Hello again!

I know it's been a long time and I'm very sorry! starting off this new school year has destroyed my brain! Last year I was teaching grade 4 and I was able to go home feeling basically human. this year I'm teaching kindergarten and I'm lucky if I can strong two words together by the end of the day! I'm suffering from some major decision fatigue, spending all day deciding what tiny humans should be doing, so I'm finding it hard to come home and decide what fictional humans are supposed to be doing.

I promise you I know where this story is going and I WILL finish it. It may take me a little longer than I thought, but it will get done. Bear with me, lovely people!!

I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

BPOV

It was the first Monday back at school after Thanksgiving. My department had finished our meeting and I was trying to concentrate on the poems my students had submitted for review, but I was distracted. I'd read the same line from a senior's draft verse about the isolation she felt when surrounded by her family over the holidays several times.

Edward had his first workshop with the Music Composition students today and I'd found it hard to stay focused all afternoon, knowing he was in the school. He'd arrived during lunch for a meeting with Heidi. I only saw him briefly in the staffroom where he was meeting up with Ryan, the music teacher he was working with. I was heating up my container of leftovers and quickly reassured him everything would be fine before he and Ryan headed off to set up the room they were using.

My leg kept bouncing, making my chair sound like a cricket was trapped and chirping under my desk. It was a good thing I was alone in the faculty office because it would have driven everyone crazy.

Usually, I'd have left already, too. But I was waiting for Edward. Our Monday night group wasn't meeting again until next week, so Esme invited me over for dinner to celebrate Edward's first foray into teaching.

I was genuinely touched Esme wanted to include me, yet a small part of me worried that she would use tonight as an opportunity to question me about the secret I was keeping from her son. It's not like I thought Edward wouldn't want to know, or shouldn't know. Putting off telling him was a selfish decision, and I didn't particularly want to explain to Esme how self-interested I was being.

"Knock knock," Edward's voice interrupted my vacant introspection.

My neck almost cracked my head whipped around so fast. By the time I faced him, the smile was already plastered on my face.

He looked amazing, leaning against the door to the English faculty like a teacher's wet dream. He was wearing a blue button-up with a black skinny tie, under a brown, vintage waistcoat. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, making his crossed arms look quite muscular, and his crossed legs look incredibly long in his slim-fit, black trousers.

"Hey," I said, trying not to sound dazzled. "How did it go?"

Edward pushed off the doorframe and came to sit in the desk chair beside me. He crossed one ankle over his knee and leaned his head back against the chair.

"It was good, but I don't know how you do that every day. That may have just been an hour, but I swear, that was the most stressful hour of my life." He rolled his head to look at me with a playfully serious glint in his eye. "Teenagers are scary."

I couldn't help but laugh at his expression. "Oh, man. Did they eat you alive?"

It was true that no one could sniff out and exploit your weaknesses like a disgruntled teenager. If they wanted to, they could rip you to shreds, leaving you stunned as a stream of flashbacks to your own time in high school play on repeat in your mind.

Edward sighed. "They were all pretty good, actually. There was just a lot of them. Six more kids joined last minute. They apparently forgot to sign up before the break because of some concert, so it was just a lot more of them than I expected."

I could well imagine the students he was talking about. Only seniors were allowed to take Edward's workshop this time, and the majority of the music composition students had signed up as soon as it was announced. I also knew the show-choir performances were the only concerts before Thanksgiving, so that narrowed the possible students down. I doubted they were interested until they saw Edward coming into the school at lunch.

"And Heidi authorized that?" I shook my head. That woman was always playing favorites.

"Well, she said it was fine because both she and Ryan were always in the room," he shrugged. That sounded exactly like something Heidi would do. "But they were really all great kids to work with. Really smart, and creative, and they ask so many questions! A few even stayed back and we had a little QA. A couple pressed me about the new game and I had to explain the kinds of NDAs they'd have to abide by if they had a job like mine," Edward chuckled.

He was trying to hide it, but he was pleased with himself. I was proud of him, myself. It was hard to earn the respect of a room full of seventeen and eighteen-year-olds.

"Is that where you've been all this time? Regaling in their admiration," I teased.

Edward shot me a playful glare, though his smirk still graced his face. "Haha. No. Heidi wanted to have a meeting to check in with how I think I did, and to offer me any guidance if I feel I need it."

I rolled my eyes. "Of course she did."

"The worst part was that she sat in the seat next to me, not in her chair on her side of the desk. Kept touching my arm, too. Nothing unprofessional, just way too often."

"Don't worry. That's just her thing with handsome men. Jasper is always trying to duck out of rooms when she walks in. She'll even go up to him in the middle of the staffroom, in front of everyone."

Edward was suddenly smirking at me with his lopsided smile. "Did you just call me handsome?" he asked with a gleam in his eye.

I froze. My mind raced back over my words. "I- well- I mean- I meant attractive. Like, attractive people, men, as an objective construct," I sputtered as my face reddened. "And, come on, Edward. You know you're an attractive man." By the time I was finally able to stop the word vomit that expelled from me as I scrambled to cover my ass, my blush must have been crimson.

Edward's response was to laugh. "Breath, Bella," he chuckled. "I understand that I am an attractive man, you know, as an objective construct. I just hope she's not going to insist on a private sit-down meeting in her office after every lesson. If she does it again on Friday, I will need you to come rescue me."

"I promise to be your knight in shining armor and save you from the big scary cougar," I smiled drolly, relieved he had skated over my words and saved me from more embarrassment. "Though I have to warn you, nothing much discourages the tenacious Mrs Hunt."

"Then we'll just have to make our escape before she gets her claws into me," he joked with a wink. "Speaking of, are you ready to go?"

I nodded, quickly gathering my belongings, and braced myself for whatever might be awaiting me at Edward's house.

~oOo~

Esme was preparing something on the island bench in the kitchen when we arrived. The whole house smelled delicious, like something rich and decadent was cooking, and it only got stronger the closer we got to the kitchen.

"There you two are!" she said excitedly when we walked through the arched doorway. "I was wondering how long you were going to be."

Edward rolled his eyes at me before his mother rushed over and pulled him into a warm embrace. Esme then released him and turned to hug me, before taking my arm gently and steering me towards the kitchen.

"Come in, come in. I just finished putting together the cheese board, so I can get you both a glass of wine and you can both relax, while you can tell me all about your workshop this afternoon, Edward." It was at times like this I could see where Alice got her… inquisitive demeanor.

Esme gestured for us to sit at the breakfast table, where three wine glasses and a platter of different cheeses, scattered with crackers and a few small bundles of red grapes, were waiting. Edward and I sat as Esme followed us with a bottle of wine she retrieved from the kitchen.

"So, tell me everything," she said as she poured wine into our glasses and handed them to us.

"It was good," Edward said, sipping his wine and sitting back in his chair. "There were more students than I'd been told before, so I had to change a few things on the fly."

"How many were in the class?"

"There were only eighteen," he brushed off.

"There were only meant to be twelve," I reminded him, before taking a drink from my glass to stop any of my other thoughts on the situation from coming out of my mouth. It wasn't Edward's fault that Heidi was a manipulative fiend.

Esme looked a little appalled at that news. "That's fifty per cent more than you expected, Edward!"

"It was fine," Edward insisted. "They were all seniors and really well-behaved. They all worked hard and came up with some great ideas. I think the rest of the workshop will go well."

That seemed to placate his mother. "So, they enjoyed it then? They liked you?"

Edward nodded. "They seemed to."

I was able to suppress the snort that wanted to come out, but I couldn't stop the smirk. From what he said, it sounded like they liked him a lot. "Everyone in the room loved him," I mumbled, leaning over to grab a few grapes and pop them in my mouth.

His raised eyebrow was a clear request for me to stop, but his crooked grin told me he was still amused. Esme, however, was more intrigued.

"What is it?"

I didn't know how his mother would feel about the Principal's obvious flirting with her son, and I didn't want to make out that Edward couldn't take care of himself when it came to the overtures of women. But it would be easy to tease him over a few school-girl crushes.

"He had a little fan club stick around after the end of school," I said innocently to Esme. I saw Edward purse his lips out of the corner of my eye. It seemed he'd prefer if his mother didn't know that.

"They wanted to ask more questions about the game I'm working on, but when I told them I wasn't allowed to talk about it, they left," he explained matter of factly.

"Except…" I continued leadingly.

Edward sighed. "There were some that had other questions for me. They wanted to know more about alternative careers within the music industry."

"And I'm guessing that those kids were Jayden Vong and the other girls from Show Choir, who joined the workshop late?"

Esme's head had been bouncing back and forth between Edward and me like a tennis ball. 'What's wrong with Jayden Vong and the show choir girls?" she asked, invested like it was a soap opera.

"Oh, nothing," I said, suddenly a little embarrassed by our teasing banter in front of her. "I'm only joking because it sounds like a few of the students had some crushes, and I knew exactly who they were without him even telling me."

"They did not!" Edward harrumphed.

"So, Jayden Vong and the show choir girls were the fan club," Esme said knowingly. "Good for you, Darling," she added, leaning over to pat his arm.

"Geez, Mom," Edward groaned, embarrassed.

"What?! I think it's cute," she teased. "I can't blame them for being besotted with my handsome boy."

"No one could blame them," I continued, trying to keep a straight face. "They're a horde of hormonal teens and you are, by your own admission, an objectively attractive man."

Edward threw both his hands up in the air in exasperation. "Would you two quit it!"

Esme and I both laughed, enjoying making him uncomfortable. Edward was actually incredibly easy to rile up and it brought out my worst 'younger sister' tendencies.

The ringing of Edward's phone interrupted our friendly taunting. "Saved by the bell," he sighed as he fished the device out of his pocket and looked at the screen. "Oh. I actually need to take this, sorry," he apologized.

"Don't worry, Darling," Esme said as he stood from the table. "You take care of that and Bella can help me with the last few things for dinner."

"Okay, thanks," Edward smiled as he stood from the table, shooting me a look that told me to behave around his mother while he was gone.

When he was gone, Esme turned to me with a warm smile. "Come dear. You can make a green salad while I mash the potatoes."

"What did you make?" I asked as I followed her over to the kitchen island, watching while she pulled out vegetables from the fridge.

"Beef bourguignon," she answered, placing the salad green on the bench by a cutting board. "It's one of Carlisle's favorites and it became a family staple for special occasions or cold weekends in winter."

"It smells delicious," I complimented, beginning to pull apart the butter lettuce and endives. She thanked me and went about getting everything she needed for the mashed potatoes.

Esme and I worked in companionable silence for a few moments as she put boiled potatoes through a ricer and I washed the lettuce leaves.

After a few minutes, Esme broke the silence. "I take it you haven't talked to him about January thirtieth?" she asked cautiously, her tone even. "I don't mean to pry. It's just that he hasn't brought it up to me at all and, well, you are both quite cheerful tonight."

I sincerely doubted Esme didn't mean to pry. Though I knew it came from a place of caring, no matter how bothersome it could be. I took a moment to collect myself, carefully laying the green leaves out individually on a towel to dry.

"No, I…" I paused, unsure of the best way to explain my selfish motives that wouldn't make Esme think less of me. "I haven't been able to. Not yet."

"Whatever it is that is holding you back, I'm sure Edward would understand."

I frowned to myself. Edward understanding the situation was the last thing I wanted. But I knew I needed to explain my reasoning to Esme somehow. I'd thought of little else since discovering the latest coincidence between my sister and me. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to keep it to myself.

"It's not that I think he wouldn't understand," I said slowly, concentrating on the cucumber I was slicing. "I, um… I guess I'm being… self-preserving. Before I found out about Maria, I'd never really had to share anything. I'd been a younger sister, but I'd been entirely my own person. Now, I'm hard-pressed to find something we don't share.

"That day, my grief for my son, it's only ever belonged to me. Well, me and Jake. I'm not…ready to share it with her yet," I finished. A vulnerable feeling washed over me. Admitting a part of the truth felt like giving up a small piece of myself.

"But it's not Maria you're sharing it with, it's Edward…" Esme began to contend, but I cut her off.

"That's not what I meant," I huffed and spun around to face her, my fists clenched by my side. "For Edward, that day has so much attached to it already. When I tell him, that day will be something I will need to share with him. I know it sounds selfish, but I need… I need it to stay mine."

It almost sounded like I was begging. I felt like there was a heavy weight on my chest, which cause my body to wrack with small sobs. Esme saw my distress and stepped forward, pulling me into her arms, the potatoes abandoned on the stovetop.

"Shhh. Take a deep breath," Emse said gently, running her hand from the top of my head, down my hair to my back. I'd never really had a motherly figure to comfort me when I was a child, and having it now soothed me more than I thought it would.

After a minute or so, she pulled away, brushing the strands of hair that had stuck to my overheated cheeks, tucking them behind my ears. "I understand better than you may think," she smiled warmly. "I don't know how I'd feel if someone planned something like a wedding or, God forbid, had a baby on the day Anthony died. It would break my heart to think that someone could celebrate something so happy on a day that makes me so sad. But Edward isn't celebrating something, and if anything, knowing would probably make him more mindful of what you are going through."

I was glad she understood, and it made me more hopeful that Esme would sympathize with the other intrusive thoughts circling my mind all week.

"I promised you I wouldn't say anything, I still believe you should tell him," she said as she stepped back. "My son needs you more than you may know, but I think you need him, too. You can only benefit from having more people in your corner when times get tough."

"Thank you, Esme," I said thickly. "I-I will tell him. I will, I promise. I just need some time."

Esme squeezed my hand reassuringly before moving over to take the potatoes off the low heat. I went back to preparing the salad, thinly slicing a stalk of celery. There wasn't much left to do for the salad but to wash and cut the punnet of yellow cherry tomatoes and dress it with a vinaigrette Esme had previously made before tossing it with some toasted walnuts she'd also prepared.

Unfortunately, now that the elephant in the room had been cleared and I didn't have to worry about any more unexpected discussions, my mind began to wander to the other issue that had been plaguing me.

Only ten days had passed since Emmett had revealed the truth about my mother and it plagued me. My mind drifted to it at inopportune moments. Small details kept popping back into my mind, like a puzzle piece found underneath the table, and my heart would ache all over again.

While thoughts of the past and what I will never have ate at me, it was thoughts of what was left to pick up that gnawed at me.

Both my brother and my father wanted me to contact my bio-aunt, Jenny Lloyd, for answers to some of the questions I had, but I was still on the fence. From the information I did have about my birth mother, I didn't know if I wanted to open that wound just yet. Edward had said he would support me in whatever I chose, so I should do what felt right.

The problem was I didn't know what felt right. I wanted answers, sure. But I also wanted to protect what was left of my now shattered heart.

I had almost finished halving the small tomatoes by the time I built up the courage to ask for Esme's advice. She told me she wanted to be there for me, for me to lean on her, and I think she meant that in more ways than just around my grief over my son.

I looked over at Esme, who was pulling a large, cast iron casserole dish out of the oven and placing it on the stove, and took the plunge. "I was wondering… could I ask you something?" I asked awkwardly. "For your advice," I added for clarification.

Without missing a beat, Esme responded. "Of course, Dear," she said as she lofted the pot lid, releasing a plume of richly aromatic steam.

I was momentarily distracted when the kitchen filled with a heart and warming smell, with a deeply satisfying and appetizing, meaty aroma, that made my mouth water and my stomach rumble. Quickly, though, my stomach dropped and my mind returned to my previous thoughts.

"Did, um… Did Edward or Alice tell you any of what my brother discovered?" I began timidly. I didn't particularly want to go into the details today, so I hoped one of them had talked to their mother about the heavy discoveries.

Esme was quiet for a moment but then moved to stand beside me at the island bench, regarding me with concern. I saw her nodding before she softly said, "They did, yes."

My throat felt tight, talking about it, but I swallowed the lump forming and met Esme's eyes. "Did they tell you that he found my biological aunt?"

She nodded again. "Yes."

"Um, well… my brother and father both think I should contact her and try to get as much of the truth as I can. But… I don't think I'm ready for the kind of truth she has." I didn't like feeling weak, but it was all I'd felt lately. "The last few months have been a rollercoaster ride, you know? I doubt anything my aunt would have to tell me about the life my mother led before her young death would be sunshine and rainbows. I just…don't know if I can take anymore."

Esme was quiet for a few moments, though her hand had made it to the middle of my back, which she rubbed comfortingly. "What does the rest of your family think about it?" she asked. "Or Edward? I know the counseling group doesn't start again until next week, but I hope you were able to talk to Edward about this, at least."

"I did ask Edward, and he basically said I should do what I think is best. My brother-in-law, Jasper said the same. My sister-in-law, Rose, was the only one who didn't think it was a good idea. She said she wouldn't want to cut open wounds for no reason, knowing they would be painful."

Rose had been through her own trauma back in college and her way of dealing with it was to shut the door and never look back. It had taken a long time for her to open up about what happened during her freshman year at college in Texas that drove her to transfer all the way across the country, to Washington State. The pain Rose went through framed many of her life choices, so it wasn't that surprising she voted against the idea to make contact. She wouldn't want to relive any moment of the horrid night her entire life changed, and she certainly couldn't understand why anyone would want the details of such gruesome events if they could avoid them.

Esme contemplated my words. "I can understand your reticence in opening up to what will probably be hard truths to hear. It doesn't seem like any of what's been revealed about your origins has been easy pills to swallow." she sighed and leaned again the island beside me. "I can only echo my son and tell you that, ultimately, it's your decision. Try not to worry about what other people want or think you should do. Do what feels right for you and no one else."

I couldn't help feeling disappointed. I'd hoped Esme could help shine a light in the direction I should take, but instead, I found myself just as confused about my decision as before.

"What I can say is," she continued heedfully, drawing my eyes back to her from where they'd dropped to the salad in front of me. "If I were in your position, I might think about contacting my aunt. Not just for answers but… Bella, you've missed so many opportunities to know Maria and your mother. I know if I were you, I might regret not taking the chance to make a connection with the last of my relatives."

The sound of the back door being opened and footsteps down the hall interrupted my conversation with Esme.

"It smells divine in here," Carlisle said when he came around the corner and into view seconds later, his nose in the air like a cartoon who'd caught a delectable aroma. "Good evening, my love," he said adoringly to his wife, pulling her into a quick and familiar kiss before turning to look at me. "Good evening, Bella. How have you been?"

"I've been well, Carlisle. Thank you," I smiled at him. Thankfully it felt genuine and not forced like I thought it might. "School returned from break today, so the kids were all chatty."

He chuckled wryly. "I imagine your head was pounding by the end of the day."

Before I could answer him, Edward came walking back through the arch from, I assumed, the library. "Cutting it close, Old man!" he jibed. "It's almost dinner time and you only just come waltzing through the door." Edward shook his head like he was disappointed in his father."

"Not all of us can have a commute like yours, Son," Carlisle said with a roll of his eyes.

"You seem to forget I actually went to one of those big buildings where lots of people do work today. I had to drive there and everything."

"Alright, you two! Enough," Esme entreated. "How about we take everything to so we can sit down?"

Carlisle helped me bring over the side dishes while Esme brought over the large pot and Edward quickly set the table. The meal was amazing and everyone ended up taking a few more extra spoonfuls to savor the flavor.

I had begun to truly enjoy spending time with the Cullens, not just Edward or Alice but all of them. Carlisle and Esme both made me feel at ease as if I'd known them for years, and they treated me the same way. As a family, they had a rapport that I found endearing.

Even though the evening was far from dull, I still found my mind wandering back over Esme's words. They bubbled deep inside me while Edward drove me home, and they swam in and out of my thoughts as my consciousness drifted off to sleep.

~oOo~

I continued to mull over everything for the next two days and by Wednesday night, I finally caved and called the one person whose advice I knew would be objective - Angela.

We had been friends for practically our entire lives and she'd always had a way of giving guidance and support without any judgement or bias. She had said it had come from growing up in a Pastor's home, always seeing her father providing direction for his congregation. But I had always known that was just Angela. When she chose to become a psychologist, I wasn't surprised. The career path suited her perfectly.

I'd told her everything about Maria after me and Edward returned from Forks. Jess had called Ange, wanting all the goss on the 'hot hunk I'd been showing off at the grocery store'.

To say Angela had been surprised by the whole thing was an understatement. She had been silent, her mouth open wide enough to catch flies, for a few minutes before she recovered herself. We'd talked for over two hours, covering everything Edward had told me about Maria and all that my dad had finally revealed. She let me cry, asking me questions that gently coaxed the entire truth from me.

Angela was stunned again when I said I didn't want to talk about my connection with Maria during the group sessions. She wanted to know when I was going to be able to process everything if I didn't feel like I could talk about it with my support system. Then she suggested finding a different group Edward could join within the program, so we could both have safe spaces to share our feelings.

Even after my repeated reassurances that Edward and I had become friends and that we were both comfortable with the other being in the group, she still watched me closely. I don't know how obvious it was to the others sitting in the circle on Monday nights, but I knew Angela was extremely worried about me.

I hadn't called her before now because I didn't want to interrupt her Thanksgiving break. After heading to Forks for the holiday last week, she and her husband, Ben, had taken their son to visit his family in Portland. I didn't want to bother her, but mainly, I knew how concerned she was about me and that she would drop time with her in-laws to help me.

No matter how concerned she was, I also knew that she would be able to give me the most level-headed and sensible advice.

Angela was quiet until I finished telling her about what happened to Bree before and after Maria and I were born. "That's… that's a lot to digest," she said, stunned.

I felt drained after repeating the horrible story. "I know. I'm sorry," was all I could quietly say.

"Goodness gracious, Bella," Angela practically scolded. "Why are you apologizing?"

"I didn't want to ruin your vacation. You guys don't get to visit Ben's family that often," I shrugged, even though she couldn't see me.

"Don't worry about that! You know you can always talk to me about this stuff with your sister and mother. You don't have to keep me at arm's length. I'm always here for you, B," she sighed.

"I know. That's why I called. And I'm sorry I didn't call earlier. I've just been so confused and in my own head."

Angela chuckled lightly, though not in a hurtful way. "Yeah, I understand."

"I just don't know what to do now and I need help," I jumped straight in. "Some advice."

"Okay."

"Em also found the information for Bree's younger sister, Jenny - my aunt. He… he and Dad think I should reach out to her; ask her questions. Rose thinks I should let sleeping dogs lie and take the answers I do have as a sign of answers to come. Jasper and Edward didn't have an opinion, but then I asked Esme, and she thought it could be an opportunity to connect with the last of a family I never knew about."

"What exactly are you asking me for advice about?" Angela interrupted me gently.

"What should I do? Should I reach out to my aunt?"

My oldest friend was quiet for a few moments before she answered. "It sounds like you've asked everyone around you, but I'm yet to hear what your own thoughts are."

It was the response of a trained therapist instead of my friend and I huffed. "If I knew that I wouldn't need to ask everyone."

"Okay. Then a better question is what do you want from your aunt? Do you just want answers to your questions, or do you want a relationship with her? Do you even want her to know you exist?"

It was my turn to be silent for a moment as I contemplated Angela's words. "I… I don't know."

"What are you so worried about?"

"Um, well, I guess I'm worried that it's going to open up this Pandora's box of shit that will be incredibly painful to learn."

"Going on what you've already discovered, I'd say the likelihood of that happening is high," Angela said diplomatically. "Is your fear of that pain stronger than your desire for answers, or connection to your blood relative?"

"I don't know that, either."

I could virtually see the pouted look on Angela's face as I heard her deep exhalation down the phone. She made the same expression any time she was posed with a quandary. I'd seen it many times in our group sessions and on countless occasions growing up.

"You're not going to know what to do until you've figured that out."

"And how am I supposed to do that?" I tried not to growl, but I still sounded frustrated.

Of course, Angela didn't lose her cool at my response. "My suggestion? I think you should write her a letter."

"How is that supposed to help me?" I cut her off.

"I think you need to get everything that's running around in your head out, put it in some order and it may hopefully give you some perspective. You may be able to tell by the tenor of your letter what you want from her, or whether you should actually send it. Once it's written down, you can send it or not, it's up to you."

"That easy, huh?" I said, dejection obvious in my voice.

"I'm sorry, Bella. None of this is easy. All I can offer you is advice on how to cope with this tragic situation."

"I know, Ange," I sighed. "I'm sorry. You've always been there for me and I'm so grateful."

"Promise me you'll call if there's anything else you need. Don't worry about me being away. I'm here for you, no matter what."

My eyes welled and I tried to keep my sniffle quiet. "I know. Thank you."

~oOo~

I thought about Angela's advice all night, only allowing me to fall asleep after the clock had ticked over into Thursday. Throughout the day, small snippets of words kept bubbling up and stringing together. It was like there was someone trapped at the bottom of a well, their words echoing up to me.

After Jasper dropped me home, I found myself scribbling. Page after page. Version after version. The first few iterations of the letter felt clunky and awkward, but it felt like I had begun to figure things out.

One thing I realized quickly was that I wanted to keep Maria out of it, at least for now. Bree was so scared when she found out she was having twins and did everything she could to keep it a secret. I didn't know if that secret died with her or not, but I wasn't going to be the one to go against her wishes. I was still Charlie Swan's daughter after all, and he would take a secret to his grave if need be.

That came through also as I kept any personal information about myself vague. I could hear Dad's voice in the back of my head telling me to not give strangers enough information to track you with. Don't tell them where you live, don't tell them where you work, and don't give them any clue with which they could figure those things out. While I didn't want to think of my aunt as someone who could hurt or scam me, my father was right in that you could never be too careful.

I stayed up much later than I normally would, still trying to draft a letter that said everything I needed it to say. Finally, I gave up, collapsing into bed close to midnight and falling into a dreamless sleep.

I woke up with much more clarity. The words had formed themselves into the right order while I slept and as I sat to drink my first coffee of the day, I was able to put pen to paper and the words flowed out of me.

I felt more centered and sure of myself. It had been such a crazy few months since Edward came into my life and started turning everything on its head. There hadn't felt like I knew what I was doing for a while now, so it was reassuring to know I could feel like that again.

By the time Jasper texted me to let me know he had arrived, there was a fully finished letter sitting on my kitchen table. I was able to leave for the day, my mind clear and my head held high.

I finally knew what I needed to do.

~oOo~

Dear Mrs Lloyd,

My name is Isabella Swan and while you don't know me, we are related.

As a baby, I was adopted and I have only recently discovered who my birth mother was. From my search, I found out her name was, Bree Tanner, your older sister. My brother works for the Police and was able to uncover information about her. That is also how I found you.

I want to preface this letter by saying that I don't expect or want anything from you. I don't expect you to fill a role in my life, especially if it's not one you want. The only things I may ask for are a few answers, but I understand if even those are too hard for you to give.

This all may be a huge surprise to you. I don't know if you even knew about my mother having me. I know you were young when it happened, so there may be a lot you weren't privy to. Though, I'm sure you weren't unaware. Children always know more than adults give them credit for.

After I was born, I was adopted by the police officer who help Bree the night she was in labor. Once Bree arranged for me to go to him and his wife, she left the hospital and was never heard from again.

You probably know the end of the story better than me, so I'll leave it at that.

If you're interested to know, I had a good childhood. My father and brother were always there for me and always made sure I was safe. I was loved and happy. I still am.

I'm now a teacher and I work in a high school. Every day at work, I see girls the age my mother was when she had me and I can't imagine what she went through. Learning about it has been hard enough.

Now that I've pieced together as much of the information as we can, I'm left with so many questions. The biggest of them being ~ What was my mother like? Was she kind? Did she like to read? What was her favorite food? Was she allergic to anything?

I could fill page after page with all the things I want to know about her.

But I also want to know about you, too. I'm not sure what the protocol is for wanting to get to know a long-long relative, but I'm happy to go at whatever speed you are comfortable with. I've never had an aunt before, so we can set up whatever relationship makes sense to us.

I have never wanted for love or family, but there has always been an aching feeling in my chest. Like I was missing a fragment of myself. When I discovered the truth about my adoption, about my mother, and then about you, that small fragment started to mend. There is a healing power to truth, no matter how hard it may hurt at the time. All I hope for is that one day, I can feel healed from this whole experience.

If you are willing to talk to me, or even if you'd like to tell me to leave you alone and never contact you again, please email me at isabella8..

I truly hope to hear from you soon.

With all my sincerity,

Isabella

Well there you go!

What did you think? Sorry it's a little bit of a slow chapter.

What do you think Bella is going to do with letter? Do you think she should send it to her aunt, or do you agree with Rose?

I promise to get onto the next chapter ASAP so I don't keep you all waiting. But please hold in there with me! Trust the process ;D

I love hearing what you think and read every one of your comments and reviews.

Till next time, Lovelies!