Remaining Competitors:

Veterans Falcons: Cody, Harold, Justin, LeShawna, Shawn, Sky, Topher

Newbies Birdies: Cameron, Dakota, Dawn, Jo, Lightning, Mike, Sam, Scott, Zoey

Chris: (recaping the last episode) "Last time on Total Drama, the players returned to the abandoned mine...That quickly led them into several tunnels that everyone had to escape from. Cameron kissed a bat. Zeke found a way leading his tribe, and stealing the crystal from a bear, while Scott and Lightning found a way to annoy Sam throughout the journey, and more than they should have.No one made it to the finish line, but due to the Sam's injuries, the Newbies showed us how to win a challenge, in the most disgusting and hilarious way ever. Ezekiel finally went home, but with a little extra karma, Lightning and Scott became the most HATED members of all your team, but this is today and someone's going to blow up. So hip hip hooray, in Total! Drama! Madness!"

(Theme Song plays)

(The episode begins at the spa hotel, where all the newbies except Lightning and Scott were having breakfast, Sam was finally with them, but now in a wheelchair and with a bandage on his head)

Cameron: (eating some pancakes) "Nothing better than having breakfast..."

Mike: (serving himself juice) "That with your best friends..."

Zoey: (raising her glass) "For the friends!"

Everyone: (except Jo, raising their glasses) "For the friends!-"

(Glass is heard breaking, and everyone turns to Sam, who had dropped his glass on the floor)

Sam: "Oops, sorry, my hands can't hold anything, it's like I didn't feel them"

Dawn: "Let me see how they are" (grabs her hands and closes her eyes) "Hmm, yes, you have lost all touch with them, it will be temporary, but for now, you won't be able to hold anything anymore, in short, without video games for a good time" (Sam says nothing) "Aren't you going to complain?"

Sam: (sadly) "What's the point? Yes, besides, I don't have anything to play with anymore"

(Dakota hugs Sam)

Dakota: "Don't worry, my Sammy-Bear, we'll take care of you for the rest of the day."

(The camera zooms out of the window, and it is shown that outside the hotel, Scott and Lightning are sitting in front of a bush, Lightning is still sleeping and Scott is looking at the window, angry)

Scott: "Great, Sam gets pampered inside, while we're banished outside for something we didn't do" (Lightning continues snoring but Scott wakes him up)

Lightning: "Wh-what's wrong, is it daylight already?"

Scott: "Yeah, and we had a bad night because of that butterball with eyes, now everyone hates us!"

Lightning: "MAN, this sucks! He asked me if Sky woke up okay"

Scott: (thinking) "Maybe we should form an alliance to get rid of that fool for once, what do you say?" (Notices that Lightning is missing) "Damn..."

(Cut to Lightning knocking on the door of the losers cabin, Sky opens the door and sees Lightning)

Lightning: "Morning, Sky, how did you-" (before asking, Sky slaps him, looking angry) "Ow, what the hell was that?! ...I mean, why?"

Sky: (glares at him) "Don't think you don't know? The Newbies told us everything, you and Scott are responsible for Sam being hurt, and for you bothering him all day"

Lightning: (shocked) "B-but we saved him, remember?"

Sky: "Do you think that this solves everything, well no, you almost killed him, and you think that bothering him is just a game? Now I regret giving you that kiss, you don't deserve it"

Lightning: "But, Sky..."

Sky: "GET AWAY, and don't ever talk to me or come near me again, EVER!"

(Lightning gives up and sighs, as he sadly walks away from Sky, Justin looked at all this as he approached her)

Justin: "It seems that you are alone now, eh, well, if you want I am-"

Sky: "I don't care!" (enters and closes the door)

Topher: (narrating from Justin's side) "Uhhh, looks like Justin just got ignored by a lady, again."

Justin: (glares at him) "Laugh all you want, you're just an applicant who can't compete against me, you're jealous of me"

Topher: (scoffs) "Ha, me? Jealous of you? I'm only jealous for something worthwhile."

Justin: "Face it, you're not more handsome than me"

Topher: "Prettier than me, I have nothing to envy you, just look at me, my hair is a national treasure, babies envy my skin, the host of this show should be me!"

Justin: "Well, how about we make a bet, whoever manages to win for today's challenge, will be the best, and he will be the most handsome boy on the island"

Topher: "Ha, deal!"

Confessionals

Justin: "That Topher he thinks he is? He absolutely doesn't know what it's like to have good taste, I'll show him how things are done."

Topher: "I'll admit it, I only accepted because I knew I'd win the bet, that Justin doesn't know what the great Topher is capable of"

End Confessional

Chris: (over PA) "Hey campers, meet at the river at 12 o'clock now!"

(Now we cut to all the contestants and Chris near the river)

Chris: "Good morning pain magnets, I hope you don't mind what I have planned for today, I call it 'The Painy-Greasy Obstacle Course'"

Topher: "Great name, Chris."

Chris: "Thanks as always, Topher, now let me explain each obstacle in this race" (the camera pans to a pit full of thorny bushes, and on top of them were two grease-painted logs) "First are the grease stumps" (then we see a big cliff, a rope was tied to the other end of the cliff) "Then it's the greasy zip line" (then we see a bunch of tubes) "then the greasy tubular maze" (then we see a road full of tires) " then it's the greasy tire walk" (then we see a road full of grease, and at the beginning there were a couple of wheelbarrows) "then it's the greasy wheelbarrow race" (then we see a wall of grease with two ropes hanging) "And finally , the wall, also greasy"

Cameron: (worried) "That's a lot of grease"

Chris: "I know, now, I would have you use a relay, but I decided to make it more interesting."

Topher: "What will you make us use then?" (rubs hands together) "Oh, this will be so good..."

(Everyone hears some grunts, and sees that at the starting line, Chef was pulling two pigs on a leash, who were not cooperating)

Chris: "You will use greasy pigs, they are not so much as relays, but food"

Topher: (chuckling, as Justin rolled his eyes) "Nice one!"

Chris: "Thank you, the first camper to clear the last obstacle with his pig wins for his team"

Cameron: "But there are 6 obstacles in total, and in each team there are more than six people"

Chris: "Well, some of you team can skip the challenge, but two will have to do an obstacle together"

Mike: "Zoey and me!" (grabs Zoey as she hugs her) "No question!" (Zoey blushes)

Topher: "I can do TWO obstacles without anyone's help"

Justin: "Oh yeah? I can do it myself, THREE!"

Topher: "FOUR!"

Justin: "FIVE!"

Topher: "SIX!"

Justin: "SEVEN!"

Topher: "EIGHT!"

Justin: "NINE!"

LeShawna: "ENOUGH! I decide that you two do it together so you guys stop fighting, okay?"

(Topher and Justin stare at each other)

Topher/Justin: "Fine..."

Topher: (raises hand) "Um, ask, can I use something to protect my hair, I won't let my beautiful hair get greasy"

Justin: (raises hand) "That's right, what about my beautiful face"

Chris: "Well, since I care about hair too, we'll give a hat to whoever wants to wear it" (The Chef came with a box full of blue pool hats, and the ones who took one were Topher, Justin, Zoey , Dakota and LeShawna) "Now, talk to each other and decide who should go in each obstacle, you have 5 minutes"

(We cut to the Veterans Falcons)

Topher: "Okay team, since I'm the cutest and he's the greatest, I think he should go first."

Justin: "You?! Who said you were the most handsome and greatest?"

Topher: "No one, just the absolute truth"

Shawn: "Guys, stop arguing, it's obvious that Sky should go first, she's basically an Olympian"

Sky: "It's true, also, you two go together, therefore, choose a place that didn't spoil us so much"

Justin: "With him with me I think not-"

LeShawna: (gets annoyed) "That's it, that's how it's going to be, Sky first, Shawn second, me third, Harold on the neomatics, Cody the wheelbarrow" (points to Topher and Justin) "And you two the wall, go go!" (Everyone runs towards the assigned obstacles)

(Cut to the Newbies Birdies, with Dakota and Zoey putting their hats over their hair, but when Dakota puts it on, the hat flies off, she puts it back on but the same thing happens)

Zoey: "Why don't you put it on?"

Dakota: (sighs) "My hair won't let me, it's gotten stronger, it seems indestructible now"

Confessional

"Mike": Hmm, that's meaning it..."

End Confessional

FLASHBACK

(Cut to a flashback at night, where Dakota was sleeping on the bed inside the spa hotel room, "Mike" appeared from the shadows and smiled evilly as he pulled out a pair of scissors and opened them, approaching Dakota's luminous green hair, ready to cut most of it, but when the scissors collided with his hair, the scissors broke into a thousand pieces, "Mike" gasped as he hid under the bed, when Dakota woke up sleepily)

END FLASHBACK

Jo: "Alright, since we have more members, two of us should stay, it's obvious that it will be Lightning and Scott" (both mentioned are shocked)

Lightning: "What?!"

Scott: "Why us?! Why not Sam?!" (Points at him) "Look at him, he's very hurt"

(Sam tries to get up from his wheelchair but falls to the ground)

Sam: "Um guys help me I don't think I can get up without my hands"

Jo: "Well, you guys left it in that state yourselves"

Lightning: "It was an accident! We swear!"

Jo: "If you are so sorry? Why don't they play for him"

Lightning: "Good idea"

Scott: "Yeah, I'll take the last point-"

Dawn: "Actually, I think Scott should take care of Sam, don't you?"

Scott: (turns to see Sam on the ground, groaning, and then he sighs) "Fine..."

Dawn: (claps excitedly) "Great, now, I offer to go to the last obstacle, I promise I won't let you down"

Lightning: "Me too, Lightning will take care of the first obstacle, and give you a great advantage, Sha-Bam!"

Jo: "Anyway, Protein-Brain and Nature-Freak took their places, me and the others will choose a place"

(Cut to Lightning and Sky standing at the starting line, holding their pigs in the leash, Lightning looks at Sky)

Lightning: "Wow, what a coincidence, we're at the same stop!" (Sky just glares at him, and he sighs)

Chris: (sitting on a beach chair next to Chef) "On your marks...get set..." (he honks, causing Sky's pig to run off and she chases after him)

Sky: "Hey, come back here!'

(The other pig just sits without wanting to move, which fills Lightning with determination)

Lightning: "For Sky!" (He picks up the pig and runs to the greasy logs, but when he steps on one, he starts to slip on the grease) "Woah, woah, woah!"

(Sky finally takes her pig over to the obstacle, and tries to push him over the log, but he farts in her face and she groans in disgust)

Shawn: (besides Jo) "You can do it! Just think you're being chased by a pack of zombie hands!"

Jo: "Hurry up, jockstraps!"

(Sky retrieves outside and pushes the pig and slides into it over the log, and does a somersault landing to the ground on his feet, and the pig is pulled by Shawn by the leash)

Shawn: "Well done, that's how you survive a zombie apocalypse!" (The pig escapes and takes him)

(Lightning keeps sliding until he reaches the bottom and falls and hits his crotch on the log)

Lightning: (painfully) "Sha-mommy!"

(Chris and Chef laugh from the beginning, seeing this on the screen, Lightning then slips and falls to the ground and passes the pig to Jo)

Jo: "What a big 'advantage' huh?"

Confessional

Lightning: "I hope Sky didn't see that."

End Confessional

(We see Shawn with a helmet on his head, running while carrying the pig on his back)

Shawn: "Alright Shawn, we're close to the cliff, all you have to do is use your head" (suddenly the pig bites his head inside the helmet) "Ow! I said 'head', not the brain!" (He didn't notice and fell off the cliff and landed at the bottom of the waterfall, but the pig slid over the zip line)

Jo: (walks over to the edge of the cliff, with the pig on his back) "Wow, looks like the Brain-Freak didn't have that much of a brain after all" (hooks the hook onto the zip line, and slides down it)

(Cut to the other side of the cliff, Dakota and LeShawna were waiting)

LeShawna: (opens her arms) "Come with-" (the pig crashes into her, knocking her away as Jo finishes sliding and hits the ground safely)

(Cut to the last section of the race, where Topher looks in front of the camera and smiles)

Topher: "Which pig will arrive first? Find out when we return in Total...Drama-"

Chris: (besides him, glaring at him) "Ahem?!"

Topher: "Oops, sorry I got carried away, continue..."

Chris: (looking at the camera, as Topher mimics behind him) "They're going head to head, and there's only one way to find out who will win? Later in Total! Drama! Madness!"

Topher: "Now can I do it?"

Chris: "NO!"

(Commercial Break)

(Cut to LeShawna trying to calm the pig down)

LeShawna: "Okay, dirty feet, you'd better calm down or else..." (she stares into the pig's eyes, and the pig stops saying something) "You look prettier just like that."

Confessional

LeShawna: "If someone doesn't want to cooperate, they don't want to mess with this sister."

End Confessional

(LeShawna carries the pig and goes inside the ducts, Dakota is seen looking at her fingernails when Jo had the pig while glaring at her)

Jo: "Um, excuse me, Miss Mutant, aren't you going to take the pig?"

Dakota: "Eww, no! That thing looks dirty and greasy, I'm not going to dirty my hair with that grease"

Jo: "And where is the hat you had before?"

Dakota: "And why don't you do it? I'm the type of girl who is beautiful and fabulous, you're the one who gets dirty and does things that suck" (Jo growled angrily)

Confessional

Jo: "Okay, I know she can kill me if I try, but she hates people like her, and I always want to beat her up, so they know I'm in charge!"

End Confessional

Jo: (yelling) "Listen, daddy's girl, you better get in that tube, or else-" (the pig freaks out and runs, pushing Dakota into the tube, and also taking Jo, while bumping into them and the pig passed through the tubes while moaning in pain)

Chris: (watching this from the screen) "You know, I was worried about the animal cruelty in this episode, but the cruelty between teammates is kind of funny."

(On the other side of the tubes, Harold and Cameron were waiting, until LeShawna came out of the tubes with the pig in her hands, now covered in grease.)

Harold: "Great, my beautiful LeShawna, now just-"

LeShawna: "Stop calling me beautiful and take the fucking pig" (hands the pig over to Harold, but the pig bites his hand)

Harold: (yelling) "AHHH, get it off, get it off, get it off!" (He runs while the pig kept biting his hand)

Confessional

Harold: "To be clear, I was just screaming to scare the pig more, I didn't feel a single pain at that moment"

End Confessional

(Cameron was leaving a trail of peanuts out of the tubes, just as the pig climbs out of them, with Dakota and Jo with him, now covered in grease)

Dakota: (gasps at how greasy she is) "My clothes! They're all ruined! I'm sweaty and greasy!" (Glares at Jo) "I look just like you!"

Jo: (gets up angrily) "Oh, shut up daddy's girl, it's not my fault you're all dirty!" (Dakota growls angrily before walking away)

(Cameron is seen running on the tires, while leaving a trail of nuts, which the pig ate and followed)

Chris: (over PA) "Looks like Cameron's internal animal trainer has come out!"

Confessional

Cameron: "Pigs love nuts, maybe they know that nuts slow motor degeneration caused by age"

End Confessional

(Cut to the start of the grease road, where Cody, Zoey and Mike are waiting by the wheelbarrows, Harold comes running up and grabs the pig out of his hand and falls into the wheelbarrow)

Harold: (looks at his hand all bitten off) "I hope he's not angry..."

(Cameron arrives and throws the nuts into the wheelbarrow, causing the pig to jump on the cart, followed by Zoey)

Cameron: "Good luck to you!"

Zoey: "Thank you so much, Cam!"

(Mike starts pushing the wheelbarrow, with Zoey and the pig inside, while Cody tries to catch up to them)

Zoey: "We're close to winning this!"

(Mike turns to see Cody, and suddenly gasps and smirks)

"Mike": "But a little sabotage wouldn't hurt" (picks up some grease on the floor and throws it over Cody's shoulder)

Cody: (yelling) "AHH, it's on me!"

("Mike" laughs evilly as he throws more fat right at Cody, but Zoey catches on)

Zoey: "Mike what are you doing?!"

("Mike" then gasps and becomes himself again)

Mike: "What happened?-" (suddenly he slips and makes him and Zoey fall to the greasy floor, as the pig slides ahead, Cody runs by screaming)

(Cut to Justin and Topher on the other side, and pushing each other)

Topher: "I take it!"

Justin: "No, I take it!"

(Cody walks past them and pushes them with the wheelbarrow and the pig with them, Cody continues to panic)

Cody: "This is my eyes, I can't see anything, someone do something!"

(Suddenly, Dawn grabs his hands)

Dawn: "Listen, calm down, take a deep breath and exhale!" (Cody takes a deep breath and exhales, calming down) "Ok" (Dawn wipes Cody's eyes with her fingers, allowing him to see) "Okay, now you can see me" (Cody stares at Dawn and falls in love)

Confessional

Cody: "I have seen many beautiful girls, but never one as beautiful as her before"

Dawn: "I don't usually fall in love, but maybe Cody could be... different"

End Confessional

(Cut to Mike and Zoey getting up off the ground, now covered in grease)

Zoey: "Mike, what was that all about?"

Mike: "I don't know, I was just from one moment to another, I don't know what's happening to me lately"

Confessional

Zoey: "Maybe Mike is in trouble, possibly something evil is controlling him from within? ...Nah, that's ridiculous."

End Confessional

(We now cut to Justin and Topher facing the wall next to the pig with them, but instead of climbing they were playing rock paper scissors)

Topher: "Okay, it's already two rounds, three rounds and whoever wins will climb the wall"

Justin: "Don't think you'll win, I never lose at this"

LeShawna: (walking towards them with Sky, annoyed) "Just one of you take the damn pig and scale the wall!"

Justin: "We can't, I have to make sure I'm the one who leads"

Topher: "Oh yeah? I have more leadership skills than you."

Justin: "Okay, prove it."

Dawn: (offscreen) "I don't think that's necessary."

(The four look at Dawn, standing on top of the wall with the pig, she then jumps to the other side and lands on her feet, and the pig lands on her perfectly balanced head.)

Chris: (over PA) "This is final, the Hotties defeated by a Naturist, the Newbies Birdies win!"

(Newbies cheer with joy)

Chris: "The Newbies win the hotel-spa again, but before the Veterans Falcons vote for elimination, I need a Birdie to volunteer."

?: "I will do it!"

(Everyone turns to look, and they see Scott raising Sam's hand, who was asleep, Scott realizes and nervously walks away, and Sam falls to the ground, when he wakes up, and suddenly he feels contact with his hands)

Sam: "Hey, I can feel my hands again!"

Chris: "Sam, you've earned a free trip to Boney Island!"

Sam: "This one's for me, guys, I'll make up for my lack of help today-" (suddenly a metal claw grabs him by the head, and the helicopter takes him to Boney Island)

(The Newbies are seen walking towards the hotel-spa, while the Veterans look on in disappointment)

(Cut now to the elimination ceremony, where again all the Newbies except Sam were in the Peanut Gallery, and the Veterans on the stumps, Chris and Chef were present)

Chris: "Well, that was another fiasco for the Veterans, and most of you already know how this works, one of you won't get a marshmallow and you'll be kicked out, the next players are safe..." (Chef throws marshmallows at the that they're safe) "Cody, Harold, Shawn, Sky and LeShawna; that leaves Justin and Topher in danger, both for the same reasons" (both glare at each other) "And today's eliminated person is... " (they both continue glaring at each other until Chris announces that...) "Both of you!"

Topher/Justin: (in shock) "WHAT?!"

Chris: "Yep, it was a draw between the two of you, and since we are more than we should, it is a double-elimination round for you, you are both eliminated"

Topher: "But HE is to blame!"

Justin: "No, HE'S to blame!"

Chris: "Both are to blame, and not to drag this out any longer" (snaps fingers) "Chef!"

(Chef approaches both boys and grabs them as he leads them to the Flush of Shame, meanwhile, Lightning approaches Sky with something hidden under his back)

Lightning: "Hi again!" (Sky crosses her arms as she refuses to look at him) "Hey, um, I know you're still upset about what I did, but I already apologized to Sam and the rest of the team, so I came to apologize to you yesterday" (takes out a bouquet of roses) "Here, it's a present for you!" (Sky looks at him for a moment before taking the bouquet of roses, but when she smells it, she sneezes) "Oh no, are you sha-allergic?!"

Sky: "No, don't worry, I'm fine" (sneezes again)

Confessional

Sky: (with a swollen and red nose, and speaking with a cold) "I didn't mean to be rude or anything, but maybe he's someone who deserves a second chance" (sneezes loudly)

End Confessional

(We now cut to the Flush of Shame, where Topher and Justin were fighting together)

Justin: "It's all your fault, I would have won if you hadn't messed with me!"

Topher: "No, it's your fault, now I'm stuck with you in this-" (Chris presses the button and they are both flushed, as they yell)

Chris: "Now, we've got rid of a selfish hunk for the price of two, what more could you ask for? Find out next time on Total! Drama! Madness!"

(End Credits)

Bonus Clip:

(The screen fades into a public restroom stall, where noises can be heard from within it, and Topher and Justin exit with their heads.)

Topher: "Ugh, my hair!" (Glares at Justin) "Thank you for all this"

Justin: "Save your complaints for later" (looks around) "Where are we by the way?"

(Suddenly someone opens the door and they both look in shock as a female scream is heard)

Topher: (gulps) "Uh oh..."

(The scene cuts outside the restrooms, where you can see the door that had a symbol of a female figure, referring to the girls' restroom, while inside more girls can be heard screaming, and others slapping and hitting Justin and Topher, as they groan in pain, the scene then darkens)

Votes:

Justin: Topher, Cody, Harold

Topher: Justin, Sky, LeShawna

LeShawna: Cody

25th-Anne Maria

24th-Staci

23th-Izzy

22th-B

21/20th-Sugar

21/20th-Ella

19th-Lindsay

18th-Brick

17th-Ezekiel

16/15th-Justin

16/15th-Topher

Welcome to 2023, new year, new stories and updates, I wrote this episode myself, to post it on the first day of the year, I hope you had a good 2022, but that's history, the future is today, did you hear me, babe?

This time we are going with one of Pahkithew's challenges, which I forgot to give the clue last time, I had to do

improvisations to add more fun to the matter, but the Veterans lost again, and this time it's a double prize again, Topher and Justin

Topher didn't have a plot, just like Justin, I almost didn't give him a leading role in the previous episodes, I'm sorry for that, the only plot they had was this, just to give you a justification to eliminate them, sorry fans of these two

The less contestants there are, each of them will have more prominence, the next episode is the Aftermath break, and I will do the same dynamic as the previous time, in your review, you can ask a question for the following eliminated players: Sugar, Ella, Lindsay, Brick, Ezekiel , Justin and Topher

See you soon, happy start to the year!