I don't own digimon.

Story 36

Oh Shit

Scuumon was absolutely confused. He was trying his hardest to read one of his favorite books and then, blam! He was in the human world. The least they could do was kindly give a heads-up before sending him over. But the giant poop digimon suspected he wasn't the first digimon to have a complaint like that. Call it a hunch of his.

"Can't a guy get some time to read?!" Scuumon announced and shook his arms about. Taking care to not drop his favorite book, he looked around. Large evergreens and other plants towered over him without a care in the world. Oddly, there was nothing in the way of cute and cuddly forest creatures. Those were universally required to differentiate a forest from a meager grove of trees. Which kind of place this was Scuumon wasn't completely certain. "Fine then! I'll just find my own place to sit and read!"

His words shot out, birds flying off to parts unknown. Scuumon tried his best to make out what direction they were heading in. But with all these trees, that was a fool's errand of the highest caliber. At least, that was what Lenny would shout whenever he suggested a dumb idea. God, he couldn't even imagine the look on his face when his partner saw him. Especially when he saw his favorite book.

"Which way would be best?" the giant poop digimon thought and closed his eyes. Spinning around a couple times, he stopped and pointed with his free hand. Opening his eyes back up, he found himself pointing to the south. Staring in that direction, he could just make out a stream. If there was a real, that meant there was probably a bridge for people to walk over. In turn, that meant a trail and a way for people to get back to civilization. Scuumon hoped that was the case. Nothing worse than getting stuck out in a place like this without a map or a plan to get out of here. The latter especially. But this was a decent enough start.

Heading in the direction of the stream, Scuumon tried his best to get his thoughts in order. With so many questions that he wished to ask, his partner most likely didn't want to be assaulted all at once. Kind of like the time he asked about him going to something called 'Basic Training'. Looking back on that moment, he most definitely added far more stress to what was likely an already stressful time for him. Definitely a good idea to apologize first. Questions could come right after. Maybe a hug to put him at ease. Many people had told him his hugs were amazing. But they probably hadn't been hugged by a giant poop in the past. Automatically made him the best. Scuumon didn't mind. His partner would be the ultimate test here. But that could wait. Right now, he needed to find wherever the he-

Before Scuumon could finish that thought, the sound of something whizzing above his head forced his gaze back ahead. Had he been mistaken for a target? How rude of the shooter. He very much wasn't. Though, he would recommend to the shooter to have his eyes checked. Just in case. Letting vision problems go unnoticed and/or untreated until later down the road could easily result in far worse problems. Scuumon wouldn't even wish that on his worst enemies.

Taking a moment to look around, the giant poop digimon continued in the direction of the stream. He was most definitely on the right track, but that shot could have come from anywhere. Heck, the person responsible could be making their way towards him as he hopped along. Maybe once they saw him, the person would realize that this was all one big misunderstanding. Those did tend to happen from time to time. But that was the result of the digital world being… the digital world.

"Freeze, monster." a voice announced and Scuumon stopped. Putting his hands up in the air, he waited for the shots to ring out. Instead, he was grabbed by his elbow and lifted up into the air. The least they could do was ask which elbow he wanted grabbed. That way, the chances of him dropping his book were relatively slim. But no, they had to do this the hard way. Or whatever the heck they called this. Just one more rude thing for today. On the bright side, he could make out the person who was holding him. A woman, she was dressed in a strange green brown and tan top with matching pants. A set of tan combat boots hung to her feet, covered in mud and leaves. Moving up to their face, what Scuumon could only assume to be mud covered her face. Didn't detract from her grayish brown eyes and locks of hazel colored hair done up in a crew cut.

"Mr Giant Turd, care to tell me why you were wandering around in the middle of an army training firing range?!" the woman announced, the words refusing to connect with Scuumon's mouth. What the heck had he gotten himself into? This was all one huge mistake. Mostly on the part of whatever force was in control of sending digimon down. Then a bit on him for not knowing how to flag someone down for a rescue.

Uh… uh…" Scuumon started, only to be met with a slap from the woman. Bracing for it, that did little in the way of keeping the grip on his favorite book. Dropping to the ground, the cover was now on full display - A complete professional guide to plumbing: 2001 edition.

Reaching down to scoop the book up, the woman's gaze turned back to Scuumon. Staring at the giant poop digimon, he didn't know if he should say something.

"Is this some kind of joke, maggot?!" she shouted and Scuumon looked away. He was in serious trouble now. Now would be a good time for his partner to swoop in and rescue him. Unless they were

"No ma'am, I am a successful plumber in the digital world." Scuumon answered and got a look from the woman. Why was everyone's reaction when he told them something similar? Thankfully, his skills more than made up for his app-

"You make me laugh. If you were an actual plumber, wouldn't you have your tools and an actual up-to-date book?" the woman countered and found herself getting a look. Looking behind herself, nothing in the way of backup was coming her way. Had they too

"My tools are back at my home in the digital world and the closest to an up-to-date book is a 2004 copy. And the odds of that are slim to none." Scuumon explained and let out a sigh. What he would give for his partner to show up right about now. Nice as this woman was, he much rather have him here. "If you can provide me with both of those things, I can prove it."

The woman let out a sigh. Digging into her pants pocket, our came a flip phone. Opening it up, Scuumon watched her punch in a number. Bringing it up to her ear, the giant poop digimon tried his best to hear whoever might be on the other end.

"Yes, I have the supposed 'target'. I didn't get a name, but they claimed to be a plumber. Okay. I'll bring him over. Understood." the woman announced and hung up, closing the phone in the process. Turning back to Scuumon, she let out a sigh. "Do you have a name?"

Scuumon nodded. Glad as he was to get closer to his goal, how they managed to avoid not telling each other their names was beyond him.

"Scuumon, ma'am." Scuumon answered and did a salute with his free arm. For all the effort he had put in, the giant poop digimon suspected he was nowhere close to a proper one. But the woman looked past that as they headed off. "If you don't mind me asking, where am I?"

The woman let out a chuckle, the creek coming into view. Passing through the forest in the western direction, it went on without a care in the world.

"You're at Fort Breyers Army Training Base, plumber." the woman explained as she walked through the stream. Not even caring about the splashing she created, even if a couple came close to wrecking Scuumon's book. "Recruits were practicing their marksmanship skills, up until you showed up."

Scuumon gulped. So that was why he nearly got shot. Part of him wanted to look past whatever recruit had pulled the trigger, but that didn't change the fact that he was nothing close to a target. Better yet, why the heck were they using something so similar to him? Had to be far better targets on offer for an army base. That was asking way too much from the poor ole suppliers tasked with providing everything the recruits and instructors needed. For now, Scuumon pushed that thought away and returned his focus ahead.

"I'm terribly sorry about interrupting your students' marksmanship practice." Scuumon announced and just caught the head shake from the woman. Up ahead, tents and other equipment had been set up. What he could only assume to be cadets were standing around, waiting for their next order. Rifles sat on white plastic tables, their magazines removed to prevent any misfires or possible accidents occuring while he and this woman were down range. Just beyond that was a large wooden tower. While the giant poop digimon couldn't tell if there was anyone actually in there, he had a sneaking suspicion that there probably was at least one person there. Maybe even two.

"We were planning on going to break anyway, but your appearance works as well." she answered and Scuumon shifted his gaze. His partner had to be somewhere within this crowd. Or at least, the surrounding area. Before any searching could be done, Scuumon needed to wait for the woman to let him go. A prospect that felt perpetually out of reach currently. "Can I trust you to not cause problems?"

Scuumon perked up. While this woman was probably not a mind reader, it was awfully convenient that she let go of him the moment he thought she wouldn't/

"Yes, Ma'am!" the giant poop digimon announced and attempted to salute. Slightly better than his previous attempt, Scuumon was fairly certain he still had a lot of work when it came to that gesture. Bringing his hand back down, he found his book now in hand.

Afterwards, his attention shifted to the group of people standing about. Dressed much like the woman who had carried him over, that even extended to the crew cuts they were sporting. Either that was an extremely popular cut or he was missing a major memo for what was going on here. But Scuumon let that thought pass as all eyes focused on him. Whispering to each other, his arrival had very much caused a stir. Which was odd. After the whole Eosmon thing, the giant poop digimon would have thought that most people would be used to seeing a digimon. Could be chalked up to Eosmon being all violent kidnappers/murderers that could only be destroyed by another digimon.

"By any chance do you know someone by the name of Spike?" he asked and his audience went silent. What could his partner have done to gain this bad of a reputation. Perhaps something had occurred that no one here knew how to explain to the giant poop digimon. No, that couldn't be the explanation. But why else would they refuse to answer him here? Quite a simple question he had asked.

"Uh… you mean Instructor Spike, right?" one person squeaked out, Scuumon's gaze swiveling over. There it was - an actual reason. Not that this was a really good reason for withholding from something that looked like a giant turd, but Scuumon could look past that.

"Yes. Do you know where I can find him?" Scuumon inquired, the sound of boots hitting the ground slowly echoing their way towards the group. Turning in that direction, Scuumon could make out a man. Dressed much like the other he had seen around this army base. The only real difference was the wide-brimmed hat sitting on his head and the pair of sunglasses over his eyes. "Spike, it's me!"

The man pulled his sunglasses off, taking a moment to rub his eyes with his free hand. The sunglasses go back on, his pace picking up to meet the giant poop digimon. Ignored the confused looks he was getting

"What the heck are you doing here?" Spike announced and shook Scuumon about a couple times. Miraculously, the giant poop digimon managed to hold onto his plumbing book.

"Uh… I'm actually not entirely sure." Scuumon answered as Spike set him down. Cracking a smile, he found himself treated to a head pat. Afterwards, his focus shifted to what the group of people from before. "Uh… I'm guessing you're an instructor now?"

Spike nodded.

"You could say that." he explained and shifted his gaze over to a person in the group. "Maggot, I really hope your trigger finger is no longer itchy. You could've easily killed a digimon if you hadn't gotten lucky."

Scuumon's gaze split between the two people. What could Spike mean by that? Was there something going on here that he was not privy too. Probably didn't matter. He was back in this world with his partner. Not much more that he could want out of this. Outside of his tools.

Notes:

Taking a short break, hope you all don't mind.