Chapter IX: An Impotent Trip Back to Gallery
Attiving back on Gallery the Doctor and Raz got out of the TARDIS and walked over to the place where therw was stuff and the Doctor said - Okay now Raz that we are here again I have a special idea for what we need to do.
Raz said – And okay what is that Doctor? Have sax?
The Doctor laughed and smiled and hugged Raz and said – No, silly! We mist find out what happened to cause Wilf to go bad and why Chibnal was chosen to be in control of our lives and stuff!
Raz said – Sounds good, bich!
Then the Doctor and Raz walked to Navin's house and rang the bell but ther was no sound so the Doctor said – I don't hink navin is home right now let's go and check his work.
And so the Doctor and Raz went to where Navin worked and checked to see if he was there and he was in his office laughing at the lady who worked there named Darkel who he liked to prank call and put her stuff in jello and stuff. Walking up to him the Doctor said – Navin, my best friend's employee! How are you?!
Navin said – Oh I'm good but the Master illed fiftyeen people today and there was a time bomb explosion in the capitol so Iv'e had a lot of work and shit.
Raz said – You don't have to fuckin tell us that, we've had a hard time today too.
Navin said – I fuckin bet you have bitch!
Then Ramona walked up and said – Oh hey Doc how the fuck are you doing? You never have sax with me anymore ever since I was president!
The Doctor said – Don't say that Ramona, you know I van't have sax with presidents. Not anymore.
Raz was kind of jealous of Ramona at this point and wanted to shove the sword she was carrying int o her fucking face for being such a snooty high class shithead btu decided not to todayt, and that she'd do that on a different day like Ramona's birthday just to make it even worse for her. So instead Raz just said – Fuck off Ramona you shitty bichead valley girl.
Ramona said – Oh by the way Doctor since you are hear, how about we go to the time lord history monument and see what we can see there and have fun and a picknic and shit?
The Doctor said – Oh cool that sounds couol let's do that.
So then thet all went to te Time lord history monument and the Doctor was excited and happy ro see the statues to Omega and Rassilonc and the Other (aka the Doctor in his previous likfe when he went back tot eh start of gallery and helped make it before regenerating and dying and stuff) but when they go t there he ws shocked and surpriosed and hoorrief to see something else there as a stuatue and so he yelled – EHAT THE LITIERAL FUCKIN ELL IS THAT SHIT?!
Ramona and Navin said – Oht aht? That's the stuatue to the founder of tlime lird history, Ursula the Pavement Slab!
The Doctor calmed himself down, and then with all the coolness and resolve he could muster, causulally said – OH FUCKIN ELL NO MOYHERFUCLER!
Navin and Ramona looked confuse and so did Raz and Darkel and Ollistra and K-9 and Bracksitall and the war chief and the toymaker and the clockmaker and the eleven and all the other time lords who were walking around right then around the monument. Navin said – What the ufuck is wrong, Dictor?
Raz said – It's the fucking boliwjob moning meryle statue! That's what's wrong!
She said that because the Doctor had told her about his adventure with love and monsters and th eabzorballof earlier that day because of the borad beig the abzorball and his son and stuff and so that was why she new and soucld say shit like that to them because she new better tan them because Razor Awesome is fuckin awesome and cooler than Yaz or Ryan or Graham or the new guy or any of the old compnaions who were good and stuff but not as fuckin cool as Razor Awesome. The Doctor said – What's wrong is that that stuature shouldn't exist! That souhdl be a stuate of Rasiollon and Olmega and the Other and not Pavement Slab Ursual! Why is it that pavement slab bich with the Elton John fan for a boy friend?!
Ramona looked confused and said – But Dictor it's always been this waty this is always the stuatue we've had here like forever and stuff and we used to lllay on it when we were in the academy with the deca and you and the master were in a band, remember? You guys literlaly plated a live show right here ontop of the stature!
The Doctor new she was sort of right cause he and the master and their badn had played a live show on top of the stuatue, but it had been the other staute at that point and not this new statue and so he was mad and confused and angry and so he got out his sonic gun and shot the statue a bunch of times and ran up and punched it and shit it and blew oit up and stabbed it and stuff, Then Ramona said – Why did y ou do that Doctoe you fuckin idito?! Thaat's our freakin history you retardis!
The octor aid – Shut up Ramona, you dumbie. Now yell me what happened to make this this away and why Pavement Slab Ursula was a stuatue here and why you all think she made Gallery and shit and stuff pleasehhurry though cause I'm on a important quest and I need to fo it so I don't turn intoa girl like jobi shipiker and have the chinball SJW seasons but I want to fix this quirckly first becausr this is almost as bad as the things he did with the timeless shitren and stuff so please tell me quickly caus ei don't have all fuckin day and I do't have time for this shit anyway.
Then Navin said – So in th berignnig of Gallery Pavememt Slab Uerslua came and gave us time travel and regenraitons and shit and then she became our leader andpreseident and then she went to the death zone and regnerared a bunch of stff and helped us in the time war and stuff and created the Face of Ursula which is like the Hand of Omega but it actually exists unlike the hand of mega which odesn't ecist at all and never fid anymoe, and she's dead now hut stulil a huge and important part of our people's cultural heritage and so she's a part of you really Doctor. Bacially she founded Gallery Time Lard society!
The Doctor and Raz said – That's wronf lets fuck this joint.
And then they went andran over to the TARDIS BACK WHERW that was and then thet climed in and left and the Doctor said – We need to go back to the start of Gallery but I can't do that because it's ipomsssible!
Then Raz said – Maybe it's impossible for you, but I'm Razor fuckin Awesome! Anything is possible for me if I fuckin wanti to to be!
Asn so then she used her awedomeness to travel them back in time in the TARDIS to the foinding of Gallery society and they got out of the TARDIS and said – Oh! Hey Salad kabob man! What are y ou doig here?
And Salad Kabob Man said – Well when I came back we were going to eat and stuff but you guys and the others were gone so I hult a time machine but ut didn't work right and it sent me back in time to here and shit at the foudnig fo your society.
The Doctor said – Oh okat, sorry man come ith us and we be friednsa gain, cool beans?
Salad Kabob Man said – Cool beans, ashole!
Then they all went and went to where Pavement Slab Ursula was. When they found her she was starting time lord society and stuff, but the Doctor said – Stop right therw! You cannot foubd this because you are the wrong person from the wrong time and your'e a pavement slab and worst of all youre a woman and woman never found society! So come on, Ursula!
Then Ursuala said – Ha! I can found society here if I want to, you little bich! This is a woman's world an the SJW Pavement Slab Ursula now so I'm liberated and stuff and I killed my husband Elton John Paul the Pope cause I fuckin hate all men and shit! And now I'm fuckin up the timeline and screwing youe history and canon just because I can and I don't care about the fuckin canon cause I'm a little bstrd like Chinbalallal and stuff and I don't like canon ro good stuff and shit so I like truining things for evrtyone andt het's why I'm heew! And nothing you do can stop me because I have the SJW on my side!
Then Ursula laughed and the Doctor and Raz and Salab Kadob Man all looked at each other and nodded and agreed. Then Doctor and Raz and Salab Kabod Man ganged up on Pavement Slab Ursual and beat the shit out of her and stopmed on her and threw her at trees and walls and stuff and the Doctor said – I'm the MOTHERFUCKIN DOCTORK, BICH!
And then when Pavement Slab ursuala was justbaout done she said – Stop! Stop! Have mary! I surrender and want forgivreness and stuff! I turn good now!
The Doctor just laughed and said – No! No second chancs. I'm tht sourt of man!
Then he picked up Pavement Slab Ursuala, and with all his strength he yeeted her as far as he coulds like a fuckin frisbee and she went for miles before explodimg into a explosion of piss and shit and blood and puss and SJW stuff. Then everyone cheeared. A little kid said – That was amqazing you guys!
Then the Doctor said – Okay, thank you little Rassilon! Now here, you and Omeg and the Other over there go and fuckin ound Gallery soucirty the way it wass upppsed to be founded!
Rasioln said – You don't have to tlel me twice!
Then he and Omega dnt he Other went and founded Gallery society and the Doctor and Raz and Bakob Man smiled and went back tot the TARDIS and left and the Doctor was appy because he had done agood job and was getting better and better at fighting and beating these SJW bad guys and was even more sure he would never want to regurgitate.