Total Drama Endless, Episode Twenty-One.
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...
SIX MONTHS AGO
The central throughway of Falconia bustles with life.
Beneath the alabaster glow of their Holy Falcon's marble palace townsfolk wander to and fro, basking in the protection of their safe haven from the outside world.
Weaving through the crowded promenade Athena, the great Hellenist war goddess cuts an opposing figure with her hawk like eyes and golden spear. Mortal men and women clear her a path as she passes them. Flaking her are her two most loyal teammates, Yae Saotome and Lapis Lazuli. Both making ideal small talk with each other and examining the imposing classical architecture all around them with mild interesting.
In truth none of the three spares much though to the lively city, their minds focused on images of a solid gold bust of Chris Mclean, and the victory it would ensure their team.
"I still maintain we should be searching that palace." Athena says.
"Maybe, but Yae's got a hunch we should check the shop's first." Lapis insists.
Yae nods modestly. "We shouldn't overlook them." She says in heavily accented English.
"Very well then." Athena says without sounding convinced. She casts a glance over her shoulder.
"Princess! Markus! Try and keep up will you? You're falling behind."
"Coming!" Chirps a high dainty voice from the crowd.
Princess Peach emerges from the crowd her usual bubbly self. She's in sharp contrast to her allies, gazing about everything surrounding them, absolutely enraptured by it.
"Yo Peachy!"
Her faithful friend, Markus Obasi's appeared next to her. Panting.
"Don't run off like that I don't want to lose you."
"Oh but isn't it all so wonderful Markus!?" She sighs. "Have you ever seen a city this grand before?"
Markus smirks. "I mean it's aight. Could probably use like some public sanitation and a bike path or two, you know what I'm saying?"
There's no response from his friend, Markus blinks in surprised.
He looks to his right and finds Peach missing. His heart stops for a moment before he hears her humming over to the din of the crowd and his brief panic subsides.
Pushing past a group of noblewoman he discovers the Princess standing in front of a group of minstrels. She twirls around to the merry medieval tunes, her pink skirts and red cloak flowing behind her as she dances. Markus can't help but smile.
The minstrels finish their song and Peach breaks into ecstatic applause.
"Well done! Oh well done! That was wonderful!"
"Good shit you two." Markus says grinning at the musicians. "Aight for real this time Peachy. We got to keep up with the others. Say goodbye to your friends."
"Alright Markus. Goodbye you two. Best wishes."
She waves to the minstrels. Markus takes her by the hand and leads them through the crowd. Peach sighs wistfully.
"Markus?"
"What's Good?"
"You're a musician too aren't you?"
"I mean I'm a lot of things… but yeah. Most people know about the rapping."
"Then why haven't you ever played us one of your songs?" Peach inquires.
Markus laughs. "Peachy you wouldn't like my albums. They're about like killing ***** and fucking people and bunch of other shit like that."
Peach giggles. "Oh nonsense Markus. I'm sure I'd like them. I like you after all."
Her friend shakes his head, then gives her one of his playful grins.
"Aight, maybe when this game's over I'll through you a live concert or some shit."
Peach claps her hands. "Oh that'd be wonderful Markus. You truly mean that?"
"Course Peachy. I promise…."
….
ACT 3
….
A hare makes its way soundlessly through the forest. It's winter coat the same colour as the dense snowpack that blankets everything in sight.
Everything is still as it lingers from bush to bush, searching for anything to eat. The only noise being the water of the stream, trickling calmly down it's path.
A twig snaps. Two long ears stand alert. The hare stops to stare in the direction of the sound. It's forepaws miming some meaningless action. The ghost of their prior directions before survival instinct took precedent.
There's a blur of motion from the nearby bush. Too late the hare makes to run. The arrow embeds itself in its gut before it can move.
A girl, the cold making her face flush nearly as red as her hair stands up, wincing ruefully.
"I'm sorry…" She pleads with the dying creature. "That was suppose to hit you in the eye."
Beatrice shuffles over to the hare. It's hindlegs thrashing out uselessly. She hovers over it guilty, then bends down and carefully takes its head in her hands, and bends its neck backwards as far she can.
There's a discrete crunching sound and the hare goes limp. She sighs. Somehow this felt more malicious then if she had simply killed it with her first shot, but it had to be done. It was a far more humane this way.
After all, dying of a stomach wound is such a terrible way to go…
…
There camp's about a kilometre down stream. Little more then a clearing with a few logs close to the stream. They dine on roasted hare in near silence. No one acknowledges each other. No one speaks. In truth no one's really seemed themselves since the last "elimination".
"You had it coming." Amethyst blurts it suddenly, in a confrontational voice. She eyes her fellow contestants daring one of them to argue with her, when no one does she continues.
"I mean seriously? Bob? You we're all just fine giving Sideshow Bob a second chance after he tried to murder us!? What did you really think if you just talked to him he wouldn't stick a knife in our backs? Yeah. No. There's a reason my friend Steven's so special. 'Cause you have to be real good at that kind of stuff to pull it off and news flash, ya'll ain't Steven Universe."
"Give it a rest Amethyst." Bentley says tiredly.
"No! This is what I was talking about! There's a double standard around here against us shorties. They knew we would have had a problem with them bringing him so what do they do!? They keep it secret! Everyone was just oh so happy to go our of their way to rescue Indy and Peachy, but the moment the Shorties might have a completely legit reason to disagree with what we're doing it's totally fine to go behind their backs."
Again, no one challenges her. She glowers into their camp fire.
"Selfish jerks. The bunch of you. If you had of shown me some respect then Markus wouldn't be-"
"Amethyst!" Beatrice and Indy snap in unison. Amethyst glares at them. Indy returns her gaze exhaustedly.
"You made you point… We're sorry."
Amethyst folds her arms before looking away grumpily.
"You should be…"
Indy sighs and looks towards the path to the stream. Of the six remaining contestants only the Fact Hunters and Shortie Squad are in attendance. They haven't seen much of the last Flower Girl since they arrived.
"It'll be better if we get moving before too long." Bentley says. "Tonight if we can. Do we have everything we need from the Khetanna?"
Indy nods. He and Beatrice had returned to the desert craft that brought them here shortly after they had arrived.
Markus's corpse had been waiting for them there, slumped against a birch tree. If it hadn't been for the hole through his gut and the blood pooling around him it would have looked like he was sleeping. They raided the larder and armory of the ship then returned to the body. Burying it under a layer of snow. Under the circumstance it was all they could bare to do. They left as soon as they had finished. Neither of them having any desire to return.
Indy stands up slowly. The pain of a night in Jabba's torture room still burned into his aching body.
"I'll tell her we're leaving."
…
He follows her footprints on the short path to the stream, trying to keep his feet out of the deep snow banks. He's already taken the liberty of fastening his bomber jacket. All the same there's a chill running through him that has little to do with the cold.
He exits the underbrush and gets a clear sight of her from the riverbank.
Princess Peach is sitting on a large stone in the middle of a shallow part of the stream staring off into the distance, a shock of red in a landscape of white and cool blues. The Princess, her beauty once so seemingly incorruptible was now splattered with gore and blood. Bob's, Markus's and that which spilled from her own wounds. Her cloak and dress were torn and filthy, her golden locks tangled and matted.
"Peach. Come on, let's get going."
She turns to look at him. Deep streams of mascara cascade over her checks. Even looking at him her eye's seem distance, hollow. Together with the rest of her the look makes her seem like a ghost. Like the broken spirit of someone lost in Passchendaele, or Gallipoli or any of the many other charnel houses of the Great War.
"It's wasn't your fault." He says plainly.
A wave of pain reaches her from whatever faraway place she was staring into and she turns away again.
"I'm not going."
"Yes, you are. Don't be stupid."
"Go away."
"Princess stop this. You're better than that."
"No I'm not."
He hears her voice catch before she continues.
"I'm a stupid worthless girl, from a stupid little kingdom with silly little dreams in her head."
She takes the golden crown from her head and cradles it.
"I'm as pathetic as the world says am I. Leave me here. I'll just cause more pain if I stay."
"People die Peach! It's part of life!" Indy blurts out. Peach goes still. The archeologist glares at her.
"You said you wanted the real world? This is what it's like! You're not the first person to get a friend killed. I know how it feels."
She spins around to glare back at him.
"How could you ever know how this feels!?"
"I've fought in wars Princess, I've survived plagues, I've lived through a crueler world than yours."
He runs his hands through his hair.
"I've had a couple buddies die in front of me because choices I've made, and I know it's hard. I get that it's hard. But you can't linger on it. They're dead. That's it. It's over. They're gone and no amount of tears or pity's gonna bring them back."
Peach quivers like she's been struck, then slowly hangs her head desolately. Indy expressions softens slightly.
"Markus wanted us to protect you, and I don't break dying wishes easily. Alright Princess?"
Peach nods weakly. Indy gestures to the open gash in her thigh.
"We'll be leaving in five minutes. Try and wash that off so we can clean it. You could get blood poisoning leaving it like that."
…
A half hour later, the group have gathered anything worth keeping in their hammerspace and forged a narrow path through the snow. Peach following along side them, wading waist depth in the stream. The blood washing off her leaves a scarlet trail through the river.
…
They follow the river upstream for the better part of four days. Replenishing their food stocks with wild game. Nothing spoils in their inventories so meals become a jumbled mess of anything they've acquired over the merger. Narnian wine and Bantha milk wash down hardtack from the Whitmore Exhibition and are paired with strange delicacies from Jabba food store and local venison. Occasionally the odd treat appears for dessert, junk food from Springfield or one of Wonka's confectionary wonders. Something to keep morale up.
On the third day the mountains fade to foothills and the snow begins to melt. They enter into a foggy grassland, which two days later turns to desolate wasteland, void of anything but gravel.
They spent a solid week marching through that, barely speaking to one another and cutting into their rations before the mists clears, and they find themselves between jagged cliffs.
A day of squeezing between those and they stumble across a valley of something unexpected.
"Red bamboo?" Lenny says surprised. Stroking the stem of the strange plants blocking their path.
"Maybe this isn't Earth after all." Bentley muses.
"It'd should be. Or else it wouldn't have deer and rabbits and all those sorts of things." Lenny insists. He pauses to think it over. "Unless we're in another fantasy world."
A few hours of pushing through the bamboo later Beatrice suddenly finds them a wooden path.
They follow along it, crossing another stream on an ornate wooden bridge. Still the only signs of life being the chirping of birds hidden in the canopy.
"Look at it this way, now at less we know that this place in inhabited right?" Beatrice asks. "People can be a good sign."
"People can be trouble." Amethyst says.
Beatrice sighs.
"I mean… I was trying to be positive for once and not mention that."
"Since when are you the positive one?" Amethyst snarks.
"I don't know…Guess I just miss having optimists around." Beatrice admits. In truth even without the spectre of death hanging over them like a burial shroud the final six weren't exactly the most cheerful bunch. True, Lenny spends most of his time smiling, but he was too detached to be much of a spirit lifter. The others (Herself included) weren't always much fun to be around with the constant grumbling and pessimism. The only other expectations had been the two Flower Girls, Markus and Peach. Now one was dead and the other seemed trapped in a listless depression. Not that she could blame her. Beatrice herself desperately missed Markus, as well as Heinz and Tails and even Perry or Dipper at times. There was so many people in this game she hadn't truly realized she enjoyed having around until they were gone.
They pass by a small clearing, theirs a broken buddha statue in the centre of it. Beneath the erosion and the moss growing on it an expression of enlightenment still registers on its stone face.
She sighs wistfully and closes her eyes, taking in the birdcalls and the gentle breeze.
"This world's peaceful at least." She says.
"They all start that way." Indy notes.
"Village! Dead ahead!" Lenny cries suddenly.
Beatrice ruefully tears herself away from the little moment of rest and looks. A ways up their path, there does indeed seem to be the gateway to some sort of settlement.
They walk towards it. The closer they approach; the more uncomfortable Indy suddenly seems.
"What's up? You hear something?" Beatrice asks him. Indy frowns.
"No. That's the problem."
"What do you mean?"
They walk through the gate and into the town square. Beatrice's jaw falls open.
She had assumed the silence was just due to the village being abandoned. Maybe it was a summer settlement and most people wintered elsewhere. But she was wrong.
What looked like the whole village is laid out before them, every one of them dead.
She gapes at the scene in horror, the towns people hadn't been human, rather the bodies before them are all of a sort of white feathered humanoid with avian features. Their black eyes glossed over, their blue blood soaking the earth beneath their feet. Mouths full of grey needle like teeth cast open, frozen in a final expression of fear. None of the strange features make the scene easier to bare.
"Everyplace we go is worst than the last." Bentley says despondently.
Theirs a grim expression on Indy's face as they sit their surveying the scene. He steps towards the nearest pair of bodies, a mother with her child in a cloth sling over her shoulder, the garment soaked through with the infant's blood. Indy inspects it eye's narrowing, then recoils.
"We need to get out of here, now." He says sharply.
"What's wrong?" Bentley asks.
"These are fresh kills!" Indy explains. His eye's darting around suddenly. "Come on!"
He takes off running, the others follow. The implications of a village full of the recently dead not lost on them.
They haven't made it far into the forest when the culprits find them. First the birds stop singing and fly off in a panic, then comes the sounds of their pursuers themselves. A loud mechanically scuttling that grows louder by the second.
"MOVE!" Indy bellows.
The sounds all around them now. Something, no, an army of something's thundering through the bamboo, plants and shoots crumbling before them. The birds in a cacophony of hysteria high above..
They reach a clearing and the enemy comes into view. On there heels trampling the forest behind them is a horde of insectoid machines, jet black and red drones in the shape of beetles the size of cattle and with scythes for legs.
"AMETHYST!" Bentley shouts.
His ally spins around. Though his new hoverchair has done Bentley wonders, it can't keep up with the others.
"BENTLEY HOLD ON!"
Amethyst rolls into a ball and hurls herself at the nearest drone, totaling in. She seizes Bentley by his chair and sprints off with him.
"Nicely done Amethyst!" Lenny calls
She throws him a quick dirty look.
"Lenny AREN'T YOU FORGETING SOMETHING!?"
Lenny blinks twice. "Oh yes, that's right."
He holds out a hand and the nearest drone explodes. Indy, Beatrice and Peach stare at them.
"Lenny, finally found his gem powers." Bentley informs them.
"Yes, it's brilliant! I'm a technomancer!" Lenny boasts. He smashes several more machines with his powers. "I dare say there's nothing in the world can stop this gamer now!"
One of drones creeps up behind Lenny and with a clean swipe decapitates him. Lenny's head frowns as it rolls on to the floor.
"…Well except maybe that."
He poofs. The drones turn there attention back to the others.
"RUN" Amethyst sounds.
There's no need to be told twice. The others, momentary distracted by Lenny, break from their trance and break into a full sprint.
Indy's heart's thrashing about in his chest. He can see the beetles overtaking their group on either side of them.
"HURRY!"
"I CAN'T GO ANY FASTER!" Beatrice cries.
Out of the corner of his eye he sees her feet fly out from under her. Peach dives backwards to help her. But the time she reaches her they're already a drone above them.
"GIRLS!" He bellows.
The bladed feet come down on the two woman and they scream. Indy sprints desperately towards them. Suddenly there's a blinding pain across his back and he collapses to the ground. He pulls himself up, and get's himself slashed across the chest for the effort.
He falls backwards. The machines have surrounded them. Amethyst hurls fists desperately but she's hopelessly outmatched. The two girls are on the ground with him. The other two follow soon enough.
They struggle there, helplessly. One of the machines raises itself onto it's hindlegs.
"Conner wouldn't let us all die at the same time who he?" Bentley asks desperately.
To their surprised the insect doesn't immediately lunge at them. Instead, it and its comrades go still.
A compartment on the chest its chest slides open and a video screen emerges.
After a moment of static the screen shows a figure shroud in black. Four angular black antlers sticking from their head. Slowly it turns around revealing a hideous face, with a flat nose and curved fangs like a Chinese dragon. It's white bulging eyes stare down at them.
"WELL WELL WELL. WHAT POOR INSIGNIFICANT CREATURES HAVE MY ARMIES CAPTURES TODAY!?" It booms.
"LET US GO!" Peach demands.
"SILENCE!" Roars the creature. It plucks at it's chin, there's goatee there of burning red fire, similar flames sprout from either eye as if they were eyebrows.
"THERE IS SOMETHING MOST UNUSUAL ABOUT YOUR GROUP. EVEN BY THE STANDARDS OF MY DARK DOMINION OVER THE EARTH. TELL ME TRAVELERS WHERE DO YOU COME FROM?"
"We're not telling!" Beatrice insists.
"FOOLS!" Bellows the demon. One of the drones slashes her across the stomach with it's scythe like appendage. She shrieks in pain.
"We're from another universe!" Indy shouts. The machine stops, and the demon looks appalled.
"IMPOSIBLE!" He thunders. "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE COMING HERE!? SHOWING MY SUBJECTS THERE ARE PLACES BEYOND MY WRATH!?"
"We haven't even seen anyone yet dude!" Amethyst shouts.
"We're just trying to leave!" Indy says. The demon on the screen grins viciously.
"OH YOU'LL BE LEAVING ALRIGHT! JUST NOT ALIVE! AH HA HA HA!"
A drone raises it's scythe like forelimb above him, and he winces, bracing for inevitable.
There's the sharp noise of metal on metal and Indy opens his eyes. The drone above him collapses, cleaved in half by something. The machines pull their attention away from the contestants. Watching for something else.
There's a clang of metal and a flash of a blade as something slices through three beetles in a row and they explode.
Another machine dies, then another. One by one, a blur or white and silver flies between them, slicing them to ribbons.
"Are you three alright?" Bentley asks the three humans. Indy grunts in pain and feels his back. The beetle's attacks were merciful shallow. Painful, but barely drawing blood. Unfortunately, his trusty jacket seems to have finally met its match as it's been torn to pieces. He turns to Peach and Beatrice, they seem to be in the same state he is, the machines have cut their dresses to ribbons but they otherwise look fine.
"We're fine…" Indy pants. He's eyes trying to follow their mysterious savior. The air's so choked with smoke and dust from exploding drones it's hard to make them out.
After a minute the dust clears and they're standing amidst a junkyard. Their attackers reduced to black metal and green circuitry. The last machine stands upright, spasming and sparking before it falls to pieces. Behind it there savoir stands an attention. A man in a simple white kimono sheaths his katana and brushes back a few loose strains of hair back into his samurai topknot. All eyes drift to Lenny, who's just rematerialized.
"Hello you. What'd I miss?"
The others gesture to the samurai. Lenny get's an eyeful then smirks.
"…Had a sneaking suspicion it would be this…" He chuckles wearily. "Prepare yourselves folks we're in for another rough one."
He cups his hands to his mouth and bellows.
"JACK!"
The samurai turns and looks at them. He's a relatively young-looking Japanese man with a long lantern jaw and harsh eyes. Lenny waves.
"Yes! Hello you, big fan of the way you saved us there. It was much appreciated."
The samurai wordless marches over to a straw rice hat, dusts it off, then places it over his head without acknowledging them. Lenny seems unperturbed by the seemingly icy reception.
"Now, much as I'd hate to be a burden, would you mind leading to some shelter? We've been travelling long and the more human of us could use a rest."
The samurai tilts his head up and stares appraisingly at them. The six contestants stare back plainly, too tired to hide themselves behind warmth or steel. The stranger's eyes narrow, they he nods slowly and turns back into the bush. The others following.
"That's our guy for this world huh?" Amethyst asks. "Some guy in a manbun and a pair of jammies?"
"His name is Jack." Lenny explains. "At least that's what they call him here. And believe me Amethyst, there's nary a soul in all of modern storytelling who would sympathize more with our current predicament than him."
…
Indy rubs his hands and puts them up to the fire. It had starting raining shortly after they left the clearing, fortunately Jack had found them an old miller's cabin that looked as if it had been abandoned for quite some time. Now they were gathered there listening to the crackling of the fire and the hypnotic sound of rain on the roof above them.
Indy looks up from his frozen hands and glances over at Jack. The samurai's sitting with legs folded on the wooden floor. Sipping gingerly from a small porcelain cup of green tea.
"Does this friend of yours happen to speak English Lenny?" He asks his gemstone comrade. Lenny nods.
"He's something of the strong and silent type."
"Yeah, I got that."
Jack's staring at them again. Indy nods respectfully.
"Thank you for saving our lives." He says, regretting his inability to say it in the man's native tongue. Japanese was one of the few world languages he wasn't fluent in. He had meant to learn during his time in the orient, but then after Nanking…
Jack gives him another curt nod, then returns to his tea.
"It was nothing."
The door slams downstairs and a moment later Amethyst and Bentley enter the room, arms full of new clothes for the three humans.
"Amethyst where did you get these?" Beatrice asks, pulling a dirty blouse from the pile they had dropped in front of her.
"Yeah, a thank you would have been nice." Amethyst says irritably, throwing herself down into an old armchair.
Beatrice rolls her eyes and starts pulling out clothes. She and Peach are wrapped in fur blankets to preserve their decency. The machines had reduced them to wearing little more than rags and undergarments. Something Beatrice was largely unfazed by, but Peach and the others had insisted they get them some new clothes.
Indy takes out his jacket and inspects it. A long cut from collar to hem has sliced it in two. He sighs.
"I was hoping this thing would make it through the season."
"It's just a jacket, get over it. I'm on outfit number three." Beatrice says scowling down at an oversized pair of bloomers. Amethyst smirks.
"What happened to optimist Beatrice?"
"She was trampled by a giant robot." Beatrice says sourly. She turns to Lenny and Jack. "Either of you want to explain what that was about?"
Jack's eye's flash grimly.
"Aku…"
"Bless you." Amethyst says.
"No, Aku is the name of the great spirit that has enslaved the Earth." Jack clarifies. Amethyst suddenly seems a lot less smug.
"What?"
"Since ancient times, this Earth has been ruled by an evil primordial demon known as Aku." Lenny explains. "Jack's sword is the only thing that can destroy it."
Jack raises an eyebrow suspiciously. "How do you know this?"
"We're travellers from beyond your reality." Bentley says, chancing that their host will trust such an exploitation, let alone understand it. To his great relief Jack relaxes his stance and stops scowling at them like he's expecting to be attacked.
"I see..." He says softly.
He gives them one more appraising look before apparently deciding he can trust them.
"I am searching for a portal out of this terrible world. So that I may return to my own time in the past and vanquish Aku once and for all."
Indy smirks mirthlessly. "Well, that makes things simple for us."
"I don't understand." Jack says.
"As it happens, we're looing for a portal too."
"Which means you just got six new traveling companions PJ boy." Amethyst says.
Jack seems taken aback.
"I must respectfully turn your offer down."
"We're not asking." Indy assures him.
"I attract dangerous company."
"That's great and all, but following You's the only chance we have to get home." Beatrice says, pulling a simple black dress over her head. "Provided Bentley can't build us a teleport contraption."
"If it comes to that I might be able to but's It's not a guarantee. I'm not exactly Rick or Doof you know." Bentley insists. "It's better if we stick with the samurai."
"My answer is still no." Jack says firmly. Indy's nostril's flare.
"Look Jack, I'm not a superstitious man, but things happen to my group for a reason. Right now our goals are aligned. We're after a portal and if we ran into you then we're after the same one."
He meets Jacks challenging gaze. The Samurai rubs his chin thoughtfully.
"I have encountered many such portals in this world. All of them have been denied to me by Aku and his minions. As of now I am not currently on the trail of one."
"We'll find you a lead." Indy says. "We're good at that."
Jack seems deep in thought.
"I must reiterate how dangerous it would be."
"Yeah… no offense but your whole world's dangerous." Beatrice says picking out a grey coat to go over her dress. "I think our best opinion is palling around with someone who knows how to handle it."
Jack sighs.
"So be it. If you insist, I will be your guide. But I hope you know you're doing."
He extends his hand. He and Indy shake on it.
…
Jack's world is one of inconsistency. It is the most beautiful place they've been to, and the most dangerous. The most crowed and desolated. The most violent, and the most peaceful.
Mother Nature, or at the very least what she'd been forced to become no longer abides by such piety laws as she would have elsewhere. Within a few days journey, they routinely pass from snow swept tundra to scorching desert. Tranquil forests will appear completely mundane only to bleed into vibrant and exotic jungles utterly alien in every regard. They'll trek through such ecospheres, so rich and untamed in biodiversity that one would swear they'd never seen the corrupting hand of an intelligent species only to find after another day's hike that they end abruptly in industrial wastelands, seemingly scrubbed of life down to the microbial level.
Civilization too exists in a similar state. Sometimes they'll pass nothing but remote villages of friendly folk living in preindustrial arcadian paradises only to suddenly venture into the underworlds of sprawling megacity sized spaceports, so immense in the scale of the population and their corruption that they would make any of the tough costumers they met in Mos Eisley flee with their tails between their legs.
"All these environments…" Indy muses one day. They're aboard a grimy and overpacked ferry boat sailing across a turquoise sea. In the distance they pass a statue of the buddha the size of a mountain, weathered and overgrown by Indy's estimates thousands of years worth of erosion. "Was the world always like this or this all Aku's doing?"
He looks to Jack who looks to Lenny. The Samurai seemed to prefer to let him answer most of his contestant's questions about the world.
"After Aku conquered the Earth, he extended his arms to the greater galactic community." Lenny informs him. "Since then anything from anywhere's been free to do what they pleased to our beloved home planet, so long as they pay tribute to the Aku of course."
"And how long has that been happening?" Indy asks.
"Not a clue?"
"What do you mean?"
Lenny chuckles immodestly.
"Well you don't expect them to come up with everything do you? We're talking about a bloody children's show after all."
Several passengers give Lenny a look, as does Jack but he doesn't question things further.
Their host had proved himself to be remarkably reserved. He was polite, courteous, but rarely spoke when it wasn't needed. None of this really surprised Jones. He was studied enough in the ways of feudal Japan to know this sort of behavior was typical. Jack was a samurai, of course he followed the code of Bushido, albeit far more honorably than his countrymen in Indy's time did.
"That's the last of them."
It's weeks later. Indy stows a rifle back into his hammerspace. He's standing in a windswept desert valley, scowling down at the corpse of a robotic bounty hunter.
They've had a great number of similar encounters. Whenever it seemed least convenient some android or demonic maniac would come shrieking out of nowhere, vowing to destroy them in the name of Aku and the reward he had placed on their heads.
Lenny in a particular was very good at dealing with them but in truth by now they'd all grown quite accustom to dispatching such threats.
The other six recomposes themselves, all surrounded by dead machines. Beside Indy Jack busies recomposing himself the same way he often does after battle, sheathing his sword and pinning his hair back up.
"I thought it was dishonorable for a samurai to have his topknot fall out?" Indy says.
"Times have changed." Jack says bluntly. "I am the last samurai, which means I have some freedom over when to obey our customs."
"Wouldn't you be a Ronin if you don't have a master?"
"My master, is the Emperor, my father." Jack says.
Peach seems to slip momentarily from the malaise that's griped her since Markus died.
"You are the Prince of Japan?" She asks softly. Jack nods.
"I was… when there was such a place as Japan."
There's silence for a moment as they turn back to tending to themselves. Then suddenly, Jack asks.
"There is no Aku in your worlds correct?"
It's the first question he's asked them that's not related to their immediate survival.
"Correct." Indy says.
"What has become of my homeland in your time?"
Indy hesitates. Both Peach and Jack are watching him. Somewhere in the back of his mind horrible memories resurface.
"They're a peaceful nation. Kind, just, and prosperous." He lies.
Jack smiles in relief, a rare gesture from him. Peach nods quietly and looks away, sadly. Once upon a time she'd believe a pleasant lie like that, but now It seems such trust is gone.
…
Autumn forests, golden fields, desert citadels, emerald hills, rice paddies, volcanic wastes, icy peaks, mechanical graveyard, broken cities, evil factories, calming meadows, fungal forests, desolate sea stacks, abandoned kreposts, tiered metropolises, ancient kingdoms, blistering sand dunes, frigid tundra, pink wonderlands, toxic jungles, bubbling expanses of red viscera, forests of yellow unblinking eyes, fairy forests, nightmare castles, dreamlike paradises.
The gang marches solemnly through all of them, tiny specks in the unending wonders of Aku's Earth.
Though it's takes him many weeks and a good deal of collaborating with Bentley, Indy slowly begins to make out the Earth's real geography under all the strange and alien biomes.
To the best of his guesswork, they landed the Khetanna near the estuary of the Amur river in Siberia. From there they had journeyed to the south west, dipping into Manchuria (encountering several lakes and seas that weren't there in his time.) and the eastern Gobi Desert. At some point there, they must have gotten turned around because four weeks after they arrived a broad sloped volcano with a wide caldera dominates the horizon, one that must surely be Mount Paektu, the famed stratovolcano on the Korean-Chinese border. From there they spend another week and a half venturing down the Korean peninsula, then departing from a sprawling cluster of slums and factories that might have once been Busan, they take another ferry across the sea to Kyuku, southern most of the four Japanese Home Islands.
"Ugh, we're getting anywhere with this searching." Amethyst grumbles. It's the early evening, they're back in a rainy bamboo forest, this one however looks far more natural than the first one they encountered.
Jack adjusts his new straw hat. They had seen him lose, then a reweave a hat so often they had all lost count to how many he had gone through. It's something it seemed it did as often as he had to repair tears in his kimono.
"I know you are all very tired with our lack of progress, which is why I have reached out to some old acquaintances for help."
"You have friends?" Beatrice says surprised.
"Is that odd?" Jack asks.
Beatrice shrugs. "I don't know, you kind of seem like a loner type. You know? Not exactly someone that goes asking for help."
"It was Lenny's idea." Jack admits.
They slosh across the wet ground until they see their destination. There in the middle of the forest is a lone pagoda, it's windows glowing with the promise of warmth.
They step through the front door, finding the place to be a tavern. The patrons are the usual flavour of oddities that inhabit the earth. Everything to geishas to cowboys, to knights and centurions, to alien tough customers, and even three or four gentlemen sitting by the fire that appear to be elves.
That's the one nice thing about this world that can't be said about all the other places they've been. For once on their travels, the gang's never looked out of place.
They approach the bar. The Barkeep, a black man with a goatee and gold earing stops polishing the mug and looks up in surprise.
"Yo yo Jack my man! 'bout time you showed you're face back 'round here!"
"Oh. Yes. Hello again." Jack says, seeming just as surprised to see the man.
"Is your friend Jack?" Indy asks skeptically.
"Fo sure I am!" The Barkeep says, proudly placing an arm around Jack's shoulder. "Me and Jack go WAY back! Meet at this here very tavern couple years ago, said he'd help me earn my old title of DA SAM-MUH-RAH! But he ran out on me after lesson one."
"I assumed you would go out and forge your own path." Jack says awkwardly. The Barkeep laughs.
"Oh Hell nah! That sounds hard. I just figured I'd wait here for you to come back, which you did! Anyway Jacky, what can I do you for? How can I serve you?"
"My companions and I would like some refreshments while we wait for our acquaintance."
The barkeep nods. He glances around at the contestants; his eyes settle on Peach and gasps. Materializing by her side a second later.
"Well hel-lo baby! Ayo what's a fine young thang like you doing hanging with Jack huh?"
Peach turns away and pulls her filthy rag of a cloak tight. The barkeep raises an eyebrow.
"Excuse me honey!? I asked how you doing? Don't give me no cold shoulder mama!"
He pinches her backside. Instantly Peach spins around, the bloodstained spear out of her hammerspace, it's sharp edge a hairsbreadth from the barkeep's windpipe. He throws his hands up in a panic.
"YO YO YO! I WAS JOKING YO! I was messing with you! Oh, please for the love of god don't kill me!"
The fury in Peach fades as quickly as it appeared. She puts back the weapon and looks away shamefully.
"I'm sorry."
The other patrons are staring now. The Barkeep, Jack and Indy exchange a look.
"Would it be possible to get a private room?" The archeology asks.
…
They're led up to the fifth floor and given their own room while they wait for the barkeep to bring them some warm beverages. The room is in classical Japanese fashion sparse but cozy, with paper walls, cushions on the floor and a low table.
As the seven of them sit there drying off from the rain, the door slides open. A red skinned muscle bond alien stands in the doorway, grinning sadistically.
"Sorry to interrupt the slumber part ladies, but Aku's put a bounty on all your heads and I'm about to collect it!"
Amethyst grumbles. "Who's turn is it to deal with this?"
"Mine." Beatrice says.
She causally pulls a laser blaster from her hammerspace and shoots the creature between the eyes. He staggers, circuitry sparking from the hole in his head, then falls over, inert.
"It'd be nice to eat in peace for once." Beatrice sighs. She turns to Jack. "You're a patient guy for putting with that for so long."
Jack shrugs. "It is an occupational hazard."
Then settle back down but it's not long before their door's thrown open, and a spindly chameleon in a cowboy hat is glowering at them with a sideways smile. His hands hovering over the six shooters in his holsters.
"Well howdy folks! Look's like ya'll are having a nice time. Too bad I'm gonna bag ya'll up and send to Ak-"
Jack hurls his sword at the bounty hunter. It's sliced in two, once again revealing its robotic interior, then self destructs harmlessly.
"Maybe we should wait for your friend somewhere safer." Bentley proposes.
The door slams open again. Amethyst groans.
"Seriously! Can't you dumb robots take a hint!?"
She makes to slug the newcomer in his massive gut. He effortlessly blocks her fist with his open palm.
"Aye, there be nothing mechanical about me Lassie."
He steps into the room, the newcomers a large man in Highland dress, white ghillie with torn sleaves, tartan kilt and sash, sporran pouch, and even a set of bagpipes. His hair's a rusted orange colour and he has an extensive set of matching eyebrows and mutton chops.
"'cept of course me leg."
He shows them his right leg, which has ben replaced with a submachine gun. Jack rises to great the Scotsman, granting him one of his rare smiles.
"It its good to see you again my friend. Thank you for coming all this way."
"Course I came ya dafty pajama dresser! Soon as I was startin' to hear talk of you're new clan you've made for yourself hear I figured I'd be stoppin' by to get a look at them." He surveys the contestants. Then raises an eyebrow. "Though I must say I've know you keep better company than this Jackie. What's the matter with you lot? Yer lookin' a bit peely wally." He points at Lenny. "'cept of course that gommy lookin fair folk. Or whatever strange star beast he be."
"Actually, I'm from Northwood." Lenny corrects him. "It's part of Greater London."
The Scotman looks appalled.
"You've got a bloody Englishman in your company!? Bonnie blazes Jack haven't I taught ya anything!?"
Amethyst chuckles. "Alright, never mind. This guy's alright."
"Yes, he's a fan favorite for a reason that Scotsman." Lenny smiles. "Even had a decent showing in the controversial fifth season, wouldn't you agree Mark-"
He cuts himself off suddenly. The others are staring at him in horror. Lenny clears his throat awkwardly.
"Sorry, still getting used to…" He trails off leaving them all in a horrible state of faux-pas.
The Scotsman flops down on the floor and pulls out a map, laying it out before them.
"Right. That's enough banter. Let's get to business shall we?"
…
Thirty minutes later, the gang's all crowded around the map when the Barkeeper arrives with there drinks.
"Yo sorry about the wait, this place is bustling tonight. Must be the weather or something." He apologies.
His remark goes unnoticed, as everyone's in the room's too focused on the friendly argument between the Scotsman and Jack.
"…Aku has already destroyed all these portals you have mentioned."
"Oh really? Every last one from here to Timbuktu?"
"You know how powerful Aku is."
"Aye…" The Scotsmans remarks ruefully in his thick Highlander accent. He scratches a spot under his left eye.
"Okay, I've got one more lead, one that even that blether tree ogre wouldn't know about… First you journey north to the town of Kojima-"
"I have already tried that one." Jack says.
"What!?" Yelps the Scotsman. "You're joking!"
"The guardian would not let me pass."
"Ah that Lavvy heid-Eejit…" Grumbles the Scotsman.
"I bet you we could take this Guardian guy eight on one." Amethyst boasts. Jack shakes his head.
"Unfortunately I disagree."
"What ya'll talking about anyway?" The Barkeep inquires, taking a peek over the Scotsman's broad shoulders at the map. The Scotsman covers it and glares at him.
"Oy! Ya mind shoving off? These here be private matters."
"It's alright. The Barkeep is no spy of Aku." Jack says.
"Were looking for a portal to get out of this place." Bentley says. The barkeep shakes his head and tuts sympathetically.
"Ain't we all these days…" He scratches his chin thoughtfully.
"You know speaking as a former jerk myself, If I was the bad old Shogun of Sorrow I'd keep a bunch of time portals in my own personal collection. Just to lord it over my enemies that I have them, and they don't. Maybe ya'll better hit him up, sneak into his old evil lair and give him a taste of some samurai WA-POW and see what he's packing. Know what I'm saying?"
"That's a terrible idea." Beatrice says bluntly.
"No, he's got a point." Indy admits.
The others given him a look of disbelief.
"You want to seek out a fight with Aku." Beatrice says mortified.
"Doctor Jones, if you so greatly desire to die I recommend you do it honorably with a Kaishakunin and a tanto." Jack insists disapprovingly.
"I didn't say I like the idea" Indy says tersely.
"You're on to something Doctor, fighting Aku is climatic, which is exactly the kind of thing Conner seems to like drawing us into." Bentley muses.
"He is the primary antagonist of this world, it'd make sense that we have to do battle with him to leave it." Lenny adds.
"That's what they said about Lord Voldemort and we never fought him." Beatrice counters.
"Aku was the first person we meet in this world, I don't think that's by accident." Indy says. "Knowing Conner I'd think he'd want us to meet again."
"That's a terrible burden to place upon your shoulders." Jack says. Indy growls bitterly.
"He wouldn't see it that way. He thinks it terms of rantings. We're just the pawns."
Beatrice sighs. "Still, he needs to learn to branch out, this is what? The fourth time we're gonna have to fight our way of a world."
"I don't think he had all of those planned." Bentley says. "The battle in Atlantis? Sure? But what happened with the monorail was part poor planning and unfortunate circumstance on our part. As was well…" He clears his throat awkwardly. Trying to avoid the subject. All the same he casts a cursory glance at Peach. The Princess fixes her gaze on Indy.
"Do things really have to end that way again?" She asks.
"If were wrong about this… I don't even want to think about what could happen." Beatrice says.
Indy furrows his brow and scowls at the map. His eyes flicker over to Jack.
"How close is his Aku?"
"Close. The demon's evil reign over the Earth is conducted his palace in just east of my home on Honshu. He has constructed a vast city in a large valley where in my time there was but a small village known as Edo. However, I must warn you again Doctor. Intentionally picking a fight with Aku is a feat only the most brave or foolish warrior will persue. I will fight with you, but only if you absolutely believe it is what must be done."
Indy takes off his hat and rubs face wearily. Since they've been on the run the entire time they've been here he's yet to find time to shave, and a unkept beard is starting to sprout over his features.
"Aku's all I got." Indy says resignedly. "If anyone's got any other plans, any objections, now's the time to hear them."
He looks around to all of them, Beatrice shifts her weight on the hardwood floor, the heels of her boots squeaking on its polished surface. No one else makes much of a noise for a few moments after that. Amethyst folds her arms.
"I don't know about you dweebs, but us Shorty's are always ready to tussle aren't we Bentley?"
"...Of course." Bentley agrees half heartedly.
"Aye, count me in too." The Scotsman says merrily. "I've been searching for an excuse to wrestle that Hotten-Blaugh Bowfin-Howlin' Nyaff for ages now."
Amethyst laughs. "That's what I'm talking about bro! Show me some skin!"
She high fives him. The others look far less enthusiastic but don't complain. Indy gives the Barkeep a resolved look. "Guess were going for your plan."
"Man, I didn't expect you to actually go for it." The Barkeep says somewhere between the impressed and appalled. "Ya'll players be crazy. I like that. Second drinks on me if you want 'em. Can I tempt anyone?"
"Yeah, what's your policy of serving alcohol to minors?" Beatrice asks.
Indy gives her a hard nudge in the ribs.
"Hush."
…
The Barkeep agrees to let them spent the night in their room, something there all thankful for. Even then Indy spends several hours tossing and turning. The hard floor, and the Scotsman's snoring keeping him up. To say nothing of the impossible task before them, raking over his mind like the claws of some terrible beast. He's only just started to drift off when someone shakes him awake.
He grumbles unhappily and with great difficulty opens an eye. He can just make out the figure of Bentley looming over him in the darkness. The turtle puts a finger to his mouth before Jones can speak.
"Meet me downstairs."
…
The bars largely empty by the time Indy gets there, save for most of the contestants gathered around a dying fire in the hearth. Bentley sits in an armchair close to it, tinkering with the hoovering chair he got from Tatooine. Since they had arrived the turtle had been near constantly taking parts and weapons from the many mechanical foes they've encountered, storing them in his hammerspace then making modifications to his chair during any rare down time they had.
Indy walks over to him, Beatrice, Peach and Lenny are already present. To the archeologists mild surprise there's no sight of Bentley's team mate.
"Is Amethyst still asleep?" He asks.
"Out like a rock." Lenny says.
Bentley scowls. "Good. If she ever asks this meeting never happened comprendre?"
"Are we finally getting rid of her?" Beatrice asks. Bentley gives her a look.
"No… But this is about the eliminations. The way they've been going lately It's not sitting right with me."
"I think we can all agree what happened last time can't happen again." Indy says.
"Well it won't." Bentley says. "This time there's not going to be any worrying over who get's left behind in the heat of battle. I've already decided it'll be me."
The others look taken aback.
"Bentley…" Indy begins.
"Someone has to stay Jones. Better we decided now."
"I'll stay." Peach says miserably.
Indy frowns "Don't be stupid Princess, Markus wouldn't want that and you know it."
Peach hangs her head in shame. "I don't care, I'm forfeiting the game."
"Guys just get rid of me already." Beatrice says tiredly. "We all know you're just keeping me here out of pity."
Bentley shakes his. "No. It has to be me. I'm the one responsible for what happened to Yao and Markus. I owe this to them."
"Jesus Christ Bentley, will you stop with that?" Indy says shortly. "The whole noble sacrifice thing is all 'noble' and 'honorable' and all that shit but I can't afford that nonsense now. I need you acting rational."
"I am." Bentley says. "It's not just that I'm being selfless. I've been thinking a lot about this. Let's say worst case scenario Conner doesn't rescue me like he's promised us he would. For as much as a screaming nightmare this world is, there's plenty of technology here. I could build myself enough gadgets to eck out a living. Who knows Beatrice might be right, with enough time and could built my own portal. Find my own way home."
"You know Amethyst isn't going to stand for this." Indy warns.
"Amethyst won't find out until it happens."
"Oh, she'll take that great!" Beatrice comments. Bentley frowns.
"I know she's not gonna to be happy about this, but I'm doing it for the team. And promise me you'll be patience with her after I'm gone understand? I know she's abrasive, but she's a good person deep down, and she's the best chance my team's got left. I may be ending my game but I don't want this to be the end of the shorties. Think about me, Yao, Tails, Tomoko and the bunch before you axe Amethyst alright?"
Indy folds his arms. "I make no promises. And I'm not letting anyone quit on my watch."
"Then let's do this the old fashion way." Bentley says. "Show of hands who votes for Princess Peach to got home?"
Peach raises her hand. No one else does.
"What about Beatrice?"
No one puts their hands up. Bentley nods.
"Amethyst's vote would be for Beatrice." He says. "She still complains about you occasionally."
"Good to know." Beatrice says sarcastically.
"Right." Bentley says. "Now who votes for me?"
He raises his own hand, as does Lenny. After some hesitation Beatrice and Indy put their hands up as well.
"That's a majority." Bentley says, resolvedly. "Now it's official, I'm eliminated."
"Right then." Lenny says. "Well good job on making this far. You've done all your former PlayStation exclusive friends and real service. Now do you intend on leaving now or…"
"I'll stick with you until you get to the portal if that's alright." Bentley smiles half-heartedly. "I know it's not customary, but when has this game ever cared about stuff like that."
"If I were you I'd used the time to come to terms with your choices." Indy says.
Bentley smirks. "Oh I assure you we wouldn't be having this talk if I hadn't. Amethyst's the one I'm worried about."
"That's smart of you." Beatrice yawns.
She gets up and heads back to bed, Lenny and Peach right behind them as well. Indy turns to leave himself but he lingers for a moment.
He turns back to the fire, Bentley already resuming his work.
"You're sure-"
"I guarantee you I'm being pragmatic here Jones." Bentley cuts him off. "I've done all the numbers, this is my best chance to see good old Sly and Murrey again."
"You better hope they're not pissed you gave him the money."
The ghost of a smile creeses Bentley's expression.
"Well now… just because I'm giving up getting the money the official way doesn't mean there's no chance me and the Cooper Gang won't get our hands on it."
"Really?" Indy asks. "I thought you said you and your friends weren't thieves."
Bentley looks around.
"So long as Conner's got his invisible cameras on us, the answer is no. But…" Bentley clears his throat. "You didn't hear it from me but my friends have a certain set of skills that tend to come in handy." He chuckles and takes off his think lensed glasses to polish them. "Once you get the prize money I'd keep a close eye on it, otherwise I might be as pesty as I was back in Mahri Nui."
Indy gives him a skeptically look. "You think I'm gonna win this thing?"
"Sure. After Amethyst you'd be my second pick. You're not a bad player. Well… you know. For a Fact Hunter that is."
"Gee, thanks." Indy says slightly sarcastically. "Good Game Bentley."
He offer the turtle his hand, Bentley smiles.
"Good game."
They shake.
…
At some point in the long and chaotic history of this world Kyushu and the main island of Honshu stopped being distinct entities. Rather some force, perhaps the shifting flow of nature, perhaps an ancient conqueror re-enacting Alexander's siege of Tyre, perhaps the strange whims of Aku, has made a land bridge between the two. The Home Islands have not been spared the oddities of this Earth, but every now and again they find something left over from Japan. A Buddhist monetary here, and Shino shire there, scraps of culture from a society long buried under the thumb of a chaos god.
"May I ask something selfish?" Jack says about a week after they've left. The groups currently snaking across a narrow mountain path the wind howling past them.
"What?" Indy.
"That path." Jack says pointing at a fork in the road. "It leads us away from where we are going, but if we follow it we'll find a valley where we can rest without fear of being attacked."
"How can you be sure?"
Jack looks grave. "Because it was my home."
…
Everything in the valley is immersed in a sea of jade.
The moss and grass blankets nearly everything but the river. Scattered here and there, half buried in plant growth there's the eroded remains of a dragon statue, or the distinct square outline of stone foundation.
All that's left of a once great city.
The princess stands there in the dying light of evening, her black dress rippling in the light breeze.
Peach draws her dirty cloak close to her. By now it's little more than a shawl that barely reaches her elbows.
Below her she watches Jack. The Samurai siting with his legs folded in the centre of the largest foundation in the valley. A stick of incense burning as he prays in his native tongue to a half buried bell branded with some sort of emblem.
"Kyoto!"
Peach turns around. Lenny's standing behind her. He grins apologetically.
"My bad. Just thinking out loud."
"Oh… That's alright."
Lenny looks around with that appraisingly look he always seemed to favour. Even in the face of all they had been through he still had the habit of greeting every new place like a tourist on holiday.
"Yes indeed." He comments to himself. "I don't believe it was every confirmed to the be the case, but judging by the location I think I can safely say Jack's kingdom is supposed to be in Kyoto."
"Oh…" Peach says uncertainly. The statement meaningless to here. "What is Kyoto?"
"The old capital of Japan before it was moved to Tokyo. Beautiful city, lot's of old classical Japanese architecture people go mad about." He grins at her. "Birthplace of Shigeru Miyamoto you know."
She looks at him in surprise. Something within Peach manages to rend itself from endless sea of emptiness inside her.
"It is?"
"Oh yes, Nintendo of Japan's still based there. Has been since the 1880s." Lenny chuckles. "I suppose you could say that in way this valley's your birthplace too princess. Least in my world it is."
Peach looks around and the crumbling ruins with a new sense of place. Struggling to picture what they once were, what they could have been. A question surfaces in her mind. One she's almost afraid of.
"Lenny?"
"Yes Princess?"
"What was Japan like in your world? Indy doesn't want to say."
"Hardly surprising given the what time period his films are set in." Lenny says.
"They did something evil didn't they?" Peach blurts out suddenly. Lenny gives her a half smile.
"About a hundred years ago they pulled a proper Bowser move and invaded their neighbours." He tells her. "Did some rotten things yes, and paid for him. But they changed, rebuilt, moved on. Became a cultural and economic powerhouse, and a bloody good source of entertainment."
"But they still did something horrible." Peach says.
"Well yes. But that's not what defines a country. Every nation in my world's got a dark history. Hell, I'm speaking as a Brit for pities sake. We were invading before places far before Japan got into the habit. Only reason no one ever made us pay for it is down to the fact we were too sodding good at conquering to be bested in war. Britannia rules the waves in all that after all."
He chortles.
"Anywho. I'm not saying Japan's perfect, but and the end of it, this country is destine to be one of the greats." He pauses. "…Or at least it is in my time. In this timeline I suppose it's all gone."
Peach nods, eyes back on Jack.
When he's finished his prayers he find Peach watching him sympathetically from the ruins of the doorframe.
"I'm sorry for you're loss."
Jack bows his head respectfully. "Thank you."
He gets up and makes to walk back to camp.
"I can't imagine what it be like to lose your kingdom." Peach says.
Jack stops and sighs mournfully.
"I was just a boy when Aku came. I trained for years to claim vengeances but… when he was on the verge of defeat Aku tore open a portal in time, and left me here, in this terrible future. The demon has taken everything from me."
"I'm sorry." Peach says quietly.
"It's not your fault." Jack insists. "It is my burden to make this right… but your kindness is appreciated."
He looks off into the distance hills. The valleys filled with quiet sounds. Birdsong, wind and the distance chatter of there friends in the distance. Jack inhales calmly.
"This world is strange and cruel, and so much of it is outright evil, but it never ceases to amaze me the effect a little kindness can have on it."
…
It's not long after they've set out from the ruins of Jack's home, they reach the edge of Aku's City. Amethyst and the Scotsman manage to snag them passage on a freight train near the outskirts of the city, saving them the hassle of trying to traverse it on foot.
And what a blessing that turns out to be.
Nothing they've seen on there travels, Not Atlantis, Not Falconia, not even the labyrinthine depths of Willy Wonka's factory come close to the scale of this megalopolis.
Everywhere they look spires of black contorted spires with red windows stretch from the surface far below to the crimson sky above. Flying cars and starships weaving between through the night.
"Soon Laddies!" The Scotsman calls, sticking his fact out the open door to their car and laughing. "Soon we'll be at the doorstep of Aku! And just about the bonnie best fight of your wee lives!"
"Already looking forward to dude!" Amethyst assures him. The Scotsman cackles.
"That's the spirit Lass!"
He and Amethyst go on boasting loudly. Beatrice meanwhile rolls her eyes and walks off.
She strolls into the next car (usually a difficult feat but this train seems to have passages between them.) and sits down next to the open door. Intend on having some time in peace before what promises to be another very chaotic fight.
Someone else enters the car and she looks up.
It's Peach.
"May I sit next to you?"
"Be my guest." Beatrice says.
The princess sits down carefully. After everything there's still a manner of grace the princess carries herself with. Things like dusting off a seat before she sits then straightening the hem of her dress. Subtle little gestures that seemed hard wired into her, no matter where she when.
"So…" Beatrice says ideally, lapsing into small talk in spite of her better judgement. "It'll be good finally get out of here right?"
She's only half expecting the Princess to reply, but she does so hesitantly.
"I suppose. Even though we're leaving behind…. The um… forest…"
"…Where Markus died." Is the unspoken second half of the sentence. Beatrice puts it together herself and winces in shame.
"Right. Yeah, that's um. I mean that must feel pretty complicated for you. Sorry for bringing it up."
"It's fine." Peach assures her. "Truly it's fine. There're those like Jack who have so lost so much more than me. It's high time I start trying to move on." She lets out a paned sigh. "I just wish it would stop hurting."
"You're grieving, I get it it's natural." Beatrice says. "For you're first time you're holding up alright. I've seen people deal with loss way worst than you. There was this woodsman back where I'm from." She rolls her eyes. "That was a whole thing, trust me. You don't want me to get into it."
Peach perks up slightly "Tell me more about your home Beatrice."
Beatrice looks surprised. "What? The Unknown?"
"Yes, you never talk about it. It's one big unknown."
"No, no It's actually called The Unknown." Beatrice corrects her. "At least that's what my family calls it."
She picks a hair off the dark grey overcoat she's worn since the attack by the beetles
"The Unknown's like this place full of woods and rivers and forests, I don't how big is it is or where. Might even be part of the The Void Yerdey was talking about. AKA you know… the space between dimensions." She adds, getting an eyeful of Peach's confused expression.
"Who else lives there besides you're family and the woodsman? And I suppose, those two boys I hear some talk of."
"Who Wirt and Greg? They aren't from around where I'm from. I think they were just passing through. People do that sometimes. But people live there too. Not really in cities, but there's plenty of schoolhouses and regular houses and towns and mills and cabins and all that. Filled with people and witches and frogs and pumpkins and songs, lot of songs actually. People sing at random, it's a whole thing."
Peach smiles faintly. "I sounds like a wonderful place Beatrice." The girl shrugs.
"It's fifty fifty. Some good, some bad." She sighs. "I miss it though."
Peach nods sadly. "I miss home too."
They lapse into silence for a moment, watching the dystopic scenery pass before them. Beatrice looks up. Just visible through the air think with polluted clouds is the soft glow of the moon.
"The moon's always the same. You ever notice that?" She asks.
"What do you mean?" Peach asks.
"No matter where we go it's almost always the same Moon."
Peach looks herself. Now that Beatrice mentions the moon does look identical to how is looks hanging over the Mushroom Kingdom. Same features and all. Peach beams.
"It's like a little piece of home."
"Yeah…" Beatrice sighs.
"Beatrice?"
"Yes?"
"Could do you do one more thing for me?"
Beatrice looks confused. "Maybe. What is it?"
"Sing me a song from your world."
Beatrice puffs out her checks and blushes red like she normally does when embarrassed.
"Oh you don't want to hear me sing, I mean not again. Besides and I'm terrible at it and there all old fashion. You wouldn't like them anyway."
"Oh nonsense Beatrice. I'm sure I'd like them. I like you after all."
Beatrice sighs resignedly.
"Alright… I guess I really owe you anyway. Just… you know… please don't laugh."
She takes a deep breath and begins to sing a quiet little folk song.
"Hi! says the blackbird, sitting on a chair,
Once I cour-ted a lady fair;
She proved fickle and turned her back,
And ever since then I'm dressed in black.
Peach sits listening, smile growing on her lips.
Hi! says the blue-jay as she flew,
If I was a young man I'd have two;
If one proved fickle and chanced for to go,
I'd have a new string to my bow."
Then to Beatrice's horror the princess's eye's begin to swim and she starts crying. She pauses uncertainly.
"Don't stop." She says stiffly. So Beatrice carries on, the Princess weeping was she does.
Hi! says the little leather winged bat,
I will tell you the rea-son that,
The reason that I fly in the night
Is because I lost my heart's delight.
Hi! says the little mour-ning dove,
I'll tell you how to gain her love;
Court her night and court her day,
Never give her time to say "0 nay."
She's going through the motions now, letting the old rhymes come back to her. Trying to do justice to the way her mother would sing them.
Hi! says the hawk unto the crow,
If you ain't black then I don't know.
Ever since old Adam was born,
You've been accused of stealing corn.
Hi! says the crow unto the hawk,
I understand your great, big talk;
You'd like to pounce and catch a hen,
But I hope the farmer will shoot you then.
Hi! says the robin, with a little squirm,
I wish I had a great, big worm;
I would fly away into my nest;
I have a wife I think is the best.
The Princess beams at her as she finishes, tears still streaming down her face. She wipes them away with a sleave.
"Thank you, Beatrice. I needed that."
Beatrice grabs her arm, still looking embarrassed.
"It's nothing. Just trying to be nice for once."
She looks away.
"Probably better than the last song I gave you huh?"
Peach let's out a little laugh.
…
The closer they approach to the black heart of the evil city the more they feel Aku's presences closing in around them like a vice. It's more than metaphorical. As they close in on the centre of the city, billboards and statues being appearing more and more, all depicting Aku's likeness doing everything from lording triumphantly over conquered villages to trying the newest brand of laundry detergent.
Bentley tries not to pay any of this any mind has he works. He's laying against a large crate tinkering away on his chair. Amethyst sitting on a box besides him, swinging her legs like an impatient child.
"So once that portal opens who we throwing under the bus?" Amethyst asks.
Bentley looks up from his work. "Hmm?"
"Who we getting rid of?"
"Oh, Beatrice obviously. You're right about her. She's not contributing enough to the group, and she's a threat to the two of us." He says. It's a premeditative lie. One he's always cleared with the others. The past two weeks have kept him busy preparing for this day. He's spent most of his waking hours, confirming things with Jack, The Scotsman, and his former fellow contestants, adding gadgets to his chair, and most important of all, trying to butter up Amethyst.
Amethyst chuckles.
"Glad you're finally seeing things the right way."
"Well I can't argue with logic."
"No you can't fool!"
She leaps down from the crate and slams up on the back.
"See? This is why you've made it this far Bentley. With you're brains and my talent, us Shorties got this game in the bag."
He abandons his work, there's not much more he's going to finish in time, and he can't focus anyways.
"Remember just don't take it too personally if the others get rid of me alright? It's all just a game after all."
Amethyst rolls her eyes. "Uh yeah. Like that'll happen. You and me and going all the way to the finale easy."
"Oh I know. But I just figure it doesn't hurt to have a plan B In case-"
"Zip it Bentley that's quitter talk." She snaps. She shifts expressions into something softer. "But seriously though, stop worrying, we got this alright?"
She extends a hand. "For the team?"
Bentley winces slightly. "For the team." He repeats.
The two of them play out the fiendishly overcomplicated Shorty Squad secret handshake. Bentley give his all to it, putting in more flair than it normally would.
After all, doing something for the last time was always a special occasion wasn't it?
…
The black tower isn't in many ways that distinct from its neighbours when they approach it. In a way that makes it more unsettlingly. Evil is so often a perversion of the natural order, but so long had Aku been master of the Earth that his presences no longer felt distinct. He was perfectly in place with the system, because the system was his own creation. So much so that the only real difference his ancient fortress had from the skyscrapers and arcologies surrounding in was the lack of windows.
"This is the place." Jack says. "I hope desperately that you all prepared."
"No, but when's that ever stopped us." Beatrice says.
Jack gives her a look of alarm.
"It's a joke." She clarifies.
Jack nods. Bentley turns to Indy and lowers his voice.
"Soon as the portal opens, Me, Jack, and the Scotsman will distract Aku, the rest of you go through soon as you can, there won't be any time for long goodbyes."
Indy nods.
"Good luck."
"Same to you Jones."
"Right, let's get a move on already!" The Scotsman declares.
He marches right up to the tower, stands there facing its black uniform wall soleemly for a moment, then raises an eyebrow.
There's a button there, on the side of the tower. He presses a stubby finger to it and a doorbell chimes. The musical little note drawn out of the course of a few seconds.
They wait with dread for a few moments before… nothing.
The Scotsman scowls and presses the button again. Again nothing happens.
He snarls then starts pounding on the wall.
"OY! AKU!"
"WHAAAT!?" Boom a great voice from within the tower.
"GET OUT HERE AND FACE US YOU GREAT BAWBAG-FACED JOBBY-MUNCHING GLAIKIT!"
Part of the black wall of the tower opens like a window blind and the great Shoggun of Sorrow appears in front of them looking tired.
"WHO DARES BESMERCH THE NAME OF THE GREAT AKU SO EARLY IN THE MORNING? AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE YOU GO AWAY?"
He spots Jack and his already bulging eyes grow wide. He grunts in surprise then close the blind. A door opens in front of them and the walk in.
Every surface in the interior of the tower's wreathed in stone formations the shape and colour of dancing flames. As they approach a balcony a pillar of black fire spirals up in front of them and the shape of Aku emerges from them. There's a smug grin on the demon's bestial features. He gazes down at the group with keen eyes and a broad grin.
"WELL SAMURAI I'LL ADMIT THIS IS A SURPRISE. I FIGURED THESE OUTSIDERS WOULD FIND THEIR WAY TO YOU, BUT NEVER WOULD I HAVE IMAGINED YOU WOULD BE SO STUPID AS TO ATTACK ME IN MY OWN LAIR!"
He leans toward the contestants.
"THIS IS A DEPARTURE FOR HIM. NORMALLY HE'S MORE INTERESTED IN FINDING TIME PORTALS AND DEFEATING ME IN THE PAST."
"Searching this world will be much easier once you are gone from it Aku!" Jack counters.
"OH I'M SURE IT WILL SAMURAI! AND YOU THINK THESE FRIENDS OF YOURS STAND ANY CHANCE OF HELPING!?"
"We've faced worse than you Aku!" Indy boasts. He looks over discretely and mutters under his breath. "Beatrice stop that."
She tries to keep still, the poor girl's been trembling like a leaf.
"Sorry." She whispers.
Aku cackles.
"OH SUCH BRAVERY!" He taunts. "I WILL ENJOY DESTROYING YOU MOST ASSUREDLY!" He point to the Scotsman. "AND HIM AS WELL. I WILL SLEEP MUCH BETTER WHEN I NEVER HAVE TO HEAR THIS ONE AGAIN!"
"GO BOIL YOUR HEAD!" The Scotsman. "YOU WANT TO KILL US SO BAD, GET ON THEN AND DO IT YA WEE BABY!"
Aku grins sadistically.
"SO BE IT!"
He erupts in a black column of flame, shooting up to the ceiling, then cleaves himself in half, then half again, and again until eight flaming balls of darkness are hurling towards them.
"DUCK!" Indy yelps.
Seven of them dive from the balcony. Only Jack stands his ground. Lifting his sword high and slicing clean through the piece of Aku hurling itself at him. It shrieks and dissolves into smoke.
The other pieces rematerialize on the floor of the lair. Aku eyeing his attackers with interest.
"NOT BAD." He taunts. "BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO BE BETTER TH-" He stops and stares at Bentley siting there in his chair.
"WAIT… HOW DID YOU GET DOWN HERE!?"
Bentley grins.
"Allow me to demonstrate!"
He presses a button on his arm rest, eight arachnids like arms sprout from his hover chair. They sink their claws into the wall behind him then thrust into the air, landing square in the demon's face.
"ARRRGGH!"
Aku flails about trying to get Bentley off his face. Jack takes the chance to get a strike in, and the demon arches back, screaming in agony, and sending Bentley flying. His chair lands safely on the wall. Before Aku's had the chance to recover an ear spilling noise fills the room and he recoils. The Scotsman's brought out a pair of bagpipes. He pauses to jeer up at Aku.
"What's the matter? Don't like the pipes?"
The demon bares his fangs at him. Suddenly his eyes glow a deep red and beams of energy shot from them. The Scotsman leaps out of the way, but not before his pipes are reduced to ash.
Aku seethes.
"SO! THAT'S HOW YOU WANT TO DO THINGS!? ALRIGHT THEN. NO MORE MISTER NICE AKU!"
And he descends on them as they ready their weapons.
The next few minutes are hideous. Aku strikes like a plague, morphing in strange beasts, slashing at them with scythe like arms, and blasting them with his eye beams. Every blow he throws is one meant to kill, and all they can do is defend. Nothing they carry truly harm him except for Jack's katana.
As Aku's baring down on Lenny, Beatrice attacks him from behind. Aku catches her with a pointed elbow, and she's sent flying backward in the wall.
"KID!"
Indy and Jack run over.
"Are you okay?" Jack asks.
"Fine for now but I'm now sure how many of those I have in me." She admits.
"How much longer do we have to keep this up?" Indy demands to Jack.
"Long enough that he see you as a threat he can't easily overcome." The Samurai replies.
"How do we managed that?" Beatrice asks.
Indy scowls. "I've got an idea." Beatrice raises an eyebrow. "Is another terrible one?"
"Yup."
He turns to Jack.
"Give me the sword."
Jack looks skeptically but grants the weapon to him. Indy turns back to the fight. Akus still distracted focusing on Lenny.
"HEY AKU!"
"WAIT YOUR TURN!" The demon shouts back.
Indy slashes at him with the blade. A section of Aku's black form, normally so unyielding crumbles away like embers in a fire. Aku yelps then glares at him angrily.
"NEVERMIND! YOU'RE THE PRIOIRTY NOW!"
He blasts his eye beams at Indy, who rolls out of the way.
"Princess! Catch!"
He throws the sword to Peach who catches it with one hand. She strikes Aku causing the demon to turn on her.
She parries his retaliatory attack then throws it back to Beatrice. She gets in an attack before tossing it Lenny, who gives it to Amethyst. All the while the Aku spins around always a step behind them.
"INSOLENT INSECTS!" He roars. "WILL YOU PLEASE STAND STILL AND LET! ME! SQUASH YOU!?"
"You want us then catch us suckah!" Amethyst boast. Aku sends a fist down on top of here. She turns into a dragonfly and dodges it.
"Yo Bentley!"
She throws him the sword. He catches it with one of his robotic arms then spins it so fast it blurs. He bores into Aku with it like a weed-whacker. He carves a solid hole through Aku's black form. The Scotsman's waiting on the other side.
"Merry Christmas." Bentley says passing him the blade. The Scotsman grins.
"Always wanted to try this." He kisses the blade then hurls himself at Aku.
Aku blasts him with his eyes. The Scotsman pulls out his own broadsword and crosses it with the katana. The blades reflect the blast back at Aku. The Demon ducks and as his lasers sail over his head and blows a hole in the wall behind him.
"HA HA! YOU MISSED!"
The Scotsman grins.
"I didn't miss nothing ya great oaf. NOW Lenny!"
Lenny waves his arm and a torrent of beetle drones, flying cars, androids, and other machines come flying in and swarm Aku.
The contestants regroup as the Shogun of Sorrow writhes in the cloud of machines.
"ENOUGH!"
With one blast of energy he destroys Lenny's minions, sending pieces of sharp metal everywhere. Then the demon leans over pantings, glaring disgustingly at Jack.
"WELL SAMURAI, I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU ACOMPLISHED IT BUT YOU SOMEHOW MANAGED TO FIND SEVEN PEOPLE JUST AS ANNOYING AS YOU!"
The Scotsman throws Jack back his sword. He brandishes at Aku and locks eyes with the evil spirit.
"It is no use resisting Aku! Together me and my new ally are stronger than your evil! Even if you drive us back today, so long as they dwell in this world I will always have the advantage!"
Aku straightens up, a twisted grin slowly taking hold over his demonic features.
"POOR CHOICE OF WORDS SAMURAI!"
He lets out a screeching noise, his mouth forms a perfect O as a ring of white light leaves it. It descends onto Peach, Indy and Beatrice and transforms into a pillar of light, enveloping them.
Aku cackles triumphantly. Only to be interrupting by a fury of attacks by Jack and the Scotsman.
"PORTALS OPEN LADDIES!" He shouts "GET GOING!"
Amethyst turns to Bentley urgently.
"Quick dude! Now's our chance!"
Bentley nods.
"I know. NOW Lenny!"
Lenny seizes her by the scruff of her collar. The gem girl struggles.
"Wait!? NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? BENTLEY STOP HIM!"
"Sorry you." Lenny apologies "But it's already been decided."
Bentley smiles and turns to aid in the fight. Amethyst's eyes grow wide in horror.
"NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! BENTLEY COME BACK! BENTLEY! BENTLEY!"
And she continues screaming as Lenny carries her into the portal… and the last of her team's left behind.