Chapter 17: The Secret Past of Verity Lambert
Meanwhile in the year 1963 Verity Lambert qwas sitting in her office and mad and stuff. The reason why was that the mothefucking BBC exceutivs had been in a little ebit ago to talk to ber and said – I'm sorry Veirtiyn but you have to scrap that Dr Who poilto episode tou were making, bcuse it is just shit and we fucking ahte it okay, itch?
Shed smiled and said – Yes okay I will fucking scrap it now!
Then theyd walked out and she d sat and was still siting noe. Thinking to herelf she said – Fucking BBC executive! They fucking screw up everything a d ruin shit! They want em to scrap this pilot because it talk about how Doctor Who is from century 49 and a human sicentrist and shit and because I used the Book of Soyga as a prop and because I had the Doctor fuckin murder the badguys with a knife and perform a ceremony, and somehow thatis fuckin bad. So oaky, I will get rid of it and scrap it and burn some of it for them, but I will also keep a lot of it for myself and hold onto it and not let it go and hide it and shit. When Sybney Numan told me to make the show he saod – NO FUCKING BUG EYED UCKOING MONSTWERS, VERITYY! NO FUCKING BUGEYED FUCKING MOSNTERS! YOU GOT THAT VERITY UOU DUMB FICK? YOU GOT THAT?!
And then she had said – YES, I FUCKING GET IT SYBNEY! NOW DUCKING LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALINE!
And then she'd flipped him off and driven away in his car, leaving him to stand in the circle some nmore. As she had driven she had hti a tree and crashed nd a sprit had come to her and told her – VERITY, YOU RAE MAKING DOCTOR WHO NOW! BUT WHAT YOU NOT NO W IS DOCTOR WHO HAS BEEN AROUDN FOR A LONG TIME! IT WAS MADE TWNRTY YEARS AGO, NOT NOW IN 1963! BUT YOU ARE CREATING THE FIRST TV SHOW ERSION AND YOU ARE GOING OT HAVE OT FUCKING INCLUDE SOME CUCKING BUG EYED MOSNTERS, OKAY? IT IS EMANDED!
Verity had been in the crash and was still in the wreckage an d groggy and covered in blood and had a broke leg ad one of her pinkies was missing, but she shakily had said – Oh okay. I will include the bb bugeyed m mobster sna d stuff id tou save me.
And so then he spirit had saved hee and she ahd learned its secret name but could not remember it nowl, because eshe new hse had stuff to do instead. So se h slit the original pilot into hee pocket, and then went and started reweitng the script and hidht eh Book of Soyga in the epsidoe better. Because she new she still had to include it, that WAS NO quietionable, but she hd tohid eit batter so the FUCKING BBC FUCKIGNNEXCEUTIVE BASTERDS WOULDN'T FICKING SEE IT AND WOULDN'T FUCKING ENDEMAND IT BE DUFCKING REMOVED THE FUCING BBC I FUCKING HATE HTEM NAD THEY ARE SHOT – Verity thought.
Then, once that was ddone, she went ot the actods and cast and crew peoplena nd filmets and stuff and gave them the new script snd thet madw rhe new verions of the pilot and even though it wssdnt as good, and it couldn't be as good really, she was happy wit what she ahd done and made hand the secrets shed gisdden susccesfully for the special ones to find. And then, shed gone and taken the episode ot the BBC FUCKIGN EXCETIVES and said to them – Here is the new version of the Doctor Who pilot episode thing o-fucking-kay you bastersd?
They said – Okay thank you,
And then yhayw atche dit and liked it and kept the show going and Verity was happy. And then shed gone home and been very ajppy,and then, finally, she had used the secrts of ifel and death to create the portal through diensions, and she had stepped through, after which point she new she would always exist within both dminesniosna t once, the bidimensional Vierity, both separate Veritties with their own distinct lies and loves and at the same time the exact same Verity. It was a paradox, and she was glad. Then, finally, Verity Lambert befan ro laugh and cry at once.