Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
The Magic Word
Snape scowled as he loomed over Lee's and Alicia's Cauldron. "Five points from Gryffindor, Mr. Jordan. That is not how we address faculty members at Hogwarts".
Behind Lee and Alicia sat Fred and George. They had their heads bent over their cauldrons to hide their snickering faces from Snape. Not that they were fooling anyone. The class hadn't started yet, and as such their cauldrons were not lit. And there was nothing brewing inside of them, so they really had no reason to be sticking their heads so close to it. "I apologize sir", Lee said in a voice that suggested the contrary. "I will not address you as school teacher Snape again."
Snape, with his abnormally large nose, can always be trusted to sniff out when there was more tomfoolery underfoot. Twisted around in my seat at the front of the room, I could tell because Snape's usual dour look had adopted an air of conflict. Like he knew Lee hadn't just used the word schoolteacher for no reason but had not yet decided if poking the bear further would be worth the headache it would undoubtedly cause him.
This morning, the boys told me that they were ready for the third game of their year-long competition. So, in secret, I gave each boy a word that they weren't allowed to say. If any of them said their word, they lost. Lee's word is 'professor'. And judging on Fred and George's body language, they had figured out Lee's magic word. Snape turned on his heel and walked back to the front of the classroom, leaving me to assume that he had reached the conclusion that it was too early for this nonsense. Wise man. Following Snape's example, I turned back around before he could find something offensive about looking over your shoulder in a classroom. Today is going to be a good day. Well… a good day as long as you're not Snape. With this new game underway, we had decided to arrive early at the potions lab. Which we never do. I think Snape was genuinely shocked to see the Gryffindor half of his class earlier than a minute before class started. We were so early that Adrian the early-bird wasn't even here yet. We probably ruined Snape's morning by breaking our normal routine.
"Hey Lee", I heard Fred say as I started to take out some parchment for notes. "Can you call professor Snape back over here?" Fred asked with a heavy emphasis on the word professor.
"Yeah", George continued. "We need to ask Professor Snape about ingredients that are used in potions that stop people from bleeding", George used a voice similar to Fred's.
"No, I will not call grand potion's master Snape, back over here". Lee answered, As Adrian suddenly appeared, slipping into his seat next to me.
"Hey", I said, as I turned to smile at my boyfriend. "Do you want to get some petty revenge on my brothers for all the pranks they pulled on you last year? Because, today-" I cut myself out as soon as I read his facial expression. His eyebrows were slanted, highlighting his grey eyes there were unusually stormy. His lips were pressed together to form a very thin line, and his nostrils flared on every exhale. "What's wrong?" I asked, feeling like I was about to take an unexpected journey.
Adrian loudly exhaled. "When I talk, do you listen?"
"Yes", I started to answer.
"Because I feel like you listen. You maintain eye contact, you generally don't interrupt me, and, on occasion, you respond appropriately". Why can't I decipher if I'm being complimented or critiqued? "Maybe it's your memory that's the problem. Tell me, do you often forget what you're doing or lose time?"
"No", I answered carefully and confused. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out what caused this mood swing. Was he going through a hormonal shift? Was there a chemical imbalance in his brain? Was his body experiencing a shortage of serotonin?
"Oh", Adrian responded with scathing sarcasm. "So, maybe it's a selective memory problem that is afflicting you. Otherwise known as only recalling what you want to".
When Adrian finally paused, probably just because he needed to take a full breath of air, I said, "I'm sorry", while feeling like I was walking around blindfolded.
"What for?" Adrian demanded to know.
Merlin, it's a shame that I'm not an American in this life. If I was, then I'd plead the fifth. "I have no idea", I answered honestly. "It just feels like it's the correct answer".
Adrian huffed and looked away from me; busying himself with his school supplies. Quickly, I searched my noggin for …. Whatever could be the cause of this. His birthday hadn't happened yet. We weren't the type to celebrate something ridiculous like a one-month or two-month anniversary. Did I miss Arbor day? When humor didn't reveal the real answer to me, I tried to regain Adrian's attention. "Adrian", I called.
And he grunted at me. Him. Adrian, the old man in a young person's body. The person who lives and breathes manners and maintains public appearances. I guess it's good to know there is a teenage boy somewhere under all that pomp and circumstance.
"Adrian", I tried again. "We won't be able to kiss and make up until you tell me what I did wrong".
"You would like that wouldn't you?", Adrian retorted.
Was that a trick question? "Yes", I answered slowly as I thought about how the strangest things always seemed to happen in Snape's class.
"Because then you wouldn't have to invent stories to torment Stimpson with. You would be able to tell her the truth when you make off-handed comments about how talented I am at using my tongue", Adrian spoke bitingly.
Using his tongue, I replayed in my head. "Oh", I said when it donned on me.
"Yes, 'Oh'", Adrian confirmed.
Before I could apologize for real this time. Before I could investigate why kissing comments bothered him so much, Snape drew everyone's attention to him. "Today we will begin our unit on natural antidotes that can be foraged".
"Talk later", I whispered to Adrian. And he was just mad enough that he didn't feel the need to confirm.
"Though I implore all of you to not try to find these ingredients yourselves", Snape continued. "As I refuse to be held responsible when you mistakenly misidentify a healing herb and end up poisoning yourself". That man, he just has so much faith in us.
"Aye Aye, Captain Snape", Lee blurted out from the other side of the room.
"Detention Jordan".
"Yes, Snape-Sensei".
In Lockhart's class, we were doing his favorite activity; taking turns reading from one of his books. Today's selection was Voyages with Vampires. Unfortunately, Fred wasn't living up to Lockhart's standards. "'The Vampire with his marble pale skin and glistening fangs stalked closer. I knew I only had a few precious minutes to react'", Fred read aloud. "So, I withdrew my magic stick, and I-"
"Excuse me, Mr. Weasley", Lockhart interjected. "That is not the right word. Please don't paraphrase. I don't want your classmates following along to become confused".
"Right", Fred agreed quickly. "I'll try again". He made a big show of clearing his throat and ignoring the snickers of George and Lee, who had probably just figured out his word. "'So, I withdrew my spell-casting baton, and-"
"No, no, no, no", Lockhart interrupted again as our peers started to muffle their amusement. "Mr. Weasley, are you using a bootlegged copy?"
"No, Sir" Fred answered as I turned to Adrian. With Lockhart distracted by Fred and his use of synonyms, I was confident he wouldn't notice any side conversations taking place during class.
I was struggling to judge how angry Adrian actually was. On one hand, he'd never been this frosty with me before. Not even after I locked him in the trophy room with my brothers. . On the other hand, we were still sitting together in our shared classes and he was letting me share his books since Fred and George had possession of our copies. So he couldn't be so mad that he didn't want to keep a ten-foot distance between us. "You didn't like the kissing comment I made to torment Stimpson", I whispered.
Looking up from Voyages with Vampires, Adrian gave me a look that said he wanted to crown me with the obvious award. "I especially didn't like that I had to hear about this from Stimpson in the common room, or that you said something so crude in front of my impressionable younger cousins".
I bit my lip to prevent myself from making a comment about Hestia and Flora. Because if there was one thing those girls were, impressionable wasn't it. If Adrian wasn't so angry, I probably would have commented. "I didn't think that you would hear about it", I said instead. And I truly hadn't. Sure, maybe his cousins would tell him about how they creamed me in Gobstones. Maybe Ginny would have mentioned how Stimpson had verbally insulted me in front of the first years. But I hadn't thought that Stimpson would share our exchange with him.
"You never do", Adrian whispered back with a harsher intensity. "You just say whatever you want without considering who it will affect or how it will be perceived".
I opened and closed my mouth a couple of times; unsure if I agreed with that observation. And unsure that, if I did disagree with it, if I wanted to argue that it wasn't true. "My dear boy, I am simply flummoxed about why you can't say the word, wand", I heard Lockhart say as I paused to think.
But Adrian wasn't done yet. After taking a deep breath he continued to whisper his grievances. "How do you think I felt when Stimpson marches up to me when I am socializing with my acquaintances and loudly proclaims that my girlfriend is a floozy".
Well… Wasn't that nice? "Floozy", I repeated. Causing Adriana to nod. Somehow, I think that's worse than being called a lickspittle.
"Among other things", Adrian added. A moment passed of us locking eyes. He was visibly deflating now that the problem was out of the open. While I was starting to feel some self-reproach for the discomfort that I had undoubtedly caused him. "Do you remember", Adrian started to ask. "That day when we took a walk around the lake".
"Yes, it was very nice", I answered.
Though Adrian continued as if I hadn't said anything. "And we talked about reputations and how damaging a bad one can be. And that I wouldn't do anything to give you a bad name".
"Yes, that was very big of you", I whispered.
"Except that does little good, if my own girlfriend is soiling her own name; making lewd comments about how talented my tongue is", He finished that statement with a pointed glare.
"In my defense", I said as Lockhart gave up on getting Fred to say the word wand, and decided that it was George's turn to start reading. "It was only one comment. And it gave you major cred in the man department".
Adrian stared at me blankly, suggesting he didn't care about man-cred in the slightest. Interesting. I don't think I've ever dated a guy who didn't care about man-cred. "I'd prefer it if you didn't share our personal business. Especially when you're just trying to torture others". Yeah, I guess that's fair.
"Does it help that Stimpson was the one who started it?" Adrian answered my question by snorting and turning to a random page in Voyages with Vampires. Even though there was no point in doing so. It's not like either of us was paying any attention in this class. "So, what do I have to do to get you to forgive me for Stimpson's floozy comment?" I asked instead.
Adrian hummed softly. Probably relishing in the sudden power he had over me. "You can start by telling me why your brother can't use the word 'wand'".
"Dobby is most pleased to be here", Dobby said as a greeting the moment we arrived at the room of requirement.
"Thanks, Dobby", I said as we took in the room. Apparently, for freeing an enslaved house-elf the appropriate décor consisted of dim lighting, leather couches, and throw pillows. Lots and lots of throw pillows. Okay, room of requirement. You do you. "Any problems getting here?" I asked as Fred pulled out one of Percy's socks from his robe pocket. He had gone to great lengths to steal one from Percy. Not that any of us cared if we lost a sock. We just thought Percy would go bonkers if he owned one sock that did not have a match. It was an opportunity we couldn't pass up.
"No Miss", Dobby answered as my brother and I sat down on one of the couches. "Me's family went to bed on time".
"Time?" George snorted as he made himself comfortable, and Fred started sniggering to himself. "The Malfoys have bedtimes?"
"Yes, sir", Dobby answered. Not seeing why we found amusement in this fact.
"Here Dobby", Fred said as he handed the sock over to the house-elf for him to examine. "Any idea on how we can trick Malfoy into giving you this sock?" He asked out of curiosity. Of course, it didn't have to be this specific sock. But having a focal point can be helpful.
Dobby took the sock with a shrug. "With magic sir", he answered in a very to-the-point manner. I cleared my throat as the boys choked on a chuckle. Right, our mistake. I'm not sure why we never considered using magic.
"We thought that we'd pick your brain about the Malfoys tonight and work on a plan the next time we meet", I said once I found some composure. Between Lee, Stimpson, Adrian, and now Dobby, I was finding it increasingly difficult to refrain from sarcasm.
Dobby nodded as he continued to study Percy's old sock. As if it held the answers to the universe. Meanwhile, Fred and George were brainstorming. "Would the sock still count as a sock if we transfigured it?" George asked.
"What if we got Dobby to disguise himself as a student?" Fred pondered. "That would be the easiest way to trick Malfoy into handing him an object".
"Disguise?" I asked myself as I pulled my attention away from the house-elf. "Like a polyjuice potion?" Fred nodded. "Would polyjuice work on a non-human?" It was a fair question. We knew that people couldn't use polyjuice to change into an animal. But there was nothing, as far as we knew, about if a non-human could use polyjuice to turn into a human.
George shook his head before we could fall too deep into that rabbit hole. "It'll take too much time to brew a Polyjuice potion". And he was 100% correct. Freeing Dobby was important, but we couldn't ignore the diary either. The longer we had it, the more likely something was going to go wrong.
Fred turned to Dobby. "What can you tell us about Draco Malfoy that would make you punish yourself later", he asked; phrasing his question carefully.
Dobby blinked his big eyes twice before lowering the sock and fixing his eyes on us. "The young master is…" Nervously, Dobby started to twist his ears.
"What if we played twenty questions instead?" I asked, trying to keep this from escalating. "We'll ask yes or no questions about Malfoy and all you have to do is nod or shake your head".
Dobby twisted his ears as he thought about it. But when he deemed it agreeable, he lowered his hands and nodded.
"Okay", George said as he clapped a hand on one of his knees; completely on board. He looked left and right at both Fred and me. But when neither of us had a question prepared, George stepped up. "Is Malfoy observant?"
A shake of Dobby's head.
"Is he afraid of anything?" Fred asked.
Dobby nodded his head.
"Is his fear something we'd be able to guess?" I asked.
Slowly, Dobby nodded his head; having thought about it first. George asked the next question. Then Fred, followed by me. And around and around we went; asking anything that popped into our heads that could be formed into a yes or no question. At one point, Fred got a quill and some parchment to help us remember everything. Dobby was a good sport throughout, but he never relaxed. He stood standing the entire time with his shoulders hunched. Kind of like how we'd act when Mum was trying to pull the truth from us. It made us mindful of potential boundaries Dobby may have. Or at least, until he was free. After that, we may have to revisit this conversation to get some juicer details.
Nearing the end of our Wednesday meeting, Fred reviewed what we were able to deduce so far. "So we know that Malfoy's smart", Fred begrudgingly commented. "But not when he's scared. And he's scared of the dark".
"We can use that", George chimed in with me nodding in agreement.
"He's also only observant if he's trying to be", Fred continued.
"So whatever plan we come up with, it'll have to count on catching him unawares", I added.
Fred nodded as he folded the parchment and slipped it into his pocket. "It's a start", he agreed; refusing to take Percy's sock when Dobby offered it to him. "Keep it. Might as well get used to having socks. You'll own plenty soon enough".
Watery hope shined in Dobby's eyes as he clutched the sock close to his chest. Hopefully, Dobby never learned that the reason why we had given it to him in the first place to was terrorize our older brother. That knowledge might ruin the sentimentality behind the gesture.
But the hopeful expression slipped off Dobby's face as if slowly came conflicted. "Sirs and Miss", Dobby asked as he looked at the three of us. "Yous is doing so much to help Dobby… About the diary, what if Dobby cannot help? All you Weasleys are in danger."
Fred looked at me. I looked at George, and George looked at Fred. In sync, we shrugged. "We'll figure it out". I mean, we have to. It's not like this is something we could walk away from now that the diary was in our possession.
"Worst-case scenario will just have to ask someone else for help. Like…" Fred looked wistfully at me. "Like Dumbledore". I understood why. Informing Dumbledore about the diary would mean letting him in on our not-so-little secret. It definitely would have to be a last resort.
"Or someone else", I said; neither accepting nor rejecting the Dumbledore plan. "Someone else who knows how to defeat dark magic". I described instead of listing names; knowing no one who could fill that role and wouldn't demand answers from us.
George snorted. "Maybe the great and conquering hero, Lockhart can help us".
I rolled my eyes but was grateful for the attempt at levity. "Oh yes, Lockhart the defeater of all things evil will definitely be able to destroy the diary".
"Such a shame that destroying the diary wouldn't be a long enough adventure to turn into a book, otherwise I'd say we should ask him", Fred said, adding to our round-robin game of sarcastic humor.
"How do you think he'd do it?" I asked, just to keep this bit going.
George answered with a shrug. "Probably just like he did in Voyages with Vampires. With his wand and cascading spells consisting of magical superiority".
"It's such a pity he wasn't teaching here last year", Fred said so sardonically that I could taste it.
"I know", I said, playing along. "We would have learned so much