Ramen Doodles
By Andrew J. Talon
Disclaimer: I do not and probably never will own Naruto or any other copyrighted works mentioned in this story. I am not writing this for profit.
Author's Note: When I have writer's block, I often write a lot of random snippets of ideas, omakes, and continuations of other author's ideas that kind of petered out. As I'm afflicted with a bit of writer's block regarding Key Through the Heart (again), I've decided I'm not going to leave you guys in the lurch. Therefore, enjoy some writing I've been doing over at The Fanfiction Forum.
Here's some more of the Star Trek 2009/Naruto fusion idea, which MandalorianJedi wrote a significant part of. Enjoy!
Ino pressed her ear bud, and frowned. She hit a few controls, sorting through the various signal noises to zero in on her quarry. "Captain, we're getting a distress signal."
"From who?" ask Iruka concernedly.
"Van Maanen 3, Vulcan colony. It is a general distress call, but it is Class 1."
This meant a planetary level disaster.
"Van Maanen 3?" asked Itachi in alarm. Iruka raised an eyebrow at this.
"What do you know about the colony, Number One?" questioned Iruka. While Itachi showed more emotions than any other Vulcan, full-blooded or half- Hinata excluded, Iruka knew, it wasn't like the Commander to lose his cool.
"Van Maanen 3 isn't just your typical Vulcan colony... While it does consist primarily of Vulcans, the majority of the population are Uchiha... My mother is there as we speak, visiting relatives," Itachi explained.
"Miss Yamanaka, relay this message to Starfleet Command. We are answering the colony's distress call. Ask for all available starships in the area to be diverted to the Van Maanen system." He looked at Hinata. "Miss Hyuuga, plot a course for the system. Mr. Sai, as soon as that's done, head for the colony, maximum warp."
"Aye, Captain," could be heard from three different locations across the bridge.
"Neji," Iruka said turning to his head to the Officer/Student Liaison, and also the most skilled Science Officer on board, "I need you on our long range scanners to see what you can find out about what's going on before we get there."
"It will be done, Captain," Neji complied dutifully.
Iruka smiled at Itachi. "Number One, prepare the ship for full emergency response."
Itachi looked a bit shaken, but nodded as he composed himself, the mask of a proper Vulcan put in place. "I shall alert the Major to prepare her men for search and rescue," said Itachi emotionlessly. "Captain... I request to join the team."
Iruka hesitated for a moment. "Granted, just don't do anything stupid down there."
"Yes sir," Itachi as he stood and exited the bridge.
"He isn't turning into his younger brother, is he?" Ino commented.
"He's dealing with things the best he can, Miss Yamanaka," Iruka explained to her with a scolding glance. Ino looked sheepish and felt a bit guilty for her comment. Iruka's expression softened. "He's barely holding it together right now and is looking for a way to bury his emotions."
"It is the Vulcan way," Neji commented, with just the tiniest bit of pride detectable in his voice.
"It's stupid... That's what Naruto would say," replied Hinata in a rare showing of boldness. She was typically very polite and soft spoken. "One shouldn't bury their emotions, emotions is part of what makes us who we are."
Neji's face slightly reddened at the mention of Naruto and he scoffed at her words. "Spoken like a true failed member of both the Hyuuga Clan and the Vulcan race. Only through discipline, control and logical reasoning can one achieve true purpose and meaning of one's self. Your… Friend is nothing more than an illogical, imbecilic fool."
"That's enough, Mr. Hyuuga," Iruka said flatly.
Hinata's face was red, and for once it wasn't from embarrassment or shy nervousness, but anger. She didn't care of what Neji or the rest of the Clan thought of her, but Naruto strived to be the best he could and while he could be brash, unruly and rude, he was never vindictive or judgmental nor did he go out of his way to insult others in an overly harsh manner. Despite his cocky, hotshot attitude most of the time, he had a kind and gentle heart. She could not stand it, hated it even, when others put him down for simply being who he was and not what they wanted him to be.
Nothing more, nothing less.
The Konoha rumbled around them as the vessel accelerated.
Iruka bit back a sigh.
The security station beeped a loud warning.
"SIR! There has been a phaser discharge in the kitchen! Storeroom A!" Cadet Rock Lee shouted as he stood at attention. "Your orders sir?"
His loud voice echoed around the rather compact bridge.
"Who of our security forces are in the immediate area?" Iruka asked in alarm. 'This is just getting better and better...'
"Sasuke Uchiha, he just left the kitchens and was making his way back to Security," reported Lee after he punched a few more buttons on his console.
"Contact him and have him return to the kitchens as a first response," ordered Iruka. "If nothing else, he could provide a presence until we can get a full team down there. Tell him not to engage any hostiles in the area unless absolutely necessary."
"Yes sir!" Lee responded loudly.
Lee cheerfully relayed the information.
Sasuke Uchiha stood in front of the door to Storeroom A. No one in the kitchen seemed to be even aware there was a situation. However, what made him instantly suspicious was the absence of two crew members he had laid eyes upon before he left just minutes prior.
The Head Cook, the El-Aurian- or "Listener" as they were more commonly called- Ayame Ichiraku, and the strangely familiar new girl named Naruko. Whatever was going on here, he was certain it was them who were behind it all.
It was the only logical explanation.
However, before he could investigate further, the door opened up and he was brought face to face with someone who, more often than not, defied all logic. Naruto Uzumaki. Of course, as soon as he gazed upon the face of his rival, he finally put together why the strange new girl was strangely familiar to him in the first place. The whisker marks should have been a dead giveaway.
Naruko was Naruto, Naruto was Naruko.
It was the only logical conclusion.
But it was impossible, as Naruko's dimensions did not quite fit Naruto. A holographic disguise could have been possible, except Sasuke had physically touched her when he pushed passed Naruko as he left and what he felt was most decidedly female. There was also the fact that Naruto wasn't carrying a holographic projector anywhere on his person.
Yes, as usual, and once again, Naruto Uzumaki had defied all logic.
There was a tense silence for a moment, before Naruto spoke.
"Sasuke! Umm... So... What brings you to this neck of the woods?" Naruto asked nervously.
Sasuke quirked an eyebrow.
"One could ask you the same thing." Sasuke was also careful to note the hole in the front of Naruto's shirt, the edges of which looked to have been burn by a phaser beam.
"You know... It's funny you should mention that..." Naruto said while scratching the back of his head.
"Really?" Sasuke asked. "I fail to see the humor in stowing away."
"You fail to see the humor in a lot of things..." Naruto muttered with a scowl.
"What happened here, and how did you get aboard this ship?"
Naruto grinned. "Can you keep a secret?"
Sasuke quirked an eyebrow, as if he was affronted by Naruto's question. When Naruto didn't answer, he reluctantly replied, "Yes..."
"So can I," Naruto stated, chuckling at his own joke. Sasuke, it appeared, didn't find the slightest bit of humor in it at all.
"As Chief of Security, I'm placing you under arrest for stowing away," Sasuke said. "You will come with me."
"And here I thought you'd be happy to see me..." said Naruto with a frown. "I get my phone call, right?"
Sasuke decided to ignore Naruto, and stood back a bit. "Cadet Uzumaki. Come with me."
"All right, all right... Sheesh... You could be a bit nicer you know..." Naruto complained. "And aren't you supposed to read me my rights or somethin'?"
"Are there any you are not aware of?" Sasuke replied blandly.
"Humor me," Naruto smirked in a way that he was sure would infuriate his pointy eared rival.
Ignoring Naruto for the moment, Sasuke looked over at Ayame. "Miss Ichiraku, what happened here?"
Ayame looked startled for a moment and then began to think quickly to formulate an answer. "U-Um... I..."
"She shot me because she thought I was an intruder," Naruto quickly covered.
"You are an intruder," Sasuke replied in a slightly accusing tone. "Miss Ichiraku, if you suspected he was an intruder, why did you not inform me immediately?"
"Well... I wanted to talk to this intruder first," Ayame said. "Try to find out who or what she or he was."
"You are not Security Forces, you are not even Starfleet Personnel," Sasuke admonished her. "You're lucky this intruder was both non-hostile and incompetent. Next time you might not be so lucky."
"Hey, who are you calling incompetent?" Naruto demanded. "I am, after all, number one in class. If I'm incompetent, what does that make you, Mr. Number 2?"
Naruto had the pleasure of seeing Sasuke's right eye twitch ever so slightly. Those stuck-up Vulcan bastards were supposed to be so stoic and emotionless all the time that Naruto couldn't help but try to rile them up now and again.
Sasuke flipped out his communicator. "Captain, I have the intruder. I am taking him to the brig."
"Sasuke... I thought I ordered you not to engage the potential hostile unless absolutely necessary?" asked Iruka with a slightly combative tone.
"I found it to be very necessary, Captain," Sasuke said, turning the communicator camera to view Naruto.
"Naruto?" Iruka groaned. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"Well... You see... It's funny you should ask that..." Naruto replied scratching his head.
"I fail to see the humor in stowing away, Naruto," Iruka scolded his favorite student.
"Odd," Sasuke spoke up, "I believe had similar sentiments."
"Well, I kind of needed to talk to you, Captain," Naruto explained. "About the hearing..."
"Naruto, I don't have time for this..." Iruka sighed tiredly. "I'll chat with you later."
"B-But...!" Naruto began to protest.
"Later." Iruka sternly told him as he cut the link.
"Dammit..." Naruto cursed.
Sasuke waited expectantly for Naruto to start moving.
"What!"
"I'm escorting you to the brig," replied Sasuke.
Naruto could feel something odd in the feel of the ship. They were going faster.
"What's going on?" Naruto asked.
"I do not know," Sasuke said.
"Don't know, or don't care?"
"Since there is no change in my current duties, there is nothing for me to be concerned about," replied Sasuke, "Now, are you coming to the brig peacefully, or am I going to have to drag you there?"
"You can't be serious!" declared Naruto.
"Cadet Lieutenant, Naruto, please," Ayame pleaded for the boys to quit their bickering.
"I'm just doing my duty, Miss Ichiraku. The Captain is well aware of where I intend to take you, Naruto, and he said nothing about alternate accommodations, so one can only assume that when he's free to speak with you, he will do so from the opposite side the force field of your holding cell."
"C'mon, tell me what's going on?" Naruto asked pleadingly.
"Let's get going, now, or must I physically move you?"
"Err..." Naruto growled. "If I decided to go peacefully, you'll tell me everything you know?"
Sasuke gave an uncharacteristic sigh. "Fine."
Naruto and Sasuke then left the storage room and removed themselves from the mess decks. When they finally made it to the passageway, Naruto turned to Sasuke. "Now, tell me, what the hell is going on?"
"I do not know," replied Sasuke.
"Oh, c'mon!" Naruto complained in outrage, "You said you'd tell me everything you know!"
"No, I said I'd tell you everything I know about the current situation," corrected Sasuke. "Apart from your part in it, I don't know anything."
"We seem to be moving much faster than before," Ayame commented, following the two cadets.
"If it were anything for any of us to be concerned with, we would be informed by the Captain, Miss Ichiraku," replied Sasuke sternly. "Now it would be best if resumed your duties."
"But I have a very, um... Unusual feeling about the situation," Ayame said.
"Then perhaps you should be resting in your quarters, I am not going to change my decision of arresting Cadet Uzumaki based on 'unusual feelings'," admonished Sasuke. "To do so would be illogical."
"Yes Lieutenant," Ayame sighed. "Just a note: There's no need for you to state something is or isn't logical every single time." She smiled playfully. "Is not logic self-evident?"
"Perhaps, for most," replied Sasuke evenly, but then his eyes cut briefly to Naruto. "Others, however, have no sense of it, whatsoever."
Ayame giggled, while Naruto gasped in astonishment.
"S-Sasuke... Did you... Did you just tell your first joke!" Naruto exclaimed. "This calls for a celebration! Ayame, break out some bottles of Romulan Ale!"
"Even if I were so inclined to celebrate with you, I would not, because not only is Romulan Ale illegal, but I am also on duty," Sasuke rebuked Naruto.
"Just a joke, Sasuke," Naruto said with an easy grin. "You are familiar with-"
One of the screens on the wall flickered to life, and the image of Hinata Hyuuga appeared, her hands politely folded.
"I've got a bad feeling about this..." Ayame mumbled, all amusement leaving her face.
"Attention all hands, this is Navigator Hinata Hyuuga," she said. "We have been diverted to the Van Maanen colony in response to a Priority One alert. Commander Uchiha will be coordinating preparation efforts for evacuation and disaster relief efforts."
At the mention of the colony, Sasuke's eyes widened a small fraction, but his otherwise detached expression remained largely unchanged. However, despite this, Naruto still noticed.
In the background of the bridge, Ino had the distress call buzzing on her speakers.
And the interference... The sound and feeling of it reached out to Naruto. His memory was called back to the flashback he had just been through.
"According to our readings," Hinata continued, "The Priority One Emergency is being cause by some sort of accumulative chakra distortion several miles above the planet's surface. At the current time, it is impossible to determine the cause or source of the disturbance, so our ship is to rendezvous with a small task force to handle the situation."
Naruto shook his head, the terrible thought crystallizing in a moment. "It's a trap..."
Naruto turned to head for the bridge.
"Where do you think you're going?" Sasuke asked.
"The bridge," Naruto answered. "We're headed into a trap."
"And what makes you think that?" asked Sasuke.
"Just call it a hunch," replied Naruto.
"I don't think so," said Sasuke as he drew his phaser. "You've wasted enough time. I won't have you disrupting anyone else's duties more than you already have."
Naruto cursed. "Fine... We'll do it your way..."
Satisfied, Sasuke holstered his phaser.
"Cadet Lt, was that really necessary?" Ayame asked. Sasuke turned to answer her, but before he could say anything in his defense, Naruto attacked with a powerful double axe handle to the back of Sasuke's head, forcing the Uchiha's knees to buckle and sending him head first into the bulkhead.
"Naruto!" shouted Ayame, as she jumped back from the duo. Unfortunately for Naruto, the security team that was to back up Sasuke arrived just then.
Naruto turned and sprinted down the corridor as fast as he could.
"Stun him!" Shouted one of the security officers.
Naruto felt, rather than heard or saw the phaser of one of the Security officers being raised to shoot him in the back as he ran down the passageway. The phaser beam screamed in the corridor, seemingly hitting Naruto in the back.
POOF!
Once the smoke cleared, they saw it was one of their comrades lying in the place where Naruto should have been, much to their own confusion.
Ayame looked behind them and couldn't help her smile.
"YAH!" shouted Naruto as he flat-palm-struck an officer in the back of the head, while sending a kick into the side of another. Taking them quite by surprise, it wasn't hard for Naruto with his advanced hand to hand combat training to completely dismantle the security team in mere seconds.
Naruto turned around and grinned at Ayame. "Not bad huh?"
She merely shook her head at Naruto, as she was the only one who saw the surprised look on his face when he replaced himself with the other security officer. He was just lucky that he was the first to recover from his shock before they realized he was right behind them.
Naruto shrugged and ran for the turbolift as Sasuke began to get up.
"All sections, intruder alert!" Sasuke shouted into his communicator.
Naruto dove into the turbolift and skidded to a halt. "Bridge!" He ordered the computer, and it went up at high speed.
Sasuke cursed himself, because he knew he was already too late.
Well, people keep asking for me to put up more for this story, so like the review whore I am-Er, I mean, the... Lover of positive feedback I am, I posted it up! Sadly, for now there are no more chapters, and won't be until MandalorianJedi returns from wherever he's gone. But I'm going to set out on an epic quest to find him so we can get more written up. Stay tuned!