Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
War Room
With the winter holidays right around the corner, the whole school turned their attention to end-of-semester exams. All professors were reviewing the material. You couldn't walk through the halls without seeing at least one student traveling with their nose buried in their notes. The years most preoccupied with taking these end-of-semester exams were the fifth and seventh years. With our OWLS and NEWTS being only a semester away at this point, these end-of-semester exams would serve as practice. Many had their hands stained with ink. I was no longer the only one with bags under my eyes, and many were carrying around grumpy attitudes.
That said, Fred, George, and I weren't as preoccupied with the exams as we should be. Meaning… We were distracted by bigger and better things. Or rather a single thing.
Sitting in transfiguration with our heads bent together, Fred was taking down the minutes. George was on the lookout. I was responsible for keeping up the ruse that we were actually revising like Sirius had told us to. But it was hard to focus on our tasks when we were also trying to brainstorm the best tactics to use on Flint. "Alright", Fred said as he reviewed our past efforts. "The contact explosives were a success".
Glancing away from where he was tracking Sirius with his eyes to look at us, George smirked. "Who knew Flint was such a good dancer".
I replicated his smirk. "I don't think there's another soul alive who can pick up their feet as high as Flint and do a jig". It had been a truly enjoyable sight; having occurred right outside the library. And completely worth the effort it had taken to construct contact explosives weak enough to go off under someone's feet without causing bodily harm. It was made even better by the fact that Percy witnessed the whole thing.
Fred nodded his agreement, but he kept reviewing our past attempts. "But the ton-tongue toffees were a bust".
George and I nodded solemnly. That has been a miscalculation on our part. Flint was on a completely different level than people like Crabbe and Goyle and that should have been obvious to us. Of course, Flint wasn't thick enough to take food that he just randomly came across in the hallway. "We should have tricked Percy into offering the candy to him", I thought aloud.
Fred didn't agree. "No", he said with a shake of his head. "That would cue Percy in that we're up to something, and if Percy had eaten one too that would've been counterproductive to the point we're trying to make".
He was right, unfortunately. "It is a shame though", George added. "We really needed someone to test those out".
Feeling eyes over me, I glanced over my shoulder as Fred and George briefly went on a tangent about where they could find a guinea pig. Adrian was sitting with the Slytherins today. Mostly because I declared I needed quality time with my fellow triplets. So, he was stuck trying to explain upper-level transfiguration theory to Warrington. Not that I was fooling him. Judging by the scowl on Adrian's face he was very much aware we were up to something. I tried not to look too guilty as I smiled at him from across the room.
"What about the punching telescope?" I asked; turning back to the task at hand. "How's the prototype coming along for that? I think the seventh-year astronomy exam is coming up".
Fred tilted his head left to right and left to right as he thought about the suggestion. "It's not a bad idea", he said. "The timing of it would be perfect. But the prototype isn't fully functional yet".
George shrugged. "Maybe if we pulled a few late nights. It's the mechanics of the tiny fist we're struggling with…." George trailed off as thoughts about the invention took over his mind.
The three of us sat in silence for a moment as we tried to come up with more ideas. Fred and George had plenty as there were multiple products they had invented by this point and were dying to test. But an issue we were running into was that no matter what we tried, we didn't seem to be getting any closer to our goal. We wanted Percy away from Flint. We wanted Percy to lose his newfound respect for the Slytherin quidditch captain. In terms of Percy, we wanted him to return to his normal social circles. The pranks we were pulling on Flint were very similar to the ones Fred and George had used when they were testing Adrian. The ones Adrian endured with a heavy air of annoyance.
We imagined Flint responding to our attacks with enraged tantrums and yelled threats. Something Percy would have undoubtedly found distasteful. Even if Flint was the victim. However, Flint did none of those things. With Percy always in the vicinity, Flint never forgot himself. His face would briefly twist up into an ugly expression that promised retribution by painful death. Once the initial knee-jerk reaction passed, he'd turn to Percy and behave like a kicked puppy looking for sympathy. So instead of causing Percy to create distance between him and his new friend, our pranks were drawing Percy in closer.
"Maybe we're going about this wrong", I commented; leaning back in my seat and folding my arms over my chest. "Tormenting Flint is fun, but it's not separating him from Percy like we want".
Following my line of thought, Fred continued, "Meaning we need to think of something we know Percy will choose over Flint".
A moment passed in silence as we tried to think of something Percy valued above all else. Hermes? Maybe. His high marks in all his classes? Most definitely. But we weren't willing to mess with that. The potential consequences weren't worth the desired outcome.
We didn't have an answer when Sirius wandered over to our table. "And what are the Weasleys revising?" He asked as he peered over our shoulders. He nodded once at the open transfiguration text sitting in front of me. But stilled when he got a glimpse of the notes Fred was taking. "This doesn't look like transfiguration", he said in a voice that was completely casual and did not sound like it should belong to a teacher at all. "It looks like detailed plans for a prank war".
To let Sirius know he was right, I used my index finger to brush against the side of my nose. Kind of like what people do when they play charades.
"It's for a just cause", George assured him.
"There's a certain Slytherin who needs to be taken down a couple of pegs", Fred explained.
"Arguably, we're doing this for the greater good", I finished.
Sirius grinned as he leaned over Fred's shoulder to get a better look at what Fred had written down. "I've never been one to deter a good practical joke", Sirius shared as he read. "A punching telescope? Ingenious". Fred and George beamed at the praise. "However; unfortunately", Sirius started to say; straightening his back. "I'm a teacher now and have to take some type of responsibility. So, for the rest of the class please focus on transfiguration. I'm sure we can think of some way you can use transfiguration in your pranking endeavors".
The three of us leaped at the chance to pick the brain of a seasoned prank war master. Quickly, we fell into a discussion about the merits of human transfiguration in regard to humor. Throughout the whole conversation, I continued to feel Adrian's eyes on me. This time I didn't even attempt to pretend that I was innocent. Adrian knew there was a reason we weren't sitting next to each other today. And it'd just be insulting to insist that there wasn't.
"It's us", George exclaimed as he dangled a carrot above the mouth of a Chinese Chomping Cabbage. Our herbology class had been tasked with making sure Professor Sprout's entire crop was fully fed and ready for when Snape chopped them up to brew Skele-gro.
Distracted by George's two-word announcement, I looked away from my cabbage. "What?" I asked in a slow and confused voice. Only for my voice to speed up and become louder when I yelped as my cabbage made a go for my fingertips. Faster than I had moved in a long time, I retracted my hand and held it close to my chest. For once, it would be nice to work with a plant in Herbology that wasn't capable of fighting back.
"Careful, Miss Weasley!" Professor Sprout scolded from the front of the greenhouse.
One. Two. Three. Four. Five. I counted; sighing in relief when it was clear I still had my thumb and fingers attached to my right hand. "What do you mean?" I asked as I turned my attention to George.
"It's us", George repeated as he finally gave his cabbage the carrot he was holding. "The thing Percy would choose over Flint. Fellow Weasleys".
"Okay", Fred said slowly as he started to catch on. "So, you're saying we need Flint to attack us before Percy will stop giving him the time of day?" He grabbed a carrot and just about shoved it down the throat of his Chinese Chomping Cabbage. Out of the three of us, Fred had the biggest cabbage. It had the widest mouth and vaguely resembled the Grinch before his heart grew by three sizes. Fred nicknamed it Aunt Muriel. Which was something Professor Sprout overheard and she made a valiant effort to not laugh as it was a bit inappropriate to name vicious produce after relatives.
George shook his head as I worked up the nerve to pick up another carrot. Herbology truly is the worst. I can't wait until next school year where I can drop the subject altogether. "We don't need to go that far", George said. "We just need to do something that will distract Percy. Something that will eat up his time so he won't be able to spend it with Flint".
Fred and I looked at each other as we tried to catch up with George's thought process. "Do you have something in mind?" I asked as I held out the carrot to my cabbage. Even though it was potted, I swear the thing lunged at me. Squeaking, I jumped back and lost my hold on the carrot; sending it sailing through the air.
"Honestly, Miss Weasley", Professor Sprout complained when my wayward carrot thumped Diggory on the head. "The Chinese Chomping Cabbage is an herbivore".
Offering a mocking version of comfort, George patted me on the shoulder. While Fred's lips twitched at the amusement he found in my hardship. Git. Not all of us can be good at Herbology, Fred. "What's the one thing Percy always reacts to? The one thing he never manages to ignore?" George asked as he rested his hand on my shoulder.
Fred shrugged as he thought aloud. "The chance to do extra credit work".
George eyed Fred. Mostly because Fred was right, but that wasn't the point George was trying to lead us towards. He let go of my shoulder before taking a carrot into his hands. George snapped it in half as he gave us the answer. "Holly or Ginny crying". He tossed half of the carrot into the mouth of his cabbage and the other half into my cabbage. Nice of him. Considering how neglected my cabbage had been this entire lesson.
Fred mulled over George's words in his head before he nodded in agreement. It was true. If either Ginny or me (and sometimes Ron) broke out the waterworks, Percy would do a lot to get us to stop. Assuming he wasn't the reason we were crying in the first place. Because, at the end of the day, no matter how pompous and superior Percy liked to act, he was still our big brother. "So, what?" Fred asked. "Every time we see Perce with Flint, we need to make our sisters cry?"
"No", I said at the same time as George. Although, I was a bit louder and my rejection of the idea was for a different reason. Not that it was really something I needed to worry about. While Fred and George had no problem making people the butt of their jokes. One or two shed tears wasn't something they'd feel guilty about. But they were still brothers themselves. They wouldn't choose a plan that would save Percy but sacrifice other Weasleys.
"Ginny would catch on too quickly", George reasoned. "Besides, who knows where Ginny would land on this Percy and Flint being friends business". Fair point. As both a Weasley and a Slytherin, Ginny was a bit of a wild card in this particular situation. "So, it would have to be Holly". George finished as both he and Fred turned to look at me.
I held up my hands. "Look, I know I've been able to fake cry in the past. But I'm not that good". Seriously, what did they want me to do? Spastically sprout tears whenever Flint came into spitting distance of Percy? "Percy isn't that oblivious", I argued. "He's going to make the connection that we're up to something if I start sobbing every time he's with Flint".
George had a counter prepared. "We just have to give you a reason to be upset. A reason that isn't easily fixed".
He had my interest peaked. "What do you have in mind?" I asked as I picked up another carrot.
In response, George turned toward Fred. He clapped his identical brother on the shoulder. "Gred, it's time for us to have a falling out".
Instantly I had flashbacks to last year when my fellow triplets were in a tizzy over Angelina. Did we really need a repeat of that? Distracted by my thoughts, I failed to pay attention to what I was doing with my hands. Or the fact that I was dangerously close to my neglected chomping cabbage. At least, I was until my hand was engulfed by a leafy force and I had the sensation of being pricked by a series of thorns.
My eyes watered as a tremor shot up my arm. "Um, Professor Sprout", I called across the greenhouse, instantly gaining the attention of the head of Hufflepuff house. Moving slowly to not make things worse, I turned myself and the potted cabbage plant around so she could see. The chomping cabbage's mouth was gnawing on my hand with specks of blood staining and dribbling down its leafy lips. It kind of looked like a kid who hadn't mastered the art of eating spaghetti neatly. "I don't think my cabbage is a herbivore like you said".
The color drained from Professor Sprout's face as she took in the scene before her. It only took her a second to find herself before she was bustling over; waving students out of her way to reach where I was standing. Under her breath, she muttered something that vaguely sounded like, "one more semester. Just one more semester". It was a sentiment we both shared.
It took charms class for us to finish our plans. Which was a feat in itself considering that Flitwick took advantage of every class minute when an exam was right around the corner. We decided we needed a public venue for Fred and George to get this plan of theirs up and running. A place where we knew Percy would be. So, naturally, this led us to executing the first part of the plan in the great hall during dinner.
For this plan we needed more than just the three of us, so Lee got pulled into the mix as well. He was thrilled. "What are we going to do?" He asked before we had finished filling him in. "Terrorizing Filch? Giving Snape gray hair? Making Slytherins think they're hallucinating?" Which were all wonderful ideas.
"We need you to help us stage a fight", George explained.
"We need it to be believable", Fred continued. "That way people won't expect we're still working together, and we can get what we're after".
"What are you after?" Lee asked. I'd ask the same thing if I was in his shoes.
The three of us exchanged a look. It wasn't like we didn't trust Lee with our plans. The problem was that he was a loudmouth with a commentary gig. Secrets weren't Lee's strong suit. In this case, a half-truth was most appropriate. "We need to distract Percy for an unforeseeable amount of time", I answered for my brothers.
Lee blinked twice as we came to a halt in front of the doors leading to the great hall. "That doesn't sound as much fun as the stuff you three usually get into". If Lee sounded disappointed, he didn't let it keep him down for long. "But, alright. What do you need me to do?"
And here we are now; sitting at Gryffindor table. As is the norm, I'm in the middle with Fred on my left and George on our right. Lee sits across from us as we had asked. A few places down sat Percy with the other Gryffindor seventh years. He's within hearing difference, and that's perfect. All of us had our plates filled with tonight's meal consisting of Shepard's pie.
As we agreed, all of us got to enjoy at least half of our dinners before the plan was officially underway. It wouldn't do to screw with people's heads on empty stomachs after all. Fred finished chewing a bite of food. After he swallowed, he picked up his goblet of milk and coughed into it. That was the signal. "Hey, Holly", Lee said as he changed our original dinner conversation regarding what we thought was the best product at Zonko's. "I know I've asked you this before, but how do you tell Fred and George apart?"
I took my time to chew and swallow my food before looking at each of my fellow triplets in turn. "I don't know", I answered as I lowered my fork and shrugged. "I just do. Fred is Fred and George is George". It was a truthful answer too. I'm not sure why I could tell the two of them apart without having to think about it. It's probably because I grew up side by side with them and was permitted to see sides of them not everyone got to witness. "How do you tell Fred and George apart?" I asked Lee.
On my left and right, Fred and George fell silent; acting like they were listening in to the conversation and didn't know what Lee was going to say. "Um", Lee thought as he scratched the back of his head. "I mean, I don't always get it right". Again, it was the truth. But Lee did better than most. "But... I guess, if I have to explain it…. Fred is a little more vicious than George. While George tends to be the one who makes sure Fred doesn't go too far". That part was not true. While George was the voice of reason in our group, not one of us had any problems with pushing things to the end of its ropes. And Fred and George were equally vicious when given the right amount of incentive.
There was a moment of pause in our conversation as we had planned. Meanwhile, the noise of students chattering and silverware scraping on plates continued around us. George cleared his throat as if he was smothering a laugh. "Well, Fred. Lee sure does understand your personality".
Fred glared as he set his fork down. "So, I do what I want without holding back. At least I don't stop others from having fun". Fred directed that second part at George. Again, it wasn't a true statement. George was more likely to join in than he was to block. The only exceptions were when Fred and I were truly talking crazy. Like planning to rob Gringotts or impersonating the minister crazy.
George straightened his spine. "I don't stop you from doing what you want to", George argued; his voice adopting a sharp edge. "Even if I'm the one who has to clean up after your selfish pranks". Again, not true. While they may end up in detention, it's usually Filch that ends up cleaning up after a Weasley pranking masterpiece.
"Please", Fred scoffed. "I may come up with the ideas, but you enjoy them just as much as I do. Maybe even more. You're the one who wanted to glue Holly's favorite shoes to the floor so she couldn't wear them anymore".
"Wait", I broke in out of surprise. "What about my shoes?" Because that was news to me. And my shoes definitely hadn't been mentioned in the plan.
I was ignored. "Well, you're the one who put honey in Wood's shampoo", George countered at a louder volume. From further down the table on Percy's right, Wood perked up. "That was you!" He exclaimed; drawing the attention of our housemates to us. Percy included. Perfect. It was just as we had planned.
"Ugh", Fred growled. "You're such a prat. We both put honey in Wood's shampoo and you know it". Fred stood up and slammed the palms of his head on the table with enough force to rattle the tableware.
George followed suit and soon both of them were looming over me; glaring at each other like they had the power to shoot stunning spells from their eyeballs. "If I'm a prat then you're an idiot. You wouldn't even be passing transfiguration if it wasn't for me".
Fred balled his hands into fists. "Oh yeah? Well, good luck in Herbology for now on you dunce. Because I'm not going to help you any longer!"
Eyes wide, I started to stand up. "Guys, I think this is going too far". My hands were shaking as if I was confronting my biggest fear. "Maybe we should all just-"
"You snore like a troll", George blurted out; yelling right over me.
"You always leave toothpaste in the sink", Fred continued the insult and complaint train. He placed a hand on my shoulder and pushed me down until I was forced to take a seat. Feigning uneasiness, I glanced my eyes down the table in Percy's direction. The head boy was already halfway out of his seat, but he was taking the time to wipe his mouth on a napkin.
George poked Fred in the chest. "You're the one who always leaves clothes on the floor!"
Fred poked George back. "You never let me have a moment to myself! It's your fault no one but Holly can tell us apart!"
"Our own mother can't tell us apart". George argued. "That's not my fault! If you don't like it then do something to change that stupid face of yours!"
Fred threw his hands into the air. "I wish I didn't have your stupid face. Even if it does look better on me than you!"
George had no more words. In response, he picked up a handful of Shepherd's pie from his plate and flung it into Fred's face. The splattering sound created when the food made contact was very satisfying. Even to my ears. But it was short-lived.
"George!" Percy yelled in reprimand as he removed himself from his seat so he could quickly intervene.
With one strong swipe of his arm, Fred wiped most of the food from his face. In retaliation, he picked his goblet and threw its contents over George's front. Of course, its contents being liquid, I ended up in the splash zone.
"Fred!" Percy yelled; absolutely disgusted by the two of them. At this point, we had the attention of everyone in the hall. Even the teachers were starting to react. Both Lupin and McGonagall had risen from their chairs at the teachers' table and appeared to be ready to take away house points.
Lee picked up his own plate. "Food fight!" He declared before sending the great hall into an all-out brawl. And this… This was just the beginning of our plan.
Standing outside the door to Lupin's office I paced back and forth; absolutely covered in foodstuff. Some of which I could identify and some I could not. Nervously, I chewed on my thumbnail as I listened in on what was being said on the other side of the door. It sort of tasted like cranberry which was concerning since nothing with cranberries had been served tonight. It was a little hard to make out what was being said. Mostly due to all the laughter. Pity Fred and George hadn't made the extendable ears yet.
"It's not funny, Sirius", Lupin's voice broke through the laughter.
"It was just a food fight", Sirius defended himself as he stopped laughing. "We started plenty of those when we were their age. Remus, live a little".
"It was disgraceful", Came Percy's voice. His voice sounded at a higher volume than any of the teachers. "It was outrageous! To think two students from the upper years would behave in such a fashion". Oh, Percy was definitely on his high horse by this point. "And my own brothers nonetheless!"
It was only thanks to my trained ear that I was able to identify who spoke next. "He started it", huffed George.
"I don't care!" Percy exploded. "That's no excuse to disrupt dinner and waste food".
There was a pause in the conversation. Being in the room, I had no way of knowing why. Maybe someone had interrupted through hand gestures. Maybe they were all just waiting for someone else to speak.
"It can't be pleasant to be in a conflict with a sibling", said Lupin; his voice was the calmest out of everyone in the room. "Nevertheless, there will be consequences. Fifty points will be from Gryffindor House for each of you and you'll be serving detention until the last day of term".
Fred and George both responded at once. Their voices competing to be heard over the other. So, the end result was no one being able to understand either one of them. I'm not sure how he managed it, but Lupin silenced my fellow triplets without saying a single audible word.
When there was silence, I heard Lupin say, "you're dismissed".
The door to Lupin's office swung open and slammed loudly against the connecting wall. I jumped back, my hands clasped together and held under my chin as Fred and George stomped out. Glaring at each other, they walked past me as if they didn't see me standing there at all.
I heard Percy sigh as I turned my attention back to Lupin's office. "I apologize for my brothers", said Percy tiredly as he backed out of the office with a bowed head. His right hand was extended away from him as he tried to find the door handle. "They rarely fight. I don't know what's gotten into them".
"It's quite alright, Mr. Weasley", Sirius assured him as Percy found the door handle and started to close it as he got further and further out of the office.
"Yes", Lupin agreed. "Please don't hold yourself responsible. I'm sure Fred and George will sort themselves out with time".
Percy sighed again as he started to close the door. "Thank you, sir", he said to excuse himself before closing the door completely. Percy waited for the door to click shut. But when he did, he shook his head as if the weight of the world rested on his shoulders. He gave himself a moment to regain himself before turning around. Only to come face to face with me. "Holly?" He asked; sounding surprised as he stepped backward into the door. "What are you doing here?"
Aware that it was my turn to play my part, I looked over my shoulder to stare at the direction Fred and George had stomped off in. When I looked back at Percy, I made a big show of wiping away a single tear in a hurry. "I…I don't know what to do", I admitted; trying to find the perfect voice to suggest that I was standing on shaking ground with absolutely no clue how to get off it.
Judging by the softening of Percy's face, I was successful. Percy took another moment to himself as he pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled loudly. But when he was done, Percy reached out an arm to me. "It'll be okay", he assured as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and started to lead us away from Lupin's office. "You know as well as I do that Fred and George are rarely at odds. They'll be as thick as thieves by the morning", Percy promised. "But in the meantime, let's get cleaned up, and then I'll help you revise for potions and herbology".
It was a solid plan. Both of us were covered in enough food that our clothes could probably feed a small family. "Okay", I sniffled as I allowed Percy to stir me away.
"I'll see if I can get us into the prefects' bath", Percy said; trying anything to get my thoughts off the fact that I currently did not have my fellow triplets to feel comfortable and safe with. "I'm not supposed to let students without a badge in, but I think an exception can be made. Given the circumstances". Percy leaned closer to me as I continued to sniffle. "And there are some benefits to being the head boy", Percy whispered conspiringly into my ear.
I rubbed a relatively clean portion of my robe sleeve under my eyes. "It is nice in there", I agreed.
The arm Percy had around my shoulders stiffened. "You're talking like you've been there before".
My muscles tensed. Oops. "Do you really think Fred and George will be alright?" I asked; mustering up my most pitiful voice.
Percy did sway, but it took him a moment. Shaking his head, he pulled me closer. "It seems I'll need to have a word with Pucey as well", he muttered to himself before returning to his assurances. "Yes, I'm sure. This is Fred and George we're talking about. They'll work it out".
I allowed myself to melt into the comfort my older brother was offering. Even if I didn't need it. All the while hoping Adrian wouldn't tear me a new one after Percy finally got a hold of him. Heh. Merlin, the things I'm willing to do for my family.