I don't own digimon.

Story 87

They belong in a museum

Triceramon didn't know what to make of the predicament they found themselves in. Clearly, the digital world had a sense of humor. But that was judging by the fact that they were in some kind of dinosaur exhibit. Placed right next to what they could only assume to be an animatronic variant, how exactly would he explain this to their partner? They were not one to go around museums. Especially ones that were insistent on shoving robots into everything. While they were in agreement on the overuse of robots, Triceramon honestly thought that they were being a touch of a downer when it came to not going to museums. Or going outside in general. There was tons of stuff to like about the outside world, but that was asking too much from them. Oh well. Not the end of the world here, but a part of the triceratops digimon hoped that things would be different now.

Shoving that thought away, Triceramon looked over the exhibit. Done up in some kind of faux jungle environment, there was something calming about it. Until one realized that the only sounds you got were silence. Maybe footsteps, but there was no way that anyone was actually watching this part of the museum… right? The price of this technology had to have gone down in the years since they and their partner had last visited a museum. Why else would people go out of their way to use it? That made perfect sense in his mind. Whether or not it actually was the case, remained to be seen. In Branaka, we mostly just use replicas. Momma Kitty kind of forced the museums to give a good chunk of the stuff back to the people that it was taken from. It's not a perfect solution, but it's better than the actual British museums.

"Hey! What are you doing in the display?!" a voice announced, bringing a swift end to this discussion on museum displays. Triceramon looked in the direction of the voice, doing their best to meet it in the dark. Clearly that of a security guard, they were not happy that a digital triceratops had managed to get into the dinosaur enclosure. To be fair, the digital world thought this was the peak of comedy. Which is why you should never ask it for joke ideas. Nothing that you could get from the entity/entities in charge of this process is even close to good in the slightest. No, you're better off just asking a digimon for their preference of jokes. Though, that might not be a good idea. Uh… just pretend that I said nothing about it.

"I uh… honestly don't know. Could you maybe direct me to the exit?" Triceramon announced, only to have a flashlight light shined in front of them. Gingerly approaching, the triceratops digimon took care in getting out of the display. Now on the museum floor, they were met with that of carpets. Done up in a pattern pulled straight out of the nineties, that just raises further questions. Questions not easily answered. Nor will we likely ever know. Instead, Triceramon's focus shifted to the security guard. A man, he seemed quite confused to find a digimon of all things in the middle of one of the exhibits.

"First off, I need to detain you for trespassing." the security guard announced and was met with a confused look from Triceramon. He did realize that they could easily kill him and then hide his body? It would be quite a simple task too. Just stab him with his horns and then throw the body into the exhibit. Perhaps rip up his clothes too. That would very much sell the illusion long enough for them to get their ass out of here. Though, such an act would likely result in them going to jail. A fate their partner wouldn't want in the slightest.

"Uh… how exactly do you plan to do that?" Triceramon inquired as he took a seat on the carpet. By no means awful, the quality did leave a touch to be desired on his lower half. But that could be looked past here.

"I'm not actually certain. Do you have any ideas?" the security guard answered and got a look from his 'captive'. He was very much aware how silly that question sounded. In his own defense, it wasn't every day that a dinosaur digimon just showed up in one of the Science Center's exhibits. Hopefully the security cameras had caught exactly how this digimon had gotten in here in the first place. If not, he would just have to go off of the testimony given.

"I'm not particularly certain why you're asking me of all people. Don't you have people you can contact through your walkie-talkie?" Triceramon countered and was met with a stunned expression. Was this really that hard of a concept to grasp? Perhaps. That, or this place had hired this particular guard for their scariness rather than their brains. If that was the case, the bar was absolutely set far too low. Triceramon had seen numemon scarier than this guy. Which is honestly saying something when you consider the scariness factor of a numemon. Makes you wonder where Triceramon's human partner is on that scale. Probably above the numemon and this guy. Though, I absolutely could be wrong about that. Wouldn't be the first time I was off by a country mile.

"Oh yeah. I forgot about that." the security guard announced and pulled his walkie-talkie off his belt. Holding it up to his ear, he took the time to actually press the right buttons to talk into it. Considering that his initial intention was to just ask his captive how to keep him from running off, I guess you could call it 'an improvement'. In the same way that dying instantly is far better than a slow, brutal death. Both options suck and it comes down to personal preference (dumb as that sounds), but you're likely to want one over the other. "Yes, I just caught some kind of dinosaur digimon trespassing in one of the dinosaur museums. What should I do about them?"

Triceramon shot the security guard a look. The least he could have done was ask for his name. But no, that was asking far too much from him here. Instead, he was just going to be referred to as a 'dinosaur digimon' until their partner showed up. At best, it probably would only be a couple hours. At worst, they were going to be stuck in a holding cell for a couple days. Likely with no in-between. Because of course there wasn't. Not that one would find anything different in the digimon equivalent. If they had museums.

"Okay. I'm going to need to wait with you for the next couple hours. Do I make myself clear, dinosaur digimon?" the security guard announced and Triceramon rolled their eyes. This was certainly better than nothing here, but not by much. They were a big enough digimon to be okay on their own. This security guard on the other hand, very much needed supervision. Whether by him or the possible cameras, the triceratops digimon couldn't say for certain. Not that it mattered in the grand scheme of things.

"You do realize I have a name… right?" Triceramon announced, watching the security guard's face glaze over. Of course that was the reaction they got here. One of genuine surprise and/or terror was asking a touch too much here. No, they instead needed something else far more dumber here. This was really becoming an annoying pattern right now. Hopefully, the coming hours will be easier. They absolutely wouldn't, but wishful thinking and/or optimism was good for the digicore. Or something along those lines.

"Wait. You do?" the security guard announced and met Triceramon's gaze. While the temptation to commit murder very much was there, Triceramon ignored the urges echoing about his head. There was little use in actually going through with that. Better to stay on this moron's good side than to commit violence in the hopes of escaping. "It's uh… uh… Dinosaurmon."

It took everything in Triceramon's power not to laugh. Really? That was the best that this idiot could come up with here? He had to have seen their horns… right? There was three of them for fuck's sake. Sadly, they forgot to teach all about this particular kind of dinosaur. Or about dinosaurs in general. Perhaps that was why our idiot of a security guard was here. To learn all the things he should've learned when he was younger. That had to be it. Nothing else really fits here. At least, in a cohesive way.

"Triceramon. As in the dinosaur Triceratops. I'm fairly certain you've heard of them… right?" Triceramon explained and got a confused look from the security guard.

"We don't have any of those here. Want to be hired to pretend to be one?" the security guard suggested and Triceramon looked away. He did realize just how stupid he sounded… right? They were living data. Zeroes and Ones made manifest in such a way that they had become sentient. Very much not designed for being gawked at by morons like this one. Had that too been skipped by this idiot. Most likely. It was actually kind of pitful if you thought about it.

"I don't think you're the one in charge of hiring people though…" Triceramon countered, trying their hardest to remain composed in the face of the amount of bullshit they were facing here. Hopefully that amount will soon be reduced. I highly doubt it, though.

"But I could put in a good word for you. That amounts to something… right?" the security guard explained and Triceramon rolled his eyes. Just when they thought it couldn't get any dumber, the security guard managed to dig himself deeper. Even if such a position existed, they probably wouldn't hire a digimon caught trespassing… right? Having a criminal record would be a major detriment to proper employment. Not that they had anything in the way of references or past employers to pull from. Not that the museum would look at that stuff… right? The last time they had asked their partner about that stuff, they were treated to a sigh.

"It's more for the illusion of looking professional." they explained and Triceramon nodded. In this situation, the triceratops digimon got what they meant about that. Didn't make it any easier in the face of everything they were facing here. If anything, it made things that much harder. What they would give for their partner to just show up and solve this situation. Or at least, smooth things over so they could go on their merry way. Either outcome was better than this.

"I'm not interested." Triceramon countered and was treated to a confused look from his audience.

"Think of the pay and benef-" the security guard started, only to be cut off by the ringing of an alarm. Looking in the direction of the alarm, one could make out a clown trying to pocket rare copies of Peter Pan. Look to be a first edition copy. Wait. This is a Science Center! Why the fuck do they have books. Especially so close to the dinosaur section of all parts? Doesn't matter. It's not a big enough deal to dwell on.

"Shouldn't you go and deal with that thief?" Triceramon suggested, only to be treated to a look here. Oh dear. That definitely is not the reaction that you want to see here. But that kind of goes without saying in this strange, wacky situation that our triceratops digimon finds himself in. Though, nothing about this could be considered normal in the slightest.

"This is clearly a distraction for you to get away, isn't it?!" the security guard announced, catching our wannabe thief by surprise. Heading over, they take the opportunity to bitch slap this idiot for suggesting something dumb. In doing so, that allowed the security guard to catch him. Managing to handcuff that moron, that leaves us right back at where we started with Triceramon. Okay, you could argue that some progress has been made. But not by much. Instead of having one entity to keep track of, there were now two. While doubling something was normally a good thing, this was not one of those cases. If anything, the doubling probably made this worse. Not only does this idiot have a Triceramon to keep track of, he also has this book thief of a clown as well.

"Hey! Why were you stealing books?" Triceramon announced and got an eye roll from the book thief. I'm not particularly certain what they expected to get from this idiot. Some kind of proper answer? An explanation for this strange behavior. No, all you're getting is a cocky asshole. Slightly better than the moron of a security guard, but not by much.

"Because I need to get back there! Back to the Nexusworld!" the book thief announced and got a look from their companions. Oh right. That's what they decided to name it for the United States. What an odd decision. Wait. Does this mean that all copies of Peter Pan just have Nexusworld instead of Neverland? Weird. What a strange divergence. I wonder what could've caused that to occur. Oh well. Not worth dwelling on.

"Uh… you want to go back to the place where the crazy woman kidnapped a bunch of people and held them hostage?" the security guard announced and got a look from Triceramon. Oh. Now you've found your sense. Good to know it took as long as it did to do something that isn't stupid. Nor does it rectify the previous behavior in the slightest. If anything, that just makes it worse. At any point you could've been hit with a moment of clarity and you decide that this of all times was the perfect time to get hit.

"Yes. Adult life sucks!" the book thief announced and Triceramon shot them a look. Clearing their throat, a sigh escaped the triceratops digimon mouth. Where to even begin here. I don't know, maybe with the fact that this isn't a magic bullet of a solution that this moron thinks it is.

"What about adult life sucks for you?" Triceramon inquired and got a shrug from the book thief. Because that totally answers the question… not. If anything, being shifty is only to cause more problems in the long run. All the more reason

"I hate my job, I hate my kids and I just want to pretend like I have no obligations!" the book thief announced as they shifted their oversized pants.

"Do you realize that there is such a thing as 'vacations'?" Triceramon countered and got yet another eye roll from the book thief. If you didn't know any better, one would think they were dealing with a teenager and not an adult. Not that it makes a lick of difference.

"They don't give me vacation time. So I'm going to take vacation time from them!" the book thief announced, only to get handcuffed around his legs too for good measure. Just in case the first set wasn't enough here. Even if there was still the matter of his mouth and the books.

"That's not how you steal vacation time…" Triceramon announced as the lights came on. Breathing a sigh of relief, their gaze turned to that of a nearby hallway. There, a person in a suit was heading towards them. Clearly not happy that one of the alarms had been triggered, their gaze was more on Triceramon than the security guard or the book thief. "Ezekiel, is that you?"

Ezekiel nodded, coming to a stop in front of their partner. Giving Triceramon a pet, their attention shifted to the security guard and our dear book thief. Today was going to be one of those days, wasn't it. Oh well. All the more reason to power through for the sake of the museum and its possible patrons.

Harlequin's Note:

This better not be leading into Miguel... fml.