Total Drama Endless, Episode One, Part Two
...
Cast List
Team One
Wednesday Addams (The Addams Family)
Perry the Platypus (Phineas and Ferb)
Heinz Doofenshmirtz (Phineas and Ferb)
Rick Sanchez (Rick and Morty)
Dipper Pines (Gravity Falls)
Letsplay Lenny (Original)
Beatrice (Over the Garden Wall)
Indiana Jones (Indiana Jones)
Roy Brown (Original)
Team Two
Julie Powers (Scott Pilgrim)
Winry Rockbell (Fullmetal Alchemist)
Bentley (Sly Cooper)
Ramona Flowers (Scott Pilgrim)
Tomoko (Watamote)
Amethyst (Steven Universe)
Yao (Mulan)
Tails (Sonic the Hedgehog)
Perky (Original)
Team Three
Yae Saotome (Saotome Senshu)
Lapis Lazuli (Steven Universe)
Susie Derkins (Calvin and Hobbes)
Athena (Greek Mythology)
Marked Improvement (Original)
Princess Peach (Super Mario Bros)
Janna Ordonia (Star vs the Forces of Evil)
Fluttershy (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)
Master Tigress (Kung Fu Panda)
We open on a sunny street a few blocks from the sun-drenched Pacific coast. Conner O'Gleeson, the noted television host and starship captain sits outside a coffee shop. He looks up and addresses the camera.
"Oh hello. Didn't see you there, I was engrossed in this grossly overpriced Bean Machine coffee." He takes a sip and makes a revolted face. "Oh, boy that's… Jeffrey I need you!"
A rather nondescript man in his mid to late thirties walks over to Conner with all the excitement of a floor lamp.
"Yes?" He asks in a dull monotone.
"Come here and try this coffee" Conner insists. "it's to die for."
Jeffrey takes the cup and smells it. "Judging by the amount of chemicals in there I'd say so."
"Oh really Mr. coffee expert? That brew's lethally American is it?" Conner says giving his assistant an amused look.
"While it wouldn't be fatal in the short term in the amounts of added sugars and-"
"Alright shut up Jeffrey, no one cares." Conner turns back to the camera and gestures to Jeffrey. "Jeffrey Sawicki by the way, biggest fake Italian douche this side of New Jersey. If you don't hate him already, I worry for you. "
Conner turns to another direction before going on. As if anticipating a camera cut.
"…But we're not here to talk about Jeffrey's quest to become human, or even the dangerous amount of chemicals I get from my daily cup of joe. No, we're here in sunny Los Santos, San Andreas because last episode we began a something of a competition. One that'll take us across the multiverse. Twenty-seven young, plucky, and starry eye contestants were split into three groups and have just taken to the streets of this fair city. What say we see what they're up to right now?"
Cut to the South Los Santos.
It's already clear that when it comes to speed, Team One lives up to its name. They've already put a good distance between them and the competition by the time Indy stops next to a SUV.
"How's this one look?" He asks. "Big enough?"
"Are you kidding? Going off looks, that thing could fit a whole marching band." Beatrice replies giving the machine a look.
"Ah yes, the Granger." Letsplay Lenny muses. "An eight-seater sports unity vehicle based off the Chevrolet Suburban, Truly an all-American car for an all-American game."
The others give him a look.
"We're in a video game world. And video games are something of my area of expertise." He says.
"Uh… Great. What's a video game?" Asks Beatrice.
"He can explain that later." Indy retorts as he jams and elbow through the car's front window shattering it. he opens the door and starts fiddling around in it. Dipper gives the others an awkward look
"So I guess that's how were starting off this game? Just jumping right in to stealing cars huh?" He asks.
"Look Kid. We got ground to cover." Indy mutters from inside car.
"That and the host did blatantly endorse doing this." Roy adds. "So, you really don't have much of a case here short stuff."
"Well I mean just because we get a pass to give up our morality doesn't mean we have to right guys? Am I right?"
"Yeah, right. Because that ship didn't set sail years ago." Rick snarks. Standing behind him Doofenshmirtz gives the scientist a good look and gasps.
"Wait, wait, hold on a second," He grabs Rick by the shoulder. "Are you an evil scientist too? Oh, I love it when meet people with the same interests outside of work."
Rick gives him an unamused look and reaches for his flask. "Yeah, I can already tell you're going to be a real turd for the rest of the game." Doctor Doofenshmirtz looks hurt for a moment.
"Oh. Oh okay I see you're not just an evil scientist but also a rude scientist too." His expression brightens. "Nice touch."
"Could we maybe you know get a second opinion from someone who isn't a mad scientist?" Dipper asks, then looks to Beatrice. "W-What about you? Come on I mean no offense, but you look like your out of a Victorian doll house, what to you have to say about this?"
"Victorian Doll House Girl says we should steal."
"Seriously?"
Beatrice shrugs. "No one wants to lose the first-round kid."
"Well, I mean that's understandable, but what about the other girl?" Dipper asks. "She's younger than I am, is this the kind of example we should be setting for her?"
They hear a click and the sound of the engine running. Wednesday's taken over for Indy and has just successfully hotwired the car.
"How's that?" She asks. Indy grins.
"Nicely done kid."
"Alright, let's ride boys, more time we wait here the farther we are from gold." Says Roy.
Rick wipes his mouth with his sleave. "Let's riggity riggity wreck 'em son!"
"Wait!" Dipper pleads. "maybe just one sec to think about thi-"
Everyone else piles into the vehicle and speeds off without him. Dippers left on the side of the road, already looking like he's done with his team.
Perry speeds up to him riding a scooter. He chitters and gestures for Dipper to get on.
"Eh tu Perry?"
Perry shakes he's head and points.
Cut to down the street
"All right! That Platypus just gave me fifty bucks to barrow my bike!" A pedestrian cries happily.
Cut back to Dipper and Perry
Perry gestures for Dipper to get on again.
Dipper sighs.
"Eight other people in my team and it's the Platypus I have the most faith in. That's a good sign Dipper."
He gets on and they speed off.
Cut to Team Three.
Team three is on the road as well, although with a slightly different approach than their competition.
"Team! You may all largely be of some strange species of monkey living in an advanced and alien society." Tigress tells them. "But I've seen less likely figures forge a path to victory! Guide me through your foreign customs and I am confident we will achieve victory together."
Janna whose riding shotgun smirks. "Sweet. So, what do you bring to the table? Besides being a tiger lady?"
"I've spent years mastering the ancient arts of Kung fu."
"So, you're a tiger that knows kung fu?" Janna asks then nods to herself in a satisfied way. "Pretty sweet. Can defiantly see that being helpful."
She turns her head to the back of the car where Fluttershy, Tigress and Markus are all siting.
"Horse girl, what about you? You know karate or something?" She asks the mare.
"Oh no, I couldn't see myself learning something so violent." Fluttershy says timidly.
"Alright cool. So you're cannon fodder then." Replies Janna.
"What was that?"
"I said you're cannon fodder dude. You hear? Do I need to turn down the radio or something?"
Markus suddenly looks excited. "Yo! Turn up the radio, they're playing my song."
"Is this one of your favorite ballads?" Tigress asks.
"Nah I mean I wrote it." He replies.
"This is your music?" Says Fluttershy.
"Yeah, I wrote it just for the game, tied it in and captured the feeling of what's it's like here in Los Santos."
Janna gives him a skeptical look. "You wrote a whole song for this place and you didn't recognize it when we got here?
"I didn't expect to be in this city right out of the gate aight?" Markus insists. "This isn't really first intro level ****? Like it's all about that thug, hood life and crime and beating up white boys and all that kind of nasty ****. Like that's the lifestyle here, which makes it weird that we acting so legal."
He gestures around at the taxi cab the four of them have been sitting in this whole time. the rest of there team's in another cab close behind them.
"Yeah, I mean it'd have been fun to a steal a car." Janna admits before turning to their cabby. "but this guy seems to know where he's going right my dude?"
"Yes miss." He replies in a thick Indian accent. Janna nods again.
"Yeah… He knows."
"Public service workers are often knowledgeable about the local area. It's a safe bet our escort knows the places where our goal is." Tigress adds.
"Your song's pretty sweet though Markus." Janna says. Markus grins.
"Thanks, I appreciate it."
He leans over to Fluttershy
"What about you, dig my song?"
"Oh, well um…"
The rap song blaring from radio has Markus screaming about all sorts of horrible illicit activities.
"It's very… unique."
She smiles sheepishly.
Markus nods.
"Tight."
Cut to team two.
Unlike the others team two has not in fact grabbed a car, illegally or legally, instead their patrolling on foot, walking down a road called Grove street. Julie watches Perky struggle to keep in her goldfish bowl.
"You know we should get a car, some of us are slowing everyone else down."
"I'd like to see you do this good with a set of a fins." Perky mutters grumpily.
"Actually, I think our little fox friend said something about going to something called an airport with the shy girl, and the purple lady and nabbing what do you call it? A plane?" Winry says.
"Great. What'd are we doing here then?" Julie asks.
"Maybe we can talk to some locals and see if they can offer us any help." Suggests Winry.
Ramona Shrugs. "It's worth a shot."
"No one asked your opinion Ramona." Julie retrots.
"Yeah… Nice to see you too Julie." Ramona says coolly.
Yao glance between the two ladies confused.
"Wait? You two know each other?"
"No."
"Vaguely."
"Huh." Says Yao. "Wish some of my army buddies were here. Then we'd win this thing for sure. He leans over to Winry smugly. "We saved China from the Huns you know."
He winks at her, Winry giggles. Bentley the turtle mechanic whistles.
"All of China you say? Very Impressive."
"That's nothing!" Perky begins. "I once brought a whole field army of space squids to help be invade the surface world in the name of the… "
The other five have stopped what they're doing to stare at her.
"I uh… I mean. I'm just mermaid sweeties, don't worry about me or my motives." She smiles at them innocently.
Ramona gives her a look. "Right… Let's just go talk to some locals already."
They gang walks up to a small group of police officers sipping coffee.
"-I met this girl on a 459 call she's the victim's roommate. Hot as hell. I told her I may have to question her again." Says one.
The other laughs. "Yeah!"
They chuckle before looking up at team two.
"Better quit starring at us ladies." Says the first officer.
"Yeah, move along, this is police business." Demands his partner
"Sorry officers, I was just wondering if you could help us?" Winry asks.
The officers soften their stance. "Sure. What do you need?"
Him and Winry begins discussing local points of Interest. Meanwhile some of the neighbourhood residents walk by. Grove street seems to be a rough neighbourhood, reminiscent of Compton, and its people reflect that.
A passerby gets an eyeful of the woman and smirks at them. "Yo, what up ladies?"
"Mm, Ain't to often we get fine looking things round this hood." Muses his friend.
"You girl's want to let us in on some of that?"
Yao gets in between the hoodlums on his teammates.
"Listen here chump, you want these girls? you gotta go through me."
The two locals laugh.
"Fo' real? All I gotta do is tackle yo midget, Harvey Fierstein sounding ass?" One of them asks incredulously. "Well **** dawg I'll bite. Easiest booty call this side of the Vanilla Unicorn."
He goes in for the approach. Yao with surprising ferocity for his size sucker punches the man in the jaw, sending him flying backwards.
The other passerby curses loudly and runs away, the rest of team looks fairly shocked as well.
"Yao!" Cries Winry.
Yao looks over realising he's just knocked a man unconscious in front of the police.
"Oops. Sorry, officer."
The officer laughs. "All good in the hood."
"Yeah, nobody likes those dumb ass gangsters anyway."
Bentley tips his hat to them. "Ah, we appreciate you're understanding officers." He mumbles. Yao laughs.
"I'm gonna like this place, you guys are alright."
He slaps one of the officers on the back, they immediately draw their pistols and point them at Yao.
"FREEZE SCUMBAG!"
"You're under arrest for assaulting an officer of the law punk!"
Yao backs away slowly. "Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa!"
"HE'S RESISTING ARREST!"
"SHOOT TO KILL!"
They start firing madly at Yao and the rest of the team, the gang decides wisely to not stick around, and spirits through the nearest house's lawn.
"Maybe a car would be a good idea after all!" Winry pants.
"You think!?" Retorts Ramona.
"Ladies allow me to improve our situation."
Two robotic arms extend out from Bentley's wheelchair and grab on to a parked van nearby, the door unlocks and they all pile in. Behind them one of the officer's shouts into his radio.
"Dispatch, these animals are behind the wheel! WE NEED BACKUP NOW!"
"Get us the hell out of here!" Julie demands. Bentley floors the breaks and they speed off, Squad cars in pursuit.
Cut to Team One.
Back with the team one, Wednesday Addams been driving her team up the beach, Terrified beachgoers bailing out of the way as she goes.
Roy gazes out the window boredly. "So… Is there any particular reason we're trying to run over sunbathers?" He asks. "Or have we given up on finding these McGuffins already?
"Horrible as the direct sunlight is, this beach gives us the best field of view in the city." She replies.
"Yeah, hate to poke holes in your excuse you little psycho" Rick begins. "But what about those mountains over there or what about that, OH ****!"
"What?"
"They've got a pier and Amusement park son! Pull over."
Rick grabs the wheel from Wednesday and skits the car to a stop in front of a pier near identical to the one at Santa Monica.
"Hang on a minute doc, were supposing to be looking for those idols." Says Indy.
"Yup, well" Rick belches. "Change of plan. were riding the… going to the fair now."
"Ah, Brilliant." Lenny declares "The Del Perro Pleasure Pier, based off it's famous Santa Monica counterpart this beauty's a must see for any player of Grand Theft Auto V."
"Welp there you go, famous place, statue must be hidden here." Rick says already walking away from them. "I'll check the roller coaster and any and all places selling alcohol."
"Oh wait! Take me with you!" Calls Doofenshmirtz.
To late, Rick's spirited off.
Indy grumbles.
"I mean the guys is a scientist." Beatrice admits. "Yeah, he's blowing us off. But he might actually be on to something by looking here."
"Even a broken clock is right twice a day." Pipes Lenny.
Doof stills looks slightly disappointed. "Eh yeah but, I kind of wanted to go on the rides with him, we've got so much in common it'd be nice to get to know him better. Now who am I going to the park with?"
Something tugs on his pants leg. Doctor Doofenshmirtz gasps.
"Perry the Platypus! How long have you been in this game?"
Perry chitters.
Doof blushes "Did you sign up just to spy on me?" he asks in a mock accusational tone.
Perry shrugs guiltily.
"You're a good friend Perry the Platypus. Now come, let's go ride the Ferris wheel."
He skips off like a school child, Perry scampers after him. Upbeat feel good music starts playing. Indiana looks around startled
"The hell is that?"
"Yeah, that was happening while I was on the bike with him to." Dippers explains walking over from the parked bike. "This place is weird even by my standards."
Cut to Team three.
The two cabs have pulled up to a large sign overlooking the city. It spells out VINEWOOD.
Most of the team wait by the cab. Susie walks up to them looking disappointed.
"They're not here."
Jump cut.
They've pulled up in front of in the tallest building in city. Tigress walks out the front door.
"This isn't the place."
Jump cut.
Now there outside a Movie studio.
"This is not the place we're looking for." Says Athena
Jump cut.
The Imposing art deco tower of the city hall looms over them.
Peach walks out looking excited.
"Yeah! Peachy got it!" She cries happily.
"Actually though?" Janna asks surprised.
Peach nods and holds out a little pastry. Janna stares at the thing in disbelief
"Yeah…" Lapis says shortly. "So turns out Peach or whatever her name is, is kind slow on the uptake."
Janna nods resignedly. "More cannon fodder, got it."
Jump cut.
There in the parking lot of a fast-food restaurant called "Cluckin' Bell"
Markus walks out arms full of food.
"Find anything?" Lapis asks.
"Nah, there was like no chance it was ever going to be in there."
"Then why did we stop here?" Demands Tigress.
Markus replies simply. "My stomach was growling."
Quite of few of the girls face palm
Jump cut.
Janna throws up her hands. "Ah, this is stupid. They could be anywhere!"
It's later in the day. The girls (and Markus) have stopped at the waterfront near the pier, bereft of any more ideas where their idol could be.
"Have we checked Vinewood Boulevard yet?" Susie asks.
"Twice." Yae replies
"Maybe we could check again to be sure?"
Yae looks at her
"…Or not."
"Maybe they forgot to put the statues in?" suggests Fluttershy.
"Right, kind of like how our escorts forget to turn the meter off when we stop." Says Janna.
Their two cabbies give them an annoyed look.
The one Janna had been travelling with pips up indignantly. "You're with that game show are you not? If you people can afford to close off a mountain you can afford to pay extra on a cab."
"Come again?" Athena asks him.
"It was on the radio this morning. The peak of Mt Chiliad was closed because of a game show. That was your people wasn't it?"
The team looks at one another.
"You guys don't think…" Begins Susie.
"… That there's no way those statues aren't on top of that mountain?" Lapis finishes.
Janna places her hands together definitively. "Ladies and Rapper, I think we just found our prize."
"Yay!" Cries Peach.
"Excellent." Smiles Tigress.
"Yo that's Tight!" Says Markus.
"Best part is, none of the other team's know anything about it" Janna smirks.
"Wait, what?"
They spin around, Heinz Doofenshmirtz is standing behind them with an oversized stuffed animal and a cotton candy.
"Nothing dude. No worry about it."
"Oh really, because I could have sworn you we're talking about knowing where those Chris statues wer-WAIT A MINUTE!"
"You heard nothing!"
Janna runs up to Doof and punches him in the jaw, knocking him over.
"Come on, let's get out of here!" She yells to him team before vaulting into the nearest cab.
Doof gets up in a panic and calls him his own team. "They know where the statues are!"
Beatrice drops an ice cream cone to point at Team Three. "After them!"
Team Three bolts into their cabs and speed off. Team One following a minute later.
Cut to Vespucci Beach.
A kilometre south Team Two rockets down the road in the stolen van, At least a dozen polices cars in pursuit.
"Driver, this is the LSPD! Pull over immediately!"
Perky shoves her head out the back window. "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE US ALIVE PIGS!"
They take a hard turn, Almost knocking her out of her bowl. She turns around and glares at Bentley (Who's driving.)
"Watch it will ya!" She snapes. "I'm no good out of this thing."
"You're no good in that thing either." Snip Julie hotly.
"You watch it sister! You don't know the people I've killed!" The mermaid retorts.
Julie rolls her eyes. Ramona leans over Bentley's shoulder.
"Please tell me where losing them?"
"On the contrary it appears their gaining on us."
"Stop your vehicle right ******* now, or I swear I am going to kill ya!" Screams a husky voice from the car behind them.
"Why are they so mean?" Asks Winry.
"Don't take it personally, just been mean back at 'em." Yao insists.
He unbuckles his seat beat and squirms in between the driver and the passenger seats. And points out the windshield
"Turn here up ahead, it'll throw 'em off!"
Bentley adjusts his glasses and points to the left "This turn?"
"NO! NOT THAT ONE!" Screams Yao.
Bentley swerves the car to the left.
Cut to below.
Of all the sights of the Los Santos, one of the most unique and glamorous would be the Jetty Hotel. True in the wealthy beachside district of Pacific Bluffs, luxury hotels are a dime a dozen, however what sets the Jetty above the rest is its location. The resort is built into small cliff face at end of Playa Vista street, meaning that visitors to the seven-story building could drive right off the street and into a parking garage on its roof. Now supposedly this would also mean it'd be possible to swerve into the parking garage, overshoot it and come crashing through its flimsy glass railing and off a seven-story cliff, but one would have to be going incredibly fast to do it. Much like Bentley currently is.
Sure, enough he steers them into the parking garage at full speed, spending them straight through the lot and over the side of the roof.
"Bail!" Yao yells. He and the other five bail out right as they go over the edge, landing in the Hotel swimming pool. Their van (as well as most of the police chasing it) soars pass them, crashing into a gas station and exploding into a ball of flames further down the cliff.
Winry hauls herself out of the pool panting. "Is everyone okay?"
"Yes, no thanks to the turtle." Julie grumbles.
Yao glares at Bentley who's just resurfaced besides him. "Yeah, Next time try opening your eyes you dumb reptile."
"I'm sorry, but I was following your directions after all." He pleads. Yao grabs him by the collar and raises his fist.
"Why I ought to.."
"Wait." Says Ramona. "Shut up a minute and look at that."
They stop what their doing and look where she's pointing. Zooming by the flaming gas station two cabs are zooming down the highway, a red SUV chasing after them, even from a distance they can make out the voices of Rick, Markus and Doofenshmirtz.
"That sounds like the other two teams." Winry says.
"Yeah, and they seem like there in a rush, don't they?" Says Ramona. "Almost like they found out where something is?"
Winry's eyes widen. "The statues!"
"Exactly."
"What are we waiting around here for?" Asks Yao tossing down Bentley. "We got to follow 'em!"
"With what?" Says Julie. "Our van exploded, or have you already forgotten that?"
All of a suddenly they hear the sound of roaring engine above them.
Cut to the Highway.
The cabs speed along, Athena, Markus, Lapis and Tigress in one, everyone else in the other. The urban cityscape quickly becoming rolling hills. Athena looks behind them.
"Our enemies' approach, we need either hasten our pace or let lose the dogs of war and strike them before they have the chance to do the same to us."
"My sincerest apology." The Cabbie says. "But race or no race I must obey the rules of the road."
"Bro, we're not playin' they're coming for us Yo!" Markus says.
"Once again sir. I understand the frustration however-"
Team one slams into their bumper jolting them all forward. They hear Rick shouting behind the wheel.
"Get out of the way *******."
"Dear goodness, they're trying to run us off the road!" The Cabby observes in a panic.
"Was that not obvious enough for you!?" Athena asks him.
Markus grabs the wheel. "Aiight, new plan, I drive, you give directions."
"I'll hold them off." Tigress says. She leaps out of her seat through the window and with terrifying skill lands perfectly on windshield of the SUV
Rick let's out a string of profanity, and swerves madly.
"Keep your eyes on road!" Shouts Indy.
"Love to pal, but it's hard with the PYSCHOTIC NINJA TIGER WOMAN ON THE HOOD!"
"Fine, I'll deal with it then!"
He reaches across Rick and pounds his fist into the horn. Tigress jumps and is thrown onto the roof. She sinks her claws into it hang out. Several of the people inside duck as she leaves long gashes in their ceiling.
Suddenly there's a loud buzzing sound overhead, Tigress looks up. A twin-engine cargo helicopter in military camouflage is flying low over them, Team two is back in the race.
Tails calls down to them cheerfully. "Hi guys! Bye guys!"
"HA HA! THAT'S RIGHT EAT IT!" Amethyst cackles.
Siting behind them Winry smiles at the both of the them gracious. "Thanks for coming to pick us up guys."
"No prob." Says Amethyst. "Nice to have company besides her."
She points to Tomoko who's sitting in the corner seemingly having a panic attack.
"… Yeah, she's not cut out for this." Ramona observes.
"I'll give her a week." Comments Amethyst.
"I'll give her a day." Says Yao.
"Yeah…" Say Amethyst. "What about fish girl? You think you can last this out?"
She looks over to Perky who lost her bowl in the crash and is flopping around on the floor of the helicopter like a dying fish.
"Just hurry up and win already." She grumbles.
Cut back to the Others
Rick curses up at the helicopter.
"Hey, why didn't steal a helicopter?" Asks Doofenshmirtz almost indignantly. "That's such a good idea."
"Because your shared idiocy is overpowering my genius." Rick retorts. "You can cry about later, right now I've got a plan, and step one to losing this ******* Tiger!"
He serves the car violently throwing Tigress off the roof. She lands gracefully on her feet then without missing a beat hops from car to passing car until she makes it back to her cab.
"I've bought us time but they're still coming." She pants.
"You fought valiantly." Athena assures her.
"There's another problem." Says Tigress. "Team Two's arrived with a flying machine."
From the back of the cab Lapis smiles. "Guess it's my turn then."
She climbs onto the top of the cab and unfurls two wings of liquid water from her back,
She calls down to the others. "Hang on to something."
She grabs hold of the roof and picks the car off the road. They're airborne.
Markus laughs.
"Yo fo real?" Markus laughs. "Why didn't you tell us you could fly?"
"You didn't ask."
"Man, that's fire, I love it." Markus smiles to himself. "This team's dope as ****"
"Yes, It's certainly aids our cause, but what of our sisters in the other vehicle?" Athena says.
Lapis thinks for a moment. "Alright, give me a second, this is gonna need some concentrating."
She lets go of the car with one hand. From below water from a stream running by the road flows up onto the highway and surrounds the other cab, creating a bubble around it. She lifts her hand the cab in the bubble rises into the sky with them. Team one's not happy.
"Ah phooey, their going beat us!" Exclaims Beatrice.
"Did I really just hear someone say ah phooey?" Rick says.
Beatrice gives him a dirty look. "You know what? If you're so smart tell me, did your plan count on the other team knowing how to fly?"
"My plans great and you need to shut the **** up and trust it. Now everybody tuck your balls in, we're taking this thing off road."
They've made it to the base of what must be Mt Chiliad. Rick veers off the highway and starts driving up the mountain side.
Cut to the top of Mt Chiliad.
At the very peak of the mountain Conner stands waiting, three busts of Chris Mclean by his side.
"Well Jeremy, they're almost here, can you feel the excitement in the air?"
Jeremy gurgles.
"You're right sugarcakes, our contenders have a put up a great fight. Quite honestly it went so much better than I ever expected it to, which is saying more about my hosting skills than the, chutzpah of our players. It's been a tight race but their can only be one winner and it's going to be…"
Two taxi cabs land in front of him with spray of water.
"Team One wins our first destination!" Conner shouts.
Athena hops out of her taxi and grabs the gold bust. The others cheer.
"Yes!" Shouts Janna.
"Excellent." Tigress says.
"Yay! Peach is the winner!"
"Well yes, but more so our team won. You personally didn't much aid in our cause." Athena corrects her.
The Princess starts dancing without acknowledging her. "Go Peachy, Go Peachy, Go Peachy! Yay! Woohoo!"
"I take listening isn't your strong suit?" Athena says. Janna pats her on the back.
"Let her have this. I don't think we're dealing with a full deck here anyway."
Lapis floats back down in the ground. Susie and Fluttershy run over to hug her.
"That was incredible!" She gushes.
"It was nothing." Lapis says dismissably. "It's literally what I was programed for."
Cut to team two.
Despite their vehicle advantage, Team two, never having been properly told where the statues were, have fallen behind.
"There!" Tails says pointing. "I see them, they're at the top of the mountain."
"Great, so much for that first-place reward." Julie grumbles.
"Where's the other guys?" Asks Ramona.
Tails points. "They're already halfway up the mountain!"
"Then we got to move!" Yao says. "Come on! Push this bucket of bolts as fast it can go!"
Tails pulls down the throttle they speed up.
Cut to team one.
Dipper glances out the back window uncertainly. "Guys, don't mean to alarm anyone but their gaining on us!"
"I got this, just trust in the plan dammit." Rick insists.
He slams on the gas the SUV powers up the hill, but the steep angles of the mountain side are beginning to prove to difficult for their drive shaft. Suddenly, they lose forward momentum entirely.
"No, Goddammit NO!" Rick shouts.
The engine roars violently and before cutting out entirely,
"Son of a-"
They start slipping back down the mountain. Team two cheers as they pass them.
Tails land the helicopter in front of Conner, he stands there waiting for them, silver statue in hand. Just as Tails reaches out grab it, a green portal opens next to him. Rick Sanchez leaps out of it and take the bust. His team right behind him.
"PYCHE *******!" He yells. "Get Wrecked son!"
Tails looks around desperately. "What! But you were just…"
"Tricking you into to thinking you had a chance, Yeah. It's hilarious." Rick gestures to Conner. "Just ask this guy."
Team two looks appalled, Conner's in tears.
"And, out of nowhere team one takes second place. Oh my god that was dirty."
"There no way you're accepting, that right?" Ramona askes him.
Conner looks at them guiltily, suppressing another laugh.
"Now here's the thing… "He admits. "I may or may not have forgotten that Rick had a portal gun on him, which and I fully realise here I'm redirecting you're anger to me, so please be gentile but… For the sake of fairness, I'll going to have to allow this. Team one wins the silver Chris. Unfair and square."
"Yes!" Shouts Doof.
"Nice." Beatrice says.
She and Doofenshmirtz high five.
"Are you serious?" Asks Julie incredulously
Rick looks smug. "Yeah, that's right. Pay tribute to the superior intellect."
"Alright, easy there, tiger." Conner says. "I'm allowing this once but don't to it again. I'm already afraid of the look on Yao's face, I don't want to see what in store if this becomes a regular thing."
Yao's bulldog-esque face is bright red and contorted in rage. He's grinding his teeth aggressively.
"Team two, much as for my own safety I'd prefer not to twist the knife too much but…" Conner says cautiously. "You got to send someone home."
"Mermaid girl." Julie says instantly.
"WHAT!?" Shouts Perky.
"Is at least a majority of you okay with that?" Conner asks.
The others nod in agreement.
"Alright, Sorry Perky. We'll be having more formal eliminations in the future but for today that's enough to mean you're out."
"Why me!?" She asks.
Ramona gives her an apologetic look. "Sorry, sis, but if we want to stop losing, we can't let anything slow us down from now on."
"And you know. No one wants to go but it's still got to be one of us." Amethyst adds.
"But! Guys, no! I can't lose this early I promised someone I wouldn't! Come on, it's not fair just give me a CHAAAAAAAAAA-"
Conner takes Ricks gun and opens up a portal beneath Perky, sending the mermaid girl out of the dimension and out of the game.
"Well you always hate to see it happen, but you'd get no where without it." Conner says handing the gun back to Rick. "Just like that we're down to twenty-six players. Will we be seeing team two recover from this? Tune in next time to find out because if you think today was crazy, then I got news for you."
He rolls up his sleeve and presses a bottom on a device on his wrist. The Wax Lip starship from earlier sheds it cloaking device, revealing it to be hovering right above them.
"We're only just getting started. Now beam us up boys!"
A tractor beam shot down from the ship, pulling the remaining players and their host up into the ship before speeding off. Up and onwards to new adventures.