Quite a short chapter this time, but there isn´t much plot in it. But it wasn´t necessary anyway. ;) Please check the end of the chapter for notes.

Reviews:

MohawkWoman: Unfortunately you´re right with that. She really got herself into trouble and who knows how this is going to end... ^^

The greatest news

The following days and weeks passed amazingly calmly. Only one time, Ray and his men got into the centre of our attention, as Connor travelled to Boston to talk to his assassin brothers. During his absence I had been on tenterhooks because I feared that my trip and the true reason for my injured hand were going to be revealed now. But I was luckier than I deserved it. When Connor returned, he told me with a frown that Janet Pierce had appeared in Boston and had met Ray with Duncan. But his men didn´t tell him about her injury and appearance so that Connor didn´t even got the idea that I could have passed myself off as the assassin.
To pretend that I was likewise confused and surprised about Janet´s alleged appearance, was incredibly painful. I felt bad but I still didn´t want Connor to know what I had done. Ray himself hadn´t been in the city anymore and for now the assassins had decided to wait. So Connor had turned towards other things. The daily life in the homestead, his duties as the captain of the Aquila and smaller events in the nearer environment which required his attention. The gang got more and more into the back of our minds and even I eventually managed it, to stop thinking about my brother all the time. Not least because I could turn towards other things and soon I also had more important things on my mind.

My encounter with Ray in the fort was about seven weeks ago. It was mid October, autumn had arrived long since and the homestead began to prepare for the cold months. Last harvests were brought in, the supplies were restocked, firewood was chopped and the houses and stables got winterized. There was a lot of work to be done, but I still had to be satisfied with idleness because my hand wasn´t entirely healed yet. I was still wearing the bandage and the splint, but at least I didn´t feel any pain when I moved it, which Dr. White said was a good sign that it was on the best way to heal. Nevertheless I wasn´t allowed to move and strain it too much and so I only turned towards small tasks and gave most of the others to Caleb, who was helping me without protest. The time on sea hadn´t made him as calm as I had hoped, but he wasn´t as restless as before. I was proud of his development and also of how he helped not only me but also the other settlers.
So I had less worries about him and could "concentrate on my recover", as I heard it all the time. But apart from my hand, my physical condition hadn´t got really better. I still felt sick and dizzy from time to time. Of course my sudden feelings of faintness hadn´t escaped Connor´s notice and as I had confessed to him that I was feeling like that for long already, he had almost dragged me to Dr. White. But I had successfully convinced him, as well as myself, that the stress of the last weeks and the injury were responsible for my condition and that it would certainly get better. But eventually I began to doubt that this improvement was really possible.

When I woke up one morning and instantly had to struggle against a wave of nausea, the voice in my head, saying that this permanent sickness couldn´t be normal anymore, began to become louder. But I didn´t feel really weak or ill, in the contrary. Beside that I felt good and the nausea vanished quickly again so that I stood up and went to the closet to get dressed. But when I had slipped out of my nightgown and wanted to take my shift, I paused. Following an uncertain impulse, I took a step to the side and looked at my naked body in the mirror. After I had already noticed weeks ago, that my waist was gone, I hadn´t had a look into the mirror anymore. At least not undressed. Back then I had thought that I just had gained weight because of the ordered rest. But when I now turned sideward and looked at my belly, I had to gulp as I noticed the slight bulge. It was small, not noticeable from the front and neither when I was wearing clothes. You could think that I just had had a good appetite during my last meal but because I had already felt sick last night, I knew that this wasn´t the case. But the question was: Had this bulge grown over the last days or was it just...temporary?

"Damn it", I murmured and stroked briefly over my belly with my fingertips. Nudged lightly against it, as if the bulge would disappear like that, but of course it didn´t. I bit my bottom lip, before I took a deep breath and looked into my own eyes.
"Relax. No need to worry."
"What kind of worry?"
I uttered a quiet, appalled scream as Connor´s voice sounded from the door and whirled around. Why the hell was he always sneaking like that? In one moment you thought you were alone and in the next moment he was already standing behind you.
"Aren´t you able to knock?", I asked, sharper than it was necessary. Connor raised an eyebrow.
"I am sorry", he said slowly. "I thought you were still asleep. Do you need help?"
"With what?"
Connor smirked. "With getting dressed, for example."
I blinked and looked down at me in confusion, before I blushed. I was standing entirely naked in our room in front of the mirror and snapped at him for interrupting my monologue. As if he hadn´t seen me naked once...
Nevertheless I gave him a great credit for looking straight into my eyes, even though it seemed that he found this situation very amusing.

I cleared my throat, made a large step back to the closet and slipped into my shift. "You could help me with the laces."
"That was what I thought." Connor stepped to me and waited until I had slipped into my stockings and the skirt. He stepped behind me, laced up the skirt and grabbed my bodice which he put around me and laced it up with skilled fingers. Over the last weeks he had helped me with getting dressed almost every day and by now I was sure that he was now able to close a bodice as fast as he could open it. Nevertheless I still found it somehow uncomfortable that he had to help me at all. I always felt as helpless as a little child.
"I´m glad when I can do this on my own again", I murmured after I had sat on the chair at the washstand and watched Connor putting my boots on me and lacing them up.
"I believe that", he said. "But until then, stick to what the doctor has told you. Do not move the hand unnecessarily."
"I do. I have my personal dressing-assistant after all." I grinned widely and when Connor raised his eyes, I saw a mischievous sparkle in them.
"Dressing and Undressing-assistant, please."
I laughed. "Excuse me. Of course also an undressing-assistant who is doing his job very good, by the way."
"I am slowly getting practised in it", Connor smirked, offered me his hand, helped me up and finally into my jacket.

Afterwards he pulled me into his arms and stroked one of my strands of hair behind my ear.
"How are you anyway?", he asked quietly and repeated another ritual of the past weeks. I knew that he wanted know if I was feeling sick or dizzy but luckily I didn´t right now.
"I am fine", I said smiling and suppressed my recent tension. "But I have to go to the inn. Some women and I want to make autumn-arrangements."
I really saw Connor´s interest fading. No matter how attentive he was, when it was about some women-topics, he released himself like every other man. I smirked while he slowly nodded.
"Well then." He pressed a kiss to my forehead and freed me from his embrace.
We went downstairs but I bid farewell to him at the front door and walked alone to the homestead. On my way to the inn, my thoughts wandered back to my reflection and I caught myself laying my hand on my belly. A vague supposition had seized my mind, but I didn´t want to accept it yet. I wanted to talk to somebody about it first but I didn´t know with whom. Prudence? Diana? Catherine? Or Maria, who was basically as inexperienced as I? I sighed deeply.

When I entered the inn, I saw some men of the homestead and sailors sitting at the tables and eating their breakfast. I greeted friendly, was likewise greeted and went into the back corner of the dining area, where tables were pushed together and were already surrounded by some ladies. Ellen, Prudence, Diana and Maria, who greeted me warmly and indicated to me that I should take a seat. They had prepared some tools, ribbons, grass, flowers and cornstalks, with which we wanted to make decorations for the houses and the church for the harvest festival. We started this task full of vim and vigour, while we were lovingly supplied with tea by Corrine. Although I couldn´t do more than holding something from time to time, I enjoyed the women´s company. Basically we were entirely different from each other, but nevertheless we could have lively chats and laughs. Something that had been barely possible with the British ladies, or rather it had always been a bit stiff. Nobody tried to push herself to the fore and everybody was able to tell about news in her family without being interrupted. I felt very comfortable in this company. At least until the moment when my stomach contracted all of the sudden and I felt terribly sick.

I groaned quietly and pressed a hand against my belly, which of course didn´t stay unnoticed.
"Lillian? What is it?", asked Ellen who was sitting next to me but I had already leaped to my feet and ran towards the door. I had barely got outside and had made a few steps away from the door, when I had to support myself with the house wall and vomited the little I had eaten today into Corrine´s thoroughly laid out flowerbed. But as if this wasn't enough, I was seized by dizziness and had to close my eyes for a moment, when my vision blurred.
"You´re kidding." The whole time sickness and dizziness had been bearable but now they were increasing all of the sudden. If my body wanted to tell me something, it was literally screaming right now.
"Lillian?", I heard Maria´s worried voice behind me and I ran my hand over my mouth.
"I´m better now", I murmured and strangely enough, I really didn´t feel sick anymore. Only my circulation was trying to bring me to my knees. I straightened up shakily and wanted to go back to the inn, but my legs refused and I would have fallen down, if Maria hadn´t supported me in time.
"Damn it, Lillian!", she swore and led me into the house where I was looked over in concern by everybody. I was embarrassed about my collapse in front of a bunch of people and I wanted to square my shoulders and make clear that I felt better than I looked.

But I was relieved when Maria, leaded by Corrine, brought me upstairs into one of the guestrooms where she helped me to lie down on the bed. I uttered a quiet groan as I closed my eyes and felt how my circulation started to calm down again. Maria had heaved my legs onto the bed and adjusted the pillow under my head.
"Are you still feeling so sick?", she asked and I nodded with closed eyes. Lying to her that I was feeling well, seemed to be a bit unnecessary.
"But I guess I know the reason now", I said in a hoarse voice but without opening my eyes. So I could only hear how somebody entered the room and shortly afterwards, Diana´s voice sounded next to me.
"Here, you need to drink something", she said and when I opened my eyes, she was holding a cup out to me, which was spreading a heavy herbal scent. I sat up slowly, took the cup and had a few sips of the bitter tea that was just lukewarm. But I was glad to get rid of this disgusting taste in my mouth.
"Thank you. I´m better now", I said and pushed the cup into Maria´s hands, who was standing silently beside the bed and looked at me as if I was dying. Diana looked me over while I sat up entirely and looked at her a bit uneasily. I had to talk about my guess with somebody and who else was the right person but a woman who was a mother and furthermore the assistant of a doctor?

"To be honest, I´m feeling unwell once in a while for some time already", I began slowly and kneaded my hands. "I always thought that it is because had so much stress while I was alone, but now Caleb and Connor are back and it didn´t got better since then. Furthermore I have the feeling that my body is getting out of...shape. I´m not sure anymore that all of this only has to with my injury. Do you know what I mean?"
Diana looked at me silently for a moment before a wide smile appeared on her lips. "I think I do." She sat down on the edge of the bed and lowered her voice a bit as she leaned towards me. "Do you still know when you have been with Connor for the last time?"
Her question surprised me and shortly I hoped that she didn´t mean it like I thought she did. But certainly it was quite unlikely that Diana was asking me about our conversation this morning.
"Well...it´s already a bit long ago. He wasn´t here for a long time...maybe about two months ago."
Diana nodded smiling. "Well, so you should check again."
"Check...? Oh..." I hadn´t thought about that. Why hadn´t this come to my mind earlier? Probably because my menstruation was so irregular that I used to be almost surprised when it began. But why hadn´t I thought about it anyway? I was feeling sick for two months after all.
"Oh, damn it", I murmured and covered my face with my healthy hand. Diana chuckled and patted my knee.
"Never mind", she said. "I also didn´t think about it for a long time and when I was feeling sick, I thought that I just hadn´t cope with something in the food. But when the skirts began to get tighter, I felt just like you do now. Furthermore I...felt it somehow. It was a guess I had."
I nodded slowly because I knew what she meant. I lowered my hand and stared at it silently for a while and tried to order my thoughts.

Diana sat in front of me smiling while Maria obviously seemed to assimilate our recent conversation. But she didn´t manage it as silent as I did. After she had put Diana´s and my words together, she gasped and put the cup onto the bedside table in a jerk. "Did I get it right?", she asked excited and looked at me with shining eyes. "Sickness for two months. Checking again. Tighter clothes. Lillian, are you...?"
I paused shortly but nodded finally. "I think so." Actually I was quite sure. Apart from the signs, it was just a certain feeling I had. Like Diana had described it.
Maria uttered a joyful squeal like I had never heard it from her before. She really beamed and threw her arms around my neck.
"Oh God. I´m so glad for you." She looked into my eyes and I smirked as I saw the excitement in hers.
"That´s so wonderful. You know...I will go to Connor and bring him here!"
My smile vanished and totally dumfounded I stared after Maria, who had quickly disappeared through the door.
"But...", I started and just wanted to stand up to follow her, but Diana laid a hand on my shoulder.
"Stay here. I will go after her and take care that you can tell it Connor on your own." She smirked and after I had thanked her, she followed Maria quickly.
I stayed behind alone. Alone with my racing thoughts and feelings, which were a mixture of endless joy, uncertainty and nervousness. If my feeling didn´t fail me, it would mean that there was going to be a lot of changes. Fundamental changes. Not only for me but also for Connor and even for Caleb. I didn´t know yet, how this changes are going to be like. I had no imagination of it, but with a smile it became aware to me that these changes wouldn´t be bad. In the contrary.

As I heard steps on the floor and Maria´s excited voice after a while, my heart began to beat faster. Especially when Connor appeared in the doorframe, being pushed over the threshold by Maria with a confused expression.
"I didn´t say anything", she told me with a wide smile. "You can do that now." She winked at me and closed the door behind herself, so that Connor and I were alone in the room. He seemed like he didn´t know what to think about all this and I didn´t want to imagine how Maria had taken him by surprise. He pointed at the door while he approached the bed and looked me over.
"Maria said that you want to tell me something. I heard that you were not feeling well. What is it? Did something happen? Are you ill?"
"No, everything is fine", I said and gave him a reassuring smile. As I reached out my hand for him, he took it hesitantly, scrutinizing my face while I made him sit on the edge of the bed. "But I really have to tell you something."
Connor nodded and for a short moment, I couldn´t see any emotion on his face and it made me even more nervous than I already was. But I decided not to talk too much.
"I´m pregnant."

Silence. Connor´s expression was still motionless while he said there as stiff as a poker and shortly I thought that he hadn´t understood me. Or he had got something wrong and thought that I was going to explain it to him. But as I didn´t say anything more and looked at him expectantly, life came back to him. He blinked several times, opened his mouth and closed it again. Then he shortly cocked his head, before he made a new attempt to say something.
"What did you say?", he asked and leaned a bit forward, as if he expected that he could hear me better like that. I smirked.
"I said: I´m pregnant."
Connor leaned back again and stared at me as if I was a ghost. The confusion on his face was obvious and I could literally see his mind working.
"But...how? Why...?", he stammered and for the first time since I knew him, I saw him taken aback and I couldn´t stop myself. I laughed.
"How and why? These are the first questions you´re asking?" A cheeky grin flitted across my face. "Well, first there are the bees and the flowers..."
"Yes, yes. Alright." Connor raised a hand and smiled faintly. "I did not mean it like that. I was just...surprised." He moved a bit closer, squeezed my hand lightly and looked into my eyes.
"Are you sure?"
I nodded and a bright smile appeared on my lips. "We´re having a child. You´re becoming a father."
While I said this, I became entirely sure. I just felt it and saying it, was an incredible feeling. Indescribable joy, spreading in my whole body and reaching its climax as I saw Connor´s final reaction to this news. A smile appeared on his lips like I had never seen it before. It radiated pure joy, together with a warmth that caused a pleasant feeling in my belly. I didn´t need to ask if he was happy. It was obvious.
"This is the greatest news you could have told me", he said, wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer. I leaned my forehead against his and we silently sat there for a moment, enjoyed the closeness of each other and the happiness we were sharing. This morning I had felt uneasiness as it had come to my mind that I could be pregnant. I hadn´t known how to deal with this thought because I neither had known how Connor would react, if this was the case. I hadn´t expected that he wouldn´t take this news well, but to be certain of it at last was a relief. We could look forward to this new chapter in our lives together and overcome and wait for the changes it would bring.

"Is it the reason why you have not been well recently?", Connor asked and I nodded.
"But now that I know the reason, it is easier to bear it."
Connor nodded smirking and put his lips to my forehead, before he moved a bit away from me and looked me over again. "Are you reasonably feeling better now?"
When I nodded again, his expression brightened again and he helped me up. "Then I will bring you home, as long as this is the case." He intertwined his fingers with mine, but when he approached the door, I squinched up my face.
"Can we leave through the window?", I asked and Connor looked at me with raised eyebrows.
"Why?"
"Just a feeling."
I had remembered how excited Maria had been and I was almost sure that she was on tenterhooks down in the dining area and waited for us. I wasn´t wrong. As we came downstairs, Maria leaped up from her chair and beamed at us. But luckily she had kept the news to herself. As well as Diana. So the two of them were the only ones who smiled at us, while the other ladies were more concerned. But it wasn´t surprising. After all they didn´t know that I often had felt sick and had only seen my collapse today. Corrine came to me and put a hand on my shoulder.
"Darling, have a rest at home, do you hear me?"
I nodded smiling. "I will. Don´t worry."
The innkeeper pulled me into a short embrace, before she looked at Connor and raised her index finger in an almost warning manner. "If you don´t bring her to the doctor, when she´s feeling worse again, you should keep out of my sight."
Connor smirked. "Do not worry, Corrine. I will take of her", he said and as he squeezed my hand lightly with that, I was quite sure that he wasn´t talking only about me.

Notes:

While writing this chapter, I didn´t know if the connection between the missig menstruation and a possible pregnancy was known back then. It is very difficult to learn something about pregnancy and its medical relevance in the 18th century. But some of the German readers had some information about it. Of course the medics of this time were mostly men and they weren´t interested in the female physique and for a long time, the menstruation was believed to be something dirty and even something evil. So of course there were no studies about it. But I guess that the women knew their bodies and noticed the connection between certain processes on their own and they certainly passed this knowledge on to their daughters or whatever. After all the job of a midwife is very old already, too and in the end of the 18th century there were even the first schools for midwifes. So there had to be some knowledge. And I guess if Lillian would have felt sick for some more weeks without coming to the right conclusion, it would have been a bit strange. ;)