XXXXIX.
"I can't believe it's raining.." Cora sighs quietly as she rests her chin into the palm of her hand and lets her eyes lift to watch the large and increasingly heavy spots of rain hit the window of the Tempest. "On EOS." She huffs her breath onto the glass.
"It's because of you." She hears Scott's reply behind her which makes her snort. "You put those words out into the universe, and I quote.." He continues and she can hear that it sounds like he is rummaging around in one of the supplies boxes. "There's sand and sunshine." Scott chuckles quietly making her huff again.
"Did I actually say that?" She asks as she glances over her shoulder from her spot leaning against the window, and fixes them on him. Noticing that she was right and he is pulling out large amounts of the contents of the large grey box and that he is looking for something. "Those exact words?" Cora continues and smiles at him when he looks up from what he is doing and returns her smile, his blue eyes meeting hers.
"Yes, baby.." Scott smiles at her as she sees that he returns to what he is doing and begins putting aside a tent, a few pairs of unmatched boots that could belong to anyone and various bits of junk that obviously isn't what he is looking for. "I remember it like it was yesterday." He mumbles making her smile when she remembers that it had been the day before, and maybe she had made that comment about EOS.
"Your funny, Ryder." Cora smiles to herself and goes back to looking out of the window and the disappointing sight of heavy rain on EOS when they'd planned to explore and spend time together. "I don't think I'm powerful enough to summon rain." She adds and hears him laugh.
"I think you could summon anything." She hears Scott's reply and smiles lightly knowing it's a compliment, although he did think she was a bit more badass than she actually was. "If you really set your mind to it." He adds with a smile in his voice.
"I'll try and summon some sunshine." Cora sighs quietly and leans closer to the glass, letting her eyes focus on Prodromos through the rain and watching the settlement that is always so alive with activity disappear into the gloom when it rains harder.
The Lieutenant can see that lots of the residents are outside, it didn't rain very often on EOS but now that they'd managed to get the planet under control it was getting better. It was beginning to green up, plants were returning, and EOS was thriving. Cora leans her cheek against the glass so she can look further towards the buildings and smiles when she sees a group of them run out into it and can see they are celebrating the downfall. Maybe she wouldn't try and summon sunshine, they were enjoying the change. Cora hears Scott sigh in frustration behind her so she glances over her shoulder again to see that he is crouching down now and going through the pile of supplies in case he's missed something.
"Why are you making such a mess?" She asks as she watches him stand and place his hands on his hips, noticing that he has a look of slight confusion on his face when his brow furrows.
"I'm looking for the climbing gear," Scott replies as his attention turns to her again and she knows he is watching her. "I'm sure it was in here." He adds with a shake of his head as his gaze returns to the trunks. "We used it last didn't we?" He asks making her nod her head in agreement and make a positive noise in response.
Cora knew that they mostly set out on foot whenever they had the chance, on these new planets. If they had shore leave and could spend a leisurely day exploring they were more likely to do that, but sometimes they'd had to use ropes and and harnesses for more challenging places. Of course, Cora could use her biotics to scale anything they came up against, but there was something nice and relaxing about spending her time going on adventures with Scott. He'd shown her that just because she could zip past him, dangling at the end of a rope with him was much more fun. It made her feel like they were the only people in the whole universe when they were together.
"I don't think we'll see much in this weather," Cora adds quietly, wondering why he'd not only want them to go climbing in the rain but also why when they won't get to enjoy the view at the top. That was the best part.
"I thought we could go caving." She hears Scott's suggestion so looks over at him again, watching him start rummaging in another box. "What do you think?" He grins and his eyes find her.
"So, down instead of up?" Cora smiles at him and lifts her hand to point downwards and towards the floor of the Tempest store room and notices her words make him chuckle and then nod. "All these dangerous situations you put me in, Pathfinder Ryder." She adds with another smile while trying to ignore the ache when she remembers she'd said the same to Alec all those months ago, hoping Scott doesn't notice when her smile shrinks.
"Here it is.." Scott announces making Cora glad that he's finally found what he was looking for when she watches him take hold of a bag full of ropes, and pulleys and then pick up some harnesses. "Have you been before?" He asks when his attention returns to her and she shakes her head, not a lot of opportunity to do much at all when growing up in space. She'd just about survived.
Cora steps away from the window and crosses the room towards Scott, watching him begin putting away all of the equipment they don't need back into the storage trunk. She smiles to herself when he scoops it up in his arms and dumps it all in, not taking much care or worrying that they'll be in exactly the same situation when they try and find the tent next time they want to spend the night under the stars and away from prying eyes of their crew. Cora laughs when he quickly slams the box shut and notices that her laughter draws his eyes back to her and he grins before sitting down on the lid and motioning for her to join him so she carefully steps around his knees and sits beside him.
"This will be my first time." Cora nods and sees him smile and look pleased, she knew how much he liked sharing new things with her and it felt extra special when it was something they could do together. Scott was a very good teacher.
"You'll be a natural." Scott smiles before reaching to take the lines of the chord in his hands, lifting them to his knees so he can start preparing the climbing gear. Cora lowers her eyes so she can watch his fingers moving over the rope, seeing how skilled they are as he carefully he unwinds the ropes.
"I'm sure you'll teach me the ropes." She whispers as she hears him laugh at her joke and look at her, shaking his head as he smiles. "I'm sure I'll get the hang of it." Cora giggles as Scott lets out an exasperated sigh.
"Both terrible.." Scott smiles at her and laughs again before going back to packing their bags with the supplies they'll need. "You ready to go?" He asks and she notices his eyes slowly move down her body because she is very far from dressed for a trip anywhere. Cora smiles at him when their eyes meet again.
"Of course, I'm not." Cora smiles at him and lowers her own eyes to see that he isn't either. "What do I even wear?" She asks and sees his smile widens and he looks to be thinking about it.
"Something sexy." He finally replies making her laugh and knock her shoulder against his. "And really, really tight." Scott grins at her.
"Very helpful." She laughs again and leans closer to him. "How are you feeling today?" Cora asks and notices he looks to be thinking about that question, making her feel guilty that after everything he'd been through the last few weeks, he was still more concerned about her. "I know everything has been a bit..' Cora adds as he nods.
"Fucked up?" Scott adds making her smile and nods in agreement. Completely fucked and although they'd found the Ark, it hadn't exactly gone to plan. "Honestly?" He continues so she waits for him to finish. "I'm feeling better. But, not that great today. I think I'm just tired." Scott says as he stops twisting the ropes around his hand and fixes his eyes on hers.
"You do look a little pale.." Cora replies and watches a small smile tug at the corner of his mouth, he'd been so unwell from his Ezo poisoning and she could see in his eyes that he was still struggling. "I'm worried about you and I've been so caught up in finding the Ark. I've forgotten how close you came.." Cora sighs and doesn't continue. The medication was making him sick and she knew neither of them was sleeping much, but thank everything that he was alive.
"You don't need to worry about me. It's just those meds." Scott smiles and gives her a positive nod as he finishes with their ropes. "Those meds that mean I can touch and kiss you." He continues and leans closer to kiss her softly as if to prove his point. "Totally worth it," Scott whispers with another smile.
"I'm glad you think so.." Cora replies and returns his smile when she notices his eyes settle into hers.
"I feel better than I did. And, as close as I was to giving up on this whole Ark thing.." He nods so she takes hold of his hand and lifts it to kiss the back of his hand. "I was relieved when we found it at last. But, only because we didn't have to go through that disappointment anymore." Scott continues and she sees that he looks guilty about that.
"What's wrong with that?" Cora asks as he looks at her again.
"I should have wanted to find the Ark for the Initiative. For Tann and Addison, not for me and to get me off of their shit list." Scott nods and lowers his eyes for a moment. "I'm a bad Pathfinder." He laughs lightly so she smiles when their eyes meet again.
"No, you're not." She replies and leans against his shoulder. "I'm sorry that Ark was so personal to me. I should've known that would put so much pressure on you, Scott. Pressure that you didn't need and I had no right to place on your shoulders." Cora nods and smiles at him when he draws her attention back to him with his finger beneath her chin.
"You have nothing to be sorry for. Anyway, we can put all of that behind us now. That is what matters." Scott smiles at her so she returns it and then he nods. "We just need to have a good day to recover and spend some quality time together." He adds his words making her smile in agreement. "Shall we head out if it's not going to stop raining?" Scott asks.
"Okay, give me five minutes to get ready." Cora nods as she jumps to her feet before leaning down to press a soft kiss against his mouth, laughing when she feels him grab her hand to slow her down. "Okay, maybe ten.." She adds with another kiss which makes his smile widen.
"Need a hand?" Scott smiles at her as she
"I was just going to shower.." She replies before pausing and realising what he was asking. Cora notices he grins and bites his bottom lip when their eyes meet. "I actually need both of your hands." Cora giggles quietly and takes hold of them both in hers and pulls him up off of the crate. "Maybe your mouth too?" She adds.
"I thought you might." She hears him laugh behind her when she starts guiding him back towards their room.
—/—
"You okay down there, Ryder?" Cora calls to him as she tightens her hold on the rope, twisting it around her glove-covered hand again for good measure. She knew Scott wasn't being held up from falling solely by her and that they had pulleys and bolts in place, but she didn't want to drop him either.
"I still can't see the bottom." She hears him shout back to her, noticing how far away his voice sounds now and that she can't see him now he's disappeared into the darkness and gloom of this cave. "It's pretty deep." He continues.
"I can't see anything." Cora sighs to herself when she glances around and realises that she is now completely surrounded by the thick blackness and can't even see her hands in front of her face.
Cora lets her eyes search for him, only just spotting the light from his Omni and lamp on his head that is bouncing off of the old red walls as he climbs lower. She can no longer hear the comforting sound of his pants and breathing or the distinctive noise that his trainers were making as he scrambled against the stone. Cora strains her ears to hear anything, but all she can hear is the constant drip drip dripping of water above her and the loud pounding of her heart. She lowers her eyes to her hands when she notices them shaking, suddenly feeling the cold sweat cover the skin on her body and the panic surrounding her because she can't see Scott, just as she hadn't been able to on Habitat 7. They'd been making their way through the cave and caverns for hours, slowly working their way further down into the planet's core. But, now they were separated and the threat of a full-blown attack was quickly trying to take over.
"Scott?!" She shouts again when she feels a light tug on the rope that Scott has attached to his harness and is using to try and find the floor of this particular cavern so that she can join him. "Please, come back!" Cora shouts as she tries to take a deep lungful of the stagnant air around her and focus on her breathing, trying not to let it consume her. She tries to take another deep breath like she'd been taught but feels how tight her chest is.
"What's wrong?!" Scott calls back to her as she feels the rope tighten again and that it moves beneath her palms, she loosens her hold to give him some slack but notices how much her hands are sweating. "I'm coming!" He shouts again as she screws her eyes up tightly and tries to stop her body from shaking.
"Scott.." Cora mumbles hoping he's heard what she says as she tries to keep her breathing steady but notices she is starting to gasp for air, her body fighting her and noticing that the panic is turning her arms and legs to jelly. She suddenly feels like they are heavy and she has no strength left as her head begins to spin. Cora feels her chest tightening, the weight pressing on her not letting the air into her lungs and cutting off her oxygen. "I can't breath!" She sobs and lifts her hand to grab at her throat, desperate to suck air into her lungs that won't come.
"Almost there." She can hear the sound of Scott puffing as he quickly climbs back up the rock face that he's climbed down, noticing he doesn't react when her shaking hands no longer hold his rope tightly. "Cora?!" Scott shouts up to her as she lets go of the rope and drops to the floor, forcing both of her hands on the cold dirt beneath her and trying to focus on the sand and stone that she digs her fingertips into.
"I think I'm going to be sick.." Cora groans quietly as she uses her fingertips to drag herself towards the edge before she curls her body into itself on the ground, feeling the nausea hit her hard. She presses her forehead against the red stone desperate not to vomit on herself or Scott, gasping for breath.
"I'm here.." She hears his voice as he reaches the top and heaves himself over the edge, crawling across the floor until he reaches her. "Nice easy breathes." Scott continues before wrapping himself around her until he is covering her body with his and she knows he can feel the trembling through their touch. "Breath in.." Cora hears him whisper as she manages to open her eyes and sees his head torch shining straight ahead of them. "Now out.." He continues as she does as he's asked and tries to match her breathing to his.
"Scott.." Cora cries quietly.
"I'm here, baby. Just listen to my voice." He whispers as Cora tries to focus on the heat of him, and the feeling of his warm skin touching hers to bring her back to where she is. "Oh, Cora." He whispers when she feels him stroke her head as she manages to reach away from him and over the edge of the stone before she's sick.
"I'm sorry.." Cora mumbles, feeling her body tightening as her stomach tries to empty itself again with another retch but there's nothing left. "I'm sorry." She sniffs and notices he places his hand on her back and strokes her gently.
"What are you saying sorry for?" Scott replies as she watches him lean towards their bag, seeing that he unzips it and produces a bottle of water. "Here.." He smiles lightly at her and offers it to her. "Take a little sip," Scott adds as he shuffles to sit beside where she is still laying on the floor, his hand returning to her back trying to soothe her.
"I was nearly sick on you," Cora replies and hears him laugh quietly and notices that he keeps his arm around her and that he carefully helps her sit up until she can lean against him. She lifts the bottle to her lips and sips it as he's told her to do, trying to ignore the way her stomach knots when the cold water hits it.
"So?" Scott smiles as his eyes remain on her in the darkness as she drinks and she watches him remove his torch. "I've definitely done the same to you." He adds with another smile, maybe when he'd eaten too much ice cream but definitely when he'd been poisoned by the Ezo. "Are you alright?" Scott asks drawing her eyes to his as notices how concerned he looks again, knowing how close she'd been to a full-blown panic attack. "I thought you were feeling better?" He sighs and she can tell he thinks it's his fault.
"I thought so too." She nods lightly and lets her eyes lower to her hands which are still shaking around the water bottle that she has at her fingertips. "I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move.." Cora sighs and feels him lift his hand to place it lightly on the back of her head, stroking her gently until she looks at him again.
"That must have been scary," Scott whispers and draws her closer to him so she can rest her head against the side of his. "Was it a panic attack? Do you remember what happened and what caused it?" He asks and she nods again. Cora drinks some more of the water when he motions to it.
"I felt like I was on that planet all over again." She replies and sits back to look at him, noticing her words make him nod and that his eyes are fixed on her in the gloom. "In that moment when I couldn't see you either of you." Cora continues and swallows hard before taking another drink trying to remove the taste of bile from her mouth. "I couldn't see you through the darkness." She sniffs and lifts her hand to brush away any sign of a tear from her cheek but notices he beats her to it with his palm.
"Shhh, it's alright," Scott whispers with a light stroke of his thumb on her cheek. "You went through hell that day, Cora. I know it isn't easy but you've got to remember that we made it. Even though you couldn't see where I was, you didn't give up on me. You saved my ass and I'm here." He continues making her nod at his words.
"Alec saved you," Cora replies and sighs when he wraps his arms around her middle so she can rest her chin on his bare shoulder, knowing he wasn't going to talk about his father with her. "I just felt that same complete panic and fear of not knowing if you were okay. Not knowing if I was about to be without you. Just surrounded by the dark." She whispers into his neck and feels him slide his hands down her back.
"You won't be without me. Never, okay? I'm always coming back to you." Scott replies before tightening his hold on her. "Would it help if we talked to Lexi? She might have some ideas to help so it doesn't happen again." He continues making her nod in agreement and lets him keep his arms wrapped around her for a little longer until she feels the adrenaline start to leave her. "I'm sorry you're going through this." He sighs.
"You don't think she'll say I'm weak and too attached?" Cora smiles lightly at him when he loosens his hold and she can look at him, noticing he laughs lightly and shakes his head. She lifts her hand to stroke the front of his hair.
"I'm the one that punched a guy who called you a name, remember?" Scott chuckles making her smile widen when she remembers that night. "If anyone is too attached it's me." He smiles proudly at her as he wraps his arm around her shoulders and presses a kiss against her cheek. "You've just been through a lot and need to recover." Scott continues with another soft kiss.
"We both have." Cora nods as she watches him reach into the bag and begin rummaging for something, noticing he pulls out a small silver and orange square that she knows contains nutritional powder that has electrolytes and rehydration ingredients in it. "Baby, I'm fine" She whispers before he holds it up to her.
"You need to rehydrate." Scott nods and lifts the packet higher. "Come on, before SAM starts telling you your levels are low." He smiles at her so she just nods in agreement and takes it from him. "The last thing we need is you passing out." She hears him say when she focuses on opening it and tipping the orange powder onto her tongue.
"Passing out is your thing." Cora smiles at him which makes him chuckle. "Thank you, sweetheart." She returns his smile and drinks from the bottle again, letting it swirl in her mouth until all of the powder is gone. She had to admit the powder was making her feel a bit better already and easing the sickness. "You always take good care of me." She smiles at him as she takes hold of his hand in hers and squeezes it a few times.
"Well, you do the same for me." He nods at her. "I'm sorry I brought you down here. Maybe we should stick to above ground." Scott says with a smile and she knows he is trying to make her smile. "I thought this would make you feel better after, you know.." Scott adds before his voice lowers to nothing.
"I was feeling better." Cora begins and notices he smiles at her words. "This has been such a nice day, Scott. A really good distraction from how I was feeling about yesterday." She continues and can see his eyes are still watching her closely and that she can still see the worry in them. "It's not your fault." She nods and sees him finally give in and nod too.
"Do you think you're ready to head back?" He asks and she sees him look around them and then towards the small tunnel that they'd come through to enter this cave. "We can stay down here but I think you could do with some fresh air," Scott adds as she feels him unwrap his arm from around her and climb to his feet, noticing he dusts off his shorts with his palms before holding his hands out to help her up.
"Fresh air sounds good." Cora sighs and takes hold of both of his hands and lets him guide her to her feet, noticing that her legs still feel a bit weak and that it's going to be slow going getting back to the surface. She lowers her eyes to his hands and notices that his knuckles are scraped and look like they've been bleeding. "Your hurt.." She whispers as he lowers his eyes too.
"Just a few scratches." He replies with a smile when she softly runs her fingertips over the back of his hand. "It's nothing. Don't worry." Scott adds and glances down at his bare knees that are scuffed from his quick ascent back up the rock face to get to her. "You still feeling wobbly?" He asks her as she looks into his face and sees him give her a smile that warms her inside.
"You might have to leave me here." She replies and hears him laugh lightly and shake his head. Cora watches him unbuckling his harness and gathering the ropes, stepping out of it and shoving them all into their bag along with the rest of the water. "Are you done with caving?" Cora smiles at him.
"Yeah, come on.." Scott smiles and turns his back to her and motions for her to jump on, making her laugh quietly when he bends down so she can. "I'll carry you until you feel better." He adds and she watches him glance over his shoulder at her and smile.
"Are you sure?" Cora asks but he just nods so she lets him help her onto his back, feeling him guide her legs around his hips as he leans down so she can take hold of the bag and she shrugs it onto her arms. "I'm getting too used to this, Ryder." She giggles quietly and wraps her arms around his neck.
"I aim to please." Scott grins at her and places his palms on her legs. "We'll go the most direct route." He adds as she notices he lifts his arm to activate his Omni, his eyes lowering to the display to look at his map before he begins walking them both across the cave and towards the mouth of the tunnel.
"No rush," Cora whispers as she tightens her hold on him and cuddles into his back, trying to match her breathing with his to keep it steady. "Do you think it's me overreacting? Feeling so hurt? Am I too sensitive?" She asks when she feels him duck them beneath a lower-hanging red rock.
"About Sarissa?" Scott replies and she nods lightly but then remembers he can't see her and is focusing on where his feet are and stepping, making sure they are safe.
"Yes," Cora whispers quietly and smiles to herself when she feels him stroking her skin with his palm, knowing it's just a brief sign of affection and comfort. "About all of them." She adds and hears him puff as he jumps them over a small gap.
"No, that's understandable." Scott nods as he continues to walk, the sound of his trainers echoing against the walls. "If something or someone hurts you it isn't wrong to feel that way. You were questioning your whole foundation and who you are. That's a big deal." He adds making her sigh, wondering if anyone else would be as understanding as Scott was.
"I guess your right," Cora replies and she sees him nod. "Well, I've decided to not trust people anymore." She hears him chuckle and feels his body move beneath hers, noticing he draws her legs tighter around him when they squeeze between the wall and a boulder.
"No one? Probably not the best time to tell me." Scott replies before glancing over his shoulder at her and she sees him grin. "Especially as I'm currently carrying you out of here." He smiles at her when she strokes the back of his head.
"Present company excluded of course," Cora whispers as she squeezes him tighter and rests her head against the back of his. "I trust you, and only you." She adds and hears him sigh quietly as they continue through the next part of the cave, noticing that they start climbing higher.
"I'm glad you trust me." Scott smiles and lifts his hand to stroke her cheek softly. "I'll never let you down." He adds before lowering his arms to wrap them around himself and in turn her legs. "I'll always have your back." Scott continues making her smile to herself.
"I know you will. One of the many things I love about you, my wonderful Scott." Cora replies and hears him chuckle and laughs lightly when he bounces them over some split rocks on the ground. "Do you want me to throw up on you?" She laughs and holds him tighter.
Cora feels him holding her tightly as they squeeze through a natural break in the rock face, noticing he has to turn his shoulders slightly to get through it with her. She lifts her hands to hold the backpack on her own shoulders before returning her arms to around his neck. She notices that they are still walking higher through the twists and turns of the caves and caverns, Scott dodging the constant dripping of water from the ceiling and trying to keep them on level ground as much as they can. Cora knew it would still be a couple of hours at the gentle pace but she didn't want him to wear himself out by going too quickly with her on his back. They were going a different route and she notices every now and then he lifts his Omni to check they are going the right way. All she wanted was to get back to the Tempest, get herself out of her clothes and have a very hot shower.
"No, thank you." Scott finally laughs as he ducks them beneath another overhang. "You don't have to stop trusting people.." He adds making her huff lightly. "Just stop caring what people think about you. Stop holding yourself to anyone else's standards. You are so amazing, Cora." Scott continues making her sigh.
"You only say that because you're perfect." Cora sighs and hears him let out a loud laugh that bounces off of the walls of the cavern.
"I don't think so." Scott laughs again before letting his fingertips stroke her skin. "I can think of a few people you could trust. Our team and Lexi are a good choice." He adds making her smile to herself and lean against his back. "You just have to make people earn your trust, Cora." Scott nods so she does too, he was right. She did give her trust too easily and mostly to people that didn't deserve it.
"I hate when your right," Cora mumbles as he laughs at her words.
"I know." Scott grins at her and lifts his hand to brush her hair back. "Just don't close your heart off again." He continues and carefully steps over some cracks in the ground. "It's a really lovely, very beautiful, and kind heart," Scott adds making her sigh at his sweet words and leans to kiss him softly on the cheek.
"You made it that way." She replies and notices he smiles at her.
"You made mine to same." Scott chuckles quietly and she notices he looks over his shoulder at her and smiles. "I used to be a miserable asshole." He laughs again making her smile, she knew that wasn't exactly true.
"You've always been a sweetheart," Cora replies before he chuckles again. "I think I might speak to Vederia. She's an Asari.." She continues and notices that Scott nods at her words. "And she has been hurt by Sarissa too." Cora sighs and rests against Scott again.
"I think that's a good idea." Scott begins and she notices the smile in his voice. "It might help with how you've been feeling about your training." He adds as he holds her tighter. "Help with the anxiety and feelings that you've been struggling with. You wont feel like this forever." Scott nods.
"I hope not." Cora sighs quietly.