"We were supposed to go to dinner with Zo," Meredith whispered into the dark. She could feel his hand gently move up and down her arm as he spooned her. He was still awake, and the closeness only meant he was still a little rattled from the chaos in the day."
Truthfully, so was she.
"I know," he whispered back, "We can try again in a few days."
She sighed, "I called her back after I missed her phone calls and lied to her. I told her I saw you in the middle of the whole chaos and that you were fine, I mean you were fine but I didn't even know you were even in the hospital you-"
She rolled over after feeling his body gently shake. A slight chuckle escaped him, "What? What's so funny?"
"I lied and said I saw you in the middle of the chaos too," he answered. She could see his signature grin in the darkness, "We're a pair of liars."
"All for the sake of our daughter's stability," Meredith shook her head, "We make a good team."
"Yeah," he whispered as he pushed a strand back, "We'll make the time. We'll find a way, I promise."
Throughout the mistakes and errors Derek Shepherd had made, he had learned one thing. His children, his family, were the most sacred thing he had. He'd been fortunate to have been able to see them grow into the incredible people they were. That thing he'd told her years ago, that feeling he felt was still very true. He could have the most awful day at the hospital and just one glance at his family made it all go away. They were just….coming up for fresh air. There was just no other way to say it.
He knew Meredith felt the same way. He'd watched her become the most incredible mother who loved her children so fiercely she'd give up everything for them. He watched her set an example for their girls, watched how she taught Bailey kindness and sincerity, the gentleness she offered when they were hurt, the hugs she'd give when she came home.
They had been a tight knit bunch, the five of them. And for a while, it felt like they were being torn in different directions. Like the ghosts of the past were haunting them and not letting them move forward. It was terrifying.
Meredith smiled back, "I know."
There was so much confidence in her voice, that any fear he felt, vanished.
Derek leaned in to kiss her softly. She kissed him back with the same tenderness he offered before moaning, "Mm, I'm too tired for sex."
He let out a breathy chuckle as he kissed her again, "I'm not asking for sex," he kissed her again, "besides your the one whose pulling at my clothes."
Meredith pulled back and stared at him through hooded eyes, "I was scared. I know it didn't seem like it, but I was scared."
"I know," Derek whispered back, "I was scared to."
Years ago, she probably would've asked to turn the light on and to leave it on.
She reached his lips again. Tired or not she'd have him. She'd lose herself in the security net that he offered.
Tonight, all she needed was to be in his arms. And all he needed was to know she was safe.
The thing about life is that it never slows down. There's never a moment to pause and just take it in. It's an avalanche of emotions and chaos that happens one after the other. The peaceful moments are little treasures.
And a week later, there was still no peace. No little treasures. Just decisions after decisions- or the plans to make decisions. Three kids and flourishing careers made it hard to make them.
"Mom," Ellis' voice called out, "Remember that my playdate with Morgan is today!"
Meredith gasped, "Is that today? I thought it was Friday!"
"It is Friday," Derek rounded the corner, "Zo, Bails, if you want a ride with me, I'm leaving soon!"
Meredith watched as he stuffed his ferry boat scrub cap in his briefcase. She turned to him, "Daniel's surgery is today."
"Yeah," he nodded, "Amy is scrubbing in with me today by the way."
"Ellis! We gotta go, c'mon hon," Meredith called out.
"Mom, Dad," Bailey ran in with his backpack hanging on his back, "Remember I told you that Eric invited me to a movie tonight for his birthday? Is it still okay if I go? His mom said she could pick us after school."
Meredith turned to Derek, "Wait, it's Friday!"
"Yes, I just told you that," he nodded before turning to Bailey, "If your momma's fine with it, I'm okay with it. You studied for that science test?"
"Yeah," Bailey nodded, "Zola quizzed me last night. She said I couldn't embarrass her in front of her favorite science teacher"
Derek shook his head with a slight chuckle before his wife spoke again.
"We were supposed to have dinner at the old house tonight," Meredith explained, "It's Friday."
Derek blinked with sudden realization, "Oh, right. Well maybe we can postpone tonight and do something tomorrow-"
"You promised to take us fishing tomorrow," Bailey interrupted, he looked up and noticed his mother's worried face, "Sorry, but he did. Mom, can I go?"
Meredith sighed. Skipping their weekly dinners wasn't something she liked. But maybe this one time, it would be fine. Just once.
"Okay, yes it's fine with me as long as we pick you up," Meredith shrugged as a sudden realization hit her, "Wait that means that we can-"
"Uh-huh," Derek nodded knowing exactly what she was alluding to. If both Ellis and Bailey were off doing their own thing, there was nothing stopping them from talking to Zola.
Finally.
As if on queue, Zola and Ellis both ran out, "Ready!"
"Hey!" Meredith leaned over the counter with a smile, "Derek and I can't make it to dinner tonight, so we're gonna pass. We're spending the weekend with the kids, so-"
Amelia looked up, perplexed, "Wait, what? You two never miss Friday dinners unless you're out of town."
A true comment. The family dinners had fluctuant participants. There were dinners where there was a full house, where the likes of Richard and Catherine would show and sometimes the dinners were far more intimate and only the sisters and their significant others would show or just the sisters. But the family that had been consistent in hosting and joining were the Grey Shepherds. In fact, they had been the ones to begin such a tradition- if you could call it that.
"We've been meaning to spend some time with Zo and talk about Boston and New York. Ellis was invited for a playdate and Bailey is hanging out with Lucas," Meredith shook her head, "We're both off early today and we really have to make time for her. We have to be there for Zo."
Amelia smiled nervously, "Are you guys leaving? Is it looking like you'll be-"
Meredith shrugged, "We don't know yet. We just know we need to check in with Zo and we'll take it from there."
Meredith noticed how she was lost in thought before smiling brightly and holding up a medical journal.
"Did you see this?" Amelia showed her the journal with Maggie's face plastered on its cover, "Maggie made the cover!"
One thing Meredith appreciated about Amelia was the support she had for everyone in her life. The way she stood beside them even if she pushed them to let her stay. She'd been the only one willing to be supportive of her moving to Minnesota when everyone else had turned against her.
"We saw it this morning. I think Derek's feeling threatened by Zo's curiosity with cardio," Meredith laughed as she noticed her sister round the corner, "Hey! Congrats on the article! I haven't read it yet but it's already making a lot of buzz in the hospital."
"And this picture!" Amelia gushed, "I mean, wow!"
Maggie shook her head dismissively as she snatched it from Amelia's hands.
"I need you to request a retraction," Maggie hurried and clenched Meredith's arm, "Now. I need the hospital to call whoever-"
"Maggie?"
"You can do that right? You can ask for a retraction or correction or something?"
Maggie was just as supportive. She cared so deeply for everyone and was always ready to step up whenever Meredith needed her. She was a wonderful aunt and the children cherished her deeply. Lexie was precious. No one could ever replace her. And out of all the things Ellis Grey had left behind, Maggie had turned out to be the best of them.
Amelia stared dumbfounded, "Maggie what is going on?"
"I-ugh," she groaned before rubbing her forehead, "I said something that was printed and gonna make Winston hate me even more than he already does."
"Is that still going on?" Meredith asked skeptically as she turned to Amelia.
"It never ended," Amelia shrugged.
"I may have referred to him as a glorified assistant rather than my co surgeon," Maggie admitted, "It reads terribly. I mean, I couldn't even- can you help?"
"Okay, well I know how that feels, I don't know how much it'll help if he's already read it-"
"Meredith, please," she insisted.
Maggie rarely asked for these types of favors. And she was a professional through and through. But the way her marriage was crumbling made her heart ache. She knew how that felt. To feel like the person you loved most was just pulling away was such a treacherous feeling. Especially if things remained in the silence.
"I will make some calls," Meredith sighed, "Have you talked to him?"
"No- I mean yes but I can tell he hasn't read it so he's happy go lucky and excited," Maggie shook her head, "I can't even picture what he'll be like when he actually reads it. I can't go home yet even if I wanted to."
"Are you still crashing with Amelia?"
Meredith turned to Amelia who had a guilty look on her face, "Hey, you said that house was open to everyone. So, she's there as long as she needs to."
Meredith sighed. The Sister Chief Trifecta was still intact. Despite each of them branching in their own little cocoons of marriage and kids, they were still there for each other. Sometimes it made her miss Cristina, but then she remembered that Cristina's happiness wasn't kids and marriage. It was surgery. And she was thrilled to know she was living in happiness.
Meredith smiled sympathetically, "Talk to your husband. Don't let it drag out."
"Says the happily married mother of three," Maggie muttered under her breath as she watched her sister walk away. She turned to Amelia with a sigh, "So uh, I think we're gonna gracefully bow out of dinner this week. I have a bad-"
"What? No, no, no, no! No! Teddy and Owen barely stop by now. Link is on call and Meredith and Derek just backed out," Amelia stood, "This is tradition! It's an important tradition-"
"Yeah, yeah," Maggie sighed, "I know, I know. It's important, I remember. But honestly, I think I just need some space. Just tonight."
Amelia pouted.
"We'll do it next week," Maggie encouraged her, "Mer and Derek will bring the kids and it'll be a very loud bunch. Like old times."
"Is this gonna be a thing now?" Amelia asked from her seat, "Dinners on Friday? It's the second one we do."
"Yes," Derek nodded as he sat at the head of the table, "Pass the peas please."
"You remember the last time you tried to invite me to dinner?" Maggie asked from her seat as she took the tray and handed it to Amelia. Derek and Meredith laughed.
Meredith laughed, "I told you we just lost track of time.
Amelia snorted, "I lived with them, I know that's code word for-"
"Read the room!" The two parents pointed to the children on the opposite side of the living room. Bailey and Zola had been sitting by their small table. And Ellis had been in her play pen toying with some blocks.
Amelia rolled her eyes, "Get used to it with them Maggie."
"So why are we having dinners?," Maggie asked politely, "What's going on?"
Amelia looked up at her brother and smirked, "Is this an epiphany after your near death experience?"
She turned to Maggie, "He has one every couple of years."
"Actually," he smiled, "This was Meredith's idea."
"It was?"
Meredith rolled her eyes with a heavy sigh, "We've all lost so many people or we've almost lost people."
She turned to Derek who seemed lost in the weight of her words, "You once said that a big family was good. It was crazy and messy and that is what we have. We are crazy and messy. And we have this big house and it should be loud and full of people just like we once said."
They each looked around towards one another. She was right. Their village was huge, Alex, Callie, Arizona, Owen, but their family- their sisters- were right here. And they were the ones who had suffered most- who would suffer most aside from their kids if something should happen.
"Adams, you're late!" Amelia shouted as they turned the hall. He ran trying to catch up to his attendings, "Dr. Shepherd trusted you on this case and you are late!"
"I'm sorry, I know I am! You left without-"
"I'm sorry," Amelia turned around and stared at him, "Last time I checked, I wasn't in charge of your alarm clock. I'm not your mother Lucas, and you need to grow up and get your ass to the hospital. On. time!"
Lucas swallowed. This was the first time he had been reprimanded by his aunt in such a way. His eyes turned to the attending behind her. Derek stood with his hands on his hips as his jaw clenched. He turned to Lucas, giving no answer. He put on his best poker face but he knew damn well Amelia had said everything he was thinking as well.
"Yes, ma'am," Lucas nodded, "It won't happen again."
Derek nodded once and turned to Amelia, "You ready?"
He opened the door, ready for battle.
"Daniel? I'm Dr. Shepherd, nice to finally meet you in person. I'm sorry it's under these circumstances," Derek closed the door behind him and extended his hand, "This is Dr. Shepherd, she'll be assisting me on this case."
Daniel blinked, "Uh, both of you are-"
"We're siblings," the pair responded in tandem before Amelia extended her hand, "Pleasure to meet you. This is Dr. Adams, he'll be our intern on this case-"
"Nice to meet you," he nodded, "So uh, are we ready to go or am I gonna be left stood up? 'Cause I gotta know doc, I gotta know if I need to-to leave my girls settled or if I can give them hope."
Derek studied the man. He knew very well what he meant. If life had given him an ironclad timeline, he'd make sure his kids and wife were set. Just like he'd told her.
"The last time we spoke, we told you awake brain surgery was the way to go given that the tumor is right in your motor strip," Derek explained, "We told you that we'd have a better chance at clearing the whole tumor out after assessing your scans. The newest ones, tell us the same thing. We need to be aggressive and the best way to go is by doing it awake. "
"We're aiming to resect the entire area and a significant amount of residual," Amelia added, "It's a lot of tumor we're going after, which is why both of us will be operating."
A beat of silence passed before he spoke again, "Listen if you think there's a chance then I'll go for the surgery. If you see no clear way then- then, just let me sign the AMA. I have a family that needs me."
The surgeons glanced at each other before Amelia confidently spoke, "We're willing to take a chance if you are."
Lucas glanced between his two relatives then back to his notes. He couldn't screw up. He simply couldn't.
But he also couldn't help the fact that the confidence he saw in his uncle and the one he heard in his aunt, wasn't at all something he had.
Derek walked into the scrub room with a heavy sigh.
Lucas stepped in the room with a determined look in his eyes, "Hey, I didn't mean to-"
"I don't want excuses Adams," Derek shook his head as he reached for a nail pick, "I want you to get it together. It's the third time you're late this week."
"It's not-"
"Monday, your alarm didn't go off. You forgot the date on Wednesday and today you depended on Amy," Derek turned to him with a look that reminded Lucas of his mother. That look the Shepherds had whenever they put on their high and mighty coat of all righteousness.
"Okay, I get it I screwed up-"
"I put you on this case because I believe in you," Derek turned full face at him, "Because I promised you but you are making it hard for me."
"Uncle-"
"No!" Derek shook his head, "In here you are Dr. Adams and I am Dr. Shepherd. I am not giving you a free ride and I am not going to let you drown. You got it?"
"Yes, sir."
"Good," Derek nodded, "Prep the patient before you scrub in."
Lucas swallowed and walked into the OR, Amelia walked right in with her purple fireworks scrub cap on.
"Did you yell at him? He has that look he had when you told him he couldn't stay outside in the snow playing with his toy trains."
"Is he like this at home?" Derek asked, "Does he forget things easily? Is he disorganized and anxious?"
Amelia shrugged, "I mean he's always been like that. Kathy would've noticed something, right?"
Derek shook his head as he thought about the notes he'd read weeks ago.
"Alright, well," Amelia exhaled, "I'm gonna go check on things in there before I scrub in."
Derek watched as she walked into the OR, ordering everyone around.
This could be one of the final surgeries he would scrub in on with his sister as an attending in Grey-Sloan Memorial. Years ago, they'd be competitive over the more complicated cases that came. The traumas, the tumors, who had the better plan, who had the best mortality rate, anything that could be a competition they were in.
"Oh you're scared," Derek glanced at his sister as he scrubbed over the sink, "That's good."
"Well how is that different from having self-doubt?" he could sense Amelia's sad eyes on him. She'd just left rehab- again. She'd just recovered- again. He called her fragile. But even he knew she was anything but.
"Well you don't doubt your skills as a surgeon," he muttered, "I wouldn't let you scrub in if you did."
He could feel his sister's blue orbs staring at him. He turned to her and smiled.
"Well, I don't- I don't see the difference."
"After Dad died, any time there was a loud noise, like a gunshot, you'd jump out of your skin. You got a hold of these firecrackers. I found you in the yard, and you were setting 'em off one at a time, until you didn't jump anymore," he slightly chuckled at the memory.
He could remember a stubborn Amelia standing angrily in the yard setting off firecracker after firecracker. He let her go at it for a few minutes until she stopped jumping. He could remember how she had turned around and stared at him, her brows furrowed as she stomped back into the house angrily.
Amelia looked back down at the hands in the tin. She scrubbed quickly.
"When you're scared you fight. You face your fear and you fight. And you fight to win. Your fight is much stronger than any karmic payback.
Now, the siblings worked in perfect synchronization. They studied each other's cases carefully, provided advice, suggested new techniques, and accompanied each other on long surgeries. There was a trust between the pair that was hard earned.
He appreciated that. And he hated feeling helpless at watching his sister feel lonely after the person she loved left. He didn't want to further add to the pain.
He reached to tighten his blue ferry boat scrub cap that sat firmly atop his head.
"I. Need. It. Back," he eyed her carefully as she straddled him. His palms were flat on her thighs lightly grazing the soft skin and pushing up the cloth of the shorts she'd worn to bed into dangerous territory.
"No," Meredith grinned playfully as her fingers danced upon his ribs, "Finders keepers or whatever."
"You sound like Bailey," he laughed, "It's my lucky scrub cap! I need it back!"
Meredith rolled her eyes, "That blue one you wear works perfectly fine! Besides you don't believe in luck in the OR. You have that thing you say."
"It's my ferry boat scrub cap!"
He had a thing for ferryboats. A stupid thing really. But that scrub cap had become sacred between the pair. He called it along with the post-it, the tumor on the wall, and their children. Amongst the major milestones, there was a scrub cap that reminded them both of the pain they were put through.
Meredith bit her lip as she slightly jerked against him, "If you find it you can keep it."
He shook his head lightly. Really, it had been his fault it was in her possession again. He'd left it in his lab coat the night he had surgery for the spontaneous CSF leak over a year ago. She'd held on to it claiming it'd brought her luck on the surgery she performed on Cora.
Derek studied her features. Her green eyes shimmered against the rare, bright, Seattle sun, her blonde hair tossed over her shoulders, and her eyebrow raised, daring him to win.
He reached up to capture her lips, darting his tongue against her lips as he felt her fingers tangle in his hair. He held on to her waist tightly and quickly flipped her over, pinning her under him.
He kissed her deeply. Slowly. His tongue explored each and every corner he could. She wrapped a leg around him, inviting him for more, begging him for more. He could feel the heat within her as she pressed up against him, begging for more attention. He situated himself better, let go of her hands, and let her wrap both legs around him until-
"It's in your sock drawer," he grinned as he hopped out of bed and ran to his destination.
"What?" she shrieked before sitting up straight, "No, it's not-!"
"Ha!" he cheered triumphantly as he held up his signature scrub cap and ran off with his prize, "Finders keepers!"
"Dr. Shepherd," Meredith smiled as she walked into the scrub room. She looked out the window and saw Amelia preparing and making final decisions.
"Dr. Grey," he greeted back with a smirk.
"That scrub cap looks good on you," she raised a brow.
Derek laughed, "Well thank you, my wife kept it hostage for a good long time."
She giggled, "Are you ready?"
"I wouldn't have scrubbed in if I wasn't," he smiled at her as he lifted his eyes from the task at hand The signature glimmer of the overconfident Dr. Shepherd was in his eyes, "What's up?"
Meredith closed the door behind her as she peaked into the OR, "This surgery could be longer than you expected, right?"
Lucas stepped in and listened as Amelia explained something on the monitor. She could see the apprehension in his eyes as he processed everything she said. This was the first time the trio would be scrubbing in together. She was certain that the residents up in the gallery were seething with jealousy.
"Not if everything goes according to plan. I should make it out on time," he looked up, "Why?"
"No, nothing, just making sure we're still good for today," she shrugged, "How are you feeling?"
"Second time you ask me that which tells me I should ask you," he tied his mask and moved to grab the bar of chlorhexidine, "How are you doing?"
Meredith sighed, "I'm fine."
She could see him grimace under his mask as he cautiously turned to look at her, "Oh God, what's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong," she answered sincerely, "I really just came in here to check in. Y'know that's my job as chief."
He turned to her once more as the suds trickled down his arm.
"Okay chief," he asked, "Can I ask you a question?"
"Mmhm," she hummed as she approached the sink and leaned against it, her green eyes stood out with contrast of the dark purple scrub cap she wore.
"If Zola decides that she really likes Brookline," he treaded carefully, "Are you really ready to see yourself out of Seattle?"
Meredith Grey and Seattle were just synonymous. Grey Sloan was practically a part of her. She'd fought for it and with it for so long that the mild thought of her leaving had caused a civil war.
She forgave everyone, because living in constant resentment was something she just wasn't willing to do anymore. But she never forgot the feeling of abandonment she felt the day when everything seemed to crash.
The look of anger and spite in Bailey's eyes when she yelled at her that she was still "that" girl sleeping with married attendings.
The distress in Maggie's face when she confirmed her suspicions.
The look of disappointment in Richard. That hurt the most.
Even Derek had his own reservations. But that was mere insecurity and jealousy over a man who'd imposed on their marriage. She was aware that if they'd moved then, her marriage wouldn't have survived. Just like it wouldn't have survived a move to D.C. It wasn't the right time then. But now, things were different.
"Back in New York, at the hotel? I was laying on a bed, thinking about you and me," she leaned against the sink as she watched him continue to scrub. Four full minutes. She had four minutes to be completely honest.
"About everything that's happened to us over the years and how it's affected our kids without us even realizing it," she looked up, "I thought about how I've been taking jobs over the years and accepting positions and I-I can be selfish and I've earned that-"
"You have," he agreed, "And you're not selfish. You just know your worth, there's a difference."
Meredith shook her head with a breathy chuckle, "Zola is anything but selfish. And so is Bailey and Ellie. They are good kids who watch out for each other. Zola takes care of her siblings, especially when we can't- she is the best big sister ever."
He smiled as he recalled the small pink t-shirt she'd surprised him with years ago.
"Bailey is out there defending her because he hates seeing her hurt and Ellis was worried she wouldn't see her brother again after the accident and would sneak into her sister's room when I was stuck in the hospital."
She sighed as she heard the valve shut off.
"They're pretty freaking great kids, Derek."
"They are," he nodded once more, "They're the most selfless, most compassionate kids. You're sure they're ours?"
Meredith giggled. She watched as his face lit entirely with his massive smile, proud that he'd garnered such a giggle from her.
"We can't be selfish and just chase the next big job or the big surgeries anymore," she continued, "We've done it all, we've seen it all. It's their turn."
"We have a chance to give them everything you and I did not have when we were kids because we are both still here," she continued, "No matter what that means."
"So you're saying you're ready? If what we think might happen, happens, are you ready to take that jump?"
"I am very ready to leave Seattle if it's the best thing for our children," she whispered, "Aren't you?"
Derek softly smiled and nodded, "I'll follow you anywhere you and the kids lead."
Meredith grinned. Of course he would.
"What about our sisters?" her grin suddenly fell, "Maggie is really going through a tough time with Winston right now and Amy hates when she feels like people leave her."
"Yeah, the whole thing with Kai doesn't help either," Derek agreed, "But, we're not abandoning them, moving for our kids sake doesn't mean that. They know it's been in the works for a while and they get that the kids always come first. They'll be okay."
The doors burst open as a gleaming Amelia stepped in, "Alright, we're set! I'm ready to scru- oh, sorry! Did I interrupt?"
"No!" Meredith pushed herself off the sink and smiled, "You didn't! We just finished. Um, I'll see you two after the surgery. Good luck."
Amelia eyed her curiously as she stepped out the door. Derek made his way to the double doors leading into the OR.
"What was that?" Amelia asked, "Was that your wife or the chief?"
"Both," he answered as a sudden tinge of guilt crept through him, "I'll see you in there."
"He gets to scrub in because he's a Shepherd," Kwan muttered under his breath, "It's freaking nepotism at its finest.
"Doesn't mean he lives up to the Shepherd Super Siblings caliber," Yasuda shrugged, "Fifty bucks says he answers something wrong and gets kicked off the case within fifteen minutes."
"Really," Derek's voice burst through the intercom, "What the hell did we talk about? We're this close to getting our asses off probation and you're making jokes about what one of your peers can do?"
They quickly glanced at the intercom by the wall. Someone had left it on.
"Sorry, Dr. Shepherd," they all quickly stammered as they sat up straight.
"Kwan, you scrubbed in on a major surgery with Dr. Shepherd earlier this week and completed a corpus callosotomy. Yasuda, you assisted on a major cardiac surgery with Dr. Altman, Griffith and Millin, you both scrubbed in with Dr. Pierce and Dr. Ndugu on a major surgery that has now been published for the entire medical community to read. Get over yourselves!"
These eager interns had a lot to learn. Every class had been the same. Eager, overreaching, high achieving, selfish, competitive. Just like he had been with Addison, Naomi, Sam, Mark and the rest of his class.
Derek noticed Meredith step into the gallery, she'd pulled off her scrub cap, her tight blonde braids still in place. She glanced at the interns and walked to the intercom and shut it off. He shook his head and made his way to his patient.
"How are you doing Daniel?" Derek asked, "Sorry about the interns up there."
"It's like kids in high school," he chuckled, "I, uh, teach tenth graders. They can be cruel but deep down they all have something going on. We all do."
"Yeah," Derek nodded as he looked up to Lucas who wrapped up whatever pre-op he had been doing and walked into the scrub room.
Lucas watched as the Shepherds performed an eloquent dance. They'd worked in tandem. Knew each other's next moves, finished each other's sentences. They'd make small conversation with Daniel, request instruments, all in a perfect fashion.
Lucas learned Daniel enjoyed carpentry. He taught high school science and enjoyed his job. He liked the summer breaks even though the pay wasn't great. Time with his little girl was worth it.
"Why did we opt for an awake surgery, Dr. Adams," Derek asked under his mask.
"Oh, um," Lucas swallowed, "The tumor is right in his motor strip. It's part of the neocortex which is responsible for any voluntary movements so you want to preserve its function."
"And how are we going to make sure we achieve that?" Amelia asked next.
"We'll ask him to move his right side, fingers, toes, shoulders. It'll help us see what functions he's preserved as you resect the tumor."
"Correct," Amelia beamed, "Dr. Adams, you've answered well. Nice job."
"Thanks," Lucas nodded as he continued to observe.
"Tell me about your little girl Daniel," Derek asked, "What's her name again?"
"Gigi," Daniel answered, "Georgina. Named after my wife's mom."
Amelia chuckled.
"That's funny, my little girl is named after my wife's mom too," Derek replied, "Ellis likes to cook. I fish a lot and every time I bring home trout, she's ready at the grill to fry that sucker up."
Daniel chuckled, "Yeah, mine likes to bake with her ma. She made a mess in the kitchen once- flour all over her head and stuff- and I could see my wife hold in the loudest scream you could hear. What about you uh, Dr. Shepherd? You got any?"
"A boy," Amelia answered as she took the skull flap and placed it in the tin, "He is not named after his mom or his dad. Well kinda, his dad's name is Atticus and my son's name is Scout."
"Like the- really?" Daniel asked. Clearly he was fully aware of the name links.
"Yep. I wasn't a fan at first but we made an agreement. Scout could be his name as long as I got to choose his middle name and names were hyphenated."
Derek laughed as he requested an instrument.
"What is his middle name?" Lucas asked with a furrowed brow, "I mean, if it's not too much to ask."
Derek continued to work meticulously, "It's a good tumor. We have clear margins."
"It's lower grade, too," Amelia quickly added before glancing away from the tumor and up at her brother, "It's Derek. Scout Derek Shepherd Lincoln. After my brother."
Lucas smiled. It looked like he wasn't the only one named after the man.
"You know," Daniel's voice cut through, "It's kinda nice knowing that you are poking around my brain and have such a good relationship. I kinda find it soothing."
Lucas laughed as he moved the suction closer. He agreed, it was nice to see the two siblings have such a good relationship.
The surgery continued. Both surgeons worked quietly. Every so often asking questions to put Daniel at ease. Family was his favorite topic. He went on and on about Gigi and how they had wanted another but the tumor had put a stop to those plans.
Amelia turned to Lucas, "Adams let's do that sensory check."
Up in the gallery, the interns watched carefully and took notes. A few attendings rotated in and out of the gallery. Dr. Lincoln, Dr. Hunt, Dr. Ndugu, Dr. Altman. They'd all step in and make small talk with the chief who sat with her hands folded at the center seat of the front row.
Maggie stepped in and sat in the empty chair next to her, "How's it looking."
"Motor skills seem okay so far," Meredith commented, "Adams just checked and he can still move his right side which is good."
"It's a big one," Maggie sighed.
Meredith turned to her sister, "He read it, didn't he?"
Maggie exhaled, "He thinks I don't respect him. He says I'm cold and that I don't see him as an equal."
Meredith nodded, "It's not the first time he says that-"
"I know but I don't know how to fix it!" Maggie exclaimed as quietly as she could, "I respect him, I do. I-I-"
"But you don't see him as your equal," Meredith added, "You told him you didn't respect his choice."
Maggie furrowed her brows, "You once left neuro for Derek-"
"It's not the same," Meredith shook her head, "I didn't leave it for him, I broke my attending's trust, that's the difference. My husband? The man who steps out of here, that's different. Besides I'm the one with the Catherine Fox Award, not him."
Meredith smirked but noticed she got no reaction from Maggie. Maggie stared ahead at the surgeons performing their dance.
"Can you separate Winston from the surgeon?" Meredith dared to ask.
Maggie sighed, "Derek asked me that once."
Meredith nodded. Of course he had. They'd been on the same page when the sisters had problems. He was a little more defensive but tried to keep a distance. Having four sisters taught him that.
"I once told Derek I could live without him," Meredith recalled, "And I can. I can do it. And he could do it too. We have lives aside from each other. But I choose not to. And I'm happy I do because I love him and I love the life we have together. And so does he- I mean it's not always perfect there's days I want to run and get away from him because we spend so much time together and his perfect hair can be annoying and I know my rambling annoys him and he talks too much and I snore but we have a good life. And I'm sure he feels the same. We've made it clear, we're in it for forever."
She paused for a moment as she thought about their conversation in the scrub room. They were about to cement a decision that could change what that forever looked like. It would've been scary years ago but now she was prepared and confident. Her instinct had told her that this might be the thing that their family needed.
"I'm happy for you but what does that have to do with me," Maggie shrugged.
"I'm just saying," Meredith shook her head trying to gather her thoughts, "Maybe consider if you want the same life."
Maggie nodded, "Oh, by the way, you might uh-"
She froze for a moment, "Never mind."
"What? I might what?"
"No, you just gave me a lot to think about," Maggie stood as she shook her head, "Thanks."
Meredith smiled as she looked down at her phone. She sighed as she stood and stepped out.
Chief duty called.
Derek smiled proudly as he watched Daniel move his leg. He had function in both areas.
"Okay," Derek swallowed, "That's good, that's very good."
Dr. Adams looked up and nodded, "Neuro checks every hour right?"
"That's right Dr. Adams," Derek nodded, "Set alarms on your watch and phone, now before I leave."
"Yes sir," Lucas nodded as he pulled his phone out. He was disappointed in himself. He should've been on time, he shouldn't have missed rounds and he shouldn't have made up stupid excuses. Now all Derek would see would be the teenager that he reprimanded that rare Christmas he spent in New York.
"You got the whole thing right?" Grace stood at the door with Amelia by her side.
Amelia exhaled deeply as she made eye contact with her brother. She nodded once, telling him she'd already shared the news.
"We got the whole thing," Derek smiled, "The whole damn thing."
Grace held her composure as tears flowed down her face, "He's gonna live- he-he's gonna-"
"He is going to need time to recover," Amelia added, "He has some weakness on the right side but it's normal after a surgery like this."
"But I'll have him," Grace cried, "He's not leaving me?"
Amelia wrapped her arm around him, "He's not leaving you."
Lucas watched as the pair turned their surgeon roles on. They explained patient care, overnight routines, and continuous care. He watched how his uncle approached the married couple with empathy. How he made sure they both knew they were being taken care of.
How he gave them hope. Real, honest, hope.
As they exited the room Lucas swallowed, "Dr. Shepherd."
"Yeah," Derek turned to him, "What's up?"
Lucas sighed, "I just wanted to apologize for being-"
"Save it," he answered, "I don't need any more excuses. I defended you in there but I need you to get it together."
"I'm trying-"
"I know," Derek sighed, "But you need to try harder. The notes I got back after my trip to New York and Boston, they worry me. It's telling me that you cannot get it together if I'm not here and that is not okay with me-"
Lucas nodded, "I'm gonna do better, I promise."
"Really?" Derek asked again. His eyes searched his face, "Because you won't always have me around to defend you from your classmates that accuse you of benefiting from having a cohort of relatives here!"
Lucas swallowed.
"And I know I promised I wouldn't throw it in your face, I know I'm being harsh, but Lucas, I know you can be great," Derek said in a quieter tone, "But you need to get it-"
"Together," Lucas clenched his teeth, "I get it."
Derek nodded, "Did you set those alarms?"
"Oh no uh, I got-"
"Dammit, Shep!"
"I'm on it, I'm on it," he turned his phone over showing him the alarms, "See, done."
"Every hour Adams," Derek tightened his jaw before walking away. Something had to give.
Meredith made her way down the hallway with her cell phone in hand. She didn't like the feeling she carried. A little anger. Some bitterness. Betrayal. She was proud of her. Incredibly proud. But a small part of her was not pleased at the fact that she had been the traitor when she couldn't tell the chief the truth up front.
Meredith spotted her target and approached her.
"When were you gonna tell me you were feeling offers from other hospitals?"
Maggie froze. She gripped the tablet tighter as she slowly turned her head towards her chief.
"I uh, always get offers when I publish, you know this," Maggie shrugged. Meredith noticed the tinge of hesitancy in her face and the slight waiver to her voice.
"So the offer from Chicago?" Meredith continued to ask, "That's not-"
"Dr. Grey," Maggie rolled her eyes, "If there is something I need to tell you, if the time should come that I-decide- I choose to-"
She swallowed.
"Look I am responsible enough to give you the courtesy as my chief and my sister," Maggie faced her, "I am committed to Grey Sloan. This is my home."
Something didn't feel right. She wanted to believe her sister was being truthful. She wanted to believe that everything was fine.
"Okay," Meredith nodded, "Thank you Dr. Pierce."
Maggie watched her sister walk away. She sighed deeply before returning back to work.
"Ten bucks says she clings on to Ellis a little longer," Zola offered as they watched Meredith and Ellis walk up to the house of her best friend. Meredith had insisted on driving her over- even if the two girls went to school together.
"That's a losing bet," Derek shook his head, "Even I know that."
Zola laughed before leaning against the driver's seat, "I think it must be hard to watch your kids grow up."
Derek shifted to try to face her as fully as he could, "You think so? How come?"
It was quite a bold statement from a kid her age. Then again, Zola was one of a kind.
"Well, I think it's as if you imagine they'll stay little forever and then they grow up," Zola shrugged, "It all happens so fast."
Derek thought about her words. How true they were. How painful.
"When did you get so smart?"
Zola tapped her head with one finger, "Gifted, remember?"
Off the vehicle Meredith held on to her youngest hands, "You sure you don't want to go with us?"
"Mom! I told you I'll be fine," Ellis looked up at her, "This is my first playdate in a really, really long time."
After her behaviors in class, Ellis had been effectively shut out. Temporarily. Her moments of being mean had cost her some friendships and Meredith wasn't so sure she was ready for a return to her social routine. Even Derek had agreed with her. But, Ellis had convinced them. She really wanted a shot to mend some bridges and a play date was her solution.
"Okay, well remember what daddy and I said," Meredith sighed as she rang the doorbell, "No hitting-"
"Be nice, treat my friends with respect, and follow The Golden Rule," Ellis sighed exasperatedly, "I know, I know."
"And what's The Golden Rule?"
Ellis sighed again, "Treat everyone the way I want to be treated."
She was certain Carolyn had taught Derek that. It's why he repeated it to his own kids. If Ellis Grey had taught her a golden rule, it would've probably been along the lines of always having a plan for surgery. Which was important but she was glad the golden rule had a different meaning for their children.
"Okay," Meredith smiled as she stooped down to her daughter's level, "I love you. To the moon and back over and over again. And if you want to come home-"
"Call you and daddy and you'll pick me up," Ellis smiled, "I know. I love you to the moon and back over and over again too."
Meredith smiled as someone began to unlock the door.
"Hi Ellis, come on in, Morgan's upstairs," Clara, a lithe woman with sleek hair opened the door. She seemed to be dressed in perfectly tailored high end clothing, and if memory served her well, she was one of those PTA moms. The kind who brought cupcakes and organized events. The opposite of Meredith Grey.
"Dr. Grey, it's so nice that you let Ellis stop by," Clara smiled, "She's been missed."
"Yeah, well, she's been having a bit of a hard time lately-"
"Oh, we're aware of those incidents in the yard. We were worried there for a second that- oh never mind you- um I'm assuming you'll be taking off? Work duties?"
Meredith swallowed, desperate to bite her tongue, "Um yes my other daughter has her own ting and my husband-"
"Oh Dr. Shepherd's in the car," Clara made a point to step to the side and wave to the vehicle.
Derek furrowed his brow back in the car, "Who is she waving at?"
"She's weird," Zola mentioned as she stared outside, "She has another kid younger than me and she is like that with all the dads."
"Oh, your mother is gonna kill me," Derek muttered as Zola giggled, "I'm gonna pretend I didn't see her."
Clara stopped waving as she realized she was getting back nothing in return.
"Okay, well," Meredith stepped back as she fought the urge to say something to the ogling woman, "We have to, uhm go. Please call me if there is any-"
"Oh I will," Clara tightly grinned, "See you soon."
Suddenly, Meredith regretted this whole play date thing. But who was she to rob her daughter of experiences she was robbed of.
Meredith stomped back into the car and slammed the door shut.
"So how'd it-"
"Don't!" Meredith stopped him, "Just drive before I run in there and get my kid back."
The drive wasn't too long. And whatever jealousy Meredith felt had somewhat ebbed away.
"You know, I've always known I was your favorite," Zola leaned closer to the seats in front of her with a smirk on her face. Both her arms leaned against the shoulder rests of their seats.
"You get your confidence from your mother Zola Grey," Derek began as he quickly glanced at his wife.
"No she doesn't!"
"No I don't!"
They both responded in tandem before laughing. They all knew where that confidence came from.
"Why am I the only one going to dinner with you? Did Bailey and Ellie do something?"
"No," Meredith shrugged, "Your dad just finished a very successful surgery and I got off early. Nothing bad happened."
"Why does something bad have to happen for us to spend time with you?" Derek asked, "Sit back, please, I don't want anything to happen to you."
"Because something always does," she muttered as she slouched back. She watched the buildings and the cars through the window. They quickly passed them as her father drove down the street. She knew the way by heart now, they were going to the restaurant she loved at Pike Place. The one she always insisted on for special occasions.
"Oh," she suddenly blurted.
"Oh?" Meredith asked as she turned to face her, "What's oh?"
"This is about the school," Zola realized, "I'd say 'crap' but you always say it's not nice."
Meredith turned back to face the road ahead. She turned slowly to see the smirk on her husband's face.
"That," he mouthed, "She gets that from you."
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Zola asked as she looked up from her food.
"Like what?" her father asked.
"I don't know but you have that weird look on your face."
"It's his McDreamy face," Meredith said as she covered her mouth. She swallowed her food and turned to her husband, "It's the sparkly eye thing he gets when he's thinking something cheesy. It's how he charmed me."
Derek laughed.
"You have it too Mom," Zola made a face as she suppressed a laugh, "You both have this look on your face like you're excited or something."
"I'm just happy we finally get to have some quality time with you," Meredith smiled, "I know it's been a lot with your panic attacks, Bailey's accident and Ellis' outburst and your dad and I threw a lot at you in New York and Boston. But you've been very graceful throughout all of it."
Zola smiled, "Thanks. Still doesn't explain Dad.
"I'm thinking about the time you took your first steps," he admitted, "Your mom held you and she would just send you over to me and she was freaking out because she thought you'd take them in daycare."
Meredith scrunched her nose as she recalled the events. She tried to be encouraging, but a small part of her was furious that the tiny little thing refused to take the first steps. Still, her instinct told her she'd be darting across the room in no time.
"Then one night," Derek continued, "I was just exhausted and so was your mom and we just played back this video of yours. And you walked. Right in front of us you just darted. I missed it on video. I couldn't turn it on."
The mother and daughter laughed heartily.
"How did that little girl grow up so quickly into this beautiful young lady in front of me?" his heart slightly sank at the realization of the years that had passed. Soon, she'd be looking at colleges. Packing her things and heading off somewhere where she'd shine.
"You just darted right in front of us and I just," he sighed, "I missed it."
Meredith watched as he lost himself in the last few years. He was right. One day, she was a smiling six year old claiming she'd be a neurosurgeon and now she was…finding herself. Finding a way to heal.
"You didn't miss it daddy," Zola smiled at both her parents, "I'm right here."
"Lobster rolls are better in Boston," Meredith said as she chomped down on her roll, "New York may have pizza but we have lobster rolls."
Derek shared one last smile with his daughter, fully knowing that his wife was pivoting. She knew he could go on and on. And they needed to solve a dilemma that was looming over their heads. Now.
"Aunt Maggie says the deep dish pizza in Chicago is better," Zola raised a brow.
"It's always a competition with all of you," Derek chuckled as he turned to his wife. She shrugged with a knowing smirk plastered on her face.
"Did you enjoy your time in New York?"
"Mmhm," Zola nodded as she bit into her roll, "I loved spending time at Nana's. I learned a lot of things about you."
He smiled at her genuinely. His little girl had seen so much her entire life. For a while, it'd been easy to turn a blind eye. To think that he had been shielding her the way he had Amy. When the first panic attack had hit her that day in the park. He realized just how much he'd failed to see the cracks beneath the surface.
Meredith nodded, "What about Boston?"
Zola slightly squirmed as she leaned back, "It was fine."
Zola eyed both her parents. She was aware that they'd seen how happy she was. How she made two new friends who got her. Who understood how hard it was to fit in somewhere they knew they didn't. Who let her forget for just one instant that she was Zola Grey Shepherd, daughter of the invincible general surgeon Meredith Grey and the legendary neurosurgeon Derek Shepherd.
She had just been Zola.
"You liked Brookline," Derek whispered knowingly.
"We saw you," Meredith added, "You were smiling and laughing. You made friends."
Zola sighed, "I still think we should stay here. In Seattle."
"But you said the kids at SeaTac Academy were snobby," Meredith chuckled, "You didn't like it there, remember?"
"You had that face you make whenever broccoli is a part of your plate," Derek added as he watched his daughter fight the smirk on her face.
Zola picked at her roll, "You two would have to give up your jobs. I don't want you to have to do that for me."
There it was. Their very level headed daughter was thinking about them. She always did. She put everyone above herself but now, they were offering her a chance to do the opposite.
"Zola," Derek shook his head, "You're our kid. Your job is to grow into your beautiful self. Our job is to worry about everything else."
"What about Bailey and Ellis? They hated me when they found out at first. Ellis hid in the treehouse that's still not finished-"
"It's almost finished!" Derek interjected before Zola continued.
"-and Bailey and I fought all the time"
"It'll be hard," Meredith sighed, "And you're not always gonna get along as siblings. Bailey has had a tough year and Ellis has also had a tough year. Maybe we could all use a new start."
"What about Aunt Maggie? Aunt Amy? Lucas?" Zola asked, "We'd be leaving all of them behind. That's why we didn't leave for Minnesota."
"We would," Derek nodded, "But your mom and I are your parents. And as parents, our first job is to take care of the three of you. And if leaving Seattle is the right thing, then that's what we'll do."
Zola could see the concern in her eyes. The older sister in her wasn't convinced.
"Your aunts understand, you know that. They only want the best for you," Meredith added, "And Lucas would, too. And they could visit or we can visit. Just because we move it doesn't mean-"
"Mom, you run the hospital," Zola shook her head, "People depend on you and you're teaching the new interns, Dad."
Meredith turned to her husband. She found a barrier for everything. There was no easy road.
"What if we told you that we're both really good at our jobs and we could probably find one in Boston?" she widened her eyes as if she was revealing something big. But really, she hadn't even told her own husband that there was a job offer on the table already. A big one.
"Mmhm," Derek agreed, "And I'm pretty sure I could find something to do. I think I'm pretty good at what I do. What do you think Dr. Grey?"
"Well I haven't fired you," Meredith shoved him lightly before winking at her daughter.
He smirked at his daughter knowing he'd get a smile out of his self-condescending joke. He also had his own secret. His own secret offer that would let him establish it wherever he chose. And if Boston was their destination, then Boston it was.
Zola fiddled with the remaining roll in her hand. Her parents were great doctors. They'd shine anywhere they went. She knew they had offers coming in left and right and had always chosen to stay in Seattle. There was some comfort to that. In knowing that she and her siblings would always come first. She had no doubt about that. But what if she never became as invincible as her mother? And what if she never became as confident as her father? What if, so many what ifs.
"What if I decided I didn't want to become a doctor?" she glared up at her parents. There was no shock in their eyes. No anger. No remorse.
Until her father held his hand to his chest, "Call Maggie, I think I'm having a heart attack."
He clutched at his chest dramatically as he watched his daughter stare at him completely unamused.
Meredith rolled her eyes as she released a chuckle, "Despite what your clown of a father says, that's completely fine!"
Zola watched as her mother shrugged and went back to her roll, with no care in the world. She meant her words. Truly.
"Zola, you can do whatever you want to do," her father smiled genuinely as he crossed his arms and tilted his head.
"Really?" Zola straightened. She blinked with some shock in her voice, "You wouldn't be disappointed?"
"Not at all!" Meredith exclaimed, "You are so intelligent. And so creative."
"The whole world is yours to conquer, Zo," Derek added, "We will always be proud no matter what you choose to do."
Zola watched as her parents had taken their stance. They'd have her back. Always. No matter what. They supported her. They believed in her. Even in the darkest moments, they'd always be there. They always had.
"You are going to make your mark no matter what you do," Meredith leaned in, "You have always been and will always be extraordinary."
Their daughter may not have noticed it, but he did. He detected the tiniest waiver of her voice.
Extraordinary. That's what she was. There was no better word to describe her.
"What are you thinking, Zo?" Derek asked, "Is it Brookline STEAM?"
"Mom, Dad," Zola stared at them for a moment, "I love it there!"
Their faces burst into smiles as they watched their daughter go on and on about the programs she was introduced to.
"And they have an orchestra!" Zola beamed, "I want to join the orchestra and play the-"
"You want to join the orchestra?" Derek asked excitedly, "I was in band when I was in high school."
Meredith laughed as she thought about the pictures they had found in Carolyn's house.
"That's not the same, Dad. I want to play the cello!" Zola continued, "Can I please play the cello if we move?"
"You can!" Meredith nodded, "When we move."
The rest of the dinner went off with Zola excitedly sharing all she learned at Brookline. There was a glimmer to her eye- a sparkle- that was long dimmed. And now, it was bright. So bright.
Dessert rolled by and the trio picked at the cheesecake as they listened to her daughter. She showed them pictures of her newly formed friends, the marine lab, the robotics lab, the music room, everything she loved at Brookline.
The cheesecake began to slowly disappear.
Derek stared at the final piece for a while as an old memory crossed his mind. He turned to his wife as he saw her set her fork down.
"Hey Zo?"
"Yeah, Dad?" she turned to him from the pictures she had taken in Boston.
"You want the last piece of cheesecake?" Meredith offered. After their daughter picked her fork and savored the bite, Derek turned to his wife and a grin.
This was the right choice. They could feel it.
"Can we not tell them, yet?" Zola leaned over to the console as the car halted in the pick-up zone, "Please."
"Zo? I thought you were excited about moving?" Derek asked as he quickly glanced at his wife.
"I am but," Zola sighed, "Just not tonight, please."
"Okay," Meredith nodded reassuringly, "We'll talk about it soon. Not tonight, but soon."
The back door opened as Bailey hopped in, "Hi guys, I had so much fun!"
Zola plopped back on her seat as she looked at her brother. Guilt danced in her head, "What did you watch?"
Bailey told her everything. From start to finish. If she cared about any spoilers, she made sure not to tell him, so she could enjoy his excitedness just as well. They reached their next destination and Meredith immediately jumped off the car to get their daughter.
Meredith tapped her foot as she waited for the door to open. Clara opened the door and a furrow-browed Ellis dashed to the car.
"Ellis, wait for me!" Meredith yelled fully knowing she'd fail. She turned to Clara with a grim look, "What the hell happened?"
"I don't know," Clara shrugged, "One minute they were playing and the next they weren't. She was pretty happy until a few minutes ago."
Something told her that Clara wasn't being completely truthful. Meredith sighed deeply, thanked the woman and headed back to the car. Ellis sat between her siblings with her arms crossed across her chest.
"You want to talk about-" Derek asked as he turned to help her daughter with her seatbelt.
"No," Ellis answered, "Not yet."
Meredith swallowed as she shook her head when Derek silently questioned her.
Zola and Bailey shared a look. Something had gone wrong on that play date.
"Couldn't sleep?" Meredith walked into the kitchen wrapped in a blue cardigan like robe only to find her husband standing over the kitchen counter reading a medical journal.
"I keep thinking about Bailey and Ellis. Bailey had the time of his life with his friends tonight and Ellis was miserable," he took off his glasses as he turned to her and watched her put water in the kettle, "You?"
"I keep thinking about the same thing," she sighed, "Ellis went straight to bed after her shower. She didn't want to talk about it."
"Maybe she'll talk tomorrow," Derek shrugged.
"I can't wait to break the news to her," Meredith muttered.
"Yeah. She's gonna be hiding in that treehouse again," he scoffed.
Meredith yawned before leaning against the counter, "Did you see how happy ZoZo was when she told us she loved it there? I haven't seen her that happy in a very long time."
He hummed, "That big smile just makes everything so much brighter."
"She has a point," Meredith turned to him, landing back on planet earth, "We do have to start looking for jobs."
Derek sighed before turning to her fully. He crossed his arms and bit his lip nervously,"Catherine Fox offered me an interesting proposal?"
Meredith raised her brow ready to jest, "Isn't she already married?"
Derek laughed, "No, she uh, offered to fund a clinical trial to find alternative curative treatments for cancers."
Meredith blinked, "Woah."
"Yeah," he swallowed, "I uh, explained that my priority- our priority right now are the kids. But she did offer to fund it with whatever partnership I chose. Whether it's Grey Sloan or-"
"Somewhere in Boston," Meredith finished for him, "She offered you an out."
"Yeah. And a stay. She offered both."
"Jackson offered me a position in the foundation," she swallowed.
"The foundation? Doing what?" he furrowed his brow. His wife didn't belong in an office, he knew that.
"Um, it's a uh-"
"Meredith? What is it?"
"A research lab. Funded exclusively to find a cure for-for," spit it out, she told herself, "Alzheimer's."
He froze. She could see the blood drain away from his face. As if someone clicked a reset button and he was trying to reboot somehow. It was failing. Because as hard as she was trying to patiently wait for all systems to reboot, she couldn't.
"Derek, say something," she leaned against the opposite counter.
He blinked, "In Boston?"
"Yes."
"Alzheimer's?"
"Yes."
"Wow," he swallowed the bitter pill, "That's uh, wow."
She knew she wouldn't get the same reaction she'd gotten when she brought him to the lab she was offered in Minnesota. The glimmer in his eyes that day was palpable. He stared at the name on her door and smiled widely. Insisted she take on the job. And when she invited him, he was hesitant. He'd offered his sister so he could stay home with their children. He took obstacles off the way for her to thrive in this new adventure.
But that glimmer wasn't here. It was gone.
"Derek-?"
He pressed his lips together in a tight grin before leaning in to quickly peck her cheek, "I'm gonna turn in. Try to get some sleep. Don't stay up too late."
"Okay," she whispered, too tired to pull him back in.
A/N: Hi!
I missed you all. Thanks for your patience. I had some burnout and needed space. I'm glad I reset and came back...to cause chaos.
Well, I'm gonna let this simmer. And I'll be back...soon?