Shinji knew he sounded like he was whining, but Asuka was being unreasonable.

"I can't wash all that tonight Asuka. Why can't you just pick something?"

"You know nothing about girls clothing," snapped Asuka.

Shinji refrained from pointing out that he'd been washing hers since the day after she arrived and was well aware of what her favourite pieces were given how often he'd washed them. He also knew which were the most comfortable, which she chose to show off her figure and that Rei wouldn't care what she was wearing as long as it wasn't so bulky she couldn't hug Asuka. He'd seen some heavy winter coats that Rei couldn't manage to wrap her arms around, but if they were ever allowed far enough to be somewhere it actually snowed, they'd probably be more concerned about Rei's aim in a snowball fight.

He watched the growing pile as Asuka rooted through her closet with a sense of despair. Even when she eventually decided on something, she'd probably want half the rest washed after being in a pile on the floor anyway.

He saw a flash of green.

"Not that one." He regretted opening his mouth immediately.

"You can't tell me what to wear, baka," fumed Asuka at high volume.

Shinji shrugged. If she really wanted to wear that ... he might have to accidentally spill bleach on it and deal with the consequences.

"What's wrong with this anyway?" Asuka finally looked at what she was holding. "Ugh. Why do I even still have this? How did you even recognise it?"

Shinji's brain has apparently abdicated its responsibility over his mouth, "You wore it for your date. Even you struggled to look beautiful in it. I don't know how you found something that clashes with your eyes and your hair. You stripped it off and kicked it into a corner when you got home. And it itches."

Asuka glared at him for several seconds then collapsed on the pile of clothing, guaranteeing that it would require washing.

"Alright smartarse, what should I wear?"

Shinji was fairly sure he didn't want to touch that question, but Asuka was actually looking at him expectantly.

He rubbed his head nervously, "Did you actually want my opinion or just an excuse to yell at me?"

He'd really like to know what his brain was doing, as it had apparently absconded with what little sense of self-preservation he had.

She threw the wadded up green monstrosity at him, "I asked, baka."

He dodged absently, 'oh. like that then. alright. what would Rei do? other than abandon him to deal with Asuka. reduce the size of the problem. sort things by the appropriate category. Rei kept an even more structured kitchen than he did. So what categories did girls clothing need? For wearing, not washing.'

"Go through the pile one thing at a time, it doesn't matter what it is, the only decision you are making is if the item you are holding is too hot to wear outside. Left is too hot, Right is anything else."

"How's that supposed to help?" Asuka got up and started going through the pile anyway.

A few minutes later, the main pile wasn't much smaller, but it was smaller.

'What next? Well, the other end of things, given what Asuka was currently wearing.'

"Same thing, except left is things you can't wear in public."

This time went a lot slower, Asuka started examining things and holding them up to herself. Which was distracting as the thin sleep shirt she was wearing would definitely qualify for the discard pile. At least if she'd still been wearing a bra under it he wouldn't be quite so conscious of every time a new garment touched her. He certainly wasn't going to say anything, but he was tempted to go and pee standing up just to remind her.

"Asuka, you aren't throwing things out, you're deciding what to wear tomorrow in time for me to wash it. So the slightest doubt and it goes in the left pile."

Finally an Asuka who looked as impatient as he felt turned to him.

"Well?"

"Three piles. Training with Ayanami, Date with Rei, Neither." That was the best subcategory list he could come up with.

"It. is. not. a. date." hissed Asuka.

"Then you only need one pile," he snapped back.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"You are."

There is only one door in the apartment that slams.

Notes: The following scene is split out because it contains suicidal themes. Nothing worse than canon, but you might want to skip to "Aftercare" if this could be an issue for you.