Chapter 26

Rummaging through Glaewon's medical closet, I pull out supplies I'll need to hide my situation. He has a large number of the wrappings, like any doctor would, and I've been practicing my binding technique for the last few days. Today is the day we head out and I plan to be prepared for-

"You are an early Thief, but not a quiet one."

"I am not stealing." Without turning around to address the Healer, I continue shoving my stash into the bag "You would have given them to me if I had asked. I just skipped the permission part because I didn't want to wake you."

"Your reasoning is hardly worth the words you use to speak it."

Despite his chastisement, the elf comes over to help me neatly arrange my bag. Watching him with a frown, I wonder how many other elves are like him. Despite residing in an elf's home for 2 weeks, Glaewon is the only elf I've allowed myself to really meet. In fact, aside from him, Lindir, and the nameless guide when we first arrived, I haven't spoken to any other elves. I've avoided Elrond like the plague, ducked and dodged any chance meeting with his kids, and literally hid under the bed from the maids. G is my only contact and funny thing is I honestly don't think Glaewon even knows my name. And I'm okay with it.

"Maaaaan. I've got issues."

"I agree. Tugging the bag shut, Glaewon offers it up to me with his ever-present frown. Slipping it onto my back, I head for the door but pause at his question "Why do you travel with the dwarves?"

"..." staring at the door way, I know I could just walk out. I could just leave and not answer. But he has asked so little of me and I don't mind saying the truth. So I turn to face the elf instead of leaving "You helped me by stitching my side. One of the dwarves is helping me Stitch my soul."

"Is that all?"

"Is that all?" Coughing out a laugh, I shake my head but then nod "Yeah, that's all. Nothing nefarious or Noble."

"Good. It would bring me no joy to see you or your child harmed due to the foolishness of dwarves... Or the foolishness of yourself." Walking to the exit, Glaewon stops at the door and looks back at me. Really looks at me. He says so much in that silence but it's the apology in his eyes that drops my gaze. He's sorry but not sorry FOR me. And I can appreciate that "Be well and may we meet again."

Listening to his footsteps fade, I briefly wonder if we will indeed ever meet again. Maybe I'll be healed by the end of the quest. Maybe not. Maybe the quest doesn't measure anything for me at all. Maybe it was just the way that I was supposed to meet Dwalin. I might be around for years... I don't even know if I'm going to be allowed to go home once everything is said and done. No one promised me that. No one said I even made me promise to help with the quest. No one promised me anything except for... change. Out of everything I do know, there is a sea of things that I don't. Even so, I do know this. I'm going to do my best.

Sitting on the Cliff's Edge, I wait for the dwarves. Thorin had spotted me up here maybe 10 or 15 minutes ago and the garbled sound he made brought everyone else up to speed on the situation. Still I have to wait for them to climb this far up. Just because they can see me doesn't mean they can quickly reach me. So I just watch them climb up the trail slowly; ignoring their growls and annoyed huffs of breath from below.

Could I just have waited for them and we all could have walked up as a group? Yes. But I need to remind them that I'm supposed to be a sighted gal and therefore a necessary person. So I look down on the group from my vantage point and wait for them to catch up to me. Hearing their thundering boots coming around the bend, I stand up and cross my arms impatiently.

"It took you all long enough." The king frowns as he approaches, allowing his brow to Furrow the closer he gets "What kept you?"

"We were searching for you." He doesn't shout but he doesn't unclench jaw either "I was under the impression that you would stop fighting us on your attendance."

"I don't remember ever saying that."

"Are you still against us?"

"I don't remember saying that either."

"Must you be so difficult, Farseer Bloodstone?"

"... No, I suppose not." Pressing my fingers into the side of my nose, I sigh "You know I was never against you in particular."

"... Yes, I suppose that is true." He begins to mimic my movement but immediately stops at seeing that I have already done it. Folding his arms, he instead resumes his interrogation "Do you know how we found out that you were no longer in the elvish home?"

"... Well-"

"An elf had to inform us that you'd gone ahead. An ELF."

"... You were in an elf's abode. Who else would tell you things? An orc?"

"... Farseer Bloodstone." he breathes deeply through his nose. Awww, I'm trying his patience "We have left behind the edges of civilization but we must remain civil. You may not be a dwarf but you are an asset, a liability, and an intelligent being. You will be treated as such, so long as you act as such."

"...Meaning?"

"Don't go climbin' mountains on yer lonesome, Lassie!"

Bofur's outburst actually causes me to jump. Getting a hold of myself, I return my attention to the dwarf and nod. I guess I can act like I have the sense of a lemon from now on.

"Alright, Thorin. You're right. I know that I'm not really a member of this company but I have good reason to travel with it. In addition you have good reason not to leave me behind. I'll do my best not to be a burden."

"... What has changed yer mind? Last I remember ye couldn't be bothered with any of this lot."

"... I'm selfish and this is in my best interest. Now let's go."

As I turn around, I know that Bofur doesn't believe that answer. I know that Dwalin is glad I gave it. I know that Thorin already knows the truth. I stand before them, a liar in their eyes, and they accept it. They accept my answers because it is in their best interest to do so. Funny.

They need me as much as I need them and as such we will completely and utterly ignore the truth. Because the truth hurts, you know? I allow most of the group to pass me by before I start walking again. Right now, it's all I can do.

"Bloodstone." I blink down at the hobbit beside me. He IS light on his feet "Your family name is quite explicit."

"It's hardly anything scary. It really just means Red Rock... Our family crest, back when we needed one, was heavily surrounded in garnet. I think that's how we made our money or something. Sometime... somewhere along the line someone changed it and we got stuck with Bloodstone instead."

"I see. And your given name... Atina Marie was it?"

"Just Atina. Marie is my middle name."

"Ah... It is a... very unique name either way." Bilbo shuffles at my right, looking out into the open-air at our side "How did your parents choose it?"

"... My grandfather named us. Atina and Anita. It's the same name twice over, just spelled backwards." He blinks up at me, trying to say something nice but I just shrug. There's not much you can say that's nice about a grandfather being too wonky to think of two names "This is the same guy who named our dog Killer instead of Mr. Woofles like we wanted."

"Woofles... Right. Your dog." Clearing his throat, Bilbo kicks a pebble off the path. It's skitters to the edge, just short of falling off. I can't help but be reminded that soon enough... that pebble is going to be Bilbo "Have you... Have you forgiven Master Dwalin for... That?"

"No, of course not." My chest tightens, affirming the denial. No matter what Dwalin can do for me, he cannot undo that. "I have not forgiven him and I don't think I ever will."

"..."

"But like I said, I'm here for me, not for him."

"R-Right." Returning his gaze to the open-air, The hobbit gathers is courage. "About what you said in the forest... About how you... um... the..."

"The whole cannibalistic rapist thing?"

"... Yes." Dropping his eyes to the ground before peeking up at me, Bilbo puffs up his chest. Quite a strange combination "Are you... All right?"

"No."

"O-Oh."

"But I will be." Puffing out my own chest, I look ahead. It just so happens that's Dwalin looks back at me at the same time. We hold each other's gaze for a moment before he nods to me and then turns back around "I will be."

Hi there! I got a review from a reader that was kind of upset about the fact that I did not include Oin in the list of the dying characters. I know that Oin dies, down in Moria but I did not include him. This is due to a number of reasons.

One is that I could not find a place for his name to fit smoothly. Thorin, as a king, stands alone. Balin and Ori were physically closer so I put them in. Then there's Fili and Kili who will always be mentioned together. There was no room or rather nobody to match Oin with. He was, unfortunately, the least important.

More importantly, Atina just doesn't care. Thorin, Fili, and Kili are Royalty and their loss would be important to Dwalin, in Atina's eyes. A failure on his part. So would Balin's being that he is his brother. Ori is someone that Atina herself has a bond with, she mentions his innocense a couple of times, so he's 'important' to her. Oin however is not. Oin dying doesn't matter to her, thus she doesn't list him as a loss.

In conclusion, Oin was not forgotten he was purposely left out. He just doesn't matter to Atina and that is supposed to say something, if you know how to read into it, about who she favors. Even if she doesn't know she favors them.