Ramen Doodles

By Andrew J. Talon

Disclaimer: I do not and probably never will own Naruto or any other copyrighted works mentioned in this story. I am not writing this for profit.

Some holiday shenanigans...

Shortly after the conclusion of the Fourth Ninja War...

Naruto: "Oh man! Thanks Granny Tsunade! Stuff from my parents?!"

Tsunade: "Well, you're strong enough now you can defend yourself from anyone who might be after you for them. Dig in!"

Naruto: "Huh... This scroll's got some fancy seals on it. What is it?"

Tsunade: Eye widen "... Oh shit."

Naruto: "... Granny... What is it?"

Tsunade: "Ummm... Oh hey! I've got that thing! Somewhere else! That I need to-!"

Naruto: "GRANNY!"

Tsunade: Deep Sigh "Okay... It's a betrothal contract."

Naruto: "A what?"

Tsunade: "A betrothal contract. Basically it's to arrange marriages between people before they're old enough."

Naruto: "Wait, I'm betrothed?! To who?! When?!" Glares "You know something about this, don't you?!"

Tsunade: "Um, well... It's actually a funny story... Well funny stories. Well the ones I can remember are funny-"

Naruto: Opens the scroll, his eyes widen "... WHAT THE HELL?! How am I betrothed to Hinata?!"

Tsunade: "Well you see..."

Flashback, several years ago at the Hyuuga Estate

Tsunade: "Come on Minato! Roll the dice, roll the dice!"

Minato: "Tsunade, I'm already deep in debt!"

Tsunade: "You'll win this time! I'm sure of it!"

Hiashi: "Well Minato? What have you to put up?"

Minato: "Well... A marriage contract to our baby who is due to be born soon-"

Hiashi: "Done! Roll the dice!"

Tsunade: "COME ON LUCKY 7!"

SNAKE EYES!

Hiashi: Smirks "Looks like I win... All according to keikaku."

Minato: Groan "TSUNADE!"

Tsunade: "It was a sure thing! You clearly threw me off!"

Back in the present...

Naruto: "Okay... Well... I love Hinata so that's not a big deal-Wait, there's another name on this list-ANKO-NEE-CHAN?!"

Tsunade: "Well you see-"

FLASHBACK NO JUTSU!

Tsunade: "Come on, come on! Orochimaru's always sucked at cards! You can take him!"

Minato: sigh "Fine... Orochimaru!"

Orochimaru: "I call!"

Minato: "Read 'em and weep! Straight flush!"

Orochimaru: "Hm! Not bad... But nothing compared to a ROYAL FLUSH!"

Minato: "GAH!"

Orochimaru: "So... Either you hand over the Hokageship, or you hand over the marriage contract for my apprentice Anko-chan. What's it gonna be?"

In the present

Naruto: "AGAIN?!"

Tsunade: "I SWEAR HE CHEATED!"

Naruto: "Well of COURSE he cheated! He's a freaking ninja-Okay, WHAT?! How the holy fuck am I engaged to Mei Terumi?! How did you even meet her?!"

Tsunade: "Well, Minato and I got REALLY drunk and ran off before Shizune could catch us and we met some Mist genin and we started a game of poker-"

Naruto: "FUCKING SERIOUSLY?! HOW MANY TIMES DID SHIT LIKE THIS HAPPEN?!"

He keeps unrolling the scroll, his eyes getting wider and a vein at the side of his forehead now throbbing.

Tsunade: "Come on! So you're engaged to three... Four... Five... Maybeee twelve girls... I kind of lost track. It's not all bad!"

Naruto: Foaming at the mouth "TWELVE?!"

Tsunade: "It's a lucky number?"

Naruto: "Damnit Old Man! DAMN YOU!

Tsunade: "Well, it wasn't just him..."

Naruto: "WHAT?! MY MOM WAS OKAY WITH THIS?!"

Tsunade: "Er... Yes! She was!"

Flashback no Jutsu!

Kushina: *Full Nine Tails Rage Mode, towering over Tsunade* "YOU DID WHAT?!"

Tsunade: "N-Now now, Kushina! Think of all the grandchildren!"

Kushina: Pauses "... Huh! You're right! You're now the godmother!"

Tsunade: "Oh thank God."

Kushina: "After I test your suitability!" Forms chakra chains

Tsunade: "Oh God no!"

End Flashback No Jutsu

Tsunade: "... Eventually."

Naruto: "Well... This is fine. It's perfectly fine. No one else knows about this. None of these girls know we're engaged. And they don't need to know! It's just a scroll! The sealwork doesn't do anything... Right?"

Tsunade: "Ummmm..."

Naruto: "RIGHT?!"

Hinata: "NARUTOOOOOO!" *Hugs him happily* "I heard your cries! Are you all right?"

Naruto: "Um... Well..."

Mei: *Busts in, dressed in white* "I'm ready for the wedding when you are, sweet Naruto~!"

Anko: "Like hell! My wedding's first!"

Samui: "I believe it will be mine."

Shizune: "TSUNADE-SAMA! HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME I WAS ENGAGED?!"

Tsunade: Has replaced herself with a confused looking Tonton

Naruto: "GRANNNYYYYYYY!"

Another way harem fics can go.