Previously: The Doctor has sent Rose and Ash away from the space station in the Tardis to keep them safe from the Daleks.
— Chapter 5 —
The Powell Estates
"This is Emergency Programme One. Rose, Ash, now listen, this is important. If this message is activated, then it can only mean one thing. We must be in danger. And I mean fatal. I'm dead or about to die any second with no chance of escape." The Doctor says, or at least a hologram of him does. I climb down from the balcony to see him better.
"No!" Rose cries.
"And that's okay. Hope it's a good death. But I promised to look after you, and that's what I'm doing. The Tardis is taking you home."
"I won't let you." Rose says.
"And I bet you're fussing and moaning now. Typical. But hold on and just listen a bit more. The Tardis can never return for me. Emergency Programme One means I'm facing an enemy that should never get their hands on this machine."
"Rose, just forget about the Tardis and go back to Jackie. I'm sure she'll be happy to see you, and glad to be rid of me! And if you want to remember me, then you can do one thing. That's all, one thing. Have a good life. Do that for me, Rose. Have a fantastic life."
"Ash, the Tardis is yours now. She can manufacture more of that serum I gave you and I know the two of you can come up with a longer term solution. Just stay in the Tardis. Please Ash, don't leave the Tardis. There are people who would burn a Galaxy to get their hands on you. She can keep you safe."
"What? I don't understand." I say, like I can actually talk to a prerecorded hologram.
"I know you don't understand right now, but the Old Girl will let you access all the information I've gathered now. It's going to be hard, but if anyone's going to figure it out, it'll be you, my fantastic little pickpocket. Goodbye."
"Doctor…" I whisper, reaching a hand towards the fading image before running to my room in tears.
—
I'm curled up in my loft, hugging Stan, trying to pretend none of this is happening when I just somehow know that something is wrong in the console room. I run in to find Rose standing by the console, a taut chain attached to the panel that opened when Margaret was on board.
"Faster!" Rose calls out.
I can hear a car revving just outside the Tardis. She's trying to open up the console and it's hurting the Tardis. How do I know that? I can almost feel that the Tardis is in pain. I know she is alive, can we actually communicate?
"It's not moving!" Rose says, just before the chain breaks. She kicks the console before turning to me, "You! This is all your fault."
"What?"
"He only sent us back because he can't let the Daleks get their hands on you."
I look down and whisper, "Ha, I'd bet I was the afterthought. He only really cares about you."
"Rose, I can figure this out. I just need time. I can find a way to get us back."
"Yeah, but you don't have time do you"
"What do you mean?"
"Like you don't know. You're dying. How much longer do you think you can go on? Besides, I have to go save him now. He's dying now!"
"What!?" I… why wouldn't he have told me? I have been feeling more and more sick since I ran away, but dying?
"No I'm not and neither is he! We have as long as we need. We can figure out how to hotwire the Tardis and go back and save him even if it takes years. We can!"
"You don't understand Ash. You're just a kid. I've got to do this." She counters, eyes flicking dismissively over to Stan. Right, forgot I was still carrying him.
"Just don't hurt her anymore. Please" I beg, hugging Stan. Rose walks over to me and shoves me back against the console, "Don't even think about trying to get in my way. You have no idea how furious the Doctor was when he realized you'd been in my head, made me want to take you back to Cardiff. You might not want to be here when I bring him back." She practically snarls before leaving the Tardis to go talk to Mickey. She's probably right.
—
Still at the console, I try to focus on the Tardis. "I'm sorry." I tell the Tardis. "I don't know what to do. She's going to tear you open." I think I can feel her pushing at me. She believes this is inevitable. It has to happen. It makes her sad, but it has to happen. It's such a strange way to communicate. I just know, I guess, what she wants me to know, and I know it's not coming from me, but from her, but it's so different, so weird.
I walk out of the Tardis, intending to try to talk Rose out of this when I see a big tow truck pull up. "Right, you've only got this until six o'clock, so get on with it." The driver says, climbing down.
Rose, looking flabbergasted, says, "Mum, where the hell did you get that from?" Okay, that's Rose's mom. They do look a little similar.
"Rodrigo. He owes me a favour. Never mind why, but you were right about your dad, sweetheart. He was full of mad ideas, and it's exactly what he would've done. Now, get on with it before I change my mind." She explains before throwing the keys to Mickey.
"Who are you then?" She asks, turning to me. "Ash."
"She's a kid the Doctor picked up in Cardiff." Explains Rose.
"Well Ash, you can call me Jackie. I'm Rose's mum." Jackie explains walking up to stand next to me. She gives me a little side hug as we watch Rose enter the Tardis with a much larger chain.
I have to do something. I run in and try to take the chain off but Rose grabs my shoulder, spinning me around and shoving me to the ground. Jackie enters the Tardis and crouches down next to me.
"Stay away from her mum. She's a monster."
"Don't be daft Rose, she's just a kid."
"A kid that'll get inside your head and make you do whatever she wants you to. Just stay back, okay?"
"Rose! Please just stop." I stand up and try again to convince her without doing the thing, even though I kind of want to. I just really really want to keep her from hurting the Tardis, even if the Tardis says it has to happen. "There's got to be a better way!"
Rose walks right up to me and slaps me hard enough I stagger. "Stay away from me and my Mum!" Rose yells. Jackie moves to come help me but Rose grabs her hand, "Mum, I said stay away." giving me time to escape.
I haven't even gotten a block away when I feel the Tardis open. This is wrong! I turn down an alley and hide behind a dumpster as I hear the sound of the Tardis dematerializing. What am I supposed to do now? I break down sobbing.
—
It's been a couple of weeks since the Tardis left with Rose. I've been… surviving is probably the best word. Some days are better than others. I stopped constantly listening for the sound of the Tardis materializing after the first week or so. I just hope Rose saved the Doctor and that they're off having adventures and not dead on the space station.
I'm still spending most of my time near the Powell Estates. I even see Jackie once in a while. Sometimes I wish I could go to her, but she probably thinks I'm a monster like Rose does. She's not wrong. I've been practicing my 'talents' when I can. Makes it easier to get the stuff I need.
I've got 22 quid on me right now, but I'm saving up for a winter jacket, so dinner's going to be whatever I can steal from the Tesco Express. Lucky for me, I've figured out how to intentionally distort time around my hands. I grab a can of beans on the way by, a small jar of Nutella, a sleeve of biscuits, and a Twill bar, filling my pockets without anyone noticing. Another reason to get a big winter coat - easier to hide stuff in.
I take a pack of wine gums to the register, pay, and make a clean getaway. Need to remember to get some wet-wipes next time. I take it all back to my place, which isn't much. I found a window into an unused basement and made it look boarded up, but there's no power or light or anything besides a little torch I've got.
The can of beans ends up on a shelf near the others. I keep thinking I should eat something other than sweets or chips or crisps, but… maybe tomorrow.
Shoes and coat off, I snuggle into my pile of blankets and tuck into my Nutella and biscuits. Going to need to head into London proper tomorrow so I'll be able to pickpocket enough to buy a new coat. Sometimes I wonder why I don't just pick up and move there, but I guess I haven't lost all hope of the Doctor returning.
—
Over a month now since the Tardis left, and I'm starting to wonder if Rose was right. I'm so tired all the time. Pickpocketing, shoplifting, making people look the other way when I need to slip by, all make me really nauseous. Sometimes I feel so bad I don't leave my little nest for days. The headaches are the worst, any noise or light or motion is just agony.
—
I got sloppy and some people noticed my little hideout. I had to run and lost everything. At least I've still got my coat.
—
Two and a half months since the Tardis left. I've lost a lot of weight and the headache is constant now. I don't even bother trying to steal things anymore. I just show up at the back of a restaurant and compel whoever comes out to bring me food, before scurrying off to my latest hideaway.
I need to venture out for some other supplies though and take the time to make myself look presentable enough. I head over to a shop plaza and steal some wet wipes, underware, socks, shirts, that kind of stuff, stuffing it all into a bag.
I've given up being subtle. I just make everyone around me not notice me. It takes a lot of concentration, but I get things done way more quickly so it balances out I guess. Now I just need to stumble back 'home' then I can sleep for days.
God this place stinks. I'm cutting through an alley behind some restaurants and the bins haven't been emptied in a while. Gross.
"Hey kid, whatcha got in the bag?" Fuck. I've been too distracted and three idiots have stepped out of the shadows.
"Nothing interesting."
"Yeah? You look like someone with sticky fingers, bet you got some good stuff in there." Idiot two chimes in.
"Why don't you just drop the bag and we'll let you get out of here." Idiot three says closing the space between us and pulling out a knife.
"Leave." It's the best I can do, and I don't think it worked well enough. The knife wielding idiot is still there, blocking my path. He looks a little confused, but hasn't left. I pick up as much speed as I can and shoulder him out of the way.
"You little shit!" I hear as I run off. At least they don't seem to be chasing me.
After I'm sure I've broken contact, I slow down and try to catch my breath. I've got a stitch in my side that's killing me. God, I'm tired.
Once I get back, I flop onto my blanket pile, shoes and coat still on. I'm not going to move again for days. Could use some food though, so I reach over and grab a bag of crisps. Why do I still have this stitch? And why does my side feel wet?
It hurts to take off my jacket, even more so the shirt and sweater I'm wearing. They're both pretty soaked in blood. Guess he got me. Huh.
It doesn't seem too bad. He got me on my side, over my ribs, about a three inch long cut that's still bleeding some. Starting to hurt like hell too. Gotta clean it up a bit. Wet wipes to the rescue, and a brand new, clean shirt as a bandage. I'll find something to keep the wound closed tomorrow. Too tired right now.
—
It's Christmas Eve and I find myself hanging around outside of the Powell Estate. Something is coming. Something I need to be here for, right here. I know it. Just wish I knew what I was waiting for.
The cut in my side hasn't healed yet and I'm worried it's infected. I've been keeping it closed with little pieces of duct tape, and rinsing it off with rubbing alcohol, ouch!, but it's taking its time.
I'm sitting on a wall, looking out over a playground area. The bad wolf graffiti is all gone. No evidence left of the Doctor or the Tardis, until something in the air catches my eye.
Holy shit! It's the Tardis! She just materialized mid-air and is flying - if you want to call it that - down the street bouncing off cars and buildings and bins before finally skidding to a stop.
She's back! I can't believe it! But what about the Doctor and Rose? They must have survived then right? Have they come back for me? I walk closer to where she landed, being careful to stay hidden.
Jackie and Mickey come running as the door opens and a man stumbles out. Why is he wearing the Doctor's clothes?
"Here we are then, London. Earth. The Solar System. We did it. Jackie. Mickey. Blimey! No, no, no, no, hold on. Wait there. I've got something to say. There was something I had to tell you, something important."
He grabs on to Mickey and Jackie's shoulders before continuing, "What was it? No, hold on, hold on. Hold on, shush, shush, shush, shush. Oh, I know! Merry Christmas!"
And now he's on the ground.
Rose steps out of the Tardis, "What happened? Is he all right?"
"I don't know, he just keeled over. But who is he? Where's the Doctor?" Mickey asks. Good question!
"That's him, right in front of you. That's the Doctor." Rose answers.
"What do you mean, that's the Doctor? Doctor who?" Jackie says, as confused as I am.
"Let's just get him inside, yeah." Rose says motioning for Mickey to help her carry him.
Rose is still wearing the same outfit as the day she left. And the not-doctor is wearing the same jumper. How long have they actually been gone? Has it even been a day for them?
The not-doctor was so excited to say Merry Christmas. He intentionally came back months later? Did he forget about me? Rose said the not-doctor was the Doctor. But maybe more than his body changed. Maybe he doesn't remember me. Maybe he does, but Rose was right and doesn't want me back.
I watch as they walk away, carrying the not-doctor to Jackie's flat. Once they're gone, I walk up to the Tardis. I can feel her again. This time it's concern, I think. She must be worried about the Doctor.
I very slowly climb a few flights up the building opposite to Jackie's and take a seat on the stairs where I can see her door. Every once in a while I catch an odd smell. It's familiar, but I can't place it.
I watch Mickey and Rose leave the flat as I eat a Cadbury. Then some strange looking santas walk down the breezeway carrying a Christmas tree and leave it at Jackie's doorstep. Something's not right about them. They don't look alive. Robots?
Jackie opens the door and brings the tree inside, looking pleasantly surprised. But the santas don't go very far. I can see them watching the flat from the street. What are they doing?
I need to get closer, over to her building. Ugh… too many stairs. I find a perch about a half flight up from Jackie's and settle in. Mickey and Rose come back as I'm eating some wine gums.
What's all that noise? It sounds like there's a tornado inside the flat. Should I go see if they're ok? Or not. The noises end and the not-doctor walks out of the flat tying on a dressing gown. His expression is so… serious. Not like anything I ever saw on the Doctor. Mickey, Rose and Jackie follow close behind.
"That's them. What are they?" Mickey asks.
Not-doctor points his sonic at them like it's some kind of weapon and they back off then disappear. He's so different. Not even one sassy comment. Just serious and intense and scary.
Mickey laughs, "They've just gone. What kind of rubbish were they? I mean, no offense, but they're not much cop if a sonic screwdriver's going to scare them off."
"Pilot fish." not-doctor explains.
Rose, confused, asks, "What?"
"They were just pilot fish." not-doctor says, failing to actually explain, at least that hasn't changed.
I'm busy wondering what could be coming next, if those guys were just pilot fish, when the not-doctor doubles over in pain.
Rose, concerned, asks, "What's wrong?"
"You woke me up too soon. I'm still regenerating. I'm bursting with energy." The not-doctor replies, exhaling some kind of golden energy. It smells like what I smelled before.
"You see?" not-doctor continues, "The pilot fish could smell it a million miles away. So they eliminate the defense, that's you lot, and they carry me off. They could run their batteries on me for a couple of owwww!"
"Oh, oh, oh." Jackie cries, wringing her hands.
"My head! I'm having a neuron implosion. I need…"
"What do you need?" Jackie interrupts.
"I need…"
"Say it. Tell me, tell me, tell me." She interrupts again.
"I need…"
"Painkillers?"
"I need…"
"Do you need aspirin?"
"I need…"
"Codeine? Paracetamol? Oh, I don't know, Pepto-Bismol?"
"I need…"
"Liquid paraffin. Vitamin C? Vitamin D? Vitamin E?"
"I need…"
"Is it food? Something simple. Bowl of soup. A nice bowl of soup? Soup and a sandwich? Soup and a little ham sandwich?"
"I need you to shut up."
"Oh, he hasn't changed that much, has he?"
"Ahh." the Doctor cries, lurching across the breezeway and falling into the opposite wall.
I freeze. He can see me.
"Ash!? What are you doing here? Go!" The Doctor says looking at me like I horrify him before clutching his head.
I run.
—
I've moved up to the roof. Slowly moved up to the roof. Just sitting on the edge, feet dangling, wondering how my life became… this. Not-doctor can't even stand to see me. The stupid cut is infected. Pretty sure I'm running a fever. The clouds are interesting though.
For some reason I really want to stand, but I don't know why. It's like something is trying to force me, something really strong. I try to stay focused on staying down. Meanwhile, people are starting to join me on the roof. They look hypnotized. Some normal looking people are trying to stop them, unsuccessfully.
What if the next step is a command to jump? All these people jumping!. A surge of adrenaline from that thought and I finally manage to throw myself backwards and crawl back from the edge, breaking the spell. That was … wrong. Is that what others feel when I control them? I didn't know… didn't mean it… How… I have to get off this roof.
I'm climbing down the stairs, carefully, when a massive shock wave knocks me over. Looking up, I see a huge rocky looking ship has entered the atmosphere and is hovering over London. The santas? No wait, the not-doctor said the santas were pilot fish, these must be the sharks.
Great. Aliens are about to kill hundreds and hundreds of people, and those are just the ones I can see, and all I can do is watch. Might as well take a little nap since there's nothing I can do. But when I lean my head against the railing, I see Mickey and Rose carrying the not-doctor towards the Tardis. Jackie is behind them, struggling with half a dozen bags.
Then the Tardis just disappears. She didn't dematerialize. She's just gone. Did the aliens beamed them up? Maybe not-doctor will wake up and save everyone. That'd be nice.
People are starting to leave the roofs and come back down the stairs. I guess not-doctor got that sorted. It's not over yet though, the ship is still just hanging there in the sky. I need to get out of here though. Too many people around.
Finally down the stairs, I wander over to a low wall and sit down, leaning back against it, watching the ship. It's really odd looking, totally not aerodynamic, textbook not aerodynamic. And how is it just hovering there?
It's not hovering anymore. They're leaving! Yes! I guess the not-doctor succeeded.
What the hell! I curl into a ball and cover my ears as five huge energy beams converge on the ship. Everything's exploding, too loud, screams and weapons firing and Daleks! Hide. I scoot backwards and get around the wall and into an alley, behind some bins, curled up as small as I can get. "EXTERMINATE!", "EXTERMINATE!", "EXTERMINATE!" They're everywhere.
I can't breathe. No air. They're going to find me. Kill everyone. I can't… can't…
—
"Ash!"
"No… no…"
"Ash, Ash, you're safe. I've got you." Someone says. They're touching my shoulder and I try to cower away, but they grab me and pick me up. I try to struggle but I'm too weak. "Ash, it's me. It's the Doctor. I'm going to take you to the Tardis and get you all fixed up. Just hang on a little longer."
"Not-doctor."
"New face, but still the Doctor."
"Hmmm, not-doctor, Doctor."
—
I guess it is the Doctor. No one else would be carrying me into the Tardis. "Hey girl. Nice to see you again." I say.
He laughs, "She's happy to see you too."
This bed isn't very comfortable.
"Ash. I need you to sit up and help me get these clothes off." Sounds like a good idea. I think I stink. But it could wait until I've had a nap.
"Sleep."
"Nope. not yet." He says, holding me in a sitting position and pulling off my shirt. I guess he already got my jacket off. "Oh, Ash, what happened?" He asks, waving his sonic over the cut.
He helps me lay back down and gets my shoes and pants off.
"Cold." I say and a blanket magically appears. Nice.
"Did you stop the Daleks?"
"Yep. Rose brought the Tardis back to the Game Station and we stopped them."
"No. The Daleks that were here."
"Ash, there were no Daleks here. It was the Sycorax."
"No. There were. I could hear them. They were shooting and… and kept saying exterminate…"
"You must have been dreaming. No Daleks here."
"I wasn't. They were here… ouch."
"Sorry, just a little prick, I needed to start an IV."
"Oh. Where's the Doctor?"
"I'm right here."
"The other Doctor."
"When Rose opened the Tardis she absorbed the time vortex and was able to bring the Tardis back to the Game Station. She destroyed all the Daleks, but the vortex inside of her was killing her. I pulled the vortex out of Rose and sent it back to Tardis to save her. But transferring the vortex like that, it was too much for my body to handle. I was dying." He says, sitting on the bed next to me and stroking my hair. It feels nice. Relaxing.
"Time Lords though, we have this trick and well, here I am, same Doctor, different body. I'm still me. I remember everything we ever did together. My personality usually changes some, I'm still not quite done with that bit. It'll take me a while to settle in. But it really is me." He finishes before getting back up.
"Mmmmm." I whine. I wish he'd stop messing around with the cut. Hurts.
"I'll be done soon, just try to keep still."
"There. Just keep that bandage on for the next 20 hours and it'll be all better."
—
"Why are you still in those pajamas?" I ask the Doctor. He's sitting on a stool, with his back to me, messing around with stuff on a table. I move around a bit under the covers, and huh, I'm wearing pajamas too. "You dressed me."
"Haven't had time to change and yes." he answers, turning around to face me. "How are you feeling?"
"Tired, sore… hungry."
"Brilliant. I've got just the thing." He says, peeling a banana and handing it to me. It's hard to sit up, but worth it for some food. "Oh, and I brought you something." He says, handing me Stan. I grab him and crush him to my chest with the hand not holding the banana. Not going to cry. Nope. Focus on the banana.
"What are you doing?" I ask between bites. He's adding something to the IV.
"Just adding some nutrients, hormone stabilization compounds, and antibiotics."
"Oh. Where's the toilet? I've gotta pee."
"Ah. Let me help." He helps me get up and move the IV stand into the bathroom.
"I got this now. Bye." I say, waving him away.
—
"You really need to put on some actual clothes. I'm going to start calling you Arthur Dent." I wonder how much time has passed. He's still sitting on that stool and messing around with stuff.
"As soon as you're feeling better. Don't want to leave you alone just yet."
"What are you doing?"
"Analyzing your DNA." He says before sighing and continuing, "You're not human, and I'm trying to figure out what you are. Well, not entirely human, there's definitely some human DNA in there. Galifrean too. And something else."
"What's Galifrean?"
"A very old species from a long way away." He pauses and comes to sit next to me on the bed. "It's why you're sick. The DNAs are sort of competing. It's the Galifrean that gives you your talents, mostly, but your brain is too human, at least physically and can't handle the strain."
"Oh."
—
"You came back for me."
"I always will." He says. He's sitting next to the bed reading. Must have moved a chair in.
"But…" wait, shouldn't say anything. Maybe he forgot.
"But what Ash?"
"Nothing."
"No, that wasn't nothing. What is it?" he asks, frowning.
I roll on to my side so I don't have to see him, cuddling Stan. Huh, I've still got the IV, but it's not attached to anything anymore. He gets up, sits on the bed and puts a hand on my shoulder.
"Did you think I wouldn't?"
I shrug and curl up into a smaller ball.
"You were angry."
"Why would I be angry with you? And even if I was, that would never stop me from coming for you."
"Other you was."
"No I wasn't. Other me IS me, Ash. Where is this coming from?"
"I… Rose… I didn't really mean to… " I can't help it. I'm crying. He's going to hate me when he remembers.
The Doctor comes around to the other side of the bed and wipes the hair from my forehead, his fingers lingering on my temple. "I don't understand. What happened?"
"I just wanted to go home. I didn't mean to." I say, trying to rub the tears from my eyes. It doesn't help though, I just start crying harder.
"That? Oh Ash, I'm not mad. You barely knew what you were doing. It's my fault. If I'd figured out what you needed and given you that shot earlier, none of it would have happened."
"But she said…"
"It doesn't matter what Rose said. I wasn't angry then and I'm not now." He says rubbing circles on my back. Then he stands up. Is he leaving? I don't want to be alone. Oh, he's just moving the chair to this side of the bed. Good.
He sits down and with a hand soothingly rubbing my head, starts to sing in a language I don't recognize.
I really can't stop crying now. Everything is just too much.