CW: Smut

The next three nights were sleepless. I laid in bed for hours at a time, counting the cracks in the ceiling as my house settled around me. Every time I closed my eyes I felt myself filled with frenetic energy. Every time I opened them, I was beset by anxiety that I could not soothe away. I managed to survive on four hours of sleep per night until the fourth night, when I gave up entirely. Instead, I opted to settle in a comfortable chair in my living room with a book and a stiff drink. I wanted to reread that scene I had been thinking of in Shibi's kitchen.

But of course I can't just start there. You have to read the whole story to really enjoy the scene. I mean, there are reasons he can't just leave the situation. And of course he couldn't confess his feelings without the truth serum. It makes total sense in context.

I could feel myself reading more quickly as the scene approached, my breath quickened as I skimmed over establishing chapters. I drank a third of my drink as I skimmed, savoring its dry tang. Finally, I reached my favorite part. The truth serum was tipped into the hero's food, and he began his confessions.

"I've always found you beautiful. Your voice, your composure, the power you command in every room you enter. It's everything I've ever wanted in a woman."

"Is that so? You certainly know how to flatter. If that's really how you feel, then approach me."

I downed half of what remained of my drink, shivering as the alcohol reached my brain. I shifted my book into my left hand and let my right hand travel down my body, resting between my legs.

"What are you doing, silly boy? I didn't say to walk. Crawl, if you truly wish to serve me."

I dropped to my knees, feeling myself hit the cold stone below me slightly harder than I meant to. I crawled towards her, kneeling before her throne.

I began rubbing myself slowly through my pants, feeling myself stiffen as I savored the slow build of heat.

She opened her legs and rolled her skirt up, bringing herself to the edge of the chair. She rested her hand on my head, pulling me towards her. I leaned in, ready to put my mouth to use for better purposes than speech.

I slipped my pants down slightly, just enough to free myself, and closed my eyes. I allowed myself to imagine the feeling of being in that scene while I moved my hand up and down my length.

But on which side? Would I rather be the confident villain, with a handsome man staring up at me who is desperate to please me?

I closed my book and set it to the side, focusing on the feeling. My length began to twitch in my hand.

The idea of holding someone's head between my legs and using them for my own pleasure is…

I shuddered, exhaling slowly as my hand moved.

But equally pleasing is the idea of crawling to someone powerful, someone in control, someone who knows what they want and has chosen me to take it from…

I doubled over myself, almost overcome by the shock of pleasure this image brought me. I squeezed my eyes shut, adding depth to the idea as I started to move my hand faster, building pressure with every pass.

I want to please someone, to feel their strong hands fisted in my hair as they slowly come undone for me. I want to taste someone…someone tall, with dark hair and dark eyes. Someone in control. Someone like…ah~!

I let out a moan, gasping into my mask as the image of Shibi sitting calmly above me, staring down at me through his dark glasses popped into my head.

"Hnnnh- I shouldn't, but I can't stop-!"

My mouth wrenched itself open into a desperate, soundless gasp as I came to the idea of my friend using me for his own gratification. The thick, white liquid coated my hand and part of my shirt. I used my clean hand to grab my glass, slamming down the rest of my drink. The ice had melted, throwing off the mix slightly.

I probably need more water than alcohol anyway. That's gonna make next Wednesday awkward…I'll figure out what to tell him before then, I'm sure.

I turned off my light and headed to my bathroom, where I washed my hands and tossed my soiled shirt into the laundry. I leaned on the counter, staring down into the sink.

Why would I think of him? He's just a friend…and besides, he has a kid. I am pretty sure that means he's straight. Not that I'm going to ask.

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose in frustration. I felt exhausted now that my 'needs' were met.

This was just a one time thing. People have strange thoughts when they're desperate. It's nothing to be ashamed of, and it's nothing to overthink.

…

…

But damned if I don't want to hear him say my name like he needs me. Just once.

"Kakashi…?"

Yeah, like that…but more-wait. What?