Total Drama Endless, Episode Ten
...
"Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh **** son! Everyone come pay attention to me."
It's a new day in the Fact Hunter's barracks, and Rick Sanchez seems to have adopted a new positive outlook. The others glance over at him disinterestedly and see him propped up in a wheelchair, beaming with pride.
"I'm official mobile agaaaaaaaain!" He shouts. "No more Cripple Riiiick!"
"Rick are you feeling alright? You seem not bitter for once." Beatrice says.
Rick smiles. "Hey! What can I say? I'm just happy that now I'll be able to go on more adventures with this incredible team of mine am I right?" He lowers his eyelids and smirks at them. "Also, after that performance yesterday, you're all my bitch now. Every single one of you." He laughs. "I'm ******* untouchablllle! Cripple Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick! Doctor Doof come hive five me!"
Doof doesn't response. The doctors in the same position he's been in all night, curled up in a ball on his bed listening to soft rock on a pair of headphones. A sad vacant look over his expressions.
"Okay maybe not." Rick says. "Lenny what about you? Come high five me."
"I think Lenny's out." Dipper says. "He said something about visiting Short N Spunky."
Roy chuckles. "He's visiting the loser team? What for?"
Cut to Short N Spunky.
Although the Fact Hunter Barrack has become cluttered over the course of the game there is no comparing it to horrifying state Short N Spunky have allowed their room to degrade into.
Large piles of junk and garbage reach the ceiling, blocking some of the lamps and turning in the Barrack into dark and dirty cave, in the exact centre of which Amethyst is lounging in her bed like a sultan in his harem, playing old video games with Lenny.
"You know, in my world this system's called the GameCube. Dolphin was only it's code name." Lenny pips.
Amethyst grumbles. "That still doesn't explain why you're so good at Cool Clash Beat-Down."
"You mean Super Smash Melee?"
"Same difference. Point is, this character right here I'm really good at, so prepare to taste defeat twice in one night Fact Hunter."
"Word of advice pal." Yao calls from the corner where he's been working a punching bag. "She get's violent if you beat her in that game."
"I'm not violent, I'm passionate!" Amethyst insists. "I practice like all the time alright?"
Bentley sighs. He's sitting in his own bed with Tails, trying his best to fix his mechanical arms. The area around them being the only immaculate space left in the room.
"Let's just say if Amethyst put as much effort into tidying as she did playing those games, this place would be clean enough to build satellites in." He says.
"I keep telling you people I have a system." Amethyst assures them.
"Where did all this trash even come from?" Lenny muses.
"My gem." Amethyst says causally. "We can store stuff in them. I told you that right?" Lenny shakes his head. "Oh. Well. Now I did." She says.
The door creaks open and in walks Tomoko, her arms filled with snacks from the Kitchen, Amethyst's face lights up.
"Yo Tomoko!" She calls. "Finally! You got the goods?!"
"I… think so." She mumbles shyly. Planting several bags of chips and a bottle of soda on Amethyst's stained mattress. Without getting up the gem extends her arm and grabs the soda bottle. She sniffs it then makes a face.
"Ugh! Tomoko! You got the kind I don't like again."
"I'm sorry!" Tomoko cries. "Do you want me take it back?"
"No." Amethyst says sarcastically. "Just… get rid of it. Poor it down your underwear or something.
Lenny chuckles. "Amethyst there's easier ways of doing things. Can you imagine if that's how she's… actually doing it!?"
He sits up in surprise. Tomoko is in fact obediently pouring the two-litre bottle of soda into her skirt. Whimpering in discomforted as she does. Amethyst and Yao laugh.
"Yeah! She's great!" Amethyst says. "She'll do anything you tell her. Watch this. Hey Tomoko!"
"Yes!?"
"Climb on top of that pile of my stuff and to that song and dance bit you do."
"Okay!"
Tomoko clambers up the nearest junk pile and begins to dance and sing.
soro de kaeru michisugara
aisatsu sae mo dekinai sa
"Do it on one foot!" Amethyst shouts.
Tomoko lifts up a foot and wobbles dangerously.
matte mo satte mo kawaranai
sou da! kore kara da ze?
Amethyst laughs. "Now hop to the rhythm!"
Tomoko makes a fearful face then starts jumping up and down on one foot.
netto de zenbu ga kanketsu de
koe wo dasu no hisashiburEE!
Her foot slips from underneath her and she tumbles forward off the pile, landing on the floor with a crash.
Amethyst and Yao are besides themselves with laughter. Lenny on the other hand looks slightly concerned.
"Are you alright?" He asks Tomoko.
She let's a moan somewhere between pain and pleasure. "Of course." She says faintly. "I'm finally popular."
A few hours later the teams file down into the transporter room, where Conner and Jeremy are already waiting.
"Welcome back everyone." Conner says is his usual television host tone of voice. "It's that time again already. We've got another exciting adventure through the many pages of fiction in store for you today. This time, we're going to Falconia! The human stronghold of the magical land of Fantasia."
There's suddenly a great commotion above them as they hear someone drop something, then spirit downstairs. A moment later Peter Quill bursts through the door, panting.
"Fantasia!?" He repeats faintly. "You guys are going to the Never-Ending-Story!?"
"Not that Fantasia." Conner clarifies. "This one's from a Japanese manga called Berserk."
"Oh..." Peter looks immensely. He slinks away. Tomoko on the other hand, suddenly looks terrified.
"We're going to Berserk?" She repeats. "As in Berserk, Berserk? The really violent one?"
"Yes, I'm aware this is one of the more how we say 'PG-13' worlds we're visiting this season." Conner admits. "But you know… how it is. The Producers wanted more Anime so they decided to go with a manga exclusive location in Berserk because I'm sure that's what would generate the most mass audience appeal." He looks at the camera. "Don't worry folks, only a few more of these and then we'll be on to the famous pop culture locales."
He turns back to the contestants. "Regardless of less than network television friendly source material, I've been assured they'll be fun times for all today so long as…" He takes a note out of his jacket pocket and reads it. "As long as any and all women are kept away from Griffith, Roy's kept away from Locus, Rick is kept away from everyone, no one points out the Olympic level mental gymnastics Sonia does on an hourly basis, Markus doesn't drop a diss track on Grumbled and/or Zod, Tomoko is especially kept from any of the aforementioned and/or soon to be mentioned people, Rakshas is kept from everyone, no one mentions Guts, Gutz, Gattsu, Gotz or any permutations there of and I don't catch anyone dissing best boy Mule (yes, that's his name). Also please don't comment on Irvine's appearance. He's not gonna be offended or anything, but it's kinda rude." He looks up from his note. "Also, the statues are within city limits so stay within the walls. There. I think that's everything."
Rick chuckles. "Really reaffirming how much confidence you have in us Conner."
"Well what can I say?" Conner says flatly. "You people seem to like getting in trouble with the law and burning down locations once and a while."
"We already said we were sorry for that!" Lapis says indignantly.
Conner chuckles. "I can't stay mad at you people. Alright you knuckleheads, stay out of trouble. Send 'em down Jeremy!"
Jeremy gurgles and slams himself against the console. A moment later the contestants disappear.
Cut to the Locale.
When everyone rematerializes, it takes a moment for some of them to regain their bearings
They're suddenly standing in the central plaza of a vast preindustrial capital city, adored in with great works of monumental classical architecture. Locales roam about, all busy and well dressed in fine robes. Some take pause to stop and stare at the Eighteen newcomers that have just appeared out of nowhere.
Short N Spunky and the Flower Girls run off immediately. The Fact Hunters however stay put.
"Alright so… what are we looking at here?" Rick asks.
"Well this Falconia place or whatever Conner called it seems to have some uncanny similarities to 1st century Rome." Observes Indy. "Although there are some anachronisms. This square here mirrors Saint Peter's in the Vatican which didn't exist in it's current from until the 17th centur-"
"Indy, shut the **** up. I wasn't talking to you." Rick snaps. He swivels his chair over to Dipper. "Sorry about that. Anyway kid, fill us in. This kind of anime nerd **** seems like it'd be up your ally?"
"I might be known indulge once in a while." Dipper admits. He strokes his chin. "Rick, I'd say it's safe to assume we're looking at standard fantasy scenario. Orks, goblins, elves, kiwis, the usual. Conner said this a human city so chances are we won't see too many of them, but there are probably wizards and magic users about."
"Great!" Rick says. "Just a heads up, wizards are almost universally assholes. Now let's go find one."
"You think a wizard could help us find the gold statue?" Lenny asks.
"Not really. I think a wizard could heal my broken bones." Rick says.
"What? How does that help us?" Beatrice asks.
"It helps you help me help you." Rick replies. "We heal me, I find us the statue as usual, we go back to never loosing challenges. How's that for a plan?"
"Why do we need to heal you anyway?" Beatrice says. "I like you this way, now you can't cheat and make us look bad."
Rick groans.
"God you ****** people are lucky I'm in a good mood. Okay. New plan. Obviously, this team doesn't have a lot of faith in each other so why down we do some kind of…" He pauses to belch. "What's it called? Trust exercise! That's it!"
Beatrice raises her eyebrow skeptically. "What do you mean?"
Rick points to himself, Dipper, Lenny and Doof. "How's this? Me and my posse here go work on the statue hunt. While the rest of you find me a magic potion or some ****. You trust me to win the round, as you should. And I trust you to not bring me back poison."
"We agree." Wednesday says. Indy and Beatrice begin to protest but she ignores them. "And if either side fails to uphold there end up of the bargain, their punishment will be long and excruciating."
"That I can get behind." Rick says, and Wednesday reach's over to shake his hand. Rick nods to his "Posse" and they disappear into the crowd. Leaving Wednesday behind with Roy, Indy and Beatrice. The later two looks greatly unhappy.
"We're not actually getting his dumb potion, are we?" Beatrice asks.
"I intend to keep my word. You're free to disobey if you think you can survive the consequences." Wednesday says silkily. She strolls calmly up an opposing pair soldiers clad in silver plate armour that shines like moonlight.
"You there. Guardians of the kingdom. I am a visitor from far away. What pray tell is the status of magic in this world?"
The soldier scowls. "If by magic do you mean the heathen craft that witches practice?"
"That is the best kind." Wednesday replies. The solider glares at her.
"Such ways are outlawed. Deemed sinful by the Holy See and the banned by the White Falcon himself. Only worthless criminals in the poorest and most heathen district of our fair city would ever dare defy such an order."
"I see." Wednesday says.
Cut to the poorest, and most heathen district of Falconia.
Away from the grand plaza, from the shadow of the mighty palace, from the broad streets lined with horses and carts lies the less glamorous side of Falconia.
Here in darker, narrower streets the many refugees of this world's torturous history are left to squalor. All around the place reeks of desperation and despair. None of this seems to effect Wednesday, though the others look slightly disturbed.
"That vendor we spoke to said his be around here." Wednesday says.
"That's right. This looks like the alley he was talking about. Here up ahead." Says Indy.
"Remind me why we're going along this this?" Beatrice asks loudly to no one in particularly. "This whole doing Rick's shopping for him thing?"
"We got outvoted kid." Indy says in a low voice. "And keep your voice down."
"I'm not scared of Wednesday, Jones."
"You're a teenaged girl in a shady part of a medieval city." Indy warns. "Wednesday's the least of your concerns."
Suddenly Wednesday stops in front of a door.
"Think this is it?" Roy asks.
"There's only one way to know." Wednesday says.
Roy nods. "Right." And he kicks down the door. Inside three men jump up in alarm. Two brown skinned fellows that look that could have come from South Asia, or at the very least this world's equivalent, and a man who must be part of the local peasantry.
"Royal guards!" One shouts.
"No. Were friends." Wednesday says softly. "In fact another one of your friends sent us. The street hawker on the main road that sells those stolen goods."
The Eldest of the three breaks into a nearly toothless grin. "Well then…" He says smoothly. "In that case let us do business."
He and his cohorts get up and beckon the four deeper into the dwelling. They lead them into a room thick with an overpowering scent of dust, mold and several unknown aromas. One of the men bends down and pries several floorboards lose. There's an array of magical artifacts and potions underneath.
"Treasures from the homeland, Kushan!" The toothless man explains. "Our people's magical arts remain sacred to me and my family, even If the Falcon of Darkness (He says the name with loathing.) disproves of them. But of course, he has never been how you say, accepting of my culture."
"People are cruel." Wednesday muses. "Do you have anything that cure broken bones?"
"Of course!" The man says. "Transformative spells and potions are the cornerstone of our craft."
"Excellent." Wednesday says quietly. Her lips curl into a smile. "We'll return shortly, with your payment. We've acuminated quite the collection of treasure on our journeys. I'm sure we'll have something you'll find agreeable."
The man chuckles darkly. His friends slide out from behind him suddenly and move between them and the door.
"There is no need for that." He says. "You've got something here already."
"What's that?" Indy asks, his eyes narrowing. The potion seller's eyes flicker to Beatrice.
"The girl." He hisses. "She's a pretty thing, isn't she?"
"She's not for sale." Wednesday says forcefully.
Indy pulls Beatrice closer to his side. "When I say run, run, understand?" He whispers into her ear.
Beatrice nods. The potion seller's two associates are circling them like sharks.
"Please." The man says. "You have to understand. My boys are young and growing, they get so lonely…" He smiles at Indy. "You understand, don't you?"
Indy smiles back. "Yeah…" The man laughs. As does Indy, then suddenly, he punches the man in the jaw, knocking him back into the wall. The other two men raise their fist. Indy draws his revolver and fires into the ceiling. The men cower at the sight of the strange weapon.
"Take what you can and run!" Indy shouts the shoveling potions into his bag. The others grab fistfuls of bottles and chase after him. As they exit the house, they can hear the man screaming. "Thieves!"
The people in the narrow road stare at them as they run. Indy fires his gun into the air again and they disperse in fright.
"This way!" He shouts, and ducks around a corner. A moment later he's back, and sprinting back the way they came.
"NOT THIS WAY!"
Two guard's on horseback round the corner after him and surge towards the four. Beatrice yelps in fright and pushes past a crowd of locales and ducks into another alley. The vials of potion ringing in her arms and they clink and bump against each other. Unfortunately, one of the horseman veers away from his cohort to pursuit her. His colt's thunderously hooves quickly outpacing her in even in this unfavourable terrain.
Running out of options she dives through a doorway, through a home, and into a small courtyard. Her eyes dart to a water trough and without hesitating she hurls herself into to it. Her haste knocking lose the stopper of one of the vials and its blue potion disperses into the water. Beatrice waits beneath the water's surface as it settles down. The guard walks into the courtyard, lingers for a minute then growls irritably and returns the way he came. Beatrice waits another minute after that then emerges, coughing and sputtering.
"I thought he'd never leave." She mutters to herself as she tries to step out of the trough. Curiously it seems to have grow deeper, and her legs don't seem to be working right.
"Of course now I'm still separated from everyone else." She sighs. "What else could go wrong today?" She closes her eyes and rubs her face but again, something's wrong. Her hands are too stiff, they feel oddly soft, oddly… familiar.
She opens her eyes and stares at her arms. Her eyes go wide.
"Oh no." She whispers.
Dreading what she's about to see, she turns around slowly and looks at her reflection, then wails in despair.
Cut to Rick.
Back in the richer part of town Rick's half of the team seems to be having much better fortunate overall. Dipper having found a guard polite enough to list off the local points of interest.
"Great! That's everything. Thanks!"
Dipper puts away his notepad and walks over to the other three. He scratches his chin.
"Okay. Apparently, they're all about monumental architecture here, because that guy gave me a lot of leads. Although If we're being honest. It's probably in the castle."
They look up. The Falcon Royal Castle has been looming over them since they've arrived. A massive white structure as wide as the rest of the city in the shape of two pairs of falcon wings.
"It does seem obvious doesn't it?" Lenny asks. "With the all-consuming immensity of it all."
"Yeah, I kind of hope it's not up there." Dipper says.
"Let's be honestly here, it is." Rick says. "But **** It. I'm here to have fun. Let's check the other places first. That way we get more time to enjoy our guys day! Yeah!"
They march off towards the first landmark. Dipper and Lenny cheer. Doof let's out a half-hearted sigh.
"Doof what's wrong?" Rick asks. "Still missing the platypus?"
"He's more than a platypus. He was Perry the Platypus." Doof says. "We had a system the two of us. I'd do evil, he'd defeat me, we'd do it again tomorrow." He sighs again. "I'm just not… used to seeing him lose, you know? I'm wonder where he is right now? Hope he's not taking it to hard."
"Doc I-I Know how you feel." Rick says gesturing to Dipper. "Me and Morty here have the same relationship as of late."
"My name's Dipper, Rick."
"That's what I said." Rick says. "Like I was saying, me and this kid are inseparable. I seriously can't imagine how I'd feel if anything happened to him."
"Weren't you ready to abandon him on the Nostromo?" Lenny asks. "Or in Los Santos? Or that lovely diner on Mars?"
"Ancient History." Rick insists before turning back to Doof. "Point is, we're not going to have to worry about losing anyone else alright? I'm in charge of the team again, and I plan on reviving my winning streak. So, enjoy yourself today alright?"
Doof pulls out his wallet and stares at something inside of it for a moment. He's eyes well up with tears, then he wipes them away with his sleeve and turns to the other.
"Alright… I'll try."
Cut to Short N Spunky.
"Remind me why were going here again?"
The team strolls across another busy plaza Amethyst scowls at the large Library in front of them.
"That way I see it, we'll need to get all the information we can before we start searching." Bentley says with a chuckle. "Marvelous place this is isn't it? Reminds me of my time in Europe."
"Uh huh." Amethyst says disinterestedly.
Trailing a little way behind them Tomoko's dragging her feet. Although in her eyes she feels as if she's conquered her fear of her own team, the large crowds here still make her uncomfortable. They remind her of the back home, of school and the metro that brought her there. She looks down at her shoes. Thinking of home is unpleasant, she's not popular at home. At least not like she is here.
A bird song catches her attention and she looks up. She's wandered off the main square into a smaller deserted courtyard in from of a church. She start's breathing heavily.
"Hello?" She says uncertainly. "Amethyst? Bentley?"
"Tomoko." A little voice says.
Tomoko spins around. There's no one around but here. The only other sign of life in the courtyard is a small bluebird watching her from a tree branch.
"Tomoko!" A voice speaks from the tree. Tomoko stares at it in confusion. The little bird seems to be staring back at her. Tomoko points at her self uncertainly.
"Yes Tomoko. I'm talking to you." The bluebird snaps. "Do you see any other Tomoko's around her?"
Tomoko yelps in fright and falls to the ground. The bluebird flutters down onto to her chest.
"Listen Tomoko. I don't have time for one of your freak outs." The bird says urgently.
Theirs something about that voice that's familiar. Suddenly it clicks. Tomoko's eyes grow wide.
"Beatrice!?" She cries. "You're a bluebird again!"
"I Know I'm bluebird again!" Beatrice shouts. "You have to help me with-"
"Yo! Tomoko! There you are."
The rest of her team comes running. Tomoko gets up and Beatrice flutters into her shoulder, suddenly silent.
"Tomoko what are you doing here!" Amethyst says impatiently. "We told you we were going to the Library!"
"Uh… I-I got lost." Tomoko stammers.
"How!?" Amethyst shouts. "It was right in front of us."
"Apologies!" Tomoko says hastily with a bow (Beatrice almost falls off her shoulder.) "I was… um… distractedly… I meant distracted!"
"With what?" Amethyst asks skeptically. Tomoko stammers.
Suddenly Yao laughs. "Probably because her underpants are still sticky from all that soda you made her poor in them."
Tomoko nods and blushes. Yao and Amethyst cackle. "Here!" Amethyst says wiping away a tear. "The Library's the big building at the end of the large square. How about we'll meet you in there. You can wash off in a fountain or something."
"You want me to bathe in a fountain?!" Tomoko cries. "In public."
"Yeah! Sure! Trust me it'll be hilarious." Amethyst insists. "And then your undies will be clean and we can experiment pouring new stuff down them when we get back."
Yao laughs and slaps Tomoko on the back hard enough to almost knock her off her feet. "Yeah! We're gonna have so much fun together you and us kid." He chuckles. "Nice bird by the way."
He sticks out one of his fat fingers to Beatrice. She pecks it angrily.
"Yaow! Hey!" He nurses his injured finger and scowls at her. Amethyst laughs at him.
"Meet us in the Library when you're ready alright?" She says.
Tomoko nods and her team walks off. Beatrice's feathers bristle in anger.
"I can't believe the way they talk to you."
"I know." Tomoko says breathlessly. "It's so nice to finally be popular."
"What? No!" Beatrice shouts. "Look, well have to talk about that later. Right now I need you to help me fix this."
"But what about my team?"
"You heard them. They'll just think your bathing in a fountain somewhere. Now come on. We need to find a way to change me back into a human before my teammates see me like this."
"What would be wrong with that?" Tomoko asks innocently.
"Everything!" Beatrice insists. "My team's a bunch of creeps and jerks that prey on weakness. You have any idea what they'd say if they found out I was a bird?"
"I thought they liked you?"
"They liked the Platypus to before he cost us a challenge." Beatrice says with a concerned look. She shutters. "They're probably already upset with me for running off."
Cut to the poorer part of town.
Back in his home, the Potion seller licks his wounds and grumbles to his boys about his stolen stock. Suddenly their door bursts open and in pours a dozen guards, Indy, Roy and Wednesday accompanying them.
"That's them officers." Wednesday says, pointing an accusing finger at the old man and his helpers. "Those are the illegal potion brewers."
"What!?" Roars the man. "How dare you! These people stole from us! They're the real criminals."
"See?" Wednesday says. "I told you they'd lie like this."
"It's fine little girl. These sorts of lowlifes are growing common in the poorer districts." One of the guards say, shackling the old man. "Thank you for reporting them."
"Of course." Indy says dismissively. His eyes turn to the old man. "Now, where's the girl?"
The Old Man blinks at him in confusion. "Why, did she run off?"
Indy strikes him across the face. The man's colleges roar in indignation as he reels back, coughing blood.
"What do you think I'm stupid?!" Indy shouts. "You and your men had your eyes on her. If I find out you harmed a single hair on her head I swear-"
"It's not my fault you were stupid enough to let her out of your sight" The man jeers. "Ganishka permit, whoever owns her now treats her gently. I know my men would have."
Two guardsmen have to hold Indy back and her howls death threats at the man.
"Gentlemen please!" Roy says catching everyone's attention. "This is a very fine show and dance you've got going here but now if you'll allow me to handle this properly, then I recommend standing back.
Indy, Wednesday and the guards drawn back. Roy smiles.
"Good."
Then without warning, an orange crystal lattice emerges from his skin and encases him like a suit of armour. He lunges and the old potion seller and pins him to the wall by his throat. The guard's jaws drop.
"HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN ABLE TO THAT?!" Indy bellows.
"Remember all those little objections I had about turning Lenny into a gem?" Roy asks. "How I thought the whole thing was unnecessary? Yes. This is why."
He turns his attention back to the potion seller who's whimpering with fright.
"Now I believe that my ally has made request of information from you sir. I suggest you answer it truthfully least you want me to revoke your breathing rights."
"Please!" The man chokes. "I swear on my family I haven't seen your girl! If I had I would have told you by now just don't hurt me!"
"Alright, thank you."
He drops the man who collapses to the ground and starts sobbing. Indy runs his hair through his hands in distress.
"This is bad." He mutters. "First Wille and the Thuggee, then Marion and those bandits in Cairo, Now this." He shakes his head. "I can't be responsible for putting another young woman in danger."
"You won't be." Wednesday says. She turns to the guards. "You hear them. Have someone looking for a teenaged girl with red hair and a blue dress. Our host will take unkindly to all of us if she's not found."
The guards nod and file out, taking the criminals with them. Indy sighs.
"What Rick's going to say?"
Cut to the Theater.
Lenny and Doofenshmirtz emerge from a grand opera house chatting excitedly. Both of them clutching programmes for a play called: Griffith; Falcon of Light, The world's most selfless man. Rick and Dipper emerge behind them. Dipper pushing Rick's chair.
"So now it's official." Rick declares. "That was the last landmark on the list. meaning that our statues are hundred precent in that giant ****off castle."
Dipper sighs and looks up at the massive structure resignedly. "Alright guys, let's go."
"Wait! Wait!" Doof cries. "There's a food cart over there. Can we get something? Please? Please? Please?"
Rick chuckles. "Ah… What the hell. Why not?" He says. "Just stay in sight alright?"
Doof cheers and runs off. Dipper smiles. "He's definitely look's like he's feeling better."
"I think so." Rick says. "He's a good guy that Doof. That energy of his is a r-real morale booster in this damn place."
Dipper laughs. "That's one way to put it. All I'll say is he'd fit in nicely back in Gravity Falls." He stretches and looks back the castle. "Okay. Quick bite to eat and then we win this thing."
Cut to the Castle.
The entrance to the great castle of Falconia is of course too grand to simply be at street level. Rather when the cities planned central boulevard meets its mighty base it arches upward and is carried by a great ramp until it meets its lofty destination. On this ramp, Horse carts slowly crawl back and forth, carrying supplies to and from the castle. In one of them, stowed away inside an empty barrel is Tomoko and Beatrice.
"Okay." Beatrice whispers. "I think the ground's starting to level out. Not much longer now before we're through the gates." She flutters around distractedly. "If some no name crooks have enough magic to turn me into a bird, then I mean for sure the king or whoever lives here has some way to change me back" She looks at Tomoko uncertainly. "That makes sense, right?"
Tomoko whimpers. "Can I go back to my friends?"
"Why?" Beatrice asks accusingly. "So, they can make fun of you?"
"We've been having fun together." Tomoko says earnestly.
"They're taking advantage of you Tomoko. Take it from some one who knows what it looks like."
Tomoko sighs. "Yeah… I still like the attention though."
"You deserve more than attention from them. You need respect. Especially from yourself."
"I do respect myself." Tomoko insists. "…some times. When I'm not acting stupid."
"Oh. And pouring things in your underpants for your team's amusement isn't acting stupid?
Tomoko turns red. "…doing that makes them like me. And if they don't like me, they will vote me out like Ramona and Winry."
"Is this really worth it?" Beatrice asks.
There's a large jolt and suddenly they feel the cart stop moving.
"I think we're here." Tomoko says curiously.
She carefully pushes open the barrel and creeps away from the cart. They've stopped in some kind of service stable. There's a door up ahead that leads outside the girls pass through it and find that the entire lower tier of the castle consists of a massive garden, with blooming flowers and sweet-smelling fruit trees. The two stand there blinking for a moment taking it all in.
"Wow." Tomoko whispers. "So many flowers…"
"And worms." Beatrice adds. Tomoko looks at her. "Hey I'm a bird again." Beatrice says defensively. "We eat worms."
"What is it like being a bird?" Tomoko asks her, as they walk deeper into the garden.
"Not great." Beatrice says bluntly. "You're weak, tiny, you get cold all the time and everything wants to eat you. Now let's find some one that can help me already."
"Hello?"
The two girls yelp and turn around. There's a dainty young woman eyeing them curiously from the shade of a gazebo.
"How did you get into my gardens?" She glances at Tomoko's school uniform and her eye's go wide. "Oh. You're one of those visitors the pontiff has been buzzing about, aren't you?"
Tomoko stammers then nods stiffly. The regal looking woman gets up suddenly. "I suppose you're here to see my husband Griffith. I'll fetch him for you."
She walks off solemnly. Tomoko makes several noises of apprehension.
"That was easy." Beatrice says. "Griffith. Does that name should familiar to you?"
"He was one of the people Conner told us not to approach."
"Oh…" Beatrice says softly.
Then her a set of footstep and Tomoko turns around. Standing before them is a man with angelic good looks. His armour and waist length hair are a pure radiant white and his eyes are nearly as pale. He stares at them with an almost divine aura.
"Who are you that wishes to speak to the Falcon of Light?" He says quietly.
Tomoko gulps.
Cut to the gate.
Back at the top of the ramp there seems to be some commotion disturbing the both the horses and their masters. It's Letsplay Lenny, effortlessly spiriting up the ramp. He carries Rick and his chair in on one arm, Doofenshmirtz and Dipper in the other. He reaches the top and gently sets his passengers down. Rick looks ecstatic.
"**** Yeah!" He shouts (Several of the passing merchants shoot him a dirty look) "How's that for breaking in the gem powers Lenny?"
"Happy to be of service gentleman." Lenny says cheerfully. "That was the best workout I've had in years."
"Can you carry us on the way down two?" Doof asks excitedly.
"If it's required." Lenny says cracking his knuckles. "In the mean time, would you by any chance want me to bust us into this lovely castle one man army style?"
"Ah you know Lenny why don't you try it the legal way first?" Rick says dismissively. "This has just been one of those days where mass causalities would really dampen the party. Know what I'm saying?"
Lenny nods politely. "Well in that case. If you gentlemen would be so kind as to be a little patient, then I'll go see if they'll allow us an audience with the king."
"Can I come?" Dipper asks. "I'm not sure the next time I'm gonna be in a castle this impressive. I kinda want to check it out."
"Certainly Dipper. I'd appreciated the company."
The two walk off leaving Doof and Rick alone. Rick wheels his chair around to look back at the rest of Falconia.
"God damn." He says. "How's that for a view doc?"
"Yeah... It's alright." Doof says. "I don't know. All this grandeur is a little on the nose."
"Right?" Rick smirks. "This Falcon's not really subtle if you catch my drift. Guy's practically screaming he's an evil theocratic dictator."
"Oh, speaking of evil. That whole evil robot suit you had at Robotnik's lair? Don't think I didn't notice that." Doof teases. "Admit it, it felt nice didn't it?"
"Listen I'm not evil alright?" Rick insists. "But I get the rush. Mowing through enemies, blowing **** up, living in a giant **** off lair." He glances back at the palace. "What about you doc? You gonna buy a nice place like this if you win the prise money?"
Doof doesn't respond for a moment.
"Doc?" Rick asks again.
He watches as Doofenshmirtz quietly pulls opens his wallet. This time he shows it to Rick. There's a picture of a teenaged girl with brown hair and dark clothing inside. Rick raises an eyebrow.
"Who's the girl?"
"That's my daughter Vanessa." Doof says. "To make several tragic backstories short I didn't have the best life exactly growing up. But Vanessa is one of the few things I've made in life that I'm proud of. I want her to have the opportunities she deserves. So, if by some miracle I win this game I'm putting most of the money towards her college. Maybe then she won't be so embarrassed about her old man."
Now it's Rick's turn to be silent.
"That's a great idea." He says finally. "I've got a daughter myself."
"How old?" Doof asks.
"35."
Doof nods.
"They grow up faster than you want them to."
"Yeah." Rick says. There's another lapse in conversation as Rick seems to contemplate something. "Doof how many things have you won in your life?"
"That I've won? Oh, that's easy; nothing." Doof admits. "It's an occupational hazard of being a bad guy."
"That's about to change." Rick says. "Let me promise you right now. Once I get out of this body cast and get back to ruling this game. I'm taking you to the finale."
Doof gasps. "Really?"
"Of course. I'll give you an official Rick Promise. Those are pretty rare so I suggest savouring it."
Doof's eyes well up with tears. "Thank you." He says softly.
"My pleasure." Rick says with a smirk. "Now cut the sentimental crap. You're gonna make people start shipping us."
Cut to the garden.
The Falcon of Light continues staring at Tomoko. The girl's trembling with terror. Beatrice nestled in her blazer's breast pocket. Watching the man uneasily.
"My wife tells me you're some of the visitors from beyond our world that's visiting us today?" He asks almost disinterestedly.
Tomoko stammers out a yes. Griffith nods and walks towards her. Inspecting her clothing.
"It is no wonder you have sought me." He says. "Surely after seeing Falconia you would be egger to meet it's architect."
"I-I-I came you ask for your help." Tomoko croaks. "My friend is under a spell she need to know if you can help her?"
"If?" Griffith repeats. "There is no if about it. I am the Falcon of Light, champion of men, slayer of the Kushan God-Emperor, Founder of Falconia and the Empire it's destines to lead." He gestures calmly to the beauty surrounding them. "Everything you see before is my accomplishment. There is nothing beyond my abilities."
"Of course." Tomoko agrees meekly.
Griffith walks slowly around her. As if she was something, he was interested in buying. Then, he places his hands on her shoulder. Tomoko gasps.
"…Of course it's possible you don't know this coming from so far away." Griffith says quietly. "Why don't you entertain me with some stories of your far away land…"
He slips his hands down towards her chest.
"NO!"
Tomoko whips around and strikes Griffith across the face. The two of them recoil from each other. Griffith gentle feels the bruise on his check and stares at Tomoko who look's ready to faint.
"Why?" He asks her. Voice bereft of emotion.
"Why!? WHY!? OH THAT'S IT!"
Beatrice shoots out of Tomoko's pocket and flies up to the Falcon's face in a tiny fury.
"HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED SHE DOESN'T WANT TO BE TOUCHED YOU DUNCE!? It's bad enough the criminals act this way BUT THE KING!? SERIOUSLY!?" She snarls in disgust. "Shame oh you! I'll have you know I have been dragged half way across creation in this darn game I'm in, and I have never! NEVER! COME TO HATE A PLACE AS MUCH AS YOUR CRUMMY LITTLE TOWN!"
She gestures at Tomoko furiously. "I don't care if you think you're a falcon of light or slayer of the Kushan whatever, Tomoko is a hundred times the person you are! And If you can't treat her with respect than I suggest you hand us the statues we're looking for. And we can be on our way."
Griffith stares at her in silent for a minute. His wife comes back in to view, summoned by the noise.
"You heard her." He says not looking up at her. "Our visitors are leaving. Fetch them their statues." His wife nods and disappears.
This proves to much for Tomoko and she faints. Beatrice blinks in surprise. "Wait? You actually have them?"
"You're under Kushan magic." Griffith continues. "It's a simple spirit possession spell. If will wear off on its own in time."
Griffith's wife returns. The gold and silver busts of Chris Mclean in her arms. She hands them to him and he offers them to the girls.
"I token of my appreciation." He says diplomatically. "I apologies that Falconia was not all you hopped for. One day my dream for it we'll be fully realized. Then perhaps you'll return and feel differently."
"Just give us the bust." Beatrice says distrustfully.
He nods and places the gold bust in Tomoko's hand, and the silver one on the ground besides her. Beatrice flies down and perches on top of it. Soon as she does, Conner suddenly materializes.
"Alright! Congratulations you two, you won!" He shouts hastily, marching over to Tomoko and Picking her and Beatrice up. "Now let's go home before anyone starts implying things that aren't safe for television some more. JEREMY!"
He beams away with the girls, leaving the Falcon of Light standing in his garden, mildly confused.
Cut to the Ship.
The three of them rematerialize back in the transporter room. Tomoko begins to stir as Conner runs his fingers through his hair.
"Good god you two. What did I say about going near Griffith?"
"If you didn't want us near him, then why did he have the statues?" Beatrice asks. Conner makes a face.
"I might have given them to him first and done my research later alright!? Also speaking of mistakes, I meant bring everyone up Jeremy."
Jeremy gurgles in distress from his control room and slams his face on the console. A moment later the others appear. By there confused looks it's clear none of them we're expecting to return just then.
"What happened?" Lapis asks.
"Well, everyone sorry for the lack of warning but the round's officially over. Beatrice and Tomoko found the statues."
Team Short N Spunky begins to cheer as do some of the Fact Hunters. Indy looks around in surprise.
"Beatrice?" He asks. "You found her? Where is she?"
Beatrice ducks behind Tomoko. Tomoko gives her a look and with a sigh she emerges and flutters up to Indy.
"Uh… Hi." She says embarrassedly. "As you can see, I may have spilled some of that potion on myself."
Indy gives her a disappointed look. "You mean could have flown back at any time? Kid we we're looking all over for you. You had me worried."
Beatrice looks up in surprise. "You did?"
"Of course." Indy says sounding almost offended. "What kind of person do you take me for?"
Beatrice looks away guilty. "Well… thanks." She says. "By the way this Bluebird form isn't permanent."
Indy smirks. "Good. We've already got enough teammates off their game."
"Speaking of which…" Rick says. "Tell me you people didn't manage to **** up getting me my cure?"
"You didn't get our statue." Wednesday says dangerously.
Rick turns to Beatrice. "Beatrice where'd you find that bust anyway?"
"The Castle."
Rick Turns back to Wednesday superiorly. "We we're outside and gate." He says. "The only thing that prevented us from grabbing it was one of you guys sabotaging us. Now fork over the ******* cure."
Wednesday frowns then nods to Indy. He throws his satchel to Rick, revealing it to be full of potion vials.
"One of those might be it." Indy says. Rick frowns.
"That's it a half ass job?"
"You half assed getting our statue." Wednesday replies
Rick grumbles. "Touché."
"Wait, who won are bet then?" Dipper asks. "Neither of us and both of us?"
"I suppose so." Wednesday says. She sighs. "You people find new and innovative ways to disappoint me."
On the other side of the room Yao slaps Tomoko on the back again.
"Why didn't you tell us you knew where the statue was?"
"Dude this is second time you've found it on your own Tomoko! Let us tag along next time" Amethyst says.
Tomoko looks to Beatrice for reassurance. "Only if you treat me with more respect." She mumbles.
Yao nods. "Deal!"
"If it keeps us wining, then you're the boss." Amethyst says.
Tomoko gasps. "Really? That's so nice of you! I'll do anything you want from me as boss!"
Beatrice facepalms.
Behind her Markus looks like he's doing some math in his head.
"Yo, so if they got a statue and they're psyched about that ****. And those other ******* other there also got one they're happy about. That's mean…"
He sighs disappointedly.
Cut to the elimination room.
The Flower Girls sigh dejectedly. Conner gives them a sympathetic smile.
"I'm sorry ladies, and Markus. But you know the rules. Finishing last means someone can't stay."
"Just hurry up and get this over with." Peach says miserably.
"Alright." He says. "Ladies, Markus. Here's who's not going home tonight."
He begins calling names.
"Athena…
Markus…
Lapis…"
"And the person eliminated tonight is…"
Just like that it's down to Yae and Peach. Both of them look surprised. Conner hesitant for a moment as he sometimes does.
…
"Yae." He calls finally. "Your journey ends here."
Yae hangs her head. Then she bows stiffly to the others.
"I am sorry." She says. "It's been an honour."
"That is was." Athena says solemnly. The others nod sadly.
Conner presses a button and the floor behind Yae disappears, sending her out of the room, and out of the game.
"There you have it." Conner says. "Ten episodes in and The Flower Girl's become the first team to officially lose over half their team. Can they still recover? Maybe. But the other two teams are becoming more tight knit everyday. It's going take something shocking to break their morale. But of course, in this game anything's possible. So join us next time, right here on Total. Drama. Endless."