To MohawkWoman: No need to thank me. :) I´m really grateful to have so patient readers.
To Luthlien: Oh, don´t worry. :) I don´t mind if you don´t have the time to comment on the chapters. Like MohawkWoman said: Life keeps us all busy. ;) But I´m happy to read something from you anyway. And yes: Emily is such a sweetie. I really love her, although it is strange to say that about your own character. But in the current chapter I´m writing, she´s already two years old, walks and talks and it´s so much fun to write her.
Time for happiness
"Sit still now. Or do you want your hair to look like the wind has run through it in the first place?" Chuckling I grabbed Maria´s delicate shoulders and held her, so that she couldn´t slide back and forth on the chair anymore. I was trying for an eternity now, to pin up her hair, but her nervous fidgetiness didn´t make it easier. But I couldn´t hold it against her. I certainly hadn´t behaved different on my own wedding day. I glanced into the mirror and smirked when I saw how Maria was chewing on her bottom lip while looking at her own reflection. She was incredibly pale and I remembered that I really hadn´t felt different. I fixed a last strand of hair with a hairpin and put both hands on Maria´s shoulders, whereupon she looked at me through the mirror.
"Everything will be fine", I said with a smile. "Everything is prepared and you don´t have to worry about anything. Just enjoy the day."
Maria nodded slowly and lowered her eyes, while I continued doing her hair. Only when I was done, my friend moved again.
"How did you know that you´re doing the right thing?", she asked and I frowned in confusion because I didn´t understand what she was driving at. She explained it to me. "How did you know that it was right to marry Connor? I mean...did you ever think that it could be a mistake? That he couldn´t be the right man? How did you come to the decision that you didn´t want to marry one of the men Theresa introduced you to in London?"
I blinked surprised. I hadn´t been prepared for this onslaught of questions so that I needed a moment to search for an answer. I leaned my hips against the washstand and ran my fingertips over the grain of the wood, lost in my thoughts.
"I decided to marry him because I love Connor", I finally answered. "I could have taken one of the men in London. Maybe one of them would have been the right man to care for me. But he wouldn´t have been the right one if I wanted to become happy."
Maria had folded her hands in her lap and kneaded them nervously. I believed that she had become paler than before. She was breathing quickly and I pulled away from the washstand, to kneel down in front of her and take her cold hands into mine.
"Do you have doubts that you really want to marry Ted?", I asked quietly and Maria nodded after some hesitation.
"What if I have decided too quickly? If I will notice that he isn´t the right man for me?"
I smiled and lightly squeezed her hands. "During all the time since you know each other, you could rarely see and still found each other. You two could have looked around for somebody else already, but you always thought of the other. I think it´s normal that you have doubts now. You´re about to take an important step. I almost felt the same. But listen to your heart and ask yourself how you would feel if Ted wasn´t with you anymore."
Maria´s hands trembled lightly when she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "It would be terrible", she whispered at last and when she opened her eyes, I saw tears in them. "I don´t want to be separated from him."
"And because of the same thought I have decided that Connor is the right man for me." I smirked and wiped a tear from her cheek with my index finger. "There will be times when living together maybe isn´t so easy. But you will get over those times and I´m sure you won´t regret anything."
"And you´re not regretting anything?"
I shook my head. "Not until now, but we aren´t married for long yet. Ask me again in ten years." A cheeky grin flitted across my lips when she raised an eyebrow. That certainly wasn´t what she had wanted to hear, but I could read in her eyes that she luckily didn´t take my words serious. I just wanted her to stop looking so thoughtfully.
"Do you feel ready, or do you need a moment?", I asked and when she shook her head smirking, I stood up and began to fix the veil in her hair. Suddenly Maria appeared to be more relaxed, more confident and I was sure that she was going to enjoy this day.
"Are you pleased?", I asked when I was draping the veil over her shoulders and a sparkle appeared in her eyes as she nodded. Maria rose from her chair, flattened her skirt and looked herself over in the mirror once again with her head cocked.
"But do you think I will appeal to Ted?", she asked and looked at me, now unsure again.
"He would be a fool if you won´t. You look beautiful."
Maria looked into my eyes through the mirror again, before she turned around and hugged me. "Thank you, Lillian", she whispered and I gently pulled her against me.
It was strange. The whole time I had been excited for her wedding and until now I had looked forward to go into the church and watch Maria taking a step into this new part of her life. But right in this moment, it became aware to me what I had suppressed the whole time: Tomorrow Maria was going to move to Boston with Ted to live there. I wouldn´t be able to see her so often anymore and I knew that I was going to miss her terribly. But I didn´t want to think about it now.
When there was a quiet knock on the door, we pulled away from each other, as Connor pushed his head through the open door.
"Are you ready?", he asked and Maria and I uttered a simultaneous "Yes" which made us both grin. Even Connor couldn´t hold back a smirk, before he closed the door again and left us alone. Maria took a deep breath and grabbed her bridal bouquet, which was lying on the washstand.
"Ready?"
She nodded, now smiling nervously again and I opened the door to let her go ahead. Big Dave, who she had chosen as her male attendant, was already waiting for her downstairs. I hardly recognized him without his leather apron the smith was always wearing for his work. He uttered an acknowledging whistle when Maria stopped in front of him and fumbled nervously on her bridal bouquet.
"A beautiful bride", he said with a wide smile. "And of course two beautiful bridesmaids."
This compliment was for Ellen, who was standing by the door and me. We both wore identical white dresses with blue robes, which were looking like Maria´s dress but weren´t as much decorated with lace and ruches.
Grinning I performed a curtsey and finally took the small bouquet Ellen was giving to me. Maria linked arms with her male attendant and together we left the house to go to the church. I took a deep breath of the fresh autumn air which was still smelling of the rain that had come down tonight and had soaked the paths and in the face of the many puddles, we women had to take care not to spatter our dresses. Connor, who was carrying Emily on his arm and was walking next to me, reached out his free hand for me from time to time, as if he feared I could fall during my more or less elegant evasive manoeuvres. One or two times he was wise to do so, but when we reached the church, the dresses were still as flawless as before. Connor went into the Lord´s house with Emily, while Ellen and I took position behind Maria and Big Dave. I saw how Maria squared her shoulders and pushed her chin forward, before we entered the church and I felt how my own nervousness boiled up. Almost as if I was stepping in front of the altar myself, but I´d already had my day. Now it was Maria´s turn, but I was going to enjoy this wedding anyway. It was the most positive event long since and at the same time it helped me sticking to my new resolutions: Not to rack my brains over people who didn´t do me good anyway. With the message about Ray´s departure to England, I had got the naive feeling that I had to enjoy this time of peace that was coming now. He was going to be away for almost half a year, if he was going to come back anyway and if he came back, we knew where he would be. Except of the templars, there was nothing I had to worry about for now. I was absolutely sure about it and I wanted to stick to it, although Connor always wanted to make me know that it wasn´t good for me to feel too safe. But why should I rack my brains for another six months? There were more important and good things in life. Like this wedding.
The ceremony, led by Father Timothy, took place in a reverent but warm atmosphere. All homesteaders had gathered to attend it. Since Maria had arrived here with me, everyone had grown fond of her and her open and fair character, like Maria had learned to love Davenport and its inhabitants. Everyone knew that she was going to leave us soon and so everyone wanted to celebrate with her one last time. According to this, the rapture was quite lively, when the Father pronounced Ted and Maria husband and wife and we left the church to receive them there. Prudence distributed some baskets filled with petals and so a colourful and light rain went down on the two, when they came out of the church. They radiated a seizable joy and the memory of Maria´s previous doubts was forgotten when I saw her shining eyes. Especially when she looked at her husband. She was happy and I was happy, too.
When I went to her to congratulate her, Maria embraced me so firmly that I lost my breath for a moment.
"Thank you, Lillian", she whispered into my ear. "If you weren´t with me, I surely would have got cold feet and would have regret it my whole life."
"You don´t have to thank me." I pulled away from the embrace and we both chuckled when we saw the tears in the other´s eyes. "Now got to your husband so that we can go to the inn. We should celebrate and not sink into sentimentality", I said, still laughing and pushed Maria back to Ted. She laughed, too before she linked arms with him and they led the procession to the inn. I ran my shaking hand over my cheeks, where some tears had found her way to, before I followed them, Connor by my side. Sometimes I really hated it to be so prone to tears. I also hated this melancholic feeling that was seizing me in the face of the approaching farewell. But every kind of melancholy was consistently banished from my thoughts when we finally entered the pleasantly warm inn and the joyful mood of the wedding party spread into every corner of the room. Corrine and I had hung up some autumn arrangements and garlands made of the last flowers of the summer, which Prudence had done so ornately and which spread a pleasant smell, mingling with the scent of freshly cooked food. I went into the kitchen with Corrine to make the last preparations of the food, before we carried it into the dining area and distributed it among the others under their loud cheering. We had pushed together all the tables of the dining area so that we could enjoy the meal together and celebrate the bridal couple with a collective rising of our glasses.
It was noticeable that the whole homestead had looked forward to this feast. It was the perfect opportunity for us all, to forget the daily life and enjoy society. So it didn´t take long, after the last plates were emptied and put away, until the tables were scattered in the room againto create free space, where at first the bridal couple and finally some other pairs and brave loners came together to dance, musically accompanied by a small group of sailors. The music mingled with the joyful voices and laughing of the men and women and the mood became more and more lively. Amused I was sitting on my chair and especially watched the chaos on the improvised dance floor. A large group had gathered in a circle and was moving round and round, half dancing, half jumping, but singing loudly. It was obvious that some barrels of Oliver´s alcoholic delicacies had been opened already. Emily, who had been troubled by the unfamiliar crowd of people and noises in the beginning, was now sitting on my lap, relaxed and watching the hustle and bustle around us with wide eyes and totally forgetting the wooden toy in her hand, on which she had sucked with dedication before.
"Look at it, little mite", Mr. Faulkner said, who had sat silently in front of us until now and had attended to his mug of ale, in which he had dripped something from his flask from time to time. To that effect his tongue was quite heavy already. "That´s how you have to celebrate and that´s how lust for life looks like, I tell you." Amazingly unerringly, he tipped his finger against Emily´s nose, whereupon she uttered an amused squeal and tried to reach for his hand, which was already at his mug again.
"First and foremost it´s how lust for life paired with alcohol looks like", I smirked and gained a crooked grin from Faulkner for it.
"Both are quite similar", he mumbled and had a deep sip from his drink, before he pointed at Connor with the mug.
"Just ask the Captain how happy the men are, every time they can go ashore and into a tavern."
Connor, who had sat silently next to me until now and had watched the chaos on the dance floor, now looked at his first mate and squinched up his face. "I will evade an answer", he just replied and Faulkner chuckled, while I couldn´t hold back a grin. For a composed man like Connor, a bunch of drunken sailors wasn´t his company of choice. I didn´t mind drunken jollity, as long as people still knew how to behave.
"Can I entrust Emily to you for a moment, so that I can dance?", I ask, as I leant to Connor a bit.
"Of course. Take your time." Connor lifted Emily on his lap and I saw how the corners of his mouth twitched upwards when I leaped up, wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed a grateful kiss on his temple, before I happily went to the dance floor and joined the others, who had created an alley by now to let single pairs dance through it.
For a whole while I got carried away by the liveliness of the feast, danced, laughed and enjoyed the jolliness of my friends. I also grabbed Maria and together we whirled over the dance floor, laughing loudly and no one of us took over the leading role of the man. We were just turning in circles and enjoyed it like two little girls, although we soon felt dizzy and even if we weren´t drunk, we started to stagger. When we finally felt onto our bottoms, not only the people around us were highly amused by it. Cackling and snorting with laughter we were sitting on the floor, held each other in our arms and right now I really didn´t thought about a farewell.
We needed the help of Big Dave and Ted to stand up while we were still laughing our heads off. We hugged each other once again, before we returned to our seats to moisten our dry throats. I was still giggling quietly, especially when I saw the amused sparkle in Connor´s eyes, who had probably watched us the whole time.
"Are you sure, that there was only water in there?", he asked smirking as I sat down next to him again and grabbed my mug. I nodded, while I emptied the mug with a few sips.
"You don´t always need alcohol to be joyful", I said grinning and looked at Mr. Faulkner, who only raised his mug humming. I chuckled in the face of his lazy posture, before I looked at Emily who had already slipped into the land of dreams. Connor had laid his arms around her so that she was protected from the flickering candle light on the table. She had buried her head in his chest, her tiny fist close to her mouth and her lips opened and closed, as if she wanted to suck on her fist. Carefully I reached out my hand and stroked through her dark hair.
"I bring her upstairs", I said quietly and lifted her on my arms, when Connor nodded and slowly loosened his grip around Emily. She was fast asleep, even when I carefully moved through the room and past our friends. On the upper floor of the inn, Myriam, Prudence and I had created a sleeping area made of blankets on the floor in one of the rooms for the three youngest inhabitants of the homestead, where they could rest and we didn´t need to worry that no one was taking care of them. So one of us was always upstairs and saw that everything was all right. When I entered the room, Prudence was there and was gently stroking the head of her sleeping son. We just smiled at each other when I kneeled down next to her and carefully bedded Emily on the soft blankets. I stayed for quite a while, after Prudence had left the room, watched her and only when Myriam came upstairs, I could return to the wedding celebration without a bad conscience.
By now the dance floor was empty and it had become much calmer. They were sitting together, talked to each other, drinking one or two ales. Connor was also holding his mug in both hands, turning it slowly while he was looking into the liquid inside.
"Oliver says, it doesn´t taste so good anymore when the froth is gone", I said smirking when I sat down next to him and glanced into his mug.
"Oliver is dependent on topping up", Connor replied and lightly tilted the mug so that the froth of the ale swashed against the edge.
"That´s true." I watched how Connor tilted the mug into the other direction, before my gaze moved through the room. It stopped at two empty chairs, on which Ted and Maria had sat before.
"Where are they?", I asked Connor, who looked up only shortly before attending to his drink again.
"They left already. Shortly after you brought Emily upstairs."
"Without saying goodbye?" My voice sounded almost disappointed, but Connor appeared to be amused when he looked at me.
"We left without saying a word, too."
He wasn´t wrong about that. Obviously Maria and Ted had chosen the time to retire on their own. But somehow I had hoped that I could chat with Maria a bit.
I should get used to it that from now on, she doesn´t have time for me only anymore.
I gulped with this thought. Selfishly I had already got used to it that Maria had always been there for me when I had needed her. She had always been not only a moral support, but had also helped me with my everyday problems. Especially in the beginning, after we had arrived in America. I already missed it to have her with me, although I was happy for her that she now had made a huge step towards her own family, something she had always wished to have. Even when she had still been working for Theresa and somehow for me. Maria was one of the people I wished every luck on the world, although it must look like I didn´t.
I hadn´t noticed that Connor had watched me from the side the whole time, while I had just stared at the two empty chairs. The scraping of chair legs on the wooden floor got me out of my thoughts and I blinked several times when Connor laid his arm around me, before I looked away from the chairs.
"She will be fine. Ted will be a good husband to her", Connor said quietly, so that I was the only one who heard him and he lightly tipped his index finger against my chin so that I looked at him. "Do not look as if you have carried her to the grave."
I squinched up my face. "Do I really look like that?"
When Connor nodded, I uttered a quiet, frustrated groan and buried my head on his shoulder, whereupon Connor wrapped his other arm around me, too and propped his chin on my head.
"I will miss her", I mumbled into his shirt.
"I know. But you will not be hundreds of miles away from each other. You can visit her and she can visit you."
He said it as if it was the easiest thing on the world and I tried to hope that Maria and I were really going to find the time and chance to meet each other so easily, although it had already been difficult here in the homestead sometimes.
Around noon of the next day, I was standing with Maria in front of her former house and watched Ted saddling the horse with which he was going to bring his beloved to Boston. Maria´s belongings were already in the house in which they were going to live together and so there was nothing I could help her with before her departure. We were just standing silently next to each other and I could read in Maria´s face that she was expecting this farewell as sadly as I did. Especially because of that, I forced myself to smile encouragingly, when Ted was ready at last and was only waiting for his wife. She turned to me, grabbed my hands and looked at me with teary eyes.
"I´m really going to miss you, Lillian", she said with a husky voice, before she embraced me tumultuously. "If I didn´t know you, I wouldn´t have come here. I would have stayed in London and certainly I would still clean up after some noble ladies and gentlemen."
She sobbed quietly and I had to bite my bottom lip not to cry, too.
"I will miss you, too", I murmured and stroked over her hair. I couldn´t say anything more, if I didn´t want my voice to break. But still I added: "We will certainly meet some time or other. When I´m in Boston or you´re somewhere in this region. Our door will always be open for you."
Maria pulled away from the embrace and a smile was on her lips, which didn´t want to fit to the tears running down her cheeks.
"And you´re always welcome, too", she said and hugged me one last time, before she went to Ted who helped her mounting the horse. I followed her a bit, stopped next to the animal and looked up to them. "Take care of each other."
They nodded and Maria blew me a kiss, before Ted drove the horse on.
"Give Connor my regards and kiss Emily for me", I heard Maria call, before they disappeared behind the next bend in the road. Only then I allowed myself to cry.
Very slowly I made my way back home while I was sobbing to myself. Not until the manor appeared in front of me and I finally climbed the stairs to the front door, I forced myself to stop crying, but probably I would have lost it anyway. Because when I opened the door, the first person I saw was a soldier, stumping down the staircase to the upper floor. Surprised I stayed in the door frame like frozen, while he looked at me with knitted eyebrows.
"Ma'am", he grumbled, maybe as a kind of greeting. My reply was only a jerky nod and a stammered "What do you want here?", when Connor came downstairs. His expression showed suppressed anger and my chin almost dropped, when two more soldiers came out of our kitchen and the study.
"I told you, she is not here", Connor growled and hearing his tone, I was wondering why these three gentlemen weren´t lying on top of each other bleeding.
"My apologies, Sir. But we were told that she´s hiding here", the soldier, who had come downstairs with Connor, said. I didn´t dare to ask whom they were talking about. I could guess anyway.
"Well, it is not the case. So if you would not mind to leave my house..." Connor pulled me to himself and pointed at the now free door. The soldiers shortly looked at each other, before the one nodded and they left wordlessly. The door fell loudly shut behind them. Connor growled something in his mother-tongue, before he stepped to the window and watched the three men riding away. Not until then he turned around again and stomped to the cellar. I followed him.
"What did they want here? Did they search for Olivia?", I ask while Connor pulled at the candleholder beside the hidden door that opened. He nodded grimly.
"And why did you let them in anyway?"
"Because I was outside and had Emily with me, when they came all of the sudden. If it had been different..." He didn´t finish the sentence, but he didn´t have to. I knew the continuation. Wordlessly I followed him downstairs and there he stood up in front of Olivia with crossed arms. She was sitting on the table in a bend posture and looked at him unmoved. I didn´t even ask how she knew about the hidden door.
"Perdóname", she said. "I couldn't know that they knew where I could be."
"But at least you could hide in time, when they came", Connor uttered in a bitter and scornful tone. He had crossed his arms in front of his chest, but loosened this posture when he stepped closer to Olivia. I could only guess the grim gaze she was confronted with, but it didn´t seem to bother her. She kept looking at Connor, while he decided resolutely: "You will stay here, until you are better. But then you will leave and are only allowed to come back when everything is settled and they are not searching for you anymore. Never again I want soldiers to come into my house and maybe threat my family only because I am granting shelter to someone. Is this understood?"
Olivia´s answer was a short nod.