Who's The Hostage? Chapter 8: It Just Sank In, a naruto fanfic

Blah blah blah: regular text

"Blah Blah Blah" regular speech

'Blah Blah Blah' regular thought or flashback

"Blah Blah Blah" Kyuubi/demonic or summon talking

'Blah Blah Blah' Kyuubi/demonic or summon thinking

Yes I own Naruto…we're talking about the little fish cakes that I put in my ramen right?

Who's the Hostage

By: EDelta88

Chapter 8: It Just Sank In

'Well at least now I know why she was so weird.'

"Yes love changes everything."

'You sound like you're speaking from experience.'

"No comment."

'So you actually ARE speaking from experience?'

"No comment."

'You've got to be shitting me. Kyuubi no Kitsune strongest of the Biju, killer of civilizations, destroyer of mountains, sinker of continents, and hater of all things cute actually fell in love.'

"Love is such a strong word."

'And you're in denial.'

"Hm, if I say yes I admit that you're right, if I say no you can simply claim it's the denial, very nice."

'Damn and I thought I had you too.'

"It was a good try but you're nine thousand years too late to catch me with that one brat."

Tsunade's office

Knock Knock

"Enter," Tsunade called, honestly who came calling at this time of night-er…not so early morning... seriously that sun came out of nowhere, the only reason she was up was because she couldn't sleep after sending out Kakashi and Jiraiya. Looking up from her paperwork as the door opened to reveal someone she hadn't expected to see for awhile, "Kakashi what are you doing back so soon?"

"I've come to make my report," he spoke in an even tone that betrayed none of his inner turmoil.

"Shouldn't that wait for after you complete you mission?" asked Tsunade in a slightly irritated voice, though if one looked closely they could see the wild desperation in eyes, if Kakashi was back this quickly it could only mean…

"Mission Failed Hokage-sama," Kakashi whispered in a voice that made him sound small and defeated.

"Explain," she ordered through gritted teeth as she fought for control of her emotions.

"Scent trails indicated two individuals leaving the village separately over the east wall some four to six days ago before meeting a short distance into the forest," he began in a detached monotone, "The sight showed signs consistent with the second individual being subdued, possibly rendered unconscious, then moved a short distance, presumably to avoid detection by the guards, and then restrained," he paused considering his next words.

"And," Tsunade ground out.

"From that point there are at least 20 trails but they are only discernible in that clearing. From there the trails lead in all directions crisscrossing around the village for several miles mixing the trails in such a way that it is impossible to tell where one ends and another begins," he paused again before dropping the bomb, "We have no way of tracking him Hokage-sama, we'll need to wait for him to surface which given his behavior is highly unlikely," he finished. He'd always known that Naruto had exceptional capabilities in both stealth and evasion, he had watched as a very young Naruto had learned to disappear as a means of escaping the villages more… forward citizens.

"Leave," Tsunade ordered.

Nodding Kakashi turned and slipped from the room moving swiftly down the hall, he would not disrespect her by being present or within earshot when she broke down.

As the door closed tears began to silently make their way down Tsunade's cheeks, Naruto was gone. How could this have happened, maybe she missed something? Or maybe she hadn't-

"You shouldn't worry so much..." Tsunade whipped around to see Jiraiya walking towards her from the open window, "...you'll get wrinkles." It was a testament to just how out of it Tsunade was that she actually laughed at that, "Seriously stop worrying, he'll be fine."

"You don't know that he could-" she began only to be cut off as Jiraiya pulled her into a comforting hug, and for once he wasn't trying anything, just one friend comforting another.

"Shh," he soothed.

"But-" she began again before a blood curdling scream rent the air.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

"That sounded like Hiashi," said Tsunade.

Jiraiya smirked knowingly, "Probably just got over the euphoria of knowing that his daughter was alive and well, which means it just sank in that she's alone with a teenage boy."

For a moment Tsunade and Jiraiya just stared at each other, then as one they made a mad dash for the desk whipping out the crystal ball that their sensei had left and activated Tomogane no jutsu focusing it on the Hyuuga patriarch.

They paused looking at eachother then without warning they collapsed in fits of incoherent laughter at the scene that was taking place.

Elsewhere in Konoha

"Son I want you to watch this very closely as this only happens once every few years if we're lucky and you have to be even luckier to be there when it happens," a father explained to his son as they watched the normally unflappable Hyuuga Hiashi scream incoherent obscenities, threats, and other nonsense while running around in circles like a chicken with its head cut off and trying to tear his hair out. Hyuuga very seldom lost their cool, for one to lose it so completely in public even more so (as in once or twice per generation), but when they did it was truly a sight to behold.

Back With Tsunade and Jiraiya

It took a while but eventually they both managed to calm down, the problem with that was that they also remembered what they'd been talking about before that nice little distraction.

"He's really gone isn't he," Tsunade moped.

"Yes he is," he stated flatly.

"So…what now?" for the first time since Naruto had brought her back she felt lost.

"We go to Plan B," Jiraiya replied through a shit eating grin.

"There was a Plan B?" Tsunade asked skeptically then, 'Wait a minute I know that grin,' she thought, her eyes narrowing in suspicion, "What did you do?" though she was almost afraid to here the answer.

"I may, or may not, have sent a certain blonde student of mine a scroll containing all the information and tools he could ever need to become a total badass," he said far too innocently.

"Fucking boy scout," she cursed good naturedly, "You planned for something like this?"

"What can I say I'm a firm believe in Murphy's law, "what can go wrong will go wrong" and I'm a pessimist, so there," he finished sticking his tongue out playfully.

"…" blank stare.

"What? Struck dumb by my amazing foresight and intellect?" he asked while striking an absurd pose.

"No, I'm just surprised you haven't tried to get in my pants yet."

"Is that an invitation?" he asked, a playful grin tracing his lips.

"Five minutes ago when I was distraught and confused, yes, but that was then and this is… wait why didn't you try five minutes ago?"

"What kind of low life do you take me for?" he asked in mock hurt, "Take advantage of you in your moment of weakness? Never. Such an act is the sign of a truly pathetic man. Where's the challenge, the thrill of the chase, the skillful wooing, the brilliant foreplay? No, to stoop to such a trick would be an insult to both you and my ability to win you over, which I will, it's just a matter of time."

"Wow…that was actually really profound."

Jiraiya gave the victory sign, "I may be a super pervert, but I got the skills to back it up."

Omake: Alternate Ending: Raise Ya

By: EDelta88

Inspired By: He Who Spoke

"Five minutes ago when I was all distraught and confused, yes, but that was then and this is… wait why didn't you try five minutes ago?"

"Wow…that was actually really profound."

Jiraiya gave the victory sign, "I may be a super pervert, but I got the Mad Ninja skills to back it up."

Grinning back at him Tsunade replied, "Well I'll see your "Mad Ninja Skills" and raise you one Chuck Norris."

Raising an eyebrow Jiraiya answered without missing a beat, "I'll see your Chuck Norris and raise you two pirates and a spoon."

"GOD DAMNIT THIS ISN'T EVEN REAL GAMBLING AND I CAN'T WIN!"

EDITED: 3/1/10

End Notes

Skillfully done considering I was writing out of sheer boredom and finished it in my spare time over the last two weeks.