Special thank-you to Mary4ever, I appreciate your support! Bear with me through this chapter.

Flickering lamps in the poorly lit corridor made his eyes itchy and strain, swallowing him completely. Cal Lightman paced back and forth, glancing constantly at the double doors leading to the operating rooms.

"Come on, darling. You can make it through this. You have to."

He stopped pacing and slumped down into a chair, his head in his hands. The events of the past few hours were replaying in his mind, each one a painful reminder of how close he had come to losing her.

"I can't lose you, Gillian. I just can't."

The doors burst open and a surgeon stepped out, his face grim.

"Dr. Lightman?"

"Yes, I am. Is she okay?"

He hesitated, then placed a hand on Cal's shoulder.

"I'm sorry. We did everything we could, but Gillian didn't make it."

Cal's world shattered around him as the words sank in. He felt the tears welling up and he struggled to form a response.

"No...no, that can't be true. She's...she's supposed to be okay. She's supposed to be by my side."

The doctor nodded sympathetically and led Cal to a private room.

"I understand this is a difficult time for you, sir. If you follow me, we can discuss the next steps."

GILLIAN, GILLIAN, GILLIAN

…."Cal?" she said softly, squeezing his shoulder. "Cal, wake up, I'm right here."

He jolted awake, shaking and breathing rapidly, paralyzed by the fear. Gillian shifted closer to him, placing one of her hands on his chest and stroking his hair gently with the other.

"That's okay, whatever it is. You're safe. You don't need to worry about it anymore. Please, breathe: in and out."

Cal tried to focus on her tender voice, and the sense of dread started to subside slowly. He was able to look at her, his expression desperate and pleading.

"Gillian," he mumbled, barely above a whisper.

"I'll go get a glass of water from the kitchen to help you calm down."

"NO," he protested loudly as he drew her into his arms. "Don't go."

"I'm not going anywhere, Cal. Not now, not ever. I promise."

"But what if you do?"

Gillian looked at him quizzically, drawing soothing circles on the top of his arm.

"What do you mean?"

"I thought I lost you. In my dream, I…you were gone. What would I do without you?"

He flinched, scared that somehow retelling his dream manifests it into reality.

"You don't have to find out. I love you endlessly, and this won't change, even if everything else around us comes apart at the seams."

"I can't shake the feeling it might be a premonition, considering the risks of our job…I jeopardized your safety once, and it still eats me up."

"Nothing happened. it was just a scratch. You did save me, remember? You always do. I trust you, and I feel safe around you. You protect me at all costs."

Cal kissed her on the head, and she tightened her embrace.

"Night and day you know what to say to make me feel better. Don't let me do anything stupid to lose you, love."

She chuckled, sinking further into him.

"Never. As if you have a choice."

They talked for a while, with Gillian trying to distract his mind. The occasions where Cal showed vulnerability were as rare as hen's teeth, and she felt strongly that he was letting himself be observed and comforted; it made her feel special.

"Sleep tight. I'll be here when you wake up," she murmured as the exhaustion took over him.