When words aren't necessary
Shortly afterward the wedding celebration was in full swing. Almost all tables and chairs from the inn had been brought to the bay and were arranged to one big table where everybody found a seat at. We sat together like one family and waited excitedly for the suckling pig to get ready after Oliver had already hung it over the fire in the morning. In the meantime, our friends insisted on giving diverse gifts to Connor and me.
From his crew and Mr. Faulkner, Connor got a new telescope, so that he always found his way back home. From Prudence and Corrine, I got a leather-covered book in which they had written down different, detailed recipes for me so that I couldn't dodge cooking anymore and also couldn't do anything wrong. Apparently.
The carpenter Lance had built a rocking chair for us and Ellen and Maria had sewed a blanket out of rabbit fur which they had got from Myriam. But the most beautiful gift came from Caleb.
He had taken a slice of wood, that had still the bark and the visible annual rings on it and had lavishly incised our names into it. Connor's, mine, his, and even Cherry's.
"I wanted to thank you for letting us be with you", he explained sheepishly after I had speechlessly stroked over the wood. Tears of emotion rose into my eyes and I pulled the blonde boy into an embrace and he returned it immediately.
"You don't need to thank us", I said quietly, held him a bit away from me, and stroked over his cheek. "We're very happy that you are with us."
Connor reached out his hand, too, and tousled the boy's hair, which Caleb only allowed under protest. Nevertheless, I believed to see a suspicious shine in his eyes.
When the meal was finally ready, we all moved a bit closer together while everyone got their fair share of the meat and the side dished, which Corrine had freshly prepared. Even during the meal, there was much chattering and laughter and I asked myself if I had ever felt so comfortable among other people. I had been on many feasts in the past. Weddings, birthdays, baptisms, or feasts which had been given just because the organizer had felt like it. They all had had their charm but there had never been such a pleasant atmosphere and I couldn't do anything else but smile happily when I looked into the cheerful faces of our friends. Even Connor, who normally wasn't someone who enjoyed larger companies, wore a satisfied but reserved smile on his face.
After the meal, some of the sailors, who hadn't had too many glasses of whiskey, made their ways to their instruments, and shortly afterward, the bay was filled with cheerful sounds and the shouts of the settlers, that bride and groom should appear for the wedding dance. Grinning I glanced at Connor who only squinched up his face sorrowfully. I knew exactly that he could dance but it didn't belong to his favorite activities.
"One dance?" Questioningly I raised a finger and pushed my bottom lip forward in a begging manner. Connor's gaze wasn't very enthusiastic but finally, he sighed deeply, stood up, and grabbed my hand.
"One!", he emphasized as he led me to the free area close to the small band.
They began to play a waltz as Connor put his hand on my waist and we started to dance to the rhythm of the music. He was a good dancer, even though he and the other men had been more or less forced to learn it from the women in the homestead. But he was a quick learner, light-footed, controlled, and concentrated. The latter made him look more serious than it was necessary. Smirking I took my hand from his shoulder and ran my thumb over the corner of his mouth.
"It's our wedding, we are surrounded by our friends, had a good meal and now you're heaving the honor to dance with your newly-wedded wife. Do I get a smile at least? Just a tiny one?" I lifted my hand and held the thumb and index finger close to each other. The corners of Connor's mouth rose as he shook his head slightly.
"You are unbearable sometimes", he grumbled, what I just noted with a grin.
By now, other couples had come to the improvised dance floor and when the music changed, Connor stopped, laid both hands on my waist, and murmured: "Am I dismissed?"
I chuckled and hand in hand we went back to the table where we were stopped by Big Dave, Davenport's blacksmith.
"May I ask for the honor to dance with the bride?", he asked smirking and as soon as Connor had nodded, Dave had grabbed my hand and pulled me back to the dance floor. I laughed as he laid his large hand on my waist and began to whirl me around to the rhythm of a fast polka. Soon I noticed that a corset wasn't made for this kind of dance but I didn't care. We were several couples on the dance floor and over and over again the men changed their partner so that I regularly danced with someone else. It was a joyful company that quickly made me lose my breath. Sometime I could only apologize and gasping, I dragged myself back to Connor.
He sat silently at the table, his elbows propped up, the hands folded and placed against his lips while he listened to the conversation of Dr. White, Lance, and Father Timothy. When he saw me coming nearer, he loosened his posture and a warm smile appeared on his lips that made my heart skip a beat. Still breathless I sank on the chair next to him, grabbed my glass, filled it with fresh water, and emptied it in slow gulps. Slowly my breathing returned to normal again and I closed my eyes for a moment, as a cool breeze came from the sea. The sun was already setting and the former red sky got darker. The day drew to a close and I was almost sad about it.
A light pull at my hair made me open my eyes and I looked at Connor who was holding my veil in his hand, a smirk on his lips.
"You almost lost it."
I chuckled and took the delicate piece of lace that had decorated my head, but it didn't survive the polka. As well as my hairstyle, which had been done by Maria with so much effort. Some of the pinned strands had loosened and fell into my face so that I had been forced to push them behind my ear during the dance. Now they were a welcomed occupation for Connor who let them slide through his fingers, or pulled gently at them, only to watch in fascination, how they jumped back into their former, curly form.
"Do you enjoy yourself?", I asked and propped my head onto my hand while I watched Connor's playing around. But he didn't let himself be swayed but just smirked without stopping his activity. I clicked my tongue, grabbed his hand, stood up, and pulled him onto his feet. He looked at me in confusion but I just led him away from the table, past our dancing friends, over the landing stage, and onto the Aquila, where I sat down on the stairs to the wheel and pulled him next to me.
Instantly he wrapped an arm around me and I leaned my head against his shoulder. We were surrounded by a wonderful silence because the music and voices were only a quiet sound in the background, drowned out by the gentle roaring of the sea that lightly rocked the ship back and forth.
"Do you not want to be with the others?", Connor murmured into my hair but I shook my head.
"I thought we could allow ourselves a break." I knew that Connor liked to be reserved in company and maybe even didn't enjoy them. Since I had also felt the need to have a break, I had brought him here. Away from the others but still close enough to go back again, if we felt like it. Right now I just wanted to enjoy his closeness and I sighed quietly as he pulled me closer and I could wrap my arms around his torso. With the disappearance of the sun, the air had become cooler but in Connor's arms, it was still pleasantly warm.
"Was everything like you imagined it?"
Connor's question made me frown shortly. "Yes, but what about you?" I raised my head to look at him. "It isn't only my wedding after all."
Connor's hand stroked over my cheek and played with one of my curls before he said: "The only thing I needed for this day sits right next to me and looks at me as if she is expecting something bad."
Motionless I stared at him before I chuckled and lowered my eyes, almost embarrassed. Basically, I couldn't have expected a different answer. Connor hadn't been very demanding about our wedding, except for the ceremony itself.
Gently I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer for a kiss. Connor buried his right hand into my hair while the left rested on my back. Suddenly I felt a prickle that spread through my whole body and that I had never felt before. It sent a shiver down my spine, especially as Connor's hand disappeared from my hair and his fingertips brushed over my nape, my neck, and finally my collar bone. I sighed against his lips and had to break the kiss to calm my fickle breathing. Connor leaned his forehead against my mine, totally calm but I thought that his breathing was heavier than before, too.
"Shall we go?", I asked quietly and felt how I blushed. In the faint light of the lamp next to the cabin's door, his face lay partly in the shadows but I saw the short insecurity in his eyes. But it quickly disappeared again and when he stood up, he pulled me gently onto my feet. Silently we intertwined our fingers and left the Aquila. In the meantime, most of the settlers had sat down again, chattered, laughed, and drank. We stayed at a distance from their company when we headed towards the manor and I didn't know if they even noticed that we were leaving. But after all, it was on the groom and the bride to decide when they wanted to leave their wedding and so I wasn't concerned about the etiquette. I also didn't need to worry about Caleb because he would go with Terry, Diana, and their son today. So Connor and I were undisturbed.
When we reached the house, I instantly wanted to go upstairs but Connor held me back.
"Would you mind, if I..." He hesitated and looked at some spot on the wall, over my shoulder.
"...if I go downstairs. I want to...put the weapons away."
Confused I frowned while he still couldn't look at me. Was he nervous or didn't he want to...? I was insecure but nodded hesitantly.
"No, do it", I said my voice nothing more than a whisper. I stayed where I was as Connor went down the hallway and I heard the basement's door and his steps on the stairs shortly afterward.
Slowly I climbed upstairs and as I went into the bedroom, I instantly sat down at the washstand. My hands folded in my lap, I looked into my eyes through the mirror and tried to hold back the nervousness that was spreading inside of me. I didn't even know if it was an anxious or cheerful kind of nervousness. It was just there because Connor's reaction had completely unsettled me. When I had lain in his arms, I had felt the desire to be finally alone with him. But did he want it, too?
I took a deep breath before I began to loosen the pins from my hair with shaking hands. I took more time with that than it was necessary but I needed something to occupy myself. When I had freed my hair from every kind of jewelry, I grabbed the brush and pulled it through my curls with slow movements. I felt how I became a bit calmer at least but it ended abruptly when I heard Connor's steps on the staircase.
They were slow as if he was delaying his way here and they completely died away for a moment, as he reached the closed door. I stopped brushing my hair and listened into the silence, thinking that he certainly could hear my heartbeat. The door opened agonizingly slow and Connor stepped in. He had taken off his bracer and coat, his gaze slid over my loose hair and finally stopped on my face. I put the brush back onto the washstand, stood up, and approached him, without taking my eyes away from his.
As I stopped in front of Connor, I took his hands into mine, stretched, and kissed him tenderly. It was also a careful kiss as if our lips were meeting for the first time. But it brought back this feeling that had left me minutes ago. The insecurity was still there, but the nervousness was almost entirely gone.
"I love you, Connor", I whispered against his lips and a smile flitted across his face.
"I love you, too, Lillian." He freed his hands from my grip and laid them on my waist, pulled me closer and we kissed again. But this time the kiss was less cautious. It was more sensual, demanding and a sigh escaped me as Connor broke the kiss and his lips brushed over my cheek, my chin and finally the crook of my neck. With closed eyes, I leaned my head aside when he stroked my hair from my shoulders and kissed gently along my neck. All of his touches called back this prickle, I had felt on the Aquila, but this time it was much stronger.
While Connor was caressing my neck, I let my hands roam over his chest and began to open his shirt. Slowly, button after button. I was surprised how calm and determined my hands were because my eyes were still closed. But I opened them as I pushed the shirt from Connor's shoulders and he pulled away from me. His breathing was irregular, almost trembling, as I placed my hands onto his bare chest and ran my fingertips carefully over his bronze-colored skin. It wasn't the first time that I was touching him, but it was the first time that I did it without hesitation. My fingertips felt every centimeter of his skin, every muscle group, from his arm, to his shoulders, over the chest, and finally his belly. Connor stood motionless, his eyes closed. But he took a hissing breath when my hand stopped over the uneven scar on his right side. A wooden stake had bored into his flesh some years ago. It had happened when he had chased a Templar called Charles Lee through a scaffolding that had collapsed. The wound had taken a lot of time to heal and the scar proved that.
Connor grabbed my wrist. "Please not, Lillian. You do not have to do this to yourself", he said in a husky voice but I shook my head with determination.
"These scars belong to you. Each one of them. This one..." I freed my hand from his grip and touched the scar on his side again. "...and these..." My fingers brushed the different small scars on his torso. "...and also these." Now my hand had moved to his back and I stroked lightly over the four bumps which weren't this old. Four strokes with a whip, only because a Templar had wanted to know from Connor, where a particular Piece of Eden was and the resulting injuries had almost caused Connor's death by a fever.
"They all belong to you and I love everything about you."
Silently Connor looked deeply into my eyes before he pulled me against him again and caught my lips in a passionate kiss. He buried his hand into my hair while the other slid over my side. Obviously searching for a way to open my dress and I had to chuckle as he uttered a frustrated growl when he didn't find it.
"Welcome to the complicated world of a lady", I said laughing and led his hands to my waist, where the robe of my dress was pinned at the bodice. I noticed in amusement, how confused he was to feel the small metal stays which held everything in place. I assisted him with loosening them, took off the robe, and loosened the bodice that was pinned at the corset. Connor found and loosened the laces of the skirt on his own but his eyebrows arched as he saw, that I was wearing another skirt and a crinoline beneath it.
"Why...that must last an eternity to put all these on." He reached out his hand and stroked over the bracings of the crinoline. "Is it not uncomfortable?"
I shrugged my shoulders. "You get used to it" I smirked and took off the crinoline and its overskirt. I only wore my shift and the corset beneath it and that seemed to be a relief to Connor. I laughed inwardly. To unwrap me obviously wasn't as easy as he had hoped it would be.
At least he smirked as he noticed my amused gaze and pulled me closer to kiss me again. I totally lost myself in the kiss and uttered a surprised gasp, when the tightness of the corset vanished all of the sudden and Connor pulled it from my body to drop it to the floor. How had he...?
He didn't give me the opportunity to think further because he lifted me onto his arms without warning and carried me to the bed where he laid me down gently. My heart fell into an irregular rhythm as he bent over me and covered my neck with kisses as he had done before. Agonizingly slow, his lips made their way from the hollow underneath my ear to my shoulders, my collar bone, and finally to my décolleté, while his hands ran over my sides to my hips.
Even though my breathing wasn't under my control anymore, I enjoyed it and was almost disappointed when he lifted his head again and looked into my eyes. His gaze was insecure.
"May I?", he asked and I understood what he meant by it. He wanted to know if he was allowed to free me from my last piece of clothing. My insecurity came back but I nodded shakily.
Connor's lips gently returned to mine as he pushed the skirt of my shift up and pulled it over my head with my assistance. I was now lying in front of him like God had made me and all my sense of shame came back in an instant, together with the fear that he could dislike what he saw. But instead of sitting up to look me over, as I had almost expected it, Connor just stayed and kept looking into my eyes. A loving smile appeared on his lips when he noticed my fear. He bent down and leaned his forehead against mine.
"Lillian, I have to confess something to you", he said quietly and I blinked in confusion. What was that about?
"Lillian, I...have never been with a woman before."
He lifted his head and looked at me as if he wanted to catch my reaction. I was surprised at first.
"But why?"
Connor chuckled. "You know me. I do not let anyone come closer to me and there has never been a woman who made me feel such a desire."
He grabbed one of my strands of hair and let it slide through his fingers, while he was still looking at me. I didn't need to ask for a reason when I saw the love in his eyes. There had never been a woman, except for me. This thought made my heart beat faster. It was a feeling of happiness that was driving away all the fear and shame. I smiled and caressed his cheek.
"So that comes to your mind when I'm lying naked in front of you?"
He smirked. "It needed to be said."
"Can we stop talking then?"
Another chuckle before his lips met mine again. We lost ourselves in a passionate kiss while Connor let his hand roam over my neck, follow my collar bone, and finally laid it carefully and gently over my breast. I gasped with the touch and the gasp became a quiet moan, as Connor replaced his hand with his lips and caressed the sensitive peak of my breast. He stopped for a moment after my reaction but then his fingers brushed one breast while his lips touched the other again.
I hadn't expected that he could cause such emotions inside of me with it. A prickle that spread everywhere, quickened my breath, and made me close my eyes in pleasure at the same time. Connor's hands brushed my breasts for the last time before his lips wandered further down my body. They stroked over the sensitive skin of my belly and I took a deep breath as they kissed the fine scar over my navel. The memory of the fact that I hadn't been allowed to experience this. I would have died of a bullet wound if Connor hadn't saved me with a Piece of Eden, the Shroud. That was the only reason why I was allowed to enjoy his tender touches now, which moved up my belly and finally stopped at my lips.
Now I was the one who let her hands roam. But I had a certain aim. With my fingertips, I brushed along the waistband of his trousers and coaxed a quiet moan of him with this touch alone. One gaze, a gentle kiss, and Connor took off the last piece of his clothing. His hands slid to my hips and he pulled away from my lips.
"Will I hurt you?", he asked in a husky voice.
I nodded slowly. "But it will be alright."
I buried my hands in his nape and pulled him down for a kiss. But this kiss was soon over, as Connor entered me carefully. A short, sharp pain made me wince and I bit onto my lip to suppress a gasp. I tensed unintentionally and Connor stayed motionless, his worried gaze directed at my face. Trembling I breathed in and tried to relax. The pain was already gone and had given way to an unfamiliar but not unpleasant feeling.
I caught Connor's gaze and smiled before I wrapped my legs around his hip and made him lower his pelvis. We both moaned and my hands wandered from Connor's nape to his back, as he began to move slowly. He was careful as if he was afraid of hurting me again, but he didn't.
As I began to move with him and we found a mutual rhythm, it simply was an indescribable feeling. To feel him, his skin on mine, and under my fingertips. His hands stroking along my hips. His lips caressing my neck and the way he was looking at me from time to time. Shrouded by his desire but full of love at the same time. All these different feelings gathered to one single stream of emotions that flowed through me after a short time. My quiet scream was muffled by Connor's lips before he also found his release with a guttural moan.
We remained in a tight embrace and enjoyed this feeling of closeness and affection which we certainly didn't feel for the last time tonight.