Ramen Doodles
By Andrew J. Talon
Disclaimer: I do not and probably never will own Naruto or any other copyrighted works mentioned in this story. I am not writing this for profit.
A beautiful red headed woman entered the Konoha mission office. 5 pounds of solid gold now rested on the table in front of the Hokage.
"I require a team of shinobi to aid me in finding my lost husband. He was last seen in this area between thirteen and fifteen years ago," she said. "He had been missing for several decades before then."
"Your... Husband?" Sarutobi managed. His eyes widened as the woman sprouted fox ears, and nine bushy tails.
"Yes. My. Husband," she growled.
Team 7 chose this moment to walk in through the doors, and before Sarutobi could speak the kitsune turned around and glared right at Naruto's stomach.
"And where have you been?!" She demanded. "I ask you to go to the store for some milk and eggs, and you up and vanish on me for almost a century! I know being your wife can be troublesome but I have needs damnit! Needs you have not fulfilled."
She strode over to the shocked Naruto, knelt down and jabbed him in the belly.
"The least you could have done is bring me back some fried tofu!"
Her cheeks grew red and she smiled warmly.
"However...I think I can let bygones be bygones..."
She pulled the shocked Naruto into a tight embrace and hummed happily.
"Now for the makeup sex!"
"I NEED AN ADULT! I NEED AN ADULT!" Naruto shrieked.
Written by IHev9Sun
Meanwhile inside Naruto
"Why are you blaming me?! It wasn't my fault some edgy Uchiha bastard wanted to use my bijuu-damas as pebbles to throw on his star-crossed lover's window at night! "
Kurama scoffed, "Your needs? Oh boo hoo! You must have been so tired sitting on that couch for the past few decades meanwhile I've been kidnapped and enslaved by a village of psychopaths! And what took you to start searching for me here? Konoha is literally next door! B**ch, fuck your fried tofu! I'd like to see you try and stay sane while being crucified on a ball of molten lava!"
"Wait... what are you doing? No wait! Don't hug that brat, hug me instead! I take it back, I take it back! I'm sorry I didn't buy the tofu just please don't take off his shirt!"
The Kyuubi is obviously not an actual kitsune, as in Japanese mythology. But the fandom has written it like one for literally decades. So why not have some actual fun with it?