Hikari watches her smiling friend approach and wonders what had happened now. She was used to Asuka's mood shifts, but going from carrying around her own personal rain cloud and snapping at anyone who got near, to being so perky she could have tried out for the cheer-leading squad the school didn't have, that raised more than a few questions. Paired with the determined look in her eyes this did not bode well for whomever she encountered. Unfortunately, this was about to be Hikari.
"So did you sleep with Shinji or Ayanami?"
Asuka replied in a deadpan that would have done Rei proud, "Shinji, but only after Rei had worn me out."
Hikari choked on her lunch.
Asuka handed her a bottle of water and placed an orange bento box on the desk in front of Hikari.
After she had recovered, Hikari opened the box to check its contents.
"Peace offering or bribe to not repeat what you just said?"
"Can it be both? And you don't want to start that rumour anyway or you'll have to give Kensuke his white flag back."
"So what is the actual cause of that ridiculous smile on my grumpy friend?"
Asuka stretches, "Sleep! Glorious uninterrupted dreamless sleep!"
'Well, that explains both the Shinji comment and the way she's been acting. Something else is going on though.'
Hikari closed up the remains of the lunch she had brought. It wouldn't be wasted, it would vanish as soon as she handed the box to Toji. "So what's going on that you waited until the classroom was deserted for lunch and you felt you needed to corner me? Apparently after talking Shinji into making my favourite lunch."
Asuka sits down next to her and starts picking at her own food.
"I can't believe I am asking you this Hikari, but I need help organising a date."
"After last time? I'm surprised you asked. Besides, we all know you're already dating Shinji, no one is going to risk getting between you."
Asuka growls, "We. Are. Not. Dating.
"And last time and baka-Shinji are why I'm asking for help.
"So you are planning a date with Shinji?"
"No, Rei"
Hikari raises an eyebrow, "So that's why you're so happy?"
"What? Argh. No! That came out wrong."
"Are you sure about that? It doesn't look like it to me"
Asuka returns her friend's grin with a death glare. "It's not like that."
Hikari takes a bite of her new improved lunch and waits for Asuka to explain.
Asuka chooses her words carefully. She's not going to lie to her friend, but she's they are in school and the possibility they might be overheard is there. That there's certain things she'd not willing to admit to yet doesn't come into it.
"Rei wants to experience a date. The idiot is the only person I'd trust to not take advantage of her. You know how disastrous my one and only date was, and baka-Shinji's never been on one at all."
"Well I know that's not true, he's been on at least one, it wasn't quite as bad as yours - for which I am still sorry - but it did not end well." Hikari seems amused.
"Now I need to know. So he doesn't screw up with Rei the same way."
"Oh, I can pretty much guarantee that isn't going to happen. Unless you're taking up waitressing in your spare time."
Asuka blinks, "Spill it Hikari. Obviously it was bad enough that he doesn't want to tell me about it. But it can't have been that bad or you wouldn't be looking so amused. Anyway, how did anyone manage to successfully ask him out? I know he's turned down or not even noticed dozens of requests. Apparently Rei's been counting them."
"Well, apparently it helps if you're a lesbian."
"Wait. What? Chihiro successfully asked him out?"
"No, Megumi did on Chihiro's behalf. And he'd seen recent evidence of how well 'asking for a friend' could go, " Hikari looks apologetic, "So he turned her down of course. It took both of them and a comprehensive explanation as to why before he agreed."
"So you're telling me that the only time Shinji's been out with anyone was a fake date as a lesbian's beard?"
"Beard?" Hikari looks confused
"You know. A straight person who pretends to be with a gay one so they can stay under the radar. I don't know what the Japanese term would be.
"Asuka, how many gay couples have you seen here?
"Other than those two? Now you mention it, none."
"So how would I know what the term is when it's dangerous to even suggest you might need one?
"I get it. So Chihiro needs a male date to cover for the fact that she's got a girlfriend, and they ask baka-Shinji because of course he's a safe person to ask, he'd be scared to touch her and there's no one he'd tell about what was actually going on. I'm assuming from her family, as we all know about them.
"Apparently Shinji didn't know. And they didn't know we know, they thought they were hiding it. 'Close girl friends' is a common thing, but apparently their families were getting suspicious that they were a little too close."
"If they wanted to hide it, they should have noticed that the upstairs bathrooms are not very soundproof." Hikari stares at her in shock, Asuka realises Hikari didn't know that bit, "I didn't hear anything. You didn't hear anything. You were telling me about this date."
"They went to that little ice cream place near school - nice and visible so it would be obviously a date and obvious that nothing inappropriate happened. Apparently everything was going well, except their waitress was a friend of Megumi. Who thought Chihiro was cheating on Megumi with Shinji. They ended up wearing their ice cream..."
Asuka laughed, "Ok. I still think mine was worse, but his was funnier"
"Ok, so no ice cream on the date. And I've already ruled out most movies.
"Movies are a good date, what's wrong with them?
"Flashbacks to having your guts torn out and your arms chopped off are not conducive to a good date - so that excludes anything with explosions, screaming and blood as far as the baka is concerned.
Hikari blanches.
"You and I would get a laugh out of a RomCom, but baka-Shinji would be terminally embarrassed and Rei might take something literally. No one wants to deal with that."
Asuka gestures at the window, "It's too hot out there to do much, and we're not allowed as far as the beach."
"What about swimming? There's an open-air pool, the air would be cooler and there's water to cool off in. Unless you don't want him seeing her in a bikini?" Hikari can't help teasing her friend.
Asuka rolls her eyes, "He's not allergic to water anymore, but after the number of times I've made him swim I'm not sure he'd consider it enjoyable."
"I think we're going to need longer than the rest of lunch to work this out. Especially as I am going to finish the rest of your bribe before the bell."
"No problem, if you're free I'll treat you to dinner somewhere we can talk."
"No, come over, Dad's working late and Nozomi would love to see her second favourite pilot."
"Second?! Don't tell me he's better than me there too?"
Hikari laughs, "Not this time. He made the mistake of showing her a picture of Ayanami ... I spent a week trying to convince her that we wouldn't be able to dye her hair that shade of blue."
"No, you can only get that colour naturally," Asuka promptly decides that her bento is far more interesting and if she has food in her mouth she is unlikely to say anything else incriminating.
"See you after school then?" Hikari makes no attempt whatsoever to hide her smirk.
"It might be a bit later. We've another of Akagi's tests to sit through this afternoon, might be an hour, might be ten."
"Call me when you're on your way then? Or if you know you can't make it."
Their classmates are filing back in as Asuka returns to her seat to wait out the time until the pilots can leave.
"Hi Kaede," Asuka smiles cheerfully, "You missed two girls from 3A, one from 3C, and three girls from Hakone High. Oh, and Megumi."
Asuka had already sat down at her desk in front of Shinji before Kaede caught on. She quickly decided there were questions she did not want to ask.
Notes: Credit to 'Doing It Right This Time' for Chihiro and Megumi (on a03, sorry no direct link as FFN eats them)