Total Drama Endless, Episode Four
...
Another night had been declared to have pasted aboard the good ship of the wax lip and a new challenge day has began. With it comes a sense of determination amongst the Fact Hunters.
Dipper Pines wheels a blackboard in front of his teammates as they watch from their beds.
"Alright, here's where our standings are..."
He whips out a ruler from behind his back and starts pointing to things as he speaks.
"We are now four days into this game give or take and so far, we're doing pretty well for ourselves. We've got warm beds, an endless supply of candy, and even that terrifying mistake of nature, assuming you want to count that as a positive."
He looks uneasily at the Arthropleura they acquired last round, which is currently curled up affectionately next to Wednesday Addams.
"His name is Artie. You will address him as such." Wednesday says, tying a bow onto the creature's neck.
"I refuse to humanize the giant bug." Dipper says shortly.
"Mind getting back on point?" Beatrice asks. "We don't have all day."
"Right, of course." Dipper says. "So, as I was saying, we're easily the best team in the game right now. That mean we can relax now right?"
"Yes!" Doofenshmirtz cries enthusiastically.
"WRONG!"
Dipper yells so suddenly half the room jumps.
"Kid's got a point." Roy R Brown says nonchalantly. "...for once. We've put a target on back's and other teams are bleeding members. They might resort to teaming up to bring us down."
"Yes! My point exactly!" Dipper says. "Thank you, Roy."
"Anytime." Says Roy.
"Wait, you're saying because we're winning, we should be more worried than usual?" Doof asks.
"Yes!" The others shout impatiently.
"Oh wow, I had no idea." Doof says genuinely surprised. "You know I'm quite new to this whole "winning" thing, theirs still a lot to learn about it apparently. Perry the Platypus, you're an expert on winning, why haven't I ever asked you about it?"
Perry shrugs.
"Okay, so, we need to think up ways to keep winning." Beatrice says. "Anyone got any?"
"Yeah I got one."
Rick Sanchez stumbles out of their shared bathroom we're he had passed out the night before.
"Only reason, we ever lose is when the other teams use those cheap gem aliens they both have." Rick says.
"They're just using the natural abilities they were created with, nothing unfair about that." States Letsplay Lenny.
"Yeah, right. I can't use the portal gun I invented on my own, but the other teams get pastel coloured, flying, transforming scantly clad women with super strength. That sounds real fair." Rick snarls.
He takes a swing from his flask
"If we want to actually be the smart team instead of just acting like it, then I'd suggest getting rid of the gems."
"Great idea Rick." Dipper says sarcastically, looking annoyed at being upstaged. "… and how are we supposed to do that?"
"I think Roy was the one that mentioned the other teams forming an alliance?" Rick says.
"What about it?" Dipper asks.
"Maybe we should beat them to the punch, or at least act like we are until they let their guard down, then we shove their gem into the nearest hazard." Rick suggests.
"Rick! We're not winning by maiming someone." Dipper shouts.
"It's how we won last time kid." Indiana says with a glance at Wednesday who smirks wickedly.
The door swings open as the Fact Hunters all crane their necks down to see Yerdey Yisme enter the room
"Morning gentleman!" Says the squid. "Hate to bring an end to all this talk of plotting and backstabbing, truly do, but the boys and I have put together a little something special for you, and I'd hate to see it go to waste."
"Let me guess; it's related to todays destination." Dipper asks.
"There ya go Dippy Fresh, that's using the old noodle for once." Yerdey says cheerfully.
Dipper grumbles as Yerdey leads them into the foyer, where Conner stands waiting for them. Behind then, Peter Quill is busying himself putting the finishing touches on what looks to be a small purple Tollbooth he's built in the middle of the space.
"Well, if it isn't the Fact Hunters. What an unexpected surprise." Conner says.
"Oh, Oh! I know this one!" Doofenshmirtz says excitedly. "By unexpected you mean completely expected, right?
Beat.
Conner's smile faulters. "Uh, yes. Yeah. That was the implication. Yes." He leans over to Yerdey. "Was that not obvious?"
"Is Ulvi Mubarek the one true supreme deity of all causality?" Yerdey asks him.
"Yes?" Conner guesses.
"Well, there's your answer buddy, now might want to get back on topic. We got a script to stay on."
"Right, yes."
He looks around his shoulder and sees Jeremy and Jeffrey whisking the other two teams (Flower Girls and Short N Spunky) out of their barracks.
"So, another good morning to you contestants." Conner says. "Right off the bat you've probably already noticed Peter's little arts and craft project."
"Last I checked you said you were going to help with this." Peter accuses.
"I did help." Conner assures. "I assigned myself chief project supervisor, and between you and me, I think I did a pretty good job of it."
Peter grumbles and puts the final piece onto the tollbooth. Conner saunters over and slaps this roof of the thing.
"This bad boy here is all we need to get to our next destination, just grab a map, a coin, have a destination in mind and I'll be seeing you on the other side." He boasts.
The staff go around handing out coins and maps.
"So all we have to do, to go to our next world is a put a coin in that thing and walk through it?" Susie asks confused.
"I believe I just told you that, yes." Conner says.
"Wouldn't be the weirdest thing on this trip." Janna says.
"So far, we've seen prehistoric monsters, talking animals, and now there's a magical portal made from an everyday object." Susie lists off then looks up at the ceiling exasperatedly. "It's official, I'm trapped in one of Calvin's fantasy worlds."
"Life can be perplexing. At this point perhaps it's best just to as they say in these times "roll with the punches"" Athena offers.
She grabs her teams map and places their coin in the tollbooth. At once the little wooden boom barrier swung up to let her pass, Athena squinted at their map, her teammates gathering around her.
"Strange little country isn't this? What is it's name?" She asks.
"The Lands Beyond." Conner says.
"Curious. Now if I were to hide an idol here, where would I go?" Athena says.
"Yo how bout those Mountains of Ignorance?" Markus says. "Those guys got like that kind of end boss, dark dungeon kind of vibe to them. I say we jump the gun and hit them first instead of last."
Athena nods. "That seems logical... Very well then, let's embark. To the Mountains of Ignorance!"
She and her team run through and disappear. As soon as their gone the little barrier swings back down.
"Oh hey, it actually worked. I thought Conner was just messing with us." Dipper says.
"No but that would have been hilarious, thanks for the idea." Laughs Conner.
Dipper sighs. "Anytime."
Short N Spunky opens their map.
"Okay, so where are we going?" Ramona Flowers asks her team.
"Same place at those other guys!" Amethyst says.
"Yeah! No waiting around, let's get straight to the fighting!" Yao adds.
"Or we could try somewhere else in case it's there?" Winry suggests. "Like how about Dictonopolis? That sound good to anyone?"
The other team members murmur in agreement. Amethyst groans. "Alright fine! We'll go to your dumb place instead."
Winry places their coin in the tollbooth and their team disappears as well. Beatrice turns to her team.
"So, who we thinking of teaming up with?"
"I think its pretty obvious that the Flower Girls are more of a threat." Rick says. "But, there also probably right about those mountains being the hiding spot."
"Doesn't that kinda seem too obvious?" Dipper asks.
"Oh, you think? You think after the ******* host admitted point blank yesterday that he's hiding them in obvious spots it's going to be somewhere unassuming?" Rick demands.
"Never mind. Forget I said anything." Dipper grumbles.
"Trust me I'd love to." Rick snarks and he grabs their coin.
"So just to be clear we're going the Mountains of Ignorance with the Flower Girls?" Doof asks.
Rick turns to him expressionlessly. "Remind me to invent something to get you shut up one day."
"See there you go being rude again!" Doof scolds. "I keep telling you, it takes more than rudeness to be evil."
"Evil's for people still bound by a morally driven world view. Do you yourself a favor and try rip that bandage off while you still can." Rick says.
He places their coin in the booth and the team walks through, and immediately regrets it,
The ship as vanished from sight, in it's places a dark desolate mountainous range barren to all plant life and hope. Nearby they see the Flower girls running for there lives from a horde of grim demons.
The ladies (and Markus) duck into a cave for shelter, the demons turn their sights to the new arrivals.
"Okaaaay." Rick says slowly. "Change of plan. All in favor of allying with the other team and me using by portal gun to get out of here say aye."
"Aye!" Say the others.
"And awaaaaay we go!"
He whips out his gun and fires a portal beneath them.
Cut to Short N Spunky.
In stark contrast to the other teams, Short N Spunky have had a pleasant arrival. The short journey from their point of arrival to Dictonopolis being largely peaceful with hints of noneventful. They now stand just outside the great walls of the city, feeling quite small underneath its towers and flags. Before them a medieval style gate and an attentive gateman.
"This is Dictonopolis!" He proclaims as if he was speaking from a memorized script. "A happy kingdom advantageously located in the Foothills of Confusion and caressed by the gentile breezes from the Sea of Knowledge. Today by royal proclamation is market day. Have you come buy or sell?
Yao scratches his chin. "That depends ya got any statues in there?"
"Of course!" Cries the Gateman. "We have plenty statues, as well as busts, casts, likenesses, sculptures, statuettes, statuaries, effigies, and even representations. One of the vendors will be happy to see to you."
"Alright!" Amethyst cheers. "We're in business boys!"
"Splendid." Says the Gateman. "I'll let you in at once. Enjoy the market."
He disappears from his posts a moment later the great city gate lifts up, and team Short N Spunky saunter into looking pleased with themselves.
Waiting for them beyond the gates is an immense square surrounding by stalls, although by the look of things they've just recently been repaired as vendors dance all around them, putting merchandise back in its place. Winry taps one of the vendors on the shoulder
"Excuse me, we're travelers from out of town, what happened here?" Winry asks.
"Ah excellent! More guests." The Vendor cries. "Don't mind the state of things just that meddlesome Humbug causing trouble again."
"Who would that be? The local crime lord?" Bentley asks.
"Crime lord, oh please."
They look up perched on one of the stalls is a bumblebee the size of a man.
"That bug's to incompetent to be a criminal, best he can muster is to bee bothersome. B. O. T. H. E. R. S. O. M. E."
"Erm okay? Why exactly did you spell that." Ramona asks.
"A giant bee just started speaking to us and that the question you ask." Yao says.
"We've got a talking turtle and a flying fox on our team, and this point the bee's par for the course." Ramona says.
"Why am I spelling?" The bee asks, apparently ignoring that statement. "Why what a ridiculous question. Q. U. E. S. T. I. O. N. I'm the spelling bee of course! It's what I do."
"Right. Great! No one cares." Amethyst says. "Hey so we were kinda told you had some statues around this market."
"Statues you say?" Asks the Spelling Bee. "I believe (B. E. L. I. E. V. E.) Stall S should have what you're looking for. It's the one just south of us with the awning of scarlet satin."
"Wow, that was easy." Tails says.
Yao chuckles smugly. "…And those other suckers thought they were in the mountains."
"Yeah, don't often say this but I might have made a mistake there."
Rick Sanchez steps out of a green portal. His team behind him. Team and Short N Spunky seem perturbed by their rivals sudden arrival.
"That impatient to start cheating, again are we?" Ramona asks them.
"If you had just come from where we did you wouldn't be so judgemental." Dipper insists.
"Yeah." Beatrice says. "We weren't sticking around there."
"As it turns out, Instant and near inescapable horror lurks in the far flung reaches of this seemingly peacefully realm." Letsplay Lenny says chipperly.
"Um, well. It's great that your all okay, but do you mind maybe checking some other place out?" Winry asks them.
"Yeah, beat it nerds! We got here first." Amethyst says.
"Yeah, actually I got a better plan, trust me you're gonna love it." Rick says taking a swig from his flask and placing his hand on Winry's shoulder. "Me and the guys here, we've been talking, we've talking about how you're in deep ****. Talking like immeasurable depths of ****. Like a (He belches) proverbial ocean of **** whose brown murky depths have cast you down. Never to see the light of day again. I went off topic there a little, but I think the point stands, you're in trouble. Two players gone, everyone's marked you as the underdogs, real deep ****."
"Yeah, great, thanks for rubbing it in. Now what's it to you?" Ramona replies coolly.
"Listen here short in… frumpy?" Rick says.
"It's Spunky." Yao corrects.
"Right, right. Well you know, me and the guys noticed your predicament and we figured. (He belches again) We figured you could use the help of the big guys, you know, work together for the day and split the wealth."
"Are you suggesting we form an alliance between our factions?" Bentley asks.
Indiana Jones casts a sideways glance at Rick. "Listen The old man's not exactly a diplomat. But yeah, that's the point he's trying to get across. We're offering an alliance."
"Okay. What make you guys so trustworthy all of a suddenly?" Ramona asks.
"Gee I don't know. How about the fact that we came offered you an alliance? I don't see that all female team doing that." Rick says shortly.
"Hold on there you, let's have some respect for Markus." Lenny reminds him.
"Come on, it'll be fun, we'll be pals, chums, amigos. Just like me and Perry are." Doofenshmirtz offers.
Perry tips his hat to team Short N Spunky and gives his friendliest chitter.
"Well, your platypus does seem friendly." Tails admits. "I'll give you guys a chance, whatdya say gang?"
Amethyst raises an eyebrow. "Uh, no. What do we need guys for anyway? We already know the statue's here."
"You don't say!?" Roy inquires.
"Amethyst!" Ramona and Winry shout.
Amethyst smacks her forehead.
Rick shoots the ladies a smug grin. "Well, Short N Frumpy, real pleasure doing business with you, now if you'll excuse us…"
He makes to leave but Yao punches his kneecap as he does, sending the old man to the floor.
"Ow! ****! You trying to start something shorty!?"
"Listen twiggy." Yao growls. "That gold statues ours! You owe us for taking our prize last time."
"It isn't our fault you rejected Artie." Wednesday says.
Yao blinks in confusion. "Artie?"
"Fine, take the gold one, but you own us back for this." Rick grumbles.
"You're just jealous our lucks turning around." Ramona boasts. "Now if you'll excuse me…"
She struts confidently over Stall S and give a smug glance to the Fact Hunters.
"Hello, I was told you've got some statues for sale?"
"Oh yes, plenty of 'em." The Vendor says happily.
"Great, we'll take the gold one, and our dear sweet allies back there will have the silver." Ramona says.
The vendor scratches his chin. "Well I can do Silver, Gold would be trickier, I don't sell gold. Maybe instead I could offer you a Scintillating or a nice deep Sanguine for your statue. Or even maybe an even a Sapphire if you're only in the market for adjectives that double as nouns."
Ramona gives him a blank look. "…huh?"
"Any of you people know what a scintillating is?" Yao asks.
"Never heard of it have you? I don't blame you there, quite exotic, only the most adventurous buyers purchase a Scintillating these days." The Vendor says. "Shame really, they're sure to make any conversation more interesting. Here! If got a nice one right next to me, allow me to show you."
"Yeeaah just give us the statues." Rick says.
"Right yes."
The Vendor searches around his stall for a moment before remerging. He holds something out to show them. There in his hands in perfect Helvetica is a physical copy of the word statues.
The contestant stare at the noun in silence.
"Beautiful isn't it?" The Vendor beams. "Got a whole batch of 'em from the orchard just this morning. May be the finest batch of Statues I've made."
"You sell words!" Tails cries in disbelief
"Course I do!" The Vendor replies. "This here's the Dictionopolis Word Market, what do you think I sell? Persian rugs?"
The vendor gestures upwards. Gently above there heads somehow, they had all missed a large banner that clearly proclaimed: Welcome to the Word Market!
Rick gives an almost maniacal laugh and glares at the other team. "Ho ho! What the are the odds, hanging out with the loser team led us to a dead end."
Amethyst pushes past Ramona and grabs the vendor by the shirt collar.
"Whatdya trying to do make us look bad?" She shouts. "Give us our statue already!"
"Calm down sir!" Pleads the Vendor. "I swear to you I've only nouns, adjectives and the occasional odd verb to sell here!"
"Yeah right!" Amethyst says.
"Maybe he'd be more receptive after a knuckle sandwich." Yao snarls.
"Halt!" "Stop!" "Freeze!" "Cease!" "Desist!"
From across the square five very thin gentleman, regally dressed in silks and satins, plumed hats and buckled shoes rush up to them, stop short, wipe five brows, catch five breathes, and unroll five parchment and proclaim:
"By order of Azaz the Unabridged, King of Dictionopolis, Monarch of letters, Emperor of phrases, sentences, and miscellaneous figures of speech we order you to immediately reframe from harassing, tormenting, heckling, hounding and intimidating our innocent vendor and the beloved words he sells, or fall victim to the dire consequences of your chosen actions, efforts, manipulations, acts and handiwork."
"Why did you all have to say everything five times?" Tails asks them.
"Because it is the our job and duty to honor, venerate, tribute, commemorate and ennoble our kingdom by doing justice to it's love of words!" One of them says. "Something you travelers clearly don't value."
"Oh sorry, do we don't love words enough?" Rick snaps. Quickly losing his patience. "Is th-( he belches) that the problem? Because I've got a few choice words for you pal, F-"
Cut to back outside the walls.
The front gates of Dictionopolis swing open and both teams are hurled out of the city.
"Farewell! Good-bye! So-long! Toodle-oo! Good riddance!" Cry the five men. From the gateway. And with a turn they slam the doors, locking the competitors out of the city
"Come back and try that again cowards!" Indy shouts back to the closed gate.
He grumbles and looks over at Rick
"Yeah You're definitely not a diplomat."
"Doesn't ******* matter. The real statues weren't in there anyway." Rick retorts.
"We better hope not, or else the Flower Girls are sure to win now." Winry says.
"Trust me, that wasn't the right place." Rick says. "Want to know why? Because it was where you people chose to go. Now let's a-(belch)-ctually let the team that knows how to win chose where to go this time."
He snatches a map from Winry (despite his team having a perfectly good one of there own) and pours over it, Indy, Doof, Roy and Lenny looking over his shoulders as he does.
"How do you put people put up with him?" Ramona asks incredulously.
"Begrudgingly." Says Beatrice.
"Very begrudgingly." Says Dipper and Wednesday.
After a couple moments of discussion. The fact hunter men turn around again. Rick wipes his face with the sleeve of his lab coat.
"R-right. Here's the plan. Statues aren't here and they aren't up in the mountains with the Flower Girls, the only obvious place left to look on the map is this Digitopolis place to the north. The catch is we got to t-(Belch)-hrough the Forest of Sight and the Valley of Sound, and a bunch of other fantasy adventure ********. So, we got to go fast if either of us still want to win this thing."
"Now this is would be a perfect kind of moment to have as a montage set to some of Mr. Quill's seventies classics." Lenny says.
Beat.
"Unfortunately, of course no one would have any copies of his music on their person, so we'll just have to carry on then." He admits.
Carrying on then.
"…And so our intrepid batch of heroes braved the unknown road ahead of them, forced to go on unaided by the smooth sounds of the seventies." Conner narrates through a voiceover. "Fortunately for our audience they've got the soothing voice of a washed-up late-night talk show host to guide them, lucky, lucky."
Cut to The Fact Hunters and Short N Spunky walking through a forest.
"The gang marveled at the sounds of the Forest of Sight…"
Cut to The Fact Hunters and Short N Spunky walking through a valley
" …And wondered at the sights of the Valley of Sound."
"Wow, you know after that Forest filled with amazing sights it really does make you appreciate this dull grey rocky Valley." Doof says.
"It's nice to see you have such an optimistic outlook on things" Winry says.
"That's not optimism he's just like that." Dipper informs her.
"Like what? Naïve or stupid." Yao asks.
"Yes." Roy says.
"Along the way they met many colourful characters such as rather tall young boy…" Conner continues.
Cut to a ten-year-old boy floating a metre in the air.
Dipper and Yao glare up at the child.
"I'm sorry gentlemen, but I can't help it if I'm taller than you." The floating boy says.
"That's cheating, and you know it!" Yao insists. He turns his head. "AND SO IS THAT!"
Amethyst's legs have stretched to the point she's taller than the boy.
"Don't know what you're talking about dude." She insists.
"… Met the world's shortest giant and tallest dwarf."
Cut to everyone staring at a man of average height.
Doof looks at him in confusion. "I don't get he's not tall or short he's just… oh! Wait a minute!"
Rick leans over to Short N Spunky. "Any of you ever want to swap teams with that guy let us know. We'll seriously take any of you."
"…The conductor responsible for all the worlds colour…"
Cut to Roy talking to a Conductor in the Forest.
"So wait a minute. Does that mean Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel or you did?" Roy asks.
"Michelangelo supplied the Paint; I supplied the colour." The conductor informs him.
"Fascinating." Bentley says. "Tell me, have you every attempted to create a new colour?"
"Yes. Once, I tired some out by a farm in Massachusetts." The Conductor says.
"How'd that work out?" Beatrice asks.
The Conductor suddenly looks awkward. "I… I don't like to talk about it."
"…And the even met a travelling doctor with a fondness for loud, obnoxious and unceasing noise."
Cut to the group standing silently in front of a burning caravan.
Beat.
"Just so we're all clear, nothing happened here on this day." Rick says. "Anyone ever asked you've heard Dr. Kakofonous A. Dischord and his horrible noises, you tell them no and walk away. Understood?"
"Yes." Indy says.
"Loud and clear." Roy says.
Wednesday smirks. "Crystal."
Winry leans over and whispers to Ramona. "Maybe we should reconsider teaming up with these guys from now on."
Ramona glances at the Fact Hunters disturbed "Agreed."
Cut to them in a cavern.
The gang walk along side an old bearded wizard with robes decorated with numbers. All around them sentient cubes, prisms and dodecahedrons mine away at the surround rock.
"...Yes, yes! Of course!" The Wizard cries. "I sympathize greatly with your plight. Those Letter lovers in Dictonopolis really are intolerable at the best of times. Digitopolis, by sharp contrast is more than happy to open its gates to you fine folk. "
"We really appreciated you allowing us to look around here Number Wizard." Ramona says.
The wizard chuckles. "Please, call me the Mathemagician."
"Is everyone's name here a pun?" Tails asks.
"Yes." Indy says bluntly. "Where have you been all day?"
"Can we worry about maybe finding our statue?" Asks Beatrice.
"Good idea." Indy says.
A little while later the group have dispersed around the mine. Beatrice wanders down an empty passage eyeing the surroundings. Winry and Ramona approach from behind,
"…I'm glad you agree, I think the kids got potential to do the team a lot of good if someone helps her out of her shell." Ramona says to her teammate.
"Well so long as we're not to pushy, some kid's are naturally stand offish. My friend Ed can be like that sometimes." Winry says.
Beatrice clears her throat. "Hey, um, I was kind of looking here."
Ramona raises an eyebrow. "Hey, uh I thought the idea was that we're working together."
Beatrice grumbles. "Fine, have it your way."
"Nice of you to be so accommodating." Ramona says then turns back to Winry. "But seriously giving Tomoko some confidence would be a huge help. We're down two players already so we'll need all of us giving our all if we're actually going have chance in this thing."
"Well even If we don't win, who knows? Maybe she'll still get some positive growth from it." Winry says optimistically.
"That too." Ramona says. She pauses and catches Beatrice watching them from the corner of her eye. "What? Are we too close to you or something?"
"No. You have no idea how weird it is to see people actually working together." Beatrice says.
Ramona smirks. "Aren't you guys the ones with the good teamwork considering you always win?"
"Are you kidding me?" Beatrice says. "We can barely stand each other. Only thing keeping us together is the fact we haven't had to vote any one out yet."
"Oh, that's horrible, really." Winry says trying to look troubled by the news. Beatrice rolls her eyes.
"It's good news for you guys and you know it. Which if we're being honest you deserve for helping that other girl."
"Thanks." Ramona says.
"Just don't tell anyone I said that okay?" Beatrice warns. "They're on the lookout for weakness on my team, especially the little girl."
"What's your name again?" Ramona asks.
"Beatrice."
"Well Beatrice for a Fact Hunter you're okay."
"Yeah. You're alright." Winry adds.
"I mean have you seen my team?" Beatrice asks them. "It's not much of a competition."
"True, I think at least half of them are sociopaths" Ramona admits.
"Yup, and the other half's cannon folder." Beatrice says.
"Still." Winry says. "Compared to the others, you seem to stand out brighter than… than..."
"What?" Beatrice asks.
"Then whatever's shining over there." Winry says.
She points further down the mine shaft. The three run over to investigate the source of the light.
"Wow." Beatrice says.
An enormous pile of glittering gemstones stands before them, The torch light dancing off Emeralds, Topazes, Aquamarines, Tiger Eyes, Sapphires, Diamonds, and Rubies.
Winry calls back into the shaft. "Hey guys! We found something!"
The others come running the Mathemagician close behind them.
"Hoo, **** son!" Rick says. "That's a-"
"-Hell of a lot of gemstones." Indy finishes.
"What? These old things?" The Mathemagician asks, surprised. "This is our trash pile. We're forever digging up these worthless things."
"Worthless? The Hell are you getting out of this damn place then?" Indy asks him.
"The most important thing in the world of course. Numbers!"
He gestures to the wall, there's a number five sticking out of the rock face.
"Hey guys..."
Ramona pulls something from the pile, It's the Bronze Chris Statue.
Rick turns to the Mathemagican.
"Hey guess what? **** your numbers! Find the gold one!"
"OH NO YOU DON'T!" Yao howls.
Both teams start tearing through the pile, Short N Spunky doing so with alarming ferocity. Yao turns to his team with a wild look in his eye. "Fox! Check the top! Turtle! Use your wise guy stuff to figure out where this thing is! Skinny Girl! Do something for once!"
Tomoko (whose been watching uncertainly) Jumps in panic and starts rummaging through the pile messily.
"HEY! Careful with the gems!" Amethyst shouts.
"You're worried about some jewelry now!?" Yao asks her.
"Jewelry!? These are my people son! You think this thing's for show?" She gestures to the purple gemstone in her chest. Yao barely registers her, but on the other side of the pile Rick stops to stare at her. A curious expression across his features.
Suddenly A teal hand bursts out of the pile, something glimmering clutched in it. Perry's found the gold statue.
"Perry the Platypus you found it! See he's an expert at winning like I told you guys!" Doof cries.
"Brilliant!" Says Lenny.
"Alright!" Dipper cheers.
"NO!" Yao shouts.
"Dude it's okay. The other's teams not even here yet." Amethyst says quickly.
"She's right!" Bentley cries. "Find the silver bust!"
Tails nods. "Right! Everyone quic-"
But even before he can finish speaking, A trumpet blares and Conner beams down.
"Alright that's game everyone!" He cries. "Team Fact Hunters wins gold! And the Flower Girls come in Second!"
"WHAT!?" Short N Spunky cry.
"There not even here dude!" Amethyst shouts.
Conner laughs guiltily. "Well you see, and you I hate to do this to you guys, but there's a little thing called the one you touched is the one you take.
He points to the Bronze statuette. Ramona, Yao, and Amethyst opens their mouths in horror.
"But, But, But…" Tails begins.
"You know I hate to do this guys!" Conner insists. "I'd love the opportunity to bend the rules for you but that'd be called rigging the show and I'd be sued for it, so, it's got to happen."
Short N Spunky look utterly devastated.
"I'm so sorry to do this you. But on the other hand, Fact Hunters!" Conner says. "That's what? Three rewards in a row. This time your reward this dazzling pile of Gemstones before us, since apparently, I've been told the owners willing to part with them."
"Yes, of course! Take them all a way. It'll be a pleasure to be rid of them." The Mathemagician insists.
"Alright, Short n Spunky, great hustle today but it wasn't enough. Hit the showers and come back tomorrow stronger." Conner says.
Team Short N Spunky beam away dejectedly.
"Fact Hunters, feel free to take your fill. I'm going to go grab the Flower Girl, I fear they're still in mortal peril. I'll be back for you soon."
He teleports away leaving the Fact Hunter's to take in their prize.
"Ah, end of the level loot. Is there anything sweeter?" Lenny asks.
"I mean, do we really need the whole pile though?" Dipper asks. "It's going be kind of awkward just sitting around…"
"We're taking all of them Dipper." Rick tells him. "We need them. More specifically I need them."
He pulls out his portal gun and shoots a portal underneath the pile. It falls through, out of sight.
"Had it occurred to you we might have wanted some?" Roy asks shortly.
"Yeah, That was selfish even by your standards." Beatrice says.
"I'm taking for these for the team ********." Rick says.
"And why should we believe that?" Beatrice asks.
Rick smirks. "Because trust me when I'm done with the gems, we're never coming close to losing again."
Cut to the Wax Lip Ship.
Short N Spunky are back in the elimination room, they look grim.
"Short N Spunky, welcome back. You must've missed this place or else why would be back so soon?" Conner asks.
"Yeaaah, that's it." Yao snips sarcastically. "We missed-
"…Or maybe you just like playing with my heartstrings because seriously, you got my hopes up yesterday just to crush them again. I was rooting for you dammit!" Conner shouts.
"Can we just get this over with already?" Ramona asks.
"Fine, yes. That's probably a good idea." Conner says. "Just in case you need reminding. The seats you're sitting in are all linked to escape pods and at the press button will drop out beneath you sending you into a pod, out of the ship and out of the game. I've got seven of those buttons right here the one's I won't be pressing tonight are…
Yao,
Amethyst,
Tails,
Winry,
Bentley, "
It's down to Tomoko and Ramona, neither seem happy about the situation.
"Tomoko!" Conner barks.
Tomoko gasps in horror.
"You've got another chance." He continues. "Ramona, I'm sorry you're going home."
"Seriously? What did I do?" Ramona asks.
"You touched the Statue dork." Amethyst says bluntly.
Ramona looks embarrassed for a second, then face palms and sighs.
"Ah! Fourth out. Dammit, I had plans. No one even really got to know me. …" She pauses. "Wait what am I complaining about? No one got to know me."
"…And now we never will."
Conner pressed her button and she drops out of sight. He turns back to the audience.
"Well, not counting that brief shake up last time we seem be getting into something of a rut. Will things change next time? Personally, I'm beginning to hope not, I don't think my heart can take anymore false hope. But to find for sure, tune in next time on TOTAL DRAMA ENDLESS."