Will You Teach Me…
Hello everyone !
The new chapter is here! I hope you like it and do not hesitate to leave a small comment at the end, just to tell me that you were here, what you liked (or not)... I don't usually beg for reviews but this fiction requires a lot of work... Every week, I spend hours and hours writing, then translating into another language and it's a bit disappointing to see that 99% of people read and never say anything about it... I swear I'm a nice girl and I won't bite (not without your consent). All right, I won't bother you any longer and please enjoy this new chapter!
Thanks NinaBinaBallerina, Rath101, Lumi and LykkeF for your reviews!
NinaBinaBallerina: Thank you, my dear ! Hope you enjoy this!
Rath101: hmmm let's not forget Jemmy is a tiny little boy whose daddy rejected him. He might fall into the first fatherly arms that will open for him… Thanks for your review, darling!
Lumi: Thank you so much for all the love and support! Ahahah It's a bit too soon for Phaedre to be seduced by Bonnet, she is and always will be loyal to Brianna and Jocasta. But she definitely has a big part to play in this story… ;)
LykkeF: well, Brianna's first nights alone with Bonnet are certainly going to be quite busy! (As you'll see in a few seconds) Lol. Thanks for your comment!
oOo
6. A Nightmare To Remember
After his tantrum, Jemmy had clung to Phaedre's skirt all day, following her around like a duckling chasing his mother. Well, almost all day. Much to Brianna's annoyance, he had only left the maid to throw himself into Bonnet's arms, when the latter had finally got out of the living room, escorted by two sinister-looking men. The pirate had lifted Jemmy with a satisfied smile, throwing him in the air to make him laugh, before putting him back on the ground to show his visitors the way out.
Brianna almost wished her son was one of those shy kids, who hid away from any unfamiliar face and cried whenever they were not in their mother's arms. She wasn't exactly jealous, rather horrified by the ease with which Jemmy had accepted Bonnet into his living space.
Shortly before noon, Jocasta Cameron Innes had left the estate in a carriage pulled by four of her finest horses. Helped on one side by Ulysses and on the other by Brianna, she hadn't been able to keep her hands from shaking and her empty eyes from filling with tears as she climbed into the vehicle, while Bonnet watched the scene from the porch with an exasperating grin.
Brianna had stood in the driveway for a long time, watching the carriage drive away in the suffocating heat. The last member of her family had just left her, indefinitely, heralding the start of a new life. A life in which every minute spent in Bonnet's company would be a battle, against him but also against herself, her own traumas and the terror that would surely consume her. Everything would soon become extremely complicated and she would have to think about her every move, her every word if she wanted to survive, to be able to keep Jeremiah and to find a way to bring Bonnet down for his many crimes. And all of that without dying of fright every time he would get close to her... or worse.
During the afternoon, the English soldiers had left, replaced by several convoys of men chosen by Bonnet to replace the former house staff. None of them seemed kind enough to become a potential ally to Brianna and they were throwing such disgusting and lustful glances at Phaedre, that both women soon retreated with Jemmy near the pond and stayed there until it was time for the child to have dinner. They had then moved back to the kitchens under the cool, neutral gaze of the new cook. As Phaedre was showing the man where to find the kitchenware, Brianna helped Jemmy to eat his plate of beans. But he seemed more interested in the new cook, a certain Fitzpatrick, than in the spoon his mother held out in front of his mouth. When the kitchen door opened on Bonnet, startling them all – even Fitzpatrick – he snapped his fingers impatiently at the maid.
"You… follow me."
"Yes, Sir...", Phaedre replied immediately with a brief curtsey. As she crossed the room, Bonnet's eyes landed on Brianna and Jemmy (who was grinning at him, his small teeth covered with chewed beans) and he raised an eyebrow.
"Why doesn't he have dinner with us?"
Because I can't take care of his education and yours at the same time?, Brianna thought without looking at him. She took a quiet breath, put on a neutral expression, and swiveled on her seat.
"Because we are eating way too late for him. He has to go to bed early."
She could tell by Bonnet's face that he had not yet said his last word on the matter, but Phaedre was already waiting for him outside the kitchen and he closed the door with an annoyed sigh. Jeremiah had finished dinner for about twenty minutes – and was already nodding off in his mother's arms – when the maid reappeared to put him to bed. The young girl seemed eager to talk to Brianna but closed her mouth shut when Bonnet appeared in turn to lead his wife into the dining room. Grabbing a wine carafe, he filled two glasses, gave one to Brianna and took a long sip from his.
"Well? How was your day, darlin'?", he asked cheerfully, sitting comfortably on his chair.
My day? He kicked my family out, invited a bunch of strangers into the house and now he's asking me about my day? Disbelief and anger had to be written all over her face because Bonnet's smile immediately disappeared and he bit his lower lip with a fake apologetic look. "Oh, I forgot… Perhaps I should save that question for… tomorrow?"
Even in a fucking millennium, my answer would be the same, but yeah, try again tomorrow…, Brianna thought, as a footman brought their plates. Facing the young woman's silent treatment, Bonnet took another sip of wine and glanced awkwardly at the cold salads and the simple grilled meat they had just been served.
"Our cook did not have much time to get acquainted with his new environment. The quality of the meals should improve very soon."
I don't give a fuck about your stupid meals, Stephen… To compensate for her bitter thoughts, Brianna gave him her brightest smile and he was taken aback for a moment. It only lasted a few seconds, however, and his surprised look soon turned into a frown.
"Would you please speak your answers out loud instead o' thinkin' them? This way, we could have an actual conversation", he retorted sharply, his Irish accent stronger than ever.
A shiver ran down Brianna's spine and she had the unpleasant feeling that he could read her mind. No, my face was just too easy to read, that's all...
"You're holding your glass wrong. Don't grab the stem like you do… just hold it gently."
Bonnet blinked, annoyed that she only used her voice to scold him, but he immediately repositioned his fingers around the glass and raised it with a smirk. "Oh I will be gentle tonight, darlin', if that's what you want..."
The hint wasn't even subtle and Brianna nearly choked on her wine, as her heart sped up. She started to eat mechanically, without a glance or a word for the Irishman, her mind entirely focused on one thing: get out of the table as quickly as possible, run upstairs and lock herself in her room with Jeremiah. Bonnet must have sensed her panic as he no longer tried to start a conversation and they finished dinner in silence, until Brianna couldn't stand it and left the dining room. She stopped on the second-floor landing and doubled over: fear twisted her insides and she had to force herself to take deep, slow breaths to calm down. Silently, she dragged herself to her bedroom and stared at her son, who was already sleeping soundly in her large four-poster bed.
"Mr. Bonnet had me move all your things into Mrs. Cameron's room… and he took away the keys", Phaedre whispered behind her back, startling her. "Your room will now be Jeremiah's…"
Brianna started to shake at the thought of sharing Bonnet's bed for the first time, and grabbed the doorframe so she wouldn't collapse on the floor. After one sleepless night and an exhausting day, she was tired beyond words but already knew that sleeping by his side would be impossible. Let alone if he tried to touch her. He would not restrain himself for long. Glancing painfully at Jeremiah – all alone in her old bed, in the same room she had given him birth – Brianna silently closed the door and turned to Phaedre.
"Could you please try to wake Jemmy up?", she whined.
Phaedre opened her mouth, but could not give any answer. Bonnet had just arrived on the landing and after a brief glance at both women, entered Jocasta's old room. The maid waited a few more seconds, then whispered:
"Think about it, Madam… What good would that do to you? Mr. Bonnet could write to the Judge and tell him you refuse to fulfill your marital duties… and you will lose Jeremiah for good."
"I can't go through this again, Phaedre… I can't let him… I do not have that kind of strength."
"Things have changed, Madam. He is no longer a rapist in a tavern, he's your husband", the maid whispered.
"There is no difference to me", Brianna spat, angrily wiping a tear from her cheek.
"And yet there is one under the law… and he's taking advantage of it."
There was a series of creaks echoing in the corridor and Brianna closed her eyes. Aunt Jocasta's bed had always been horribly noisy, so much so that she and Roger used to giggle stupidly in their own room when they heard her go to bed, joking about how embarrassed the house staff must have been when her previous husband, the late Hector Cameron, would proceed with his manly duties. But tonight, she did not feel like laughing at that stupid noise, but rather like throwing herself out the nearest window.
"He is in bed...", Phaedre unnecessarily commented. "Come on."
Gently squeezing Brianna's elbow, the young girl walked to the master bedroom and knocked twice before entering. Brianna followed her slowly, being careful not to look towards the bed as she crossed the room. She could feel Bonnet's eyes on her, following her every step, her every move, until she disappeared behind the dressing screen in the corner.
Phaedre proceeded to take off her dress, with slow movements, and Brianna realized that she was just trying to buy time, staying with her as long as possible. Out of the corner of her eye, over the screen that didn't go above her chin, she saw the pirate lying on the mattress – one leg folded and one arm behind his head – patiently waiting for her to put on her nightgown. Once this was done, Phaedre heard Brianna's breathing quicken and gently offered:
"Would you like me to brush your hair, Madam?"
Brianna lifted up her teary and grateful eyes and nodded. They both knew full well that Brianna never asked her to do such simple tasks. Unlike the women of this time, she always insisted on washing, dressing up and combing her hair alone, except on special occasions requiring more complex outfits and hairstyles. But this time, she was ready to make an exception. If only to take advantage of Phaedre's reassuring presence for a few more minutes.
The maid walked over to the dressing table, pulling out the chair. Brianna stepped outside, feeling uncomfortably naked despite the long nightgown covering her up to the ankles, and sat down. There was movement on Bonnet's side, but not the slightest noise – except for the bed. Phaedre undid Brianna's bun, letting her crazy curls cascade down her shoulders, and grabbed a brush to untangle them. With extreme slowness. Eager to act like a gentleman, Bonnet never gave any sign of impatience, and after ten minutes Brianna wondered if he had just fallen asleep. Not only was he awake, but he also seemed to enjoy the show.
A few minutes later, it became clear that the brush slid way too easily in Bree's hair and Phaedre gave up the act. They had stalled long enough and any other man would have lost patience and kicked the maid out a long time ago. Phaedre put the brush back on the dressing table and discreetly squeezed Brianna's shoulder before bidding them good night. Brianna's throat was so tight that she couldn't answer, and remained seated on her chair for a moment after she was gone. Like a robot and still avoiding Bonnet's eyes, she walked over to the bed to sit on the other side, turning her back to him. The bed creaked again and she winced, her eyes closed, before leaning over to the small nightstand where one last candle was still burning. She blew it. Whatever happened next, she'd rather see as little as possible. Let her imagination embellish reality. Carrying her far, far away from here and far away from him.
Darkness fell upon them and she laid down on her side, pulling the blanket over her body, stupidly hoping that it would protect her from Bonnet. During a few seconds, absolutely nothing happened, until the pirate moved on the mattress to bring his body closer to hers. Brianna felt an icy chill run down her spine despite the heat that seemed to emanate from the pirate, suffocating her. Her heart raced when one of Bonnet's hands rested on her left leg, slowly sliding her nightgown up her thighs to her hips. When the fabric was high enough for his liking, his fingers brushed her bare skin and Brianna flinched. Surprisingly, it stopped Bonnet's gesture, causing his hand to hover a few inches above her hip and she remained as still as death, her heart pounding. Then he moved closer again, this time pressing his chest against her back. As gently as he had rolled the nightgown up, he pulled the fabric back to her knees and rested his hand on her hip, squeezing delicately.
"Am I supposed to ask for your permission?", he breathed against her shoulder. His tone was neither aggressive nor bitter. It was an actual question, but Brianna was too tense to answer. She nodded nervously, unable to tell if he could even see her in the dark. Bonnet's hand tightened his grip on her, and Brianna thought for a moment that he had mistaken her nod for consent. But instead, he rolled her onto her back, forcing her to look at him. In this position, with his face just above hers, grim memories resurfaced in Brianna's mind and she squirmed nervously, casting panicked glances towards the exit. Until he grabbed her chin between two fingers, and she froze like a lizard faking its death to escape a predator. He was going to ask. He was going to ask for her permission and she would be unable to answer. And he would send her back to Fraser's Ridge without Jemmy before she even knew it...
Bonnet's lips parted, but just as he was about to say the fateful words, a cry echoed down the hall and he looked up, staring at their bedroom door in surprise. In Brianna's old room, Jemmy was crying at the top of his tiny lungs and his mother suppressed a sigh of relief.
Phaedre… Oh my dear, dear Phaedre…, Brianna thought, ready to burst into tears. Capitalizing on his surprise, she jumped out of bed and ran into the corridor, while Bonnet dropped back on the mattress with a frustrated growl. The hallway was empty and Brianna deduced that Phaedre had taken flight immediately after her crime.
"Jemmy… Shhh… It's okay…", Brianna whispered as she walked into the room.
The poor boy was hiccupping and sobbing all at the same time, and Brianna couldn't help but feel guilty. "Monster scared meeeee!"
"It was just a nightmare… A simple nightmare… There is no monster in this room, and if there was one, Mama scared him away…" Quite right, indeed, she added inwardly. "Do you want me to stay with you tonight?"
The child nodded, much to Brianna's delight and she slipped under the sheets, hugging her son and stroking his hair. About twenty minutes later, Jemmy was asleep again sucking on his scarf. The bed creaked in the master bedroom and Brianna shivered. As expected, Bonnet was getting impatient and she did her best to keep her breathing relaxed and controlled. But the closer Bonnet was, the harder it got. When she heard him enter the bedroom, she closed her eyes and froze, pretending to be asleep. She could feel him near the bed, just behind her back. She could not flinch, she could not jump when he would surely touch her. With all her senses on high alert, Brianna waited for him to try something, to check that she was asleep. But all she felt was a hand pulling the sheets up to Jeremiah's neck. Half-opening her eyelids, she saw the hand brush past Jemmy's blond hair, then her own – just behind her right ear – before disappearing again. Brianna's heart was pounding in her rib cage, so hard that she could only hear the blood pumping in her eardrums. Each of her muscles was tense, and she felt a slight cramp in her right calf... Until Jocasta's bed creaked again, causing such relief that her whole body relaxed in a second and started to shake uncontrollably.
Bonnet had given up for tonight.
The same process was repeated four nights in a row. Phaedre spent an amazingly long time preparing Brianna for the night, under her husband's lustful gaze, then left the room. Bonnet made an approach on Brianna, who remained as petrified as a deer caught in headlights. Once or twice, he had had time to kiss her – kisses she had never returned, keeping her lips pursed. On the third night, he had tried to rush things a bit, nibbling languidly at the crook of her neck. Brianna's skin had immediately covered with goosebumps and she had almost let out a cry of relief when Jemmy started screaming. But although he seemed increasingly annoyed by these interruptions, he had never done anything to force Brianna back into their room.
Until the fifth night. When Phaedre left them alone, Bonnet followed her with his eyes until she closed the door behind her and Brianna shivered. He was suspecting something and if he decided to go out and catch the maid red-handed, they would both be in serious trouble. When he headed for the door to put his ear against it and wait for any suspicious comings and goings, Brianna rose from her chair. Placing both hands on his chest, she gave him a shy glance. The kind of glance that all men who enjoyed having power over women were unable to resist. Immediately losing all desire to spy on the maid, Bonnet gently pushed her back towards the mattress and sat her on the edge, before kneeling on the floor. With a firm hand, he made her lie on her back and pulled her nightgown up to her stomach. A moment later, he had grasped her thighs and buried his face between them, his tongue caressing the most intimate parts of her body. Brianna had closed her eyes, desperately waiting to be saved by the bell – or rather her son's screams – and praying that Phaedre would be as quick to sneak off as the other nights.
The next three minutes seemed to last forever. Although Bonnet did everything he could to pleasure her, Brianna resisted by remembering the most squalid details of her rape in the tavern. Never forget who he was. What he had done to her.
After a particularly well-placed stroke of his tongue, Brianna let out an unfortunate moan – instantly blaming herself for it – and had to fight the urge to kick the predator away from his prey. Luckily, Jeremiah started crying at that exact moment and Brianna let out a second moan, of relief this time. Bonnet's growl, on the other hand, sounded so angry and frustrated that she almost snickered. Sitting up on the mattress and faking disappointment, she whispered: "Another nightmare… I have to go."
But as she tried to get up, Bonnet's strong arm pushed her back onto the bed. "You… you stay here."
Brianna's face fell. She could tell by his dark gaze and clenched jaw that he was furious. Hoping to de-escalate the situation, she smiled softly and shrugged. "It's fine, I don't mind..."
Bonnet ignored her and, wiping his lips on his sleeve, stormed out of the room. Oh my God, Jemmy…, Brianna thought immediately. Furious as he was, Bonnet would surely take it out on the kid, blaming him for every lonely night of the week… Maybe he would even… hit him? Oh no, no, no, no… Ignoring the pirate's order, Brianna readjusted her nightgown and walked silently down the corridor. Not a sound came out of Jeremiah's open door. But Bonnet wasn't taking revenge on her son. Worse: he had taken the boy in his arms and was clumsily patting his back, groaning "There... there...".
"Monster came back...", Jemmy whined, snuggling up against Bonnet's shoulder.
"A monster? In your bedroom?", he frowned, while Jemmy nodded, sniffling loudly. "That monster… Does it come here… every night?"
"Yes... Mama says he don't exist. I try to be brave and hide... But he pinched my foot!"
"You don't say...", Bonnet growled icily. "Looks like Mama really underestimated this… monster…"
Fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!, Brianna swore internally before rushing back to their room. Bonnet had turned around to leave Jeremiah's, carrying the child in his arms in the corridor.
"What d'zit mean? On-the-restimate?", Jemmy asked, while his mother tried to climb into bed without a sound. Unfortunately, the whole piece of furniture protested loudly under her weight and she winced, as Bonnet rolled his eyes on the other side of the wall.
"It means that she thinks he's a fool...", he muttered, pushing the bedroom door open. Brianna looked perfectly serene, but her exaggerated smile when they appeared didn't fool him for a second. Putting the child down, he closed the door and Jemmy ran towards the bed so that Brianna would help him climb on the mattress. "I think Jeremiah should sleep with us tonight and a few other nights after that. Perhaps he will stop havin' those mysterious nightmares that always happen when his parents go to bed. Don't you agree, darlin'?"
Despite his sweet tone, Bonnet's gaze was ice cold. He had figured out what was going on, but instead of getting angry, he had offered to have Jemmy sleep in their bed. Thereby giving up on any attempt to consummate their marriage for a little while.
"Yes! Yes, of course!", she exclaimed with a broad smile. Maybe too broad. Even if her plan had gone down the pan, Jemmy's presence in their bed would keep her safe for a few days and at this point, that was all she needed. Cradling Jemmy against her, she watched as Bonnet lied down again on his side, facing her. He glared at her for a few minutes, to make it clear that he would get his revenge somehow, but Brianna ignored him – focusing on Jemmy, smiling and babbling – until Bonnet ended up turning his back on them. The child seemed quite puzzled, however, by the man's presence and as Brianna tried to fall asleep, his tiny voice echoed in the room.
"Mamaaaa?"
"Yes, Jemmy?"
"Why you not sleepin' wi' daddy?"
A sneer escaped Bonnet's mouth and Brianna opened her eyes wide, not knowing what to say. She had expected these questions sooner or later, but she had hoped that he wouldn't ask them in front of the pirate. Precisely to avoid this: turning around, Bonnet flashed his smuggest smile at Jemmy. "Well, actually, Mama is sleepin' with daddy now..."
"Shut up…", Brianna hissed threateningly, but Bonnet ignored her.
"Comb on, darlin', he's old enough to know the truth. Aren't you, Jeremiah?"
The word "old" had been spoken and Jemmy immediately nodded with conviction.
"I am your daddy."
Jeremiah frowned and turned his doubtful face towards Brianna. However, Bonnet's threatening gaze was defying her to contradict him on pain of immediate retaliation and she just shrugged awkwardly.
"Never saw you before", Jemmy said, turning towards Bonnet again.
This time, it was too good to pass up and Brianna answered before the Irishman. "Because he was in jail… where bad people who do bad things go." As expected, Jemmy's eyes widened. He had already heard about jail: it was a place where grown-ups who did stupid things were sent to, and that was why children like himself always had to listen to their Mama, otherwise they would end up in jail later. Bonnet clicked his tongue in annoyance, but he still forced a smile on his face.
"That is true. It happened before you were born, though. I was a disreputable man back then. Buht… ", he raised his index finger towards the ceiling before pointing it at Brianna, "… your Mama came to tell me that you were in her belly and after that… I did everythin' I could to be worthy of you and her… To have a nice house… You do like livin' in River Run, don't you?"
Jemmy smiled, nodding vigorously. "In River Run, I have Phaed' and Mama. At Grandpa's and Grandma's, Mama always busy."
"I do like River Run too", Bonnet said, flicking Jemmy's nose and causing the boy to chuckle. He saw Brianna roll her eyes but ignored her. "That's why I was gone for the last few years and you thought your daddy was that bloody fool MacKenzie. Because I worked hard, so we could live here together, as we should. What do you think, son? Would you rather be here with us or with your other daddy?"
Jeremiah frowned, but the time he took to think was extremely short considering the importance of the question. "Daddy didn't like me."
"That's not true, Jem-", Brianna began, forcing him to look at her, but the child pushed her away.
"Yes, 'is true! Am not a liar!"
Brianna pursed her lips. Even three-year-old Jeremiah had sensed Roger's mistrust and she mentally cursed the Scot's bad temper for pushing Jemmy a little more into the pirate's arms.
"Better here wit' Mama", the child concluded snuggling up against her.
Bonnet's smile widened. "And with me?"
Jemmy shrugged. He was not sure whether he liked this new face, even though the man had given him a scarf and told Phaedre to stay. Brianna smirked, but Bonnet didn't seem to mind this slight setback and brushed Jeremiah's cheek with his finger. "That's a big question that does not require an immediate answer... All in good time."
Jeremiah seemed to relax and Brianna tightened her grip around his small figure, as Bonnet turned to blow out the candle and plunge the room into darkness.
~o~
Brianna had waited for Bonnet's breathing to become slow and steady to finally relax and try to fall asleep. Her body had remained on high alert, however, for every time he moved or rolled around in his sleep, her own eyelids sprung open. To say that the pirate had a restless sleep was an understatement: Brianna had been awoken at least half a dozen times, when Bonnet let out a series of nervous grunts, thrashing about under the sheets. It was weird to think that a man like him had nightmares: were you not supposed to have a conscience or to be afraid of something? Two things that did not fit her idea of the Irishman.
She had fallen asleep for good shortly before dawn, exhausted but appeased by the presence of Jeremiah's small body against hers. The boy had woken up at sunrise, and not really knowing what to do in this unknown room – lying next to a stranger who claimed to be his father – he had sought comfort in a familiar gesture. Even though Mama had recently stopped breastfeeding him, he still liked to snuggle up and put his cheek against her breast, especially when Daddy gave him nasty looks – something that had happened quite often lately. At that moment, Mama moved in her sleep and Jeremiah pulled on her nightgown to uncover part of her chest. He settled comfortably against the soft skin, lulled by the steady beats of her heart.
To his left, the man was awake and Jemmy gave him a worried look. Daddy hated it when he took ownership of Mama's breast, saying that he was way too big for that, but Jemmy knew he was just jealous. Would this man be jealous too? He didn't seem like it. Lying on his side, one hand supporting his head, Bonnet watched the child huddled against Bree's bare chest, with a crooked smile. Both happy and surprised by the man's reaction, Jemmy smiled back and turned to hide his face between his mother's breasts. Great, this new daddy would not shoo him away. Even better, he heard Bonnet chuckle.
"Luhcky bugger…", the man muttered, reaching out to ruffle the boy's hair. Jemmy didn't know what a lucky bugger was, but the man's tone and his touch weren't aggressive, so it couldn't be a bad thing. Moreover, unlike daddy, he made no move to separate him from Mama. That's why, despite the rising sun and his growing hunger, Jemmy closed his eyelids and decided that nothing and no one – this morning at least – would prevent him from enjoying this all too rare moment of bliss.
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That's it for today. A shorter chapter, I know, but that's because the next one is 3 or 4 pages longer, I hope that will make up for it! Stephen and Brianna are starting a sick game of cat and mouse, and believe me it's not going to get better. Bonnet has full power over his family and he knows it...
Anyway… I have to say this chapter was pretty "cute" overall, but it was just a trick to put you at ease. You are absolutely not ready for the next one… x) What do you think will happen?
Let me know in the comments! Until then, I wish you a happy February and see you in 3 weeks!
Xérès