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A/n, hello, everyone. I hope you enjoy part one of a two-part work dealing with the direct aftermath of season fourteen's last episode. "Truth or Dare."

Lies

The flight back to DC seemed to take forever. JJ sat near one circular window but couldn't see past the midnight sky pressing against it. There were no stars, nothing but the reflection of her face. She thought about tugging down the shade and sleeping, but she knew sleep wouldn't come. She felt too keyed up to close her eyes and fall into slumber.

Rossi sat at the back of the jet and murmured into his cell phone. Luke and Matt were playing poker with Tara and Emily. They quietly argued over their last hand and then decided to play another game so Tara could try to win back her losses.

"Guess I'm a better liar than you thought."

JJ closed her eyes as the memory of their poker game sounded in her head. Why had she said those words?

Fate!

JJ opened her eyes and briefly shook her head in denial. There's no such thing as fate. Believing in pre-determined destiny meant she had to acknowledge that – her eyes slid to the bench seat where Spencer lay asleep.

Why didn't you find a less incendiary "truth" to reveal?

She forced her eyes to return to the window and the darkness outside. You wanted Spencer to know, so you found the perfect excuse to say the words.

JJ's eyes began to sting. She coughed quietly into her her elbow and blinked rapidly. She didn't want to face the consequences if anyone saw her crying.

Especially Reid.

She wiped her eyes with her fingers and watched the blackness outside her window. She looked at the watch Will had given her for her last birthday.

Will!

His face flitted through her mind. He loved her and had stood by her for ten years. He was the father of her children. They had a good life together.

Are you sure?

Yes!

JJ forced away thoughts she refused to follow toward their conclusion. She'd made her choice over a decade ago, and it was the right choice.

Was it?

A memory she'd forced down fourteen years ago emerged from her mind like a shark rising through dark water to drag away an unsuspecting swimmer.

She and Spencer stood before her door after the football game date. Garcia had left them alone despite JJ trying to signal her to stay and run interference.

"It's not you," JJ said. "I– I like you, Reid, but – "

The shadows of pain in his beautiful hazel eyes as she spoke nearly undid her determination to push him away before things went in a direction, she couldn't take.

"It's okay," Spencer said softly as his eyes began to shine with unshed tears. "Um, can I kiss you goodnight," he asked as his cheeks turned rosy red in the hallway light.

JJ didn't want to let him kiss her because if she tasted his lips, she might not have the strength to force him away. She wasn't ready for the feelings that swirled in her stomach, making her head float somewhere on her shoulders. "Sure," she said.

He kissed her briefly, like the kiss of a teenage boy with his first love.

Oh, Gad!

He backed away from her, said. "Goodbye, JJ."

Goodbye! The tone in his voice when he said the word sounded like forever.

"Spence!"

He turned back. "I – um, see you on Monday." She stuttered.

"Yeah, see you," he said, then he was gone.

She went into her apartment, dropped her bag on the floor, dropped onto her sofa, and cried until her voice was hoarse and her tears were gone.

Since that night, JJ had done her best to walk the line of friendship around Spencer. She'd wanted to step off the razor-thin line that night in Georgia after watching him die and then come back, but she'd maintained a precarious balance.

JJ slid her eyes right and saw that Spencer had turned over on the bench. He still slept, and she could see lines of pain on his face. She looked at his bandaged hand and heard the memory of the gunshot that saved her life. She blew out a breath and tried to keep back new tears.

Will and the boys were waiting for her at home. Somehow she had to get her emotions under control before she walked in the door.

You promised for better or worse.

She turned her eyes back to the ebony night outside her window and stared at her reflection once more. How was she going to face Spencer? What could she say to him that wouldn't sound like – another lie?

How could she attend Rossi's wedding and watch two people make the same vows she'd pledged to Will? She bit her lower lip hard enough to hurt. The bright pain forced back her desire to wake up Spencer and make him understand that – understand, what, that she'd broken his heart because she hadn't wanted to get married and have kids? He'd wanted it desperately. She'd seen it in his eyes every time he looked at her for years until she'd made it clear that she was committed to Will.

Then why did you say the words?

I don't know. It was easier than trying to sell a lie.

"Guess I'm a better liar than you thought."

The words echoed in her head, and she almost burst into hysterical laughter that would be impossible to explain to everyone.

Now, she had to continue to walk the line with Spencer, never to cross it again. She needed to bury her feelings for him back into their grave, pour in concrete, cover it with a ton of compressed earth, and leave it unmarked.

JJ swallowed hard and sat back in her seat. She closed her eyes and pretended to sleep while she thought about questions that didn't have answers and dreams that could never come true.