I sent a letter with Choza to Shikaku explaining that I would not be joining in on group meetings anymore. I considered telling him in person, but...
What if he's disappointed in me? Or he tries to talk me into going again? It's better this way.
I also told my Team what I would be doing with time.
"Now kids, I know you'll miss me terribly-"
"Nah, we're fine." Naruto cut in. I continued speaking over him.
"-but I'm afraid I have plans this Wednesday."
"Probably just reading more of those pervy books." he pouted.
"Naruto! Shush!" Sakura smacked the back of his head, then turned to bow to me. "I'm so sorry about him, Kakashi-sensei. What important mission will you be on?"
"No mission, just plans with a friend."
"I knew it was going to be something lame! How am I supposed to become the strongest ninja ever without a real teacher!?"
Naruto was shouting again. Sakura's withering glare silenced him, barely. Sasuke sighed impatiently from behind them both before speaking.
"Is that all?"
"Yes, I just wanted you three to know you'll largely have Wednesdays off. You're welcome."
Sakura was sparkling with excitement. She turned towards Sasuke, smiling shyly.
"Since we're going to be off, would you like to do some team building?"
He left without answering, leaving Sakura deflated. Naruto answered instead.
"I'll do team building exercises with you, Sakura-chan~."
"In your dreams, loser."
She ran off in the direction Sasuke had taken.
"Aww…."
Naruto sulked away towards the ramen shop. I smiled to myself.
I hope they never change. All in all, I think that went well. At least they aren't planning to follow me.
I decided to pop into the local tea shop before heading to Shibi's. I wasn't exactly a regular customer, but I wanted to find something close to what I had tried with him last week. My sense of smell is too strong to visit places like this regularly, they almost always give me a headache. I was standing in the corner lifting different tins of tea to my nose when the clerk joined me.
I'm not sure exactly which blend he had, but this one smells similar.
"How can I help you today, sir?"
The clerk spoke up a bit too loudly, confident in his familiarity with his wares.
"I think I found what I'm looking for here."
"Ah, our house blend of oolong. Best served hot and with just a little honey, in my personal opinion."
"Sounds like the one for me."
The clerk gestured at the other tins on the shelf near me.
"Just so you know, the blue tin has tea that's great for encouraging relaxation and deeper sleep. You look like you could use it."
Hey, what is that supposed to mean?
"And that green tin is for gathering strength and increasing stamina."
Are they paid commission here? I already have what I wanted.
The scent of mint wafted over from the green tin as he opened it to show me.
"Thanks, but I think this is the only one I'll be getting."
I shook the tin in my hand but he continued, ignoring me and opening the yellow tin for me to see. The scent of dandelion and ginger gently mingled with the other smells already in the room.
"The yellow tins over here are all great for your immune system. Remember: a cup of tea a day keeps the doctor away!"
That is not how the saying goes.
"And that red tin in the corner is a tea that's a potent aphrodisiac."
He popped it open and the strong smell of something warm and cinnamon-adjacent overpowered me. I leaned back against the wall to steady myself and waved him away with my hand.
Alright, that's too much.
"Just this one, please."
"Are you sure you don't want…?"
His eyes drifted back towards the red tin.
"Only the oolong. Thank you." I answered firmly.
It does smell delicious…
"Suit yourself. That last one is one of our best sellers."
I bet.
I exited the store with my tin, head buzzing from the scent of the red tea. I felt as if I had done something illicit by purchasing a gift for a friend from a place that's so fixated on…more than friendly intentions.
I wonder if that's where he buys from?
The image of the clean-cut and rigid man being accosted by a sales clerk trying to sell him aphrodisiac teas made me smile.
Probably not.
I was still smiling when I reached his front door.
"Kakashi. Please, come in. I trust that you've been well?"
"Yeah, thanks for having me."
"It's kind of you to use the front door this time."
"The back entrance was such a good time last time that I almost didn't."
Phrasing! I don't think he caught it, thankfully. I blame the tea clerk.
I held up the tin between us, hoping to rush the conversation along before my bad joke sank in.
"I brought this."
His brow raised in surprise.
"You didn't have to bring me anything, but I appreciate it. Thank you."
He walked along in front of me until we reached his kitchen, where he filled a teapot with water before setting it on the stove.
"Which kind did you get?"
"I'm not exactly sure. I went to the tea shop a couple streets over. Apparently it's their 'house blend of oolong'."
"That's where I usually shop too. We must have similar tastes."
He opened a cabinet near the stove revealing several of the same tins from the teashop, one of which was partially open. The scent of the red tin's tea flooded the kitchen, blanketing the room in its heady perfume. I felt myself blush as I thrust the tin in my hands towards him, holding it at arm's length as if it was something shameful.
It's just tea. Don't think about the smell, or the clerk, or Shibi owning it and
…it was open, so he has to have tried it. Don't think about…
His fingertips brushed against mine as he took the tin from me. My brain short circuited and then reset. I leaned against a nearby wall and watched him boil the water, focusing on my own breathing to regain my composure. Every breath brought me deeper into the cloud of the red tea.
Focus, focus…this is just like that one scene in my book. The hero was deep undercover behind enemy lines when he was drugged with a truth serum. The enemy, suspecting his motives, slipped it into his food right along with the other spices. He couldn't break cover, but he couldn't stop himself from saying every true thing that popped into his head, so he started confessing his love for the very woman that had drugged him.
I glanced around the room, grounding myself in every detail that I could fixate on. His kitchen was immaculate, all surfaces shone as if freshly scrubbed and polished. The light was bright, bordering on harsh, and no dust hid in the corners. He stood calmly in front of his stove watching the water come to a boil. A beetle had crawled up from his coat to rest on his shoulder. It seemed to be watching me as I subtly shifted to readjust my stance against the wall.
If I remember right, his confession went so well that she then put his mouth to other uses until the truth drug wore off, and his cover was safe. That was such a steamy chapter, and with the other villains right outside the door, too…
"Kakashi?"
I jumped, suddenly very aware of my position in space and the heat in my cheeks.
"Sorry, I must have zoned out for a moment." I answered sheepishly.
"I asked which kind of tea would you like?"
His finger trailed along the top of the tins, resting on the edge of the red one as he looked at me.
Not that one! I mean, he is a certain kind of charming. He's reserved, strict, has a good head on his shoulders…No, I had still better not.
"Dealer's choice?"
He pulled a lilac colored tin down and tipped a few spoonfuls of the loose leaves into the pot, finally choosing the cabinet. The scent of the red tea began to dissipate. I shifted uncomfortably, still very aware of the physical effect that it had had on me. I crossed one leg over the other and shifted, hoping to hide the visible result of its scent.
"Lavender and chamomile today, then. Very soothing."
"Sounds perfect."
He set the teapot and two mugs on a tray and nodded for me to follow him outside. I wanted to run out ahead of him, so desperate was I for clean, fresh air. Instead, I followed a few steps behind him, willing my body to calm. The influence of the scent faded quickly, leaving me drained from the effort of restraining my own thoughts. Shibi sat in the same seat as last time.
"Chilly today, isn't it?"
I sank into the chair on the other side of the table.
"Yeah, and getting colder every day."
He sipped his tea while looking out over the lawn.
If he's looking away so that I can drink too, I could just give him permission to see me. I am a guest at his home. I don't want to put him through more trouble.
I opened my mouth to tell him that his consideration wasn't necessary.
Then again, with the way my body was behaving a moment ago, I'm not sure that this is the time I want him to start looking at me.
So instead, I sipped my drink and slid my mask back into place between swallows. We sat quietly together and listened to the wind moving through the brittle, drying autumn leaves. Shibi's cup was empty before he spoke again.
"I wasn't sure you would want to join me today. I know I'm not much of a conversationalist."
"Nonsense, spending time with you is nice. Thank you for inviting me."
"Many people are also unsettled by…"
He fixed his eyes on mine for a second and then raised his arm in front of him, allowing his sleeve to fall down halfway to his elbow. Several of his beetles crawled out of his arm to inspect the new source of light. A soft breeze blew past us, and their antenna stiffened. A group of three of them flew off to the tree I had landed in during my last visit.
"Not at all."
It does make me feel very watched…but I'm on alert everywhere else too. It's not because of the bugs.
He searched my face intently for a long moment, then his features softened gently and he relaxed back into his chair, hands clasping his empty mug. We dropped into a companionable silence again. I had almost finished my tea when Shino burst excitedly out of the back door.
"Father, I have news about my next mission. I'll be heading to the-oh! Greetings, Kakashi-sensei."
He seemed much more boisterous at home, much more comfortable than at school. He was surrounded by a thick cloud of his own beetles, which buzzed around his head as if sharing his excitement. As soon as he noticed me the whole cloud shot down the back of his coat and disappeared. His posture straightened, and his tone was restrained than before.
"Hello, Shino."
I smiled reassuringly, raising a hand to him. He did not look reassured.
"I didn't mean to interrupt your meeting with my father, I'll just…"
He moved to step back towards the door.
"You aren't interrupting anything, please don't let me stop you."
I smiled invitingly. He hovered, unsure of his next step. Shibi spoke up.
"You have news about your next mission?"
Shino's face lit up with excitement as he started to fill his father in. Shibi watched him tenderly, asking questions every time there was a pause. Shino answered each one, his chest swelling with the importance of his Big Mission™. It was actually quite a small affair, he's going to be part of a team recovering a missing item for a low ranking noble barely two villages away. But it's apparently the first time he's been so far from home. Watching Shino chattering away happily at home while his father watched on made me feel warm, in a different way than the tea. Shibi reached out a hand, patting his son's head gently.
"I'm so proud of you, son. I'm sure you'll do great."
"I'll try hard to earn your pride, Father."
Did I ever sound like that?
I thought for a moment, running my childhood interactions with my dad through my mind.
I definitely did.
I began to feel uncomfortable, like I was witnessing something private. They're forming a memory I have no right to be part of. Shino bowed to his father, then to me.
"I'll be taking my leave now, I have to pack."
"So I heard. It sounds like this mission is in very capable hands."
"Thank you, Kakashi-sensei."
Shino grinned as he stepped quickly back inside, full of more energy than I've had for a long time.
He's as serious as his father when he's at school. It's easy to forget that he's just a child.
"Kids." Shibi sighed after Shino had been gone for several seconds.
"Yeah…" I answered, not really sure what he meant.
"I'm sure your students keep you at least this busy. I could never handle three."
You have no idea.
"You seem to be doing well with this one."
He tilted his head to the side again, a tick that was beginning to be familiar to me.
It seems to mean that I've touched something sensitive.
"It's good to hear that you think so. It's been hard…"
The implied "alone" was deafening. I wasn't sure how to answer him.
I can't relate to being a single parent at all, but…
"You're certainly doing a better job than my own father was at that age."
Shibi's eyebrows came together in concern.
Shit. I meant that to be more of a 'you're doing comparatively good', not a 'woe is me, my childhood was hard'.
"Thank you."
Maybe it was fine.
I think that might be the first time I've mentioned my dad to anyone in years…Actually, I'm sure it was. Why is it so easy to slip up around him?
We watched the leaves rustle for another hour in silence. His expression smoothed into restful relaxation after a few minutes, but a strange energy hung over both of us that made further conversation impossible. I rose and cleared my throat.
"So, see you next week?"
"You're always welcome here, Kakashi."
The sincerity of his reply caused my heart to stutter.
I'm not going to think about that.