Someone knocked on the door, dragging Asuka out of a well-deserved and dreamless nap. Obviously it wasn't the idiot coming back unless he'd also forgotten his key.

She knew it wasn't, but in a way she wished it was. After her shower she'd felt much calmer. She'd actually got the conversation she was going to have with Shinji all planned out. She was going to, she was going to apologise. Then she'd ask him what was really going on. Then she'd ask him what was going on with Rei not even noticing she existed. Then he'd make her something for dinner and they'd go to bed and not have nightmares.

Then she'd fallen asleep and someone had woken her up.

Asuka opened the door to discover Wondergirl on her doorstep. A Wondergirl who was wearing a dress Asuka had absolutely not bought for her. Even if you couldn't see her hair, the dress practically screamed this was Pilot Ayanami, pilot of Eva 00. Except it was also a light summer dress that hugged her curves almost as illustratively as a plugsuit and managed to both highlight her brilliant red eyes and make her hair look perfectly natural.

Asuka had two more things to be annoyed at Wondergirl about - that she'd no idea where she'd found that dress, and that she'd never seen her wearing it before. Make that three, she suddenly felt incredibly underdressed standing there in her second favourite pair of shorts and a Ramstein t-shirt.

"Pilot Soryu," Rei rudely interrupted Asuka's train of admiration thought.

"Wondergirl. What are you doing here?"

"I wish to talk to you about Pilot Ikari."

Asuka just looks at her.

"In private. May I enter?"

Asuka reluctantly let her in. She didn't want to deal with anyone. Especially Rei if they were back to formal titles. It seemed their friendship had vanished as soon as she had the idiot for herself. But she also knew Rei, or at least thought she did, and there was not going to be any avoiding whatever she wanted to talk about. Even if it was baka-Shinji.

"You are alone? I thought the idiot went to see you"

"I am. Assuming you are referring to Pilot Ikari, he did bring me lunch."

"So where is the Invincible Idiot now then? Too much of a coward to come back?"

"You would know where he is now better than I. When I left my residence he was still there."

What the fuck was that supposed to mean.

"I expected him to accompany me when I stated I would talk to you immediately. He decided it would be more productive if I came alone. I agreed with his reasoning."

"So you can lie for him without him being here to look guilty?"

"I do not lie to you. There are things I cannot talk about, even when I wish to, for your safety. Pilot Ikari is not one of those things." The emphasis is subtle, but in Rei's monotone it stands out like a bright flag to Asuka.

Asuka pounces, "So you can lie? Who are you lying to? Or is that a 'thing you cannot talk about'".

"The Commander. "

That was not what Asuka had been expecting, "You lie to Commander arsehole? How? Why? You're still his obedient little doll."

"I am not a doll".

'Right. The sky is blue. I am not a doll'.

"I lie to him to mitigate his objections to my relationships with you and Pilot Ikari."

Asuka's anger is being sidelined in favour of surprise and incredulity. "Oh. Is this related to the 'No friends for Wondergirl' rule?"

Rei's tone drops from her normal monotone to sounding completely robotic, "I am not permitted things that detract from my ability to perform my function or my willingness to follow orders. You ensure my physical and training needs are met. Pilot Ikari ensures my nutritional needs are met."

"So they'll what, throw you in the brig for having friends?" snarks Asuka.

"I will be replaced."

"What the fuck, Wondergirl? This again? Pilots are rare, they can't exactly mail order a new one to replace you."

Rei says nothing.

Asuka glares at her waiting for a response.

Rei stays motionless and does not speak.

Asuka finally catches on, "This is one of those things I can't know?"

Rei stays motionless and does not speak.

Asuka digs through her extensive vocabulary for a suitable swear word. "Fuck"

"So you can't even acknowledge that how they think they can replace you is something you can't talk about? You did say that 'Pilot Ikari' was not one of the things you are not allowed to discuss, so you can talk about baka-Shinji?"

"That is what I came to do. I have no orders preventing me from discussing him. I have his permission to tell you anything you want to know."

Asuka blinks, 'Anything? Either Rei had misunderstood, the baka was more of an idiot than she thought, or she'd missed something. He wasn't that stupid, was he? He knew she could take advantage of that, and given how angry she was, was likely to find something he wouldn't like.'

"Anything?"

Rei mimics Shinji's tone, "If it's about me. Anything you need to tell her. Anything you want to tell her. Anything she asks."

"Does he have any idea how dangerous that was?" mutters Asuka to herself, having confirmed what she was thinking.

"Yes."

Asuka was not expecting a response to something that she hadn't meant to say out loud.

"So I could ask you anything, no matter how personal or embarrassing and you'd tell me?"

"As long as I know the answer, yes."

"And he agreed to that?!" Calling her reaction surprise would be an understatement.

"I confirmed his offer to ensure I had not misunderstood."

Asuka tried to think of something she was reasonably sure Rei would know, but that Shinji didn't want her to know about. It was one thing to play one-hundred-and-twenty-questions with Rei when there was nothing to do but stare at an Eva. She was far too annoyed to do that now.

"How many times has he seen you naked?"

"One."

Asuka sighs to herself, talking to Rei was an exercise in finding the right question to ask. Either you get one word or an entire discourse.
Only Once? Which meant it was the time Rei had previously refused to tell her about and before they spent the night together. Well you could certainly have sex without being completely naked. Wondergirl could have decided that still wearing a single sock prevented her from being considered naked.

"Why did you avoid telling me about it?"

"He asked me not to mention it. It was embarrassing for him. I do not fully understand why. Since then he has refused to enter a room without checking that I am wearing sufficient clothing. I do not mind, though it is uncomfortable wearing clothing at my residence."

Asuka decided that she didn't particularly want to be thinking about Rei walking around naked, especially in front of her baka, who couldn't even manage to look at her no matter how she was dressed.

"So what actually happened?"

"He came to my apartment to deliver my NERV id so I could attend a synchronisation test that day. I was showering so did not hear him knock."

"And he just walked in?"

"The door was unlocked. He was concerned something had happened to me."

'Baka. Both of them. Who the hell takes a shower without locking the door?'

"He tripped on something just as I emerged from the shower. That was my fault. My apartment was less ... clean ... at that time."

'An unclean apartment. That might have been almost as bad for the baka as a naked Rei.'

"I attempted to catch him but the floor was wet as I had not finished drying when I heard someone enter. Fortunately, my fall interposed me between Ikari and the floor and he sustained no injuries."

Asuka can't help herself and laughs at the image.

"What is amusing about that Asuka? His nose would likely have been broken if it had impacted the floor and not my breast."

"He tries to do you a favour, enters your apartment because he's worried about you, finds you naked and promptly face-plants your boobs? How is that not funny? Poor baka though, I bet he couldn't even look at you for a while afterwards."

"13 days, 6 hours, 27 minutes"

"Huh? You counted?"

"No, that is just how long it took before he could manage to look at me without embarrassment."

"So what other embarrassing things would he not want me knowing?" muses Asuka to herself.

"He delays getting up in the morning on days you end up with your head on his chest because he likes the scent of your hair," replies Rei knowing it was not intended as a question to her but choosing to answer it anyway.

Asuka's subconscious goes straight to the thought of lying in Shinji's lap with him stroking her hair. She attempts to distract herself, "He does what? And how do you know?"

"I was tired and rested my head on his shoulder. He enquired as to what I used to wash it as it did not smell like LCL but also smelled very different from yours. You avoid touching anyone, especially him. I enquired as to the circumstances in which he was physically close enough to you to become familiar with the way your hair smells. He always attempts to answer my questions even when he is embarrassed by them. He explained that he avoids disturbing you as long as possible so he can enjoy your hair up close rather than just admiring it from a distance.

"He appeared embarrassed while explaining it to me, and would not want you to know in case you prevented further occurrences. So I believe it meets your criteria."

"So he's not letting me rest, he's sniffing me like a dog? Because he likes my shampoo?" Asuka manages to be both annoyed and incredulous.

"You would notice if he were, as you say, 'sniffing you like a dog'. He is letting you rest. He is also enjoying your presence. These are not incompatible activities.

"The shampoo is not what he enjoys about your hair. Your hair does not just smell like your shampoo. It smells like you. It has a different texture than mine. It is soft against the skin. It is long enough to blow in the wind. It highlights the blue of your eyes."

Asuka blinks, "He said all that?"

"He did not have to. I already knew."

'Of course Wondergirl knew what her boyfriend was thinking. Even if it was about me. And I've shared long hugs, a locker room and enough other activities for Wondergirl to have noticed my hair. There was something else she'd said though...'

"He's spying on me?!"

Rei tries to follow Asuka's train of thought and fails, "I do not understand."

"You said he admires my hair from a distance. He never looks at me. I could run around naked and he wouldn't notice. I certainly never see him. So he must be spying."

One day Asuka's thought processes would make sense to Rei. Today was unlikely to be the day.

"We see you in class. We walk to school together. He has plenty of opportunities to appreciate your appearance without you noticing him doing so and without doing it in an inappropriate manner. He often smiles while doing so. He smiles infrequently and you are aesthetically pleasing far more often. I take the opportunity to watch him when it arises."

"If you wish for him to look at you when you would be aware of him doing so, perhaps you could consider not attacking and insulting him when he does so. He is not looking at you with sexual desire. I do not understand why you insist he is." Rei's tone shifts, "' She's beautiful, even when she's angry.' I found his statement interesting. Aesthetics can be influenced by many factors. Your snarling angry red face would not be considered beautiful by Japanese standards, but he finds it so. We both find your smile more pleasing."

The idea that Baka-Shinji is not only not avoiding looking at her but thinking she's beautiful was absurd enough. Rei agreeing with him was even weirder. She had to be making this up.

"What colour was his poop after eating that monstrosity Misato called a feast?"

"That is not something I have witnessed. He did not share the information with me. I have no interest in inquiring." There is absolute certainty in Rei's tone, especially the last part.

'Well, she'll admit to not knowing something, and apparently isn't easily phased by ridiculous or unpleasant questions.'

"So tell me something you do know."

"There is no acceptable level of heating that would cause your breasts to be of sufficiently different size for anyone to notice. Even Shinji. Severe burns or combustion would ensue first."

"What the hell?"

"Human mammalian tissue does not expand enough for him to notice your bras fitting differently without sufficient heat to cause you to combust. Incineration would reduce rather than enlarge the size of your breasts."

"At the risk of repeating myself, what the hell? Even if he did a perverted thing with his homework, why would he tell you?"

"He appeared to be studying physics and human anatomy at the same time. This seemed unusual, especially as human anatomy was not a current topic at school. I asked him about it. I assume his response of 'baka-Vulkan' was quoting you. As his psychosomatic burns are sometimes yours rather than his own, I assumed he reached some level of persistent synchronisation with you. He made the observation that despite the heat your plugsuit had not gotten any tighter. It seemed an unusually precise observation at the time. It makes more sense now. He wondered how much heat would be required to answer your question from earlier that day. He was very distressed at the result of his calculation. It is fortunate that no such undertaking is necessary."

Asuka attempted to be angry that Shinji had been... what the hell would you call feeling someone up when they were just experiencing what you yourself felt? But something else had caught her attention.

"You said psychosomatic, he's not just remembering?"

"I keep burn treatments on hand for when it is severe. Do you not?"

Asuka sighs, "He keeps things stocked. So of course I wouldn't notice if we were using an unusual amount of burn cream. Even if I did, he'd probably just pretend he hurt himself cooking. Baka."

Asuka put her hands over her face. She was not getting emotional over this. 'baka-Vulkan indeed.' She did not notice Rei reaching out to her but withdrawing her hand before contact would have been made.

"Why did he do that? Jump in the volcano that is? I learned later that Misato ordered him not to but he did anyway. He does shit like that but he never stands up for himself."

"I do not believe his response will answer your question, but I can tell you what it was."

"How could I have done anything else? She needed me."

"baka" whispers Asuka.

"I am grateful he was successful. I would have missed the opportunity to become your friend."

"What would you have done?"

"At the time I would have followed orders."

"You'd just have let me die?!"

"Yes."

"What the hell Wondergirl! I thought you were my friend"

Rei tilts her head, calm in the face of Asuka's anger, "This is something friends would do? The loss of Pilot Ikari and Unit 01 could result in the deaths of many more people."

"Mein Gott, friends look after each other. If they are real friends."

"I am glad Pilot Ikari is your friend."

'The sky is blue' Asuka reminds herself. If there are hidden meanings in Rei's words she can't see them.

"I still want to be your friend," murmurs Rei barely loud enough for Asuka to hear.

'Friends don't steal each other's ...' Asuka's thoughts trip over each other. Shinji is her's. She doesn't know what that means. How is it stealing when you literally push them at each other? If they really are dating and sleeping with each other, is she the thief? How do either of them actually feel about Shinji? About each other? No Angel, Volcano or anything else is taking her baka from her. The same applies to Rei she realises. No matter how upset with either of them she is, she'll fight anything to keep them safe.

"Friends can be angry with each other. It doesn't stop them being friends."

"You are quoting Horaki-san?"

Asuka nods.

Rei takes that as the closest she's going to get to an acknowledgement of the existence of their friendship as she's going to get at this point, and goes back to the original question.

"He does not consider his own continued existence important. Particularly when making decisions that involve the protection of people he cares about. That there might be anyone who would be concerned for his injuries or miss him if he were gone."

"Like you, you mean?"

"I can be replaced. He cannot. Perhaps you would have more success persuading him of this than I have had."

'That's not what I meant. And how am I supposed to get through to him when I can barely talk to him? I'm supposed to do better than his girlfriend? At least he talks to you.' None of which she says out loud.

The Great Asuka was not afraid of anything. Just-Asuka hid behind her, afraid of a simple question. Strange-Asuka wanted to know everything, every touch, every sensation - how did it feel? was it enough? why didn't I feel it happen? what would it be like to do so?

Just-Asuka shoved Strange-Asuka behind the elephant in the room.

"Does he think I'm not good enough for him?"

Rei didn't actually know the answer to that question. At least it was a simpler question than the question Asuka might actually be asking. If she couldn't answer Asuka's question, she could lead her to the answer she needed.

"How is his cooking?"

"Why are you asking me that, Wondergirl? You know how great it is. Apparently the whole school knows how good you think it is after you stabbed someone with a chopstick to defend it."

"How good does he think it is?"

Asuka's irritation is stopped in its tracks, Hikari had said it was the one thing he knew he was good at...

"He only apologised for it once this week."

"I hear he plays the cello sometimes."

Asuka has no idea where Rei is going with this, but this is something she's proud of even if he isn't.

"You mean you've never heard him play? What sort of a crappy boyfriend is he being not to play for you? The first time I heard him play he played for an hour, a complex piece with multiple movements, from memory, and he was so absorbed by it he didn't even notice I was there."

Rei actually looks surprised - her eyebrows went up a full half a centimetre - Asuka is boasting about Shinji in the same way she does about herself.

"What did he say when he noticed you?"

Asuka's face falls, "Baka apologised for bothering me with his poor playing. Apparently he made a mistake in the second movement or something. Then claimed he still played because no one told him to stop. Why the hell would anyone tell him to stop?" Asuka is angry again, but not on her own behalf. Alright partly on her own behalf - someone might have deprived her of Shinji's playing.

"Do you think Shinji considers himself a teacher?"

Asuka snorts, "Sensei-Shinji?! Would anyone believe that?"

"Horaki-san cooks his recipes for her family. My residence is hygienic enough for meal preparation. Suzahara-san funds most of his dates using income from his lecture. You can read Kanji."

Asuka stares at Rei. She planned out detailed training plans, dragged baka swimming every day, and he just helped people by being himself. What the hell? Was there anything she didn't work hard for that he just did unconsciously? If she hadn't seen it, of course baka-Shinji hadn't either.

Once again, Wondergirl doesn't leave her alone with her thoughts for long.

"Compare what you know of his self-perception with someone he perceives as extremely aesthetically pleasing, outstandingly intelligent, highly skilled, brave, graceful, quick-witted, inspirational, caring, independent, socially adept, and even more stubborn than he is."

As Asuka followed one of the longest sentences she had ever heard her utter, she could almost think Rei was describing herself, but the absolute last thing Rei was is socially adept. She was also fairly sure Rei was making that last bit up though, Shinji wasn't that stubborn. Probably the caring bit too, there was a reason her mental notes on taking care of Rei had been labelled "What would baka-Shinji do?"

"Perhaps you could refocus your concern from whether he thinks you are good enough into proving his high opinion of you correct. I recommend putting some effort into convincing him he is worthy of you. You will not get what you want otherwise."

'What I want? What do you know about what I want Wondergirl? I don't know what I want. Except my baka back so I can fucking sleep.'

Asuka runs through questions she wants answers to. There's the obvious one of course, but she's still not sure she actually wants to know.

She settles on, "Why does the synchronisation with baka-Shinji end half an hour after he gets to your place?"

"Is it exactly 30 minutes?"

"What? No. He arrives. You hug him for five minutes. He starts doing something, usually cooking, and it fades out over the next five to twenty minutes. Today he took you lunch, so it was while you were eating."

"Interesting. Where is he now?"

"Lying on your bed. Where you left him." snaps Asuka in a rather accusing tone.

Rei watches Asuka for a minute, hoping her emotions weren't getting in the way of her thinking. She gives up.

"When I left, he was sorting food for what would need to be frozen in order to be safe to eat later. He had less sleep than you did. I recommended he try to rest."

"That's what he's doing in your bed?!"

"If he is in my bed, I assume that is why he went there. I am glad he felt able to do so. It is more comfortable than resting his head on the table."

"Why are you acting as if you don't know?!"

"Why are you acting as if you do?"

Asuka points angrily in the direction of Rei's apartment, "Because he's right..." she trails off, anger fading into confusion.

"How do I know that?! I can't feel him. I just know." Asuka is half talking to herself. "You knew didn't you?" The accusatory tone is back.

"Yes."

"How?"

Rei chooses the question she has an answer to, "He looks at you when he talks about you."

"That's normal though, to sometimes look at someone across the room when you think of them."

"According to my observation, he was accurate to within one hundred meters of your position in the Eva cages at a distance of eight point three seven kilometres. He did not seem to be aware he was doing this."

"What the hell Wondergirl? How does this even work?"

"I do not know. I hoped perhaps you did."

Asuka shakes her head, "Probably the only person with the knowledge to work it out is Akagi, and I trust her about as far as I could throw an Eva barehanded."

Strange-Asuka climbs over the elephant and shoves Just-Asuka in a closet.

"So how did it feel to sleep with baka-Shinji?" Asuka's tone is deceptively soft.

"Comfortable."

She doesn't want to know. She wants to know everything. Either way 'Comfortable' is not an acceptable answer.

"You had sex with Shinji and all you can say is 'Comfortable'?"

If Rei notices the sharp edge to Asuka's question, she shows no sign of it.

"I have not had sex with Pilot Ikari."

'The sky is blue. It was in the middle of the biggest rainstorm I've ever seen and the nearest patch of blue was probably the arse-end of the Pacific.'

"Yeah, next you're going to claim that you're not kissing him every time the sync fades."

Rei stares at Asuka. She has vastly underestimated the degree of misunderstanding Asuka is operating under. Shinji has taught her to try expressing herself. Smiling when she is happy seems to have worked particularly well. There is therefore an appropriate response to this situation.

"Fuck."

Rei adds, just loud enough for her own ears to hear, "I'm sorry Shinji" and then slaps Asuka across the face. Hard.

Asuka reaches up and touches the red mark appearing on her cheek, but before she can do more than open her mouth, Rei interrupts her.

"Pilot Soryu, I hope I now have your undivided attention. Listen carefully."

Any stray thoughts Asuka had remaining after Wondergirl had hit her were brushed aside by Rei's unexpectedly forceful tone.

"I have not engaged in any form of sexual activity with anyone. This includes Shinji.
"I have not kissed anyone. This includes Shinji.

"I had not considered engaging in either of these things until you ordered Shinji to have sex with me and accused me of kissing my friend.

"The one and only time I have lain next to him in the same bed, he moved away in fear if I accidentally touched him while he was awake. He woke often. The only other bed he has shared is yours.

"The only person he has kissed is you. During which he hurt you so badly you left for several days and refused to even talk to him for a week."

Rei pauses in her rant for a moment, before continuing in her more normal tone.

"A correction. I am aware of an occasion he kissed his mother. Then he watched her die."

Rei stalls for a moment. She never had a mother. The closest she had was the Doctors Akagi. The younger Akagi had inherited all of her mother's maternal instincts. She merely appeared to wish Rei was dead, as opposed to making her so. Shinji loved his mother, at least he did then, Rei wasn't sure he would later. Hurting Asuka had caused him to withdraw into himself for weeks.

"So now that you have given me an interest in experiencing kissing someone I care about, I cannot see a circumstance in which he would be willing. And you would have to be the person to arrange it."

Asuka grabs on to a passing thought, unconsciously hoping it will save her from drowning in her swirl of thoughts, feelings and waking nightmares. She does not take any time at all to think through the implications.

"A date?"

Of all the reactions Rei had predicted Asuka to have today, this was not on the list.

"A date?"

"Spending time together somewhere doing an activity you both enjoy. Relaxing. Getting comfortable with each other. The end of a date is a point it is appropriate to ask for a kiss, but not offensive if either side is not interested. No hand-holding in public though, people will think you are already married."

"Following social convention would make things more predictable. The approach may be viable. You would be willing to assist, Pilot Soryu?"

Asuka is still trying to work out what the hell is going on. One minute she was angry at Shinji and Rei for fucking, the next she's being asked to set up a date while trying very hard not to think of a number of things which were unpleasant for different reasons. And Rei is back to calling her Pilot Soryu after it felt like they were perhaps getting past that with all the weird questions. What her brain assembles makes sense - its relation to reality seems considerably less certain.

"So do I have this right, Wondergirl?"

"You want me to help you go on a date with Shinji, who everyone thinks is my boyfriend - including you - because you don't know how to ask correctly as he has apparently already turned down most of the girls in the class, including one of the lesbians who don't think we know, and you are doing this because you think I told him to fuck you, which I thought you were already doing."

"Yes", replied Rei sounding almost uncertain. The first part of Asuka's rant had been correct. The rest had been somewhat imprecise.

Rei attempts some corrections.

"I have heard eight of our female classmates, seven third years, and two of the five high school girls asking him on what could be considered a date. I believe I could formulate the question correctly. I did not witness Megumi's attempt, so perhaps the wording is different when asking girls."

Rei pauses to formulate the correct way to explain to Asuka why she can't do the otherwise obvious thing and just ask. Asuka has barely gotten past the confirmation of just how popular her little baka apparently is, before Rei taps her hand to make sure she has her attention.

"Rei cannot ask Shinji out on a date.
"Rei cannot ask her friend Asuka to organise a date for her with Asuka's husband.
"Pilot Ayanami can ask Pilot Sensei Soryu to plan and implement individualised social skills training for improved pilot communication.

'Which we definitely need, even if I did not now have this unexpected urge to compare how kissing you both would feel.'

Asuka is valiantly trying to keep up, "You can't ask Shinji on a date, but you hugged me every day for a month, because I was your friend, what sort of lie did you come up with to explain that one?"

"It is easier if I do not have to."

Rei slips back into her formal tone, "Pilot Soryu ordered an experiment. Pilot Ayanami determined that a precise application of pressure by a trusted individual would calm Pilot Soryu and significantly reduce the probability of damage to both critical equipment and Pilot Ikari. Pilot Ayanami incorporated this into her routine."

"So you only hug me so I don't break things?"

"Pilot Ayanami conducts damage control. Rei wants Asuka to hug her as long and often as possible."

Asuka snorts, "When did you learn sophistry?"

"March 15th 2013"

Asuka should have known better, but at least the simple answer gives her mind time to catch up with pieces of the conversation that hadn't initially caught her attention. Asuka had thought she was following Rei's leaps of logic.

"Wait a minute. Husband?!"

"I am unsure as to the correct term for your relationship."

'That makes two and probably three of us,' Asuka doesn't voice the thought but stares at Rei waiting for her to explain.

"After he returned, you stopped objecting to your friends calling you newlyweds.
"He has renounced his previous claim that I am his wife. I believe it is still appropriate to tease him about this as long as it is clear this is intended as humorous, as was his original statement.
"He has declared he is not dating you. This implies he is not your boyfriend in that sense.
"He has stated he does not want to be married at his current age, however he did not renounce your marriage claim."

"My what?!"

"Despite your repeated claims, he is not my boyfriend. You are the one who claimed him in front of his family."

"Commander-arsehole heard that?"

"As did Misato-san, his guardian. As did I. As did at least one hundred and fifteen other people - you were very loud, anyone in the cages or listening to what is picked up by the environmental microphones would have heard you."

"If he had been conscious enough to accept that is sufficient for a marriage proposal.

"You then took him to your home. You cooked for him. You invited him into your bed and he accepted.

"According to post Second Impact customs, you are married. Unlike some other cultures, sexual intercourse did not have to be witnessed or proven to have taken place."

Asuka is at a loss for words. No one could possibly believe they were actually married could they?

"Fuck."

"As I just explained, that is not necessary."

Asuka looks at Rei, who looks back calmly, finally Asuka gives in.

"We are not married Rei, no matter what old customs say, these days you have to sign paperwork.

"So you don't have to worry about asking me for help with your 'training session'".

"Very well. I look forward to partaking in your training program."

It finally occurs to Asuka what she's signed up for. This isn't "organise a date between her two friends and ignore how she feels about it", it's "plan out a plausible social training plan" which at a minimum is going to require ...

"Fuck."

"I would suggest not including that in the curriculum."

"So can I still ask you questions?"

"Yes. Although we may have to pause for food, sleep, school and the requirements of being pilots."

"Hang on. You mean it's not just for this conversation?"

"Pilot Ikari did not specify any time limitation."

'He really is an idiot. Trusting me with this. Scheiße, he's trusting me.'

"Why am I not allowed to visit you? Baka-Shinji is there almost every day."

"Pilot Soryu has no reason to visit Pilot Ayanami's place of residence.
"Pilot Ikari was instructed by Dr Akagi to deliver my replacement identification. He was instructed to improve my nutrition by Pilot-Sensei Soryu.

"I am only here because Pilot Ayanami is visiting Pilot Soryu to coordinate training activities.

"Plausible deniability again?"

"Yes."

Asuka yawned. On top of the heat, the conversation had been exhausting. Anger could have kept her going, but Rei had taken that from her with a simple request for a hug. Which she was no longer annoyed enough to refuse. Not that she was going to with Rei wearing that dress noted that annoying corner of her brain.

Rei got up and went to the phone. She had another thing to do she'd never done before. She dialled a number she had never needed previously.

"Asuka is about to take a nap. Please ensure you are somewhere this will not result in injury."

"Yes."

"Between thirty and sixty minutes."

"Why does he get a warning?" grumbled Asuka after she hung up.

"You were already lying down when he fell asleep. It was unnecessary."

"Once he is home, I suggest you assist him in moving the couch. You will sleep more comfortably with more room."

'The sky is blue'. Of course she'd sleep better with room to stretch out. Or room for her baka. Dammit. Rei knew exactly what she was saying. What kind of girl suggested someone else sleep with her not-a-boyfriend? Probably one that hadn't thought once, let alone twice, at pushing her not-a-boyfriend into the arms of the other.

Asuka sighed. Rei was right, she needed a nap. She had training to plan. That was something she was good at and it would take her mind off other things. If anyone called it a ridiculous name she'd have to kill them though.