Chapter XV: Adventures of the Past
{IMPORTANT NOTE: In this story Joey and Zames are both in their early 20s and not teens or soemtinhgl like thiat beuase that wouldn't be good for the story so hteyre older cause they were working for the time lrods for so logn and because the stoey would be ierd with them being youngrer and unlike CHIBANALAL I'm not a werido.}
Meanwhila a long time ago int eh past during the lost season 6 b time when the sohow was really cool and things got erased by the BBC for being too adult, the Second Doctor and his companions Zoey and James were going in the TARDIS and the Doctor was wondering what would happen in the future and decided that whaot would probably happen as he would stil man and stuff and not ever a waomen. He wals awlkaing around the TARDIS kooking for his floot when suddenly he could not find his floot. Thinking to imseld he said – Now where could I have pissibly left my floot? I love that floot and would never part from it! Not ever!
Wandering through the TARDIS searchinf for it he eventually heaaerd a strange noise coming from one of the rooms. Walking in he found Zoey in the room with the floot. The Doctor looked at Zoey and the floot and said – May I have my floot back please Zoey?
Zoey aaid – Yeah sure here you go dude.
Then Zoey handed it to the Doctor. Ptting it in his mouth the Doctor played Smells like Ten Spirit on the flooot and was happy and then said – Do you no where James is, Zoey?
Zoey said – I do't I think hw was in another room fightings oemone with a sword.
The Doctor said – Thank you!
Then the Doctor walked off happinly with his floot and went to the room Zoey hd mentioned and inside found James fighting a robot with a battling xe and a hamme rand a sword and an AK46 because James liked AK46. The Doctor watche das James shot the robot fill of holes and then chopped ouff its head and rhen smashed it more and then blew tip u.
Said the docore o – Oh my giddy aunt Hames! You killed that robot but good!
James said – Than yoo Doctoooor is nam wuz Barnuboos the bobot kang, and I had too kilt him to stoop im frooom takin over the TA DIS!
The Doctor said – Oh thank you then James! The Barnasubs Rbobt KiNG must have been hard ot fight them?
James said – NO! He was FUCKING SHIT I FUCHIJGN HATE THE FUCKING ROBOT KING AND I HFUCKING HATE CHRIS FUCUKING CHINLNALL EVEN THOUGH HE HASN'T WBEEN FUCKING BORN TET AND I WANT TO LBOW HIM Up!
Then the Doctor laughe da di said – Oh my giddy aunt James! Please wath you r laugnage! You no I don't like swearing!
Then James adi – WELL FOOOOK WHAT OU FOOOIKING LIKE, DOCTOOOOR! NOOBOOODY TALLLS JAMES MCRRIMMMON THE HHIGLNADER TO NOT SWARE WHEN HE FOOKING WANTS TO SWEAR!
Then the Doctor said – Okay. But the way, James lok at my floot!
Then the Doctor showed Jaems the floot, and hames said – I, Zoet and I have had manny a good time with that therr floot, I can tell yooo that!
Then he scratched his rear end and said – By the way, Doctor do tou think I could maybe start visiting my home of Scotland again soon some time?
The Doctor said – Well matybe James,but it all eepdsn on where we're sen t next! As you no we're being force dt to work for the Time Lords because eo fwhat happened during the War Games, and so now we go missions for th eTIme Lord secret service people th e IRA!
Then James said – I, I no!
Then suddenly a loud nois was heard form Zoeys room like a scream almost but happy. The Doctor decided to check it out ao hw walek din and said – What is it Zoey what is going o nand why are you screaming happily? OH!
Looking over at Zoey and her screen, he could see tha the IRA was calling and Zoey said – Iam so happy ! We have anew mission Doctor! The IRA has a new mission for us to day!
Walking u the Docror played some Nicki Manji on his floot even though she wasn't alive yet and said to the IRA person – Hello, what can we fo oyf you tiday?
The IRA person time lord said – Well todsy we have a special mession for you in the hsitroocial area of Scotlnad,
Heatig t aht James said – FOOOOKING ELLLLLL YAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSS!
The Doctor and Zeoy lauhed at that and looked to James lovingly saying – Oh James, yours so adorable and cute !
Then James blushed and said – ER… WELLL.. MAYBE WE SHOULD HEAR ABOOOT OUR MISSION?
The IRA persons aid – Good ieea James! Your mssion is to go to Scotland in the psst and blow up the historica l Scottisjh lcaiton ht e Red House, which as you no is where the koing of Scotland mlives like the wite house or buckingma h=palace,but called the red house because of al of the red hait and blood and anrgy red faces that Scottish people always have.
James laughed aand said – eYeah, I supoooose yoooo can say we're tha wooooorst people alive, I?!
Then they all decided to go and went on the mssiona nd James brought his AK46 and Zoey beought her sniper rifle and posions and the Doctor brought his floot and bombs and kill knife. Droppign the TARDIS into the distant past of 1899, around the time James qaa from the y stepped out and James adi – I! DOCTOOOR! ZOOOOEY! This is when I'm froooom!
Zoey said – Oh that's so sweeey and cool James!
Then they went and began thre msisiosn and Zoey infutlrated the Rwd House by pretending to be the president of Scottland's sister, and the Doctor infulrated it by pretending ot be thepreisdent of Sxotland's favorite trumpet player and htn James burst in with is AK46 and shot everyone and then y ehy blew up th ehihgilding, whith the Doctor carrying the presiden tou t with him. Taking him to a remot ep place, they tied hmi up and Zoey began her interrogation. Tying thw rpesident ot a chair she said – Hello there Mr. Peesident. You don't know me but my name is Zoey Harrilot and I'm an epxerrt in posion and torture and extractinginformarion. I've been sent along with my friends here to kill you and your house, adnwe already killed your house so only you are left to kill. That said, we antwaty still aant to learnthe secrets of you and so we have to torute you for them first.
The resident of Scotland said – FNGHOGO TOGOOGFFO MSSOTOTRO ODOFGSNOSNFO/
Looking to James Zoey said – I don't speak fucking Scatish. James, what's he saying?
James said – I, the president is sayin tha e dooont want too tall ooos the secrets o himself and ooof Scotland!
Zoey said – Oh. Well then, Mr. President let me just tell you that if you don't tlel me for while I'll just torture eyou worse and woese until you FUCKING BEG ME TO FUCKING MURDE YOU. OTAY?
With eat the presidet of Scotland said – GOIB ODGHOCXOH NGFIGN VWURVY SBFNGI.
James translated and said – OO e says tha e will tall yoooo than since you are thratenin him!
Zoey smiled suddoctvely andlipped her lisp saying – Gooood…
Then she walked up to the president and slowly sat down facing him, on his lap, as he awas stlill locke dup. leaning n close shw wahispered into his ear – Mr. President? Please tlell me your secret. The scret of how to translate the Book of the 7 Dispensations.
The preisdne t said – ORGOIOFG OGIFNODND OSNFOINFFN AOEIRNV GOGM
James tranlstared and said – E says e dooont nooo ow too dooo tha.
Zoey smiled, looked itnto the priesdents eyes, and then jammed a nife right into the president of scotland's special bits. She said – You might want to reconsider that answer, Mr. Presdint. Unless you want to lose more than just your hcanc eat having to have some future wfenrations.
The president sia d- GOINGOIGOFOIHGFIO JFONGGILMDIOFHOIGVMOFHGFKLHNMGDLHGIOMI G MGLMBOIFMOIBO
James said – He says AAAAARRGGHHH AERGGHHHH OOOWWWWWWWWYYY ARRRGHHH.
Zoey said – Good. I wanted him to have some pain. You look telaly hort by ht e wat, James.
James bushed a nds aid – Ooh, please Zoooey! Not infrooooont of the Doctooor! Yooo no e gets jelloooos!
The Doctoe said – Yes… Yes I d…
Then the priesdentgave Zoeey the info she anted and they deied to leave and she shot the preisdne tin his head and dumped him in a swmap and then tjewy went back rtot ehTARDSI and the Doctor played hi sfloot and Zoey and James had some adult saxxy time. Then the Doctor though t ands aid – You no, now that we no how to translate the Book of 7 dispensaions by St James, the IRA can finally discvoer how to access the War in Heaven and possibly even prevent I t from happening!
Meanwhile Zoey and James had stolen the floot again and were using it for aome fun when Zoey said – OOO I do so hppe the Doctor stay sa man for forever because having the Doctor be a woman would be shitty!
Then, a long time later, the Thrid Doctor went to UNIT and talked to the Brigafier and said – Hello Birgsadier, buy the way I wasjust thinking about when I was doing season 6 B.
The Birgadier said – Yhes, what a different time that waa!
The Doctor said – preciously. But now it is a ddiferent differet time and things are different and it is the 70s and shit, and I was just wondering….
Th eBrigadier said - Yes?
The Doctor said – Well you no how theres that lady Lis Slaw whos a fuckin lady scientist or some sort of shit?
The Birgaider said – Yhes?
The Doctor said – Well I want her fuckin gone, okay? Her feminist bullshit annoys the fcuk out of me and has mad eme start wwwearing which I never did before because I hated swearing enve though Zoey and James did it a lot and stuff, but now Lis is so fucking annoyingthat sh e fucking naeks em want ot fucing swear all the time.
The Brigaider said – Ok, alright. I will have lLIs fired. Any other seaons why, though?
The Dotor said – No, I just fucking hate her.
SO then the Brigaider had Lis fired and the next day the Third Dotor can intio work and thought – Yes! She's fuckin gone ! If shed have wantd to sax me or something than she oucld have stayed, but she didn't so she had to fucking be disposed of!
(This is because the Third Doctor was garbage and a terrible persona nd mean ands sexist and an SJW and stuff and hated woman and dwas misogionsitic and liberal and stuff. He is seasily th wowkrst of olden days Doctor Who and I FUCKINGHATE HOM. I bet CHibanlala would bring him back if he wasn't desd already. That said, Lis was also shit and so was thebigaidier and stuff . All of thoses aosns wre shit. Series seven through 11, with he thied Doctor, qere wasilt rhw work of olden day s Doctor Who and compeltey bulshit and stuff and ithe showlost its way and became Jame as Bond and stuff and military blowing people up and no traveling int ime and th companiosn were shit and I hate it. Antway, back tot ehstory I went ona bit of a tangerint XD)
But thewn the Doctor noticed sometihn and said – OH FUCKING NO! BIRGIAADEIR! LIS SLAW HAS FUCIN STOLEN THE OOOK OF TH ESEVEN DISPENSAITONS AND OUR ONLY WAY OF TRANSLATING IT! NOOOOOO!
Meawbhile in the futeu the Thirteenth Docto rthught about these times in lie,a nd then got broed withht hinking about them and then went and found Raz and they had more sax.