"I as good as killed them...I'm to blame, I know it..."
- J. K. Rowling, The Prisoner of Azkaban, Chapter Nineteen
Chapter 3: Sins of Omission
Kara blinked at him, turned, closed the door behind her, lifted her wand to reset their wards, turned back to face him, and nodded.
Remus felt some of the fight drain out of him at the simple gesture, but his anger continued to burn, low and cold, in his stomach.
"Why? - Nevermind how, we can get to that in a minute, but for the love of God, Kara, why didn't you warn them?"
She had removed her bag and hoodie and was moving across their sitting room as if this were any normal night she was returning late from work. He followed her into the kitchen, where she poured a very large glass of whiskey, the only sign she might be distressed. Her eyes, as she met his again, looked...almost relieved. As if she had set something very heavy down and was glad to be rid of it.
"I couldn't."
"You mean wouldn't."
"No, Remus, I meant couldn't."
He waited for more, but she wasn't forthcoming. It was as though she were waiting for him to work it out for himself.
And, he realized, that was exactly what she was doing. Which meant...
"Is it some sort of spell?"
She nodded.
He considered.
"Can you explain that, at least?"
She scrunched up her face. "It's...like...I'm going to have to be really careful here...It's almost like being paralyzed, or hit with the Petrificus Totalus charm...But certain things...trigger it."
"What sort of things?"
"Anything that might...that might..."
There was frustration in her face, and Remus noted that he'd seen that look before.
"Okay," he said. "Okay." He went and got himself a glass of the whiskey. He'd swallowed half of it before realizing it was the Muggle stuff she favored. Oh, well. The point was it was alcohol.
He sat at the table. "Let's try this another way." After a moment's hesitation, Kara joined him.
"I'm going to try to piece things together, and you...answer me as you can. I'll see what else I can deduce from what you don't say. Fair?"
She nodded.
"Alright, so you knew some things that were going to happen...You knew about Peter, about Lily and James, correct?"
Again, she nodded.
"And you knew this from the very beginning?"
She took a breath. "Remus, the day we met, I did not need Severus Snape to tell me I was sitting next to a werewolf."
He let that sink in. It took a moment.
"I'm not sure how to phrase this next question...How much...?"
She caught on. "I was able to explain this to Dumbledore."
"Dumbledore knows?"
"Of course."
"If he knew you knew who the spy was, why didn't he-?"
"Think about it, Remus." Her hands closed around the glass in front of her, and she took a sip. "Think of it like you would think about time travel - No, that's not what happened. I haven't gone back in time, and I'm not a Seer either. The truth is much, much stranger. But the principle is the same, or at least it would seem so to Dumbledore. By trying use the knowledge I have, he would have been meddling in matters that it seemed were already set. There could be consequences."
"Do you agree with him?"
"No, but I can't exactly argue the point. Not while I'm under this spell."
It was the hint of bitterness in her voice that evaporated the last of Remus' anger. Letting go his whiskey, he reached across the table and took her hand. She stared down at their linked fingers, and her eyes filled, and he saw it again...the weariness, and an old, old pain.
"Anyway," she said after a moment, squeezing his hand. "That wasn't what I was trying to tell you. Some of my knowledge is extremely specific, some is general, and there are greater number of things in the world that I know nothing about."
Remus leaned back and pondered this for a bit. There was only one obvious conclusion.
"It has something to do with Voldemort and Harry, doesn't it?"
Kara did not respond, which he knew now was confirmation.
"It's the only thing that fits, of course." He stood, and began pacing their kitchen. He made a short tally on his fingers. "You knew Peter was a traitor. You knew Lily and James would be killed, Sirius sent to Azkaban. The Longbottoms...These things all lead back to Voldemort. And Harry. And me...well, I assume that has more to do with proximity than anything, doesn't it?
He paused in his pacing to look at her, and she smiled at him, nodding. Her eyes remained unhappy.
For several long moments, she sipped her whiskey, and he repeatedly covered the length of the kitchen. The next thought, which he wasn't quite ready to fully form, sat in his belly like lead.
He finished his whiskey. It didn't help. He refilled it, and was careful to choose the bottle of Ogden's Old this time. He leaned against the counter that served as their small home bar as he sipped it. Warmth and courage, Kara had called it once.
The woman before him didn't look either warm or courageous. She only looked tired.
And, with what they already knew, with Voldemort's supporters stirring and their best friend still on the run, Remus supposed he didn't blame her.
He wondered what Sirius would do if he knew about Kara? He'd have been angry, at least as angry as Remus himself...but after that?
What was it she had said? "I can't exactly argue the point."
Which mean there was a point to argue. Which meant...
Which meant whatever Dumbledore was doing wasn't going to be enough.
Remus set down his whiskey, moved around the table, and kneeled down next to Kara.
She was his best friend. Had been since they were sixteen.
She could have run from all of this. In fact, she had tried early on. But when tragedy struck, she had been by Remus' side.
And she was still here, now.
"I'm unemployed," he said.
Kara frowned down at him.
"I mean," he said, laughing slightly, "that I have a lot of time on my hands. Time for...research."
She waited, a wariness in her eyes. No hope. He'd never seen her hope.
Which told him all he needed to know about what was coming.
"We're going to find a way to break this spell," he told her firmly.