"Kakashi?"

The sound came again, more insistently this time. It was accompanied by a soft knock on my front door. I bolted towards it, barely taking the time to replace my mask on my way.

If a friend is visiting this late, it must be important.

I threw open the door before my visitor had a chance to lower his hand. Shibi's tired eyes met mine. His glasses were missing, unnecessary in the darkness. He looked so vulnerable without them.

"I'm sorry if I woke you."

"I was actually just on my way to bed, you didn't wake me."

"Still, I hate to bother you this late, but…"

He did not continue, instead opting to shift from one foot to the other uncomfortably in my doorway.

"Would you like to come in?"

He nodded, seeming thankful for the direction. I stepped inside ahead of him, leading him to the living room. As I flicked my lamp on I glanced over at the chair I had just been sitting in, which was thankfully spotless. I had forgotten to remove my cup, but no other mess remained. I sighed in relief, but still chose to sink back onto my couch instead of the chair.

I would rather not sit there with him here. I'd be…distracted.

Shibi settled stiffly beside me on the couch, glancing nervously around the room. His eyes lit on the glass.

"Up drinking?"

"I was. Would you like something?"

"Perhaps another time. I'm actually here to…I'm here to talk about…"

His voice, already habitually low, drifted into sounds too deep to understand. His hands were knotting themselves together over and over again in his lap. He came to visit me under his own volition, but he looked more like I had kidnapped him. I felt the need to comfort him.

"Take your time, I'm here for you."

His face softened into an expression that was equal parts emotional and physical exhaustion. His deep brown eyes reflected the warm yellow light of the lamp, making him look younger than he was. Those eyes turned towards me, unguarded for a moment. It felt like he was staring right through me, slowly reigning his focus back in from a thousand yards away and eventually bringing his gaze to rest on my face.

"It's about my son…"

I immediately sat up straighter, holding my breath so that I wouldn't miss a single word. His voice was sad, bordering on desperate.

If anything happened to one of our genin, it could mean disaster for the village's future. Depending on the circumstances, it could mean war.

"He was supposed to return from his mission early yesterday, but he's still not back."

"I'm guessing that he didn't send any word explaining why?"

"He did. But his letter said he would be back today. He wasn't."

He could be hurt, but then again…his mission was an easy one and his team mates are all more than capable. I'm sure he just got caught up on something trivial. Kiba and Akamaru are on his team, after all. Kiba's never been the punctual kind of kid. I would have been shocked if they were back on time, actually. But Shibi needs support.

I cleared my throat.

"What steps would you like to take here?"

"I…"

He took a deep breath, then exhaled it slowly.

"I want to go find him. I want to make sure my boy is safe. I get anxious every time he's out on a mission. I can't stand…"

He choked up, then looked away from me as if ashamed.

I felt the urge to reach out to him, but stifled it.

One can never tell when their touch will be welcomed, and when it will only be withstood.

He swallowed, then tried to speak again. The gravelly buzz of his voice was almost inaudible.

"I can't stand the idea of losing him. I've already lost so many…"

A tear beaded in the corner of his eye, and he tilted his head up to keep it from falling. He slipped his glasses out of his pocket and put them on, as if that would hide it.

"I understand."

He dropped his head into his hands and braced his elbows on his knees. His long fingers tangled into his hair as if he was holding himself together from the outside.

"It's alright to be concerned, Shibi. Especially about your kid."

He looked like he was seconds away from collapsing in on himself. I moved towards him, draping my arm over his shoulder. He went rigid, his body freezing and shrinking. His breathing immediately became rushed and shallow. Five of his beetles shot out of his jacket and circled around us, buzzing loudly. They landed on his chest and started skittering towards where my hand rested on his shoulder.

I overstepped.

I began to remove my arm, but he reached up and covered my hand with his, pressing it onto his shoulder. I settled myself back against the couch, letting the weight of my arm fall on his back. His beetles crawled into his sleeve one by one and vanished. He began to force himself to relax, deepening his breath and loosening one part of his body at a time.

It looks like he relaxes his legs first, one per breath, then his torso, then his chest, then his arms, then his neck…the same as me. It's how they taught us to keep our composure in school.

When he finally spoke it was not to talk about his troubles again, it was to quietly reassure me.

"It's fine. You're fine, you don't need to move."

He slowly uncurled himself from his distraught position, straightening his back against the couch and pinning my arm behind him. He kept a gentle pressure over my hand on his shoulder, holding me in place. He had shifted closer to me as he resettled, and the fabric of his jacket was now brushing against the exposed skin of my torso.

I should have grabbed a shirt before opening the door. Would it be more awkward to bring it up now…?

Shibi exhaled loudly, steadying himself.

"I'm sorry to bother you with this. I think what I really needed was just to talk to someone about my anxiety. I know he'll be back tomorrow. I just can't stop myself from worrying."

"No need to apologize. Like I said, I was awake anyway. I'm glad I could help."

I smiled my most reassuring smile at him. He leaned his head back in relief, jumping as it bumped my arm. His face flushed.

Did he just now realize that he had been holding onto me?

He took his hand off of mine quickly, as if it had burned him. As if he was just now realizing he had been clinging to it.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to impose so much, I just-"

He began to stand up and move away, but my arm was still draped around him. My reaction, muddled and slowed by exhaustion and alcohol, was to keep my hold on his shoulder. It was only for a fraction of a second, but it was enough to unbalance him. He fell back against the couch hard, an audible gasp escaping him. The squad of beetles returned, landing on my arm and facing me in a clear threat posture. He looked shocked, unsure of what I meant by keeping him there beside me.

What did I mean?

I caught his wide eyed gaze, holding it for a second before answering.

"It's alright to seek comfort, okay?"

I squeezed and then released his shoulder, shifting my hand to the back of the couch and giving him the freedom to move away. He blinked, uncertain, and then settled back beside me. He leaned against my side, pulling my arm from the back of the couch to lay across his shoulders again. He tilted his head back onto my arm, his face towards mine, his eyes closing in an attempt to force himself to relax. I rubbed my hand along his arm, matching my breathing to his own. His pets once again withdrew, their tiny legs scratching against my arm as they returned to the safety of their keeper.

"Kakashi…"

Don't say my name like that right now, please.

His breath ghosted over my skin, chilling me with his absence during every inhalation. He cocked his head to the side to look at me before continuing.

"Kakashi…Is this really okay?"

"Of course. You should be able to talk about your anxiety with someone. I'm happy to help."

"You're a good friend."

He leaned against me for several more minutes, not saying anything else.

What else is left to say?

I continued rubbing his arm and letting him lean on me for long enough that I almost fell asleep. He must have had the same experience, because I felt his head loll and then snap to attention. He rose, looking much more peaceful than when he arrived.

"I had best be going, or I'll end up passing out on your couch."

Would that be so bad?

"Thanks for visiting. Please call on me if you ever need to talk. It is never an imposition. Okay?"

He nodded, smiling softly. I walked him to my door, ready to see him off and get myself to bed. He reached out ahead of me, holding the door closed with one hand. I turned towards him.

Now what?

"I'll see you Wednesday, right?" he asked, his voice tight with undisclosed emotion.

"Of course."

He stood in front of me, uncertainty and a new kind of anxiety wafting off of him.

"Is there something else I can help you with?"

"No, I…"

He took a deep breath and held it, then very suddenly wrapped his arms around me. He stepped closer in order to crush me against him tightly. He was clinging to me as if I was the last sturdy post in a pier, and he was in danger of being swept out to sea. As if my sturdy presence was all that kept him from being lost to a power far greater than either of us. I was frozen for a moment, then allowed my arms to come together gently behind him. His body was pressed against mine close enough for me to feel his chest shaking with his heart beat. He slowly exhaled, then shoved himself off of me. He opened my front door by himself and stepped outside.

"Thank you, bye."

"Uhm…bye?"

I waved, but he was already gone.

I slept well that night.