Total Drama Endless

by NondescriptNorbert

Total Drama back again! This time there's new twists, a cast of twenty seven fictional characters, and most importantly; a new host. The story isn't over. Epilogue part 4/6. Wonderland is gone. The girl in the looking glass stares back.

18. The Night Hunt

Total Drama Endless, Episode Thirteen

...

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A few hours after the end of the Hallownest challenge and the Fact Hunter's are settling down for the evening. Beatrice had returned from Tomoko's elimination ceremony a few hours earlier. Bringing an unspoken hostility into the room between her and Rick. Fortunately, they both seem content to let in shimmer for the moment, and none of the others have anything planned except to relax a little while, then go to sleep.

That is except for the youngest of them.

"Wednesday Addams, what are you doing down there?" Doofenshmirtz asks, eyeing the pair of dark stockings sticking out from under his bed.

"Looking for someone." Comes a muffled reply from beneath him.

"Looking for someone?" He repeats surprised. "But who would be under my bed at this hour?"

"Artie." Wednesdays says. "I think he's gone missing. I can't find him."

Artie of course was their Arthropleura, a two-metre-long giant prehistoric millipede forced upon them after their visit to it's native time period. Since then while most of the team had been content to ignore it (as much as one can ignore bunking with the largest invertebrate to ever live.) Wednesday had grown to love the creature like was a poodle. She had spent most of the precious time they had between challenges with it resting in her lap.

She crawls under Indiana Jones's bed. "He's not here either."

"Can't this wait till morning kid?" he asks her.

"Artie won't be able to sleep without his bedtime story." Wednesday insists. "Or worse what if he's lost somewhere?"

"And that's a bad thing why exactly?" Beatrice asks, already in bed with her eyes closed. "Because after last challenge, if I ever see a giant bug again it'll be too soon."

"Save It traitor." Rick grunts from his own bed. Beatrice opens her eyes and glares at him.

"You're calling me a traitor now?"

"Okay you two, that can wait for morning." Doof says. He hops out of bed. "In the meantime, Wednesday why don't I help you find your little friend?"

Wednesday raises an eyebrow. "You mean it?"

"Yeah, sure! With an extra set of hands, we'll find him in no time."

Several hours later and far after they'd normally have gone to bed, the two have torn the Fact Hunter barrack's apart with their searching. Yet no sign of their missing pet.

"Okay so apparently it's gonna take longer than no time." Doof admits. "Just to be sure, we checked the bathroom, right?"

"Tripled checked it." Wednesday says shortly.

"We can always quadruple check it you know."

There's a hard knock on the door. Beatrice groans from beneath the pillows she's stuffed over her head.

"Now who's making noise?"

"I'll take care of it." Indy grumbles.

He gets out of bed groggily and stubbles over to the door. He opens it to see all four Flower Girls standing there in the courtyard. Peach and Markus in their pajamas and blinking away the sleep in their eyes.

"What do you people want?" Indy asks shortly. "Do you have any idea what time of night it is?"

"I could ask you the same question." Athena replies coolly. "You realise your barrack shares a wall with ours, do you not? You're keeping half our team up."

"I'm sorry." Indy says, rubbing his own eyes. "We had a something of an incident but we'll be going to bed now. Don't worry."

"You Ladies and Markus haven't seen a giant prehistoric insect, have you?" Doof asks, peaking through the doorframe.

"Not since yesterday." Peach says. "Why do you ask?"

"Missing pet problems perchance?"

The six of them turn to look behind the Flower Girls. Bentley's on the other side of the dark courtyard skipping rope near his own dormitory's entrance.

"Yo… the **** are you doing skipping rope this late?" Markus yawns.

"Just catching up for lost time." Bentley says smiling broadly down at his newly mended legs. "You know it's true what they say; you don't realise how much you miss something until it's gone." He tucks his rope into his shell for safe keeping and strolls over to them. "But yes, speaking of missing things, I take it your Arthropleura ally nowhere to be found?"

"Artie's lost." Wednesday says walking over to the doorframe. "I'm afraid he's run off somewhere and were all sick with worry."

"in that case come with me." Bentley says. "I don't often say this, but I feel contacting the authorities should help us out of our problem."

Cut to Peter

Elsewhere in the ship Peter Quill dances down the long hallway that connects the Contestants corridors in the rear to the bridge of the ship and the staff quarters above it. He twirls around the empty space, mop in hand, Headphones over his ears. Singing along to one of his old favorites.

"…Somebody to tell you
That life ain't passing you by
I'm trying to tell you
It will if you don't even try
You can fly if you'd only "

He pulls the mop handle up to his face and sings into it like it were a microphone.

" Cut loose,"

"Peter."

"footloose"

"Peter!"

"Kick off your Sunday shoes"

"PETER!"

Peter turns around and yelps in surprise. Indy, Wednesday, Doof, Bentley and the Flower Girls are staring at him.

"SON OF A-! How long have you people been there?"

Peach giggles. "We we're watching your very impressive dancing."

"Oh." Peter's indignation melts into a grin. "Why thank you. You know I like to consider myself an expert on all thing's Footloose." He says importantly. "One of the old Terra's greatest stories by the way, along with Super Mario Bros and Raiders of the Lost Ark of course."

"And the Iliad?" Athena asks. Peter makes a face.

"No. Nah... never really got that one."

Athena sighs. "Mortals…"

"So uh speaking of not gettin' things," Peter says gesturing to the group. "what's up with all of this? We having a slumber party, or are midnight snacks just really popular tonight?"

"The Fact Hunter's lost their bug." Lapis says. "We're hoping to find it quick so everyone can go to sleep and I can finish my chess game with Athena."

Peter scratches his beard. "Artie huh? Don't think I've seen him. Seems like he's been pretty low key the past couple of episodes." He glances around. "Are we sure he's out here? Should I be worried about him eating me?"

"No. Artie doesn't eat man children." Wednesday says dryly. "He's a herbivore, he only eats plants."

Peter pauses. "Hold that thought."

He walks to the end of the hall and undims the lights. (The indoor lights on the ship having been dimmed to help everyone's circadian rhythm) Beside him sits a mangled ficus that looks like it's been knocked over and chewed on. A track of dirty footprints lead away from the scene of the crime.

Peter makes a distressed noise.

"Yo, looks like he was here." Markus says sleepily

"Yeah, no kidding he was here." Peter says. "Look at this! It's gonna take me an hour to clean this up." He turns to the others. "Alright, so now clearly this is my problem to. Here's the plan! We need to find Artie quick before ruins any more ficuses. I dub us the Bug Squad and our first order of business is to split up and search the ship got it?"

"Couldn't we let you deal with this and go back to bed?" Indy asks.

"That's not how we roll in the Bug Squad Jones."

Indy grumbles.

Jump cut.

Indy yawns and stretches while Doofenshmirtz searches under the tables of the contestant's cafeteria.

"Anything Doc?" He asks

"Nothing under this table." Doof says. "Or this one. Nope. Nope. Oh hey, I found it!"

"Good you found Artie!?"

"What no."

Doof emerges holding a pistol with a handlebar moustache.

"It's my Mustache-inator. I've been looking everywhere for this."

Indy gives him an exasperated look.

Jump cut.

Athena wanders around the laundry room, pacing between the rows of dryers.

"Do you see him?"

Wednesday crawls out of one of the washing machines. Her soaking wet hair hanging in front of her face.

"No."

Jump cut.

Bentley tip toes around the staff barrack with a flashlight. Sometime rustles in the darkness. He aims his flashlight at it only to reveal Chewbacca turning over in his sleep. The Wookie opens one eye and gives him a low growl. Bentley sheepishly turns off the flashlight.

Jump cut.

Doof and Indy are now in the engine room. Indy climbs down from the access point to the ship's main multidimensional drive, shaking his head.

"Remarkable machine. But no Arthropleura."

Jump cut.

Peach and Peter are in the elimination room, checking the chutes that evicted players disappear down.

"Well, if he was here, he's long gone by now." Peter says.

"While we're on subject, how do these tubes work?" Peach asks. "Are they like warp pipes?"

"Oh no, they're a little more complicated than that. Once a player's eliminated, they're dropped down into an escape pod at the bottom. Said pod then uses facial recognition software to identify the contestant. At which point the pod is jettisoned from the vessel and returns to the former players home reality."

"Oh my. Do you have that all memorized Peter?"

She looks up in time to see him hastily putting a holographic device back on the wall.

"Yup totally memorized. I memorized all of that." He says quickly. Peach giggles and they walk out of the room.

"I was sure he was going to be in there." He grumbles

"That's alright. We tried our best. Let's go upstairs and see if the others have found him." Peach says.

"Yeah but…" Peter scratches his neck and looks back at the elimination room. "I'm telling you. I've got this hunch. I still feel like he'd be down here. Or at the very least somewhere damp and warm."

"Like a vent perhaps?" Peach asks.

Suddenly they hear a muffled scuffling from above them. Peter's face lights up.

"Exactly like the vents! Stay right there!"

He pulls a drill from his red leather jacket and pops the cover off the nearest wall vent. He peers inside and laughs quietly.

"Thank you hunch." He whispers.

"You see him?"

"Yeah I see him. Here."

He hops down from the opening to the vent.

"Alright Toadstool, stay there. I'm gonna lure him out, you get ready to catch him when I do."

"Oh. You want me to catch him?" Peach asks. The thought of wrestling a giant millipede suddenly sounding unpleasant. "Maybe instead I could lure him oUAAAAAAAA!"

Peter bangs repeatedly on the wall behind the vent. At once Artie comes rushing out of the vent towards Peach, and she hurls hernself out of the way. He lands on the ground in front of her with the sharp ping of chitin on linoleum.

"What at you standing there for!? Grab him!" Peter shouts.

Peach staggers backwards. Artie rears up on his hind legs and hisses loudly at her, peeved at having been disturbed. Peter lunges at the creatures. Artie hisses again and scuttles away. Peach shrieking in fright as it passes her.

"After him!" Peter barks.

Peach cultches her chest, wills herself up and chases after Peter and Artie.

As it becomes immediately apparent, Arthropleura's can be very quick, as the two of them struggle to keep pace with Artie as he scuttles through the lower deck.

"He's getting away!" Peach cries.

At the end of the hall in the transporter room. Yerdey sits at the control console, tapping away at the screens.

"Yerdey look out!" Peter shouts.

"Give me a sec." The squid replies nonchalantly.

Artie rushes past Yerdey and onto the transporter floor. There's a flash of light, and the giant insect vanishes.

"Huh, strange. That kind of looked like Artie." Yerdey says.

"THAT WAS ARTIE!" Peter cries horrified.

They hear footprints from above. A moment later the rest of the Bug Squad come thundering down the stairs.

"Did you find him?" Wednesday demands.

"Yeah." Peter says with an annoyed glance at Peach. "Then this one fumbled him and Yerdey send him to Hallownest."

Wednesday's eyes go wide. "What!?"

"Man dude ****!" Markus whines. "Do you have any idea how many bugs there are in Hallownest? That ******'s gonna be impossible to find."

"Yes. Well… that would certainly be a problem if Artie actually was in Hallownest." Yerdey says in something of a restrained voice.

"What are you taking about?" Wednesday asks.

"Well, uh, remember that incident while back you peopled agreed not to talk about?" Yerdey asks. "The one with the demon? Well Conner wanted me to finally track down who was responsible and long story short your pet's in their home reality now."

"You sent it to Hell!?" Indy yelps hoarsely.

"Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. It's much worse than that." Yerdey insists. "I sent him to another season of Total Drama.

….

A half hour later, the gang have changed out of there pajamas and what started as a simple pet search has snowballed into a multidimensional excursion. Peter's going over some provisional information when Athena walks into the transporter room.

"Markus and Lapis will not be joining us." She announces. Peach looks crestfallen.

"Too tired?" Peter asks.

"Markus is." Athena says. "Lapis, try as I might to convince her otherwise would rather play chess with Lenny for the rest of the evening than risk her life for the Fact Hunter's pet."

"Good. I don't want her here." Wednesday says bitterly. "Or any of you actually." She glares at Peach.

"I'm truly sorry." Professes the Princess. "Really. I promise on the good word of the Mushroom Kingdom I will make it up to you."

Wednesday's eye's narrow. "Then get me my pet back." She hisses.

"I will." Peach says earnestly. "No matter how dangerous the world I must search is. Or the people that live there."

She shutters at the memory. It had been shortly after the Rodney House challenge that their taboo encounter occurred. Conner was still near comatose after the festivities on NickEarth so the contestants had been loitering about in the courtyard between their barracks for lack of anything better to do. Suddenly the door to hallway had blown open and out of the smoke emerged a demonic figure in a red pinstriped coat. The demon introduced himself as Alastor and asked about some sort of key. When the group made it clear they didn't know what he was talking about, he turned violent and after a making a mockery of most of the Fact Hunters and Flower Girls, Alastor was momentarily incapacitated when blue haired girl in a fighter jet dropped out of a portal and landed on him. The three of them then scuffled (The fighter jet as it turned out was sapient.) then disappeared without an explanation. Because of Conner's fatigue at the time, and the sheer absurdity of it all they had all decided to agree that none of it had ever happened.

"Honestly I'm not looking forward to finding out what sick place spawned that creature either." Indy says.

"Good. Because there's a fifty percent chance you're not going to." Yerdey says rechecking the console.

"I'm sorry what?" Peter asks suspiciously.

"So as it turns out we're not the only world that dimension has been messing with recently and I might have had another related one open when Artie when through." Yerdey admits.

Peter groans loudly. "You telling me we've got a whole other universe to search!?"

"I mean it's not a big deal, you have enough people to have two search parties."

"I think you mean we pal. You're coming with us." Peter says.

"But I really don't want to." Complains the squid.

Peter folds his arms. "Oh you don't want to is that it? Probably should have thought of that before you helped get us into this mess."

Yerdey sighs. "If I'm going, we'll need someone to guard the controls."

"Get Jeffrey. He's usually doesn't ask too many questions."

Yerdey makes a big show of getting out of his chair reluctantly before he wanders off to find Jeffrey.

"So, these other dimensions?" Doof asks. "They're what? Like evil versions of our own show? Is that right?"

"Not necessarily." Peter says. "See out here in the multiverse were not the only ones running a transdimensional Total Drama season. There's actually a whole bunch of them around. Though it seems most of them managed to invent the premise while Chris was still on the show."

The Contestants glance at one another. Chris Mclean, the series creator, and long-time host may be gone physically from his creation, but he still casts a long shadow over the show. The thought of meeting him is intimidating.

"Anyway, this Chris in charge of one season, Total Drama Cruise I think it's called, apparently had this fun idea to mess with a bunch of other realties running his show. And I'm not just talking us. I'm talking Total Drama Everything, Total Drama Revival, Total Drama Crossover Trunks, Neo, Ultimate Crossover, Operation Phoenix, excreta, excreta."

"Quite the selection of names." Athena says.

"Right? Operation Phoenix sound cool." Doof muses.

"Sure doc." Indy says distractedly. "Which one did Yerdey have left open?"

"Let me see." Peter says inspecting the console. "Uh… Cartoon Multiverse. No! Wait… My bad. That's one of the few Cruise didn't touch." He squints at the console. "Okay, apparently it's a World Tour season called Infinite 2."

"I'm sorry World Tour season?" Athena says confused.

"Expect an airplane and spontaneous musical numbers." Peter says.

Wednesday makes a face of disgust.

"Oh doesn't that sound fun." Peach sighs happily.

"In that case Toadstool why don't I get you, Wednesday, Athena, and Jones to check it out, while me Bentley, Doof and Yerdey take Cruise?"

Wednesday turns and gives Peach a deadly look. The Princess smiles awkwardly.

"I'm sure it will pleasant Wednesday."

"If we get trapped down there like Conner did, I'm throwing you off the plane." Wednesday says dangerously.

"That won't be necessary." Peter assures them. He reaches into a box on the ground and pulls out what looks to be eight wrist watches. "After today's challenge Conner pulled us staff aside an expressed some…" He clears his throat. "Strongly worded interest in upgrading our transporter tech. So, we took a page from Rick and when handheld."

He starts handing out the watches. The contestants put them on and inspect them. Instead of clock face, each watch has a simple LED screen and two buttons on the top like a stopwatch, one red and one green.

"Green button sends you wherever you tell it do in the multiverse. Red button always sends you right back to the ship. That simple enough for everyone?"

"Yup!"

"Yes Peter!

"Yes."

"Yes."

"Yes, thank you."

"Yes."

Peter smiles. "Still as kick ass a captain as ever Starlord." He whispers to himself.

Yerdey leads Jeffrey into the room. The fake Italian still in his pajama bottoms.

"Last chance to change our minds about this." The squid offers.

"No one's changing their mind. No one's coming back without my pet." Wednesday warns. Yerdey sighs.

"Well I tried. Let's do this."

"Alright everyone," Peter says. "good luck, may the force be with you, and for the love of god don't start trouble with the other dimensions or it'll be my ass on the line."

He presses the green button on his watch and disappears, his group following suite. Wednesday sighs

"Let's get this over with."

She, Athena, Peach, and Indy press their green buttons and a moment later they've disappeared as well.

…

Cut to Total Drama Cruise

Peter, Yerdey, Bentley and Doof rematerialized only to immediately gag.

They've appeared on the deck of a cruise ship that looks like it's survived a war. The deck furniture is in ruins, the varnish on the wooden deck is splintered and there's portions of the ships walls that look to be blacken by some sort of explosives. The whole scene's cut with the overpowering smell of industrial cleaner, bird droppings, human vomit, and spend gunpowder.

Bentley lets out a low whistle.

"Makes our ship look like a palace doesn't it?"

"Yeah, no kidding." Doof says, appalled. "What has everyone just been here too long or does this Chris guy have even lower quality standards then I do?"

"Little of both." Yerdey says.

"Right so here's the plan." Peter says. "We search the ship, grab our bug, then get out of here without being spotted."

"Basic heist rules." Says Bentley. "Understood."

"And if we see that Alastor guy, we get revenge on him, right?" Doof asks eagerly.

"What? No!" Peter says urgently. "We don't want anyone knowing we're here."

"Ah come oh!" Doof says, throwing his arms up in frustration (and unbeknownst to any of them knocking his watch off his wrist.) "We're not gonna come all these way without sending these people a message are we?"

"Seriously Doctor D. Conner will mount my head over his mantle like a mountain goat if we start a gang war with another season. Understand? No one can know about this."

Doof folds his arms. "Alright, fine. No revenge." He says disappointedly.

"Good. Now come on." Peter says. "If we stay out here any longer, I'm gonna hurl."

The four of them sneak off around the corner leaving Doof's watch on the deck.

A moment later around the opposite corner comes a local. A girl with a blue vest, detached sleeves, long boots, a skirt that barely covers her privates and most notably waist length sky blue hair. She walks around the deck absently mindedly when her eyes drift to the watch on the ground.

"Huh? Someone must have dropped this."

She looks around then smirks.

"Well, finders' keepers."

Proud of her find she puts on the watch and presses the red button, she disappears and much to her surprise reappears in the Wax Lip Ship's transporter room.

Jeffrey lift's up the sleeping mask he was wearing.

"We're you send here on purpose?"

The girl blinks at him.

"…Um…Of course?"

Jeffrey stares back emotionlessly.

"I find that unlikely but proceed."

He lowers his mask and makes to go back to sleep, while the intruder smiles mischievously and wanders away, keen to explore.

Cut to Total Drama Infinite 2.

On the steppes of south eastern Kazakhstan, a massive aircraft sits on an airstrip too small for it. The plane looks superficially like an Antonov an-124 but it's taller and has twice the number of engines. It may have been just another cargo plane if it wasn't for the familiar face of Chris Mclean, beaming out at the world from an emblem on its tail.

Crouching behind a crate of supplies, Peach, Indy, Athena and Wednesday take in the great machine.

"God look at it. It's like something out of Howard Hughes's fantasies." Indy says in a low voice.

"It's a big plane. How observant of you to notice." Wednesday says coldly. "Here's where you should be looking."

She points to an open side door. The four of them sprint across the tarmac and duck into the plane finding themselves in what must be it's equivalent to their elimination room.

"This is so odd." Peach muses looking around. "Being on someone else's airship. On a different game, with different people. Where do you think they are?"

"Hush." Wednesday whispers at her. She points to a door to another room. Silently as possible the other three crowd around it and peer into through its porthole.

Contestants, at least as numerous and colourful as back home, linger about in the sparse fuselage of the plane.

One of them, a schoolgirl with goggles and a pink uniform is tinkering away madly at a little robot boy. A man with a red suit and white cravat walks over to her hesitantly.

"Ms Iruma I understand you're upset about how things when last challenge, but would you kindly put down the wrench and rejoin your team for a while? Even by your standards this behavior is troubling."

"Can't. Talk." The girl grunts. "Coyle's. Gonna. Pay."

Sitting on a bench opposite of her, a monstrous woman with purple skin, dark hair, and the long snout of a reptile snorts indignantly.

"Let her scheme. She's right anyway. We got screwed right Deadpool?"

She looks over to a man sitting next to her, dressed head to toe in red and black spandex. He twiddles his thumbs absent mindedly.

"Right Deadpool?"

"Huh? Say that again Susie I wasn't listening. I had the Indiana Jones theme stuck in my head."

A man with a blonde ponytail, red vest and a trucker's cap chuckles slightly. "Deadpool much as we all enjoy your sense of humour, can you put it on pause for a moment? We're trying reason with Miu here."

Deadpool laughs. "Pausing my sense of humour. You're joking right? That ship was launched with no breaks." He chuckles. "But seriously though. I wasn't being funny for once, I was thinking of Indiana Jones because he's right there watching us through the door.

His team looks up. The Endless cast ducks down and pulls away from the door.

"Now what?" Whispers Peach.

"Run." Indy says.

The door bursts open and Susie, Deadpool and the man in the ponytail stream into the room.

"What the!?" He cries.

"See? What did I say?" Deadpool says cheerfully.

Indy pulls his revolver out and points it at the three.

"Stay back! We don't want any Trouble!"

"Professor Jones please! There's no need for that!" Peach says steeping in front him. The man in the cap's eyes go wide.

"Hold on a second." He says staring at her. "Peach? Is that you?"

Peach gives him a confused look. "I… Believe so? My name is Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom. These are my companions, Wednesday Addams, Henry Jones, and Athena of Olympus."

"Can't say I'm familiar with your pals outside the movies." The Trucker says. "But I remember you from the last Smash Tournament."

Peach tilts her head sideways. "Smash Tournament?" The trucker grins.

"Don't worry it's alright if you don't remember me. There was a lot of people there. My name's-"

"TERRY!"

A blue haired girl storm over to him. The same blue haired girl that had been on the ship in Cruise.

"Why aren't you talking to me? Who are these people? Who's this?" She turns and jabs a finger at Peach. "Say away from Terry! He doesn't need you when he has me! Your boobs are way smaller than mine and everything!"

Peach blushes slightly with embarrassment.

"Don't be so sure bitch." Miu says getting up and walking over, arms folded. "I've seen some pretty ****** nice pictures of her on the fansites."

Peach's face flushes redder than her cloak. Indy and Wednesday smirk.

"So. Miss goody two shoes has a shameless side does she?" She asks.

"I haven't a clue what you're all talking about." Peach says truthfully. "With all due respect I've never meet any of you before."

"Ignore them Princess, you know what other casts are like." Athena says placing an arm on her shoulder protectively and watching the Infinite contestants like a hen guarding her eggs. "I'll make this short. My teammate speaks the truth, regardless of what you think you don't know her. Me and my associates are from another reality show from a different realm."

"Great! More of this ****!" Miu says shortly. "Last time this happened we had to deal with two Aqua's. As if one wasn't too much already."

"Okay! First of all, the other Aqua was way worse than me." The blue haired girl says defensively. "She particularly cleared us out of booze!"

"Please..." The man in the cravat says. "You and Rick used to be able to do that in two days."

Indy and Wednesday glance at one another. "Hang on…" He says slowly. "Rick who?"

"Our old teammate." The man replies. "Rick Sanchez."

Cut to another room of the plane.

Closer to the nose of the plane, in a far nicer first-class section. Rick Sanchez himself taps on the armrest of his chair distractedly. This is not the Rick we've come to know, rather, like the Aqua onboard he is a local. He's legs perfectly functional, his priorities different than what we're familiar with.

He gets up and strolls over to the bar. There's a boy sitting on one of the stools. He's a runt of a young man, short, sandy haired, and wearing a red jacket. His nose is currently pressed to an journal he's reading. The page he's currently flipped to shows a drawing of a strange black object in the shape of a dodecahedron.

"Recovered from Kowloon Walled City… Fascinating." He mutters under his breath.

"Is this all you're going do this season Edward?" Rick asks leaning over the boy's shoulder. "Keep reading that thing?"

"Rick last I checked you weren't Winry." Edward says without looking up.

"Who the ****'s Winry?"

"A friend from back home. Anyway, when are you going to stop pestering me about this?"

"When you start listening." Rick says closing the Journal. "Look, kid. I couldn't give less of a **** what you do in your free time, but this thing means a major goddamn headache for all of us. Understand? I don't want to be responsible for cleaning up the mess this is going to cause. I deal with enough of that **** at home."

The door to first class opens, in walks a girl with a short blue hair, a blue hoodie and a cybernetic arm.

"Hey Tari." Edward says, seizing to opportunity to change topics.

"Hey." She says walking over to plant a kiss on his check (The two had been dating for some time.) "Rick your old team's all a buzz."

"Miss me already do they?" Rick asks.

"No. Actually I ran into Miu in the hallway. She said something about more contestants from another universe showing up."

Rick groans loudly. "**** that! We just restocked the ****** bar!"

"Don't worry it's not another Aqua this time." Tari assures him. "I think she said they're from… what did she say it was? Total Drama Endless."

"Endless?" Rick repeat. "What kind of name is that ****? It sounds like they wanted to call their season Infinite, realized we already took it, then looked up a synonym online."

"Maybe they're from an evil alternate version of our show." Edward says. "Rick you should go deal with them."

He grins a little too earnestly. Rick's eyes narrow. "I know what you're doing kid. But fine. I'll have a little chat with their Chris."

He grumbles and pulls an all too familiar portal gun from his breast pocket.

Cut to Endless.

Back on Conner's ship the courtyard's as quiet as you'd expect it to be this late in the evening.

There's a flash of green light and a portal appears, from it steps Infinite's Rick. He surveys the courtyard.

"Huh. Not bad." He mutters.

He struts across the hall to the Fact Hunters barracks and walks in, taking in the cozy living conditions.

"****. Why aren't I on this season?"

"You are."

He spins around. Our own Rick has thrown the covers off himself and is staring at his doppelganger.

"Who are you?"

"I'm you but stronger." The other Rick says glancing down at his broken legs.

"Yeah no ****" Our Rick snaps back. "I mean what the **** is this? Who do you work for?"

"Relax pal." The Other Rick says putting his blaster back in his pocket. "I'm not with the Council if that's what you're getting at."

"Thank Christ. I've got enough to deal with here without those bureaucratic assholes getting involved."

"Well word of advice pal. If you don't want people getting involved in your **** then stay out of theirs."

"Look." Our Rick says. "Skip the interrogation. Clearly I did something to piss you of I'm not remembering right now, and you want revenge. Perfectly understandable, but can It wait a couple months or something? I've got this game show I'm in the middle of. It's like some old Canadian show, Total Drama or something."

"I know about Total Drama!" The Other Rick snaps. "I'm on my own season right now and your contestants are over there ****** **** up!"

"Then why the **** are you yelling at me instead of them!?"

A noise draws their attention. Beatrice and Roy have propped themselves up from their pillows and are starring at the two Rick's sleepily.

"Don't tell me." Beatrice says. "I'm having a nightmare."

"Actually, I think this is one I've had before." Roy says.

Beatrice nods and rolls over, falling back to sleep. Roy does the same.

Our Rick pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs.

"Alright seriously, can you piss off? I don't need those two waking up again. They're bitchy enough as is when they've had a full night's sleep."

The Other Rick rolls his eyes and makes to leave. "Fine. Enjoy your night in first class asshole."

"This isn't first class dick. We sleep here every night."

The Other Rick stops dead in turns around. "You get beds like that every night?" He asks. "We only get that **** when we come in first. **** last season we even didn't get that. All we had we're a bunch of **** cabins up north."

Our Rick smirks at him. "Sound like you signed up for the wrong show pal."

"Yeah no ****." The Other Rick replies. He pauses to mull something over. "You know… Thing's have been getting stressful on my show. Maybe you could… I don't know. Help a fellow Rick out and swap seasons with him for a while?"

Our Rick laughs. "Not a chance pal." The Other Rick smirks back at him.

"That's alright. I wasn't asking."

He wipes a blaster out of his coat and freezes are Rick in place. The stranger grabs his frozen figure by the broken legs and hurls Our Rick into the bathroom.

The Other Rick dusts his hands off and flops into the bed, satisfied with himself. He sighs.

"Oh yeah. This is much better."

Cut to Cruise.

Back on the high seas, Peter, and his group, continue to pace the outside of the great vessel.

"You know it's lucky this season's set on Cruise ship. Really narrows down our search." Doof remarks.

"Yeah, because as everyone knows, giant freaking cruise ships are notoriously easy to search in one night." Peter snarks.

"Easier than searching a whole universe." Doof insists.

"He's got you there Quill." Yerdey says.

"No he doesn't."

BANG.

A deafening noise knocks them off their feet. They look up to see a wad of what appears to be garbage sailing off into the sky. Loud cackling rings out from the top deck above them.

"Where's that one going boss?"

"A fresh target. Cartoon Multiverse I think it's called."

"I thought you said there wasn't no point pranking them since they're between seasons.?"

"Changed by mind. Now start reloading the cannon, I want to hit Everything again."

"What? You kidding me? After the trouble with the Warners?"

"Look just because I agreed to lay off their version of me doesn't mean that new game show Hades started isn't fair game."

Peter goes pale. He curses.

"Who is that up there?" Bentley asks.

"That would be Chris." Peter whispers. "And a notoriously unhinged version of him."

"No kidding. That Cruise Mclean's like the Yerdey Yisme of Chris Mcleans." Yerdey says. "And If that doesn't make your endothermic blood run cold, then we clearly haven't been paling around enough."

"Skip the quipping and get in here before he spots us." Peter hisses, ushering them forcefully into the nearest door. They find themselves in a cafeteria just as unhygienic as the rest of the ship.

"Would you get a load of this dump?" Doof says, looking around disapprovingly. "Not even a Drusselsteinian health inspector would give this place a past. I would know, I'm from there."

"Yes, we're aware." Bentley assures him.

Doof looks at him in surprised. "You are?" How is that? I don't share my tragic backstories outside my team."

"No, but your voice tends to carry."

"And seriously doc, you're going get us caught if you don't get that under control." Peter says in low voice.

As if on cue another deafening bang shakes the room. Two teens walk into room, a red-haired boy in a monk's robe and a Japanese schoolgirl with the same harsh red on black colour scheme as the Shadow the Hedgehog. She groans irritably.

"When's Chris gonna learn to stop messing with other universes? After last challenge I'm getting sick of them."

"You're right Ryuko. It's not very polite. But of course, he's not been much better to us has he?"

Their eyes drift over to Peter and Doof who seemingly either didn't have time to hide when they walked in or were to fear stricken to remember to."

"Oh, hello there." The boy says. "Are you here for the next challenge?"

The causality of the statement seems to break Peter out whatever trance he had gotten into.

"That's it?" He demands. "Four strangers are sitting in your cafeteria and you hardly react?"

The boy shrugs. "Well, it's really nothing out of the ordinary, for us. Strange people seem to find there way to this ship all the time."

"It's kind of this show's schtick." Ryuko, the girl says.

"Not to mention we're fairly strange ourselves." Her school uniform chimes in. Peter flinches.

"Anyway." Asks the boy. "What do you mean by four strangers?"

Bentley and Yerdey pop out from behind the nearest trash can.

"Spectacular heisting there, gentlemen." Bentley says sarcastically." If this had been a real job, you'd be dead by now."

"Amateurs." Yerdey says. Bentley nods.

"Undoubtedly."

"Wait. slow down." Ryuko says, suddenly. Pulling out a sword and brandishing it at Peter. "What was that about a heist?"

"Easy there Japanimation." Peter says. "We're just looking for someone we lost."

"And revenge!" Doof cries.

"Oh really?" A voice muses from above them.

They look up. Perched on the ceiling is a demonic figure in a red pinstriped coat. His head twisted back like a girl in need of an exorcism. Peter curses again under his breath.

The demon leaps down and lands between them.

"So…" He says adjusting his bowtie. "You've followed the devil back to his lair for a second go have you?" He laughs sinisterly, there's a strangeness to his voice. One that makes him sound as if it were partly obstructed by radio static. "You've got more guts than you do brains pal."

"Please tell me these guys aren't your friends Alastor?" Ryuko says glaring at the demon. Alastor leans over and grins unpleasantly at her, barring a mouth full of long yellowed fangs.

"Ha! No. Unfortunately, not my dear. These fine gentlemen are yet another consequence of our ill-fated challenge last week."

"They're contestants from another season of Total Drama?" The boy asks curiously. Peter jerks a thumb back to Doof and Bentley.

"They are. Me and Yerdey are interns."

"So your from the universe Alastor visited then?"

The demon cackles again.

"And what fun we had together! They were a tad too tight lipped for my liking, so I beat the stuffing out of them."

"Yeah thanks for that." Doof says.

"You're most welcome." Alastor says politely. "But clearly I left you itching for more. Lucky for you I'm too much of a gentleman to deny a such a proposition" He takes off his coat and raises his fists like a boxer and playfully starts swigging at them. "Come on then boys! Put up your dukes."

"Alright, but I warn you I was my middle school's boxing champion back in Gimmelshtump." Doof says raising his own fists.

Peter pushes him out of the way and aims a blaster at the Alastor. The demon grins again, one of his blood red eye's twitching.

"No one's boxing the devil on my watch. At least until we get answers."

"Funny, my old gym teacher used to say that too." Doof muses. "Mind you not as often as he'd say 'If you don't get that ham scent out of your clothes, you'll never find love.' Which of course, I'd need to get into a whole other backstory to expla-"

Yerdey leaps up onto one of the tables and slaps a tentacle over Doof's mouth.

"Now. I wanted to do this the sneaky way, but apparently that wasn't in the cards." Peter says to the demon. "So I'm gonna make this quick. Me and my squid pal here accidently chased a giant prehistoric bug into your universe. Once we've found it we can be on our way. So do me a favour and tell me. Have you seen an eight-foot millipede?"

Alastor smirks. "I don't know anything about it. Hey! Doesn't that sound familiar? Oh yes I remember. I believe It's the same thing your miserable little crowd told me when I was asking favours."

He cackles.

"Ignore him." Ryuko says darkly. "He's an asshole."

"So we've gathered." Bentley says.

"In fairness we haven't seen your pet either." The boy says. "But that doesn't mean to much. This is a big ship after all."

"We're also aware of that."

"Right. Of course." The boy laughs embarrassedly.

"You guy's could try asking the other contestants." Ryuko offers. "Armin and Eddy should be around."

"What about Starscream? Is he still around?" Peter asks hopefully.

"Starscream, was unfortunately voted out last challenge." Alastor says gleefully. "Believe me I more than anyone was heartbroken to see him go."

Peter looks like a child who's been told Christmas was cancelled.

"Armin and Eddy." Bentley says. "We'll keep an eye out for them. Anyone we should avoid? Or at least besides the obvious." He jerks his head towards Alastor.

"If you're looking to stay out of trouble, try to avoid Chris, his interns and most of all Aqua." Ryuko warns them.

"Why Aqua?" Her friend asks.

"Because she's Aqua."

"Fair enough."

Cut to Endless.

Back on Conner's ship the Other Rick is strolling around again like a tourist. He looks awfully proud of himself.

"Listen to that peace and quiet. **** I could get used to this."

He walks into the cafeteria and flips on the light. Jeremy's already stocked the buffet with pastries and warm breakfast food. Rick's eyes go wide.

"You ****** serious! These guys get pancakes every day too!? Holy **** I'm never leaving this place."

Something rustles beneath the counter. He freezes and pulls his blaster.

"Uh hello?" He says uncertainly. "Whoever that is back there, it's me Rick, aka an established contestant on your show, giving me full rights to be here."

Something rustles again. Rick leaps over the counter and points his weapon at the offending figure. It's the blue haired girl. Rick's eye's go wide.

"Aqua!?"

The girl smiles innocently at him. "Um… maybe."

"Aqua what the **** are you doing here?"

"What does it look like? Nothing." Aqua says with a huff. "These people don't have any booze to swipe."

Rick's eyes narrow. "Hold the **** up. You're not that Other Aqua that stole our liquor?"

"Uhhhhhoff Course not!" Aqua says catching on. "I'm from your world silly. The one with Spinel."

"Oh really? Riddle me this then bitch. What's our season called?"

"Um… Infinity?"

"Close enough." Rick grumbles. He puts away his blaster and pulls out his portal gun. "Now do me a favor and get out."

"What? No? There might be more loot I could grab."

"Dammit Aqua I've got a good thing going here! There's another Rick in this dimension I can pose as."

Aqua suddenly smirks at him. "Really? In that case it'd be a shame if someone told them you were an imposter wouldn't it?"

Rick wordlessly fires a portal at her. She yelps and rolls out of the way.

"Hey! Hey! HEY! Wait a minute! You don't need to do that! Help me find one shiny thing or bottle of liquor and I'll go okay?" She bats her eyelashes at him. Rick snarls at her in disgust.

"Who do you take me for? ****** Terry?"

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeease?"

"Alright! Fine!" Rick snaps. "Just get the **** out when your done alright?"

Aqua claps her hands together. "Good! Now! Onward!" She holds her arms out like a toddler. "Carry your goddess to her treasure."

Rick gives her a look of deep look of loathing.

Cut to Infinite.

Over in the Other Rick's universe, any and all awkwardness between the casts have dissipated, at least for the most part. The two groups of contestants sit across from each other, comparing their games.

"So you're two seasons in?" Indy asks.

"Not Exactly." Says the man in the red suit. "There were thirty of us at the start. Half are new and half we're from last season."

"No, I mean why would you have signed up twice?"

"Yes… well. Unfortunately, we were contractually obligated."

Indy looks startled. "That's a possibility?"

"And how is this Chris Mclean fellow as a host?" Athena asks. "Our season is hosted by a different man."

"He's a prick but you find ways to deal with it." Susie says with a smirk. "I personally like cussing him out in the confessionals."

"What are those?" Wednesday asks. Terry chuckles in disbelief.

"So, let me get this straight, you've got no confessionals, no hurling, no couples, no humiliating challenges or gross food? What kind of Total Drama season are you people on?"

"One without Chris evidently." Athena says. Terry nods.

"Touché."

The door opens and six newcomers walk in, all of them just as diverse as the crowd already in the room. Susie grins when she sees them.

"Sup guys. Heard we had visitors, did you?"

A young man in grey Japanese school blazar smiles back at her.

"Yes, pardon the intrusion everyone." He says. "But we wanted to meet these guests Miu's been talking about."

Another Japanese man, this one a few decades older marches over and inspects the Endless crowd. "So you're from another season of Total Drama?"

"Yes, that's right." Athena replies. The man nods.

"I'll believe it. You've got the look to you."

"I suppose we are a rather odd group, aren't we?" Peach asks. Suddenly a little yellow shih tzu in the back gasps.

"Princess Peach?"

She squeezes her way to the front of the group and squeal.

"Oh, it is you! What an unexpected surprised. I didn't think I'd be seeing you until the next Smash tournament."

Peach sighs. "Oh, for goodness- Okay ms… Whoever you are."

Deadpool slaps his forehead "Right. Silly me. We haven't done a full round of introductions yet. Everyone this is Peach, Athena, Wednesday, and Indiana Jones, they're from Total Drama Endless. Endless gang, you've already meet me, Susie, Miu, Aqua, Terry, Reg the Robot and Edgy."

The man in the cravat sighs. "It's actually Edgeworth."

"Anyway. We're the Hungry Wolves," Deadpool says proudly. "Or at least I think that's all of us, we may be missing someone. Any who our newcomers are all from the Dark Fun Gang, another team, starting with Wendy.

A girl with long blue pigtails and a summer dress waves at them. "Hi."

"Iida and Kiryu."

The two Japanese men nod.

"Sora and Glass Joe."

A boy with spikey brown hair and a nervous looking boxer smile and wave.

"And I'm Isabelle." The Shih Tzu says excitedly.

"Well Isabelle It's a pleasure to meet you." Peach says. "It truly is. However, I really can not stress enough that you must have me mistaken for another Princess. I have never been to a Smash Tournament. In fact outside this game. Almost all of the people I know live in my own Mushroom Kingdom or it's neighbours."

"Like Waluigi?" Isabelle asks. Peach nods.

"Yes like Wa-"

She freezes.

"Like who!?"

The door bursts open standing in his frame is a thin plumper, in a purple shirt and cap.

"WAH!"

"Oh that's who I was forgetting." Deadpool says cheerfully.

"WHERE IS THE PRINCESSS!?" Shouts the plumper.

All eyes drift to Peach. The blood drains from her face. The newcomer gasps.

"WAH It's true! The lovely Peach has come to visit Waluigi WAH!"

He rushes over to her and kisses one of her hands excessively.

"It is so nice of you Princess." He gets out between smooches. "Waluigi knew he was always your favorite."

"Another case of mistaken identity Peach?" Athena asks uncertainty.

"No." Peach sigh. "This is Waluigi. He's one of my more… self obsessed subjects." she says struggling to mask her displeasure. "Always there for the cart racing, but no where to be found whenever the Kingdom's in danger.

Wednesday's smirking again. "Are you sure? He seem like could also be one of your online admirers."

"I don't have any of online admirers!" The princess snaps.

"Yeah, sure you ****** don't" Miu smiles. Peach sighs.

"And to think I thought there were going to be musical numbers."

"Yeah, sorry. We don't really do those unless Chris forces us too." Wendy says with a shrug.

"I WILL A SING FOR YOU A PRINCESS!" Waluigi declares suddenly. Peach jumps back in alarm.

"Oh no…" She whispers.

She watches mortified as Waluigi pulls a pitch pipe from his overalls and clears his throat.

"Oh Sing a song of Waluigi!

Greatest in the land

For the Princess has come to see me.

I welcome her sweet hand.

The results of this competition

It is plain to see.

That it's one and only winner

Will be clearly Waluigeeeeeee!

He ends his tune in an ear-splitting high note. Most of the group covers their ears. Peach has pulled the hood of her red cloak over her face; she looks like she'd rather be anywhere else.

Wednesday breaks into applause.

"Well done! Magnifico! Encore! Encore!"

Waluigi bows.

"A thank you. Thank you. It is an honour to serenade my fair princess and…" He bats his eyes at Peach. "… Maybe in return she'll do something nice for Waluigi? Get him a smash invite perhaps?"

"OH ENOUGH!"

Peach pulls her hood off and glares at Waluigi, the plumber recoils.

"Ah… Something Waluigi said?"

"Yes!" Cried Peach. "I have had it with this Smash Tournament you're all seemingly obsessed with! I'm tired you people thinking I'm a brawler. I'm tired of you people thinking I have "Fansites" whatever those are." She yawns deeply. "…and more than anything I'm just so very tired."

"We didn't mean to offend you." Isabelle says ruefully.

"Don't worry about her. It's late where we're from." Indy says. "Speaking of, we've been getting a little sidetracked about why we came."

"That's fine. I've been enjoying myself." Wednesday says. "This place is fun right Princess?" She smirks at Peach. Peach goes back to hiding under her hood.

"None of you perchance have seen a giant millipede, around have you?" Athena asks.

"No. I think we would have noticed something like that." Glass Joe says nervously. Athena grimaces.

"That's what I'd thought." She gets up. "Very well then, in that case we should rendezvous with Quill in the other universe. Everyone, It was a pleasure. I wish you good fortune in your game."

"Thanks." Wendy beams. "We're going to a place called London next. I'm really looking forward to it."

Deadpool chuckles and shakes his head. "Teasing a little girl like that have you no shame Norbert?"

Indy glances at him uncertainly. "Who?"

"Don't worry. That's just a Deadpool thing. He likes talking to his imaginary friend." Edgeworth assures him. He pauses for a moment. "Although normally he calls his friend MemeKing the Third."

"Whatever they're name is they sounds like a wonderful person." Peach says dryly, already fiddling with her watch. Deadpool laughs.

"Oh, you wouldn't say that if you knew what they had planned for you Parker."

Peach looks at him funnily. "My name's Peach."

"I know."

She shakes her head and teleports away, the other three following moments later.

Cut to Endless.

Meanwhile in the Crew Quarters of Conner's ship, everything is quiet. The scene is dark, a row of curtains has been drawn over the windshield blocking out most the light of the extradimensional void beyond. Then a quiet creak cuts through the stillness of the scene as door to the hallway slowly opens, and Other Rick and Aqua poke their head into the room.

"There. If there's any 'Good ****' worth grabbing on this thing it'd be in Chris's quarters." Rick says in a low voice.

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's loot."

Aqua makes to barge into the room, Rick holds her back.

"I ****** said we're doing this quietly remember?" He hisses.

Aqua pouts at him but stays silent. The two tip-toe into the room, Aqua gasps.

Conner's private bar is siting in the corner of the wide room, stocked to the brim with some of the finest alcohol in the multiverse. She rushes over and starts shoving bottles into a pillow sack she must have acquired at some point. As she's working her eye's drift upward and she gasps even louder.

Meanwhile on the other side of the room Rick plays with his blaster. Tapping his foot impatiently.

"Why the **** did I agree to this?" He grumbles.

A noise draws his attention, looks over and to his horror see's Aqua balanced precariously on the bar, reaching for a collection of gold statuettes on a shelf just beyond her grasp.

"Aqua!" He yelps

A second later the inevitable happens and Aqua's foot slips out from under her. Rick cures loudly and rushes across the room just in time to catch the girl and the statues she knocked loose.

"Hey! You almost made me drop my treasure!" She snaps at him.

"Why the **** are you stealing Chris's Daytime Emmys!?" Rick growls at her furiously.

"What?" She asks innocently. "They're shiny and I deserve them more."

"Excuse me?"

"Everyone knows I'm the real star of this show."

Rick's about to retort when he catches the name one of the awards in Aqua's hand.

1987 Primetime Emmy Award

Outstanding Writing For A Variety, Music Or Comedy Program

Late Night With Conner O'Gleeson

Conner O'Gleeson-Writer

"Wait." Rick says slowly.

He sets her down and walks back to the doorframe to flip the lights on. In the light he see's the walls of the room are plastered with memorabilia from Conner's shows.

"What the-"

"AAAAGH!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

Conner himself barges out of his bedroom, clad in a bathrobe, welding a baseball bat and yelling like a manic. Rick and Aqua yelp in surprise. Conner locks eyes with the two of them and they stare at one another for a moment.

"Conner O'Gleeson?"

Conner gives him a withering look. "No." He says sarcastically. "I'm Marlon Wayans doing white face again. Yes, I'm Conner! What do you want?"

"Just dealing with this intruder." Rick says spotting an out. Aqua glares at him.

"You traitor!" She turns to Conner. "He was helping me steal your stuff!"

"******** I was!" Rick roars. "I'd never do that. I'm a contestant!"

"Actually, my Rick's still crippled from the waist down." Conner says causally.

"I uh healed my legs."

"…And he's been complaining about not being able to heal himself for a week now."

Rick curses again. Conner chuckles.

"Fine you caught me! Are you proud of yourself?" Rick snaps. "In that case you want to tell me why I'm talking to a third-rate celebrity!? Where's your Chris Mclean?"

"Retired." Conner says. "I'm the host of Total Drama in this dimension."

Rick and Aqua look stunned for a moment then burst out into uncontrollable laughter. Conner looks slightly hurt. "What?"

"Are you ****** kidding me?" Rick howls. "You're the best they could find?"

"I was almost scared of this guy." Aqua shrieks hysterically, tears streaming down her face. Conner suddenly grins again.

"No that's true. For a six foot four Irish man I'm definitely on the non-scary side."

Rick and Aqua continue laughing until suddenly a deafening roar behind them makes them stop cold. The turn around to find a very cranky Chewbacca seething at them.

"My pilot on the other hand... Now he's the one that's scary." Conner says lightly.

Chewie snarls. Rick gulps. Aqua points a finger at him.

"He did it."

Cut to Cruise.

When Peach and her gang rematerialized, they find they've appeared right in front of the other four. Peter leaps back, and pulls his blaster.

"Relax, it's just us." Indy says.

Peter catches his breath. "You people want to give me some warning before you do that? We're trying to keep a low-profile."

"Artie's in this universe." Wednesday says. "Have you found him yet?"

"No but we're on his tail."

The newcomers glance around, they're on the lower decks of the ship, which look appalling even by the standards of the rest of the vessel. Peter and his crew have brought along Ryuko and her friend, along with two other boys. A nervous boy with a blonde bowl cut and a pudgy boy with a yellow polo short and black hair cropped short everywhere but for three long strands on his forehead.

"Quill. You mind telling your friends to keep it down?" The Pudgy Boy asks. "I don't want any unwanted attention while we're down here."

"Won't happen again Eddy." Peter assures.

Wednesday marches up to the boy. "So, you've seen my pet?"

"Yeah. I've seen it." Eddy says grimly. "Me and Armin were in our rooms and it slithered right by like something out of Ed's monster movies didn't it Armin?"

The Blonde boy nods fearfully.

"Anyways. This ship is so crummy it took your gang showing up before we realised anything out of the ordinary was going on." Eddy continues.

"Peter figures it's probably crawled down to the lower deck." Ryuko says, reluctance in her tone.

"Is that bad?" Athena asks. Eddy shutters.

"Your kidding right? We were down here for a challenge once. I'd sooner marry all three Kanker sisters than spend any more time down here." His eyes drift to Wednesday. "So uh…" He changes his tone. "Let's say it'd be greatly appreciated if there was some kind of sufficient reward involved."

Wednesday nods, then punches him in the gut. Eddy wheezes and doubles over.

"Is that sufficient enough for you?" She asks.

"More than enough." Eddy grunts.

"Good."

Eddy gets back up and starts grumbling to himself.

"Lousy game show. I toil and toil away and what do I get for it? Nothing…"

"So… How was the other season?" Doof asks cheerfully. Wednesday laughs.

"Wonderful Doctor. We meet a bunch of Peachy's friends didn't we Princess?"

Peach sighs tiredly. Wednesday smirks.

"I can't wait to tell everyone about this when we get home."

They walk down a dark and filthy flight of stairs until they reach the lowest deck of a ship. A vast cargo hold, full of crates, supplies, and (Oddly enough.) a large wooden throne.

"God, what do you people keep down here? The ark of the covenant?" Indy asks.

"Knowing this place you might not be wrong." The monk says softly.

"Alright Bug Squad time to disperse again." Peter announces. "Everyone pick a buddy and a direction. You two, come with me."

He gestures to the boy and Peach and they both set off after him through the maze of crates.

"So Peach, if we see Artie again you're actually gonna catch him this time right?" He asks her.

Peach sighs again, Peter turns back at looks at her.

"What's up?"

"Why must Wednesday be so mean to me?" Peach blurts out. "I've been nothing but nice to her."

"I don't know. Maybe it's a matter of principal."

"What do you mean?"

Peter shrugs. "I mean she's a little goth girl all in black and you're a blonde princess in a pink dress. I think she's got to hate you on sight just to keep up appearances."

"Oh but that's silly." Peach asserts. "Maybe we just haven't spent enough together."

The boy clears his throat. Peach turns to look at him and he blushes embarrassedly.

"Sorry for butting in. If I could give some advice?"

"Oh yes of course." Peach says. The boy smiles then looks around the ship as if it were an old friend.

"See thing is, I don't know how far along your lot is, but here we're almost done our season. I've had a lot of experiences along the way and one of the harder thing's I've learned is this. Some people will stay wicked no matter how many chances you give them."

"But Wednesday not a bad girl necessarily. Just misguided." Peach insists.

"That's what I thought about Aqua." The boy says. "I was willing to give her more chances than anyone else and she tried to put a knife in my back each time. Mind you not every who acts out is bad. Some are just mischievous, like my friend Aisling. Or frustrated like Uncle. But you need to know when people aren't worth it."

"Well of course." Peach says. "I know that. But all the same I don't want to start being rude back to her. That wouldn't be very princess like. Besides, I'd promised her I'd fix my mistake and get her pet back."

The boy laughs. "You can still be nice. Just don't go to far out of the way for her. Let her comments wash off you and leave the figuring out of her mortal soul to the lord."

Peach smiles. "I'll try that. Yes, Thank you…" She pauses to laugh. "Oh I'm sorry I don't believe I know you're name yet?"

The boy smiles back. "My name's Brenden ma'am."

"Brenden." Peach repeats. "What a lovely name."

"Hold it!"

Peter holds a fist up suddenly and stops in their track. Somewhere nearby they can hear Doof shouting.

"Hey that's it! I found Artie! I found AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Artie comes crashing through a crossroad in front of them, Doof clings desperately to his tail.

"AAAAAAAAAAAATHIS IS NOTHING LIKE MIDDLE SCHOOL BOXIIIIIIIINNNNNG!"

Artie spots them clicks his pinchers in alarm then turns to scamper away.

"OH NO YOU DON'T!"

Peter dives for the insect. He lands on Doof's legs and accidently pulls the scientist off the bug.

Peach and Brenden step around the two men they chase after the bug.

"Don't worry!" Peach cries. "I'll take care of AHH!"

Wednesday, Bentley, Yerdey and Ryuko come barreling around the corner crashing into to Peach and Brenden.

"Watch where you're going." Wednesday snaps.

"I am." Peach says pointing at the escaping arthropod. Wednesday gasps.

"Artie!"

She rushes after her pet, pursuing the creature through the labyrinthine space. They sprint through compartment after compartment, until finally they reach a wall of crates Artie can climb but they can't.

Wednesday skits to a halt the other come in behind her a second later.

"He's like that Hornet figure, theirs no catching him." Bentley pants.

"Then let's give up and go home already." Yerdey says.

Wednesday pauses for a second then smiles at Yerdey. "No Bentley's right, this requires Hallownest thinking." She turns to the Cruise cast. "Which one of you is the strongest?"

"Yo." Ryuko says, gesturing to herself.

Wednesday smirks. "How high do you think you could throw a squid?"

"How could what now?" Yerdey asks.

A few second later Yerdey Yisme in all his Fiseng glory go sailing over the wall landing with a quiet squishing noise and a loud complaint from the squid.

"Well, I landed in garbage. I hope you all feel terrible!"

"I don't!" Wednesday calls. "Do you see Artie?"

"Yes, he's here happily munching away on literal trash. You'd think you would have raised him better."

Some of the others cheer.

"Just grab him so we can be done with this." Peter calls.

"Working on it."

Suddenly an alarm come blaring to life. The group covers their ears.

"Now what!?" Bentley yelps deafly.

"Look!"

Brenden points to the ceiling, a mechanical claw descending from it, landing in the trash pile on the other side of the wall They hear Yerdey's muffled screaming.

"Artie!" Wednesday shouts.

A pile of plastic wrap and tape lands at her feet. She turns to see Peach wrapping herself in stuff like an Egyptian mummy.

"What are you doing Princess?" Wednesday asks shortly.

"Ignoring that Brenden boy's advice and protecting my dress." Peach says impatiently. "Now quickly! we're going after Artie."

"But-"

"No time for buts! Hurry!"

Wednesday begins wrapping herself and Peach fashions a lasso.

"Athena I pray my aim is true."

"Then so It will be." Athena assures her.

"Good." Peach says. "Then hold on Wednesday."

Wednesday grabs her arm. The claw begins lifting back up. Peach spins the plastic lasso and sure enough snags the claw, hoisting them into the air.

"We'll meet you back home everyone." Peach calls.

The claw retracts back to the ceiling then begins to slide down a metal rail further along through the ship.

"Hey ladies welcome to the party." They hear Yerdey call from within the grip of the claw

"Are you okay?" Wednesday says urgently.

"Yeah, no. Gonna be honest-"

"Not you! Artie."

"You're pet's fine." The squid growls at her.

They soar over the walls of crates and find most of the rest of the compartment is filled with garbage.

"Goodness where do you suppose we're heading?" Peach asks.

"Appears to be an incinerator?" Wednesday says, pointing. The rail ends right over a large chute that feeds into a great humming piece of machinery.

"Um.. Yerdey?" Peach says nervously. "Now would be the most wonderful time for you to grab Artie and teleport out of here."

"Yeah sure. Because I'm clearly NOT DOING THAT BECAUSE I HAVE A CHOICE IN THE MATTER!" Yerdey screeches at them from inside the claw. His voice sounds muffled, as if he's buried.

Peach racks her brain for a solution but it's too late. They're already over the machine.

"Brace yourself!" Wednesday shouts and a second later they claw releases them, and for the third time since the season began Peach remembers the sensation of traveling by warp pipe. The chute leads them into some kind of vacuum tube and with a lurch in their stomachs and a pounding in their heads they're sucked upwards until they come to an abrupt stop, still seemingly in the pipe.

"Is everyone alright!?" Peach calls. The princess can't move or see, she's surrounded by garbage by all sides. Near to her she can hear Wednesday and Artie.

"Artie you bad boy! We're never leaving the door open again! You hear me? Never!"

Another voice rings out somewhere outside the tube.

"That's the last of it boss."

"Good. Set the coordinates then."

Yerdey chuckles feebly.

"What is it Yerdey?" Peach asks.

"Oh nothing." The Squid says resignedly. "I just remembered what these people do with their excess garbage."

"What?"

Beat.

"You might want to brace yourself again."

A second later they're shot out of the garbage cannon with all the force imaginable.

…

Cut to another universe entirely.

Somewhere inside a television studio a camera pans over a cheering audience. It focuses in on a brightly lit stage where four characters sit on high black stools. From left to right from the centre audiences' perspective there's a purple haired girl playing video games, another robot boy, this time in blue, A edger looking man with spiked black hair and an orange Gi, and an older man in a suit and fez.

"Good evening everyone, and welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway?" Announces a voice from the crowd. "On tonight's special Total Drama Everything reunion we've got…"

A spotlight shines on the girl.

"…Always remember she's a gamer not a goth: Gaz Membrane!"

"Whatever." The Girl croaks.

"…Looking much better than he did in Captain N: It's Mega Man!"

"I thought everyone forgot about N" The Robot Boy mutters embarrassedly.

"…The man who can outlast Superman in Total Drama, but never in Death Battle: It's Son Goku."

"I'm telling you he cheated! Twice!" The man in the gi says folding his arms.

"…And everyone's favorite small-town huckster: Stanley Pines!"

"Who wants to visit the Mystery Shack after the show?!" Shouts the man in the fez.

The announcer steps onto the stage, he's an odd figure with sharp features, yellow eyes, blue grey skin and tunic, and bright blue flames for hair.

"And I'm your host Hades, Lord of the Dead. Come on down and let's have some fun!"

The audience cheers. Hades smirks approvingly.

"Hello everyone and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway? Where the score's made up and the points don't matter! We got a real great show for you tonight, a real drop dead cast a real…"

A faint screaming can be heard in the distance. Hades blinks in confusion.

"…Screaming? Real Screaming? Who's screaming?"

There's a massive crash and Hades looks up and screams, a huge pile of garbage lands on the stage like a meteor. Hades and the contestants dive out of the way. All except Gaz who watches the pile land in front of her, then wordlessly continues playing on her game.

Peach staggers out of the pile and tears off her plastic wrapping. Between it, Athena's luck, and her White Magic she's somehow manages to stay spotless.

"Well, that was awfully exciting." She says dusting herself off more of habit than anything else. "Is everyone alright?"

Yerdey groans. "I think I've discovered the worst way to travel." Beside him Wednesday sighs.

"Now where did you get us send to Peachy?"

"I'll tell you where you are!"

The three look up. Hades is storming towards them, his hair flaming up.

"You three are in big trouble!"

Cut to Endless.

Meanwhile on Conner's ship our own Rick is still lying frozen on the Fact Hunter's bathroom floor. He looks like he's been busy though. While he's still sprawled on the ground like a gargoyle blown over in a storm he's also somehow managed twitch his way over to the other side of them room, to where one of his devices lays on the ground. He rolls over onto to it and in a flash he's unfrozen.

"****! Finally!"

He gasps for air and props himself up with his arms, his broken legs sprawled uselessly behind him. He's just checking his pockets to make sure none of his other devices have broken when there's a loud roar from outside and his doppelganger and Aqua barge into the room.

"YOU!" Our Rick shouts, pulling a blaster. "You back to finish me off you son of bitch!?"

"No I'm here to get out!" His doppelganger retorts. "I quit!"

Our Rick lowers his weapon. "What?"

"I said I'm done." The other Rick says. "I wanted to steal your life to get away from my problems for a while. You know, maybe ******* relax?" He gestures to Aqua. "Instead, I've been dealing with this one and that goddamn Wookie all night."

Aqua folds her arms.

"You've been dealing with me? You're the one that's a terrible servant!"

"You're not even my Aqua are you?"

"Course I am! We're on the same team back in Endless and everything."

"Your in Endless right now." Our Rick says. Aqua laughs awkwardly.

"Uh… Same different?"

The two Rick's glance at each other. Our Rick stares at his imposter then considers something, he lowers his weapon.

"You know…" Our Rick says slowly. "Maybe I acted a little to quickly earlier. If you want to get rid of your friend here then… I don't know. Hold down the fort for me for a day, I could head back to my lab and fix this ****"

He points to his legs. The Other Rick however is already searching his coat for the portal gun.

"Thanks pal, but I'd rather deal with my own season's problems." He pulls out the gun. "Gijra, The Foundation and all that other crap Edward getting himself into aren't gonna be fun. But at least I know what to expect with them." He smirks to himself. "Besides, I'll have the first-class bar to help deal with that. You know assuming no one ****** robs it again."

"I'm just looking out for myself." Aqua says defensively. The Other Rick pauses. He glances from Aqua to our Rick, then gives them a curiously look.

"You know back in Infinite we're on our second season…" He says causally. "First season I was there but I didn't give a ****. I drank, made a little girl cry, joined the villain alliance, all that fun ****. Then halfway through the season we do… **** what was it? Like a VR challenge or something. I can't remember.

See I got blackout drunk and pulled a Vindicators. Nearly killed my whole cast." He chuckles darkly. "Paid for that **** too. In end they smashed my gun and tighten my contract."

"What's you point?" Aqua says skeptically.

"My point is there's a reason I'm playing closer to a good guy this season." Other Rick says. "These games are a popularity contest. And I mean way more than the outside world. You want to throw everyone else under the bus, stick a knife in anyone that turns their back to you?" He shrugs. "Maybe you'll get pretty far. But you don't ever ******* win. Karma's gonna **** you. Karma always ***** people like you."

"Why are you grouping me into to this?" Our Rick demands.

"You can't fool me Rick. You know you ****** someone over. I can smell it on you." The Other Rick counters. "You think I don't know what my own guilty conscious looks like?"

There's a prolonged silence at both Rick's stare down each other. Finally, Aqua breaks the silence.

"Well. I've already basically won my game. So I've got nothing to worry about."

Other Rick looks over at her and smirks. "In that case I shouldn't keep you from them."

He fires a portal under her and with a startled cry she falls out of their reality. The sight hits a recent memory in our Rick. One judging by his smirk his Doppelganger picks up on. He closes the portal and opens another one in the nearest wall.

"But seriously Rick. This is a real nice place you know? You've got a real nice thing going for yourself." The other Rick turns to give his counterpart one last glance.

"Don't blow it."

And with that he steps into the portal and disappears.

Cut to Whose Line Is It Anyways?

Back on set, the cameras are still rolling as Hades paces back and forth.

"…I get alright? I'm Lord of the Dead, I've got pointed teeth, I'm a Disney villain. But I mean cut me a break here, I'm trying to go straight, host a show, have some fun." He turns to glare at Peach, Wednesday and Yerdey, all lined up in front of him like school children caught misbehaving. "What gives you to the right to trash my gig?"

Peach steps forward. "Please Mr…"

"Hades." Hades says. "Ruler of the underworld."

"Really?" She says surprised. "My. You look nothing like Athena described. And where's your wife Persephone?"

Hades rolls his eyes. "I my canon she's hanging out on Olympus with the other goodie two shoes. Also don't change the topic on me babe."

"Sorry." Peach yawns. "It's just been a long night. We got involved with this other world, and there was an Airplane, and Cruise ship that shoots garbage into other galaxies and-"

"Time out." Hades says cutting her off. "A Cruise ship? They weren't hosting a Total Drama on that cruise ship were they?"

"As a matter of fact, they were."

Hades sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

"That explains it." He grumbles. "Cruise! Cruise! You know Mclean warned me about his fercockt shlemiel counterpart? Do I listen? Course I don't."

"Yes. He's terrible." Wednesday says. "Now give me back my Artie so we can go home."

Hades gives her a confused look. "What's an ArtIEE!"

Artie scuttles out from under Hades billowing robles. The god leaps back and grabs the creature.

"This is what you came here for? This Tithonus looking creepy crawly?"

"Yes give him back!" Wednesday insists. Hades holds her pet out of her reach.

"Hold on! I didn't say you three were off the hook. Accident or not I've still got a show to make."

"So?"

"So, I'll cut you a deal. You three do a round of my show and I'll give you your precious nightmare back alright?"

The audience cheers. Wednesday eyes Hades suspiciously. "What kind of show is this?"

"Whose Line Is It Anyway?" Hades says with a smile. "You known Improv? You sing, you dance, you shmoos…"

"Sing?" Wednesday croaks.

"Yeah. That's a fun one." Hades says more to himself. "You know let's do that one."

Peach notices Wednesday go ridged with horror beside her as the God of Death continues thinking.

"Yeah I like that." He says with a nod. "Okay here's what we're gonna do. You're gonna play a game for me called Song Styled. Trust me it's simple enough even you knuckleheads could do it. We give you a topic and genre and you make a song about it. Normally It's a single player game, but what the hey? Let's make it three player."

"Make that two player." Yerdey says.

Wednesday turns and slowly and gives him an icy look.

"What?"

"Yeah. I put up with a lot of your weird mammalian habits." Yerdey says. "But singing karaoke on a British reality show is just one step too far even for this squid."

"Actually, we're more based on the CW version." Hades informs him. Yerdey chuckles softly.

"If you'll excuse me one moment."

Yerdey sprints fast as his stubby legs can carry him towards the stage right. Wednesday trails him with a running tackle and they go flailing out of sight. Peach grins sheepishly at Hades.

"Excuse us one moment."

Hades shrugs. "Go right ahead. We need a sec to get rid of your ride." He gestures to the trash pile behind him.

She mutters a word of thanks and runs off.

"We're still on after this right?" Stan asks.

"Of course." Hades assures him.

"Good, because I've got a lot more Mystery Shack to shill."

Peach dashes into the hallway just outside the set to find Wednesday on top of Yerdey beating him senseless.

"Wednesday stop this at once!"

She pulls the girl off of Yerdey with some difficulty. Wednesday struggles out her grasp.

"Don't you start Peachy!" She snaps.

"Start what?"

"Start with the child friendly corporate fueled nonsense that I'd never know if I like singing until I try it. Or once I get out there, I'll have a good time."

"I wasn't going to say anything like that." Peach says. "But please, we're very far from home. You'll never see this people again. Just sing one little song for them and we can go back to the ship and forget all about this."

"Not if you tell everyone about this when we get back."

"Why would I do something like that?"

"Revenge for earlier."

"I don't think that way Wednesday." Peach assures her. "I promise."

The girl eyes her suspiciously

"What if I tell everyone what happened on the plane?"

Peach shakes her head. "I still wouldn't tell."

Wednesday pauses for a moment staring at Peach. Finally she sighs. "You're painfully naïve." She turns to Yerdey. "And you're helping."

"We'll see about that." Yerdey wheezes pain he reaches for his watch only to find it missing. Wednesday daggles it tauntingly in front of him. He groans. "Which is what I'd say if I had a choice."

"You don't" Wednesday says. She turns back to Peach resignedly. "We're taking this to our graves understand."

Peach smiles tiredly.

Back on stage all signs of trash have disappeared. Hades stands before the audience, Artie draped over his shoulder like a feather boa.

"And welcome back! Well ladies and germs in audience you already know the deal but we've had some of an unscripted addition to our line up tonight. Very befitting an improv show, I'm aware.

We'll have our Everything cast here in a moment. But first! We have the Endless three! Here to sing a song about their pet to the tune of an eighties pop ballad (More specifically Cyndi Lauper's Girl's just wanna have fun). Accompanied as always by our unnamed professional musicians off to the side. Take away guys!

An upset sync beat begins to play as Peach, Wednesday and Yerdey all walk onto stage, dancing in beat to the rhythm. Peach clearly her throat.

I was, under a spell some time ago.
Don't remember much of the day, but Wednesday sure knows.
She meet a friend she'd love forev-er that day.
So Artie, don't run away.
Oh Artie please don't run away.

She gestures to Wednesday who gulps then begins to sing.

We lost him at the start of the night
My worry you could…cut with a knife?
I don't what the others say.
Artie, don't run away.
Oh Artie don't go away.

Peach takes the song back.

That's all we really want.
All we have to say
Wednesday loves you and wants you to stay.
Oh Artie please don't run away
Yeah Artie don't run away

Yerdey shuffles into front of the ladies dancing reluctantly.
Artie, don't run
Artie
Don't run away

The three poses for their big finish

Even when our night's been wasted away
Oh Artie we want you to stay
Yeah Artie, don't run away!

The crowd cheers. Peach pants a looks over to Wednesday. The girl's grimacing with discomfort.

Hades applauds them.

"Nicely done you three. Let's see what our celebrity guest thinks?"

He leans over to Artie who clicks his mandibles opaquely. Hades shrugs.

"I'll count that as a 'he likes it.' Congrats kid you earned you pet back."

He crouches down a presents her, her Arthropleura. Wednesday wraps her arms around him and buries her face in his shell. Peach smiles sympathetically in spite of herself.

"Let's give our opening act a big round of applause for dropping in unannounced. From Total Drama Endless, Wednesday Addams, Yerdey Yisme, and Princess Peach!"

"Wait Peach!?" Megaman looks up suddenly. "Not the same Princess Peach from Smash?"

Peach's smile disappears. Goku's face suddenly lights up with recognition.

"Hey I remember that. We did a challenge about it back on Everything. Mandy even had to dress up as her."

"Yeah, and then Chris made Ash dress as her during the dare challenge."

"Then we did the same thing to that stupid koala!" Stan laughs. "I thought it was some dumb costume, turns out she's an actually person that wears that everyday! Completely oblivious to the fact we've been mocking her relentlessly!"

Peach turns scarlet

Stan begins cackling uproariously, only to be cut off suddenly. Wednesday's marched over to him. One hand firmly around Artie, then other clenched tightly around Stan's tie.

"None one insults my fellow contestants but me." She says in a low voice. "Understand?"

Stan nods quickly. She lets him go. Peach gives her a cautiously look.

"I don't suppose this means you're warming up to me. Does it?"

Wednesday contemplates it.

"When I dropped that statue on your head back in episode two. I was terribly disappointed it didn't kill you." She says.

"And now?"

"Now. I can tolerate my mistake." She pauses to think again. "Just barely."

Peach smiles tiredly.

Cut to Home.

The rest of the Bug Squad's waiting for them by the transporting room when the four return. Everyone breaks into a weak cheer when they see Artie in Wednesday arms.

"You found him!" Peter says.

"What took so long?" Indy says weakly. Doctor Doofenshmirtz leaning on his shoulder, fast asleep.

Peach turns to Wednesday and Yerdey, they watch her apprehensively.

"Oh, nothing exciting really. Just a little diplomacy with the locals." She smiles.

Yerdey sighs wearily.

"I owe you Princess." He says weakly.

"Everyone, this has certainly been an interesting night." Indy says. "But Wednesday for the love of god keep an eye on your pet."

The others murmur in agreement and they begin to make their way upstairs back to their barracks.

"One thing's for certain." Bentley says. "I'm glad we're on a season of Total Drama with decent beds to sleep it."

"Assuming we get more than an hour of sleep." Indy says

"At least you get to go right to bed." Peter grumbles. "I still have to finish with the…"

He trails off. Conner's waiting for them at the top of the stairs. Chewie by his side. Peter and Yerdey gulp.

"Hey boss." Yerdey says cautiously.

"Please don't murder us." Peter says.

To their surprise Conner gives them a faint smile. "I think I night without sleep's enough punishment. Get to bed everyone. We've got a big day tomorrow."

Yerdey and the contestants wordlessly march past him off to their beds. Peter stays where he is uncertainly.

"So… you're not mad?"

Conner shrugs. "A little. But to be fair, I got through this one unscathed. At least mostly. Chewie helped me out didn't you buddy."

Chewbacca roars happily.

"But seriously. Mess up a challenge again and it'll be your ass over my mantle."

Peter gives him a boyish grin. "Well… Not like I lot more chances, do I?"

"Guess not."

They watch the contestants return to their barracks. Peter sighs.

"You know. I'm gonna miss them."

Conner smiles.

"Me too."