a moan of desire. How she coaxed a whimper from him when she let her hands wander into dangerous territory. How she chased and chased for a climax.
And now she desperately wanted to chase a climax. She needed it. They both needed it.
His hands found her waist and before she could realize, he was hovering over her as his lips found her collarbone. He nipped gently at her flesh as she welcomed him home.
She panted as his hips set a sensual pace, once more bringing her on the brink of ecstasy. She wrapped her legs around him until finally, finally, she shuddered in complete pleasure. He tightened his hold on her thigh and kept her in place, relishing the way she shattered right before him.
He kissed her again, chasing his own pleasure, until the tension snapped.
Derek found himself splayed on his back breathing heavily. He slowly turned his head to find a pair of hazy green eyes.
"Hey," he whispered tenderly. He reached to gently caress her jaw with this fingers.
Her mouth was slightly parted and she hazily blinked, "Hey."
Somehow, they pressed restart.
The weekend came and went far too quickly as Monday rolled around and brought them back to their daily duties.
Meredith looked up from her paperwork as the knocks on the door disturbed her, "Come in."
"Chief," Lucas greeted her with a thin grin as he closed the door behind her, "You wanted to see me before I joined the rest of the interns?"
Meredith motioned for him to sit across from her. He was still wearing his street clothes, but clearly, he was prepared to work.
"I did," she nodded as he sat, "I wanted to check in with you. It's your first time back in almost a month. And there was an accident-"
"I'm fine," he interrupted, "Shrink says I'm good to come back."
"Yeah, on paper you're fine. And if you were any other intern, I'd probably say you were. But you are not just another-"
"We agreed that we'd keep a line between-"
"I know," Meredith sighed, "But I know very well that keeping the personal from the professional in this hospital is not an easy thing. And-"
She paused.
"And?"
"I owe you an apology for yelling at you that night," she sighed, "And for not checking in with you as your chief or as your aunt."
"Thanks. I know things were crazy with Bailey," he fiddled with his bag, "How's he, uh, how's Bailey doing?"
"He's been back at school for a few weeks and had pizza this weekend," Meredith smiled, "He's getting better."
"The kid loves his pizza," Lucas smiled before frowning, "Listen, I didn't mean to just bounce and not talk to you guys. I just-"
"I know. I love your uncle but I'm aware he's an ass. You needed your space," she rolled her eyes, "I'm not justifying him- because he owes you a hell of an apology- but what I can tell you is that he was terrified. I know he was. This accident reminded him of a lot of things that he doesn't like to talk about-"
"His accident," Lucas nodded knowingly, "I remember. My mom called me saying it was a miracle he was alive."
"Yeah," Meredith nodded, "How do you feel? About coming back? Are you sure you're ready for the OR?"
"Yeah. I'm sure," he said confidently, "You still think I got what it takes? Should I still- I mean I literally stepped away for weeks."
"The goal of this new and improved program is to give interns the safe space they need to thrive. Had you come in any time earlier, your head would not be in the right place. I know that from experience," she giggled, "Besides, you don't have to prove to anyone but yourself that you have what it takes."
Lucas nodded appreciatively before standing.
"Bailey misses you," she called out, "He's been asking me to say hi and to get you to visit."
Lucas froze. He had bonded so much with the young boy over the last few months. In a world of sisters, he finally had a younger brother. Even with the other cousins, he never truly fit in with them. He was the black sheep. And despite the massive gap, he enjoyed having a younger brother. It must've been almost like what his uncle had felt years ago when he'd take him out to baseball games.
"Tell him I said hi," Lucas nodded, "Maybe I'll visit soon."
Meredith nodded as she watched the aspiring surgeon walk out of the office.
Shepherds. They were just as complicated as Greys.
Lucas swallowed as he stared at the attending by the nurse's station. He stepped forward and cleared his throat, "I'm on your service today, Dr. Shepherd."
Amelia swallowed and turned around, "Nice to have you on my service again, Dr. Adams."
"Glad to be on your service, Dr. Shepherd," he nodded as he followed her steps
"Good," Amelia smiled, "You talked to my brother yet."
"Can we talk about something else?"
"I'll take that as a no."
"Why are you concerned about it? If you want me out of the house just tell me"
"Oh no, I like having you around," Amelia smirked, "You help with my kid and help clean the house. It's nice having another adult around. Haven't had that since Maggie moved out."
Lucas sighed, "He doesn't want to talk to me. He's pissed off and he blames me for Bailey."
"He was a worried dad," Amelia looked at him, "You know him and his temper but you also know that he's protective and he's taken hits here in Seattle. Too many hits."
Lucas shook his head, "Still doesn't-."
"Dr. Adams," she looked at him sternly, "You are an intern. He is an attending and the director of this program. If you can't handle it, maybe you need to find another place to complete your residency."
"Okay you and I both know-"
"Exactly," Amelia nodded, "So make a choice now because he's right there."
"What?" Lucas' eyes practically bulged out of his eye sockets.
"Dr. Shepherd!" Amelia grinned as Derek stepped out of the room.
"Dr. Shepherd," Derek grinned back, "How's the world's most annoying sister?"
"Depends, how's the worst, most arrogant brother?"
Derek chuckled before making eye contact with Lucas, "Dr. Adams."
"Dr. Shepherd," Lucas dryly responded.
"Go run labs please," Amelia instructed before walking with her brother, "What was that?"
"What was what?" Derek looked around confused.
"You and Lucas," Amelia furrowed her brows, "Are you two ever going to-"
"Amy stay out of it-" He shook his head as he pressed his lips tightly. He couldn't talk to her about him. He couldn't talk to anyone yet.
"No!" she scoffed, "He is my nephew and you are my brother. I get you were scared but your son is fine. You didn't even check in on-"
"Stay out of it!"
"No! Get on top of it, Derek," Amelia hissed, "Before you lose the nephew who saw you as a God. You're pushing him away like you pushed me all those years ago-"
His phone ran and he looked down at it, "Shit-"
"Derek! Don't avoid this!"
"I'm not," he stuffed his phone in his pocket before removing his coat, "It's Ellis' school."
The Seattle rain echoed in the silence as Meredith and Derek sat in her black Audi. They'd been parked outside the school for over an hour now. It wasn't a date. It wasn't an escapade. It was a punishment. A terrible, terrible punishment for the two parents.
"We're terrible parents," Meredith mumbled as she shook her head, "We are genuinely the absolute worst parents."
Derek kept his eyes closed as he shook his head, "We are not terrible parents."
"The odds are against us," Meredith turned to him, "It's the third time we get called in for a behavior issue and this is her second."
Derek sighed as he opened his eyes, "She pushed another kid again. And yelled at the teacher? I don't get it. She loves her teacher, she always has. She's a little talkative but she's never had problems like these."
"You called it," Meredith shook her head, "We're raising monsters."
"We are not raising monsters," Derek scoffed, "She's not a monster. They are not monsters."
"I'm pretty sure they inherited your ability to deck people and my inability to control what I say," Meredith rambled, "And an unhealthy mix of our temper."
"Meredith," Derek sighed as he closed his eyes again.
"I'm just saying," she scoffed, "Your swimmers couldn't control genetics somehow? They couldn't send off the parts where they're all overly optimistic and all sunshiney? Override my dark and twisty?"
Derek laughed heartily, "I don't think it works that way. I don't think I get to choose."
Meredith sighed as she looked out the window, "What are we gonna do?"
"A couple of weeks ago, after the first incident, she came to me and asked if we still loved her," he turned to his wife who had a look of worry plastered on her face.
"She asked that? Why didn't you tell me earlier-"
"We were at each other's throats and barely speaking to each other," he shook his head, "Plus I thought this was her way of getting out of trouble from pushing someone off the swing the first time."
Meredith let a huff out as she slammed her head on the head seat.
Derek turned away once more, "I think she's feeling left out."
"Zola's panic attacks and Bailey's accident," Meredith agreed, "It's been a lot."
"Yeah," Derek shook his head, "We put out one fire, and another one bursts into flames. It never ends."
"You do know this is all your fault right?" Meredith smirked, "You're the one who wanted more. You made her a total daddy's girl and whenever she says 'jump' you say 'how high?'"
"I know the crash screwed with my head back then, but if I remember correctly," Derek cleared his throat, "You enjoyed it when I-"
"Derek!"
"Just saying," he chuckled as his eyes closed once more, "It takes two to tango. Besides, she's practically your clone. Stubborn as you."
"What are we gonna do?" Meredith whined, almost childlike.
"Probably start off by finishing that tree house."
"Why did you stop building the treehouse?" Meredith turned to him curiously.
"Bailey," He shrugged, "And the rain. It just hasn't stopped."
Meredith thought back to what Zola had mentioned. Bad things always happened to them. She just hoped this wouldn't be another one of those bad things.
"Do you think it'll end soon? Crisis after crisis?"
"I don't know," Derek pressed his lips together as he turned the engine on, "I don't know."
"Can't believe your kid is a scraper," Alex chuckled as he stuffed a mouthful of pasta into his mouth, "I always knew she'd be the trouble one."
"You are no help," Meredith rolled her eyes as she spotted Amelia approach the table, "Hey, where have you been?"
"Early surgery this morning," Amelia pulled a chair and sat across from her sister, "Do you know if Derek and Lucas-"
"Nope," Meredith shook her head, "I know nothing. But I do know that Lucas is coming back soon so-"
"Which is why you should probably talk to Derek-" Amelia
"That's exactly why I'm not going to talk to Derek," she scoffed, "I already said what I needed to say about it. I can't get in the middle of their personal weird thing they've got going on."
"About what?" Maggie asked as she sat at the table. She noticed the awkward looks between each person, "Oh. This is a Derek thing and no one wants to talk about it because we're still not talking."
"Yeah, what the hell happened there?" Amelia shook her head.
"Derek's ego was bruised when I told Mer he was going easy on Lucas," Maggie stuffed her mouth with a forkful of salad. Her look told Amelia she was expecting her to side with her.
"Well, why the hell would you do that?" Amelia scoffed.
"Amelia, leave her alone," Meredith shook her head, "She had concerns as an attending. Not as a relative."
"You really think he was going easy on Adams?" Karev furrowed his brows together, "I mean the kid needs work but Shepherd's been on top of it, you know before he nearly punched him in the face."
"Am I the only one here that thinks they need more than a little work?" Maggie stared at the people at the table.
"They are interns, Maggie. Lucas is an intern, we all started somewhere," Amelia glared at her, "It's not like Winston when he was your-"
"That's not fair and you know it," Maggie rebutted.
"Great, this is why I came back? To hear the sister chiefs bicker?" Alex groaned.
"No!" Meredith shook her head, "You came back because this hospital needs you."
Amelia jumped in, "And you need to talk to your brother and my nephew."
"No, I'm not getting involved anymore," Meredith pointed, "He'll just have to deal with Adams on his own. I'm staying out of it!"
Amelia groaned, "Meredith-"
"I'm just saying, we've reached a point in our marriage where we pick and choose our battles," Meredith turned back, "And I know my husband so I am choosing not to battle this one. He has to be the one to talk to Lucas, I can't force him."
"What do you mean pick and choose battles?" Maggie asked.
"Some fights aren't worth the constant fighting and I know that if I try, it'll be a fight. A big one," Meredith turned to Amelia, "So I guess you have to talk to him."
Amelia tapped on the table as she stared at Meredith. Clearly she wouldn't intervene.
"This is a Shepherd problem, Shepherdess," Meredith grabbed her water bottle and stood, "Either you help him or he figures it out on his own."
Meredith turned quickly and smirked, "Which he won't."
"Please tell me there's dinner ready!" Meredith sighed as she closed the door behind her.
Derek laughed from the kitchen, "Roasted chicken."
"Oh, that looks delicious," she leaned in for a quick kiss as she heard footsteps run in from the hall, "Hey, guys, how was school?"
She eyed her youngest knowingly. Ellis sat before the other two rambled.
"I got an A on the project Zo helped me on while I was out," Bailey beamed.
"Way to go, Bailey!" Meredith smiled proudly, "Did you have any pain today? Uncle Alex said he's close to giving you the okay for sports again."
"No pain," Bailey nodded.
"Zo? What about you? Everything okay?"
"I'm okay," she sighed, "But math was kind of boring today."
Ellis sat at her usual spot in the kitchen bar.
"No episodes?" Meredith asked.
Zola shook her head, "Dad should I set the table?"
As Derek nodded appreciatively, Meredith turned back to her youngest, "What about you Ellie? Aside from your earlier incident, how was the rest of your day?"
"Fine," Ellis muttered as she placed her chin on her hand. Maybe Derek was right, she was too much like her. Meredith didn't push any further. Instead, she leaned over and tucked a stray hair behind her ear.
"Ellis, what did you do?" Bailey asked curiously.
"Nothing," Ellis muttered again, "I don't want to talk about it right now."
Meredith sighed "Well we do need to talk about it before bed-"
She turned to Derek who was pretending to be oblivious to their conversation as he picked up a plate to take the table. She gently nudged him.
"Right," Derek quickly added, "We do need to talk about it."
"What did she do?" Zola quietly asked as Derek reached the dinner table. He shook his head and returned to where the rest of the family was at.
"We need to talk to you guys about something," Derek announced.
"What happened?" Zola quickly followed him. Derek heard the nervousness in her voice and quickly turned to embrace her.
"Nothing's wrong, princess," he assured her, "We're okay. Everyone's okay, I promise."
Meredith leaned on the counter and smiled, "Everything is good, Zo."
"So good in fact, we were thinking about taking a trip to Boston and New York in a few weeks," Derek smiled, "What do you guys think?"
Zola carefully eyed her parents. She knew what that meant. It meant that there were two schools they had liked and were offering her a chance to tour them.
Every adult around her knew they were trying to give her the best options they could, but her siblings had no idea what was truly happening. All they knew was that Zola needed to find a school that helped her. What worried her was how her siblings would react. At her young age, Zola had always been caring for them. She took her job as an older sister very seriously. In fact, many would say she had taken it a little too seriously. Especially in the last several years when her mother had health complications and thins seemed to take a turn for the worse.
"That sounds like fun," Bailey smiled, "Would Uncle Alex be okay with me going since the surgery-"
"He said you'd be clear to go by the time we fly out," Mer smiled, "And your dad promised ferry boat rides, too."
"Wait! Bailey, we're going on the ones he used to take when he was a kid!" Zola grinned excitedly.
"Are we gonna see Nana when we're out in New-"
"No!" a small voice croaked.
"Ellis?" Meredith asked, "Are you okay?"
"No! I'm not going and you can't make me!" Ellis yelled as she ran towards the doors leading to the porch.
"Ellis, it's freezing come back in!" Meredith called out as both parents chased after her, "Ellis!"
Zola and Bailey watched as they ran after their sister.
"What's her problem?" Bailey turned to his older sister.
"I don't know but grab Dad's coat," Zola walked toward the coat rack, "I got mom and Ellis'. Grab yours too!"
She had been too quick for them. Years of climbing on trees had paid off as she made her way to the foundation of a future treehouse her father had finished weeks ago. She climbed up onto the unfinished treehouse and held on to the bark with both hands.
"Ellis you need to get off," Derek pleaded, "Please! It's not safe, it's not finished!"
"I know it isn't!" she yelled out, "It's not finished because you stopped building it! You promised me you'd finish it and you never did!"
"Ellis, you need to climb off the tree," Meredith tried.
"Ellis, there was a lot going on, with Bailey and Zola-" Derek tried to explain.
Zola and Bailey walked out of the house with their coats on. Zola had one for Ellis.
"Ellis, c'mon I brought your coat-" Zola tried.
"Zola, Zola, Zola!" Ellis yelled, "Bailey, Bailey, Bailey! It's always Zola or Bailey! No one ever thinks about me!"
"Ellie that's not true baby-" Derek tried to reason.
"NO!" she yelled before peering to see the four of them staring up at her.
Meredith sighed and shook her head, "Ellie-Belle, please-"
"No!" Ellis yelled again, "We're not going to New York to see Nana or ride ferryboats! We're going because you want to move and you want to move us away from our home! That's why you stopped building my treehouse!"
"Ellis!"
"You want to move for Zola! That's why you want to go to New York and Boston! She gets to choose everything!"
"Wait, what does she mean?" Bailey turned to his parents.
"I heard them, I heard them!" Ellie shouted, "Mom said Zola needed a new school and Dad said yes!"
Bailey looked between each of his parents and then to his older sister, "Zola I thought you said- that's not fair! Why didn't you tell me! Nobody ever tells me anything!"
Zola swallowed before turning to her parents, "See? This is why I didn't even want to look anywhere else!"
Zola turned angrily and ran back to the house.
"Zola!" Meredith tried to call for her to no avail, "Bailey!"
"Why didn't you tell me?" Bailey asked as he turned to his dad, "You should've told me."
"Bailey-?" Derek tried only to be met with defeated eyes. Bailey turned away and ran to the house- the same trail his sister had just ran after, "Bailey slow down you can't-!"
They watched as he ran to the house as quick as his legs could carry him. He was angry, so angry he had yelled. He never yelled. He had never been the kind of kid to throw tantrums or to burst out with anger. Until he punched a kid at school for Zola's sake and now. When he found out his parents were hiding something.
"Ellis Carolyn Grey Shepherd, you need to get off that tree right now!" Derek called as he turned back to the treehouse.
"Derek, go inside with the kids," Meredith sighed as she covered her face with a hand. He turned to her, questioning her, "We've got three fires, go put out those. I got this one."
Derek sighed before eyeing the foundation of the treehouse. He turned back to the house and jogged to the door.
"Okay," Meredith shuffled the small jacket in her arms before tossing it to the foundation where her daughter hid. She sat on the floor by the tree, "Put it on. I'm gonna sit right here and when you're ready, we can talk."
A/N: Well, I mean it couldn't all be fluff...
After the storm, comes a calm. But there's also some damage that needs to be addressed. This is a Grey-Shepherd family story, and a lot of the damage is within.
One big note I got was more Meredith and Ellis scenes and I agree! They are needed!
I think it's also safe to say that we are officially handing off the spotlight to our youngest Grey Shepherd. It's her time to shine!
Regarding her name, I was shocked to find out Meredith named her Ellis that when I started writing I thought about Derek's reaction. He would hate it but if they found middle ground with the middle name, perhaps he'd be okay with it. So we named her after Momma Shepherd.
Ellis Carolyn Grey-Shepherd has some feelings. Big ones.
Thanks for reading! And for your patience! I look forward to what you think! See you on the next one...don't know when but hopefully soon.