Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Train Wreck

Sitting in a compartment by the window, I had my elbows balanced on my knees and my hands covering my face. Of all the ways Fred, George, and Adrian could have potentially been brought together to form a unified front, this was not how I imagined it occurring. "Why are you so strange?" Adrian asked from where he was sitting next to me; closest to the door. "You understand why abruptly stating you want to teach the dark arts at Hogwarts is strange, right?" Adrian asked like he needed to make sure I understood where he was coming from.

I nodded but didn't pick my head up from my hands. "I… had to say something", I tried to defend myself. But it sounded weak even to my ears.

From the other side of the compartment, Fred snorted. "And the dark arts were the first thing that came to mind?" He asked without expecting an answer. This time, I raise my head so I can scowl at my brother. He should know… or at least, I hoped he knew I had a reason to bring up the dark arts to Lockhart/Riddle. And why I couldn't explain myself while Adrian was with us.

"You know me, Fred", I glowered. "The dark arts are my go-to excuse from avoiding psychotic professors to getting out of helping Mum with the laundry". Sarcasm dripped off every word as Fred grinned sardonically at me. He knew I was in a difficult spot with Adrian and he thought I deserved it. I'd call him a git if he wasn't right.

George chose to take a less combative approach than Fred and I. "You didn't just say something, Holls. It was like you egged him on". Something sank heavily in my gut. Yeah… Yeah, I had only encouraged Lockhart. But it wasn't like it could've been avoided. This all started when I had pointed my wand at Lockhart during that quidditch game and now I was too deep down the rabbit hole to turn back.

"Yes, thank you!" Adrian said with force as he waved a hand at George before angling his body towards me. "Holly, listen to your brother", which was something I never thought I would ever hear Adrian say. "He's surprisingly insightful".

I stare at Adrian with my mouth hanging open as George's face forms a frown. My boyfriend agreed with my brothers. And what's more, they were agreeing on the fact I had screwed up. I didn't think we were far along enough in our relationship for that to happen.

"Pucey, I'll have you know that I'm always insightful", George said in his best indignant voice.

I had to think of a way to spin this. I had to come up with a way that would make congruent sense to Adrian. It wouldn't get me off the hook. I knew that. I was okay with that as long as Adrian was convinced he didn't need to get involved in the game of cat and mouse I was playing with Lockhart. "Adrian", I said, turning to face him and choosing to ignore George. George was insightful. He'd understand. "I'm not in Lockhart's class anymore. He can't do anything to me. So, isn't it better that he's focused on me and not someone he does have access to?" I asked; hoping neither Fred nor George would answer. Because they know the answer is no. It wasn't better. Not when Lockhart had control over a basilisk.

Adrian scoffed at me in disbelief. "No, he answered rather quickly.

"Here, Here!" Fred and George chimed in the background.

"No, Holly", Adrian continued. "It's not better. What if he manages to get to you when you're alone? You couldn't even get one spell to hit me when we dueled-"

"Wait, what?" George asked.

"When did you duel our sister?" Fred asked a second after George.

"Do you honestly think you can best a fully-grown wizard?" Adrian finished his argument.

I shrugged with my palms facing upward. "I don't know". I admitted; voice coming out at a higher octave. I knew Adrian was right. Against Riddle, I didn't stand a chance. Against Lockhart… maybe. It was Lockhart after all. "If Lockhart corners me I'll… kick him in the balls", I said. And that was a pretty effective technique when dealing with males. Assuming that you kicked them hard enough. … And if they weren't straddling you with the tip of a knife pressed against your chest.

Their silence caught my attention. My eyes flickered between their faces. All of them were staring at me with dumbfounded expressions. "Jolly Holly", Fred started; sounding slightly distressed. "Do you honestly think that would work?"

"Yes", I answered easily. I was actually feeling kind of confused about why they didn't think it would. I mean, they're boys. They should get it. Adrian, Fred, and George let out groans of frustration at the same time. "I know it does", I continued; trying to turn this conversation around. "I've done it before".

"When?" George asked, sounding as if he suspected me of lying.

At the same time, Fred asked, "To who?" Meanwhile, Adrian's eyes bore into me with their steely grey gaze.

I bit my lip. I had an answer for them. It's just… this was a part of me that had been dead for a long time. "Jessie…" I started to speak very slowly. "Found it very… useful". Fred and George stared at me like they didn't know who I was anymore. While Adrian ran a hand over his face. "I had to… I mean, she had to get herself out of a few scary situations". I wasn't sure why I was still talking. Judging by the looks on Fred and George's faces, they wanted me to stop. But I didn't. "So, if Lockhart corners me, I'll be fine as long as I kick him hard enough".

"Merlin, Holly", Fred complained. "And did you try to kick the man who killed you in your last life?"

I frowned. "Fred, that's not-" But I was cut off. Adrian stood up and grabbed my upper arm; pulling me to my feet. "Adrian?" I asked.

"I'm taking her for a bit", he told my fellow triplets.

"Please do", Fred said with a haggard shake of his head.

"We could use a break", George added.

"Just bring her back before we reach King's Cross. Our mum would kill us if we lost her".

Adrian didn't look at me or say anything as he led us from train car to train car. We kept going until we got to the caboose. Even then he remained silent until we were standing outside on the little balcony cabooses have. I think they're supposed to be used as an emergency exit. Adrian lets go of my hand and turns around to slide the door closed behind us. I wait by grasping the rallying with both hands. My heart pounds furiously against my ribcage; giving me the feeling one gets when anticipating bad news.

At the speed the train is going, the icy winter winds whip around and slap our skin bitterly as the scenery blurs by. Adrian comes to stand next to me; our shoulders touching. He leans his forearms on the railings and laces his fingers together on the other side. He sighed. "You're exhausting". Adrian said loud enough for me to hear over the rushing winds. I neither confirmed nor denied it. It wasn't like I was trying to be a pain. I wasn't trying to wear Adrian out or make Fred and George go prematurely gray. I had just been… Well, it's not just me, I suppose. We all had been dealt a pretty awful hand this year.

Adrian let out an exasperated, breathless laugh. "I don't know if I want to slaughter Lockhart for putting us in this situation or throw you off this train for not listening to me".

I flinched at his words; slightly regretting coming out here with him. But I wasn't too concerned. I had faith Adrian wouldn't do the latter of those two things. "But you won't". I answered.

Adrian shook his head. "No, I won't", he agreed. "Do you know why?" I didn't get a chance to answer before he continued; leaving his question hanging in the air, unanswered. "I wouldn't be surprised if you did know, because it occurred to me that you know a fair amount about who I was. Yet, I don't know anything about who you were".

He was close. Dangerously close to things that I didn't want him to know. But at least he was still a good distance away from anything Harry Potter series-related. "You know I was an American, and a muggle". I refuted.

"You know what I mean", Adrian said with a bit more bite in his tone.

I let go of the railings with one of my hands, turning to face Adrian. He mirrored me, unlacing his fingers so we could face each other. "What happened to past lives being private?"

"So, you get to know about Regulus, but I don't get to know about Jessie?" Adrian countered.

I pressed my tongue against the back of my teeth and pulled it back; making a clicking sound. This was check and damn close to checkmate. There was no requirement for me to tell Adrian about Jessie. But not telling him would place a big gap without a bridge between us. I raised a hand to push some hair out of my face and rub my eyes. "If you knew me as Jessie, you wouldn't like me".

Adrian rolled his eyes. "If you had known me as Regulus, you would've feared me. Jessie and Regulus would have never met, but if they had, I probably would've hurt you for being something you can't control". Adrian took a step closer. I had to tilt my head back to accommodate. "Anything we feel for each other only exists between Holly and Adrian. And when you can accept who I was so easy, I struggle to understand why you think I can't accept Jessie". There was a pause as Adrian brushed a hand over the top of his hair. He looked away briefly before turning back with a new thought. "As you said, I already know you were a muggle. What could be worse than that?"

For a moment, I closed my eyes and pressed my lips together. When I opened them; the words came out. "Adrian, I wasn't a good person".

Adrian scoffed. "Neither was I".

I touched my forehead as if I had a headache. "No, I mean I wasn't a part of a group that targeted another group of people. I just…" I let go of the railing with my other hand and tapped my fingertips on top of it; momentarily getting distracted by the blurred colors of the passing scenery. "Didn't live for anything. I was empty. No purpose. No altruistic goal. I only did what felt good in the moment. The only reason I held down a job was so I could pay for fun nights out and three-day weekend trips to Las Vegas". Of course, I had also paid my own rent and bills, but that wasn't my… Jessie's main motivation. I felt like I had just swallowed a lemon, but I kept talking. "I only called my mom after she left many voicemails begging me to call her back. My older brother would text me asking for help and I'd ignore him. My friends were more designated drivers than actual friends. Hell, I had… Jessie had a new boyfriend every time daylight savings occurred". In the back of my head, I knew I was saying a lot of things Adrian wouldn't know about; Las Vegas, voicemail, texting. But that didn't seem to matter. It became too difficult to maintain eye contact, so I stared at my shoes. "Sometimes I had multiple boyfriends. I… Jessie went on dates with married men… And I didn't care who got hurt along the way." I trailed off as my voice started to sound moist. I don't like being vulnerable. To me, vulnerability was too close to unpredictability. And yet, here I was; baring all my sins before Adrian. Well… all except one. "I didn't deserve to die the way that I did. No one deserves that. But… I think dying was the best thing that happened to me".

Seconds felt like an hour as I stood rim-rod still; waiting for Adrian's judgment. Surely, I was about to become single again. Or maybe Adrian really would toss me off the back of this train. But neither of these things happened. Instead, he took my hands into his; the one that was hanging at my side and the one still tapping the railing. "Regulus would have done anything for the recognition of our… his parents. Even though he knew whatever he did would never be enough". With a deep breath, I found the strength to look up. Adrian's steady gaze was there to greet me when I did. Bloody hell. How did he get to be this way? This...this sturdy guy who seemed to be at peace with his past life when I was still trying to bury mine? "I felt empty", Adrian admitted. "I made a big mistake. I crossed a line without stopping to consider the consequences. I was too empty to care". I think he was assuming I thought he was talking about his time as a death eater, and not specifically the locket. Adrian had never mentioned the locket, and he didn't know I knew about it. "When I realized what I had done, I did what I could to set it right and I died". Adrian squeezed both of my hands. "I don't regret it. I prefer being Adrian Pucey. And I am a better man because of my current parents".

"Same", I agreed, a bit breathlessly. It was still too soon to tell if this was working out in my favor. But I had hope. "Um… I mean, my new parents and siblings make me a better person. Not a man. I'm not a man". I clarified. "I'd do anything for my family". I stated, which was probably the biggest contrast between Jessie and me. Err.. well, the biggest contrast between my old self and my new self. I was Jessie, after all. Just as much as I was Holly.

"I would do anything for my parents too". Adrian said. "There's nothing I wouldn't sacrifice for their safety or for the safety of my little cousins. My previous brother too. Although, he may be a lost cause". Adrian's grip on my hands became a little tighter.

Something clicked in my mind; like a puzzle piece that just fell into place. "That's why you helped Harry when that bludger was attacking", I muttered more to myself.

But Adrian heard me, and he responded. "Yes, if something happened to Potter, Sirius would be hurt. He's not my main priority, I confess. There are others I would place ahead of Regulus' brother. But he is still important to me". Adrian squeezed my hands tighter. "I imagine it's similar to why you threatened Lockhart with your wand at that quidditch game".

"He was going to vanish your ribs", I interjected.

"Despite coming from different backgrounds, you and I are very much alike", Adrian said as his grip became punishing.

"Adrian", I said, trying to wiggle my hands out of his.

But he wouldn't budge. "I'd kill for my family. And I think, if forced into the right situation, you would too". Adrian's voice filled with conviction. Like a debater about to present his winning argument. "Me and you, Holly Weasley, are not good people. We'd gladly set the world on fire if it meant preserving what little good we have". I was starting to lose feeling in my fingertips but had become too distracted by what Adrian was saying to really complain. "You are something good in my life. And if you keep making rash decisions or if you keep putting yourself in dangerous situations, you'll force my hand".

Adrian let go and immediately I started rubbing my fingers to get my circulation going. But that did not slow down the onslaught of confusion I was feeling. What exactly was Adrian trying to say? "Is that a threat?" I asked.

Adrian used his right index finger to tuck some hair behind my ear before using the same finger to trace the curve of my cheek. "More like a warning", he said in a gentler voice than he had used previously. I think I should be scared. For some reason, I feel like I should be worried about what Adrian was hinting at. But I didn't feel anything other than relief. Relief that Jessie wasn't a deal-breaker, and Adrian was still in the mist about the Harry Potter Series.

Having burnt off a lot of our tension, standing outside on the little caboose balcony soon became too cold. So, Adrian and I went back inside the train car. At this point, we were probably about halfway to platform nine and three quarters. There was zero chance of finding an empty compartment. So we chose to loiter in the train cars' aisles; wandering from car to car if we got bored, but without any clear destination in mind. Twice, we had to step into other students' compartments to let the trolley witch pass us. The first time, Adrian purchased a pumpkin pastie from her, which we shared. But the second time she shot us a warning look. It was the kind of look all adults give teenagers when they think they are up to no good.

Conversation was sporadic. Sometimes, we found the energy to ask or say what questions and thoughts still haunted our minds. Other times, we got back into our normal flow of banter. "Out of curiosity", I would start. "How were you planning on killing Lockhart?"

Adrian snorted. "I'm not telling you. I might have to follow through with that plan, and I highly doubt you could manage being questioned by aurors".

In a different train car, Adrian said, "You need to apologize to your doppelganger-brothers. They looked like they were going to die from stress aneurysms caused by everything you were saying".

I nudged a compartment door with the edge of my foot. "I know, I know", I said; blushing a bit at the guilt. "I feel like all I've done these last couple of weeks is apologize".

Adrian's eyes glinted with humor. "Hmm, I wonder why that is".

I frowned at him without meaning it. "Haha".

In the next train car, I tried to explain Las Vegas. "It's a very popular city in America. There are lots of casinos and shows and neon lights, and… lots of alcohol. It also has its own saying, 'what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas'".

Adrian's brow wrinkled in confusion. "Why? What happens there that it has to stay there?"

"umm… well…." I couldn't think of an answer for him.

Two train cars later, Adrian stopped us in the middle of the aisle. "Before Lockhart made his appearance", Adrian started with an eye roll. "I wanted to ask if you wanted to attend my parents' annual New Years' Eve party with me".

I inched closer to him. "A party?"

"Yes, my mother invites all her friends and our family, and my father uses it as a chance to wine and dine new clients". Adrian reaches out and starts massaging the skin around my wrist. "It isn't anything exciting. But I thought you might like to go with me".

I smiled as we started walking again. "I'll have to ask. But I'll write to you once I know".

In the train car where we had left Fred and George, Adrian stopped me outside of their compartment. "I have to ask", he said with an edge in his voice that warned me this wasn't going to be as light-hearted as our previous topics. "Are going to stop being stupid and walk away the next time Lockhart approaches you?"

This time, even though it was hard, I maintained eye contact. "No".