Chapter 003 Part 1:
Ace was objectively better than you
(or why aren't there any Logias around here?)

(Insert Name Here) was busy being bored out of her mind in the interrogation room when she heard a commotion outside. Being the curious four-year-old-but-not-really that she was, she decided to investigate, since they hadn't actually handcuffed her to the table like in the movies.

Surprisingly, there wasn't a policeman outside just waiting to kick her back into the room, which she counted as a win. There was some shouting from one side of the corridor, so she simply went there.

Now, you may think that going towards the noise and thus, the people, would make sneaking around harder. What you fail to account for is that the key to sneaking is to not sneak at all. You have to be confident that you belong there, and everyone will just assume that you know what you're doing.

Of course, D's plan may have failed to account that part of said strategy relied on looking like you belong, something that her four-year-old body covered in civilian clothing didn't do in a police station. But she had the brain of a child, so she was excused from making the mistakes of one.

"God daaamiiiit! Quit lookin' down on me, bastards! I hate all you damn cops! I'm gonna off myself and take you all down while I do it!"

This torrent of shouts, D soon found out, came from a man with a belt of dynamite and a bomb for a head surrounded by hesitant policemen. Obviously a suicide bomber, but possibly a Bomb Human? She knew the Bomb-Bomb Fruit let any part of your body explode like a bomb, but maybe he ate it and found a new way to use it. After all, Devil Fruit Users didn't get stronger, they got creative.

"Talk about bad luck for him! He chose the worst day to storm here! All the top heroes are gathered together!"

Thank you for the exposition, fellow policeman. Considering the insane ramblings of the Bomb Human that followed that statement, she didn't think he cared though.

"Hmph… 'Suicide Bomb'?" a man that was beginning to set himself on fire said. "Makes no difference to me! I'll burn you down to ash in an instant!"

She considered what he said, looked over to the Bomb Human and all his fuses, and concluded she was about to die. She quite liked being alive, so she decided she was not going to die. This decision resulted in her rushing the Bomb Man alongside the Fire Man, directly towards ground zero, obviously.

Now, you might be asking, what the hell was she doing? Well, it was quite simple, really. That man on fire had clearly eaten the Fire-Fire Fruit and was a Logia like Ace. If she copied his ability, then she would be safe from the fire and the explosion. Thus, she tackled the flaming man.

The man did not care for this fact, nor the fact that she was suddenly on fire, and still tried to punch the Bomb Man.

"Aizawa!" a woman shouted behind them.

Possibly-Aizawa somehow wrapped a bandage around the bomber and pulled, taking the bomber backwards and towards a woman who for some reason just pulled her shirt open to show off her chest. Said chest bearing woman put the bomber's head inside her cleavage, and this somehow managed to calm him down.

D considered what happened, shrugged, and decided it wasn't the weirdest course of action to defeat an opponent she had seen.

She was still clinging to proto-Ace and was surprised that she could even touch a Logia. Maybe because she copied their fruit and the invulnerability canceled out? Did that work between all Logias, or only the same type?

"Tch!" The now non-flaming man looked down to her. "What are you even doing kid?!"

"Trying not to die in the crossfire?" she offered. "You were about to explode a person and I was near."

"So what? You were trying to stop me from killing him?" he mocked in a condescending tone, as if she could even do that. "He would have killed himself and exploded anyways."

"No, I wanted to be made of fire so I didn't die too." she clarified, and promptly combusted again.

The red-haired man didn't appreciate her demonstration, if him shaking his leg to get her off was any indication. She let go because it was the polite thing to do, and only now realized the shirt of his arm and the pant leg she was hugging had been burnt off. Which shouldn't happen according to Oda, because it was gratuitous nudity to have Logias destroy their clothing every time they transformed into their element to evade attacks.

Wait, was she naked now?! She looked down at herself, and sighed in relief when they were only scorched black. How lucky, that could have been bad.

The perpetually scowling man looked down at her waiting for an explanation, but she simply blew a raspberry at him while also breathing fire. His face was now on fire, but he didn't seem to mind. In fact, he now had a flaming beard, which made his scowl even more impressive.

"You're lame, your fire burns your own clothing. Ace's fire doesn't do that." She informed him. "You're just a worse Ace. Bye."

She then ran out of the police station and set her feet on fire. Her shoes ceased to exist and she began to sprint in a random direction.

Her thoughts were mostly on trying to increase her speed through the power of fire, but she only really accomplished making holes into the asphalt. Mmh… maybe if she really powers it up she could…?

Suddenly, she was in the air and above the trees with a flaming leg. It was curious to see a man with exhaust pipes in his arms running in her direction while a man wearing jeans and a jean jacket traveling on possibly jean threads spidermaned his way towards her. That curiosity died when she realized she was falling.

She thought about how rockets functioned, and decided to explode the air into submission until it allowed her to fly. This, unfortunately, only resulted in her going above the buildings and she began falling again. She touched her chin and started thinking on how to solve this, ignoring how her everything was on fire again.

Obviously, expelling a full flamethrower out of her legs would only take her higher, which would postpone and worsen the problem. So the key was on a lesser flamethrower. Yes, one that emitted only enough energy to counteract the force of gravity but not enough to take her higher, allowing her to remain in place.

She tried to do so and ended up even higher, and now she began to realize she had only "a little fire" or "all the fire" in her settings, which wasn't ideal.

As she pondered on what to do, Jean Man was helping proto-Ace by giving him platforms on which to jump and was slowly ascending towards her. This should have been good for her, but she was busy thinking on how Ace could definitely move in fire form and kinda fly, and this proto-Ace was even worse than she thought.

He finally reached and caught her, so she decided to inform him of this fact.

"Ace could fly in his fire form. I could boost myself and just did a triple jump. You are not lame, you're super lame."

He did not appreciate the comment, but also didn't drop her to her death, so she wasn't complaining… in a way.

"You probably can't fly because you're heavy and an adult, but you could simply try harder. Do you even try at all? You could at least train a little." she 'encouraged' him.

They eventually jumped and reached the ground, both engulfed in fire. For some reason, they were not on fire for a second, but then the flames came back with a vengeance in a soaring inferno. How queer, wonder why that happened.

"Ingenium! Bring me my costume and one of my fireproof blankets from my agency!" he shouted towards Engine Guy. "And tell Eraserhead to keep his eyes away! None of our clothing was fireproof!"

Oh yeah, she was naked now, wasn't she? She would feel ashamed, but she hadn't even hit her puberty in this body, so she really didn't care. She tried to wiggle her way out of the man's grasp, but he had her in a firm hold.

"And where do you think you're going?" she thought he glared, but with all the fire it was hard to tell. "You have a lot to answer for, do you even know how many things you set on fire?! All the property damage you caused?!"

D thought about it, noticed how he didn't mention any civilian injuries, and promptly ceased to care. Instead, she continued her previous line of thought.

"When Ace sets his feet on fire to run faster it actually works (I think). I did it with your ability, and only managed to make holes into the asphalt. You're super ultra lame."

His raging scream would be music to her ears, if they weren't at the cost of him being lame and a lesser copy of Ace. She really wanted to try out the Fire-Fire Fruit, but was stuck with the Lite version. She sighed, disappointed, which didn't seem to improve his mood.

"Could you please not bait Endeavor's inferiority complex?" someone beyond the fire asked. They sounded tired with life. "He's worsening the damages."

That promptly shut him up, and suddenly the fire was more like a coat instead of an inferno. Wow, what a good poker face, it's almost like she couldn't see the raging rage underneath.

"I will pay for the damages." he managed to pry out from his clenching teeth. "The Villain is… quite skilled at being infuriating."

Wow, she was a villain? Was she about to get a bounty? Well, she was about to get incarcerated, so no. She would need to escape from him first, but she wasn't sure how… Oh wait, she was a villain.

"Hey, if I'm a villain, do I get to indiscriminately burn innocent people to escape your hold?" she asked, full of (fake) innocent wonder. "I always wondered how it would feel to kill a man."

He seemed baffled by her question, which she took advantage of to escape from his grasp.

"FREEDOM!" she shouted, before immediately being pinned to the ground.

She managed to turn her head to look at Endeavor, giving him her most unimpressed side-stare.

"Treat me like a villain, don't complain when I act like one." she informed him.

"She got you there." a nearby hobo agreed.

"Thank you nameless hobo." she said sincerely.

"I'm the Pro Hero Eraserhead."

"The one who somehow erased the flames by looking at us, exposing a girl's naked body in public and staring at it?" she asked, "I think you're better off as a nameless hobo, they got a better rep."

He stared, and wow did he need sleep. His bags had bags in them, and she could see some veins in his eyes' corners. Honestly, how did he expect anyone to think he wasn't a hobo? Especially with his rough black clothing, weathered scarf and messy hair. She had seen better looking people than him by searching the word hobo on the internet.

"…I suddenly agree with you Endeavor. The villain has mastered the art of infuriating heroes." He took off his scarf and started to approach them, and D went 'aah' as she realized that she had said everything out loud. "I feel that, unless she starts to shut her mouth, we will have to gag her."

"That's not very heroic," D observed.

"Underground Hero, we do what other Pro Heroes aren't willing to do." Eraserhead riposted.

"Don't gag me and I don't kill people?" the villain offered.

"If you stop your commentary." the hero added.

"Only until I get my blanket."

"Deal."

She would have shaken his hand but she was currently pinned to the ground, so she whistled 'We Are!' to pass the time. She was only finishing when Ingenium arrived with a jumpsuit and some blankets.

Of course, Endeavor decided to personally wrap her tightly in her blanket, so now she was a defenseless burrito incapable of movement. She tried to escape like a worm, but Eraserhead was prepared for her genius and was already carrying her back to the police station.

"Hey, your ability is to turn off others' abilities by looking at them, right?"

"…Yes?" he answered after a while, hesitant of her intentions.

D immediately copied his ability and looked at Endeavor, who was taking the jumpsuit out of Ingenium's hand. Suddenly he was naked, which ew, but it was worth it to embarrass him. Unfortunately, there weren't any civilians around and apparently he didn't care about being naked in the middle of the street. Instead, he matched her stare with a glare of his own.

Her carrier poked her in the eyes. She hissed and shouted expletives, but he didn't care.

"You're a menace to society and I can't wait to dump you on Naomasa." he droned out in the most monotone voice she had ever heard.

"Of course I'm a menace to society, I'm a pirate!" she shouted. "Down with the World Government! Long live the Pirate King! Viva la revolution! Eat the Celestial Dragons!"

He ended up gagging her. It was a new experience, so she didn't mind. It got boring really fast though, so with nothing better to do, she thought about the people she had seen today.

The woman with the big breasts was weird, maybe she had a Sleep-Sleep Fruit that required skin contact? Or was an exhibitionist like Franky. Or could be both, you never knew. For now she would be a Sleep Woman and she would avoid her in fear of becoming a lesbian. (Somewhere, Kayama Nemuri giggled and licked her lips, thinking about being the sexual awakening of someone out there).

The jean obsessed man was… difficult to understand, mostly because his face was covered most of the time. But she was almost sure he was a bad guy pretending to be a good guy. Nobody with the String-String Fruit could be good, Donquixote Doflamingo taught her that lesson with the many potentially traumatizing ways said Devil Fruit could be used. So yeah, the String Man was evil and she was unto him. (Somewhere, Hakamada Tsunagu was deeply offended without really knowing why, so he fixed his hair on reflex and was disappointed that wasn't it).

Ingenium seemed like a nice chap, fetching a beautiful cocoon for her, so she wouldn't enact revenge on him for what the blanket was used for. He was quite fast, and had exhaust pipes on his arms, so obviously he ate the Motor-Motor Fruit, perhaps the Car Model, so he was a Motor Man. (Somewhere, Iida Tensei felt the sudden urge to explain the name of his Engine Quirk, but there was nobody around to scratch that itch).

The bandage she saw earlier and her gag seemed eerily familiar, so Aizawa and Eraserhead were probably the same person and she wasn't sure how to feel about that. She was conflicted on how he moved that scarf around because he definitely had the Erase-Erase Fruit with a name like that, but those cloth movements looked impossible without the String-String Fruit… unless he had Haki. Yeah, he definitely had Haki, she had been trying to bite through the scarf for some time now and it's definitely reinforced with Haki because her teeth hurt. But yeah, he was 100% an Erase Man. (Besides her, Aizawa Shota continued to ignore his cargo, despite it drooling all over his scarf as it tried to bite through its gag)

She was about to think of proto-Ace, but a man in a spacesuit that was also wearing a suit over the spacesuit walked by, accompanied by a generic cowboy with a gas mask. She thought about what she saw, and decided that the astronaut in a suit looked weird on principle and the cowboy in a cowboy get-up looked weird without a suit when next to the aforementioned astronaut. (Just behind her, Thirteen was lamenting not finding a dress that fit over her hero costume, and Snipe felt oddly underdressed when next to Thirteen).

After clearing her thoughts, she considered lame proto-Ace. He just threw fire. That was it. He wasn't made of fire, or controlled already existing flames, he just threw fire around and controlled that. He was a lesser Paramecia Fire-Fire Fruit, obviously inferior to the superior Logia Fire-Fire Fruit. Thus, he would be called… not Proto-Fire Man, because that actually sounded cool and he didn't deserve that… Flame Man, she decided in the end, because it was lesser than fire. (Somewhere, the Flame Hero Todoroki Enji was weirdly interrupted of his bad mood, and he briefly checked that his Quirk Hellflame was still working to explain the chill up his spine)

Overall, D had a good, weird day. The skimpy lady bouncing around buildings and singing only made it better and weirder, so she was all for it.

Chapter 003 Part 2:
Endeavor's infuriating-infuriating day
(or lame Ace is being lamer than usual)

Todoroki Enji, better known as the Number 2 Pro Hero Endeavor, was furiously tapping on his keyboard and easily ignoring through years of experience the concerned look of his secretary.

He had finished his report of the incident ages ago, and handling the PR nightmare that was about to unfold was somebody's else's job. He knew; he had already raised their salary today as a thank you for efficient work. No, why he was furiously tapping was because he was trying to find this 'Ace' person and was becoming increasingly frustrated with the lack of results.

There were no Pro Heroes with a name like that, neither personal names, known disguises, pseudonyms, previous abandoned identities or even rumors of an upcoming Pro Hero with anything resembling that name. He got some idiot with a card motif in England, but he simply threw around sharpened cards, nothing fire related.

He processed this information and switched rails. He looked around for vigilantes, civilians on watch lists for potentially destructive Quirks, kids with great amounts of potential that were noted by Quirk specialists as another example of the Quirk Singularity, even rumors of children formed through one night stands of known Fire Heroes, yet he still found nothing. Sure, he found out one of his Sidekicks had potentially visited a brothel and impregnated someone there, but he simply made a note to give him a talk later about using safety even when your partner uses a pill and giving money to raise the child… Wait, it was supposedly a male escort.

…Change that talk to one about using safety even when using the backdoor for sanitary reasons, and potentially fund the Sex Education programs so children learn basic biology early on.

Still, if he somehow found outlandish rumors like that yet nothing of Ace, there was only one option left. His target was lying below the eyes of the law, and those who did that were villains… or children of villains, he never knew. Villains with fire Quirks only brought up the regulars he already put in prison with extreme prejudice for daring to try to damage his image by misusing their inferior copies. According to the prison records, none of them had unaccounted children, as all of them were put in foster care or with an adoptive family. However, a previous baggage-free one-night stand could have actually had consequences, so he would forward a petition to the prison warden to ask them if such a thing ever happened and to initiate an investigation on any leads.

But Endeavor wasn't satisfied with simply twiddling his thumbs and waiting, so he went out to look for his answers. First, he would interrogate that damn kid about who the hell Ace was. If she refused to answer and nobody who she talked to knew anything more, a simple bribe would do, or an intimidation if that didn't work. If he still didn't have answers, he would bug her phone alongside the places she frequents and listen to her conversations in case she mentioned Ace. If that somehow didn't work even after having plants mention the subject…

There were rumors of a villain with a quirk that let them read the true thoughts of a person. He was supposedly one of the Eight Bullets, some big shot from the yakuza, but he didn't care about that antique organization. He would simply bring down the entire yakuza and arrest everyone involved until he found that specific villain, then offer to 'reduce' his sentence in exchange for help with his Quirk. Of course, that would be a lie unless the police accepted the trade, but what he didn't know didn't hurt him.

Maybe asking for the help of Naomasa would be simpler, but he didn't like owing favors to someone, so it was easier to arrest all of the yakuza in Japan instead.

Yes, he would begin working right now.

"BURNIN!" he roared as he descended the stairs, uncaring of what floor his sidekick was on and shouting to all of them at once. "YOU ARE ON DRILL DUTY; MAKE SURE EVERYONE DOESN'T SLACK OFF JUST BECAUSE THE BOSS IS AWAY!"

Somewhere, Enji thought several floors above him, he heard a faint "Yes sir" and the sound of a whip being used, so he continued his march towards the police station, vaguely impressed. Burnin had been struggling to make a whip using her Quirk, so he would have to congratulate her later on a job well done. Today his employees were on a roll. The best employee competition was neck and neck this month.

As he debated on perhaps throwing a celebration at the end of the month to thank them for their efforts, he dodged without thinking an emancipated looking man. He was about to ignore him, but his sharp nose easily caught the smell of blood on him.

Instantly, he went from angry man to cold veteran Pro Hero. The blond man looked weak, all bones and no muscles, but it wouldn't matter if his Quirk was the correct one. His clothing was baggy and it dragged around, a potential hint of him having a Transformation Quirk that increased his size and muscle mass. A sensible choice to not rip clothing, but still a hint that let others know he was not as harmless as he wanted to be perceived. He was slouched but had his feet firmly on the ground and walked with no hesitation, he knew how to fight and was accustomed to having to do so, he was always prepared even if he didn't look like it.

However, his feet dragged and there was pain in his walk, he had been wounded. Yet he still walked, not through gritting his teeth and overpowering the pain, nor through having done so through countless injuries and practical experience. No, he was accustomed to the pain, saw it as normal and managed to mostly ignore it. So an old wound that never properly healed then.

He stopped walking, probably sensing that someone was observing him, and discreetly looked behind him. Only he did a terrible job of it and was quite obvious about it, turning his head 90 degrees and directly looking at him instead of through the peripherals of his eyes, not even pretending to be looking at something else. So not street smart, which probably meant he wasn't used to having to watch his back in the underworld, but was still wary of someone sneaking up behind him and with the senses to realize someone did.

His musings were cut short when the man's eyebrows reached the top of his head and he began coughing blood out of surprise. Endeavor allowed himself a small smirk, knowing you had someone's attention and knowing you had the Pro Hero with the most cases solved undivided focus was quite a leap.

His target took with practiced ease a stained handkerchief and wiped the blood from his mouth and chin and then pretended he had looked at the side to cough, pointedly refusing to look back even as Endeavor approached him with heavy footsteps. The potential villain was shivering and the confidence in his steps was gone, replaced with uncertainty and fear. He was obviously hiding something, and being nervous because a Pro Hero was around meant another hint of a potential villain, and the scent of blood being from his own condition did not mean there wasn't a recent victim. In fact, it could be a tactic to hide and explain the smell if anyone asked.

He tried to cross the street as the street lights were changing, but the Pro Hero stopped him by grounding him in place by the shoulder and letting him feel slightly hotter than normal to throw him off balance.

"Hey, be careful, the street light was changing." Endeavor informed his prey helpfully, "We wouldn't want any accident to happen, would we?"

He increased the temperature a few degrees more, and he could see the man visibly sweating. Enji wanted to lash out and vent all the day's frustrations on this villain, but Endeavor had to make sure this was actually a villain and use the appropriate amount of force and no more than that. He was a professional after all, and the work was the most important thing.

With that in mind, he cut the chase and decided to be done with it.

"I'm going to summarize my reasons," he explained. "You smell of blood and while I saw you cough some out, that doesn't mean there is some that isn't yours mixed in. You carry yourself like a fighter and wear clothing that wouldn't rip if you used a Transformation Quirk, so you're prepared to do so. You were aware when someone was observing you, and were visibly shaken when you realized it was me, a Pro Hero. Furthermore, you tried to escape discreetly instead of full-out running. Because of these reasons, I want you to accompany me to the police station and detail to them what you did all day and stay so they can do a background check. I will personally take responsibility if this is all a misunderstanding and pay compensation for wasting your time, but if you're a civilian I want you to understand why I chose this course of action so you may quietly comply and get this over with as fast as possible without a scandal."

The man was now visibly gawking at him, which he ignored and began the fun part.

"If you're a villain, now that is a different story. Before you run, I want you to know that I am aware of your old injury, so keep in mind you're not in your prime anymore." the man winced, possibly a sore spot for him. "I will catch you, and I may potentially worsen your injury or even accidently kill you depending on how bad it is, and you coughing blood tells me you will certainly die. Complying with my request and voluntarily giving yourself up will lessen your sentence, so that's the carrot to the stick."

Enji thought about it, and let himself indulge a bit.

"If you're a villain, please fight me." the potential villain gawked at him. He never stopped gawking, but now he was doing it even more and blood was leaking. "I'm quite frustrated right now, and I want to punch someone until they become something. I'm just telling you in case you're a battle junkie that doesn't care about their life… Or are just stupid enough to think you can actually escape or, god forbid, defeat me. Those are always fun to pummel into a paste," he added wistfully at the end.

After finishing his rant, he felt marginally better. Today had been a bad day, but at least he avoided potentially punching the lights out of a civilian because of a gut feeling and frustration. If he was a villain, he either came quietly and increased his arrest cases or became a punching bag to work off frustration, all good things that would lift his mood. But if he was a civilian, he managed to avoid a PR nightmare by being clear and concise with his reasons and acting like a Pro Hero investigating a suspicious individual professionally, so he would feel relief about not worsening this already bad day.

"…I would like to go quietly to the police station, I was already going there anyway." he meekly answered with a cringe.

Enji held back the sigh of disappointment and escorted the man to the police station.

He really wanted to punch him, he just had that kind of infuriating face.

The face of All Might.

(Endeavor meets Toshinori, and his hate for All Might manages to instinctually transfer from one to the other, despite his brain not making the connection. He also is quite the good boss and talker, because being efficient means you have to be nice sometimes, even if you hate wasting time and pleasantries. It's just that most of the times he doesn't have to be cordial, so he isn't.)