Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Some Much Needed Guidance

YUP's quidditch cup celebration did not just mark the end of quidditch for the year, but also fun. Now, no matter what year you were in, classes became centered around revision. In a stark contrast to the beginning of the year, the library was always crowded. If you want to study there or needed a certain book, good luck finding an empty seat.

The atmosphere in the common room drastically changed too. Usually, it's a warm and welcoming place that offered somewhere for friends to relax, talk about their days, and share a laugh. But not now and not again until exams were over, silence was expected just like it was in the library. If you made the mistake of making just a little too much noise as you got yourself settled, be ready to feel the discomfort of being stabbed by multiple pairs of eyes. Because of this seasonal hostility most of the Gryffindors in years one through four spent any free time way from Gryffindor tower.

In an effort to improve morale and keep us from turning on each other, Lupin started to pass out hot chocolate every night to the upper years. He refused to give us anything stronger. Like coffee. "Sleep is very important", he informed us when we asked. "How do you think long-term memories are formed?"

Out of all the fifth and seventh years, the only ones who continued to be their normal selves were Fred and George. Having fully committed themselves to only passing the three OWLs they wanted, those were the only subjects they were studying for. They didn't lose sleep. They ate their meals without having a textbook opened at the same time. They still had the ability to laugh. On principle alone, we started feeling annoyance at the mere sight of them.

Not that Fred and George were bothered. I wouldn't be bothered either if I was one of the few who still had a life.

"So, about this summer-" Fred said; knowing I wasn't listening and choosing to talk anyway. We were sitting outside Lupin's office. He was waiting on George. I was waiting for my turn to receive advice about possible career paths. With our last name starting with W, us triplets were the last fifth year Gryffindors to have this meeting. It was a minor fact that would mean nothing in the future, but right now it wasn't helping my anxiety. What was I good at? What was I good at that could also be a job?

"The Quidditch World Cup-" Fred kept going.

Don't think about jobs, right now. I told myself; shaking my head a little to clear it from distracting thoughts. Focus on potions. Committing myself to doing just that, I returned to the notes I brought along for the wait.

Moonstone- often used after being ground into a powder

An ingredient in many love potions and the draught of peace.

"Dad will probably still get tickets-"

Syrup of Hellebore- A highly poisonous extract (Keep away from Fred and George)

Used to brew the draught of peace and the Volubilis potion.

"You're probably worried about going. Death eaters on parade and all that. But-"

Chinese Chomping Cabbage (AKA; a leafy nightmare)

This demonic plant is always hungry. Loves carrots. Needed to brew skele-gro

"You're really not hearing a word I'm saying are you, Holls?"

Salamander Blood- processes healing and rejuvenating properties.

Used in the strengthening solution and the like.

"So, the other day George and I were feeling restless. Lee was busy. You were busy. So, we decided to sneak out and go to the pub".

Griffin claw- Extremely difficult to harvest

Can be ground into a fine powder. Included in the strengthening solution.

" -After we ordered our drinks, we realized the person wearing the clown costume was Cornelius Fudge. The way he painted his face was something one could only accomplish if they were applying it in the dark".

Scurvy grass- remember as the pirate plant

Used in the befuddlement draught and invigoration draught.

Can be found in salt marshes.

"-My nose was bleeding. George had a black eye. But in the end, we got the bastard. We gutted him like a toad. From there the only thing left to do was hide the body".

Mandrake root… Wait….

"What?" I asked, snapping my head up; my neck twisting towards Fred. His spine was relaxed as he balanced his right ankle on his left knee. The only sign he'd done anything to spark a reaction from me was the pleased impish half-smile he was wearing.

The door to Lupin's office opened. "Thank you for talking with us, George", Lupin said as he shook hands with our brother; stopping in the doorway as he stepped out. "You and Fred certainly have many ambitious goals for your future. But please consider trying for more than three OWLs. Just in case either of you change your mind. And Holly", Lupin said as his eyes swung to me. "Last but not least. Are you ready?" Lupin's face was tired and kindly. Something I normally found assurance in. But today, even that wasn't enough to put me at ease.

Taking a deep breath, I shoved my potion notes in my bookbag before standing. George and I passed shoulder to shoulder. "Don't be shy, Jolly Holly. Tell them all about your dream of being a partner in an extremely successful joke shop. I'm sure they can point you in the right direction".

Since he was walking away from me, George didn't see the face I made in response. But Lupin did. He offered a commiserating look as he held the door open. "Don't be nervous", Lupin said as he closed the door behind us. "When you look back on this year, this meeting will stand out as the easiest part". That wasn't as assuring as Lupin thought it was.

Lupin's office was tidy and organized. An easy observation to make just by looking at the bookshelf behind his desk. It was packed to compacity but didn't look stuffed. Something Percy hadn't mastered if I were to compare Lupin's bookshelf to the one he had at home. However, despite the office's appearance, the scent of algae hung in the air. Though that probably has to do with the grindylow floating in a tank over by the window. There were two chairs behind Lupin's desk. One of them clearly belonged with the rest of the furniture of the office. While the other was a gaudy red color. It had Sirius written all over it. So, naturally, that was the chair he was sitting in.

"My favorite Weasley", Sirius greeted as Lupin closed the door and I took a seat in the chair opposite from theirs.

Even though I was experiencing mild panic about what I'd be required to think about in this meeting, I managed to play along. "Oh, Professor Black. I bet you say that to all the Weasleys".

Sirius grinned at me in return; looking over my head at Lupin as I allowed my bookbag to fall off my shoulder and onto the floor. "She's on to me, Remus".

With a nod and a smile to show he didn't mind the humor, Lupin slipped back into his own chair. Making it so both of my heads of house were looking straight at me with the teacher's desk between us. "I'm sure you are aware of the purpose of this meeting. We are here to discuss with you your dreams for the future and what NEWT subjects you'll need to achieve those goals", Lupin explained; jumping right in.

"So", Sirius continued, clapping his hands once. "You'll be taking defense, charms, and what third class?"

My hands had been resting on my lap, but at Sirius words, they ended up fisting the hem of my skirt. "We shouldn't assume Holly wants the same thing as Fred and George", Lupin corrected Sirius; frowning at his oldest friend.

"But she's part of the Wonder Weasleys", Sirius argued heartily; grinning and waiting for me to agree.

But all I could do was open and close my mouth like a cod fish. "Uh… Uh…" was the only sound I could make. As if I was choking.

Slowly, the grin fell from Sirius' face. Lupin leaned forward in his chair; his body language open and inviting. "Holly, you're not required to be the same as your brothers", he told me gently. Like he believed all I needed was permission before forging ahead on my own path. If only that was my problem. "Why don't we start with what you would like to do after Hogwarts?"

"I don't know what I want", I admitted. Then, like I was a full bathtub and those words were the force that pulled the stopper, everything just drained out of me. "Fred and George want me to run their joke shop with them. But other than being a test subject, I've never helped them come up with or make new products before. So, if I did work at the joke shop it would be for them. Not with them. Though I suppose that is my back up. Well… one of them".

Sirius' eyes were growing wider and wider as I spoke. I'm not sure if it was due to my rate of speech or the content of what I was saying.

"I've never asked Mum about jobs. But she'd probably want me to try for a ministry position. That's what she wanted for Bill and Charlie. Of course, neither Bill nor Charlie took that route. Both of them were better at knowing what they wanted than me. Charlie always loved dragons. I think he knew what job he wanted before he even started his first year at Hogwarts. Bill told me, he didn't immediately want to be a curse breaker, but he knew what he wanted in life and that helped him find a job. I don't even know what I want out of life. Sometimes I'm just shocked I'm alive at all".

Lupin was sitting frozen in his chair as if he was trying to decide if he needed to do something but didn't want to spook me either.

"Mum wanted Percy to try for the ministry. Percy wanted that too. At least, until he got tangled with the Flints. Now, he's going to intern at Lord Flint's law firm next year. So, who knows where that'll lead. Not that Mum can complain about having a lawyer in the family. With Fred and George, we'll probably need a lawyer one day".

I paused to take a few breaths. But before either Lupin or Sirius could start to feel relief, I was off again.

"And why hasn't my mum talked to me about future careers? She's mentioned them to all my brothers. Even little Ronnikins". A loud snort escaped Sirius. But I was on a roll and kept going. "'Join the ministry', she tells them. 'it's a reliable and steady income', she says. Mum hasn't had the same conversations with Ginny and me. I mean, she cares about our marks. Sure. But when we talk about the future its usually about how to use contraceptive potions or raising kids".

The wizards sitting across from me started shifting uncomfortably in their seats; glancing nervously at each other. "Maybe we should get McGonagall", Sirius whispered to Lupin.

I wasn't so far gone that I didn't hear him. But I hadn't ran out of air yet. "Oh, Merlin! Is that it? Is that what she was raising me for? For me to become a housewife? I mean, I don't think my mum is sexist. She is definitely the head of our household. Dad may be the one with the job, but if Mum told him to jump over the moon, he'd find a way to do it and still make it home in time for dinner".

Lupin cleared his throat. "Holly", he called; trying to free me from my ramblings.

I placed a slightly trembling hand to my mouth. Probably muffling my words but neither Lupin nor Sirius acted like they struggled to understand me. "I don't want to be just a housewife. I think…. Maybe I do. Maybe my mum knows me better than I know myself. Adrian too". Slowly, I removed my hand and looked directly at Sirius. "You know, Adrian won't stop me if I want to have a career. I've at least taught him that much. His mother too. But he'd probably be happy if I decided the only thing I wanted to do with my life was marry him and stay home to raise the children. Hell, I'm pretty convinced one of the reasons Adrian was initially attracted to me was because my mum had eight kids and he wants to see if I can do the same".

A pained gagging sound started coming from Sirius. It caused Lupin to look at both of us with fear for our wellbeing.

"What if I don't want to be an adult at all? Maybe that's why I can't figure out what to do with my life. I used to be an adult, you know. It was awful. Taxes. Rent. Utility bills. Er… that's a muggle thing. Back then, I worked as an office administrator. I'm not sure why. I majored in political science. It was a boring job. But it's where I landed. Making copies, coordinating projects, filing papers, welcoming visitors, fixing the copier when some asshole broke it, and then hiring someone to fix the copier when I couldn't figure it out. Of course, I know magic now. So maybe it won't be so bad. Filing would take less time. But I have magic now!"

I was gesturing wildly with my hands, still unbothered by how uncomfortable I was making my professors.

"Shouldn't I be striving to be something more than a person who runs an office? But what? I'm not driven like Percy. Or… or passionate like Charlie. I'm not strategic like Ron. I'm not adventurous like Bill. People don't find me endearing like they do Ginny. And Fred and George are so smart and creative. They could give us all a run for our money it they wanted. Sure, Mum's going to explode when she learns they didn't try to get as many OWLs as possible. But we all know they found a way to cheat the system and walk away happy. The only thing I'm good at is pissing people off".

Both Lupin and Sirius had their mouths open like they wanted to interject. However, there was no stopping the word vomit erupting from me.

"I was good at it in my last life too. It's the only thing I excel in to be frank. Not sure why. I generally don't have to try. It just happens. One person from my past, I angered him so badly that he- at least, I think it was a he; I don't fully remember – Anyway, he stabbed me repeatedly until I suffocated in my own blood. Or it could have been blood lost. Difficult to say for sure. I wonder what happened to my body? … Oh, Merlin! Lockhart. I pissed him off too. I ruined his reputation. Destroyed his career. Because of me, he ended up committed as a full-time patient in a psych ward. And now he also wants to kill me. What else could he possibly mean by writing messages in blood?"

"Holly-" Lupin tried again. This time with a lot more urgency.

"I'm cursed, aren't I? I'm just going to spend all eternity being born, pissing off psychopaths, and getting killed. And then it'll repeat over and over and over again. Why am I even bothering with OWLs? I won't need them where I'm going".

"HOLLY!" Something about having Sirius yell my name at the top of his lungs; something about the empathy held in his voice shocked me to silence. Something about the mirrored terror in his gaze kept me quiet. It was only then I realized I was struggling to draw in full breaths.

What was supposed to be a short meeting turned into a couple of hours. "You're not going to be killed", was the first thing Sirius said after I'd returned to some form of normal functioning. "Especially not by the likes of Lockhart. Merlin, have you been worrying about that all this time?"

Unsurprisingly, I had used up all my words, so I simply shrugged.

"I can think of ten people off the top of my head who would never let that happen", Lupin added as he dropped lumps of sugar into my tea cup. "And that would only be naming a few". Ordering tea from the kitchens was the first thing Lupin did after my break down… mental lapse…. Emotional takeover… I don't know what to call it. Apparently, tea was a universal soother. Even for mental patients like me.

"And it sounds like I'll need to talk with dear old Reggie", Sirius said; his expression stuck between one of worry and one of anticipation. Like I was still a cause for concern, but the thought of talking to Adrian about his love life was something he was looking forward to. Probably because it would mortify Adrian.

"You shouldn't call him that", Lupin said as I picked up the tea cup. I didn't drink it; merely held it my hands and concentrated on its warmth. "Didn't Adrian ask you not to?"

"It's okay". And it was okay. Everyone in this room knew about Adrian's past life. I'm pretty sure UP's entire inner circle knows about Regulus Black. "I call him that too when he's being annoying".

Laughter vibrated in Sirius' throat, but he didn't release it. The room was still shrouded in solemnness left over from me emptying everything senseless thought from my head. Casual humor wouldn't have been appropriate.

"Have you talked to your parents or your brothers about your fears?" Lupin asked softly as he made himself comfortable once more; his own serving of tea in hand.

Sheepishly, I shook my head. "I didn't realize I felt all that". And it probably wasn't wise to admit my fear of Lockhart to Fred and George or any of my brothers. Then they really would stick to me like a permanent sticking charm.

"I suggest that you should", Lupin continued.

"When you're ready", Sirius threw in for good measure.

"I'm sure they'll be able to assure you of quite a few things". There was a lull as Lupin used the time to swallow a mouthful of tea. "As such, we should discuss more regarding what this meeting is about".

Flushing scarlet, it became difficult to look at either of them. I'd gotten so off-topic. The mother of all tangents. It was amazing they still wanted to have this meeting at all. Merlin, how was I going to be able to face either of them in class after all this was over?

"You are not signing up for a career today", Lupin continued as Sirius helped himself to a biscuit. Meanwhile, my tea remained untouched. "The NEWT classes you take will help narrow your options, but there is flexibility. Students may change their minds about what they initially thought they wanted to do and that's okay".

"I wanted to be an auror myself, back in the day", Sirius shared. "And also a barkeep for a period".

"But I don't even have an inkling about what I want to do?" I argued as my fingers curled tighter around the cooling cup.

"What do you like to do?" Sirius asked.

At least that was an answer I knew. "Cooking. But I'd rather not do that as a living". When you turn a hobby into a job it runs the risk of no longer being enjoyable. Besides, I'm not sure I could handle a bunch of idiots telling me my perfectly seasoned food needed more salt.

"Hmm", Lupin hummed as he sat down his tea cup; drawing our attention to him. "Perhaps looking at your transcript would help". Lupin pulled out a slightly thicker than average file from his desk drawer. Is that where he keeps all his student records? If so, that drawer must have an extension charm.

The next few seconds was filled with the sounds of ruffling parchment as Lupin read and Sirius looked over his shoulder. "Your marks are fine", Lupin announced after a moment. "Exceeds expectations and acceptables across the board. Except for two outstandings in charms and potions".

Sirius let out a soft whistle; acting more impressed than he should. "Getting Snape to give a Gryffindor an outstanding; now that's something".

Glancing off to my left and shrugging one shoulder, I tired to indicate that it wasn't anything to write home about. "That mark is mostly Adrian's doing. I'm the only Gryffindor paired with a Slytherin in class". It also helped that Adrian knew what he was doing.

"I'm not sure about that", Lupin said as he pointed out something specific he was reading to Sirius. "From the last reporting period, Professor Snape wrote that during this current academic year he has seen an increase in your performance. Your motivation has improved, and acts of in-class mischief with your brothers has decreased. He commented that your attention to detail has helped you with the exact measurements of ingredients. As such, Professor Snape describes having you in class as 'only a mild annoyance'".

"High praise from our resident bat", Sirius chirped; earning him a warning frown from his friend. But Sirius didn't notice. Instead, he pointed to something else on the page. "Look at what Flitwick had to say. It's glowing".

Obliging, Lupin read, "'It's always a pleasure to have Miss Weasley in class. Throughout the years, Miss Weasley has excelled in charms by cultivating a strong foundation of charm-work and applying her hard-earned skills to higher level spells. Miss Weasley can be trusted to take corrections and apply them to her work.

"'The previous year, I had the privilege of having Miss Weasley as my teacher's aide. She proved herself to be mindful of the younger students and became someone they could look up to. With a natural aptitude, Miss Weasley helped a classroom of first year students master the fire-making spell and subsequently demonstrated the aguamenti charm for the whole class on the same day'". Lupin finished reading; setting down the file to look at me.

If I thought I was scarlet before, I was fire-engine red now. "I was only his teacher's aide to avoid Lockhart". And look how that turned out.

"Still sounds like you made a good impression", Sirius said as he folded his arms across his chest.

"Have you ever considered teaching?" Lupin asked.

Teaching? Me? "No. I'm not… Don't you have to become a master in your subject before you can teach?"

"Not always", Lupin answered. "Sirius and I were hired without masteries. But having one would help in finding a position. Teacher training, while highly recommended, isn't even a requirement. The only thing you would need is excellent NEWT results in whatever subject you decided to pursue".

Me? A teacher…My mouth was slightly open. Professor Holly Weasley; it was hard to envision. I couldn't see myself handing out detentions, or yelling at kids for running in the halls. But… standing in front of a classroom, being a contributing factor to someone else's success… There was something there.

"Based on this, I'm positive Flitwick would take you on as a teacher's aide again if you asked", Sirius added; probably reading the look of wonderment on my face.

Lupin nodded in agreement. "As a NEWT student, there will be more open time in your schedule to be a teacher's aide. "Have you thought about what classes you would like to take next year?" Lupin inquired.

"Um…". Right, time to rejoin this discussion. "Charms and defense", I said; stating the obvious ones. "And I was considering continuing on with ancient runes and potions".

"So, you are aiming to get four OWLs", Lupin said before Sirius could question why I would willingly spend more time with Snape.

"No", I corrected. "I'm going to try to get as many OWLs as I can. Just in case". After all, if Mum was going to be mad at Fred and George for only trying for three OWLs, imagine how cross she'd be if I didn't pass enough and had to drop out. "I'm going to fail herbology. Plants tend to die or attack the moment I look at them. And astronomy goes over my head. But I think I can pass history of magic, and transfiguration. Maybe even squeeze by in arithmancy".

"I think she's the first student we've had who is considering history of magic", Sirius said looking in Lupin's direction with a grimace. Like he still had nightmares from when he'd been a student.

"That will provide you with options", Lupin agreed; ignoring Sirius completely. I can relate. Having often done the same with Fred, George, and Lee. "However, I have no doubt you'll be in my sixth-year defense class next year". The smile Lupin offered after saying so was filled with reassurance.

"Transfiguration too", Sirius chimed in. "I know it's not your first choice, but you'll pass your OWL. No problem".

"So…" I started slowly; still collecting my thoughts. At least I didn't feel so unbalanced anymore. "Until I know what I want, I should approach the NEWT years like I'm going to become a teacher?" A teacher. Me. There was something about that suggestion was making it difficult to brush off.

"How about you focus on your plan for the OWLs for now", Lupin suggested. "And think about whether or not pursuing teaching is something you would like to do. We can revisit the matter as much as you wish. And there will be plenty of time after you get your OWL results to make decisions about classes".

Yeah… that… that sounded good. "Okay", I agreed; sliding the teacup back onto Lupin's desk. Still full. "I can do that". Hopefully.

"And go talk with Flitwick", was Sirius' advice. "Asking about a being a teacher's aide again. Maybe that'll help you decide".

Yeah…. Okay…. I can do that…. Hopefully.