Total Drama Endless, Episode Eight
...
Conner O'Gleeson smiles at us from behind his desk.
"Welcome Back!" He says, warmly. "Glad to you made it." He picks up his notes from the desk.
"Last time on Total Drama Endless, I set off from Los Angeles on my sexy starship, six crew and twenty-seven contestants in tow. My mission? Well it's pretty simple, create the wildest season of Total Drama yet. No Camp, no Chris, and no confessionals. Just my colourful cast and everything the multiverse can throw at them.
Right off of bat I separated everyone into three teams of nine, one of which still has all it's competitors; The Fact Hunters, cruelest, and most skilled of the bunch. They've been ruled by the whim of one Rick Sanchez, The impulsive genius. His at times illegal plays have help keep everyone on the team, but time will tell if the others think it's worth putting up with his ego.
In second place, there's the Lovable Flower Girls. Six perfectly pleasant ladies and their good friend Marked Improvement. So far in the game they've been the most democratic team, having their important decisions made by a mix of Master Tigress, Janna, and Athena. However those first two are long gone. Leaving Athena the sole voice of leadership.
Finally we have Short N Spunky, where Amethyst has just used a staggering string of loses to her favour. Eliminating all dissenting voice in the team outside her own alliance. The only holdout of the old regime being one, Tomoko Kuroki. Who after opening up to Beatrice from the Fact Hunters is trying to overcome her social anxiety and endear herself to her team.
The gameplay has been rigid but the locals have been anything but. We've seen worlds ranging from seventies sci fic horror to classic children's literature, but none have been impactful as our last two. The child like madness that is NickEarth, and liminal space gauntlet of the Rodney House."
He sighs and shakes his head.
"We ended up hosted a party of locals on the ship here which was… What's a professional word? Taxing on my psyche, let's say. Not helping was a certain encounter with a certain scoundrel we've all agreed not to talk about. Turns out we're not the only transdimensional season out there, but that's a story for someone else. After a few straight days of cutting a rug NickEarth style, I was hit with a bad hangover. Which…" He chuckles. "Is where we begin our story today."
"Jeffrey, tell me something."
"Tell you what Peter?"
"You've been working with Conner for a long time, right?"
"I've been an active part of his production since the mid two thousand's."
"Alright… Cool. So, uh tell me then. This kinda of behavior normal at all?"
It's the morning after the Rodney house challenge. Peter Quill and Jeffrey Sawicki are standing on the bridge of the good ship Wax Lip. Both of them stare at their boss, one Conner Christopher O'Gleeson, Captain of their starship, Self proclaimed "God of late-night television", Host of the most recent season of the hit reality show Total Drama, and currently in a catatonic state.
Conner's staring straight off into the middle distance. Apparently still recovering from the wild partying the night before. His eye's are glazed over, and he holds a glass of water in one hand, a bottle of baby aspirin in the other. The other two men watch him.
"The specific action is unfamiliar; the general behavior is not." Jeffrey informs Peter dully.
"I see. So…. Should I…poke him with something or… what? What do I do to get him to respond?" Peter asks.
"A simple verbal command should be enough." Jeffrey says.
"Alright." Peter says. "Yo Conner!"
Conner doesn't respond.
"Conner! Come on! Everyone's been waiting long enough. We've got a show to do."
Conner grunts non-committedly. Peter groans.
"I'll be right back." He grumbles to Jeffrey and walks out of the room. A second later he returns, the great hulking Wookie, Chewbacca behind him.
"Anytime you're ready big guy." Peter commands.
Chewbacca nods then leans in and roars directly behind Conner's head. Conner yelps and leaps out of his chair as if it were aflame.
"ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! I'M UP." He shouts then winces and rubes his forehead. "Lord. Why'd I'd ever think it was a good idea to take us to NickEarth?"
"Are you in a condition to work?" Jeffrey asks. "We have an episode scheduled for today- "
"I know we have an episode today Jeffrey!" Conner says shortly. "Just give me a little quiet time and then I'll figure something out."
The other two glance at each other then walk out of the room. Conner watches them go then settles back into his chair wearily.
Cut to the elimination room.
An hour later Conner's managed to pull himself onto to his feet, however shakily, and face the contestants. They watch him expectantly.
"Well good morning everyone." Conner says.
"Good Morning!" Fluttershy and Peach chirp.
"What's tight?" Asks Markus.
"Yo what's up?!" Shouts Amethyst. Conner winces. Rick Sanchez smirks at him.
"Work too hard last night Conner?" He asks.
"Yeah. I got caught up in this gambling ring and ended up hosting half of NickEarth in my starship." He says irritably. "Funny thing is I swore I had some contestants agree to help out but they mysteriously exited the picture the moment there was any real work to do."
"Listen pal." Rick belches. "I signed up to make fun of your stupid little show, not work on it." He takes a swing from his flask indifferently. Conner give him a look.
"Yeah? Anyway, on a related note, great news everyone! Because I'm tired out from the yesterday's gambling incident, the one that Rick originally started might I add, I had to reschedule some things around last minute location wise. So, you'll all just have to visit Hogwarts another time."
There's a loud chorus of displeasure from everyone in the room versed enough in modern pop-culture to be familiar with the name Harry Potter. Most of them directed at Rick. The smirk slips off his face.
"Anyway!" Conner calls over the constants. "So instead of that today we're going to Mobius. As in not some weird 2000s mashup world but the Mobius. The canon one."
"Which canon?"
"Shut up Lenny!" Barks Conner. "So, this was originally going to be somewhere we were going to later, thought process was we'd spread this and NickEarth apart to not come off as redundant. But after last challenge I decided it'd be better to just get it out of the way. Because honestly once we're done here, I never want to see another Mobian again. … No offense Tails."
"Hey none taken." Says Tails. The fox looks high spirited. "I'm just excited I'm going to get to show everyone my home. Hey!" He turns to his team. "This is so cool! I can introduce you guys to Sonic!"
"So everyone's just going to ignore Short and Frumpy have a massive advantage this location?" Interjects Rick.
"Yes, what I shame it would be for a struggling team to get off easy for once." Conner retorts "This is my show. You said it yourself you're not here to work on it. Now everyone get in the transporter. I need to get you guys set up quickly so I can spend the rest of the day chugging Tylenol in the captain's quarters."
Rick glares at Conner but does at he's told, getting in the transporter bay with the others.
"Bring us down Jeremy!" Conner commands more forcefully than he normally would.
Jeremy gurgles and presses a button. A moment later Conner and the twenty contestants are standing amongst emerald green hills under an azure sky. Tails breathes in the air appreciatively.
"Oh Wow, it's so good to be home!"
He zips up into the air and starts looking around.
"Hey nice good landing spot Conner! I see the Great Forest from here. And Station Square would be way over there and…"
Tails let's out a yelp and zooms over to hide behind his team.
"What's up dude?" Amethyst asks.
Tails stutters uncontrollably. Next to him Markus's eye's narrow. "Yo what's that over there?"
The group wanders over to where he's pointing. There just over a ridge about a kilometre from them the green hills stop suddenly. In there place the earth has been blighted, the area has been cleared of all vegetation and the air choked in smoke. In the centre of this horrid scene is a massive metal fortress in the shape of an egg, surround by high walls and a sinister industrial park. Conner squints at the base disinterestedly.
"Oh. Yeah. That's Dr Eggman's base. Evilest guy on Mobius for those unaware. Anyway, the Chris statues are in his base. Go get them."
"What!?" Cries Tails horrified.
"Yeah today's basically one big game of capture the flag. See those squares over there." Conner directs their attention to three roped off areas in front of them. One for each team. "You have five minutes prep time to talk strategy before you rush in there. No one leaves their squares until those fives minutes are up. Other than that, you can get into the base however you want so long as it doesn't go against any previously establish rules. And uh… oh yeah, watch out for robots. Alright everyone got all that?"
"But Conner, that's really danger-" Begins Tails
"Alright good, no questions!" Conner declares, cutting Tails off. "Well that's wonderful. In that case I'll leave you to it. Chewie will be down in a sec to supervise, bye now, see you tonight! BEAM ME UP JEREMY!"
And almost at once Conner disappears leaving the contestants to contemplate their sudden and daunting state of affairs. Tails in particularly looks mortified. Amethyst laughs.
"So, how is it being back home? Everything you hoped for?"
Tails gulps.
"Oh man… Sounds like we're really gonna need Sonic's help for this one." He brightens back up a little. "He's probably in Knothole with the other Freedom Fighters. I can't wait for you guys to meet them!"
The teams slowly march towards their squares and get into position. Over with the Flower Girls, Lapis turns to Athena.
"Alright leader. What's our plan?"
Earlier that morning the Flower Girls had been subject to a rosing speech by Athena on the leadership of their team. Ever since the game had started Janna Ordonia had been something of their de facto team leader, much like Rick was for the Fact Hunters and Amethyst was with Short N Spunky. However now that Janna had been eliminated there was something of a power vacuum amongst the Flowers Girl. One that Athena nominated herself to fill.
The others had agreed without hesitation. None of them had the ego to assume themselves wiser than the goddess of wisdom. Even Lapis whose culture lacked deities had grown to respect Athena's authority in the time she had known her.
"Listen all of you." Athena commands. "Whether our host treats this as a game or not the fact is, we are about to go into battle with an unknown enemy. Therefore, if victory is to be assured you are all to be on your most discipline behavior."
"Aight, whatever keeps us from losing or dying." Markus says.
Athena gesture to Fluttershy and Lapis. "You two. Soon as we're clear to attack I want wings in the air, surveying the fortress. Lapis you're to observe the defenses up close see what we're up against. Fluttershy I recognize you aren't as strong willed as Lapis so I'll have you observe the far side on the compound from a safe distance. I want you checking for an Achilles Heel. Some neglected kink in armor we could slip into like Odysseus and his men entered Troy."
Fluttershy smiles nervously. "I guess I could do something like that."
"Good. As for Yae and Markus, you're both to stuck by my side. We're to find a defensible patch of ground and hold it in the case of an enemy offensive or until one of our ariel scouts returns."
"Tight" Markus says.
Yae cracks her knuckles and nods.
"Very good." Athena says, looking pleased with them. "Then we're all accounted for-"
Peach clears her throat. Athena turns to her.
"Sorry for the interruption." Apologies the Princess. "But I think you've forgotten me."
"I haven't." Athena assures her. "You had a challenging day for a mortal yesterday. I want you to rest today so you'll be ready for tomorrows challenge."
"Oh, but please. I'm plenty rested now and besides..." Peach eyes shine with determination. "I had a lot of time to myself to think yesterday and I want to do more for our team."
Athena raises an eyebrow. "Even If that means doing things you don't agree with?"
"Of course!" Peach says earnestly. Athena gives her an approving smile.
"Very well. In that case you are stay close to us and keep watch for Fluttershy's return."
Peach nods.
Two squares away with the Fact Hunters, Indiana Jones surveys the fortress before them skeptically.
"Well? What do you make of it?"
Wednesday Addams has strolled up to him with a dull yet expectant look over her features.
"Too many unknowns." Indy mutters, not taking his eyes off their goal. "I've broken into enough places to know going blind's a bad idea."
"Great." Roy R Brown walks over to them. "But how's about we focus on what we can do instead of what we can't eh professor?"
"If we what to do this the smart way, then soon as we're cleared to go instead of taking this thing head on, we'll keep quiet and find a backdoor. Ideally no one else should know where we are until we've got our idol." Indy says.
Wednesday nods approvingly. "Not bad. We'll all still die, but it's a start."
Indy chuckles contemptuously. "You got a better plan kid?"
"The actual smart thing would be to wait for the other teams to assault the fortress then act while our defender is distracted." Wednesday says.
Roy strokes his chin. "Hell, if those other idiots actually manage to put a hole in that wall, we should overpower them and use their handiwork ourselves."
"Exactly." Wednesday says. "What the point in spilling our blood when the others are perfectly willing to give theirs?"
Indy turns to her and grins. "Not bad kid."
Wednesday smirks at him as Indy turns to the other. "Everyone good with that plan?"
Dipper shrugs. "Whatever plan has the lowest possible chance of death works for me."
"Yeah, I'm a fan of not dying." Beatrice adds. Doofenshmirtz and Lenny mummer in agreed. Indy looks to Rick.
"Well Doc?"
Rick, who has been uncharacteristically quiet this whole time pulls out his flask and takes a long-drawn-out swig.
"Great plan Jones." He says screwing the lid back on his flask. "Just one little thing's bugging about it."
"What?" Indy asks.
"This challenge is ********. Conner didn't try to make it fair so neither are we." He takes out his portal gun and fires it. A portal appears before him. "Come on, In the portal. Let's make this quick."
The Fact Hunter stay where they are Rick frowns. "What are you people deaf? Let's go."
"Aren't you not supposed to use that thing anymore?" Beatrice says.
"Oh you mean how I wasn't supposed to use it traveling around with Shadow?" Rick asks sarcastically. "Or-or how about when I got us out of trouble in the Mountains of Ignorance? I may be an old ass man but my memory seems to be you not being a ***** back then."
"Today's different. We've got a plan that doesn't need your gun." Indy insists.
"Look I was trying to go easy on you, but I'll just go ahead and say it. You're plan sucks."
"Why? Because you didn't think of it?"
"Basically."
Indy glares at him. "Ignore him." Wednesday says. "He's just upset because our host insulted his honour."
"I'm not ******* angry about that!" Rick snaps. "Now get in the portal so we can ruin Conner's stupid ******* challenge already."
"Yeah guys come on." Doofenshmirtz says a little more diplomatically. "Let's go with Rick's plan yes? He's a fellow evil scientist. We can trust him."
"Forget it Doc." Indy says firmly. "The rest of the team already decided. You two are in the minority."
The others nod. Rick glares at them all.
A noise behind them captures their attention. Chewbacca's beamed down from the ship. The furry creature let outs a mighty roar. Then when no one moves he looks at them expectantly. Yerdey beams down next to Chewie.
"That means go guys. Let the invasion commence!"
"Yo our bad brah!" Markus calls.
Yerdey sighs. "Mammals." He nudges Chewbacca, the creature roars again, and the teams are off.
At once all twenty competitors fanning out from their starting squares, The Flower Girls charge out down the hill while Lapis and Fluttershy lift up into to the air towards the fortress before them. Tails does the same but flies off in the opposite direction, sheepherding his team towards a great oaky forest on the other side of the hills. Rick meanwhile pulls away from the Fact Hunters.
"Wait Rick!" Cries Doofenshmirtz. "Where are you going?"
"Winning this piece of ****!" He calls back. "Come on Doctor D!"
"Wait? You're abandoning our team to cheat? Oh, that's great! This is much better evil scientist behavior than all that rudeness." Doof says cheerfully.
Rick draws his portal gun again and shoots out a portal. He and Doofenshmirtz hop through it and disappear.
"Rick wait!" Dipper shouts.
"Forget them." Indy hisses.
"They're going to get us in trouble!"
"Let them. Worst thing that happens is we vote Rick out. What's more important for us instead of worrying about them is sticking together. Including you shorty." Indy's just grabbed Perry by the collar. The Platypus having made a dash towards the fortress. Perry chitters agitatedly.
"Save the complaining for later." Indy tells him. "Now come on! I thought we agreed we're doing this stealthily? Let's get to shelter."
The Flowers meanwhile have made it to the metal wall of the fortress. Lapis swoops down and perches on top of it.
"What do you make of it?" Athena calls to her.
Even from a distance then can see Lapis make an apprehensive face. "You guys aren't gonna like this but-"
"WHO DARES DISTURB MY SOLITUDE!?"
A harsh thunderous voice comes booming out of the compound.
"We are but innocent travellers seeking what belong to us!" Athena shouts. "Give us our statue and we may part ways peacefully."
"THEIVES ARE YOU!?" The voice roars. "THEN YOU ARE THE ARCHITECTS OF YOUR OWN DECIMATION! BADNIK ARMY! ATTACK!"
Hatches open in the walls above them, and out pours a torrent of robots, some humanoid, other insectoid and all decidedly hostile.
Markus takes a look at the approaching conflict and turns to Athena. "Ay yo I'm just gonna assume the next order is book it dawg." And he immediately starts spiriting back up towards the hill.
"Hold your ground solider" Athena commands.
Markus stops reluctantly. "Yo I'll try be this fight or flight instinct's hard to ignore my ******."
"Then cast your mortal fears aside." She says. "You're in the company of an Olympian. Pray to me and I shall cast fire into your spirits."
"You sure abou-"
The first robot lunges down at them at Athena impales it with her spear effortless then uses its lifeless body to destroy at second and third.
"Okay! Yo!" Markus says taken about. "Uh I don't how to pray Ancient Greek style but uh… Can you help a ****** out?"
The first wave of machines was now upon them. A wasp like creature bolts at Peach, and the princess cries in terror. Seeing this Yae casts aside her blue school blazer and with surprising strength manages to grab the machine out of the air and squeeze it's head off its shoulder. She drops the thing at stares at her own hands surprised.
"I am not normally that strong." She whispers.
"I should expect not" Athena grunts casting her spear deep within another machine. "For I have granted you strength in body and mind. Now my loyal fallowers, make war with these automatons!"
Markus reaches out and punches the nearest robot. He splitters it's circuits without so much as scratching his hand.
"Yo I could get use to this." He says in awe.
Cut to within the fortress.
Deep at the centre of the compound a single man rages.
He's an older man, bald and disproportionate, his egg like head atop an obese body balanced on two thin legs. This is Dr Eggman, and although his eyes are hidden behind the opaque blue lenses of his goggles, they do nothing to hide his fury.
"What is this deception I see before me!?" He shouts at a robot standing by his side. He jabs a gloved hand at the screen in front of him. He has on a security feed of the perimeter, where the Flower Girls continue to tear through his forces. "These humans are as strong as Mobians! It cannot be natural! Clearly someone has leaked one of my glorious scientific discoveries to the United Federation!"
"Why would anyone do that boss?" His henchman asks nervously. Eggman turns in his chair and bashes the machine between the eyes.
"USE YOUR IMAGINATION YOU USELESS PILE OF SCRAP!"
He goes on with his assault, now fully committed to taking out is rage on the innocent android. In fact, he's so invested in his tantrum he doesn't notice a flash of green light from the hallway. Nor does he look up when the two scientists poke their heads through the door way.
"Christ get a look at this guy." Rick mutters under his breath.
Doofenshmirtz nods. "Oh yes. The always angry evil scientist. You see a lot of them at conventions. You know nothing against the lifestyle per say, it's just kind of a rookie move if you catch my drift."
Rick chuckles mirthlessly. "Tell me about. I seriously can't believe Conner wanted to frame an episode around this guy."
"Yeah, that ain't you call."
They spin around. Peter Quill's standing behind them with his blaster drawn and his look sour. Rick curses loudly.
"Seriously!?" He shouts.
"Seriously Rick. Conner warned you about over using the portal gun." Peter says.
"If Conner doesn't want me breaking the rules, he should invent better challenges!" Rick snaps.
"Sorry but no fallowing rules, no reward. Now both of you come with me quietly. You just earned a six-hour penalty back in the ship."
"Ah-Yeah... Before that one little thing?" Doof says glancing over his should awkwardly.
"What?" Peter demands.
"Sorry I just now noticed this other doctor whose lair we're in disappeared." He says.
Peter gives him confused look. "What do you mean he disappeared?"
The lights flicker out then come back on. When they do, the hallways suddenly filled with hostile robots, as well as none other than Doctor Eggman himself.
"OH there he is! He was laying an ambush for us! How smart of him." Doof says cheerfully.
"Intruders!" Barks Eggman. "You've entered the lair of Doctor Ivo Robotnik, the world's greatest scientist, and soon to be the world's greatest ruler. State your business, then perish!"
Rick pats Doof on the shoulder. "Alright I'll take care of this. Yeah! Hey! Doctor Robotnik is it? Name's Rick Sanchez, smartest mammal in the galaxy, guy over there is Doctor Doofenshmirtz my associate. W-We-We're representing the Interdimensional Council of Scientists. IDCS for short."
"What!?" Peter shouts.
"Quiet you! You'll have to ignore the kid over there. He's a shared nemesis of ours, ran into him in the hallway. I mean you know how it is our field. Always some plucky underdog piece of **** getting in the way of scientific progress. It's an occupational hazard. Doof here's got a platypus he deals with, I'm told you've got like a fox/hedgehog/woodland creature thing. We're a lot alike is the point, we all come from the same page. which is why we're considering letting you join our club. That's our reason for being in this room talking to you right now."
"Yeah right!" Peter yells. "Doc don't listen to them I'm with the guy who-"
"Silence!" Robotnik shouts, then he turns to Rick with a skeptical look.
"Tell me Sanchez? Why your organization feels it bold enough to send representatives to my base unannounced?"
"You dumbass he's lying! There is no organization!"
"I thought the Doctor told you to shut up Quill!" Rick shouts. "Anyway, sorry about the surprise. Me and Doof here got sent over here to scope out your base, you know, make sure you're real IDCS material. We'd didn't think you'd be home but since you're here, got to say. Probably the nicest Industrial compound I've been to on this job eh Doof?"
Doof shrugs. "Yeah. It's alright I guess?" He says honestly.
"You guess!?" Robotnik repeats indignantly. "My fellow scientist I assure you I don't know how things are done in your world. But here I am the greatest mind to ever grace the planet and my facilities are of equal pedigree!"
"Oh It's a well made lair. Don't get me wrong." Doof insists. "It just needs a gimmick or something."
Robotnik smirks. "Well If it's ingenuity your Council is looking for then they've come to the right place. Allow me the give you a tour of some of my brilliant inventions."
"We'd greatly appreciate that." Rick says grinning at Doof. "Here let me just take of my nemesis."
Peter glares at him. "I'd like to see you trEEEEE"
Rick pulls something out of his coat and zaps Peter with it. He convulses for a second before going limp and collapsing to the floor, dropping his Walkman in the process. Rick picks it up and hands it to Robotnik.
"You're gonna want to hold on to that. These music players go for a lot on the interstellar market, even a Zune can get you a fair amount. Now anyways. Probably shouldn't leave this guy lying around here. Hey uh, Robotnik tell you what? How about I stick this guy in your prison or something then catch up with your tour later?"
"Yes of course." Robotnik says. "They're just a dozen floors door, three doors to the left. You can't miss them."
Rick smirks. "Trust me doc. I'll find what I'm looking for."
Cut to Short N Spunky.
Deep within the forest, Tails has led his team to his home, A hidden village amongst the trees called Knothole. The five of them stroll through the town, Tails engaging in a conversation with one of local friends, A chipmunk by the name of Sally.
"I'm sorry Tails." She says. "But you've just missed him. He and some of the other Freedom Fighters left for a mission an hour ago."
"But this is Eggman we're talking about Sally. There's got to be someone around to help." Tails perks up a little. "Is Fiona around?" He asks a little too innocently.
Sally shoots him a disproving look. "I'll see if can contact Sonic. But you know what he's like. If I send him something on his communicator it might take him a little while for him to see it."
"If it's all the same to you my lady, Time is of the essence for us." Bentley says. "We can't afford to wait long."
Amethyst nudges Tomoko in the ribs. "Hey rookie. If you're looking show off to us, now's a good time to do it. Got any ideas?"
"Um… we could summon him maybe?" Tomoko stammers. "Like with a magic word?"
Sally laughs causing Tomoko to blush. "A magic word?" Sally repeats. "Look kid, I've known Sonic for years now. You'd think I'd already know about it if all you had to do to get him to show up was say something like, I don't know chili dog-"
There's a great burst of wind and when it's dissipated, they find a blue hedgehog has materialized in front of them.
"Chilidogwhatnow?" He says quickly.
Sally blinks in surprise. "Well I'll be darned…"
Tails looks elated. "Sonic!" he cries.
Sonic spins around. "Tails!? What are you doing here? I thought you were on that game show?"
"I am." Tails says excitedly. "We're doing a challenge here on Mobius. These are my teammates."
"Good afternoon." Bentley smiles.
"Sup." Amethyst says.
"What are you looking at?" Yao croaks.
Tomoko whimpers.
"Nice to meet you guys." Sonic says. "I'm Sonic, Sonic the Hedgehog."
"We've gathered." Bentley says.
"Oh. Right." Sonic scratches his neck. "So. What brings you guys to Mobius?"
Tails expression darkens. "It's Eggman Sonic. We've got to break into his base and steal something."
Sonic laughs. "That's it? And what? I take it you need help from the expert egg cracker?"
"Yeah. You in, speed guy?" Amethyst asks.
"You kidding? Any chance to mess up Eggface and I'm there." Sonic says smugly. "I feel sorry for the other teams though. Without a someone like me around Doc Eggster and his robots are pretty tough costumers."
Cut to the Flower Girls.
Markus tears a robot in half lengthwise.
"YO!? Any of you other ******* want a piece of ThickDickDaddy27!? I'll **** you up!" A crab like robot takes a swipe at him with is claw. Markus grabs it, and with a swift motion tears it off and impales the machine with it.
He laughs triumphantly as the thing explodes; a boyish grin plastered on his face.
"Yo this is ****** fire dawg! ****! Best workout I've had in a long ass time!"
"Try not to enjoy to much Markus." Athena says gruffly.
The four of them are not surrounded by broken machine parts, yet still new waves of Badnik surges towards them. Athena's eagle like eyes dart around rapidly, calculating the moves of both her enemies and allies.
"Another army will upon soon troops, don't let you're guard waver." She warns. "And Princess, you're straying to far from us, return to my side at once."
"Oh, Okay, yes, sorry." Peach says dashing over to her quickly. "Your magical abilities are very impressive. I'm sure the others are just as amazed by them as I am."
"Yes, thank you Princess." The goddess says distractedly. Her eyes fixed now on Yae and the seven machines surrounding her. "I would have granted them to everyone the last time we came under siege from machines. But alas something about that Rodney's fellows house was affecting my abilities."
Peach looks up at her surprised. "Yes! I found that place weaken my magic too. I even tore my ballgown which shouldn't be possible. Fortunately Janna was kind enough to find me this lovely red cloak an-"
"With all due respect Princess." Athena Interrupts. "I've much rather discuss more important things, like the whereabout of your Pegasus friend?"
"Yes, you're right Fluttershy should have been back by now." Peach says with a frown. "Poor thing. I wonder what's taking her so long?"
Cut to the sky.
Fluttershy as it turned out was almost directly above them. Fluttering quietly above the clouds of Mobius. When her teammates had original drawn Robotnik's fury, a token group of a flying badniks had chased her off. Since then she's been in her holding pattern, trying to muster the courage to return to her mission.
"Come on Fluttershy, you've handled scarier things than a bunch of mean nasty old robots? Remember Triek? Or the time we forgot to feed Angel?"
She shutters then takes a deep breath.
"I can do this." She says firmly.
She swoops back down towards the compound, no sooner than she has a half dozen wasp like badniks swarm her. The little pony shrieks.
"I can't do this!"
She zips around the other side of the fortress's large egg-shaped central tower and plasters herself against the wall. The badniks fly right past her.
She allows herself a quick sigh of relief only to tense back up a second later. Directly to her left an air vent has been blown open.
Curiosity gets the better of her and she pokes her head inside. Although there not any apparent light source the air vent is conveniently bright enough to see in and big enough to crawl through. As air vents typically are in fiction. Sure, enough Fluttershy crawls into it and finds it perfectly navigable.
"This must be one of those secret entrances Athena mentioned." She claps her front hooves happily. "Oh, thank goodness! I'm not going to let all the ladies and Markus down after all!"
Suddenly something crashes into her from behind, she yelps and tumbles further into the vent. Then, a familiar chittering sound draws her attention.
"Perry?" She asks confused.
Perry the Platypus is crouched next to her, looking mildly annoyed.
"Perry! Oh my goodness! Don't frighten me like that!"
Perry chitters.
"That's okay I forgive you." Fluttershy says. "Now what ever are you doing in hiding in here?"
Perry chitters.
"You're on a secret mission your team doesn't know about?"
Perry chitters.
"You're worried about your doctor friend?"
Perry chitters.
"You want me to stop repeating everything you say-oh!" Fluttershy grins apologetically. "My bad."
Perry rolls his eyes then makes to turn and scamper away.
"Oh you going so soon?" Fluttershy says somewhat alarmed. "Well… I guess I should be off to." She makes to fly back out the vent. A group of badniks fly past the opening. Fluttershy squeals, then spins around and bolts after Perry.
"Wait! Take me with you!"
Cut to the hallways
Further into the base. Robotnik and Doofenshmirtz saunter along. Boogie on Reggie Woman by Stevie Wonder blaring from Quill's Walkman.
Robotnik winches. "Isn't there anything you can do to shut that thing off?"
"Aw come on? Who doesn't love the seventies?" Doof says bopping his head to the beat.
Robotnik snorts indignantly. "Regardless, as I was saying, what do you think of my facilities now Doctor Doofenshmirtz?"
"You know I think I'm warming up to it." Doof says. "No, I like this kind of, egg, animal, robot thing you've got around here. It shouldn't all work together. But it does."
Robotnik smiles arrogantly. "Glad you approve. Your council has made a good decision begging for my membership. They may not have known it at the time but their dealing with a genius to surpase all lesser intellects!"
"Glad to here it!"
Robotnik stops in front of a security door and presses a combination into a keypad. "We are now approaching the inner most sanctum of this compound." He says. "The place where I keep my most prized positions. If you are somehow not impressed with me yet you will be soon."
He opens the door to cold scientific lab with metal walls. Prototype robots stand solemnly in display cases.
Doof ohs and ahs. Robotnik beams proudly.
"These are the originally prototypes of every Badnik I've yet created, as well as several that never made it to battlefield."
Doof stops in front of a large display. Inside is a blue metal robot, vaguely in the shape of Sonic. "See now this one looks like it has a lot of potential."
Robotnik smirks. "You have a good eye. That my friend is the first prototype of Metal Sonic. Perhaps my greatest invention since the Roboticization process. He has all the power of that meddlesome Sonic the Hedgehog, yet he obeys me and me alone."
"That's got to be handy."
"You've no idea." Robotnik says. "But of course, this room houses more than simply I prototypes, I also have a vast collection of stolen artifacts from across Mobius and beyond!" He directs Doof to a large, sealed metal door. "As a matter of fact, you've come at an interesting time. Right before your arrival I was gifted three statues from a man who claimed to be a powerful interdimensional visitor!" Behold!"
He presses a button and the container opens revealing a large camber with the three statuettes suspended in an energy field, with Rick standing next to it attempting to use one of his own inventions. He looks up a spots them, and curses.
"WHAT THE!" Robotnik cries. "Guards!"
A horde of badniks materialises behind him. In the chamber itself, turrets appear out of the walls and aim themselves at Rick.
"What is the meaning of this!?" Robotnik demand, glancing between Doofenshmirtz and Rick. "Explain yourselves."
"Now Doctor Egghead we swear it's not what it looks like!" Doof says hastily.
"He's right." Rick adds. "Because I'm not currently trying to steal your ****. Actually, it's much simpler. There's a gas leak and you're hallucinating."
Robotnik scoffs. "Spare me your excuses traitor." Two large robots seize Rick by the arms. "I hope you're happy with yourself. You've not only besmirched the good name of the Interdimensional Council of Scientists. But you've alienated their smartest candidate for membership." He gestures to himself.
Doof and Rick both give him a stunted look. "Okay! First of all…" Rick says tempered rising. "There is no IDCS! We just made that up to steal your ****. Secondly I'm the god damn smartest person here got it!"
Robotnik laughs nastily. "Really? Then why are you my prisoner, instead of I being yours?
"What part of we tricked you don't you get!?" Rick shouts.
"Enough!" Robotnik snaps. "Guards take him to the prison cells! That will teach him to think he can go about snooping as if he owned the place." The robots nod then drag Rick away while the scientist howls insults at Robotnik. They drag him over to a shoot and toss him in.
Rick lands harshly in a dark metal cell, He rubs his neck and curses again.
"Hey Turd Blossom welcome to the party!" Peter Quill's standing over him glaring. "Managing to piss off Egg guy that quickly huh?"
"**** off Quill!" Rick grunts.
"Great comeback."
"I SAID SHUT THE **** UP!" Rick snaps. "Or do not want me to get us out of here?"
Peter mimes zipping his mouth close but continues glaring at him. Rick snarls back then pulls one of his own robot's out of his lab coat.
"What is my purpose?" It asks him.
"Cut a hole in this cell then start stripping down every vaguely valuable piece of this base. For parts" Rick tells it. "I'm about to show that bastard who he's ******* with.
Back in the sanctum Robotnik turns to Doof. "Tell me you didn't know of this?"
Doof hesitates. "Weeeell I didn't not know."
Robotnik scowls. "Then I think it's time for you to leave."
"Oh but-"
"Go!"
Doof hangs his head and mopes away. A Badnik taps Robotnik on the shoulder.
"What is it now?"
"Um not to bother you sir but those thieves are still at the door." The robot says apologetically Robotnik grins nastily.
"Good I'm in the mood to see someone destroyed. Unleash every Badnik we have!"
Cut to the Wall.
"Are you still fighting those things?"
Lapis has flown down from the wall to inspect the carnage her team has wrought. The ground beneath the wall is now a mosaic of blasted earth and broken circuitry.
Markus wipes his brow. He looks satisfied. "Yo I know we technically didn't accomplish anything doing that, but it was tight."
No one responds. Markus frowns. "Uh ladies?"
Yae wordlessly points upwards, Markus tilts his head up and swears. A massive cloud of angry robots, large enough to blot out the sun is pouring into the sky from the fortress.
Peach turns to Athena. "I hope you have enough magic for that."
There's a flash of blue in the sky as suddenly the cloud of machines explodes, raining down parts of them.
"Apparently yes." Athena says.
Theirs another blue flash then Sonic materializes on the wall smirking down at them.
"Hey guys, thanks for keeping Baldy busy for me! Now sit back and let an expert work his magic. Now Tails!"
They hear the roar of engine, then a red and white biplane comes soaring over the hill. They can just barely make out Tails at then helm.
"LOOOK OUT!" He calls, and the Flower Girls dive out of the way. A rocket fires from the plane and hits the walls. It buckles and crashes down before them. Tails banks his plane towards the ground. Amethyst rolls out of it Clutching Bentley and Yao in her hands.
"Out of my way nerds!" She calls to the Flower Girls. "We've got a challenge to win."
Lapis glares at her. "Not cool Amethyst, we were working on that wall all day. You can't just come in here and steal our hard work."
Sonic skits up to her. "Uh actually we're not. They are."
The gems swivel around. The Fact Hunters have just sprinted out from behind a nearby hill and are running through the hole in the wall.
"Thank you, ladies." Lenny calls back.
"HEY" Both gem woman shout in union.
Both teams chase the Fact Hunters into the base while hordes of machines writhe around them in outrage.
Cut to the Fortress.
Back deep within the central tower red lights flash in the hallways. As Doofenshmirtz makes his way down one, he notices robots pouring from doorways around him.
"Whoa what's with all the commotion?" He asks no one in particular.
There's a loud rumble from outside.
"Who's thumping out there?"
There's a loud rumble right above his head. Doof looks up.
"Okay. Now who's thumping in here?"
The air vent burst open in front of Doof and out jumps Perry.
"Perry the Platypus!?" He exclaims.
Fluttershy tumbles out behind Perry.
"…And the horse from the Flower Girls!?" He adds. "What are you both doing here?"
"We're here to rescue you!" Fluttershy cries. "Oh and maybe find the statues if that's alright."
"Recuse me?" Doof says. "From what?" Perry and Fluttershy stare at him blankly. "Oh I see, you think I'm Doctor Robotnik's prisoner? Yes? Well no, actually. You see me and the Doctor hit it off earlier pretty well. I'm actually free to go."
Perry chitters.
"You're wondering where's Rick?" Doof asks. "Well… in fairness Rick is the Doctor's prisoner, but it's sort of his fault…. And also mine maybe mind." He grins guilty. "It's a long story."
"I don't think we have time for it." Fluttershy says. "It sounds like the others have made it in here too."
"You think so? You don't know if you're friends are going to be mean to the doctor, do you?" He asks awkwardly as he rubs his neck and glances back down the hallway he came.
"Is something wrong?" Fluttershy asks.
"Ah, I feel I didn't leave things off right with the Doctor you know?" Doof says. "He's not a bad guy when you get to know him, no worse than Rick at least. It's just so nice to make friends that have the same interests at you. I mean don't get me wrong Perry the Platypus-"He adds hastily. "You're the best nemesis a scientist could have but there comes a time in an evil geniuses' life where you just want someone you can scheme with ya dig?"
The other two give him a blank look. He smiles "I think I'm going to go apologize before we scram you guys want to come?"
Perry chitters noncommittedly. Fluttershy hesitates, thinking of the golden statue. "Oh, you mean come with you? Well I'd love to but I… I" She sighs. "Of course, I'll come. I can't ignore a friendship problem, can I?"
Doof grins. "Great come, this way." He leads her back down the hall he came.
Cut to outside.
Beyond the central tower the compound's descended into the heathen halls of pandemonium.
Badniks of all sizes and models in their seemingly inexhaustible numbers swarm the grounds. Fighting to protect their master like hornets serving their queen. But it's clear by now that though their numbers may have been enough to halt one team, now that all three are present they can only offer a token resistance to the invaders converging on the central tower.
"Yo how much you want to bet our statues are in that big thing?" Markus asks.
"Seems to be the wise place to secure them." Athena says. "Lapis clear us a path."
"On it." The gem says faithfully. She raises her arm and draws an amount of oil out of a stack of barrels, she forms the liquid fuel into a whip and with a swift motion slices down a chimney in front of them. It crashes down on an army of machines. Clearing their path.
"Oh wonderful! You've done it!" Peach cries and she makes for the tower. However, something grabs her and pulls her off her feet. "Oh!" She cries. When she gets back up, she sees the Fact Hunters shoving past her. Indy refurls his whip and grins.
"Nothing personal sweetheart."
"We've got a reputation to uphold." Roy jeers.
"NOT ON MY WORLD YOU DON'T!" Tails has dive bombs his plane towards them. The Fact Hunters yelp and dive out of his way.
Taking advantage of the momentary confusion, The Flower Girls attempt to bolt past them. Seeing this Sonic hugs his knees then spins rapidly head over heel in place for a moment to build momentum then hurls himself at them like a bowling ball, knocking Athena off her godly feet. A second later Amethyst takes out Yae with the exact same move.
Sonic pauses to stare at Amethyst. "Hey, what's the idea stealing my spin dash attack? That's like my trademark thing?"
"Funny." Amethyst says with a smirk. "Because I've been doing that trick for something like five thousand years.
Sonic makes a face as if his brimming with questions for a moment before snapping back to reality and pointing to the tower.
"Great! Now come on, let's lose these guys and fight Eggman!"
Cut to Doofenshmirtz.
When Doof and Fluttershy finally locate Robotnik they find him in what must be his personal chambers. The mad genius is sitting alone in a chair pulled up to a fireplace.
"Uh You hoo? Doctor Robotnik there you are! We we're worried about you." Doof says.
"Didn't I say you weren't welcome here?" Robotnik says sharply, without turning around.
"Well yes, but I was saying to my friend here, ah you know we could have left things off better no? Plus also there the whole business of your lair being invaded and all."
"So you decided to return to me in my hour of need?" Robotnik chuckles quietly. "Funny."
He's holding Peter's Walkman is his hand. Out of it crones the husky voice of one Long John Baldry, singing his 1967 UK chart topping single, Let the Heartaches Begin.
I can hear the guitars start to play
And very soon they say
I was a fool to turn my love away
"I can look back on a life of achievements." Robotnik begins. "Challenges met, competitors bested, obstacles over come. I've accomplished more than most scientists and for what, Mr Doofenshmirtz?
"Doctor." Doof corrects him.
Robotnik nods and goes silence.
And with each glass of wine, I feel a glow
And very soon I know
I was a fool to let my baby go
"What makes a genius?" He muses to Doofenshmirtz after a moment.
Doof and Fluttershy glance at each other than shrug. "Is it being prepared to push the boundaries of our universes?" Robotnik says taking their lack of a response as an invitation to continue. "What ever the costs? Isn't that what makes a genius?"
"Well that and a lab coat." Doof says.
"Science." Robotnik says, distraughtly. "It has taken everything from me, made me a pariah on this cursed world. I've given her all I am and It demands more. And yet… she it the light of my life.
So let the heartaches begin
I can't help it, I can't win
I've lost that girl for sure
Tears won't help anymore
Baldry's voice swells dramatically as he reaches his chorus, and the hear Robotnik gasps slightly.
Fluttershy looks at Doofenshmirtz uncertainly. "Um is he…"
"Are you surprised at my tears madam?" Robotnik asks of her.
Fluttershy looks taken aback. "No! I-"
"Strong men also cry."
Fluttershy and Doofenshmirtz stare at him in disbelief.
"Strong men also cry." Robotnik repeats.
Yes, let the heartaches begin
I can't help it, I can't win
I've lost that girl for sure
Now she's gone
I can't hold back the tears...
Anymore.
Doof awkwardly walks over to the doctor and pats him on the shoulder.
"Look Doctor I'm sorry hurting your feeling earlier. You're a great evil genius with a great lair!"
Robotnik smiles. "Much obliged Doctor. You are a good friend, and you'll make an even greater badnik."
"Wait what?" Doof asks.
Suddenly a metal claw bursts out of the ceiling and throws Doof into a capsule that's just emerged from the wall. Doof pounds on the glass. "Hey!? What's the big idea!?"
"My apologies Doctor." Robotnik says grinning suddenly. "This isn't personal. I just happen to trust machines more. Now begin robotization!"
He presses a button and the capsule begins scanning Doof. Then suddenly the door to the hall explodes open. Fluttershy squeals in fright
"What the!?" Robotnik cries. A minute later Sonic bursts in and knocks him to his feet."
"Hey Eggbutt long time no see?" Sonic smirks. "I was just in the area treasure hunting and I hear you've got something that belongs to my new pals."
"Perry the Platypus!" Doof cries, then he looks at Sonic again and does a double take. "Wait, what is this? You're not Perry the Platypus."
Sonic looks at Doof and groans. "Oh great, another evil scientist. You're not gonna be a problem for me too are you?"
"He's not the one you need to worry about."
There's another rumble then something large crashes up through the metal floor. It's Rick. In the time since they've last him, he's had his robot find the parts for, then designed and built his own exo-suit. He laughs at them triumphantly. "Who's the greatest mind on the planet now bitch!?"
"Hey man." Sonic shouts. "You got a problem?"
"No. But you're about too if you don't step off and let beat up baldly down there."
"Nobody beats up baldly but me." Sonic says.
Rick smirks. "Alright sorry kids, looks like I'm killing both of you to establish my dominance."
He launched a barrage of deadly looing red lasers at the hedgehog. Sonic nabs the now barely conscious Robotnik then flips out of the ways. The lasers seer through the walls around them before the floor fully gives way and the five of them fall through the tunnel of destruction Rick carved getting up here.
Doof still trapped in his capsule his fall yells in terror. Moments before he hits the ground it unlocks and he goes flying sideways until someone catches him. He looks up to see his savior, Perry the Platypus hanging from a pipe by one of his secret agent gadgets. Doof gasps.
"Perry the Platypus! You did come to rescue me after all!" Perry nods and with a surprising bout of strength hauls them up onto the pipe. Doof grins. "You know I changed my mind. Who needs friends with the same interests, I'm happy hanging out with my nemesis, right pal?"
Perry shrugs then grins. Doof's face lights up.
"Yeah! High five!" He raises his hand and his sleave falls down revealing his entire right arm to now be robotic. They both pause and stare at it. "Huh." Doof says after a minute. "Well no matter I bet we change it back with the machi-"
A massive piece of debris crashes down behind them crushing the robotization capsule.
"You know on second thought I can probably get used to this."
Meanwhile down below Rick and Sonic have landed in Robotnik sanctum. Rick unloads volley after the volley at the hedgehog.
"DAMN IT! Stay still!" Rick yells.
"Sorry pal." Sonic says coyly. "Looks like you're too slow!"
Rick roars and blast the path of destruction across the room. Sonic laughs. "Come on, I thought you were trying to be better than Eggman?"
"You don't get it do you!?" Rick Shouts. "None of you ******* get it! I'm not beneath Robotnik, or Conner or anyone! I'm Rick ******* Sanchez! Rick C-137! Rickest Rick there is, smartest mammal in the galaxy and a living ******* GOD!"
As the shouts the heavens the walls buckle and another section of the base crashes down on top of Rick. When the dust clears, Ricks laying limp under a pile of rubble, and Sonic's standing in the ruins of Robotnik's vault. The gold statue in his right hand.
"Oh yeah…" He says. "That sounds exactly like Eggman!"
Rick groans painfully.
Theirs a sound like a stampede as the rest of the Contestants finally barge into the room. Short N Spunky at the front of the pack. Amethyst stops in front of them. She sees Sonic and her eyes light up.
"No way dude!"
Sonic grins. "Catch."
He throws it to her and she catches it flawlessly, then she holds above her head and cheers.
"VICTORY!"
Her team cheers with her, including Tails whose apparently grounded his plane somewhere. Even Tomoko manages a feebly cheer. Not that either other team's paying attention.
"Pegasus! Look!" Athena cries. Fluttershy (whose been in the air since the floor collapsed) spins around. There beneath her is something silver is glittering. She gasps and dives fore it. It flies and away from her just before she reaches it.
"Huh?" She says then looks up. Perry and Doof are grinning down from there pipe. The silver statue attached to the end of the one of Perry's spy gadgets.
"Yes!" Doof cries "Score one for the Scientist and the Platypus!"
Peter Quill pushes his way past the crowd of contestant than takes a moment to catches his breathe. The Walkman his mother gave him culched safely back in one of his hands.
"Alright! Show over ya'll did it!" He announced. "Final score of the day, Flower Girls in third, Fact Hunters in Second, and team Short N Spunky gets the gold!"
"Heck ya with did!" Amethyst says excitedly. "Now what'd we win!? What's our prize?"
"Something about a bunch of Chili dogs and a night hanging with Sonic and his pals." Peter says, pulling a notepad from his pocket.
Short N Spunky cheers. Dipper meanwhile walks over to Rick and prods him with a stick.
"Uh what about Rick? Is he going to go through a wild personality change now or something?"
Rick groans and curses.
"Doesn't sound like it." Peter says pulling out a hand-held device and scanning Rick. "But he has broke just about every bone and gadget he had. Serves him damn right for breaking the boss's rules and stealing my Walkman."
Rick mutters something that sounds like a violent threat. Peter laughs then turns to the Flower girls.
"Moving on to the actual tragedy, Ladies, Markus, Sorry to say it but your voting someone out tonight."
The girls groan.
"Well, at least we al tried our best?" Fluttershy offers.
Lapis gives her a look. "Where we're you all day? I thought we put you on secret entrance duty."
"Oh yes, well I found one. I just got distracted helping Perry and Doctor Doofenshmirtz." Fluttershy insists.
Athena raise her eyebrow. "You mean the two Fact Hunters that just stole our statue, you were helping them?"
Fluttershy smiles embarrassedly.
Cut to the elimination room.
The Flower Girls sit in a part of the ship they've one been twice before. It's a semi-circular room one floor beneath the crew quarters. The flower girls Two dozen or so red plush seats are arranged around Conner who's looking much better than he was this morning.
"So Markus and the Ladies." He says. "Welcome back to the elimination room. God it's been a little bit hasn't it. What was it episode five last time I saw this place? That was your last formal elimination I think wasn't it guys?"
"Can we maybe not draw this out today?" Lapis says unenthusiastically.
Conner smiles sympathetically. "Aright. Moment you've been waiting for, the fallowing contestants are safe…"
He clears his throat and begins to read their votes.
"Athena…
Markus…
Peach…
Yae….
And now the contestant going home today is…"
It's down to Fluttershy and Lapis. Fluttershy looks nervous, as does Lapis thought she's somewhat better at hiding it.
"It actually came down to a tie today. Which means we had to break out the old tiebreaker." Conner says. Lapis and Fluttershy look up hopefully.
"Lapis! Fluttershy! To begin the tiebreak what number am I thinking of?" Conner asks plainly.
"Seven thousand." Lapis says.
"Um… Six?" Guesses Fluttershy.
"Mmm. Lapis was closer, it was a million and two." Conner says. "She gets to stay."
"That was the tie breaker!?" Lapis asks incredulously.
"That is was." Conner says. "Fluttershy! I'm sorry sweetheart looks like it's the end of the road for you."
Fluttershy smiles. "Alright then."
"No!"
"Yo hold up!"
Markus and Peach run up to distraught.
"We can't get rid of her!" Peach insists. "She's our friend."
Fluttershy smiles gentility. "It's okay you two. I'm ready to go back to Ponyville." She says "But it was nice to meet you, have fun without me."
Conner presses a button, Fluttershy and the cushion she was sitting are sucked down a chute and out of sight. Peach and Markus watch her disappear dejectedly. Conner then turns to the camera.
"And so ends another exciting day. As least that's what I've been told, I was asleep most of it. Anyway, things are looking rough for the Flower Girls lately, and it seems like there shakeup didn't help. Good news though, Saucy Sanchez has crippled himself, meaning the Fact Hunter's now have a new vulnerability. Also, we're finally done all the Sonic stuff! Thank lord, only took us what? Five episodes? Point is, the future's looking exciting, so join us next time. Right here, on Total! Drama! Endless!"