Thank you for reading and sticking with the story. I hope your enjoying it. Thank you for being patient as I take a little longer with getting the new chapters out. This is just a busy time of year. Which I hope your all enjoying.

A seemingly endless stream of things happened one after the other with little time if any at all for anyone to take a breath. To think to much about what was happening. The wedding of a king, the crowning of a new queen not to mention the swearing in of a new knight were all important tasks that took a lot of planning and work behind the scenes in advance to be pulled off in such a way that they seemed to be effortless. When they were in fact anything but. In all of this boring, tedious work Arthur relied on Merlin more than he normally did.

Merlin kept him on track. Made sure that he did everything he had to, reminded him of the names of the visiting guests that he had forgotten. Made excuses for him when Arthur didn't want to see them. While the king could not train with the knights anymore, Merlin liaised with Leon to keep him updated. Most importantly, Merlin made sure that Arthur ate three meals a day and made sure that he at least didn't stay up much past night fall working, by always making sure that the candles in his chambers were small and ran out quickly. This was a trick Gwen had taught him years ago. She had used it when she was a maid to get Morgana to try and sleep more, but it never seemed to work. For all of this, the later few mostly, Merlin earned a warm smile of unspoken thanks form Gwen and the also unspoken respect of Arthur.

Two days after Merlin and Morgana had returned, on the first true day of spring Mordred was made an official knight of Camelot on the most widely attended ceremony of its kind that anyone had seen. The main hall was filled with the kings, queens lords and ladies of Albion. All of this while exciting meant little to the young man at the center of it all. There was only one person there in that great hall that he cared about being there and one person that he knew would not be there. While he had become close to his fellow knights, respected Arthur and Gwen. It was Morgana's presence, acceptance that he need, wanted. That gave him the courage to walk the full length of the imposing hall, with hundreds of judging eyes on him, to stand before king Arthur and vow loyalty to an ideal that he wished to live up too.

The witch in question had stood to the side and a few lairs back of the thrones on the raised platform that the king and future queen stood before. They had tried to convince Morgana to stand on the slightly raised platform with them but she shook her head and refused. Saying that it was not her place. Arthur would have explained that it was, but Gwen placed a hand on his back. Gently advising him to let the matter drop. He did as she advised. She was normally right in matters regarding things like this, feelings and emotions.

Mordred had searched out for her when he didn't see her standing before him with Arthur and Gwen. No one had had the heart to tell him before that Morgana would not be standing there. Seeing fear and hesitation flash across his eyes, they realized that in trying to spare him, they had ended up making the matter worse.

Morgana couldn't see his eyes from where she stood, but she noticed his hesitation as he entered the crowded room. Her heart lurched as she tried to step forward, but was unable to do so in such a crowed. She was about to start fighting her way through when Mordred seemed to rally himself and began to make his way trough the parting in the crowd. As Arthur's second in command Leon walked behind the young knight. Subtly placing a hand on his shoulder to offer encouragement. Morgana let out a sigh of relief. Before she had a chance to take in another breath, a strong pair of hands came down on her shoulders. Turing her round they pushed her forward till she came to the front line of the crowd. Catching Arthur's eye as she appeared through the crowd she did her best to seem irritated with the slightly smug look he wore. But she knew he had been right. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't hide in the crowd. Not when everyone already kept a eye on her regardless of where she stood. At the end of the day she would rather stand with her family than strangers.

For a moment she forgot the presence behind her. The one that had pushed her forwards to join her family. Turning round she looked up to see Lancelot looking over her head straight in front of him.

"Thank you."

She didn't know if he could hear her voice in his head. Assuming that he would be more open and less frightened and unnerved than most she gave it a try. She didn't see the reaction, her eyes now meeting Mordred as he reached the end of his long walk. He was just able to hold back the relieved smile that quickly spread across his face, which Morgana didn't hesitate in returning.

Arthur spoke in a loud and clear voice as he talked of the importance of the title of knight. The trust that was placed in them by the people that they vowed to protect. In a voice as loud and clear Mordred swore to live up to the expectations that were expected of him. Then the great crowd erupted into loud applause.

Before the significance of this could fully hit Camelot's newest knight he made his way swiftly over to Morgana. Who smiled a bright and wide smile as she opened her arms to hug him. As he accepted the hug he pulled her off the ground without meaning to. Lancelot clapped a hand on his few knights shoulder. Offering congratulations that were drowned out a little by the crowd.

In the confusion and celebration that followed Mordred scanned the room meeting peoples eyes for a second then moving on. Until his eyes met Merlin's cool blue eyes looking back at him over the crowd from the far side of the room. The older man didn't look at him with fear and disapproval. He looked at him with what could be called peace. As if he was offering a truce. While he had not gone out of his way to avoid Merlin in the time that he had been here, he had not gone out of his way ether to speak to him. If he was going to make a life here then he would have to deal with Merlin. That was if he did not choice to leave with Morgana. While he had been told of Morgana offer, that she may leave to rule Avalon. What Merlin would do had not been discussed. Mordred felt sure that the possibility of Merlin leaving too was on the table. Wanting this to truly be a new start, he gave a subtle nod which brought a smile to Merlin's face.

Merlin wanted this to be a new start as well. It seemed to be the season for it. What that meant for him he still didn't know. Watching his friends, his family now it was clear where they fitted. Where the next part of their lives was taking them. He wished he knew that for himself.

Morgana had her head turned at an angle away from him, but he could she how wide her smile was, how bright her eyes were. She was talking to Gwen while the other knights circles around their newest brother. Slapping him on the back, their version of a warm welcome. Morgana turned her head towards him as Gwen turned to her brother. Immediately he looked away before she could met his eyes. Leaving the hall to help the kitchen staff begin to bring up the trays of drinks for the crowd. It had only been for a second at most, but Morgana had noticed Merlin looking in her direction. She was not the only one.

While Mordred was quickly wrapped up in the cheering and excitement enjoyed it. It was not long before thought of Kara clouded his mind as they often did. He didn't doubt that he had made the right choice. Was where he needed to be. He missed her. Wished she was here, a part of all this. Maybe someday. Right now he would focus on building his life here. A life that she would want to be apart of, someday. Soon he hoped.

Before the chatter of the jubilant crowd could fully filter away the kitchen staff appeared carrying trays of wine, that the circulated around the hall. Then before they noticed again tables, that were very quickly filled with trays and platters of food were set up along the walls. It had been decided that this evening celebration would function as both a celebration and as the rehearsal for the wedding that was to take place the day after next. There was still a lot of work that had to be done tomorrow for the wedding, so having a celebration now made the most sense.

Merlin circled the room with a tray of drinks before Gwen noticed him. Taking the tray from him she told him that he didn't have to work tonight. He should enjoy himself. He did his best to do as he was told by his future queen, but his mind was still racing. Stopping him from being truly present in his own life right now. It felt like he was at a distance from everyone around him. That there was an invisible wall between him and the world. What made all of his worse, more frustrating was that he knew that he was doing it to himself. It was his indecision that was the cause. If he made a choice for his future then he knew he would feel present again. Right now it felt that he had his feet in two camps and therefore couldn't comment to either fully. He was only able to stay in the crowed hall for a few minutes after this before he had to leave to get some air. Clear his head.

As he walked along the dimly light corridor he could clearly hear the chatter and joyousness drifting out from the hall behind him. He focused on that hoping it might quit the racing of his mind. He was so focused that he didn't notice a hand reach out from the darkness of a doorway and grip his wrist. Pulling him into the darkness without any resistance.

"Do you not trust me."

He could make a clever retort that her practically jumping out at him in the darkness to speak to him in a dark corner were not actions that would inspire much trust. He didn't say anything like that though. The words stuck in his throat and all he could get out was a uninspired "what." Even in the darkness he could see Morgana unable to stop her eyes rolling at him.

"You've avoided me since we returned." She clarified.

Despite himself Merlin couldn't help his heart form beating a little faster. She had noticed him keeping his distance. "I don't know what you mean." He moved to leave not ready to speak to her yet, but she blocked his path.

"You have avoided me and I can only think that you do so because you don't trust me to rule Avalon. To not harm Camelot." She said as she tried to meet his eyes, get a better read of what he was thinking. He looked to the ground giving her another theory. "Or you wished to rule."

This got his attention. "They asked me who I thought should rule and I said you-"

"You did." Morgana asked cutting him off. Merlin nodded in answer.

He didn't give her a chance to say anything else. Suddenly he found his voice. "I think you are the right choice."

"That still doesn't explain-"

"I have a lot to think over. I've been busy. Kept my distance from everyone."

Morgana couldn't argue with that. They had all been busy and not had the chance to speak much to each other. Maybe she had read to much into it. But she felt sure that Merlin was deliberately avoiding her. That feeling made her doubt herself. Though she fought against it she could not help but return to the fact that she had been pre-judged to be evil. Cast to be the villain of their story and Merlin and Arthur the heroes. She did her best to trust her own instincts about what she believed was right, but when the world itself believed her to be intrinsically wrong it was hard to ignore the doubts. It was not something she would ever admit to, not even herself fully, but she did want, need Merlin to trust her so she could believe she was in the right. These feelings confused her because she knew all to well that Merlin was not always morally right, but it was how she felt.

"There is something else." Morgana stated feeling sure she was right.

She tried again to look him in the eye. Merlin looked away at first then realized that he could not continue to avoid talking to Morgana. So he met her eyes and tried to brush off her questioning. "Maybe I'll miss you." He tried to joke.

In the deafening silence that followed Merlin heard Morgana let out what could be called a slight gasp of shock. He was about to try and double down on the joke, make her believe that wasn't as true as it was.

Morgana found her voice before he could. "Your staying."

Merlin took what felt like a very long time to put the pieces together. Before he could allow himself to dwell on the fact that Morgana seemed to be a little disappointed at the idea that he would stay in Camelot, he answered as best as he could.

"I don't know." Then he realized what she said without saying it directly. "Your leaving."

Morgana herself seemed to be a little surprised by what she had said. "I don't know." She said with as much surprised as Merlin had.

He chewed over the words as they stood in the silent darkness. He may regret what he was going to say, but he knew he had to saw it.

"You have to do what is right for you." Morgana was about to interrupt, Merlin silenced her by placing his hands on her shoulders. "You have a place here and you have one there. You won't lose either by making a choice between them. I don't know what I'll do and I know your not sure either, but we have to make the choice that is right for us. Whether that is taking the next step alone."

"Or who you will miss." Morgana said trying to sound teasing and mocking, but didn't pull it off. She was still unsure what to make of his slip up.

The general chatter of the great hall grew louder as the door leading to it at the other end of the corridor was opened. Looking along the corridor they saw a small group of three servants making their way back to the kitchens with empty trays.

After they left their sight Morgana stepped out into the torch light of the corridor. Saying that she should return she was sure Arthur or Gwen would have noticed her absence by now. They seemed to be going to great lengths to make sure that she felt apart of the celebrations and events that were happening. It made her feel more accepted than she ever had here in her life. It also made the idea of leaving harder. Made her feel guilty for feeling such a pull to leave. With only a quick glance she left Merlin alone in the darkness to rejoin the celebration.

The warlock stood in the dark doorway for a few minutes. Not able to make himself move forward or backward.

So lost in his thought he was again did not notice the presence of someone close by. This time the hand that reached out for him came out of the light and landed on his shoulder. Turning to the dim light Merlin looked at the concerned face of Lancelot.

"Are you alright." He asked. Merlin nodded, but only faintly.

Lancelot did not to see his friends face clearly to see how conflicted he looked. He had seen Merlin looking across the crowd at Morgana after Mordred had taken his vow. He saw the look in his friends eyes. It was a look he was sure Merlin had seen him giving someone that he should have years ago. He knew what that look meant. What it could led to. Merlin had looked away so quickly when Morgana began to turn to him that Lancelot had no doubt what was going on.

"Do you want to talk." Was the knights next question.

Merlin scoffed a little. "I Wouldn't even know were to start."

"Perhaps with the lady Morgana." Lancelot tried to press as gently as he could.

A pained look drew across Merlin's face. He thought he had been good at not letting anything show. Though if anyone was going to see through him it would be Lancelot. So many words wanted to pour out of his mouth. So much he wanted to say. Most of it, just to say it. To get it out of his head. Only a few words made it out though.

"It doesn't matter."

It took Lancelot a pre-beat to understand what Merlin was saying. It didn't matter because she was the sister of a king. Because she would leave here soon and he would stay. Because she loved someone close to him. Most likely and deeply because he had once killed her. It had taken a long time but they had somehow managed to move past that. Something that not many other people could. Learned to trust each other, rely on each other. It was unlikely, but it was not impossible for their relationship to move forward still. At the least it did matter.

"It matters."

He tried to comfort Merlin. Who just shook his head.

"No, not in the great scheme of things. I just don't know how to...to be around her now."

Lancelot couldn't help but laugh. "After everything that has past between you two and now is when you are unsure how to act around her."

At first Merlin had been angry with his friends laughter. Of everyone he had expected Lancelot to be the most understanding and sympathetic. After all he knew what he was feeling. To feel more for someone than they did for you. To see them feel more for someone they also cared about. Then he couldn't help but see the humor of it all himself. It did make little sense that he was more nervous talking to Morgana now than he was when the last time they had spoken he had tried to kill her. His laughter soon filled the hall and Lancelot quickly joined in. Glad to see that Merlin still had his sense of humor.

There was still much that Lancelot wanted to say to his conflicted friend. He wanted to reassure him that it was possible to move past those feelings. To be truly happy for the one that did not return your feelings the way you wished they would. He even wanted to encourage his friend to speak with Morgana honestly. Tell him that there was always a chance. He knew nothing for sure until he spoke to her. But he didn't want to bring the atmosphere down so he dropped the matter. For now at least. So he informed Merlin of the reason that he had come looking for him in the first place. Arthur had been looking for him, wanting to speaking with him before the celebration grew further. With all the time Gaius had used him being at the tavern as a excuse for his absences it was no wonder the king believed that Merlin would be unable to have a coherent conversation with the free flowing ale on offer.

It did not take long for Merlin to catch sight of Arthur when he and Lancelot entered the great hall again. The king was talking with Morgana and a lord, whos name he could not remember now. Looking up the king made eye contact, gesturing with his head to the side door that laid to the anti room of the great hall. Excusing himself the king made his way there and Merlin followed suit.

Once in the only slightly quitter anti room Arthur turned to face Merlin as he closed the door behind him. Arthur didn't speak right away. Though a little annoyed Merlin remained quit and waited for Arthur to say what he had to. After a few seconds that felt longer he finally did.

"You have been a great help in the organizing of the last few days."

"Sire." Merlin said in way of acknowledgement.

Arthur carried on. "I could not have managed without you." He said avoiding looking directly at Merlin.

Merlin despite his conflicted mind could not help but enjoy seeing Arthur uncomfortable in thanking him and giving him praise.

"It was a honor." Merlin said sincerely. Choosing not to tease or make Arthur feel more uncomfortable. This maybe the only time he would get any direct recognition form the man. He wanted to enjoy it.

"I know Gwen is a sister to you."

"She is." Merlin agreed.

"I hope that you know...that I've made it clear. Not with words, but-"

"I know." Merlin cut him off, seeing how hard he was finding the words.

Arthur shook his head. "No I need to say it." he said as he closed the distance between them. Placing a hand on Merlin's shoulder. "I know that I rely on you, ask a lot of you." Merlin gave a slight nod. "That's because I know that I can always rely on you. You always tell me what I need to hear not always what I want to hear. If you didn't do that, then I don't think I would have been able to hear Gwen. That I was able to see how truly special she was after years of seeing her only on the periphery. Then I wouldn't be the man that gets to marry her in two days. I have you to thank for a lot of that."

"Arthur you made yourself the man that you are today. The man, king that inspires love and loyalty."

"When I'm married things are going to change." Merlin nodded again in agreement. "Including your duties." Merlin looked at his friend in confusion now. "There is no official title for it, but instead of bringing me my meals, polishing my armour and chores. You will add me in the paper work and organizing of the castle. As you have done the last few days."

Merlin was at a complete lose for words. He didn't know what to say. He had expected that his job here would never change. But here he was being given a promotion. No longer would he have to scrub armour and saddle horses. Chance Arthur around making sure he ate. He would now be able to advice Arthur in a more direct way. That would make his task of keeping him alive and guiding Camelot into a golden age so much easier.

Arthur squeezed Merlin's shoulder. "Thank you Merlin. You are a good friend. I'm know I can always count on you."

To Merlin's surprise Arthur lifted his other arm and step forward, hugging him. It took him a brief second to return the hug. He was in shock. If it was possible he was even more conflicted then he was before.

once again, thank your for reading and I hope you enjoyed it. I was unsure about the Arthur Merlin scene at the end. I've never been very good at writing their relationship, but I know that it important. So I hope it wasn't to cheesy and out of character.

As always any feedback, comments or ideas are very welcome.