Chapter Twenty: Rose Dies

The Doctor and Raz and K-9 were in the TARDIS one day, and the Doctor was bored. So he said to Raz – Hey Raz I'm bored. What should woe do?

Raz said – Well I'm really fucking hungry we could fwr auome fucking food N SD shit.

The Doctor sa id – Oh that his a fuckin col idea where do you want foodo from?

Raz said – FROM FUCKIGN IKEA, WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINKI WANT IT FROM SHITHEAD?

Then they both laughe da nd the Doctor aaid – Oh that was a good K-9 implression!

Raz said – I fuckin no! I'm so fuckin perfect at fuckin ipmressions. Anyway I don't care were we ieat as long as I can have saz with you after.

The Doctor said – Okay!

SO then thay went and ate lunch at Red Lboseter in Ireland and theb they went down to the bedroom in the TARDIS and had fucikin sax for a while, and then the Doctor said – You no what, my tummy is still grumbly. I want more food!

Raz said – Otay, but I'm too tired and full for food so you go get food alone.

Rhe Doctor said – Okay .

Then the Doctor went ot he console room and found K-9 and said – Hi K-9 what are you doing?

K-9 said – Oh fucking piss off you shithead arsheface ashole basterd alein fucker.

Then K-9 rolled off and the DOcotr said – Where does the Doctor want to eat?

He was talking to ihmslef, but he didn't now the answer. Then he decide d – I no wrere I want to eat! Taco bell!

So then the Doctor flew the TARDIS to the plpanet Tacoia 68 and then he stepped out and saw it; the last Taco Bell in the nuinveirse, atop the highest hill. So he daisd – Well Doc, lets go!

Then he walked up th ehilla nd to the Taco Bell and w ent in to the Taco Bell and went over to order and said – I want some fuckin tacos, bich.

The person at the counter was named Miss Young and she said – Otay that will eb fifty doollars please.

The Doctor said – WHAT? But I only have epounds!

Miss Young said – Oh we don't take opunds here only dolllars.

So then the Doctor said – Well listen here, you snotty ruddynoses secretary lady I don't care about, tlel you something: I am the motherfucking Doctor, and I demand my fuckin tacos now and NO I WILL NOT FCUKING PAY FOR THE FUCKING TACOS GIVE THEM TO ME FREE FOR OR I NEVER SAVE THIS PLAENT AGAIN.

Miss Young said – Oh okay here you go Mr. Doctor.

Then Miss Young handed the Doctor fifteen tacos and he said – Tank you.

Then Miss Young said – Oh you welcome honey.

Then the Doctor went a ds ati downa dn atew all his tacos and when he was done he said – Ooo fuckin willy I am so fuckin full! I really should not have ordeed difteenn of thenese but I did and now I need to fuckin poop so bad.

SO then the Doctor got up an d went tohe the taco bell restroom and went in the stall and sat down and triy to poop and couldn't and then he realized that he was read y ot leav reso he finished pooping and then he left and wen tback to the TARDIS and thought – You no I wish I had someone to eat tacos with sometimes because K-9 does not eat and Raz doesn't like tacos and Wilf is evil and also dead and Salad Kabob Man is also dead and Yaz was shit and is dead and Ryan was shit an d is dead and Grace was okay but is dead and probably didn't like tcocs antyay and Susan is evil and also dead and my beloved son Borad is also dead and good and Clare and River are both dead. So I have no noe t o eat tacos with! Then the Doctor was about to start may b eceying manly but then he realizws he new someone who dould like to eat tacos with him ands aid – YES! I will go and save my friend! Hewiill wan tto eat toacos with me!

So then the Doctor went and flew the TARDIS to the pas and went to were he met Rose during Rose in the town of London and he went and instead of helppin g save Rose he went and found his buddy Clive Funch an d said to heim – CLIE! COME WITH ME BEOFRE TOU DIE! WE ARE GOING TO BE FRIEND D AND YOU WILL EAT TACOS WITH ME AND SHIT AND STUFF SO COME ON CLIVE BEFORE THE AUTONS UFCKING MURDER YOU IN FRONT OF YOUR FAMILY!

Cilve was surprised and said – But I cannot just abadon my family!

The Doctor said – Well they will think you are dead soon anyway so we Abdon then and then they think you are ded like thay aee supposed to and then we goa nd eat fuckig tacos okay?

Cilive said – Otay.

Then they went and left and Cilve ndd the Doctoe ate tacos tofehte rnad the Doctor told Clive anbout the dfuture and said – So anyway LCive I found out rescentyl that one day soon I will have to rengerat einto a fuckin women and so I try to chanfe thar now so that ir woulndt happen and stuff and I am obn a quest to stop it. What do you think?

Clive said – Oh I think that s a good idea because a women doctoe is a fuckin bad idea because the doctor is man and always has been a men and will not work as a women and should also ever be a cat because a fucking cat doctor wouldn't work either. I hate that some people think that a goirl doctor is a good ide but I think I don't care too jand so I will help you with you e wuest if you want!

The Doctor said – Okay thank you but I d ontht uink I want to involve you tom uch. Because most people have been dying and I dot want my taco buddy to die again, okay Clive?

Clive said – Aw you are so wweeet doctor.

Then the Doctor and clie scooted closer tofether and Clive leaned in. The Doctor wasn't sure what to di but eventually psuehd clive badk and said – CLIVE I AM ALMOST SOON MARRIED! IA CANNOT CHEAT ON RAZ AND ALSO YOU ARE MARRIED AND ALSO I AM NOT GAU!

Then Clie asaid - Oh okay. We will just eat tacos some nore then, okay?

Then the Doctor said – Okay.

SO they ate tacos and whent hey were done the Doctor took clive in the TARDIS to his new home in space on the planet Metalbelis 2 and then he went back to the TARDIS qerre K-9 and Raz were sand said to himself – This is a good deay and I am happ y and I have an ew friend and that makss sme happy!

Then the Doctor went and had fuckin sax with Raz and stuff. And then… He contined his quest to never become a women.