Shinji was sitting on the train, which was indeed cooler than outside, halfway to Rei's apartment before he realised what Asuka had actually said.

'Oh' he thought, then a string of german curse words only half of which he knew the meaning of dashed through his mind ending in 'baka'.

He really was an idiot. There were probably worse things he could have done when she said that. Staying might have been one of them. Asuka made little sense at the best of times. At one point he thought he'd worked it out. Asuka wanted attention - that's why she had to be the best, flaunt herself, proclaim her superiority - but it had to be on her terms and the right kind of attention. That she never actually told anyone what she wanted or how she wanted it usually left him confused and avoiding her whenever she was in whatever mood it was. Today had been even more incomprehensible than usual.

Something had happened while he'd been away. There was probably some obscure technical term for reaching a 400% sync rate and dissolving into your Eva, but 'away' was good enough most of the time. Asuka was sometimes even more Asuka. At others so different he'd think it was literally a different person if he didn't know better. Occasionally it was both at once. If she'd been deliberately trying to confuse him it would probably have been less confusing than whatever she was doing.

Shinji made the mistake of closing his eyes. He really should know better by now. He could feel the muscles in his arm tearing apart as he hauled Unit 02 out of he volcano. Why the cursed volcano again? He gritted his teeth against the pain. At least this was an actual memory and not the nightmare where he loses his grip. One small advantage of being awake. He needed something else to distract him before he broke a tooth. At least it wasn't his skin burning off. So a point for that. Maybe he really should start scoring them, it would provide a distraction and be much less noticeable than screaming in remembered pain. The train jolted and he opened his eyes.

There were a lot of things Shinji didn't remember. In some ways it was a blessing. He used to curse his memory for not letting him remember his mother's voice or her face. Now he'd do anything to be able to forget the last time he saw her.

At the beginning of his extensive debriefing after whatever it was Rei and Asuka did to get him back, he had honestly been able to say he didn't remember. By the end he wished he was still telling the truth. Yes he now remembered his mother talking to others, but none of it made sense to a four year old child so of course he had no idea what was said. He didn't tell them he remembered his mother holding him both as a child and impossibly as his teenage self. He didn't tell them that when he closed his eyes he saw her watching him, then dissolving layer by layer into a puddle of LCL in front of his Eva as soon as she put her hand on it until all that was left was the lab coat she'd been wearing.

They'd made him watch the video recording of his return. He'd honestly said that it didn't cause him to remember anything more.

He didn't tell them what he noticed.

A concerned Asuka insisting Rei needed him.
A despairing Asuka yelling that she needed him.
A furious Asuka shouting that he was her's. Insisting she had more right to have him with her than the Eva did.
Asuka and Rei moving together not just with shared purpose but in the perfect motion that was synchronisation. That they had been saying each other's words as if it wasn't just their bodies that were acting as one.

He didn't tell them what wasn't on the tape that he already knew. The feel of Asuka's hands on his chest not causing any pain at all. Rei's arms around him holding him, feeling gentle like his mother's but so different in other ways. Just how thoroughly Asuka had studied him to make sure he was solid. That someone had said "I love you" and he wasn't sure if it was Rei's, Asuka's or his mother's voice that he had heard. He hadn't had ears at the time.

The Asuka who yelled at him when he messed up he knew. He messed up a lot, it was familiar. Asuka the perfectionist. Asuka the pushy. Asuka who called him a pervert if he ever looked at her, when he just thought she was beautiful. Asuka the arrogant who would constantly tell people how smart she was, and usually go on to prove it. Even Asuka-the-slob who would lounge around in front of the air conditioner wearing nothing more than her thin sleepwear and demanding he bring her cold drinks. The Asuka that never says thank you, but sometimes smiles. Asuka smiling was one of the few things that made it worth living.

Asuka admitting to needing him - let alone shouting it out to everyone in Nerv - had been so unlikely he'd never considered it a possibility. He knew she depended on him for many things, but he didn't think she noticed most of them. She only noticed when he got something wrong, which was often. Usually the closest she had come to admitting it before had been curling up on the very edge of his bed when the nightmares got too bad. Always his bed, she would never permit him in her space - except to pick up her laundry and he wasn't entirely sure she noticed he did that.

This was the same Asuka who not only asked, but almost pleaded for him to come to her bed, didn't care how he touched her as long as he held her close enough. The Asuka who had doubted that he wanted to, as if there could be any question about it. She needed him. The contact wasn't hurting her. Of course he would hold her however she wanted. He might not be much use for anything else, but taking care of Asuka was something he could do, as long as he knew what she needed. For once she'd been very clear.

They'd managed to talk then, but the next day had fallen back into their old conversational patterns, even as their new living patterns included sharing her bed and watching her hug Rei in the morning like their lives depended on it. And the only nightmares he had were those while he was awake.

Shinji sighed as his arm went completely numb and grabbed the bag of food with his working hand before it slipped out of his fingers. Points for not actually feeling his arm being sliced off he supposed. Timing could have been worse. Was he going to score things according to how bad they were or how few problems they caused? Toji would probably have an idea of how scoring was done for things other than games that involved moving balls around. That was another conversation he wouldn't be having.

Then the storm and four days of her barely talking to him, being ignored by and then ignoring Rei and refusing any form of physical contact - not that he'd risk offering, let alone attempting, anything with her being worse than her old self - but she'd turned down Rei too.

If he remembered correctly, Asuka had said it had taken a week before the nightmares got bad. She'd missed one night while he was stuck at Rei's and not only were they back but bad enough to be waking them many times a night, not just once or twice as they used to. He knew just how much worse each individual nightmare had become too. So whatever was keeping her from demanding his presence must be even worse.

Now she'd finally said something, he just had absolutely no idea what to do with it.

How would he feel if Asuka and Rei slept together? It would be really weird if he were synchronised with Asuka at the time. He'd want to know if it helped with Asuka's nightmares, it would be a relief if it did. They'd probably need lots of fluids, sex was supposedly sweaty, especially in this heat. So if he knew in advance he'd have to make sure there was lots of ice available for glasses of cold water. Probably best to leave a shower for later so they'd have warm water to clean off with. Maybe it would be easier - he could take care of them both without having to travel as much. Asuka certainly wouldn't mind making him swim more to make up for the lost exercise. It had been pleasant waking up to find Rei resting her head on his shoulder. Rei had certainly seemed comfortable. Given the way they hugged, he was fairly sure Asuka would like that too.

His head hurt. He hadn't had any more rest than Asuka had. Less in fact as she stayed in bed after he got up to make breakfast. How was he supposed to deal with an irrational Asuka who somehow thought he wanted to have sex with Rei? If he had the time, energy or interest to date anyone, someone like Hikari would be a better choice - at least he'd only have to do half the housework.

He laughed out loud, startling the other passengers around him. Alright, that was as absurd as him having sex with either of the girls he cooked for. Probably the only person who'd find it entertaining would be Toji - he'd be all for it as long as it meant having two people around to cook for him.

Maybe lunch with Rei would help. She probably still wouldn't be able to tell him what was going on with her - unless Asuka was one of the "Things I do not understand", she certainly was for him. However even just sitting silently with Rei was calming. She'd have painkillers for his headache too. The one in his head at least. Not the one named Asuka.

Rei's apartment building still looked like it would fall down in a stiff breeze. It was a testament to pre-Impact earthquake building codes that it was still standing. The rain had washed one layer of grime off to leave a slightly different colour underneath. Flooding water had washed assorted unsavoury litter into piles. Someone had swept a clean path from the street to the stairwell - there was not even a pretence that the elevator might work. The stairwell was probably the cleanest part of the building, having turned into rapids during the storm.

As he climbed the stairs Shinji wondered if it would take an Angel flattening the place before he could get anyone to move Rei to somewhere more suitable. He'd been completely stonewalled when he tried.

He knocked, loudly enough for Rei to hear him even if she was in the bathroom and waited. He knew she was fine, amongst other things the Section 2 agent downstairs was actually awake, but it was quite possible she wasn't wearing much, if anything. It was a couple of minutes before a slightly dishevelled Rei opened the door, wearing what looked like a pair of Asuka's shorts and a damp school shirt that appeared unusually tight.

"What's wrong?" Rei is straight to the point as always.

"Asuka" he replied as he put the food on the kitchen counter.

He was about to unpack the bags when she wrapped her arms around him from behind and rested her head against his shoulder blade. It was a while before she loosened her grip enough he could turn and hug her back. That apparently reset the clock and it was five minutes before she looked up at him.

"I brought you lunch", stating the obvious.

Rei apparently did not think that five minutes was long enough, and it was some time before she let go. She was back almost as fast as he could blink, handing him a glass of cold water and one of her Nerv-strength painkillers.

They ate in silence

By the time they were finished, one of his headaches had gone. He was acquiring a new one though. Rei kept reaching out to touch him. As if she wasn't sure if he were there or not and she had to check. Not that he minded. As far as he was concerned Rei could touch him as much as she liked. Usually it was calming for him. If she needed it to reassure herself he was real, well, he knew how that felt. It was just confusing, and he was already confused enough.

Rei paused with her hand resting on his arm then withdrew completely.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," he sighed, "but I'm going to have to."

He closed his eyes in an attempt to clear his head and put his thoughts together. The intense burning pain in his chest was probably just a memory. Minus ten points for inconvenient timing. Rei's hand tightening on his forearm brought him back.

"She's been unhappy about something for days. I'm not entirely sure what I did, but she's barely talking to me much more than she has you. Just the minimum needed for the tests and what she wants for meals. She's even been eating in her room to avoid me."

Shinji wonders how much he can say. Asuka would be angry for another reason if she thought he was talking about her behind her back. Rei didn't dream so she might not understand the nightmares, she understood synchronisation pain more than anyone who was not a pilot could.

"We haven't slept. Too many nightmares. There's even a new one where when she woke up I couldn't breathe. It doesn't matter that we're in different rooms" He takes a breath and looks at Rei. "The only thing that helps at all is sleeping right next to each other. I don't know why. She won't do that. She won't let me help" His voice is becoming a mixture of frustration, anguish and despair. "I've seen how much you both need your daily hug, that can't be helping either."

Eventually, he continues.

"She'd been complaining all morning, half of it in german and rarely words I recognised. I was putting our lunches together when she yelled at me. What I thought I heard, was her swearing at me to leave her alone and come and see you. I was on my way here before it occurred to me
that there was no implied context, she was just mixing words in English, Japanese and German in a weird order."

Rei eventually interrupted Shinji's silence and blushing, "Please tell me what she said. I will not hold her words against you."

"Go fuck Rei", blurted Shinji. Logically he knew Rei wouldn't judge him for anything he said, let alone anything Asuka had said. Logic wasn't getting a word in edgewise.

Lost in his own distress it took a moment for Shinji to notice what Rei was doing.

"Rei? What are you doing?" he asks nervously.

"Getting undressed" replied Rei as she finished unbuttoning her shirt.

Shinji was fairly sure one of two things was happening. Either Rei was taking Asuka literally and was undressing with the intent to have sex with him. Or Rei was doing something perfectly reasonable from her perspective that just looked that way. Knowing Rei, both were distinct possibilities. Knowing which was probably more important than his embarrassment. With Rei the simplest way to find out was to just ask.

"Why?"

"I am not in a suitable state of cleanliness or attire for visiting Asuka to ask for clarification of her instructions. Given her possessiveness of you, it is an unexpected command."

Shinji studied the uneven bricks in the apartment wall intently. Watching Rei undress may qualify as one of those "worse things than leaving Asuka alone" things.

"I do not mind if you look," Rei said quietly behind him. The bricks continued to be interesting until he heard the shower turn on. If that had been Asuka, she'd have been trying to provoke him into doing something so she could accuse him of being a pervert. If that had been Misato, she'd have been trying to coax Kaji into the shower with her. That was Rei.

Shinji cleared the table and washed up the few lunch items while he waited.

Shinji closed his eyes. He was exhausted. Between the heat, the lack of sleep and the stress of dealing with a volatile Asuka he had no energy left. And Rei was calming to be around.

Rei who was taking a shower in the next room. He shouldn't be having thoughts of his friend naked with water running over her skin. Asuka would be yelling and calling him a pervert if she knew. Even though he wasn't thinking those kinds of things. Just imagining the way water would flow across her pale skin. Rei didn't have Asuka's long hair to wash. He liked Asuka's hair, the feel of it when it brushed across his face, the scent when they woke up with her head on his shoulder. Asuka was probably the sort of person who would enjoy someone washing her hair for her, as long as they did it exactly how she wanted.

Where had that thought come from? Asuka's showers were sacrosanct. She'd be upset with him even thinking about it. Rei wouldn't mind. She'd just said that. And Rei was very literal. No hidden meanings to try to guess there. She wasn't requesting he looked, just stating that she didn't object if he did. So thinking about Rei taking a shower was probably the best option he had right now. His imagination was quick to supply alternatives. The last time he saw his mother of course. And Rei's blood on his hands as he held her while she bled out, the light fading from her eyes. It hadn't happened that way when they met, but that didn't stop his imagination filling in the final details.

If he were one of his friends, the thought of seeing a wet, naked Rei would have been the highlight of the day, not the least distressing thing on his mind. His thoughts were interrupted before he got to wondering about which side Asuka would fall on.

Shinji was startled out of his thoughts by a hand on his shoulder.

Thankfully Rei was dressed. What she was dressed in...

"Is this acceptable? It is the coolest thing I own that might be socially acceptable to wear outside my apartment".

It most definitely was the coolest thing he had ever seen her wear. She managed to look professional and cute and cool even in the heat.

Oh. This was Rei. She literally meant it was the thing that kept her the coolest. And she was asking him to verify that it wasn't something others would find inappropriate. That she wasn't doing the equivalent of going out in her underwear.

He had a distressing thought.

"If there was a sudden strong breeze, would other people be able to see your underwear"

"No"

That answer was way too fast, even for Rei. Crap. He swallowed. He had somehow survived discussing Asuka's underwear with Misato. He could handle this. This was Rei, it would be embarrassing for entirely different reasons.

Shinji knew an unusually large amount about women's underwear for a boy his age. Innocently. He did the laundry for a supposedly adult woman and a teenage girl.

He knew Asuka had a pair of underwear that wouldn't show through a thin dress. He'd had to double-check with Hikari how to wash them to make sure the washing machine didn't eat them - Hikari had addressed it as a practical question, unlike his two roommates would have.

He knew how they felt. Going by her malicious grin, she had made sure they were still synchronised when she tried them on. For once her attempt to torment him had not worked. He'd endured being dragged around carrying colourful bags from various underwear stores while Asuka shopped with Misato. It would have taken more to embarrass him further at that point than Asuka demonstrating that her seemingly tiny underwear was actually oddly comfortable, if very snug, and didn't show through the new dress she bought at the same time as what she was wearing under it. Asuka didn't often wear dresses, but she'd looked beautiful in this one.

He did, however, have no idea what they were called.

"When Asuka took you shopping, did she by any chance insist on you buying underwear that looked impractical, uncomfortable or otherwise inappropriate for regular use?"

"Yes"

"Would any of it provide sufficient covering that it would not result in a public nudity incident? And not show through the dress in such a way that everyone around you could see the shape of your panties?"

Rei spun in place, the skirt rising up around her legs. If it had been anyone else he'd be trying to guess what it meant. Rei was probably calculating fluid dynamics and possible line of sight. He rapidly decided that his line of sight needed to be pointed elsewhere.

He kept them elsewhere as Rei picked through a drawer. The dresser was an upgrade on her keeping things in bags on the floor. At least the floor he was inspecting very closely was clean now.

He felt a very light breeze and looked up. Rei was spinning again.

He unconsciously rubbed the back of his head, "I suggest you don't do that deliberately."

"Why? I enjoy how it feels. It creates a pleasant breeze."

He searched for the right words, "Some people might interpret it as an invitation to engage in more intimate activities."

Rei looked up at him and spun a couple more times, smiling.

"Oh." She stopped, sounding disappointed. If it had been anyone other than Rei he'd have thought they were flirting. If she went out on a date in that dress and that smile, whomever she was with would have to beat people off with a stick. Maybe she could go out with Asuka. Asuka wouldn't need a stick, she would qualify as a deterrent to almost anyone just by being herself.

And with that thought reality came crashing back.

Rei had said Asuka was possessive of him. That still made no sense. Sure Asuka was possessive of anything she considered hers, even if technically it wasn't, like her Eva. That belonged to Nerv, though you'd never know it talking to Asuka. But this was him. Asuka who had figuratively and literally pushed him at Rei. Asuka who had been calling Rei his girlfriend for months. Asuka who'd told him to have sex with Rei half in german, with that bitter edge of disappointment... Asuka who'd called him 'my baka' casually while laughing like it was the most natural thing in the world for her to say. Asuka who'd screamed "MINE" at a fifty metre robot.

His head hurt terribly and he was hyperventilating but Rei caught him before he hit the floor.

He tried to sit up when he realised that he was lying half in Rei's lap with her cradling his head and running her fingers through his hair. It was several more minutes before he was calm enough to actually do so successfully.

Shinji was putting the rest of the food he'd brought for Rei in the fridge and trying to work out what was going on in Asuka's mind.

"You'll have to go alone"

Rei tilted her head questioningly.

"If we arrive together she'll assume we did what she asked" Asuka might be hard to understand and seemingly irrational, but she was still likely to jump to that conclusion. Asuka was so far past that conclusion she could have been at Hikari's planning a baby shower.

"Oh.

"Is there anything you want me to say to her?"

There were a great many things he wanted to say to Asuka. Almost none of which he dared say. He ran through the saner ones. Eventually he decided that he trusted Rei's judgement more than his own right now.

"I know there are some things you can't talk about. I don't know if any of them are about me."
He takes a deep breath, "Anything else. If it's about me. Anything you need to tell her. Anything you want to tell her. Anything she asks."

Rei stares at him, a barely perceptible widening of her eyes showing her surprise.

"Anything? Please confirm."

Shinji nods with sudden certainty at his decision, "Yes."

"I may be longer than I had originally anticipated. Please try to rest while I am gone."

With that Rei turns with a swirl of blue and white and is gone, leaving him alone with his thoughts. They are not good company.