Disclaimer: I own nothing
Izuku didn't sleep the night after the raid. It wasn't a night of tossing and turning he just only sleeps once a month. It used to be weekly but he's needed it less and less. He's undergone a couple more changes but the important thing is that he had all night to think. He really wanted to feel bad, he killed a lot of people last night. Almost five hundred. It's actually insane to think about how high his body count was now. One recurring thought that popped into his head was that he did the wrong thing. And as much as he tried he just couldn't agree with that. He was sure that when everything settled Aizawa would call him and yell at him. He might even stop trying to help him and just arrest him at that point. Izuku didn't think that would make him feel guilty either.
It wasn't that Izuku thought murder was okay for him. It's just that he didn't consider it murder. Sex traffickers aren't people. Murderers aren't people. Rapists, pedofiles, molesters, aren't people. So it's not murder. It's not a necessary evil either. Necessary evils don't exist, if it's necessary it's not evil and neither is he.
That's enough reflection for now. He'll have time for more when he visits Doc, which is what he's currently doing. He strolls up to Docs camp. Doc hasn't moved since Izuku laid him back here. Oh god no. Doc raises his head to look at him. Oh good, he's still alive. He looks awful though.
"Hey, Doc. You breathin' any easier?" asks Izuku.
Doc shakes his head no.
"Sorry to hear that." says Izuku.
"Me too." says Doc.
"Should you talk?" asks Izuku.
"I want to. I'm not sure how much longer I can." says Doc.
"I'll stick with you." says Izuku, Doc sounds awful too.
"Thank you." says Doc, geeze his voice is raspy.
"Whatcha wanna talk about?" asks Izuku.
"I'd like to be buried somewhere pretty. High up with a nice view. It doesn't need to be anywhere specific. Just face me to the sunrise and I'll be happy." says Doc.
"I've got a place in mind." says Izuku after a moment of thought.
"Thank you." says Doc before taking a break to get some air in his lungs.
"That guy you shot yesterday, who was he?" asks Izuku.
"An old friend… kinda. We ran together. You know about all that though." says Doc.
"Honestly we've never talked about it. I looked into you before we met but I never knew what happened to your gang." says Izuku.
"There's nothing to say. But that guy had it coming for what he did to me and mine." says Doc.
"Well I'm glad he got it." says Izuku.
Doc coughs out a little blood, "Me too."
The two fall into another silence only broken by Docs panting.
"What happened after you set me down. I heard shots." says Doc.
"I took Victor's gat, and shot the snakes." says Izuku.
"Damn I'm glad I turned my shit around before you got your hands on me." says Doc.
Izuku chuckles at that. It's good to laugh.
"Anything else happen?" asks Doc.
"I only killed the muscle. I let the kids go. Well actually I put em in prison but I didn't kill them. The leaders we caught are gonna get interrogated. We need names, locations, crimes. They know em better than anyone else and we have them." says Izuku.
"You gonna go easy on them if they're compliant?" asks Doc.
"Imma kill them either way. It's up to them how much it hurts." says Izuku.
"Harsh." says Doc.
"You think so?" asks Izuku.
"No honestly." says Doc, "Sometimes I still feel like I deserve to get killed."
"Hmm"
"Guess I won't have to wait too long for that though, will I?" says Doc.
"Probably not." says Izuku running a hand through his hair.
Another lull in the conversation. Docs breath gets a little worse.
"Why'd you push yourself so hard?" asks Izuku.
"Even though I knew it would kill me faster?" asks Doc.
"Yeah." replies Izuku.
"I don't know. I figured I'd squeeze the most out of what time I have left. Maybe I could've done more If I lived longer. That just didn't seem appealing to me though. Couldn't tell ya why." says Doc.
"You're a good man." says Izuku.
"No, I'm not." says Doc.
"Course you are." says Izuku.
"Just cause I was good to you doesn't mean I'm good." says Doc, "I think I'd know myself a little better than you do."
"You'd be surprised." says Izuku.
"Would I?" asks Doc.
"I think you would." says Izuku.
"Maybe." says Doc, "I still don't think my sins are the kind you can atone for."
"They're not. But you, right now are still a good person despite what you did. And you did a lot." says Izuku.
"If I hadn't become a vigilante. Would you have chased me?" asks Doc.
"Without a doubt. Probably woulda died trying knowing you. But half the people we work with are the kind of person I'd hunt if they weren't vigilantes. I'm not sure it's me genuinely believing in second chances or I just want their help. Either way I'm probably a hypocrite for it." says Izuku.
"Probably." says Doc before breaking into another coughing fit.
"Kid." says Doc.
"Hm." hums Izuku.
Doc hands Izuku his hat. Izuku'd never seen him without it. He'd never gotten a real good look at his eyes either. It was part of the way Doc wore it, he didn't want people to know where he was looking.
"Take it." says Doc.
Izuku doesn't say anything, he just puts it on his head.
Doc hands Izuku his revolver. Not actually his, the one Izuku lent him for the raid yesterday. The one he killed that guy with.
Once again Izuku takes it without saying anything.
Doc undoes his gun belt and hands it over. This time Izuku says something.
"I'm not taking that." says Izuku.
"Take it." says Doc.
"No." says Izuku.
"Why not?" asks Doc, "You took the hat."
"It's yours." says Izuku.
"The hat was mine." says Doc.
"You want it back?" says Izuku.
"You know that's not what I'm saying." says Doc.
"It doesn't feel right." says Izuku.
"I'm dying here. You're gonna make a dying man sad?" asks Doc.
Izuku sighs and takes it, "I'm sorry."
"It's fine." says Doc.
That's not what he meant.
Izuku was gonna respond but doc started coughing up blood. Izuku wasn't sure what to say anyways.
They continued like this for a while. With the breaks between talking Izuku's been there most of the day already. He stays there for another day. About that time Doc stopped breathing.
He was gone. It was weird. He knew this was coming. Everybody knew this was coming. This one hurt more than the ones he lost the day before though. Maybe it's because he watched this one happen. Maybe it's because he felt more anger than grief when they died. Izuku's not a psychologist he wouldn't know.
His phone rings. He really doesn't want to talk right now. If it's not someone important he's just gonna ignore it. It's aizawa. Should he answer? He doesn't want to. Whatever, let's just see what he wants.
"What's up?" asks Izuku.
"What's up? That's all you have to say?" asks Aizawa.
"Should I have more to say?" asks Izuku.
"Yes." grits out Aizawa.
"Did I do something wrong?" asks Izuku.
"I don't know, maybe the prisoners you killed." says Aizawa.
"Ohh them. I remember them. They kinda had it coming." says Izuku. ]
"Look I get it. I really do but you don't just get to decide how someone gets punished." says Aizawa, " I really do get it but breaking the law makes you like them."
"Not to be rude or anything but you're retarded. I'm not doing this to follow the law, I'm doing this because It's the right thing to do. Now as much as I love talking to you, I have to go bury Texas Red's body. He passed away about three minutes ago." says Izuku.
"I'm sorry for your loss." says Aizawa.
"Yeah, whatever. I'll call you back whenever. Probably not soon though. Bye." says Izuku before hanging up.
Izuku looks back over to Doc's Body. Now to get to burying him. High up, nice view, facing the sunrise. Izuku has an idea for it. He's gonna need permission but he's sure he'll get it.
About a half hour later, with the help of Kurogiri and with Ruby's permission. Izuku was burying Doc on Ruby's property. The one with the cabin. Izuku dug out a grave for him. Tied two pieces of wood together to make a cross and stuck it into the ground.
"A better man than he ever could have hoped to be", is what Izuku wrote on it.
He let people know what happened. He told Dabi and Toga he wouldn't be home tonight. He made sure the vigilantes knew Doc passed. He was going to arrange a funeral for him. The vigilantes didn't really know him. He kept his distance from people mostly. But he'd saved their lives a couple times. They'd want to pay their respects.
All that would have to wait for now though. Izuku's been putting off mourning. Always busy. He never thought he'd find himself too busy to feel.
This is how he finds himself on the cabin roof staring at the stars. He was a couple drinks in. Kinda painfully numb. But still numbingly pained. He was listening to 'should've been a cowboy'.
It was Doc's favorite song. He said it made him feel like he was living someone's dream even if it wasn't his own.
He managed to drink himself to sleep. Although his hangover didn't do him any favors. He shakes it off pretty quick though.
He should probably call Aizawa back. He was mad 'cause he was worried. Izuku wasn't sure he wanted to talk. Although he did want to argue. He wanted to scream his lungs out and call Aizawa a dumb ass. He shouldn't take it out on Aizawa like that but at the same time Aizawa shouldn't be such a dumb ass.
"Hello?" comes Aizawa's voice.
"Hey man." says Izuku.
"Oh. Hey. Are you alright?" asks Aizawa.
"Sure. I'm fine." says Izuku.
"Ok. If you need to talk I'm here." says Aizawa.
"We'll get to that. Where were we yesterday?" asks Izuku.
"That's what you want to talk about?" asks Aizawa.
"Yep." replies Izuku.
"Ok. I guess." says Aizawa.
"So I think you were saying. I shouldn't do my thing. Because the government and it's heroes do it. Right?" asks Izuku.
"Exactly. It's unlawful." says Aizawa.
"Well that's a stupid argument and here's why. It just doesn't work. Why doesn't it work? It doesn't work because with the increasing soft on crime mentality paired with quirks being brought into existence, forms of government all around the world are having trouble managing crime. Are you familiar with social contract?" asks Izuku.
"Yeah." replies Aizawa, "but the heroes are-"
"Shut up." says Izuku, "Social contract isn't being upheld on the government's end. We relinquish some freedoms in exchange for protection, and by extinction other freedoms. But we aren't being protected the way we used to be. Either A we need a new government, B we need no government as they can't control or protect people anymore, or C my personal favorite we educate and allow people on how to defend themselves from people who would take from them The government would support this or at the very fucking least decriminalize it. Anybody could be doing what I'm doing. The fact I have a small army of vigilantes backing me up further proves my point. The second these syndicates that have control of our courts, our police, politicians, and even heroes realize that all it takes is an average guy or gal or a group thereof to just fucking kill them they'll be shaking in their boots."
"Sure but-" starts Aizawa.
Izuku's having too good of a time to give Aizawa the stage right now, although he does hope that they get to have a fleshed out version of this argument later.
"I'm not finished." says Izuku, "If more people just said fuck it and killed their local villain we wouldn't have these fucking problems. We wouldn't even need to have this dumb ass conversation. I want people to realize that it doesn't take a government license or funding. All it takes is drive. And maybe a knife, gun or bat. Whatever you can get your hands on really."
"Jesus kid." says Aizawa.
"Yeah. I know. Hey listen man. Thanks for letting me rant like that I really needed it. If you want to actually debate this I'd love to just not now. I've got like thirty funerals I need to get to. It's gonna be one hell of a week." says Izuku, "So uh. I'll see you later. Bye."
Authors Note
The end of that chapter was actually super fun to write. The start was a nice melancholy which was enjoyable although I don't think fun is the write word. I feel I'm having the same problem I did with the last chapter where something felt too sudden. On one hand Doc's death was sudden in the chapter but it's been building up since he was introduced. It's probably alright although I'm not sure I spent enough time on it this chapter. The thought is that it's gonna hurt more in the chapters to come at unexpected times. Like the 'he would have loved this' thought that reminds Izuku he's never gonna see Doc again unless he dies and finds him.
Writing Izuku's societal theory was probably the highlight of the chapter for me. I'd like to go more into that later. I really do want Aizawa and Izuku to argue about that. Just showing a thought process is one thing but showing how one defends that thought process in an argument shows a side of it you wouldn't see otherwise, and it makes Izuku think about it. Which he already does. Not just thinking about it, but in the moment thinking about it and firing an answer back.
Here is the discord link.
/SqvXpA9
Kahjj: Cool. I was pretty worried about it. I think I'm doing more to justify after the fact than I did to explain before or during but I kinda like that.
I'm glad the pacing worked out well. I was more on board with that one but I was still a little worried.
Poor Doc is right. I actually came up with Docs idea a while before playing red dead, but red dead made me rework his whole character. His original quirk was just gonna be having really fast hands but red dead gave me the dead eye idea. I feel a little bad doing Doc like I did but I think I handled it well and if I didn't I can do more in future chapters.
Dragon fox 123: I'm glad you liked the chapter and the premise for the story. I just hope you find this. I have no idea what to do for comments on old chapters. I just put them here and hope you find them but I honestly have no idea how effective that is.
Argo Devilian: I've honestly never been big on description. It's nice and it sets a scene I guess, but whenever I find it in a book I just skim through it. I can't really force myself to read it and I sure can't force myself to write it. I try to let people imagine what they want to. I give more of a rough outline.
The comma thing is my fault though. That's not a writing style thing. I'm just not good at being grammatically correct. I didn't think anybody cared all that much but I guess it's something I could work on. And like I said in the comment above sorry about the fact you probably won't find this. Still have no idea on ways to respond to comments on old chapters.
Blood hunter 101: I'm glad you've like it so far. It's cool to hear. Well I gave him the invisibility but those other powers are cool. I think it's a little too late to add them but they are cool. I know I've wrote that he'll get stronger as he gets older so I could write him having them in the future. I think I prefer the mist one but I could do both.
I actually had a bit of fun reading this comment. Just because you predicted that he'd end up getting invisibility. I thought you'd like it when you found out.
And one more time I'm sorry this is so far ahead of where you commented. I don't know how to get the message to older comments.