Oi (in Cals' voice): I'm sorry I got caught up in my finals preparation. May is a really busy month for me, but I'm going to try to continue posting consistently. I am working on a new fic that involves a deeper look into all of the women in Lightman's life. The first chapter about his mother will be out later this week.

"You always did have a funny way of saying I love you," joked Zoe.

He didn't argue. Words were never Cal's fortes. Instead, it seemed as if even when he tried, they had a tendency to betray him, be stuck in his throat, or be sad at the wrong time for the wrong people. As a kid, he envied those who managed to talk their way out of any situation and get away with it. Describing his feelings petrified him twice as much. Little acts of service there, gentle touch here, and Bob's your uncle.

"Not a big deal, eh?"

Right. Up until he met someone who valued open communication more than anyone he ever knew, with words of affirmation as a love language. He has grown fond of her in an instant. That didn't help. After his divorce, he slowly started to realize how much he loved her. Not just romantically. In a million different ways. He loved the way she always sensed what he was thinking. He loved the way she challenged him, pushing him to be better. He loved the way she cared for everyone around her, putting their needs before her own. And he scolded her for that as well. But after all, weren't they two of a kind?

He didn't say any of this out loud. What he said was:

"I'm sorry, love."

"You get hit and it's okay, I get hit and suddenly it's time to throw in a towel?"

"Not worth it."

Or

"You wanna talk about it, love?"

Or

"You're supposed to take unnecessary risks."

"Not when it comes to you."

And her personal favorite

"Thank you for cleaning up my mess, Gillian."

He made her coffee when she seemed tired. The sugar monstrosity. He kept the brand she liked at his house, despite being a tea person. "I'm English, darlin'." He bought her the pastries whenever he would randomly "swing by" the bakery because "I like seeing a smile on your pretty face." He kept an eye on her when they weren't on good terms, due to his fear of vulnerability and the coping mechanism of pushing the ones he loved the most and testing their boundaries.

He couldn't bring himself to admit it. Alternatively, one evening he took her hand in his, interlacing their fingers. Gillian looked up at him, surprised, but didn't pull away.

Cal continued to hold her hand as they worked, squeezing it gently every so often to let her know he was there. As they finished up, Cal leaned in close to Gillian's ear and whispered, "You mean everything to me, you know that?"

Gillian turned to look at him, a small smile forming on her lips. "I know," she said softly.

Cal knew that she understood what he was trying to do, and that was enough for him for now. He leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her forehead before they both gathered their things and left the office. Soon. Soon he is going to say what she deserved to hear ages ago.