XXXVII.
The Lieutenant presses her palm against the door control for the Hyperion Medical Bay, noticing that as the door slides open she can immediately hear a single raised voice and that she recognises at once that it is Sara Ryder is shouting, and she doesn't sound happy. She steps through the door and into the room, her eyes moving in the direction of the harsh words that she can now hear when she spots Sara is indeed stood at the end of the bed she had been in for the last few weeks and that her anger is directed directly at Scott who is perched on the bed, his arms crossed across his chest and his eyes on her. Cora notices that Sara's almost non-stop shouting is not receiving any response from Scott and even if she did give him time to reply, he looks to be trying to remain calm but she can immediately see he looks upset from the way he's holding himself. Poor Scott, she sighs to herself.
Cora manages to drag her eyes away from her love for a moment and notices that Lexi is also stood with them and is trying to calm Sara down, but doesn't look like she's being successful. Doctor T'Perro had messaged her to let her know what was happening between the twins, but Cora had no idea it would be like this when she got here and apparently this had been going on for nearly an hour. Cora knew that she and Scott were due onboard The Tempest, and now were behind schedule for their trip to Voeld, the rest of the crew would no doubt waiting for them to depart and wondering what was keeping him.
"Sara, please.." Lexi begins and lifts her hands to try and calm her. "Just think about what you are saying.." She adds as Cora begins to approach them and watches as Lexi spots her and shakes her head lightly. "This is the grief talking, and you've not long been out of stasis." Lexi adds, trying to get her to listen in the pause when she takes a breath.
"Why didn't she save dad, Scott?!" Sara shouts at her brother who Cora notices still doesn't say anything, but she can see the hurt her words are causing him. "Why didn't she do anything?!" She continues. "He died because of her!" Sara screams at him.
"You weren't even there." Scott sighs in the next short moment that Sara gives him to speak.
"I read the reports!" Sara huffs at him as Cora moves closer until she is behind her, watching Scott's eyes leave his twin when he sees she is there. "Why didn't she help him?!" She shouts and Cora watches Scott's jaw set and how her words are affecting him. "Cora let him die!" Sara yells at her brother.
"Don't talk about Cora like that." Scott mumbles.
"What's going on?" Cora begins as she watches Sara pause.
Cora sees Sara look over her shoulder at her, her eyes narrowing when she sees that she's arrived. Cora could only wonder how much of Sara's anger was actually her fault and when she sees him look past his sister again and she can see in his eyes that he doesn't want her to get dragged into this.
"This has nothing to do with you." Sara snaps at her, making her frown when she hears it as she watches Sara's attention return to Scott and as if she is about to continue shouting.
"This has everything to do with me." Cora begins as she tries to keep her voice as even as she can and moves in front of Sara. "If you are shouting about me and at my boyfriend.." She continues and hears Sara scoff. "Then this does involve me." Cora adds as she feels Scott stand behind her.
"It's fine, Cora." Scott says making her look at him when she feels him place his hand lightly on her back. "I'm used to it." He adds giving her a light smile which makes her sigh. "We better get to the docking bay." She hears Scott continue and realises he's wanting to leave by the look on his face, and she wonders if there is any way his head will be clear to lead his team today.
Cora had heard Sara being like this with her brother before and it didn't feel right, especially as she knew how much Scott hated conflict which obviously left him sitting taking it all as he was now. When Cora looks into Sara's face she sees the familiar look of anger that she'd seen so often on Alec's face making her realise how much like her father Sara really is and that shouting was how she dealt with things too. Cora knew getting involved would most likely aggravate Sara further but knowing Scott as she did, she couldn't just let this keep happening to him and not say something. She knew Sara was grieving for Alec, and she had no doubt the funeral yesterday had led to this boiling over and was why it was kicking off again. She couldn't just let Scott take Sara's anger when she knew it was really aimed at her.
"It's not fine, Scott." Cora sighs and notices he nods lightly before she fixes her eyes on Sara again. "You need to stop shouting, right now." She huffs at her, watching Sara open her mouth to start arguing again. "If your problem is with me then shout at me. Scott has done nothing wrong and he doesn't deserve how you've been treating him."
"Scott can speak for himself." Sara huffs.
"Yes he can, but this isn't the first time is it? He has been through the same things that you have and he doesn't need this too. Your issue is with me, not him." Cora continues. "I know you are angry and your hurting, and you have every right to be." She adds with a nod. "But, you are angry at the wrong person right now and taking it out on Scott." She continues and lowers her voice, looking at Scott when she feels him taking her hand and wrapping his fingers around hers.
"You have no idea what I've been through." Sara mumbles and Cora notices she lowers her eyes from her and that her anger doesn't seem as strong. "I had to say goodbye to him yesterday.." She adds and she can hear the tremble in her voice.
"You have no idea what we've been through!" Scott replies and Cora notices Sara's eyes move to him when she hears him raising his voice. "You haven't even asked how I am or how Cora is." He adds as she can almost feel the tension in his body behind her when she feels him tightening his hold as if he's trying to calm himself by focusing on her hand in his.
"You both seem fine to me." Sara snaps at him, her voice raising again which makes Scott just sigh and shake his head at her words and Cora knows how hard he's been trying to stay strong for her and everyone else around him.
"Well, I'm not." Scott huffs at his twin. "I nearly died, I lost my dad too. I almost lost Cora and I've been carrying all of this responsibility I never asked for. I've had to see the person I love go through more than you could ever imagine." He adds with a sigh and she hers him pause. "You know what? This is getting us nowhere and I've got a job to do." Scott sighs making her glance at him and sees the sadness in his eyes.
"Scott.." Cora whispers and feels his eyes on her.
"I think I'm going to clear my head." Scott nods lightly and she feels him lean closer so he can press a kiss against her cheek, reluctantly lowering his hands from her. "Are you coming?" He asks lowering his voice as his eyes meet hers.
"I think I need to talk to Sara." Cora begins and watches him nod slightly at her words. "I'll come and find you?" She adds as she gives him the best reassuring smile that she can, knowing that she had to do something about this.
"Alright." Scott sighs as she watches him move away to let her and Sara talk, noticing that he shoves his hands in his pockets as he leaves through the door. Cora gives Lexi a small smile before she watches her walk away too and goes back to her work.
"Do you want to sit?" Cora asks Sara and motions towards the chairs beside the bed.
She sees Sara nod lightly and that this reminds her so much of the day that Sara had found out about her and Alec, and the argument that had followed. Sara had been so angry with her and Alec, but she'd been equally as angry with her brother because he'd known about it. Cora looks into her face when Sara doesn't immediately start shouting again, so she decides she has to take this opportunity to tell her all of the reasons she shouldn't be taking everything out on Scott. She'd seen it before, and it made her wonder how many years had this been going on? She knew part of this was grief, and part of this was coming out of stasis, but how much of it was just the way Sara was. Scott was too forgiving and kind, he didn't deserve this.
"Sara, I know that you have been through a lot. I know how difficult it must be for you to wake up to this. Scott is hurting too, and I know he can speak for himself but he's very important to me and I hate to see you speaking to him that way." She adds and notices her words make Sara sigh.
"Why didn't you save him?" Sara begins and she feels her eyes on her before she lowers them to her feet, Cora sighs lightly and shakes her head. She did understand that Sara would be upset having been told about Alec's death and everything that had happened since, but she'd hoped to remain on the subject of Scott with his twin.
"We need to talk about Scott." Cora begins. "Why are you treating my boyfriend like that?" She sighs and fixes her eyes on Sara. "Your brother, your twin.." She adds and notices her words make Sara huff quietly. "You told me how close you are and you speak to him like that?" She continues and shakes her head lightly. "I nearly lost him.." Cora mumbles and crosses her hands on her knee, noticing that Sara doesn't seem as keen to talk now.
"I've lost my dad." Sara whispers and Cora watches her cross her arms and lower her eyes, realising she isn't going to stay talking about Scott until she has the answers she wants about Alec and his death.
"Do you really think I didn't try to save Alec?" Cora asks which draws her eyes to her. "Sara.." She sighs lightly and glances across the room to Lexi and then back to Scott's twin. "I loved your dad and losing him broke my heart." Cora adds and she notices Sara nods.
"You should have saved him.." Sara begins, but Cora lifts her hand to gently cut her off and notices that she goes quiet to let her speak.
"I did everything I could to save him but he made that choice and saved Scott." She says firmly, trying to get Sara to hear what she is saying. "Please, believe me when I say I would have done anything to save him but he made the decision," Cora adds as she moves to get comfortable in her seat.
"I know, and I'm happy I still have my brother. I just can't believe this has happened." Sara sighs and Cora is sure she sees a flash of sadness on her face. "I just never got to say goodbye to my dad." She sniffs quietly and lowers her eyes again.
"We nearly lost Alec and Scott." Cora sighs and returns her attention to Sara. "I know this is hard for you and I'm so sorry that you didn't get to see Alec again. But, he had to do something to save Scott. There were no other options." She adds and sees her nod. "Habitat 7 was awful, Sara. Scott was so injured, and then being without you he's been really hurting." Cora adds.
"He's fine." Sara huffs quietly and her eyes move to Cora's. "He didn't even seem bothered that dad is gone and he didn't even stay for the funeral." She adds and Cora sighs lightly, of course, Sara would be upset that she was now grieving and Scott is appearing to have gotten over it, but she knew that he was always putting on a brave face for her. He'd taken her to EOS for her sake, not his own, and Sara had only seen them leaving together.
"Sara.." Cora sighs lightly. "You and Scott had different relationships with Alec, and in a way, this is just like what happened with me and Scott." She adds and notices Sara nods at her words. "When Alec died I was a mess, and it hurt that Scott seemed so unaffected. Because I loved Alec and couldn't understand why I felt like the only one who was devastated." Cora smiles lightly at Sara.
"That is how I feel.." Sara mumbles. "I heard the audio recordings from the accident. When you told him you loved him? You did still love my dad?" She asks as Cora nods.
"Yes, I did love him, right until the end." Cora sighs lightly. "I understand, I do." Cora nods. "You are allowed to be devastated because you loved your dad. But you have to remember that Scott has had a few more weeks to work through this than you have. It's all fresh and raw for you, but I'm proof that it will get better." She adds.
"I love my brother. He just doesn't understand how I feel. He makes me so angry that he seems so calm all the time and all I want is for him to tell me it's okay to feel like this." Sara whispers making Cora nod. "Every time we talk about the big things he shuts down and it makes me so mad." Sara huffs.
"Scott has been lost without you, Sara." Cora begins and sees her words make her nod. "I was angry with him too." She whispers. "He does understand how you are feeling and trust me he is trying to keep everyone happy. You know he doesn't like conflict and you deal with things differently." Cora continues. "He's been through a lot too and just because he's appearing strong, he has struggled and he's had an awful time, too." She sighs quietly, remembering how hurt she has seen her love and a lot of it because of her.
"It just feels like everyone has moved on." Sara sniffs and lowers her eyes again. "I missed so much and I missed his last days. I had all of that time taken from me and I'll never get it again. Even Liam is different, everything is different now." She continues making Cora nod lightly.
"You've just got to remember what your dad would want you to do.." Cora whispers which draws her eyes to her. "He'd want you to get better and get out there with Scott." Cora adds. "I know it all feels overwhelming now but I know you and Liam will fine and we'll be double dating again." Cora smiles at her and sees her do the same.
"I hope so." Sara nods and gives her a grateful smile, making Cora feel relieved when she sees it. "You and Scott seem happy? Even though everyone knows about.." She adds before trailing off and Cora knows she means that everyone knows her and Alec had been together previously.
"We are happy." Cora smiles and watches as Sara does too. "It hasn't always been easy, of course." She continues as Sara nods. "But, he makes me very happy and things are really good. I know they will be for you, too." Cora adds with another small smile. "I know you miss Alec, and I do too." She says before letting her own eyes lower to her feet.
"Would it be okay if I talked to you about him?" Sara asks drawing her attention back to her. "Scott doesn't want to and your the only one that understands." She adds making Cora smile at her words, finding it so strange that Sara who had been so angry about her father's relationship with her, and now wanted to talk.
"Yes, I would like to talk about him." Cora nods. "I've said my goodbyes to him and I'd like us to talk about him." She smiles at Sara. "I think it will help. Please, talk to me and please be gentle with Scott. Make sure you call Liam." Cora says and sees that Sara finally nods in agreement.
"He won't come.." Sara sighs lightly.
"Yes, he will." Cora begins and fixes her eyes on her. "He was here every day that you were still under." She adds and watches Sara's expression soften at her words. "He was so worried about you and he missed you." Cora smiles at Scott's twin. "You were going to tell him you loved him, weren't you?" Cora laughs quietly and Sara does too.
"That was six hundred years ago." Sara smiles.
"Not for any of us." Cora returns her smile. "It wasn't even a year ago that he was walking you home." She adds and remembers back to the night on Theia when they'd all had dinner and enjoyed the evening together. "He's camped out on the Tempest and when you're feeling up to it.." Cora says.
"The Pathfinder ship?" Sara asks, making Cora remember that she has missed out on so much and how much has happened since they arrived in Andromeda.
"Yes, sorry." Cora begins. "The one your dad showed us the designs for.." She adds and sees Sara smile in recognition of what she was talking about. "Sara, I've got to get back to Scott. We're headed out soon, but maybe we could talk more when we get back?" She adds and sees Sara nod lightly.
"Alright, I'd like that." Sara nods. "I promise I'll try not to get so angry with him.." She adds and Cora gives her a grateful smile. "I'll try to remember that I'm like dad and he's like mom." She sighs which Cora can only nod in agreement, Sara was all Alec and it was no wonder Scott was on the end of her wrath so often.
"Call Liam." Cora smiles lightly, wondering how long this smoothing over would last this time and if they'd all be able to remain friends, or at least civil for Scott's sake. She wanted to like Sara, and Cora knew that could only happen if she gave Scott a break.
"Thanks, Cora." Sara nods lightly so she takes that as her opportunity to stand, stepping away from Sara and realising how late she is and that they should be on their way to Voled by now.
Cora begins walking along the corridor of the Hyperion Ark and away from the medical bay, wondering where Scott might be hiding and trying to calm himself and clear his head. She didn't think he'd be on the Tempest already, and she also didn't think she'd been that successful in asking Sara to not speak to Scott as she had been. But, maybe it was a start to try and get her to realise shouting at him wasn't the answer or best way to show how frustrated she was with him. Scott didn't deserve that, and she hated to see him so hurt by her words. Cora lifts her arm and sends a location request to Scott, waiting for him to ping her in return to let her know where he is. Within a few moments, she sees that he's responded and that he is on the bridge, somewhere that she hadn't been since they'd docked at the Nexus. It reminded her too much of Alec.
She continues towards the bridge, climbing the stairs that would leave to the tram station but instead continues along the corridor until she reaches the double doors of the Hyperion Bridge. Cora lifts her arm to access it, watching it slide open and her eyes immediately trying to adjust to the dark of the room. Cora lets her eyes settle on the large expanse of the window in front of her, the one that she had first seen the devastation of Habitat 7 through and that is now filled completely with billions of distant stars and the dark outside.
"Scott?" Cora calls to him and smiles when her eyes settle on her Ryder, she starts to approach him. "Ready to head out?" She asks, lowering her voice when she notices that he is leaning with his forearms against the railing and that he has his head lowered. "Are you okay?" She sighs lightly as she moves to his side and lifts her hand to rub against his back, feeling how tense he feels beneath her palm.
"I'm really not, Cora." Scott sighs as she watches him lift his hand to rub his chin but that he doesn't look at her, she continues to rub his back trying to offer him some comfort. "I've been trying to hold it together." He mumbles.
"I know.." Cora whispers as she moves her hand to the back of his head which draws his eyes to hers and he looks at her. "Oh, Scott." She whispers, feeling a wave of sadness when she sees how much the last few weeks have taken their toll on him. "Come here." Cora continues as she places her hands on his shoulders and drags him into her arms.
"I've tried to be strong for everyone." Scott sniffs, making her sigh when she feels him bury his face into her neck and his arms wrap tightly around her body. "I feel like I can't do anything right." He adds so Cora holds him just as tightly, desperate to make him know she's there for him. "I've let everyone down, especially you." Scott sniffs again.
"That's not true." She sighs as she strokes her hands over his back and up to his shoulder blades. "You do everything right and you always do your best," Cora whispers and strokes her fingers through his hair again. "Despite everything you've been through you've never let anyone down." She adds and feels him rest his head against the side of hers.
"She wished I'd died instead, Cora." Scott says when she feels him loosen his hold on her so she can look into her face. "My own twin said she wanted him to save himself over me." He adds with a deep sigh as Cora rests her hands on his neck.
"Scott, don't listen to Sara." Cora begins, trying to give him a comforting smile when she feels him sliding his palms onto her waist. "She's grieving, you know she didn't mean that. Sara loves you." She adds and notices that her words make him nod lightly. "I meant what I said on EOS. You are exactly who I needed too, as my partner and my Pathfinder. I need you, Scott and doesn't that show you how important you are in my life?"
Cora watches him nod at her words and lower his eyes for a moment so she lifts her hands to his cheeks and draws his gaze to her again. She feels his blue eyes meet hers when she gently strokes her fingertips against the stubble on his cheeks which makes a light smile tug at the corner of his mouth. Cora slips her arms around his neck when he draws her against his chest again, turning her head to press a soft kiss against his cheek and nuzzles her lips against his skin. She hated seeing him like this, so hurt by Sara's words and doubting himself when she knew he had no reason to and had been nothing but wonderful. Scott had always been the perfect boyfriend, and she knew how hard he'd tried to be a good brother to Sara and son to Alec despite their differences, but still, he doubted himself.
"I need you, too." Scott begins making her smile to herself when he continues to hold her. "I do understand how she's feeling and that she's hurting." He adds and she hears him exhale lightly when she rubs her hands up and down his back. "What if she always resents me now? What if we never get back to how we were?" Scott says and loosens his hold again.
"Baby, if Sara resents you, that is her problem, not yours," Cora whispers and notices his eyes are looking into hers. "Alec made that choice, and it was the right one. He saved you for the good of everyone and I know that now. You are exactly who needed to be Pathfinder, and he needed to save you." She adds and notices that his face softens at her words. "Is she so different now?" Cora asks quietly.
"No, I guess not.." Scott nods slightly and gives her the best smile she knows he can manage. "I just feel like she's never going to get over this. I hate that she was blaming you. None of this is your fault." He adds making her shake her head at his words. She had believed Alec's death had been her fault for a while, she couldn't help but feel she was causing problems between Scott and Sara.
"She will get over this, just like we are trying to." Cora gives him a positive nod and places her hands on his chest "I'd rather her blame me than you, and I'm okay with that. Maybe you and Sara just need to spend time not talking about everything that has happened." She whispers.
"We are never going to agree on what has happened.." Scott nods in agreement with her and she's glad he realises that and that it will only cause more problems at the moment. "We need to build ourselves up to the big stuff. You shouldn't have to carry all of her hurt and anger on your shoulders though." He adds with another quiet sigh.
"You've carried all of my hurt on your own, Scott. I couldn't have done this without you and I want to do the same for you. If talking to Sara about Alec, and help her through what has happened helps you, that's all that I want." She gives him a small smile to show she means it.
"You shouldn't have to.." Scott begins but she interrupts him.
"We agreed we'd always talk about what was bothering us, and that we'd support each other. We promised we'd always be there, and would give each other the space to work through things and the comfort to help each other heal." She nods and smiles when he lifts his hands to her cheeks, his eyes not leaving hers. "Let me shoulder some of your hurt too, not only because we are a team and I'm your second, but because that is what we do for those we love." Cora smiles.
"What happened to the woman I first met?" She hears Scott ask with a slight smile in his voice, his eyes searching hers when she places her hands over his on her cheeks.
"She fell in love." Cora whispers and notices his smile widens.
"Well, love suits you." Scott smiles before she feels him wrap her up in his arms again, squeezing her so tightly she wonders if anything could feel better than being so close to him. Cora can't help but smile to herself, maybe she had come a long way since they'd first met and being able to voice her feelings. "I'm sorry for letting it get to me." He whispers making her shake her head.
"Don't ever be sorry." Cora begins as she lifts her hand to the back of his head. "You know I'm always here for you, and I'll always listen." She adds and hears him sigh quietly when she brushes her mouth against his cheek before reluctantly letting go of him. "You know we don't always have to be brave." Cora nods and rubs her palms against his biceps.
"I know.." Scott nods making her smile to herself when he leans closer and presses a kiss against her forehead. "You always make me feel better." He adds with another soft kiss. "I feel like I don't have to pretend to be brave and strong. I can be myself." Scott smiles at her which she returns when he cups her cheek in the palm of his hand.
"That's all that I want you to be." Cora smiles and fixes her eyes on his. "The completely perfectly un-perfect, you." She adds and hears him laugh quietly at her words and then lean towards her to kiss her. "They'll be waiting for us.." Cora mumbles against his lips and her smile widens when he lifts his hand to the back of her head.
"Yeah.." Scott sighs in response when he breaks their kiss and she notices he smiles at her, looking better than he had been when she first found him. "We should probably go." He adds making her laugh quietly when he motions his head towards the door but doesn't make any moves to do anything about it.
"We probably should.." She laughs and notices her words make him nod his head and knows that he knows as well as she does that they can't let the team down, and they can't not stick to the plans. "Are you sure you're up to it?" Cora adds and sees him nod and give her a reassuring smile.
Cora could tell that Scott was still upset, not as upset as he had been but that it wouldn't go away until they'd managed to settle a home and he and Sara were back to talking again. Just as they felt they were gaining ground, something else had happened and it wasn't surprising he was struggling with how he was feeling. Luckily Cora knew she always had plenty of chances to keep checking in with him while on missions and their time off duty that they always spent together to unwind after a hard day helped keep them both sane. At least as his second they had genuine excuses to be together and cover for their relationship, even if they couldn't be like this and had to pretend they weren't together when with the team and in public.
"Yeah, I'll be fine." Scott nods and she doesn't want to question him anymore if he's sure. "It's nice to be able to touch you for a while." Scott smiles which she can't help but nod in agreement and smile in return. "Just be close like this.." He adds so she rubs her palms against his shoulders and down to his forearms as if to agree with him.
"I know what you're going to say." Cora laughs quietly when she sees him smile innocently at her, knowing he was on the verge of telling her all the reasons they should be going public and no longer keeping their relationship a secret. "Come on, Ryder. We've got a freezing cold planet to visit." She adds and gives him a smile.
"Alright." Scott grins at her making her sigh when he presses his mouth to hers again and draws her into his arms again. Cora forgets all about their mission for a moment when she slips her hands onto his face and kisses him back.
"Kallo to Pathfinder Ryder." Cora hears the pilots voice over the comms and notices that Scott has heard it too when he reluctantly breaks their kiss. "Kallo to Pathfinder Ryder?" Kallo continues making Scott let out a disappointed sigh.
"Receiving, Kallo." Scott begins, making Cora laugh quietly when she notices he clears his throat. "Go ahead." He adds when he connects and replies to the Tempest crew that they both know have been waiting far too long for them.
"The Tempest is primed and ready when you and Lieutenant Harper are ready." Kallo's voice continues loud and clear making Cora laugh further when she sees Scott's eyes meet hers and a cheeky grin appear on his face.
Cora sighs when he ignores their pilot for a moment and goes back to kissing her, his thumbs stroking her skin and keeping them close which only makes her melt against him. She couldn't help but wonder what excuse were they going to use this time? They'd already convinced the team that Scott had gotten stuck in his armour a couple of times, that the plumbing in his quarters had broken, that they had extra reports to write, and a few times that Scott was suffering from a head cold and needed his second to take care of him. Sneaking around didn't feel good, but part of her knew it was too soon and people would only talk if they knew the truth about them.
"On our way, Kallo." Cora replies, trying to keep her voice even when Scott returns his hands to her cheeks and kisses her again. "We have to go." She giggles between kisses. "Scott.." She whispers as she reluctantly wriggles away from him and slides her hand down to take hold of his and begin dragging him towards the door of the Hyperion Bridge.
"Alright, alright." He sighs dramatically when she feels him wrapping his fingers around hers and following close behind her.