Intifada
The path northward through the occupied lands of the Earth Kingdom was perilous. Danger lurked behind every blade of grass, and not merely from the armies of the Fire Lord. Azula journeyed north like a common rogue, roughing it in unfriendly country, away from warm hearths, with only her ambition to warm her on the cold nights.
The dawn broke over the woody hills of the Shuǐshān Province. Azula watched the sun rise from the canopy of a tall cedar, crouched on a stout branch. The broad valley was teeming with evergreen trees. At the foothills on the far side of the valley, a gray haze hung low over the trees. It must have been the town of Gaipan itself, the smoke of many hearths pressed down by the cool morning air.
The weather was getting colder with each day further north. It was almost winter here now, and Azula wriggled her toes, thankful for the silk tabi to keep the chill away. Azula gave a few hand signs to Sokka waiting at the bottom of the tree. Glancing down, she saw him give the "received and understood" sign.
Now that they were back in Fire Nation occupied territory, they'd taken to flying at night, sleeping in shifts, and cooking with smokeless pit fires during the day. These were the fundamentals of camouflage discipline that Iroh had taught her on their one campaign together. Now she was using it against her country. What must the old man think? She wondered. She almost missed him and his lame attempts to be a good uncle. But that life was behind her now.
Azula started counting the other smoke trails rising up in the forest. Campfires were dotting the valley. Pulling some paper and a charcoal pencil from her pocket, she sketched out a map of the valley, taking the broad terrain features from her memory of their travel maps, and began to fill in the approximate locations of other points of interest.
The shimmering blue waters of the reservoir were particularly noteworthy. Their map must have been quite old, because it made no reference to the reservoir or the large dam that held the waters upstream of the town.
But they had more pressing concerns. The camps in the forest were nestled near what looked like streambeds. They might be Fire Nation military outposts, or they might be civilian labor battalions engaged in logging, stone quarrying, or any of a number of other vital pillars of the war economy.
Chewing on her pencil, Azula started to feel the knot she was perched on digging into the ball of her foot. These sandals were starting to wear thin. Pocketing the map, she bounded down the tree. Sokka caught her last jump down; his hushed attempt at explaining his 'big brother instincts' earned him a glare and a slap on the cheek.
They made the short trek back to their campsite, tucked away behind a fallen redwood. Katara had just finished bedding Ikki down after feeding her, while Suki groggily made flat bread on a hot griddle over the fire. Sokka looked forlornly at the little roti cakes puffing up on the hot iron. They'd avoided attention thus far with Azula's methods, but they would run up on the limits of endurance soon.
Azula laid a gentle hand on Suki's shoulder. "Here, let me take over, you should get some rest," she said.
"I'm fine Azula, really."
When Azula insisted, Suki finally relented, and Azula muddled through the rest of the cooking process. Most of them turned out alright. The one that ended up most burned Azula tore into, sharing half of it with Sokka.
"Ya know, it's not half bad," he mused, "the charring adds some much needed flavor."
"Everyone's a critic," Azula said, and let out a sigh. It's not like there was anything wrong with Suki's recipe. It just reminded Azula of home, and how she never thought she'd miss something as banal as the naan baked in the palace kitchens. It wasn't the things she loved that she couldn't have, like a nice plate of sweet and spicy komodo chicken, that were making her homesick. It was all the foods that just weren't quite the same as home.
While Suki napped, Azula went over the layout of the valley with the Water Tribe siblings. After pointing out the danger points in the forest, she moved onto water sources and possible hunting grounds. She concluded by saying, "The way I see it, we gather what we can away from these campsites then continue on at dusk."
"We've been at this for over a week, Azula," Sokka whined. "Between working during the day and flying at night, we're all exhausted. We're going to need to rest eventually. This forest is the best cover we've found for a while. Right Katara?"
"I think Sokka is right, Azula. You saw the state we're all in. The more we push ourselves, the more likely we are to make a real mistake." The heavy bags under Katara's eyes underscored her exhaustion.
Every fiber of Azula's being told her to keep pressing on. But she also had to admit, Katara was right. She'd been hiding it better than her companions, but anytime her thoughts turned away from the mission, sleep was waiting to mug her. Azula looked at her reflection in her tea cup, and saw the weary lines under her eyes and wind-whipped hair. She bolted the rest of the cup.
"Alright," Azula whispered, "we can stay one more day."
Katara hugged her at the news. Azula might have even endured the sudden, uninvited touch had Sokka not joined in too. After squirming out of their grasp, Azula smothered the campfire with dirt. Too wound up to go to sleep, she took a spear and announced she was going for a quick reconnoiter and might bring back some game if she could find some. By the time she'd finished honing the blade on a whetstone, Sokka was already curled up next to Suki, snoring away. Katara promised to keep an eye on the camp while she was gone.
So Azula set out through the underbrush, tracing along game trails bent low, moving quietly. There weren't many forests left like this in the Fire Nation. They'd all been cult down to make way for farmland and industry. The forests that did remain were pale imitations of this old growth splendor; fast growing pines planted in neat little rows for later harvesting.
This forest was old and untamed. Some of the great redwoods might have been even older than recorded history, thirty feet across at the base. Myriad smaller trees, bushes, shrubs and ferns lived sheltered under their canopies, covered in rust colored mosses. Winter would be here soon, and Azula hoped she could see it again in full bloom.
She'd made it about a mile from camp before she started to notice that the forest was eerily quiet. She'd made it this far without encountering much of anything. No birds, no squirrels, nothing. Something had disturbed the forest into silence. It had not been this quiet earlier, during her first reconnoiter.
I'm being hunted, thought Azula. Her ears twitched with the rush, snapping to instant, perfect alertness. One step forward at a time, she kept her eyes focused forward, seemingly oblivious. It was always a bad day to stalk Azula, but this miscreant had picked a particularly bad day. The air was still. Even the slightest rustle in the underbrush or drawing breath too deep and she would have them.
Azula felt the murderous intent an instant before the attack, like a shiver running down her spine. She planted herself on the hard ground, and with a stamp pulled a curtain of earth up behind her. The sound of straining wood and sinew followed, then an arrow buried into the stone. Behind and to my left.
The assailant was already nocking a second arrow when Azula leapt over the wall, arm sprung to launch the spear at him. He wore a conical straw hat that partially concealed his face, and drab clothing that blended into the environment. He loosed the arrow, and ducked under the spear just too late. The spear pinned his cape to the tree, point buried to the haft in the bark.
Azula had to somersault to dodge his second arrow, landing catlike in the clearing. As she landed, she drew the machete from its scabbard and launched towards the archer, intending to finish him before he could free himself. But a second man pounced at her, swiping a pair of singing blades at her. Azula parried, drawing a pace back to unbalance him. The hooked end of his sword scraped along her blade.
Now a pace apart, the man scowled at Azula under curtains of shaggy brown hair. "Jingri scum!" he shouted, "Just die!" He was taller than Azula's 5'9", that much was certain even watching him hunkered in his fighting stance. He was also wiry and lean, and evidently quite adept at surviving as a partisan in Fire Nation occupied territory.
Azula gave him no chance to consolidate and counterattacked immediately, interspersing strikes with her machete with low kicks and earth pillars to unbalance him. Defeating both of them without her Firebending would be a challenge, but outing herself as a Firebender would only make her situation worse. So as their blades clashed, Azula kept pivoting the battle so that the swordsman's body would be between her and the archer. The spear would not keep him pinned forever.
The sudden intrusion of a giant bear of a man wielding a great wooden club with surprising speed was most unwelcome. As Azula jinked out of the path of the giant's club, the swordsman redoubled his effort and almost succeeded in hooking Azula by the collar. "Good job, Pipsqueak," he said.
"I'm not short, you moron," Azula said, rolling out of the way of another thunder blow from the club.
"Wasn't talking to you, gold-eyed devil."
"I'm going to enjoy gutting you, bumpkin," said Azula. "And you! Where's your blue oni?" The next time the giant swung, Azula rolled under it. She punched the ground, sending a pillar of hardened earth up between the giant's legs. The blow staggered him, but did very little to affect his ability to fight.
The swordsman's next attack almost gave Azula an impromptu haircut. Their blades clashed again, and this time he got the hook to rake across her hand in the bind and yanked the machete free. Azula tried to dart in to retrieve it, but the giant had already stamped on it, and nearly brained her with the next swing.
One back hand-spring later, and Azula was back to dodging arrows. Growling with frustration, Azula was now on the back foot, dodging repeated enemy attacks. If I'm to pretend I'm not a Firebender, I'm going to have to get a lot better. After weaving between the swordsman and the giant's attacks, Azula decided enough was enough and that it was time to play the trump card.
Azula dropped low for a leg-sweep kick. A curtain of blue fire followed the arc of her kick, blasting the next arrow away. The two melee fighters jumped back, cringing away from the searing heat. As the curtain parted, the two men took another step back. Azula stood calm, raising two fingers wreathed in dancing fire to head level.
"It can't be," the swordsmen said. "It must be a trick. There must be an Earthbender hiding in the bush. She can't be…"
Azula tapped her food, raising a small platform of earth to step upon. "Do you know me now?" she said, grinning.
"Avatar or not, she's still Fire Nation," the swordsman said. "We cannot fail here, too many people depend on us."
Azula extinguished the flames. "The Fire Nation is my enemy. You'd be wise to make peace with your enemy's enemy."
"Like I'd believe you."
"Bumpkin, you are in no position to be looking a gift-ostrich in the mouth."
The swordsman scowled while the giant squared up. The archer lowered his bow. "Jet, I think she's telling the truth," he said.
The giant relaxed an inch. "Longshot's smart. Maybe we should trust her."
Jet shook his head. "I'm going to need more than trust. She's cold, this one. There's a forked tongue behind that smile."
Azula shrugged. "You are right, of course. I am a gold-eyed devil afterall. I could add colors to the chameleon. I lie when it suits me, and I have no problem with hitting below the belt. But unfortunately you don't have a choice."
Jet dug his heels in. But he didn't attack.
So Azula continued. "I'm guessing there's more than just you three if you've survived this long. But it won't matter, because there's not a man among you that could stand against me in combat. But if you want proof of my intentions, you can go into any village within 300 leagues and you'll find a wanted poster with my face and my name."
"And that would be," Jet said, clearly at his limit with her theatrics.
"Why I'm your new best friend, Jet. My name is Azula, Traitor-Princess of the Fire Nation."
Katara was just about to lie down for her own nap when Azula returned to camp. She'd left alone about an hour and a half ago. She came marching back in with three new people, each one taller than the last. The grin on the princess's face was like a cat leaving a dead bird on her "owner's" porch. Frowning, Katara said, "I see you've made new friends."
"I did!" Azula said, pleased as punch. "The scowling one is called Jet. He's the leader of a band of partisans fighting against the Fire Nation in this province. The quiet one is Longshot. And the big guy is named Pipsqueak."
Pipsqueak waved, saying hello in a rich baritone voice. Longshot said nothing. Jet, who was definitely more smirking than scowling, smiled at Katara.
"That's Katara, anointed warrior in the Wolf-Lodge of the Southern Water Tribe. That sleeping lumox is her brother Sokka. And the other is Suki, captain of the Kyoshi Warriors."
Jet stepped forward and extended his hand. "Quite an ensemble," he said.
When Katara took his hand to shake, Jet stooped and kissed the back of her hand. Flustered, Katara battered her eyes and said, "Oh stop." It was corny, sure, but it was nice to be seen as a woman by someone. And Jet wasn't hard on the eyes either.
Azula was much more excitable, practically buzzing with energy. Katara hadn't seen her like this since her brief fight with Suki and Jeong Jeong, when she'd come alive like a prairie fire. If any other girl acted like that Katara would have assumed she was smitten. But right now Azula was almost comically oblivious to Jet's flirtations.
Suki, who'd woken up refreshed from her catnap twenty minutes ago, cast a nervous glance at Azula. "Do they know?"
"That I'm Fire Nation royalty or that I'm the Avatar?" said Azula, "Yes on both counts. It's how I got myself out of the jam I got myself in.
Jet relaxed and availed himself of the tea that Katara had offered. "I admit, I was skeptical that she actually had any friends. But seeing that she's traveling with two warriors of the Water Tribe and a Kyoshi Warrior has put my mind at ease."
"You didn't think it was weird that a Fire Nation girl was Earthbending and wearing the blue attire of the Water Tribe?" Azula retorted, more amused than anything. "Damn, you really did think I was the daughter of a warbride."
"There are a lot of women who shack up with a Fire Nation soldier to save their own skin."
Azula pierced him with a deadly glare. "What makes you think they had any choice in the matter?" Azula's mirth evaporated like the morning dew.
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize–"
"Don't worry about me. Show some charity to the women of your own country, Jet." Azula plucked her spear out of the stump and skipped away. Katara's heart turned into a pit. She'd suspected something had happened to her, but Azula wasn't willing to talk about it.
"Fuck, I never thought of it that way," Jet confessed.
Katara lingered a moment. "It's because you're a man," Katara said without malice, "I don't hold it against you. We don't have a culture of silence and shame in the South, but in other places they do. For what it's worth, I think she's right about being more charitable to the women of your tribe. I'll go make sure she's okay. Suki, could you get Ikki saddled up and ready to go while I'm out. And wake the bozo while you're at it."
"Already on it," Suki said, giving Sokka a playful kick in the ribs.
Katara hopped over the fallen redwood bordering their camp and followed after Azula. She found Azula about a hundred yards away from the camp, crouched on a stump overlooking a dry creek.
"I know I screwed up," Azula said, "I'll try to be nicer with our new allies, I shouldn't let his ignorance get to me."
"I didn't come here to scold you, Azula. I came here to comfort you."
Azula turned to Katara. For an instant, she seemed to be on the urge of tears before her placid demeanor returned. Katara sat down next to her, draping an arm around the princess. After a tense moment, Azula rolled onto her butt and let herself be hugged.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Katara asked.
"No."
"That's alright. We can just enjoy each other's company."
Azula did just that. After a minute, she even started hugging back. When they separated, Azula started explaining herself anyway. "It's stupid that I'm so damaged. They didn't even get that far. But every time I think about it I get so angry."
"You're not damaged, Azula. No one thinks any less of you for it."
"I do." Azula had said it so carelessly, it shocked her. She looked back at Katara, lips pursed, struggling to explain herself.
Katara hugged her again, tight enough to squeeze some of the air out of her. "You're still here. You were as strong as you needed to be. It doesn't mean you were weak or you failed."
Azula went limp in Katara's arms. When Katara pulled back, and saw the dazzled look in Azula's eyes, she held Azula by the cheeks and nuzzled forehead to forehead. That deeply buried doubt in her heart had come to the surface, but like an ember Azula drew strength from Katara's breath. Her hands came to Katara's, and soon Azula's fire was stoked back to life. Something unspoken lingered on Azula's trembling lips. Katara thought she knew what it was, the rest of the story she could only guess at, the shame Azula could not share yet needed to share.
If only she had been right.
Jet's rebels had survived this long in part by making the trees their homes. Up in the canopy, they'd made a small village amidst a stand of mighty sequoia, on platforms ringing their great trunks or perched in forks in the trees, connected by rope bridges. After her time at the Southern Air Temple, Azula found the height only mildly vertigo inducing. When they'd arrived on Ikki, swarms of youths came to greet the sky bison with wide-eyed wonder. The youngest among them were barely into double digit ages. But they were all fighters.
Jet was clearly the leader of the whole band. There were some elderly in the village who everyone called grandmother or grandfather, but there weren't any fighting age adults other than Jet and a handful of his most trusted confidants, and Jet himself was barely eighteen.
As the initial buzz died down, and Azula was left alone for a moment in the agora, it suddenly struck Azula that she too was still a child, still two years from majority. But like them she'd been abandoned, another orphan given over to the hands of war. It had all become so dreadfully normal.
Jet returned to inform her that a feast was being made in her honor. Avatar, a word now synonymous with hope. She barely knew how to Earthbend, her Waterbending practice was frustratingly slow, and the art of Airbending may have been lost forever. Azula gave her perfunctory thanks before moving onto what she really needed.
Azula leaned back against the tree, eyes fluttering from exhaustion. "I do not wish to seem an ungracious guest, Jet," she said, dialing up the royal charm, "but I'm afraid I won't be the life of the party unless I get some rest. I've not slept for two days now, so if you could show me to my quarters."
"Oh, of course," he said, chewing on a bit of straw, "I've got a cabin for guests of honor. You won't have to share."
"Katara and I usually share quarters."
"Oh, my mistake. Are you two…?"
Azula blinked, trying to keep her composure. Some part of her wanted to shout "yes", no matter how false it was. Like she'd been on the edge of confessing to Katara moments before. But the practical voice in her always told her that fraternization was a dangerous distraction, and that this needed to be left til this was all over. If they were still both alive. "No, we're not. It's just, she gets lonely and homesick so far from home and I worry about her…"
The lie was immaculate and convincing. Too convincing. Jet had been fairly serious and straightforward with Azula once they'd cleared up their misunderstanding, but now he smiled just a bit too much for Azula's comfort at the knowledge that Katara didn't have any romantic entanglements.
But then Jet was suddenly looming over her, arm propped over her shoulder, body inches from hers. "Smellerbee here will take you to your cabin. Let her know if you need anything. I'll stop by later to check in on you, make sure you're comfortable. Maybe we can share a cup of tea."
Azula cocked an eyebrow. Jet was being strangely friendly now, and the way his eyes studied her body made her think he wanted a friendly rematch for their earlier duel. The smirk on his lips only faltered a bit when she said, "No, thank you. Like I said, I am very tired and would be abysmal company."
"No worries," Jet said, "I'll make sure your friends feel very welcome here, princess."
Smellerbee was an androgynous young woman half-a-head shorter than Azula. She quite gruffly led Azula over the winding rope bridges to the edge of the hidden village. Aside from giving directions, she didn't say anything over the course of their walk.
The cabin was a thatch-roofed little lean-to nestled against the flat-side of the broadest tree Azula had ever seen. Aside from a pallet bed and pot-belly stove it was largely unfurnished. Smellerbee left a washbasin and some candles from her pack, and pointed to how to get to the nearest cistern for water.
As Azula began unpacking, Smellerbee waited in the door. Perplexed, Azula paused and looked back at the girl. "Is there something else?" asked Azula.
"People usually say 'thank you,'" Smellerbee said, crossing her arms.
"Thank you, I suppose."
"You're used to having people to boss around, aren't you."
"Yes."
"Stuck up."
"I spent the first sixteen years of my life as royalty. It's only been weeks since I lost it all. It takes time to learn differently. I will not apologize for that."
"Well, at least you're not false. Suppose I should probably tell you because you didn't seem to pick up on it, but Jet…he's into you."
Azula waited, expecting a punchline to follow. When it didn't come she said, "Well I'm flattered that he has such good taste, but I'm not available. Is this a warning?"
"Oh, nothing of the sort. Unless you're looking for something serious I suppose. And if you don't show any interest he'll move on. But your friend definitely is, so make sure she doesn't get her heart broken."
Azula's heart skipped a beat. "Thank you for the head's up," she strained out. "If you'll excuse me, I'm quite tired."
Smellerbee bid farewell, leaving Azula alone with her thoughts. Stripping down to her underclothes, she tried not to think about Katara in Jet's arms, looking deep into his brown eyes. It wasn't working. She tried next telling herself that it didn't matter, Katara could do what she wanted. Blissfully, Azula was too tired to dwell on it for long, because sleep claimed her as soon as she finished washing and hanging her clothes.
While Jet's fighters weren't living on the plush, they seemed to be thriving pretty well. Katara, Sokka and Suki were treated to a sumptuous spread in their communal mess about an hour after arriving. It was, as Jet put it, something to whet their appetite for the feast to come.
She tore into the roasted venison first, plating it up with deliciously spicy pickled vegetables, boiled taro with a garlic sauce, and some rice. The youngest of the fighters, a boy going by the sobriquet The Duke, explained that many of the foods, especially the spices, came from the Fire Nation supply wagons they raided.
Sokka, who'd been craving meat even more than Katara, managed to quip between mouthfuls, "So some Fire Nation general is eating plain rice and tofu right now? Awesome."
Jet placed a hand on Katara's shoulder before sitting next to her. "The thought does make it all the sweeter."
Katara smiled and nudged her plate towards Jet. When he raised an eyebrow, she said, "One of my tribe's traditions. We share some food from our plate with new friends when we first take a meal with them."
"I like that idea." Jet nodded and plucked a morsel of pickled radish between his chopsticks. "At first I didn't care for a lot of their foods, they were too spicy. But it's been kind of growing on me." With a smile, he offered something from his own plate.
A long strip of meat caught Katara's eye. It had been well seared over charcoal, then drizzled with a rich brown sauce. "What's that?"
"Sneers used to work in one of their barracks kitchens before she escaped. She said it was a kind of freshwater eel from the Fire Islands, and it's dressed with a special soy sauce. You should try it."
"Well don't mind if I do!" The delicate meat practically fell apart between her chopsticks. The sauce was rich and sweeter than she expected. The meat itself was chewy, and reminded her of the raw salmon they'd eat from the summer catches. "It's very good."
Their eyes met, lingering for a moment. In that brief moment, some of his brash demeanor stripped away. She saw warmth and yearning in his brown eyes, and then a flash of hurt. Jet turned away, staring into his cup.
"What's wrong," she asked.
"I'll…I'll tell you later. It's private."
It was well enough; Jet was soon distracted with the needs of leadership. As the meal wound down, Jet tapped a wooden spoon on a kettle. The young men and women…children really…watched with rapt attention as Jet recounted the previous day's exploits, singling out a few of their band for commendation. After pumping the group up he turned towards the more bitter matters of the supply situation, the increasing Fire Nation presence in the valley and disciplinary matters.
He was quite inspiring, and it was not merely showmanship. He'd learned from awful struggle how to lead men and shepherd them through the long night. The meeting ended with a solemn remembrance of all the people they'd lost, especially those who had fallen in battle from their band.
Katara said a prayer for all the people she'd seen committed to the deep in her life. Out with the tide, until the day the moon touches the ocean, water swallows the land, and all are reunited in Tui's embrace.
The sour note at the end reminded Katara of how little she could bear to think about her mother's death. Katara excused herself from the mess, and wandered along innocent boardwalks laden down with grief. Here the air didn't bite her skin, but she still felt so cold right now. Katara's mother had traded her life for Katara's. And all that time she'd spend learning to become a warrior, enduring pain, hunger and humiliation to earn the right to wear the wolf-tail and face paint, and here she was still a child in search of a teacher.
Jet was fighting, while she slinked through occupied territory to find a Waterbending master. She hadn't felt this useless since the day her mother died. One more trial. One more humiliation, she recited. The first Fire Nation soldier she'd killed, she'd imagined the face of her mother's killer when she drove the knife home. The vicarious revenge had not satisfied her. His empty eyes brought no relief to the guilt.
The redwoods rustled in the gentle breeze. The smell of pitch was thick in the air. Far below her perch on the outskirts of the village, Katara heard the yelping call of a red deer. That's what Suki had called it; she'd never seen one. But it was rutting season now, and they were running through the brambles looking for someone to take off the edge of loneliness. If they were anything like the wapiti of her homeland, it was sure to be a spirited event.
Jet found her after a few moments of silent contemplation, watching the reddened leaves of the maples sheltered under the redwoods fall to the forest floor. Katara recognized his swagger before he even spoke. "I was wondering where you went," he said, leaning on the rope fence next to her.
"It was a good speech. But it got me thinking about all the people I'd lost."
"Oh. Anyone recent?"
"I lost a cousin a year ago when we raided an outpost that had sprung up too close to our village. It hurts to think of him, but the person who I was really dwelling on was my mother."
Jet patted her shoulder. "I lost my parents too. I know we all grieve differently, but I've always found remembering them helps me focus. Gives me a reason to keep getting out of bed in the morning."
"I get angry when I think about it, and I end up lashing out at the people who are close to me. We live for the good of the Tribe. They tell us to remember the dead, but our covenant is with the living, and I can't seem to do both well."
Jet chewed thoughtfully on his grass stalk. "The world's so big. I know how long I've marched just to get here, and when I see it on a map it's just this tiny blot on the Earth Kingdom. You've come all this way, from the ends of the earth, already. For the good of your tribe. I wanted to ask you four to stay with us, help us fight. Each of you is as good as my best fighters. You could make such a difference."
"But…"
"But you wouldn't have come this far if it wasn't important. You need to learn from the masters of your Tribe. And so does Azula." Jet turned to her. The confident partisan leader was gone. A young man, barely an adult, looked back at her unguarded. "I would have never imagined I would be trusting all our futures to a Fire Nation princess. But she's the real deal, isn't she. She's our Avatar, not the Fire Nation's."
His voice was filled with the reverent awe of a child daring to hope. Even as her prickly self, Azula had managed to charm an embittered child soldier into believing. Maybe she wasn't chasing a dream. "You're quite taken with her," Katara giggled.
Jet flushed red. "Well I did make a pass at her, but she shot me down."
"Of course you did," Katara teased, "fire is always pretty but you'll end up getting burned if you get too close to it."
"I could say the same about you."
Katara felt her ears burn as the butterflies danced in her belly. "Yeah…she is hot. And I care about her a lot. But she's so guarded, so single-minded. And I think I know why. There may come a day when she may have to choose between my life and the good of the world. I would rather she honored my memory than saved me and risked everything for it."
"Yeah, I' know what you mean. Some of my friends, particularly the ones who've known me longest…I can tell they have a thing for me. But I can't be their leader and their lover." Jet looked out at the quiet forest, eyes misty. "One of them…she's just a memory now. I never told her how I felt."
Katara laid a hand on his cheek, turning his eyes to meet hers. "But we're alive. And there's nowhere I'd rather be."
It almost surprised Jet when Katara stood on her tiptoes to kiss him. But soon enough he pulled her tight to his chest. She was hungry with need, and he gave readily, bunching her hair in his fist as he kissed ravenously. Breathless, he said, "Wow…not that I'm complaining, but are you sure about this?"
"Absolutely." His teeth found their way to her earlobe, drawing a heady gasp from her lips. "Isn't this what you came here for?"
Jet paused. Katara spurred him back to action by cupping the tent in his pants. Sucking air between his teeth, he said, "Yes."
"Good. I'm not looking for Mister Right, just Mister Right Now. You okay with that?"
"Absolutely."
With a heavy sigh, Katara patted him on the cheek. "But let's be discreet. Come to my cabin after dark. We'll pick this up there."
It was dusk when Azula awoke. The sudden feeling of falling vaulted her awake. She panted, sitting upright in the straw bed, clutching the linens to her chest. Either she hadn't dreamed, or it had vanished instantly from memory. Either way, Azula felt clammy with cold sweat. Perhaps she'd been roughing it too long, and now having a bed and blankets had left her too warm, or perhaps some turmoil had led her here. Regardless, she was thankful she slept in the nude.
After washing with the remainder of the water left for her, Azula dressed, did her hair up in a serviceable topknot, and stepped out into the cool night air. The bustle of the village had died down. Aside from the bioluminescent moss cultivated on the trees, the forest was dark. Chirping cicadas and hooting owls pierced the night. The forest was alive, and some of that energy seeped into Azula's weary bones, with each step being lighter than the last.
She vaguely remembered the directions to Katara's hut, and only got turned around once on her way there. Most of the rest of the village had settled into their quarters, aside from Longshot maintaining his diligent patrol. He tipped his hat when she passed.
Katara's hut was in a secluded corner of the village, on the far side of a giant sequoia. On the final bridge to it, Aang's ghost materialized once more, bringing Azula to a sudden halt. Cocking an eyebrow, she said, "Haven't seen you in a while."
"You can be difficult to reach in places that aren't spiritually active." Aang said. His face was placid, but his wavering voice betrayed his unease.
"So what gives, are we in danger?"
"No. You just need to trust me when I say you don't want to continue."
"That's absurd," said Azula. She walked straight through his apparition. He dissipated like a cloud of smoke before reappearing behind her. Azula cast a scornful glare back at him.
"Don't say I didn't warn you."
Candlelight glowed behind the window, piercing through the part in the curtains. Azula heard it first, and a pit formed in her stomach. She stumbled. Katara's gasps of delight were interspersed with a man's earthy moans.
A quiet "no" escaped Azula's lips. She didn't know what force possessed her, but she needed to see, to know that her mind wasn't playing tricks on her. So Azula crept forward on unsteady legs, bracing herself against the window frame. Through the part in the curtains Azula saw Katara on her back on a bearskin blanket, her skin warmly glowing with sweat in the candlelight. Her hair was untressed, splayed out in beautiful brown radiance on the fur.
Jet's lips were barely visible behind the curtain of his shaggy hair as they suckled on Katara's neck and ear, leaving faint pucker marks on the skin. Her legs wrapped around his waist, urging on the steady undulations of his hips. With the next thrust, Katara arched her back and grinned the brightest smile Azula had ever seen. Katara's next sultry moan crashed through Azula like a hammer through a stained glass window.
It was beautiful. They were beautiful together, and it made Azula want to burn to ash. She turned and stumbled away, still haunted by the sounds of their lovemaking. She made it across the platform to the next tree before collapsing. The rough bark dug into Azula's back and she slid down to the deck, curling her legs tight to her chest.
It was no use. Azula could still hear them faintly. She'd come half-way around the world and back again, and nothing had changed. The attention, the desire, always went to someone else. Azula cursed herself, wondering when she'd become so weak as to need validation from others. But that was a lie. It always had been a lie. A life spent chasing her father's approval only to be shucked out like the trash when she'd become too difficult. Ty Lee; brilliant, bubbly, smiling Ty Lee could have whoever she wanted. And she did.
Azula sighed. What use was there in blaming Katara? She couldn't find it in herself, except in her lowest, guiltiest moments, to blame Ty Lee for her bon vivant personality. The bird is most beautiful when it's flying free, and Azula could never bring herself to tarnish that beauty.
And Mai's heart always belonged to her brother, not to her. She'd have to face him before long, and if the time came to choose, Mai would be staring her down behind the edge of a knife.
The tears came unbidden. Azula buried her face in the crook of her arm, but the tears still wouldn't stop. And for an instant, her mind's eye showed her the mirage of Azula atop Katara instead of Jet, thrusting into Katara, kissing her neck and listening to Katara moan her name. The vision haunted Azula.
She couldn't find the strength to stand to escape this. This is self-harm, Azula scolded herself. But her legs were jelly. What was there left to do but endure?
The night sky darkened as the moon drifted behind roiling clouds. Only the pale light from Katara's hut shone on Azula. And a voice that could not be there suddenly said, "What a drag."
Azula turned to see the apparition of Mai sitting next to her. Her hair was bound up in prim ox-horn buns, shining like black laquer. Her tawny brown eyes glittered in the firelight. It was Mai down to every detail, too perfect to be real.
"You're not here. You can't be," Azula whispered.
"Oh? You've already talked with more than one ghost, are you sure."
"Because I'd rather be crazy than you be dead."
"Well that sucks, never knowing whether you're talking to a ghost or a voice in your head," the Mai-image said. "But there are more than two options."
"Enlighten me."
Mai shook her head. "What was it that Ty Lee liked to say? 'No spoilers.' You'll find out eventually."
"Well go away until I do. I don't want to see you."
"Tsk tsk, you've become more honest with yourself lately, but you've still got so far to go." Mai looked over to Katara's hut. "You have to let her go, my dear."
"How can I? I only just realized I'm in love with her."
"One step at a time. The first step is to stop punishing yourself, get up, and walk back to your hut, and spare you both the embarrassment."
Azula huffed and decided she'd rather hurt than walk away again. Rocking back and forth, she hugged her knees tighter and remained.
Mai growled. "Azula! What are you doing here? What business do you have with lovers, with the pleasures of life? What's good for Man is not good for the Avatar. Power and responsibility are what you always craved because deep down you already know this."
Azula scowled. "Whatever else I may be, I'm still human. The Avatar is the union of Man and Spirit, and must live in both worlds."
"And where did that get your predecessors, huh? Into this mess, the world slowly spiraling towards the Eschaton. There's no time left for this indulgence, Daughter of the Sun."
"Shut up, I don't care."
The Mai apparition almost smirked. "This isn't over," she said, before fading away.
Azula almost would've rather she stayed. Because this left her alone with the sounds of lovemaking that she could neither ignore nor escape. The climax came soon enough, followed by the hushed whispers of bubbly, giddy pillowtalk. Azula might've even been able to slink away, like a wolf with her tail between her legs, had the still night air not been shocked with the thunderous crack of catapults.
The bombardment continued, boom after boom, as the dark horizon began to glow orange with fire. Azula jumped to her feet and sprang to the edge of the platform. Cursing came from Katara's cabin, followed by the rustling sounds of quickly dressing. Jet didn't notice Azula when he emerged still shirtless.
Katara, unfortunately, did. Their eyes met in jagged recognition. Azula sighed and tried to hide the hurt in her eyes, but Katara's eyes cut through her all the same. It was like pulling a knife out. Useless, she could never hide forever from Katara. Needless, because it's not like being hurt was going to change anything.
Katara's eyebrows knitted as she grit her teeth. Whatever remorse she might have felt was smothered under the violation. Azula started to protest but the words were strangled in her throat. There was no point. She should have left and let them have their privacy. But she didn't.
Katara passed the sentence swiftly. "We'll talk about this later."
Jet was already raising the alarm, shouting for the village to rouse out of their beds. Katara followed after, trussing her hair up into a wolf-tail. Azula waited a moment then ran after. A great brass bell clanged in the central mess, followed by the bellowing voice of Pipsqueak.
Getting the fighters together took about ten minutes, enough time for Azula to return to her cabin to retrieve her weapons. Shoving her way to the front, Azula took the left hand post next to Jet. A crude map of the region was unfolded on the wooden table. Jet pointed with his sword at areas of interest. "The attack is at this village, called Gao's Hollow. It's one of the free villages in the valley, but the Fire Nation must suspect them of collaborating with us." He turned to Azula, "I've never seen anything like this. Can you provide any context?"
Gimlet eyes watched her, fearful, untrusting. "It's likely a clearing operation. The first step of colonization. When the territory becomes too difficult to hold, the Imperial Firebenders are deployed to stiffen local detachments. They sweep through the area systematically and burn it."
"Burn it?" Smellerbee asked.
"Everything. They've already calculated it's not worth it to try to exploit, so they'll settle for driving away the native population and putting more reliable ones down as colonists later."
"Can we stop them?"
"No. But if we act quickly, we can buy the residents time to escape. They have to disperse widely to get the burn started. After that, the Firebenders just encourage its progress. If we hit them swiftly, we can slow them…" she glanced over the map, "here, this stream. It's a natural firebreak, and we can use the water to staunch their progress. But I have to warn you, there won't just be occupation troops. Those are mostly old men, the infirm, and colonial auxiliaries. There will be regular army troops and Imperial Firebenders."
Jet glanced at the glow on the horizon. "We can't do nothing. Anyone older than fourteen will come with me. Everyone else, get everything packed up. We can't say here. Send runners to the rest of the villages in the area, tell them to fight with us or run."
The Duke stood on the table, "But I can fight too–"
"I need you here. You have the most important job. If we fight and the rest of the villages can't escape, then it will all be nothing."
"But–"
"-No buts. You have your orders. Eat while you can, there may not be regular meals for a while. We leave in twenty."
Azula turned to follow Sokka to where Ikki was stabled at, but a vice grip seized her by the upper arm. Azula turned to find Katara's stony gaze.
"Katara, I'm sorry, but this isn't the time–"
"There may not be a later, Azula. Why?"
"I…I couldn't leave."
"Why not?"
"It hurt too much."
"That's why you were spying on me?"
Azula growled. The remorse vanished under the tide of anger. She was practically begging for Katara to take the hint without making her say it. "I wasn't spying. I stumbled on you two. I tried to leave but…but I was heartbroken. I couldn't make it further than the next tree. Happy? I've got to get ready." Azula tried to leave, but Katara caught her again. She shoved Azula against a tree, knocking her head against the bark.
"That's not an explanation, you're not making any sense."
Azula bit her lip, trying to quell the eruption. It didn't work. "Because I'm in love with you, you idiot! It took finding you with someone else to admit that to myself. Happy?"
Katara looked like Azula had slapped her across the face. "You're in love with me?"
"Say it again, maybe the whole village will hear it."
"Azula…I'm flattered, really, but it's–"
"-a bad idea, I know. Agni below, I know. I've been bombarded with past lives and spirits telling me I'm holding the world in the palm of my hand, and part of me wants to drop it just to keep you safe."
"I wouldn't want that."
"Fear not, I would never dishonor you like that. We've both consecrated our blood as warriors, and I know what that means to us both. For what it's worth, I truly am sorry for violating your privacy."
"I'm…I'm not as mad as I was. I'll get over it. And I'm not mad at you for how you feel. I could never be." Katara's glare softened. She pulled Azula in for a hug so tight it squeezed the breath out of Azula. "I'm not saying no, I still don't know how I feel about…anyone to be honest. Maybe when this is all over–"
Azula shook her head. "-No, don't make any promises. We have a job to do right now."
"Right." Katara released Azula and patted her shoulder. "Help me with my warpaint and I'll do yours."
"What?"
"Our Lodge needs new blood. There's a proverb about the thick-necked wolf whose howl drives the enemy to rout. I would never want one of my Tribe to go into battle without the Spirits of a Warrior Lodge to guide her. For our People."
Azula was silent for a moment, feeling the weight of this simple gift, freely given. Katara's family had taken her in at the lowest point of her life. It meant more to Azula than words could say to be accepted like this. But it also came with the crushing realization that accepting this gift also meant accepting her permanent estrangement from the land of her birth. Azula swallowed the dry lump in her throat and nodded. "For our People."
While the hidden village turned into a bedlam of children mobilizing for battle, or to gather all their belongings to flee before the advancing inferno, Katara led Azula by the hand back to her hut. She could forget what she had just witnessed here once Katara's hands touched her face, tucking her unbound locks behind her ears.
Azula sat seiza, eyes closed, just feeling Katara's touch. It was just oil and pigment, but it was always the simple things that meant the most. Katara started with the white base coat, smearing it quickly and efficiently over Azula's cheeks. "With this," she sang, "I initiate you into the Wolf Lodge, Azula, Daughter of the Sun."
Azula giggled, "I'm pretty sure that legend about the royal family is just a myth."
"I'm not letting your father intrude on this day."
"Good point."
"This marking is the totem of Amarok the Great Wolf Spirit. May he grant you his courage in the face of danger. May his ferocity strike terror in your foes. Let his cunning guide your hand." Katara's thumb traced over Azula's bottom lip, eliciting a shiver from the princess.
The gray came next, applied uniformly over the top half of Azula's face. Katara apologized, saying "doing the eyes is the most uncomfortable part, just bear with me." Afterwards, she applied the midnight blue like eye shadow, marking a crisp edge to the eye-black and wing-tips with the backside of her knife. Katara finished up with two more flourishes on Azula's cheeks.
"You can open your eyes now," Katara said, a lilt in her voice.
Katara held up a mirror when Azula's eyes opened. The princess saw in the reflection the same markings that Katara had worn when she'd found her in that lifeboat. It suited her well, she decided, grinning. She saw more than just the orphaned princess too, she saw the ferocity of the Great Wolf, and felt his courage pumping in her heart.
Katara was happy with her handiwork. Smirking, she said, "Think you can manage that, or is it going to turn out like your attempts at haircare?"
"Please, I always did my own make-up. I am a master at it."
It was no lie. Azula worked through the process on Katara's face, studying every curve of her skin and lips with immaculate detail. Katara trembled as Azula's fingers traced across her lips and eyes. The mood went somber, and Katara asked, "with everything that is at stake, why do you leap into this fight?"
Azula had just put the finishing touches on Katara's facepaint. Measuring her words, Azula untangled the knot of conflicting desires in her heart. "However little it might mean, I can't walk away from this. Not having seen how this ends."
"Don't die. I mean it."
"You either."
Author's Notes: After a long and tortuous moving process, I'm finally back. I'm not fully unpacked yet, but the worst is finally over. Next update will be on Friday, August 1st, and then hopefully we'll be back to the regular schedule til completion.