6

Chapter 532 Doubts About Jax

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Decker's house was done in serene shades of sand, cream and ocean blue with accents of terra cotta in accessories and pillows. He liked the calm feeling the color scheme brought him. It wasn't the most stylish or edgy; but he wanted his home to be a refuge and that's the environment the colors created for him.

He was dicing vegetables for a Thai spicy noodle dish that was one of Scarlett's favorites. She was perched on a barstool at the kitchen island supervising her father's efforts.

"Are you going to tell Jax your identity now that psycho ex isn't a factor?" Decker asked as he scooped up chopped garlic with the back of his knife and put it on a chopping board he was using to assemble the dish's ingredients before beginning to chop ginger.

"No. I don't think that my telling him that his MC has a contract out on me will tempt him to cash in. I also don't think his MC loyalty will make him feel he has to do something to me for the club. I don't trust that he might not try to fix things by getting the contract cancelled. If he tried to do that, Clay would know I was the little girl that saw him kill her mother and he would come after me."

"Yeah, I could see that," Decker said moving on to chopping scallions. "You could help you know and cut those limes into wedges. I've already washed them," he said handing her a cutting mat and a paring knife.

Scarlett put the mat in front of her, scooped up the limes and knife and began to quarter them.

"I can't tell him that I saw Clay kill my mother because then that makes me a threat to Clay. Jax is supposed to protect the chapter and the president. If I told him I'm not going to do anything about Clay, he wouldn't believe me. I wouldn't expect him to. I wouldn't even believe me. I don't know what he would do if he had to choose between protecting the president or helping me bring him down."

"Yeah, I think you're right. There's no way to help you get retribution for your mother's murder and protect Clay. If he sees protecting Clay as the MC and it's you or the MC, I don't know what would happen."

"I think he might pick the MC. It kind of drives me crazy when I think about it. I want him to love me more than the MC, but that might not ever happen."

Decker had moved through most of the chopping, finishing the last of it by running his chef's knife through a bunch of cilantro. Fortunately Jax, Scarlett and Decker all liked the sometimes divisive herb.

"He's been raised from birth to be in the MC and one day be its president. That's a lot to give up. You can't ever give him that kind of choice. He loves the MC. It's in his blood. His love for the MC doesn't mean he doesn't have great love for you."

"Yeah, that's what I tell myself. He went against his mother for me. That was huge."

"I'm glad he had the balls to do that. That mother of his seems like a real bitch."

"The timing was perfect. If I had told him what his mother said, it wouldn't have been nearly as effective as him hearing it with his own ears and I don't look bad for ratting on his mother."

"I thought Jax would eventually see through his mother and put her in her place, but I didn't think it would happen so soon. Sometimes it's good to be patient."

"That's never been one of my virtues," Scarlett said.

"There is going to come a day when Jax will want to be rid of Clay permanently and then it will be safe to tell him because your desire to get Clay locked up or dead will match with his."

"You will really think that day is going to come?" Scarlett asked skeptically.

"Sooner than you think. Bucky Jeffers is the key to making that day happen. For now, we need to focus on finding the son of a bitch that killed Violet."

"Can I do the peanuts?" Scarlett asked. Her father handed her a can of peanuts, a plastic bag and a small saucepan. "Thanks." She poured some peanuts into the bag and smashed them coarsely with the saucepan. She imagined she was smashing Gemma. Her father had to stop her before she smashed the peanut garnish too fine.

"It's scary being in his target group," Scarlett confessed while she put away peanuts in the pantry and the sauce pan in a cupboard. "I know to be careful. I'm always armed with both a gun and pepper spray. I set the security system every night."

"You don't have to help with the investigation. Jax and I can do it."

"That won't make me feel safer. Whether or not I investigate the murders, I'm still in the target group. Nothing's going to change that short of moving."

"When you open your store, I'll help you a lot and you're going to have to hire someone. I don't want you to be alone. We'll also come up with some kind of alarm system that you can wear."

"I can talk to David and find out if there are alarms that connect to the PD. I'll tell him I'm nervous with all the murders in the area. It's the truth."

"Good idea. You can use his crush on you to get him to provide you with a little more police attention."

"He's a really nice guy and I hate to use him, but I'm not going to let Violet's killer get me too."

"I met with Jax about his house. He wants to do the demo and renovate the house all at once. I couldn't pass up the opportunity to screw with him a little. I offered to let him stay in my guest house."

"Thanks a lot."

"I told him we could be bachelors together," Decker said chuckling at the memory.

"What happened?"

"He was so serious. He told me that he's with you and doesn't think of himself as a bachelor."

"He was lucky he said the right thing."

"Jax's a smart guy. I didn't expect him to take me up on my offer and we hit bars and pick up girls together. I just wanted to play him a little."

"Having him stay with me while his house is being renovated has some advantages. With a serial killer stalking women in Charming, it will good to have him protecting me."

"Jax has a great commitment to protecting you. He doesn't even mind sleeping in the same bed in order to keep a watchful eye on you."

"Knock that off," Scarlett said shaking her finger at him with mock sternness, her face flushed with embarrassment. She didn't really mind her father teasing her about Jax. At least he didn't make her feel guilty that they were sleeping together without being married. "He needs to sleep with me because that's when you're the most vulnerable."

"Uh-huh.," her father said grinning. "Has he been helping you with your exercises?"

"Yeah, he has. He is so careful especially making sure to lower my legs for me. I was embarrassed, but he made everything OK."

"I knew he wouldn't run away over discovering you can't lift or lower your legs."

"Yeah, he's been pretty great. He never makes me feel defective."

"You aren't defective."

"I know, but for awhile I wasn't sure I'd walk normally again. It's made me a better person though. I don't take being able to walk for granted. It's strange to be with Jax. I never would have predicted it. David's more my type, but Jax just stole my heart."

Decker broke up a pound of spicy sausage in his wok as it browned.

"I think Violet knew that you and Jax would get together. She got to know him and realized he was right for you."

Scarlett thought that over for several moments.

"Maybe. I can't picture Jax and Violet together. I just don't think about it. She was getting her life together finally and she was the one determined to get justice for Mom. I was too focused on me."

"Scarlett, you were focused on you because your psycho ex was trying to kill you. You were trying to stay alive. That's a damned good reason to keep a low profile."

"I guess," she said doubtfully. "I keep thinking that if I had been in Charming, I might have been able to save her."

"Or you could have been killed. There's no point thinking about what might have been. We will find Violet's killer."

"I really want to believe that just like I want to believe my psycho ex will really stay behind bars."

"He's not getting out."

"Of course he's not," she agreed her voice a little too bright.

Deep down inside, she was sure that psycho ex would find some way out by using money he had stashed somewhere to pay off someone, get out on bail and then come after her.

She wished she could shake the feeling, but she couldn't. In some ways, she was more afraid now than she was before he'd gotten locked up.