XXXXVIII.
"How could they do this to me?!" The Lieutenant screams as she sends a large crate flying through the air with an angry blast of her biotics, ignoring the fact that it crashes against the wall of the BioLab. Not caring about the result of her actions."Everything I've been taught means nothing!" She shouts grabbing another supplies box with the tendrils of blue and smashing it hard against the floor, the glass sample jars inside breaking into a million pieces and covering the tiles with tiny shards.
"Everything they stood for! Everything they told me I had to be!" Cora lets out another loud scream as she stomps towards the workbench and uses the pure rage that is currently driving her biotics inside her to throw it across the room, watching it crumple beneath her hold as it makes a satisfying breaking sound. "My training!" She shouts as she moves back to the pile of crates, trying to force the sobs that are threatening to leave her body, away. As long as she was destroying she wasn't crying. She couldn't let them see her cry.
"They are liars!"Cora shouts and grips her fists tightly, knowing her anger was too out of control to stop even if she wanted to. "LIES!" She screams and bangs her hands against the wall, her palms making causing a loud noise on the surface. "My whole foundation is nothing but, LIES!" She screams and kicks out angrily at another pile of boxes that go flying across the room, smashing into the wall and causing another defining crashing sound.
"Who do they think they are?!" She sobs loudly and feels the tears starting to fall now, and the anger slowly starting to mellow. The biotic energy and the blue that is lighting up the darkened room starting to fade. "It's all lies." Cora cries unable to hold back the waves of sadness that are replacing her anger.
"Those Asari dared to tell me I was too emotional. They dared to tell me I was weak, and that everything was black and white. Sarissa killed someone, she lied and she manipulated everyone." She sobs again, turning her back against the wall and slowly sliding down it until she is sat on the floor. She wraps her arms around her knees and lets the tears flow, the anger hurt and betrayal escaping down her cheeks.
"It meant nothing!" Cora sobs loudly and tries to stop her body from shaking when she does. "I trusted her, as a Pathfinder and as an Asari." Cora continues and lifts her hand to wipe her eyes but the tears keep coming. "She took a vow and I looked up to her. All I wanted was to be like her.." She adds and lets her eyes move to Scott who she can just about see in the dark, is sat on a crate by the doorway, looking at him through the tears blurring her vision.
"Oh, Scott." She cries quietly as she lowers her eyes from him, knowing he is letting her unleash what she is feeling and that he hasn't left her side since they returned from the Asari Ark to the Tempest. Even through the tears, she can see he looks worried about her and sadness in his own eyes.
Sarissa, her hero and the one Asari she held above all else had lied to them. Had broken their code, had gone against everything she'd been taught and had killed someone. Scott had refused to cover up what Sarissa had done and had managed to get them out of there and back to the Tempest before the hurt had really set in. Betrayed by the one person she'd admired even above Alec Ryder himself. Everything that made her who she was had been built on lies and she wasn't sure what was left anymore. Her whole life was a lie. Her whole foundation, beliefs and life had been based on what they'd told her.
"I actually thought she would help us, Scott." Cora sniffs and focuses on him again, feeling upset that she lost control and might have hurt herself or worse, him. "I didn't listen to you.." She sighs lightly, noticing he gives her a sympathetic smile and feeling so guilty that she had chased after the Ark and he'd only agreed to go along for her. Yes, they'd saved those left but at what cost? He hadn't been ready, and she'd made him go anyway.
"Why didn't I listen to you?" She sobs again.
Cora watches him stand off of the crate he was sitting on and begin walking across the BioLab towards her, deciding he must have taken her speaking to him directly as his moment to join her. She sees that he carefully steps over the broken crates and around the broken glass, trying to get to her as quickly as he can. Cora was so grateful that he'd given her space to let this anger out, but now she just needed his arms around her and for him to tell her everything would be okay.
She notices that he lowers himself into the space beside her on the floor so his back is against the wall too. She glances at him when he holds his hand out to her which she gladly accepts, making her sob even more when she remembers how angry he'd been at Sarissa on that Ark for putting people in danger, for what she'd done and how she'd made Cora feel. Scott had been so brave to have saved everyone and did the right thing by removing Sarissa and exposing her lies, he'd put himself at risk for all of those people and he'd made sure she didn't have to decide Sarissa's fate. He'd shouldered it all for her, as he always did.
"Why does everyone lie to me?" Cora whispers as she feels the warmth of him beside her, sniffing lightly when he lifts his arm to wrap around her. "You are the only one in my life that has never let me down, or lied to me." She continues and turns her head to look at him, noticing his blue eyes are on hers. "The only one to never hurt me." Cora sniffs and sighs when he presses a soft kiss against her forehead, his lips so gentle and comforting it makes her sob again so he holds her tighter.
"Everyone I've ever put my faith into has deceived me." She sighs and lowers her eyes after she lets herself look around the BioLab for a moment, realising what a mess she has made and how destructive she has been. "My parents," Cora whispers with a light nod. "Sarissa, those Asari." She sniffs quietly. "Alec.." She sobs as the tears run down her cheeks when she thinks of him and then the sadness of what he did to her. "Especially him." Cora sighs.
"They taught me to follow commands, to look to my leader. But how do I know I was following the right person, Scott? How do I ever trust anyone again? My whole life has been a lie. Everything was a lie. I've been repeating their lies time after time." Cora whispers, trying to fight back another sob.
"You can trust me," Scott whispers drawing her eyes to his. "I'll never let you down or deceive you. I can't imagine how it must feel to have those you trust break that trust." He adds making her nod lightly, knowing all too well that he'd been let down by people too, including her. "But, you are a better person than all of the ones that have ever hurt you." He smiles lightly at her and lifts his hand to brush away her tears, his thumbs stroking her cheeks.
"Who am I now?" Cora whispers and notices another sympathetic smile. "Who am I if the people that made me aren't even real? I'm nothing. I'm a failure and a joke." She adds and feels him cuddling her closer to him, his hand lifting to stroke her hair and engulfing her in his arms.
"You are Cora Harper." Scott begins as she lifts her head to look at him. "The bravest, kindest, smartest, most loyal, and kick-ass biotic Asari Huntress." He continues making her smile slightly. "Your you and that's pretty amazing," Scott whispers as he presses a kiss against the side of her head. "You are so wonderful, Cora. I wish you'd see what I do." He mumbles into her hair.
"I'm weak and too emotional." She replies and watches him lift his head and shake it lightly. "My whole life has been about pleasing somebody.." Cora sniffs and rubs her cheeks again. "Who am I without those people? I'm nothing without someone to lead me. I always wanted to be like Alec, but I can't lead anyone like he did. I'm not a leader. I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm a failure." Cora sighs and lowers her eyes from his.
"Your not weak, Cora." She hears his reply and looks up at him. "I don't know anyone as strong as you. I mean look what you did to the room.." He chuckles quietly making her smile and wrapping her arms tightly around him, her poor plants she thinks when she sees that she's broken them.
"I'll clear it up.." The Lieutenant sighs and gives him another small smile.
"You don't need those people," Scott replies and holds her closer so she rests her head against his shoulder. "You aren't who you are because of them. You don't need to please anyone but yourself." He continues making her sigh and nod lightly.
"But what if.." She begins but Scott cuts her off.
"Cora, you don't need anyone to lead you." He smiles and lifts his hand to brush against her cheek again, making her smile widen when he does. "You've got me and we're equals and partners in everything." Scott nods and she lets their eyes meet. "We walk side by side. Nothing else matters." He adds making her smile, feeling the sadness and anger being replaced by warmth when she looks at him.
"I should have listened to you." Cora sighs.
"I should have listened to you," Scott replies and lets his finger brush back her hair. "Really listened to what you were saying to me." He nods so she leans into his embrace and lets herself be comforted by him. "At least Tann has his Ark." She hears him mumble into her hair with another kiss.
"Yeah, and another Pathfinder." She sighs and takes hold of his hand, sliding her fingers through his. "You aren't all on your own now." Cora smiles and when he places his fingers beneath her chin so their eyes are on each other again.
"I was never on my own. I had you. You are an amazing Pathfinder." Scott smiles at her and she knows that she's always been important to him. "I just wish there was something I could do.." He whispers making her nod, she didn't think there was anything else he could do. He was there and that was what mattered. "I feel useless.." He continues so she leans closer and kisses him, silencing him with her mouth.
"No one has ever loved or supported me like you," Cora replies and sees him nod slightly when she strokes his cheek. "All these stupid mistakes and things I've been chasing. You still stood by my side." She adds with a quiet sigh. "What do I do now, Scott?" Cora whispers and looks into his eyes. "I feel like everything has gone wrong and everything I knew to be true.. I'm such a fool." Cora sniffs quietly.
"I know you do. I know how much that must hurt.." Scott replies so she fixes her eyes on him. "You'll get through this." He nods and gives her a reassuring smile. "I know you will and I'll be right here." Scott smiles again so she can't help but lean closer and kiss him softly, he was so wonderful.
Cora hears him sigh when she places a hand on his chest, sliding it up to his neck as she deepens their kiss. She notices his palms resting on her shoulder blades as she leans into his body, lifting both of her hands to his cheeks and stroking him with her fingertips. Cora feels Scott break their kiss and watches a small smile tug at the corner of his mouth, knowing he is wanting to comfort her more than getting too carried away with their kisses. Scott wraps his arms around her again and she is sure she feels the upset and pain of Sarissa and everyone she'd ever cared about, that had hurt her, fading away when he holds her. Scott was the exception and she knew he always would be.
"Could we go somewhere? Just take a day of shore leave and go?" She asks and notices his eyes search hers for a moment. "I just need some space.." Cora whispers.
"Space from me?" Scott smiles at her making her laugh quietly when she remembers she'd asked him the same thing only that had ended up with him collapsing when they'd got a little carried away.
"Never from you." Cora smiles and strokes his face again.
"Where do you want to go?" He replies as she feels him brush her hair with his fingertips. "I'll take you anywhere." Scott continues and she feels his eyes searching her face before they settle on hers.
"Somewhere warm.." Cora smiles at him and notices he returns it. "Somewhere we can lay on a beach and forget about everything else." She continues as he nods in agreement. "Somewhere far away from all of this," Cora whispers wondering if somewhere like that existed for them.
"Let's do it." Scott grins at her making her laugh when she hears his words. "We'll pack a bag, grab our tent and just go." He continues making her smile fade when she realises that won't be happening anytime soon.
"That sounds wonderful." Cora smiles again when he notices she looks disappointed that they can't run away together.
"Remember our plan, Cora." Scott smiles and gives her a positive nod. "We'll get to decide where we want to live and do the things we want to do. We're going to leave all of this behind and just be together. Just you and me." He continues and fixes his eyes on hers. "I promise.." Scott smiles at her so she lifts her hand to stroke the back of his head.
"I guess a day off on EOS will have to do." She replies quietly and sees him nod in agreement. "There's sand and sunshine.." Cora sighs and laughs lightly when he squeezes her tightly in his arms. "Can we spend the day just us?" She whispers and notices it makes him smile.
"Of course, we can." Scott smiles at her as she cuddles into his chest and she feels him kiss the top of her head. "Why don't you head to bed? I'll clean this up." He continues and she notices their eyes meet. "It's been a long few days. We're both exhausted and everything will feel a bit better in the morning." Scott nods.
"You're the one that's been sick.." Cora sighs and shakes her head lightly, lowering her eyes from his when she remembers that he's still suffering, still feeling unwell. "I should be taking care of you." She adds and then feels him turn her face to his again.
"You do." Scott smiles at her making her sigh when he strokes the hair back from her face. "It won't take me long.." He continues and she feels him untangle himself from her and climb to his feet. "You need rest after all that. Plus, you are much better at warming the bed up." Scott chuckles and holds his hands out to her so he can pull her up too.
"I can't sleep without you," Cora whispers as he guides her to her feet, she brushes herself down where she's been sat on the floor.
"I know." She hears his reply so looks into his eyes again. "I'll be there soon." He adds and steps closer to her until he can place both of his hands on her face. "Just take it steady, okay?" Scott says and she feels him stroking her skin with his thumbs and there is a flash of concern in his eyes.
"I'll take it steady," Cora whispers and notices that he nods lightly at her words but that she hasn't convinced him. He'd seen her push herself too much like this before. "Don't be long.." She smiles as he nods again and lets go of her.
Cora carefully steps around the broken glass and boxes on the floor, trying not to make any more mess than she already has as she walks towards the door. She glances over her shoulder when she hears the sound of glass being scraped together and she watches Scott start clearing up after her, using the edge of his foot to gather it together in a pile. Cora sees him bend and begin picking up the pieces of broken plants and samples that the two of them had spent so much time gathering together. She feels an ache of guilt inside her when she remembers again how destructive she has been and that he's having to deal with it so she quickly begins walking away from the Biolab and towards their room. Cora feels how unsteady she is on her feet so presses a hand against the wall to steady her.
"Hey, Cora.." She hears Liam's voice suddenly in front of her so she lifts her eyes to look at him. "Scott asked for a brush and a cleaner bot. He's not actually cleaning is he?" Liam chuckles as he approaches her and looks to be heading towards the BioLab and holds up a broom to show her what he is doing.
"Cleaning up after me," Cora replies quietly and lowers her eyes to her feet, sure that her face and eyes are puffy from her crying and that she looks a mess. She feels him place his hand on her shoulder to stop her from walking past him so she glances at him again.
"Are you okay?" Liam asks and she can hear the concern in his voice.
"Not really." Cora mumbles and can feel herself swaying and Liam quickly takes hold of her elbow to keep her upright. "I'm sure It's just the biotics.." She adds and waves her hand dismissively to try and convince him that she's fine and to let go of her.
"You don't look so great," Liam replies and she feels him back her against the wall so he can stop her from moving. "Scott!" He shouts over her shoulder and she knows they aren't far away enough for him to not hear them. "Scott, can you come here mate?" Liam shouts again making Cora wince slightly at the noise and then realises that her legs aren't doing their job of holding her weight anymore.
Cora feels Liam's hold on her tighten and knows he is the only thing keeping her off the ground at the moment. She hears the sound of a door opening and closing behind her, and the sound of feet that sound like someone is rushing to reach her. Scott is suddenly at her side and she feels silly for how worried he looks but relieved that he is there.
"I've got you.." Scott says as she feels him take her in his arms, tucking her legs over one of his arms and scooping her up against his chest. "Thanks, Liam, I'll get her to bed." He nods at Liam who she notices is watching her closely so she wraps her arms around Scott's neck. "I thought you were taking it steady?" Scott asks her as she feels him hold her tighter and his eyes search hers and he smiles.
"I think being carried by my space stud is taking it very steady." Cora returns his smile and notices he chuckles at her words. "I could get used to this." She adds and relaxes against his chest when he starts walking with her towards their room on the Tempest.
"See, I'm not the only one that is exhausted." Scott sighs when she lifts her hand to cover her mouth as she yawns. "Maybe you need a day in bed." He adds making her lift her head to look into his face and sees him wrinkle his nose at her and grin.
"That does sound tempting.." Cora smiles and strokes his shoulder. "Would you keep me company? A whole day is a lot of hours to fill. You think you could squeeze me into your schedule?" She continues which only makes his smile widen.
"I am really busy," Scott replies and she feels him hold her tighter as they reach their bedroom, dipping her slightly so she can press her hand against the control to open it. "There we go." He adds with a smile and she feels him carefully lower her to her feet, not letting go she notices until he's sure she is steady.
"SAM lights down.." Cora yawns as she totters slowly towards the bed and uses her toes to remove her shoes.
"SAM play Cora's sleep playlist," Scott adds with a flick of his fingers and she can see that he begins scrolling through the playlist that she often uses to try and fall asleep when she's struggling to do so.
Cora lets her eyes settle on Scott as he finds what he is looking for and a quiet piece of music begins to play, just loud enough for her to hear it but not be woken by it. Scott steps towards their bed and leans down to pull back the covers, making her smile to herself when she watches him rearranging her pillows and getting them ready for her. Their bed in what had originally been Scott's room on the Tempest was so much bigger than the one in their smaller room on the Nexus, but she hadn't lost him in it yet.
"Are you staying?" Cora whispers as she looks at him and sees that his words make him glance up from making sure the bed is going to be comfortable for her.
"Of course I am." Scott smiles at her and motions with the curve of his hand for her to come closer. She carefully walks to him on her wobbly legs and sighs when he takes her in his arms again and draws him against his chest. "You ready for bed?" He whispers and presses a soft kiss against the top of her head.
"So ready." She replies with another yawn and feels him loosen his hold on her so that he can carefully help her out of her AI trousers and top. Cora can't help but notice how gentle he is being with her, taking his time to undress her.
"Hang on.." Scott says as Cora watches him reach past her and down into the drawers beside the bed, pulling out one of his own gym t-shirts. He gives her a small smile when she lifts her arms to let him slide the much too-big top on over her head. "Now you won't get cold." He smiles before pressing a kiss against her forehead.
"Thanks, Scott." Cora sighs and looks up into his face, letting her eyes settle into his. "For everything." She adds seeing him nod lightly at her words and then lift his hands to stroke her cheeks, noticing how warm and comforting his touch is.
"You don't have to thank me." Scott smiles so she lets him help her into the bed.
Cora can't help but let out another sigh when she feels the soft mattress sink beneath her and soon snuggles up beneath the duvet that he pulls over her. She moves until she is completely comfortable and lets her head rest on the cool pillow. Cora closes her eyes lightly, trying to settle her mind but knowing it was going to be useless. All she could think about was how much she was hurting, the ache in her chest and the racing thoughts of what had happened.
"SAM lights off." She hears Scott's voice before it goes completely dark in their bedroom so she opens her eyes, turning her head to try and see him in the dark. Cora can only see the shape of him but then hears the telltale sounds of him starting to remove his own clothes and the sound of them being dropped to the floor.
"Scott.." Cora sniffs before quickly turning to bury her head into her pillow as she sobs.
"I'm here, baby," Scott whispers and she hears him quickly clambering into the bed and closing the space between them. "It's alright. Just let it out.." He continues quietly as she feels him scoop her up in his arms and drag her into his hold. "Just let it out." He whispers again and she notices he strokes her hair letting her cry into his shoulder.
—/—
Cora slowly lets her eyes open as she begins to wake up properly, feeling them start to adjust and noticing that it's no longer completely dark in their bedroom. She decides it must be nearly morning and the Tempest's automated lights must have begun their wake cycle, she closes her eyes again and lets herself sink back into her pillow wanting to go back to sleep and forget about everything that has happened for a few minutes more.
She couldn't remember the last time she'd fallen apart like that, well she could remember.. And that was even worse. Cora lifts her arm to cover over her eyes to block out the light and will herself not to cry again. Everything had been a lie and everything that made her who she was, was a lie. She forces that sadness away when she is sure she can now hear movement in the room with her and remember that Scott had held her all night and just let her cry until there was nothing left.
"Hey, are you awake?" She hears his voice so lowers her arm and opens her eyes, letting them find him across the room and she can see he's making her some coffee. Cora watches his eyes meet hers and give her a small smile but she can see he looks worried.
"Unfortunately." Cora sighs and notices her words make him chuckle and she hopes he'll be slightly less worried about her now. She watches as he walks back towards the bed until he places her mug down onto the bedside table.
"Well, it's still early. Why don't you get another hour or so?" Scott replies and she feels the bed beneath her move when he kneels on the mattress and lifts the covers so he can slip back into the space next to her. "How are you feeling?" He whispers.
Cora rolls onto her front and slides her arms beneath her pillow, fixing her eyes on him and feeling so lucky that he's still there. She gives him a small smile when he reaches over to brush her hair behind her ear and then strokes his fingers on the back of her head. Cora can see how tired he looks and knows he didn't get much sleep either, the dark marks beneath his eyes show how exhausted he still is. He'd gone almost straight from his deathbed to finding the Ark and now all he was thinking about was her and supporting her.
"Ashamed of my behaviour.." Cora whispers and notices he doesn't look like he likes her answer but he doesn't interrupt her. She watches him settle beside her so that he can wrap his arm around her, his palm coming to rest between her shoulder blades. "I was completely out of control, Scott." She adds and hears his sigh when he starts stroking her back.
"It's understandable," Scott whispers quietly with another gentle stroke of her hair.
"Is it?" She asks and sees him nod, she didn't feel like anything she'd been doing was justified. "I just feel like it's all my fault. Why did I trust her, Scott?" She continues and then smiles lightly at him when he holds his arm out and invites her into his embrace again.
"Come here.." He whispers motioning her to him.
"When did I become so trusting? Have I always just followed so blindly?" Cora sighs and quickly wraps her arms around his middle when he does the same, letting herself forget about everything apart from how safe he makes her feel.
"Isn't that what they trained us to do?" Scott asks her making her sigh again. "I know the military wanted our complete loyalty. Isn't that what the Asari wanted too?" He adds which she can only nod in agreement, it had been drilled into them since day one. Cora more than anyone believed in chain-of-command, and that she was to obey orders and rules. The Asari had been the same.
"I know, your right.." Cora whispers feeling Scott kiss the top of her head.
"Then it's not your fault. Following orders, following what we are told to do is ingrained." Scott adds. "So don't be so hard on yourself, Eltee." He chuckles which makes her smile to herself and buries her face into his neck. "You didn't know you were putting your trust in the wrong people." He adds making her nod and squeeze him tightly. "How could you know?" Scott whispers.
"I guess I couldn't.." Cora sighs and closes her eyes tightly, relaxing into his arms and just focusing on his fingertips that he trails over her back and the gentle kisses he places on her face. "I'm so glad I've got you." She mumbles.
"I'm glad I've got you, too," Scott whispers quietly and cuddles her closer. "Now get some more sleep, okay?" He adds and she smiles when he looks into her eyes.