Total Drama Endless, Episode Eleven
...
There had been a sense of stillness in the Flower Girl's barrack ever since Yae had been eliminated. On the surface that might seem odd. Yae was never a very vocal woman, yet her loss had made an effect on the others. With her gone they had lost the majority of their team, officially sinking into last place. Something those that remained all found discouraging.
They had just gotten back from the elimination ceremony. The four remaining Flower Girls sit in a loose circle between Athena and Lapis's unused beds (Neither Gems nor Olympians require sleep to function it seems.) A pessimistic atmosphere hovering amongst them.
"I can't believe Yae's gone." Lapis says gloomily. "Not that we we're even close but…"
"But it makes you realizes how few of us are left." Peach finishes.
"Yeah."
"Yo Peachy? You got any positive vibes you can share?" Markus asks. "Like a quote or some excitement or something?"
"I'm terribly sorry Markus. But I think I'm running out of those."
She Markus and Lapis all sigh. Athena gives them a disproving look.
"That's enough you three. I will admit things are looking dire-"
"Ay yo things are dire." Markus insists. "I'm used to ever'body calling us Ladies and Markus. We lose a couple more of these we going be just Lady and Markus, or Ladies or some ****." He shutters. "Yo I ain't ready for that."
"I am determined to never let that happen Markus." Athena says assuredly. "Look, I'm not known for being the emotional goddess amongst the Olympians. That would be Aphrodite and everyone with a brain hates her for it. But I'm going to do something I normally wouldn't and be sincere with you all." She looks at them determinedly. "You are all some of the bravest mortals to have trained under me, and I am convinced none of you have made it this far by mistake. One of us here today is destine to emerge from these games victorious, I know it. But we will not know who until the end. As of the rest of us, we may not realize it yet, but it is our scared duty to accompany them as long as we can. The odds are not in our favour, it is true. The other teams have greater numbers than us. But battles are not simply won through numbers, but wisdom.
For this day forward we shall be a creature of four bodies and one mind. Whatever strength's you have I ask you to use and the others to support you. Together we outplay, outwit and outlast our appoints. But to do so we commit ourselves fully to this team. For if any of you cannot, I ask you to forfeit this tournament now."
Markus smiles and puts his hand forward.
"****** you know I'd never quit on you. You for real? I'm in. A hundred percent."
Peach puts her hand in too. "Let's go."
Lapis gives them a wry smile. "I still think we're doomed." She sighs resignedly. "But if we're going down. Might as well do it as a team. I'm in too."
She sticks her hand in the middle as does Athena.
"To the Flower Girls." She says.
"To the Flower Girls!" The others cry.
"May we never lose again!" Peach adds.
Cut to the Fact Hunter Barracks.
Elsewhere in the contestant's quarters there's further excitement brewing.
"Ah… I think this is it." Doof says, handing Rick a vial. Rick eyes it suspiciously.
"You sure your machine picked the right one doc?" He asks.
"I assure you. I have my full faith in the Potion-Sortinator." Doof says patting his new invention affectionately.
"Alright let's do it." Rick says. "Potion me bitch!"
Dipper takes the vial and pours its contents down Rick's throat. "How do you feel?" He asks.
Rick grumbles. "Literally nothing. Like absolutely **** all. Those people sold you some placebo bull **** or some hooOOOOOOOOO **** WAIT A MINUTE!" He twitches on of his fingers. "Oh ****! You seeing this?"
He laughs and flexes his arms, slowly at first, then bolder, stronger. Until he reaches around and breaks the casts off his arms and upper torso.
"YES!" He cries triumphantly. "**** everything! I'm back *************! I'm BAAAAACK!" He tries to pull himself out of his wheelchair. His legs twist under him and he fails to the floor, screaming in pain.
Dipper shrugs. "Well, it fixed his arms at least."
Rick continues howling in agony.
Cut to the Transporter room.
The next day the contestants gather for their challenge. As usual, their host Conner is waiting for them.
"Morning everyone." He says. "How's everyone doing today? Everyone ready for another fun filled day?"
"Yes daddy." Markus says gesturing to his team. "Me and my ladies, man we pumped for this ****. We gonna be on it today."
"That's what I'd like to hear Markus!" Conner says excitedly. "High five!"
"Can I take a hug instead?"
"Sure. Why not?"
The two men embrace for a few second.
"You're a good hugger." Markus says after he pulls away. Conner shrugs.
"Yes, thank you. Now to business everyone. CHEWIE!"
Chewbacca bursts through the door, stops in front of Team Short N Spunky, bows and holds out something to them. It looks to be an RC car or vehicle of some sort. One with three wheels, an acrylic dome over the cockpit and a red and white coat of enamel paint.
"Short N Spunky, here is your reward for coming in first place yesterday. I recommend hanging on to it. It should come in handy today."
Chewie roars edgerly and presents the little craft to them. Amethyst takes in uncertainly. "Uh thanks?" She says. In her hands the thing transforms into a beam of light, then disappears into her gemstone.
"Alright when everyone's ready we can get this show on the road." Says Conner, stepping out of the transporter array.
"You're not coming with us?" Peach asks.
"No. but I'll met you down there." He insists. "Jeremy! Fire away."
Jeremy let's out a loud gurgle then rolls over onto the button on his console, sending the teams off.
Cut to the Locale.
The contestants rematerialize a second later and find something horribly wrong. All around them is total darkness. What's more, there seems to be some heavy smothering force over them. The air, warm difficult to breath, and heavy with an inorganic chemical scene
"What the wrong with this place!?" Yao shouts, his voice muffled.
"I can't breathe!" Dipper yelps.
"Me neither." Cries Doof.
"Do you think something when wrong!?" Peach asks.
"Everyone calm the **** down!" Rick yells. "Conner must have sent us to a proto-dimensional space!"
"WHAT!?" Tomoko shrieks in horror.
"EVERYONE CHILL THE **** OUT!" Rick snaps. "You all need to conserve your air supplies. It's going to be alright. I'll be able to get us out of here."
They hear a distance thundering noise.
"W-wh-what is that!?" Tomoko stammers.
"**** that's a native entity!" Rick says. For once it sounds like even he's panicking. The rumbling get's closer. "EVERYONE PRAY TO YOUR GOD AND GET DOOOOWN!"
"AAAAH!"
Suddenly the dark shroud is lifted from them and they can all see and hear again. A young boy larger than a house beams down at them.
"Junior play!" He chirps at them
Most of the contestants scream in terror.
"Junior no! Those are the guests we we're talking about."
A normal sized boy stands atop the mighty toddler. He hops down and lands in from them. He looks to be about ten, with black hair, blue shorts and a red shirt with a large button sewn to the front.
"Alright, you guys seem like my kind of people." He says taking them all in. "It's not everyday I see eye to eye with a crowd."
"Rick?" Peach says uncertainly. "Is this one of native's you we're talking about? He looks like a boy."
"I am a boy." The boy says. "My name's George. George Shrinks. Welcome to my bedroom."
The group looks around properly now that they've adjusted to the change in light. They do in fact seem in a boy's bedroom, albeit one made for someone much larger. The shroud of darkness as it turns out was the blanket of the bed they're now standing on.
"Why do you live in a giant bedroom? Yao asks.
"Uh, guys? Maybe we've got this backwards." Dipper says. "Maybe it's not the room that's big. It's us that's shrunk."
George snaps and points at him. "What's your name?"
"Dipper Pines."
"Cool. I already like you Dipper." He turns to the others. "He's right. You're all my size. Three inches tall."
"That still doesn't explain the giant toddler." Roy says
"That's Junior, my younger brother." George says. "Nice kid, you'll love him trust me. He's got a big heart. The real question is what's up with your bird?"
They turn to look at Beatrice, who seems to be the only one still her normal size. She sighs.
"Great." She says. "Way to make me feel like more of a freak than I already am."
"A talking bird?" George whistles. "Man, they weren't kidding when they said you guys were an interesting bunch. Anyway, Mr O'Gleeson filled me in on everything. Today's statue hunt is more of a traditional challenge. One I like to call, A day in the life of George.
The rules are pretty simple. We've got a bunch of stuff to do around the house today, but the catch is of course, you'll be doing my way. With all my work arounds and gadgets and stuff."
"Wait? You mean gadgets like this?" Amethyst asks, pulling the RC out of her gem, it rematerializes as a full-sized vehicle. George's face lights up.
"Hey that's my Zoopercar!" He says. "Or an old spare my dad built is more like it. That's ought to help you guys a ton today!"
"Great!" Amethyst says grinning smugly at the other teams.
Lapis sighs irritably. "Ignore her." Athena says. "Our resolve has to be unbreakable to win."
"The Team that completes the most tasks successfully takes home the Golden Mclean today." George says. His brother scoops him up in his hands. "Your first challenge starts now; meet us down in the kitchen for tea and scones. Come on Junior, mush!"
The toddler giggle and waves to them. "Bye-bye!" He walks off with his older brother leaving the others to get started.
"How many people fit in that vehicle?" Bentley asks sizing up the Zoopercar.
"Looks like it's a one-seater." Tails says.
"It'll be fine!" Amethyst insists. Grabbing Yao, Bentley and Tomoko and shoving them into the thing. "You know how to drive it right Bentley?"
"Ah… Potentially. But I can't currently seem to move my arms properly."
"Doesn't matter! Let's go people! We've got a winning streak going and like heck if I'm breaking it tonight!"
Bentley (Who's currently pressed against the windshield of the little craft) Hits a button on the console. The Zoopercar jerks forward then soars off the bed. Tails zips after it. Amethyst sprouts a pair of twin fox tails herself and fallows after them. While this is all going on Athena turns to her team.
"Let's think of this logically." She says. "If this George boy sleeps in this bed every night, he'd have an easy method of getting down on hand."
"Like a paperclip zipline or some ****?"
"Hypothetically yes Markus."
"Uh, I didn't say anything about hypothetically."
He jerks his head over to the nightstand. There's a string tied to the hand of a toy robot that leads down to the ground. A box of paperclips sitting next to it.
"Nice Job Markus." Lapis says rushing over. She bends one of the paperclips into a hook then zips down to the floor, Athena and Markus follow suit.
"That was tight!" Markus says grinning. "Peachy ya'll need to try this."
"Just a moment!" She calls. She makes a hook and follows them down but her fingers slip and she falls.
"Peach!" Markus shouts.
Peach falls towards them. Suddenly her petticoat catches the air and she floats gracefully to the floor.
"Don't worry everyone, I'm alright."
"Does your dress do that regularly?" Athena asks.
"Yes. For quite some time now." Peach says. "Why? Is that useful?"
"It has potential to be." Athena says. "Now focus, we're losing time. Put yourself in that boy's shoes. You've just gotten out of bed, now what?"
"Get down stairs and grab some bacon." Markus answers. He pauses to think. "Man if I was this little ****** I'd probably hate taking the stairs. I'd want like a-a subway to get me places."
"Or a warp pipe." Peach suggests. She looks around and her eyes grow wide. "Like those over there!"
She leads them to the wall opposite of the bed. There's the entrances to a set of tubes embedded in the wall.
"Very good eye Princess." Athena says. "But which one we'll take us to the kitchen?"
"Allow me." Lapis says. She brushes past them and shoots down one. Only to remerge a second later. Soaring back up the tube with her water wings.
"Not that one." She says, ducking into the next pipe. Another second and she's back. "Or that one. No. Also no. YES!"
She shoots back up the fourth tube from the wall. "This is the one."
"You heard her." Peach says "Hurry."
She, and the other two lower themselves into the tube and take off after Lapis. They quickly find themselves whizzing through the walls of the house.
"Yo! This is fire!" Markus laughs "Just like those waterslides."
"Let's hope for a better exit this time." Athena says. A moment later the tube straightens out and they shoot out onto a cold linoleum floor. Just as they're getting up, the Zoopercar comes careening into the room.
"****! They're on our ass!" Markus shouts.
"Then climb quickly!" Athena points to a length of string leading up to the kitchen table.
They scurry up it as fast as they can. Lapis helping Peach (Who clearly doesn't have the same upper body strength of the others) They reach the top of string just as Short N Spunky is scrambling onto bottom. George is waiting for them in front of a scone.
"Way to go guys. You made it."
The Flower Girl's cheer.
"Yeah, nice job on the second place bitch!"
The ladies (And Markus) pause their celebrations. Rick Sanchez is smirking down at them perched on Beatrice's back. The rest of their team behind him.
"That's cheating at you know it!" Lapis snaps at them.
"Ah… Yeah guys." George says. "To be fair, I did say do things the George way, and I don't exactly have a bluebird lying around."
"Not a bluebird." Beatrice says. "I'm a girl cursed to be a bluebird."
George chuckles. "Well unfortunately. I don't have one of those lying around either."
Seated across the table a middle-aged woman with short hair and a turquoise shirt applauds.
"I think everyone did wonderfully for there first day being George sized." She says.
Peach bows to her. "Thank you." She turns to George. "And I do believe we haven't been properly introduced. I am Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom. These are my friends, Athena of Olympus, Lapis Lazuli of Homeworld, and Markus of Ladera Heights, California."
"Yeah I'm the normal one." Markus says. He laughs. "…Which is like completely the **** opposite of how it's supposed to go."
"Nice to meet you guys." George says. He points to the woman. "This is my mom by the way, she's an artist. Dad should be here soon. Hey Dad!"
"Coming Georgy boy!" A voice calls from the other room. A man walks into the kitchen. His dark hair is done up in an updo that pairs well with his thick goatee. He's wearing a black suit with a loud red and yellow bowtie.
"Hon? Have you seen my other bowtie? The one with the music notes on it?"
"Harold, why are you in your best suit?" His wife asks.
"For our out-of-town guests of course!" Harold says "I figured them coming all this way to visit was something of a special occasion." He spots the contestants on the table and his face lights up. "Well hey! Why didn't you tell me they were here already?"
The door bell rings, Mrs Shrinks gets up from the table. "That'll be our regular sized guest." She leaves the room and returns a second later she returns with Conner. He's wearing a causal brown leather jacket, T-shirt and blue jeans.
"Contestants, welcome to the Shrinks House!" Conner says. "Congratulations on making it down to the first floor."
"Hey. What happened to your suit?" Harold asks a little indignantly. "What's with the causal duds?"
"What? It's a causal episode." Conner says defensively. "I thought we agreed to that in our phone conversation."
Harold sighs and walks off to change.
"Anyway, like I was saying everyone. Nice job making it through the first challenge." Conner continues. "Fact Hunters officially have the first point. George you want to tell these lovely folks what their second challenge is?"
"Sure Conner. Like Dad said, all of you coming to visit is something of a special occasion for us Shrinks. So how's about a picnic in the garden to celebrate? Catch is I'm gonna half to ask a favour and have you guys be the one's to make the food."
"Well considering it's part of the challenge, we don't really have a choice." Dipper says with a shrug.
"Ah come on Dipper. Don't think of it that way." George says. He points to recipe book on the kitchen counter. "There's three recipes in there for you guys to prepare. To make things fair, the first team that got here get's the hard one, last team get's the easy one, and middle team, get's the middle. Pretty simple right?" The contestants nod. "Good." He turns to Conner. "It seems like your friends are all quick learners."
"Well after all I've thrown at them I should hope so." Conner chuckles. He and the Shrinks family walk away leaving the contestants to their task.
Beatrice flutters over to the recipe book, and grabs the cards and spills them onto the kitchen table.
"What do we have?"
"Super Triple Decker Everything-But-The-Kitchen-Sink Sandwiches." Dipper reads from the card.
"What's in it?" Beatrice asks. Dipper squints.
"Everything but the kitchen sink by the looks of it."
Indy grumbles. "So it's a Dagwood sandwich. Great. How do they except us to make those at our size?"
Dipper opens his mouth to reply, but his words are drowned out by a prolonged squeal of delight from the direction of the Flower Girls. The others turn to see Peach holding her team's recipe and grinning ear to ear.
"What is it?" Lapis asks. Peach wordlessly shows her the card. Lapis raises an eyebrow. "Cupcakes?"
"It's like they made this challenge especially for me!" Peach beams, briming with more excitement they've seen from her since her personality change.
Behind her something on Amethyst's face seem to suggest the opinion that Peach's enthusiasm is a bad omen.
"Please tell me we got something really easy." She says.
"It looks like we're making lemonade." Tails reads.
Amethyst wipes her brow in relief. "Okay, phew. Lemonade, thank goodness…." She turns to Tails. "That's easy to make right."
…
Some time later the teams are busying themselves with the challenge. Princess Peach is clearly in her element. She's perched atop a cook book conducting her teammates like they were an orchestra while Athena and Lapis lunge around heavy baking supplies.
"Yes, that's it Lapis! That's just enough flour. Athena! No! We not a quarter teaspoon of baking soda, and two teaspoons of baking powder. Not the other way around."
"We're on a time limit princess, must it really matter?"
"Who's the baking expert here?"
Athena looks away awkwardly. "You."
Peach nods. "That's right."
Athena does as she's told and remeasures the ingredients, while Lapis hovers two eggs into the bowl in a pocket of tap water from the sink. She cracks them into their mixing bowl.
"There." Peach says happily. "That's our batter. Now on to the mixing. I'd used a spoon but it seems George has this lovely little device instead." She hops down from her book and reaches down into a drawer. Pulling out a pair of pedal powered egg beaters. "Markus do you think you can use these?"
Markus flashes a boyish grin. "Uh, have I biked every city in America?"
Peach gives him a confused look.
"That's Markus talk for yes." He clarifies.
Meanwhile beneath to them, The Fact Hunters are standing on the floor with the Shrink's fridge while open, Beatrice pulling seemingly all it's contents out onto the kitchen table.
"Please tell me that's everything." She says.
Dipper checks the recipe. "I think we still need the capers, Bree, and Chinese figs. And the pickles, forgot to mention those.
Beatrice sighs contemptuously and flutters back over to the fridge. Dipper rereads the card, nods and carefully folds in and leaves it propped against a coffee mug. "You know it's kind of fun being small again." He says glancing around the giant kitchen appreciatively.
Indy gives him a look. "What do you mean this has happened to you before?"
"Yup, and the crazy part is It's not even remotely the strangest thing I've been through."
"I turned myself into a micro-organism once." Doof says. "And on a separate occasion, a platypus."
"I turned myself into a pickle." Rick says causally.
"We're aware. You spend your first night here screeching about it over and over again in a drunken stupor." Roy says.
"In my defensive it probably was funny at the time." Rick says. "What about you? What's something crazy you've done?"
"You don't need to know what I get up to." Roy says with a smirk.
Rick smirks back. "Nice copout. What about you Jones?"
Indy scratches his neck hesitantly. "Where to begin? I broke up a Thuggee cult, fought the Germans for the Ark of Covenant, then found the grail with my dad. And that's just the first three that come to mind."
All eyes turn to Wednesday.
"Her I really don't need to know about." Indy says.
"I burned a little blonde girl my age alive then watched a serial killer electrocute herself until there was nothing left a pile of ash and her little credit cards." Wednesday says pleasantly. Indy sighs
"And yet somehow none of that surprises me."
"I think I prefer Dipper's story over that." Lenny says.
"Yeah, no ****." Rick says with a glance down at the boy. "That another Gravity Falls story?"
"The being small thing?" Dipper asks. "Of Course. Where else would something like that happens besides this game?"
He goes silence for a second, seeming deep in thought.
"Hey Rick…"
"What?"
Dipper looks away in embarrassment. "Actually, it's nothing."
Rick smirks again. "Need some on the ladies huh Dipper?"
"What!? No! No… Not now anyway. We can psychoanalyse my redirecting my crush on Wendy to Beatrice another time. It's just…. Well, I've been theorizing about some stuff and… Whom I kidding? You're gonna think it's dumb."
"Hey, don't beat yourself Dipper." Rick says "This a new relationship we got remember? N-n-not gonna lie you had a real **** resume. But your references were good enough to get into Club Rick-Takes-Your-Opinions-Seriously. And you should be proud of that. Not a lot of people get into that one. We've got a real tough bouncer out front. Now tell me about this theory?"
Dipper hesitates. "Okay, how to phrase this where I don't sound crazy. I think I remember too much of Gravity Falls."
For once Rick looks confused. "How the **** does that happen?"
"Look." Dipper says urgently. "I know it was just a couple months ago and it was really crazy and life changing, but it was only three months of my life, and it's almost I call remember from before we got here. Like, everything about back home in Piedmont…" He struggles to articulate himself for a moment. "… I don't know. It's like I can remember it, but it takes a moment, like I can't just recall what my parents look like. I have to process a mental picture of them first. Like I'm making them up in the moment even they're my folks and I see them everyday. Am I making sense?"
"Not really kid."
"Try it then." Dipper insists. "Try and remember something in your life. Something that should be obvious."
Rick half heartly takes his suggestion. Thinking of the people one could generously call "close" to him. At first everything seems normal then…
He opens in eyes in alarm and curse softly.
"Why can't I remember my wife better?" He says surprised. "Holy *** Morty you might have stumbled into something."
"Thanks." Dipper says. "But uh, why do you keep calling me Morty?"
"He's my grandson. I go on a lot of adventures with him, it's a force of habit." Rick says quickly. "Anyway like I was saying, I-I'll admit there not much to go on, but you're right, between this and Peach's dissociative identity performance and it sounds like there might me some deeper level mind games going on around here. Got to hand it to you, this might be a real rabbit hole you found here Morty-I mean Dipper. ****!"
A loud crash behind them takes them out of there conversation. Mrs Shrinks comes back into the room to find a smashed jar of pickles on the floor, and Beatrice staring up at her guiltily.
"In my defense it didn't look that heavy." She says.
Mrs Shrinks smiles understandingly. "That's okay. Just as long as you leave my kitchen as clean as you found it when you're done." She says.
Beatrice looks concerned. "Knowing this group that might be hard."
Mrs Shrinks chuckles softly then walk over to her counter to inspect Short N Spunky. Tails's is piloting the Zoopercar now, which (to their very pleasant surprise) they've discovered also functions as a helicopter. He hoists a glass jug into the air with a metal claw protruding from the bottom of the craft.
"How are things over here?" Mrs Shrinks asks. "Do you need a hand with that? I'd like to see to it that not everything in my kitchen's broken by the end of the day."
Behind them they hear something else fall out of the fridge and shatter.
"You can count on us ma'am." Tails assures her.
"Yeah, no worries, Tail's has got this." Amethyst says. She Bentley, Yao and Tomoko are supervising from the counter. Mrs Shrinks looks down at them in surprised.
"Oh my, even for people George's size you're all so tiny."
"That may true, but we have more than enough ways to make up for our size." Bentley says.
"Yeah. We're the best team." Amethyst says causally.
"The greatest team of all time! Short N Spunky!" Tomoko says passionately.
"Yeah, or the Shorty Squad." Amethyst grins. "I kinda like that name too."
Mrs Shrinks smiles to herself. "You know, I think you've given me an idea for a project."
"You mean we've inspired you?" Tails asks.
"It's hard not be when you have so many wonderful little guests staying over." She says. "We're all enjoying having you here. Harold especially."
Cut to Mr Shrinks.
Conner, Harold Shrinks, Conner, and some of the crew have gathered In Harold's studio, a room filled with bizarre metal horns and instruments.
"Alright, boys!" He says. "Let's take it from the top."
Chewbacca growls.
Yerdey begins sticking and unsticking his tentacled forearm to a brass tuba.
Jeffrey disinterestedly turns the crank of a miniature pepper shaker, grinding its contents onto the floor.
Chewbacca growls.
Conner starts beatboxing.
Harold plays one of horns.
"Ha, ha! Yeah! Great sound boys!"
"Peter!" Conner shouts between beats. "Sing something, spit us some rhythms."
"Come and get your love!"
"No Redbone!"
"Come on! Who doesn't love Redbone!?"
"Peter sing us something more fifties not seventies."
Peter sighs. "Alright. Mr Shrinks, take it from the top and up the tempo."
The other resumed there beat, a little faster this time. Peter takes a breath.
Well I'm-a write a little letter
I'm gonna mail it to my local D.J.
Yeah and it's a jumpin' little record
I want my jockey to play
Roll over Beethoven
I gotta hear it again today
Mr Shrink gives him a thumbs up then switches instruments.
You know my temperature's risin'
The jukebox's blowin' a fuse
My heart beatin' rhythm
And my soul keep-a singing the blues
Roll over Beethoven
And tell Tchaikovsky the news
Mr Shrinks finishes things off with a long solo.
"Hey, hey! That's was out this world fellas. Ha, ha, uh… I think it's already been done a couple times though."
Yerdey shrugs.
"Take it from the top!"
Cut to the kitchen.
The Flower Girl's stand in front of a platter of perfect looking cupcakes. Peach regards them with a lovestruck look normally reserved for the mothers of newborns.
"I've never been so proud of my own creation." She breathes.
"Nice work ladies."
George flies into the room in his own Zoopercar (The one in all likelihood Short N Spunky's model is a copy of.) He lands out on the counter besides them and hops out.
"…and Markus."
"Yo, I was wondering if this little ****** was gonna say it." Markus beams.
"Fact Hunters, Short N Spunky. You're dishes also look uh…edible." George says, with a glance at the Fact Hunters sloppily put together sandwiches and the pitcher of lemonade with a toy crane floating in it.
"How did that happen?" George asks starring at the crane.
"It's uh… a garnish?" Tails lies.
"Yeah, we're real fancy like that." Yao adds gruffly.
George looks skeptical for a moment then shake his head.
"Never mind. There're points for presentation, but the main thing's what it tastes like at the panic. Which brings me to your next challenge."
"Don't tell me we have to bring our food outside ourselves?"
"Winner, winner, chicken dinner, Dipper."
Dipper groans. They look out the kitchen window at the Shrink's large backyard. There's a blanket laid out maybe fifteen metres away, which feels far farther at their size.
"That's impossible." Indy says.
"Nothing's impossible Dr Jones." George says. "I do stuff like this everything, and there's only one of me. You've got seven friends to help you.
First team there wins a point, but careful not the spill your dish. If it doesn't make it to the picnic for us to taste that's two challenges you lose for the price of one. Right. Now last one to picnic's a rotten egg!"
He gets back in his car and with the push of a button transforms it into a plane and flies off.
"After him!" Amethyst shouts, corralling some of her own team into their Zoopercar. Soon as Bentley, Yao and Tomoko are cramped in awkwardly the little vehicle grabs their lemonade with its claw and flies out of the room.
Markus turns to Athena.
"Aight going back to that whole being smart about this thing, how to we keep up with those *******?"
"That's very simple Markus." Athena smiles. "You and Peach ask me politely."
"Yeah uh…" His eye's go wide. "Oh!" He grins. "My bad. What I meant to say is, I pray that you'd able to help a ****** out again."
Athena smiles.
Cut to the floor.
Blessed with newfound Olympian strength the four Flower Girl's hurry across the kitchen with their giant platter of cupcakes.
"Careful with our creations everyone!" Peach cries. "I'm not certain I'd be emotionally prepared to see them go to waste."
"Have faith Peach. We're getting them to that banquet without a sparkle out of place." Athena assures her.
They jog out the backdoor and onto to the backstep. The lawn before them is damp and muddy, far from favorable terrain.
"Lapis could you be a dear and help with this?" Peach asks.
Lapis nods. "I'm on it."
She raises a hand and the water's sucked from the earth and into the air. Leaving the ground dry and hard. She lets the water hover in the air a moment before sending in whizzing behind them, where it hits the Fact Hunter's. Knocking them off their feet.
"We're sorry!" Peach calls back to them.
Lapis laughs. "I'm not!"
Rick spits out a fountain of water then looks at their own platter of food.
"Anyone want to tell me why all of those four have super strength now?"
"Divine intervention." Indy says grimly, he turns to Rick and smirk. "So Rick. You're so good at winning challenges. Tell us what we need to do to beat them?"
"Same way we did the last two challenges. Beatrice!"
"Yeah… No. I'm not big enough to carry that." She says with glance at the large platter of food.
"What about Lenny?" Dipper suggests.
"No good, we'd need two of him." Rick says.
"We do have two of him." Wednesday says.
Rick spins around and stares at her. "What!?"
Wednesday smirks then nods to Roy. He cracks his knuckles and sighs.
"Well I was saving this particular embarrassment of Sanchez for a special occasion. But if you insists… "
He pulls away from them and transforms. His crystalline armour overtaking him again, this time more than before. It grows and grow until is he's a towering knight of orange crystal lording over the others.
"That's right Rick! Look upon your superior and weep! AhaHAHA-"
"Hey George! Who's you friends?"
A normal sized ten-year-old girl has wandered into the backyard. Roy still barely reaches her shin.
George flies over to them. "Hey Becky! I'd to meet the Fact Hunters. Say hi guys!"
Roy ego deflates like a balloon. He shrinks back down to normal size and removes his armour. He looks extremely upset.
"Do you want to talk about this?" Wednesday asks.
Roy mutely shakes his head.
"Good." She says. "Neither do I."
A few minutes later the Shorty Squad lower their pitcher of lemonade onto the picnic table, followed closely by the Flower Girls and their cupcakes, then distantly by The Fact Hunter, slowly and difficultly carrying their heavy platter as a group.
George zooms over head, waving a checkered flag.
"Team Shorty N Spunky win the second challenge!"
Short N Spunky cheer and high five one another.
Mrs Shrinks walks out of the house, carrying Junior. "Is everyone having fun?"
"Lots." Wednesday says flatly staring loathingly at the Shorty Squad.
"Wonderful!" Mrs Shrinks places Junior down on the picnic blanket. "I'll be out to join you soon, I just need finish my project first. Harold will join you in the meantime." She looks around. "That is if he's around."
A loud commotion draws their attention to the house. Mr Shrinks marches out the front door, Conner, Jeffrey, Peter, Yerdey parade out after him. All five of them playing his horns.
"Harold!" Mrs Shrinks says with a smile. "Isn't this a pleasant surprise."
Mr Shrinks looks up from his horn. "Hey there! Uh sorry about the delay. I've been teaching our guests to play my instruments. I think Chewie's really getting the hang of it."
Chewbacca stands in the doorway with a triangle. He taps it once then roars happily.
"Now, who's ready for a little bite to eat?" He laughs. "Get it? Because- ha…"
He trails off then sits down with the staff. George's friend Becky walks over to join them, she's a brown skinned girl with dark hair, tan shirt and blue pants.
"Who made the cupcakes?" Harold asks.
"We did." Peach beams. "I'm very happy with them."
"As you should be! They look mighty fine!" Harold says. "But… They are for after lunch now aren't, they Junior?"
He wags a finger at his youngest son, who had been reaching for the desserts.
"Upcakes!" He squeaks.
"How about a little lemonade instead?" Conner asks.
He pours a glass for the Shrinks, Becky and his staff and takes a sip. Everyone expects Yerdey immediately does a spit take.
"Not bad." He says impressed.
"Not bad?!" Conner shouts incredulously. "You kidding me? It tasted you someone dumped a bucket of salt in this."
Amethyst seems to suddenly realize something.
"Ooooooh." She says. "Uh that might be because someone dumped a bucket of salt in that thing."
Everyone looks at her.
"What? It looks like sugar alright? Don't judge me."
"Moving along to the Sandwiches…" Harold says, taking one and passing the others out. Peter takes a bite of his sandwich and makes a strange face.
"Are there… marshmallows in this?" He asks.
"Of course!" Harold says. "They're part of the recipe. Give it another try."
Peter takes another bite and seem to consider. "Huh." He says after a second. "Weird."
Harold takes a bite as well. "Hmm indeed." He takes another one. "Not bad. Little soggy, and you forgot the pickles."
Rick slaps his forehead.
"Told you he'd notice." Beatrice whispers.
"Alright Junior, now we can have our cupcakes." George says.
His brother squeals in delight as Harold hands out the pastries. "Let's hope they taste as good as they look." Harold says.
Peach rings her hands nervous as the Picnic guest taste her precious creations. A chorus happy groans reaches her ears.
"Mmm. Delicious, you guys. Nice job." Becky says.
"A meal fit for a Princess!" Harold proclaims.
Chewbacca grows happily.
"I think the mms have it." George says. "The best picnic food goes to the Flower Girls and their cupcakes!"
Markus and the ladies cheer.
"That leaves things tied up with one point for each team." Conner adds.
"Right, you are Conner." George says. "Which means it's time to bust out the tie breaker."
"Whatever it we are prepared for it." Athena says.
"Yeah? Well so are we!" Dipper says.
"Us too!" Tomoko shouts.
George hops up on top of his Zoopercar and points to the backend of yard. "See that? That's mom's vegetable garden. Her veggies are normally ripe to pick right about now, so your last challenge of the day will be to pick us a nice ear of corn from the top of the plant."
"And no knocking the stem down!" Harold adds. "Perdita takes her gardening very seriously."
"Also, no Zoopercars or Beatrices or any flying this time." Conner adds. "This one entirely depends on your being a tiny person skills. Now away with you! Your host demands corn!"
There's no need to tell them twice, before he's even finished speaking all three teams are off running towards the garden.
Short N Spunky reach the corn stalks first.
"So what? Should I do this?" Amethyst asks.
"I'll do it!" Tomoko volunteers!
Yao chuckles. "No need ladies. Find me a couple pebbles and some grass. I'll show you something I learned in the imperial army."
The Flower Girl's arrive at the plant next to them.
"Peach, this is up to you." Athena says immediately.
Peach blinks in confusion. "Oh? It is?"
Athena nods. "I see a way to harness your useful potential." She whispers something in her ear. Peach smiles.
The Fact Hunter arrive behind them.
"So. Roy." Rick says. "How's about a chance to redeem yourself."
"I'll pass." Roy says bitterly.
"I'll go then." Wednesday says.
"Great!" Dipper says. "What do you want us to do?"
"Stay out of the way." She says nimbly starting her way up the stalk.
"Oh. Uh.. Okay." He turns to Rick. "Want to go for a walk?"
Rick shrugs. "I mean not much of a walk when you can't use your legs but sure, what the hell?"
They wander off away from the others, further into the garden. The place is alive with insects, plant life, and other normal things made wonderous by there small statue.
"So…" Rick says. "We really **** the bed today huh Morty?"
"No kidding." Dipper says. "I'm actually kind of worried we're going to lose again."
"It's not a matter of if it's a matter of when." Rick replies. "God, what am I gonna tell Doof? I promised him we wouldn't lose again."
"Ah… well. Maybe it would be all bad getting rid of someone."
"Yeah, no ****. This team's got a lot of fat to trim." Rick says grumpily. "I mean ****. The Indiana Jones movies we're alright, but **** me if the guy can't adapt to the 21st century. I'm ready to axe his whole possie. Jones, Wednesday, What's his name, Beatrice-"
"Maybe not Beatrice!" Dipper says quickly. Rick looks at him, Dipper grins awkwardly. "I-I I mean I think she's useful. Don't you think?"
Rick rolls his eyes. "Jesus kid, there's more fish in the sea." He takes his flask out of his coat. "Never get attached to one person, that's the Rick method."
Dipper laughs. "Really? That's the Rick method?"
"Yes." Rick says firmly.
Dipper shakes his head.
"You know Rick, I haven't just been thinking about this weird memory gap thing. I've also had a lot of time to think about you and us. Specifically, why you we're such a jerk to me before."
Rick eyes him suspiciously. "Yeah?"
"I've been comparing you this whole time to my Uncle Ford, because you we're an outlaw with him. But behavior wise you're way more like my Uncle Stan. Stan was a massive jerk to people to but eventually I realized he was doing to hide his true feelings. Secretly he cares about the people in his life, like you do Rick."
Rick's expression ossifies into a featureless mask. Dipper's unperturbed by this however as he's too deep in his explaining.
"You always talk about things not meaning anything." He continues. "That everything's worthless. You're the Rickest Rick of them all, and you don't care about anyone else. But that's your dark secret. You do care. You're afraid what someone if they found out but it's true. You depend on the people in your life like your grandson, the same way I depend on my twin Sister Mabel." He chuckles. "That's why you keep calling me Morty. I'm a surrogate for grandson back home you're insecure about your affection for."
He shrugs.
"Face it Rick, I think you needed me."
Rick reminds still for a long while, starring emotionlessly at Dipper.
"Nice theory you got there kid." He says stiffly.
Dipper grins awkwardly. "Yeah, sorry I might have got a little personal there."
"It's fine." Rick says. He causally reaches into his lab coat and pulls something out. A handheld device with a green bulb Dipper hasn't seen in a while.
"Whoa, wait?" He says. "I thought you broke your portal gun back on Mobius?"
"Trust me kid, it's lot tougher than the portal your uncles built. Hey speaking of, you mentioned that was unrepairable right?"
"Yeah but…" Dipper eye's grow wide. "Uh... wait a minute Rick. We can talk about this…"
"No point kid." Rick says. "I'm sure your uncles will understand."
Dipper turns to run but Rick's quicker on the draw. He fires his gun and Dipper's sucked into the green portal that appears under his feet. He presses a button on the gun and the portal vanishes taking the Dipper with it. Rick's face warps into a twisted smile.
"…understand THAT I DON'T NEED ANYONE, BITCH!" He cackles triumphantly. "**** YOU! YOU LITTLE ****! RICK SANCHEZ DOESN'T GIVE A **** ABOUT ANYONE!"
He continues on like this for a while. Cursing and laughing vengefully at the empty spot of dirt where the boy who trusted him stood moments before.
Cut to the others.
Beyond the insects, leaves and ears of corn. The day's final challenge in essence isn't far removed from climbing a rope in gym class.
Yao is making surprising progress. He's tied two stones to his hand and have swung them around the other side of the stem like a counter weight. The two ladies and lagging behind him, Peach especially.
"Having trouble?" Wednesday calls down to her.
"Not at all." She puffs. "As a matter of fact, I'm quite enjoying myself."
"Good." Wednesday says softly. She reaches the top of her plant and kicks loose an ear of corn. She gives Peach a moment to catch up and pluck her own ear of corn free. Wednesday smirks at her. "I'm glad you had fun. You'll can tell your friends that in the elimination room."
Peach giggles. "I'm sorry. But you'll have to tell them for me." She takes a great leap and hurls herself from the plant. Her skirt catches the air like a parachute and lands back in front of her team far faster than Wednesday could climb down. The Flower Girls high five and run off. Wednesday looks mortified. "No!" She shouts. Scrambling down the stalk as fast as she can, almost falling several times. By the time she hits the bottom, The Flower Girls are halfway back to the Picnic blanket and Yao's already on the ground next to her.
"Hello you." Lenny says. "How was your climb? I noticed Peach seems to be using her classic-"
"No time!" Wednesday snaps, grabbing the giant corn cob. "After them!"
The Fact Hunter's break into a desperate sprint but it's not even close. By the time they get back to the picnic the Flower Girls are already celebrating.
"Flower Girls take first place!" Conner shouts. "They win their first solo victory since the first episode!"
The Shrinks cheer and applaud. Athena and Lapis smile and nod to one another, as Peach and Markus dance around happily. Wednesday glares at them viciously.
"Well…" Indy says scratching his neck. "At least it's only second place."
"About that…" Conner says. "Fact Hunters I can't help but notice you're missing Rick and Dipper, meaning…" They watch as team Short N Spunky cross on the blanket. "…That for the second time ever, the Fact Hunter have lost!"
Short N Spunky cheers. Doofenshmirtz drops to his knees in despair. Wednesday somehow looks even more enraged.
"Now can I kill Rick?" She asks in a low furious voice.
Indy scowls. "I'll flip you for the honour."
"GUYS!"
Then turn to see Rick wheeling towards them as fast as his chair permits. He looks gravely destressed.
"You better have an amazing excuse for this!" Beatrice snaps at him. "We just lost because of you!"
"That doesn't matter!" He shouts. "Dippers gone!"
The other look shocked. "What!?"
"Something got him." Rick pants. "Something ran after him and he bolted. Bolted right ouf of there. Big animal or something. Like a cat. I don't know."
George looks concerned. "Wait? Was this this cat orange."
"Uh… yeah sure."
"Oh no." George says. "That's Sparkle Tangerine, the neighbourhood stray." He sighs. "I was hopping he wouldn't cause us any trouble today."
He run over to his Zoopercar and hops in. "Don't worry about Dipper. We'll find him won't we dad?"
"Right we will Georgy Boy!" Harold says. "You folks can count on us."
"That's alright you two." Conner says suddenly. "I'll let my crew handle this. In the meantime, why don't we send these guys back to the ship?"
Conner's starring curiously at Rick. For the first time they can remember theirs something resembling anger lingering in his features.
George sighs again. "Well… It's been fun guys. Sorry it had to end on a low note."
"Any of you ever want to stop by again, we'd love to have you." Harold says. "Best of luck with the rest of the game."
Junior waves at them. "Bye-Bye."
Conner nods to Chewie and the Wookie presses a button on a remote. The tiny contestants disappear in beam of light.
Cut to the Elimination room.
Several hours later the Fact Hunters trickle into the elimination room. When they arrive Conner's waiting for them. He looks uncharacteristically solemn.
"Everyone please take a seat." He says. "This will be short."
"Did you find Dipper?" Lenny asks.
Conner nods.
"We know where it is. Unfortunately, due to regrettable circumstance he will no longer be participating in this game."
The Fact Hunter's turn to each other surprise. Rick does his best to mimic their confusion.
"Fortunately." Conner continues. "I've decided that since you're already down a contestant tonight, there's no need for you to another one."
"In that case can we go then?" Roy asks.
"That you may!" Conner says. "You're all free to return to your bunks and get some rests. However… I'd strongly suggest perhaps being a little more carefully from now on. Especially you Rick."
"What does that mean?" Beatrice asks suspiciously.
"Yeah what Conner?" Rick says. "What are you implying?"
"Good night contestants." Conner says gesturing them out. They march out of the room, looking suspicious of the host and each other. Conner closes the door behind them and turns to the camera.
"I know what Rick did." He says bluntly.
"And before you ask, Dipper's fine. Rick sent him back to his home in Piedmont, California, Where I was able to catch up with him after he vanished. And yes, he really is out of the game for good.
You might be wondering why I'm allowing such a bold challenge to my authority. Because I could easily punish him for this." He laughs.
"I could bring down the law hard and fast. Disqualifying Sanchez and bringing back Dipper. But I'm not going to. Why? Well.. it's not because I don't care about the integrity. I'm not Chris, and trust me, it Rick or anyone else rigs the vote or pulls at stunt like this again I'll be far less forgiving. No the reason's because I can see the path Rick's going down and believe me, it'll be much crueller… and better television... to keep Rick in this game. At least… As long as he can last, because if I know the Fact Hunters, then that might not be very long.
How long? Maybe you'll find out next time. Right here, on Total Drama Endless."